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Twi's Ice Cream (wip)

By jrudie
Created: 2023-08-04 11:20:51
Updated: 2023-08-04 11:28:19
Expiry: Never
anontwilight sparkleslice of lifensfwcomedywippregnancy

  1. 1.
    "Fuck, I hate carrots."
  2. 2.
    >You used to like them, though.
  3. 3.
    >Oh yeah, and be Anon.
  4. 4.
    >Be opening the freezer.
  5. 5.
    >Be seeing only carrots.
  6. 6.
    >Anyways, you're about to be a dad too.
  7. 7.
    >Who would've thought that a couple dick tingling spells and a weird potion from the local rapping shaman would help you get your wife pregnant?
  8. 8.
    >The taste of that potion still burns on your taste buds: expired milk and the cheapest gasoline-tasting vodka, a cocktail of zebra alchemy you don't miss.
  9. 9.
    >Heh, but it made your dick glow purple for a week! Nightly bathroom visits were so trippy!
  10. 10.
    >And of course you had to wave it like some sort of disco glow stick while singing Disco Inferno.
  11. 11.
    >A lot of Disco Inferno, so much that Twilight magically gagged you.
  12. 12.
    >She loves that song, her hormones were just acting up.
  13. 13.
    >Speaking of music, that shaman zebra's rhymes were kind of dope.
  14. 14.
    >"Something brewing in this pot will help you bust a potent nut..." or something like that.
  15. 15.
    >She should make a mixtape... Eeh, or maybe not.
  16. 16.
    >Your eyes go through the shelves one more time.
  17. 17.
    >Carrots, carrots, carrots and ewww, more carrots.
  18. 18.
    >These disgusting orange sticks were her last munchie food.
  19. 19.
    >Boiled, steamed, fried, you name it. You ate them for weeks.
  20. 20.
    >Or was it just for two days? Fucking preggy munchies...
  21. 21.
    "My balls are freezing."
  22. 22.
    >Then close the freezer door, idiot.
  23. 23.
    >"Anooon!" A lovely voice calls you, "Did you find any ice cream!?"
  24. 24.
    "We're all out, honey!"
  25. 25.
    >"Come to the bedroom!"
  26. 26.
    >You close the door and grope your icy crotch.
  27. 27.
    "Sorry dude..."
  28. 28.
    >At least your dumbass is a dad already.
  29. 29.
    >Icicles hanging from your balls, you walk into the bedroom, and a view of your big, purple wife, who's lying on the bed, caresses your eyes.
  30. 30.
    >Damn you're good at nutting, look at that mare! She's 'uuuge!
  31. 31.
    >"W-why are you pointing at me?"
  32. 32.
    "Umm... *ahem* Sorry, I was lost in thought."
  33. 33.
    >"Hmh? So we don't have any ice cream?"
  34. 34.
    "Nope, sorry!" You know what's coming next...
  35. 35.
    >"Could you go buy me some?"
  36. 36.
    >There it is!
  37. 37.
    >Getting ice cream in this medieval ponyland isn't really easy on Sundays.
  38. 38.
    >You can't exactly walk to your local 24/7 grocery store and throw several pints of ice cream into your basket.
  39. 39.
    "How about some nicely frozen carrots?"
  40. 40.
    >Twilight pouts, "No carrots, I want ice cream!"
  41. 41.
    "How about some nicely unfrozen carrots?"
  42. 42.
    >"No carrots!" Twilight's magic grabs you by the collar of your shirt.
  43. 43.
    >She slowly pulls you closer, "I... Want... Ice cream!"
  44. 44.
    >Your carrot hustle needs some work.
  45. 45.
    "Jeez Twi, you're like some kind of spoiled brat-stoner hybrid."
  46. 46.
    >"I'm not!" She lets you go, "And what's a stoner?"
  47. 47.
    "Right, you ponies don't inhale dank, I forgot."
  48. 48.
    "Okay, I can go get you some ice cream, but what's in it for me, heh?" You say half jokingly, hoping for some lewd times.
  49. 49.
    >Hmm, are those flames in her eyes?
  50. 50.
    >Shit, it's a full blown fire, abort mission!
  51. 51.
    "Please excuse my manners your bookworminess." You slightly bow, "I'm your humble servant."
  52. 52.
    >Twilight horsey snorts and slowly shakes her head, "You're helpless."
  53. 53.
    "And I'm here for the rest of your life!"
  54. 54.
    >Twilight's magic grabs you again, this time by your cheeks.
  55. 55.
    >"Only..."
  56. 56.
    >She pulls you down, your nose presses against her snoot.
  57. 57.
    >Like a bullet, her blazing and determined gaze pierces your eyes.
  58. 58.
    >"...If you get me some ice cream."
  59. 59.
    "Are you threaten- mmmph!"
  60. 60.
    >Head now tilted, Twilight squeezes your cheeks and kisses you.
  61. 61.
    >Long kiss, her magic holding you still so you can't pull away.
  62. 62.
    >Like you would do that, never in a million years.
  63. 63.
    >Tongue poking her teeth, you beg for entry, but Twilight breaks the kiss.
  64. 64.
    >With a moan, she exhales in your ear.
  65. 65.
    >Please, my dear husband." Her ear-tickling words send a jolt down your spine, making you shiver a bit.
  66. 66.
    >Or a lot, since she started to lick and nibble your ear.
  67. 67.
    "You want me to walk around the town with a boner?"
  68. 68.
    >"No, but I won't complain if you do around the house, mommy likes to see her candy cane."
  69. 69.
    >She slowly drags her broad tongue across your ear.
  70. 70.
    >"Mmm, too bad I'm always so eager to drain you that I can't truly enjoy the sight of it."
  71. 71.
    "Y-yeah what a bummer."
  72. 72.
    >Not sure how long you can handle this rollercoaster of emotions, first she's whiny and demanding, now all lewd.
  73. 73.
    >Twilight giggles, "Maybe we should stop before that half-mast of yours turns into a full one." Her hoof pats your bulge.
  74. 74.
    >At least the frost didn't kill your dick.
  75. 75.
    "Twi..."
  76. 76.
    >"Oh nono, mister! You have ice cream to fetch!"
  77. 77.
    You sigh, "I better get going then, before they close."
  78. 78.
    >"Don't worry Anon, you'll be back before you even know it."
  79. 79.
    "I wouldn't be so sure, what if the Cakes are not home?"
  80. 80.
    >"You worry too much! Besides, she's your friend."
  81. 81.
    "In small doses, yes. It's... It's kinda scary to face her alone."
  82. 82.
    >"Now you're just being silly!"
  83. 83.
    "No, I'm dead serious."
  84. 84.
    >You get down on your knees and put your right hand on Twilight's belly.
  85. 85.
    "Farewell kids, daddy's going into battle."
  86. 86.
    >"Gosh..." Twilight rolls her eyes.
  87. 87.
    >You lean in for a kiss, but just as your lips are about to touch this vast purple belly...
  88. 88.
    >Boom! A pony haymaker right in the face.
  89. 89.
    "Ow fuck!"
  90. 90.
    >"Language!"
  91. 91.
    "Damn, what a fighter! Our little rascal will be the next big hoofball star! Or maybe a boxing champ!"
  92. 92.
    >"Anon, stop cussing!"
  93. 93.
    You rub your chin as you stand up. "Is pony boxing a thing? How would ponies even box? With their hind legs maybe?"
  94. 94.
    >"Easy there sports daddy, we're gonna let them choose their hobbies."
  95. 95.
    "Ha! You expect me to believe that?"
  96. 96.
    >"Hmm?"
  97. 97.
    "The second I look away, you're gonna drown them in books!"
  98. 98.
    >"Of course, education is important!"
  99. 99.
    "Sure it is, but Star Swirl's ye olde books about magical squirrels are not." you say arms crossed.
  100. 100.
    >Twilight is starting to look grumpy, maybe you should stop before you get magic blasted.
  101. 101.
    "T-they're kinda cool though, the squirrels I mean."
  102. 102.
    >"Shoo! Go get me my ice cream!"
  103. 103.
    "Okay okay, I'm going!" You head for the bedroom door.
  104. 104.
    >"One more thing!"
  105. 105.
    You turn around, "Don't tell me you changed your mind already."
  106. 106.
    >"Oh no, I want you to take this."
  107. 107.
    >Twilight's magic grabs something from the nightstand.
  108. 108.
    >A pink oval gemstone is now floating in front of you.
  109. 109.
    "A gem? You want me to buy a year's worth of ice cream?"
  110. 110.
    >"It's not for payment dummy, it's a communication crystal."
  111. 111.
    >You snatch the crystal and examine it.
  112. 112.
    "A communication crystal? Why do I need this? You want to spy on me or something?"
  113. 113.
    >"No, I want to keep an eye on you."
  114. 114.
    "That's literally the same thing!"
  115. 115.
    >"It isn't!"
  116. 116.
    "It is! Heh, you think I'm going to run off into the sunset with the first mare I come across?"
  117. 117.
    >Twilight squints her eyes, "Not on my watch."
  118. 118.
    "Fuck's sake Twi, I'm your husband!"
  119. 119.
    >"FOREVER! NOPONY ELSE'S! AND STOP CUSSING!"
  120. 120.
    >Fucking hormones... Although her possessiveness is kind of hot.
  121. 121.
    "So, is there a manual for this, or should I just go with the flow and figure it out?"
  122. 122.
    >It feels like time has just slowed down as you realize what you just asked.
  123. 123.
    >Twilight's eyes sparkle, why did you ask? When will you learn from your past mistakes!?
  124. 124.
    >You sigh internally, brace for pony science sperging.
  125. 125.
    >"Glad you asked! So, that crystal there can receive messages from four different magical frequencies, *starts to ramble about magic*"
  126. 126.
    >"Anon, are you listening?"
  127. 127.
    "Yes, you have my undivided attention."
  128. 128.
    >"Good, *proceeds to ramble more*"
  129. 129.
    >*And more*
  130. 130.
    "Uh-huh."
  131. 131.
    >Doing well so far, just keep nodding and repeating that.
  132. 132.
    >*Pony magic stuff*
  133. 133.
    "Quite intriguing."
  134. 134.
    >Ooh, that was a good one.
  135. 135.
    >*Too dumb to write science jokes.*
  136. 136.
    >Three hours later.
  137. 137.
    >Or 1 minute later.
  138. 138.
    >"Hmph, you didn't listen."
  139. 139.
    "I did, I always do. I just didn't understand."
  140. 140.
    >Twilight sighs, "You'll figure it out once I call you."
  141. 141.
    "Alright, is that everything?"
  142. 142.
    >Twilight smiles and nods.
  143. 143.
    >With the crystal in your hand, you head for the door, again.
  144. 144.
    >Before you step out, you look back once more to say bye to Twilight, who lifts her hind leg and flashes her teats.
  145. 145.
    >"Do hurry back, dear."
  146. 146.
    >Hnnng, those big purple mounds with pure white pearls on the nipples.
  147. 147.
    >Run you fool, before you pop a boner!
  148. 148.
    "I'llberightback!"
  149. 149.
     
  150. 150.
    >So the quest for ice cream begins, an epic adventure through beautiful landscapes.
  151. 151.
    >Green hills, rivers, lakes, and other painting like outdoor shit.
  152. 152.
    >Something ringing interrupts your mental visual arts.
  153. 153.
    >Oh yeah, the crystal.
  154. 154.
    >Your hand slides into your pocket, and you pull it out.
  155. 155.
    >It even vibrates? Kinda neat.
  156. 156.
    >But how do you answer this? There's no green phone icon.
  157. 157.
    >Shake it? Hmh, didn't work.
  158. 158.
    >How about you just put it against your ear like a phone?
  159. 159.
    "Hello?"
  160. 160.
    >This Walmart Nokia tune so is annoying.
  161. 161.
    "Hello!?"
  162. 162.
    >Okay, this is starting to piss you off.
  163. 163.
    >You squeeze the crystal...
  164. 164.
    >"Anon, are you there!?"
  165. 165.
    >...And startle as the ringing turns into Twilight's voice.
  166. 166.
    >Shit, you dropped the crystal.
  167. 167.
    >"Anon?"
  168. 168.
    "Yeah yeah, I'm here." You pick it up and do a quick check for cracks.
  169. 169.
    >"You dropped the crystal, didn't you?"
  170. 170.
    "N-no."
  171. 171.
    >"Don't lie to me, naughty boy! Please be careful with it, enchanting crystals is pretty time consuming."
  172. 172.
    "Sorry."
  173. 173.
    >"Speaking of you being naughty, why did you leave me in this state?"
  174. 174.
    "I don't follow, what state?"
  175. 175.
    >"You talk about your boners, tease me, make me all warm and oh so wet, then you just leave!"
  176. 176.
    >...
  177. 177.
    >Is she serious? Are hormones turning her brain to mush?
  178. 178.
    "Firstly, you told me to go buy ice cream."
  179. 179.
    "Secondly, I'm outside, you know, in public, and I'd prefer not to talk about boners and wetness."
  180. 180.
    >Couple seconds of silence.
  181. 181.
    >"Hehee!" Twilight giggles, "Sorry Anon, I just had to!"
  182. 182.
    You sigh, "So, this was just a prank call?"
  183. 183.
    >"Mmmh, not exactly, I meant to ask, are you there yet?"
  184. 184.
    >Really?
  185. 185.
    >Eyes closed, you rub your temples with your index fingers.
  186. 186.
    "Twi, I'm like..."
  187. 187.
    >You look back at the tree that is your home.
  188. 188.
    "...300 feet or hooves or whatever the pony unit was from home."
  189. 189.
    "A-and please, do not start to educate me about measuring units..."
  190. 190.
    >"Hmph, you're no fun. Chop chop, I want my ice cream and my man back!"
  191. 191.
    >And just like that, she hangs up.
  192. 192.
    >At least you got promoted from naughty boy to man.
  193. 193.
    >"Hi Anon!" A tiny white pony, who has a wide smile on her face, looks up at you.
  194. 194.
    "Oh hi there Sweetie Belle! How are you?"
  195. 195.
    >"I'm doing fine! Did you talk to Twilight?" Sweetie Belle looks around. "Did she teleport? I wanted to say hi."
  196. 196.
    "Twilight's at home, but I did speak to her." You show her the crystal. "She told me to go buy ice cream and gave me this so that we could communicate."
  197. 197.
    >"Oh, that's cool!" She hops in place, "How's she doing? When are the babies coming?"
  198. 198.
    "Soon hopefully! And Twilight is doing fine, she's getting bigger and more cranky heh!"
  199. 199.
    >"Cranky?" Sweetie Belle tilts her head.
  200. 200.
    "Cranky because she's anxious and maybe a little bit scared, nothing unusual though! All part of being pregnant."
  201. 201.
    >"Ooh! I'd be super scared if I were pregnant!"
  202. 202.
    >To be honest, you're scared too... Too many nights you've spent thinking about how your kids will look.
  203. 203.
    >"Umm, Anon?"
  204. 204.
    "Yeah?"
  205. 205.
    >"Can I ask you a question?"
  206. 206.
    "Sure, hit me."
  207. 207.
    >Sweetie Belle kicks you in the right leg.
  208. 208.
    "Ow, I didn't mean literally!"
  209. 209.
    >"O-oops! S-sorry!"
  210. 210.
    You kneel down to rub your leg, "Don't worry about it, I'm not fragile. Heh, you're pretty strong for such a small pony."
  211. 211.
    >"I'm not small!"
  212. 212.
    "Sure sure. So, what was it you wanted to ask me?"
  213. 213.
    >"What's a boner?"
  214. 214.
    >Your hands stop, what did she just ask?
  215. 215.
    >Eyes wide and fixed on Sweetie Belle, you get up and slowly blink twice in disbelief.
  216. 216.
    "How... You heard that?"
  217. 217.
    >"Yes!"
  218. 218.
    "Were you eavesdropping?"
  219. 219.
    >Sweetie Belle's ears drop and her cheeks turn red. "M-maybe a little."
  220. 220.
    "You do know that's rude, right?"
  221. 221.
    >"I know, I know! But could you tell me? Pleaaaaase?"
  222. 222.
    >Fuck, you have to lie something, otherwise she and her minipony gang will haunt you forever.
  223. 223.
    "It's a... It's a human thing, when we get excited, we might..."
  224. 224.
    >"You get a boner when you're excited?"
  225. 225.
    >DO NOT LAUGH. Don't even smile.
  226. 226.
    "Y-yeah, something like that." You say with your best neutral expression, barely moving your lips.
  227. 227.
    >"Okay! Well, I have to go, me and the girls have some crusading to do, we're gonna sing today!"
  228. 228.
    >"I'm sorry for eavesdropping!" Sweetie Belle yells as she trots away.
  229. 229.
    >You have a weird feeling this will backfire.
  230. 230.
    >You really need to clean your mouth, ponies can't handle swear or sex words that well.
  231. 231.
    >And it's pretty redneck to cuss anyways.
  232. 232.
    >But this was partially Twi's fault too! Stupid sexy pony wife.
  233. 233.
    >Well, side quest completed, back to the main one.
  234. 234.
    >Gotta shake a leg and make hay while the sun shines.
  235. 235.
    >And you most certainly don't want to bump into more ponies you know.
  236. 236.
    >Thankfully, you have mad stealth skills, so dodging curious ponies who want to ask about their town librarian should be easy enough.
  237. 237.
    >Using back alleys to your advantage, you jog across the town.
  238. 238.
    >Then you stop.
  239. 239.
    >You've arrived... At the gates of hell, diabetes hell.
  240. 240.
    >Some call it "Sugarcube Corner", what a cute name for such a spine-chilling place like this!
  241. 241.
    >Behind these gates lives one particular pony.
  242. 242.
    >The pink menace, the sugar abuser, the midnight caffeine injection, the living line of coke.
  243. 243.
    >Pinkamena Diane Pie, also known as Pinkie Pie, Ponyville's very own party master and baker.
  244. 244.
    >You look down at your shaking hands, are you really this afraid of her?
  245. 245.
    >Get your shit together before you hyperventilate! You're here because your wife needs her fix!
  246. 246.
    >And being the awesome best husband ever that you are, you'll get this fuc... fricking ice cream!
  247. 247.
    >Shit, you almost swore, but it wasn't out loud, so that doesn't count, right?
  248. 248.
    >But what if that dream-stalking, mind-reading princess hears them?
  249. 249.
    >Whatever, time for action.
  250. 250.
    >You try to lift your right hand, but it fights back, so you force it up with your left.
  251. 251.
    >For the love of Dayhorse, please, Cakes, be home.
  252. 252.
    >Pleasepleaseplease.
  253. 253.
    >*Knock knock*
  254. 254.
    >Just as your hand withdraws, the door flies open and hits you.
  255. 255.
    >Now on your butt and in teeth-clenching pain, you try to hold every curse word imaginable inside.
  256. 256.
    >You look up and see a pink, grinning pony standing in front of you.
  257. 257.
    >"HI NONNY! SORRY NONNY!"
  258. 258.
    You stand up. "Hi Pinkie, how are you... doing?"
  259. 259.
    >This mare is shaking like some kind of a speedfreak.
  260. 260.
    >Sure, she's hyperactive, but this is next level.
  261. 261.
    "Are you alright?"
  262. 262.
    >"I'm fiiiine, matter of fact, I'm so fine that I could jump to the moon!"
  263. 263.
    >"Jump, jump, jump, jump!" Needless to say, she's bouncing all over the place.
  264. 264.
    "Umm, okay, are the Cakes home?"
  265. 265.
    >"Noooope! They're having a big big family reunion in Fillydelphia!"
  266. 266.
    >Run! Escape while you still can!
  267. 267.
    >But you need that ice cream for Twilight, you can't be the awesome best husband ever if you come back home empty-handed.
  268. 268.
    >"So, wanna come in?"
  269. 269.
    "I, umm, don't have that much time..."
  270. 270.
    >"Oh, c'mon, Nonny, don't be a stranger!"
  271. 271.
    >Pink mane wraps around your right wrist and pulls you in.
  272. 272.
    >The gates lock behind you.
  273. 273.
     
  274. 274.
    >The lair of the pink demon...
  275. 275.
    >The warmth hugs your face, and the smell of freshly baked goods pets your brain.
  276. 276.
    >Shelves full of colorful candy jars and various types of pastries, and that cute pink cash register with a heart on it.
  277. 277.
    >There are so many different types of chocolate too, enough to make you drool.
  278. 278.
    >It's... It's kinda cozy, to be honest.
  279. 279.
    >Snap out of it! Don't let this coziness fool you! She's evil, eeevil!
  280. 280.
    >Maybe you're exaggerating a bit, Pinkie is more annoying with her hyperactivity and impulsiveness than evil.
  281. 281.
    >She has her good days and her bad days, and this seems to be one of the latter.
  282. 282.
    >Pink mane wrapped around your wrist, you follow Pinkie into the kitchen like some sort of prisoner.
  283. 283.
    >It was supposed to be a simple hit-and-run mission, but now you're a P.O.W.
  284. 284.
    >Maybe Twi could bail you out with sugar?
  285. 285.
    >Don't know if feeding more white powder to this addict is such a good idea, though.
  286. 286.
    >You sigh, no rest for the apeman in Ponyland...
  287. 287.
    >"Here we are, Nonny!" The pink mane unwraps, freeing your slightly numb hand.
  288. 288.
    "Care to explain why you dragged me all the way to the kitchen?" You say while shaking your hand, trying to make your blood flow again.
  289. 289.
    >"Imadeonehundredcupcakes!"
  290. 290.
    "You what? Slow down."
  291. 291.
    >"I said!" Pinkie starts to jump around again.
  292. 292.
    >"I made!" *Boing*
  293. 293.
    >"One!" *Boing*
  294. 294.
    >"Hundred!" *Boing*
  295. 295.
    >"Cupcakes!" *Boing boing*
  296. 296.
    "Really? But I can't see any?"
  297. 297.
    >For a brief moment, all you can see is pink as Pinkie zooms around the kitchen, opening several cabinets and drawers.
  298. 298.
    >They're all full of cupcakes, dozens of cupcakes.
  299. 299.
    >"Heretheyare!" You're sure you heard some kind of tire screech sound effect when Pinkie stopped.
  300. 300.
    "Pinkie, you're starting to scare me."
  301. 301.
    >Like she wasn't already.
  302. 302.
    >"What why? I made them all for you!"
  303. 303.
    "For me? Why? I can't eat th-"
  304. 304.
    >"For you to taste silly! We're gonna have a big party, you know pretty well, whee-een! I'm soo excited, hehee!"
  305. 305.
    "How nice of you, thank you, Pinkie. But th-"
  306. 306.
    >"They're all different flavors!" I know Twilight's favorite but not yours, soso, I made every possible one I could think of!"
  307. 307.
    "Wow, that's actually pretty impressive! But won't they go bad?"
  308. 308.
    >"Oh, I'll make a new batch once I know which flavor you like the best!"
  309. 309.
    "Pinkie I appreciate the effort, but you don't have to make piles of cupcakes for me and Twi."
  310. 310.
    >Pinkie giggles. "You can't stop me! And this is my second batch anyways!"
  311. 311.
    "...Second?"
  312. 312.
    >"Yes! I did some taste testing with the first one."
  313. 313.
    "Hold up, are you saying that you ate all of the first hundred cupcakes?"
  314. 314.
    >"Yes!"
  315. 315.
    >That explains all the cupcake liners on the floor...
  316. 316.
    "So you're really high on sugar? That's the reason you're shaking and bouncing all over?"
  317. 317.
    >"Nonny, I'm bucking blasted." Pinkie hops in place.
  318. 318.
    "H-hey, maybe you should stop, your heart might give out."
  319. 319.
    >"Why would it do that?"
  320. 320.
    "Please, for me, just chill for a moment and catch a breath."
  321. 321.
    >"Okie dokie!" Pinkie stops and stares at you with her twitching eyes.
  322. 322.
    "By the way, how did you even know I was coming over?"
  323. 323.
    >"I had a feeling."
  324. 324.
    >Ah right, you forgot that this pink sugar demon is also a fortune teller, like everything else wasn't enough already.
  325. 325.
    "You're allowed to blink, you know."
  326. 326.
    >Slowly pink eyelids cover those just as pink eyes.
  327. 327.
    >"Soo, which one would you like to try first?"
  328. 328.
    "Well, actually, her purple nerdiness sent me here to acquire ice cream for her, and she made it very clear that I must hurry."
  329. 329.
    "S-so maybe some other time, when I'm not in a hurry?
  330. 330.
    >"Pffh nonsense, Twilight can wait, she's not gonna run off with that big belly of hers!"
  331. 331.
    "Pinkie please..."
  332. 332.
    >"Take a seat."
  333. 333.
    "...You don't understand the seriousness of pregnant cravings."
  334. 334.
    >"Take a seat right over there." Pinkie points at one of the barstools.
  335. 335.
    >You can't fight against the irresistible urge to sit down, how did she do that?
  336. 336.
    >"Now tell me Nonny, which one would you like to try first?"
  337. 337.
    >Looks like there's no way out of this, just give her what she wants.
  338. 338.
    "Anything with lemon in it?" Your nervous fingers tap the counter.
  339. 339.
    >Pinkie starts to shake again.
  340. 340.
    >Maybe telling her to stay still wasn't such a good idea, all of that pent-up energy is about to burst out.
  341. 341.
    >Her eyes grow, and she shakes faster and faster, and then, boom.
  342. 342.
    >"LET THE TASTING BEGIN!"
  343. 343.
    "Nonononon- mmmppfffh!!" Pink hoof starts to shove cupcakes into your mouth.
  344. 344.
    >"VANILLA LEMON!"
  345. 345.
    >"RASPBERRY LEMON!"
  346. 346.
    "Plmmssshh mmstopph!"
  347. 347.
    >"Don't talk with food in your mouth Nonny, it's rude!"
  348. 348.
    >Really!?
  349. 349.
    >"STRAWBERRY LEMON!"
  350. 350.
    >"CHOCOLATE LEMON!"
  351. 351.
    >How many lemons are there!?
  352. 352.
    >You cover your mouth with both of your hands, just chew and swallow, Anon. You're a big boy, you can do it!
  353. 353.
    >Okay, that sounded a bit perverted.
  354. 354.
    >Pinkie bounces all over the kitchen while manically giggling.
  355. 355.
    >"CUPCAKES CUPCAKES CUPCAKES MORE CUPCAKES FOR NONNY!" She starts to throw them at you.
  356. 356.
    >She's losing it big time, you hide behind the counter and pull out the crystal.
  357. 357.
    "Twilight help me!" You squeeze and shake it, but nothing happens.
  358. 358.
    >Is this thing one-way call only?
  359. 359.
    >WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN THE PURPLE PONY MANUAL!
  360. 360.
    >YOU DID, BUT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND!
  361. 361.
    >This is it then, you're going to die.
  362. 362.
    >In a fricking bakery... Without saying goodbye to your wife.
  363. 363.
    >"Anon? Are you there?"
  364. 364.
    "Twilight!"
  365. 365.
    >"Sorry for not picking up faster, I was napping."
  366. 366.
    "Please help me! Pinkie's lost it! She's gone crazy!"
  367. 367.
    >"Is her mane straight?"
  368. 368.
    "What? No, it isn't! What does that have to do with this?"
  369. 369.
    >"She's just being Pinkie then, calm down."
  370. 370.
    "She was trying to suffocate me with cupcakes, she almost punched my teeth in! Now she's bombarding me with them!"
  371. 371.
    "I'm trapped! The doors are locked, I'm being hel-"
  372. 372.
    >"Calm down, Anon. Hi Pinkie!"
  373. 373.
    >"Hi Twilight!" Pinkie stops and looks around. "I can't see you, where are you? Oh, are we playing hide and seek?"
  374. 374.
    >"No Pinkie, we are not. I'm talking to you through this crystal Anon is holding."
  375. 375.
    >"Oooh fancy, but that's a stone!"
  376. 376.
    "A stone?"
  377. 377.
    >"Yes, a stone painted pink."
  378. 378.
    "Twilight?"
  379. 379.
    >"Hmph, alright I admit, it's a stone!"
  380. 380.
    "Why did you tell me it was a crystal?"
  381. 381.
    >"Common stones aren't that magically credible, I have a reputation to maintain, and I didn't have any crystals left."
  382. 382.
    "And because of this, you told me to go collect stones the other day while you were munching carrots?"
  383. 383.
    >"Yes. It's actually pretty cute and amusing that you didn't figure it out, heh."
  384. 384.
    >Pinkie laughs, and you slowly shake your head.
  385. 385.
    "But isn't it more impressive that you can make stones do the same thing?"
  386. 386.
    >"Good point! You might be a dummy from time to time, but you always find the right things to say, that's one of the reasons I married you."
  387. 387.
    "Thanks?" The way she said that made you blush a bit, and Pinkie laugh harder.
  388. 388.
    >"Pinkie, do you have any ice cream for me and Anon?
  389. 389.
    >"Sorry, Twilight, but I'm afraid we're all out."
  390. 390.
    >"Oh oh! But I'm sure Rarity has some ice cream! She has her not-so-secret stash for her drama episodes, hehe!"
  391. 391.
    >"Anon?"
  392. 392.
    "Yeah yeah, I'll go see Rarity next."
  393. 393.
    >"Good, I'm gonna nap some more. Take care Pinkie! Oh, and do come visit us soon!"
  394. 394.
    >"What if I come over tomorrow? I can bring the rest of the cupcakes I made for Anon!"
  395. 395.
    >"You'll bring cupcakes too? That'd be lovely, see you then!"
  396. 396.
    >"Bye Twilight!"
  397. 397.
    >It's just you and her again.
  398. 398.
    *Ahem* You clear your throat and break the awkward silence.
  399. 399.
    "Thank you eeh, for the cupcakes, but as you heard, Twi's waiting for her ice cream, so I have to get going. Could you unlock the doors for me?"
  400. 400.
    >"What do you mean? The doors aren't locked, silly!"
  401. 401.
    "But I heard how the locks clicked."
  402. 402.
    >"That must've been Gummy! He likes to imitate sounds."
  403. 403.
    >Just let it be and leave, Anon.
  404. 404.
    "That explains it then, well I'm off to Rarity's thanksagainforthecupcakesbye!" You open the door and dash out.
  405. 405.
     
  406. 406.
    >Running free, yeah! Oh, you're running free!
  407. 407.
    >Still no ice cream, but you survived!
  408. 408.
    >But at what cost? She's coming to visit tomorrow.
  409. 409.
    >Maybe Twilight can keep her calm... Whatever, that's tomorrow's problem, don't think about it and live these short hours in denial!
  410. 410.
    >Running free, running wild, next stop: Carousel Boutique!
  411. 411.
    >With every Pinkie-free step, the merry-go-round tent grows larger.
  412. 412.
    >Almost there, you can already feel the cold pint in your hands.
  413. 413.
    >But then someone stops you.
  414. 414.
    >"Training for the running of the leaves already, Anon?" A cheerful mint-green unicorn asks.
  415. 415.
    >"Hi Lyra, no, I'm not. I'm trying to get ice cream for Twilight."
  416. 416.
    >Lyra raises an eyebrow. "From Rarity? Ooooh! You're gonna snatch some of her drama ice cream?"
  417. 417.
    "Something like that. Pinkie was all out, but she figured Rarity would have some."
  418. 418.
    >"And our dear Twilight will give you a hard time if you don't get her any?"
  419. 419.
    "Yeah..."
  420. 420.
    >Lyra giggles into her hoof. "Hehe, you poor thing. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does she sperg about foals?"
  421. 421.
    "11! I know we live in a library, but you should see the baby book piles, they're everywhere!"
  422. 422.
    "I think the only book-free zone is our freezer because it's full of carrots."
  423. 423.
    >Lyra is doing her best to hold back her laughter, your frustrated waving hands aren't really helping her.
  424. 424.
    "A-and if that wasn't enough, she asked Princess Celestia to send more books! Some ancient ones written in ye olde ponish."
  425. 425.
    "So now, she translates them into modern-day ponish while lecturing me about old traditions that give me the heebie-jeebies."
  426. 426.
    >"I-I'm soso sorry, Anon." Lyra starts to laugh her cutie marks off.
  427. 427.
    Arms crossed, you watch this wheezing mare. "Yeah, kick the guy who's already on the ground."
  428. 428.
    >"S-sorry! I couldn't help it." She wipes tears from her cheeks. "Don't worry though, soon you two will hardly have any time to read or sleep!"
  429. 429.
    "Gee Lyra, thanks for the encouraging words."
  430. 430.
    >"Hey c'mon, I'm just teasing you, don't pout! It'll all be worth it, trust me."
  431. 431.
    "I know, I know... Sorry for venting."
  432. 432.
    >"No problem, I think you needed that."
  433. 433.
    "Yeah I did, thanks."
  434. 434.
    You squint your eyes and point at Lyra. "But I will find time to train, and I will beat you and Bon Bon, what happened last year will not happen again."
  435. 435.
    >"You can always try and fail miserably!"
  436. 436.
    "Failing is not an option, victory will be mine."
  437. 437.
    >"Hehe, we'll see. But now I gotta run, I promised to pick up Bon Bon from work."
  438. 438.
    >"Please give Twilight my regards!" Lyra shouts as she trots off.
  439. 439.
    >"And you give mine to Bon Bon!" You wave goodbye.
  440. 440.
    >The run isn't even that serious, but Lyra and Bon Bon always joke at your expense, and it gets under your skin more than you care to admit.
  441. 441.
    >Four legs against two, it's not even fair in the first place! Stupid bullying cheater ponies.
  442. 442.
    >Aight enough of that, time to meet the curly-maned fashionista.
  443. 443.
    >Now at the boutique's door, you can see light coming from the inside.
  444. 444.
    >Thank Celestia, she's home.
  445. 445.
    >You ring the doorbell, and some generic classical tune plays.
  446. 446.
    >Does she listen to this all day long?
  447. 447.
    >The door opens, and a rather furious-looking Rarity looks up at you.
  448. 448.
    >"You!"
  449. 449.
    "Hi Ra-"
  450. 450.
    >"How dare you show your face here!?"
  451. 451.
    >Like two knives, her gaze pierces your eyes and skull. This mare is pissed off.
  452. 452.
    >"You beastly ruffian, you unmannered ape!
  453. 453.
    "H-hey, calm down."
  454. 454.
    >"I knew you were trouble all along!"
  455. 455.
    "What's going on? I didn't ruin any of my jeans! A-and I-I didn't lose any more socks, honest!"
  456. 456.
    >Rarity grinds her teeth. "What's going on? WHAT'S GOING ON?"
  457. 457.
    >Okay, this is starting to get a bit scary.
  458. 458.
    >"Listen, you brute!"
  459. 459.
    >You listen closely and hear singing. Is that Sweetie Belle and her gang?
  460. 460.
    >"We're so excited, and we just can't hide it!"
  461. 461.
    >"Our enormous boners!"
  462. 462.
    >The Crusaders made a song about... boners?
  463. 463.
    >Holy fricking shit, is this real?
  464. 464.
    >"We're about to lose control, and we think we like it!"
  465. 465.
    >You do lose control, you tried your very best, but this was too much.
  466. 466.
    >Rarity screams something, but you're too busy laughing your ass off.
  467. 467.
    "Hahah! *smack* Ow!" She hits you in the head with a rolled-up newspaper.
  468. 468.
    >"How many times! *smack* Have I told you! *smack* To watch your language around Sweetie Belle! *smack*"
  469. 469.
    "I'm innocent! She eavesdropped on my and Twi's conversation!"
  470. 470.
    >"Don't blame it on her!"
  471. 471.
    "It's the truth!" *smack smack*
  472. 472.
    >"Hi Anon!" The Crusaders greet you in unison.
  473. 473.
    "Hi girls, I'm pretty occupied right now, as you can see, sorry." *smack* "Ow, quit it!"
  474. 474.
    >"Never!" Rarity proceeds to hit faster.
  475. 475.
    >"We made a song!" Apple Bloom cheers.
  476. 476.
    >"We were boning super hard!" Scootaloo proudly states.
  477. 477.
    >"We can sing it to you while you do your thing with my sister!" Sweetie Belle prances.
  478. 478.
    >"B-boning? Hard? T-thing? Wahahaa!" And Rarity faints.
  479. 479.
    "Thankfully, the news was light today." You pick up the newspaper and hand it over to Sweetie Belle, who tosses it inside.
  480. 480.
    >Apple Bloom tilts her head. "Light news? Ah, don't get it."
  481. 481.
    "Umm... Anyway, is Rarity gonna be okay? Should we help her?"
  482. 482.
    >"Don't worry, my sister always does that, she'll get up eventually."
  483. 483.
    >"She's a drama queen." Scootaloo whispers and makes the girls giggle.
  484. 484.
    "You don't say..."
  485. 485.
    >"So wanna hear our song!?" All three ask.
  486. 486.
    "A-about that..."
  487. 487.
    >How do you confront this without messing up more?
  488. 488.
    "You girls can't really say the b-word."
  489. 489.
    >"Why not? You told me it means excited, what's wrong with that?"
  490. 490.
    "It's... It's an adult way to get excited, you three are still too young."
  491. 491.
    >"We are not!" Three pairs of eyes squint at you.
  492. 492.
    "You are! I'm an adult, and I'm telling you to stop using the b-word!"
  493. 493.
    >"Girls, quick Crusader meeting!" Apple Bloom shouts, her right forehoof raised in the air.
  494. 494.
    >White, orange, and yellow heads bump together, and after some intense whispering, the girls giggle and face you.
  495. 495.
    >"Give us five bits each, and we forget all about it!" Scootaloo smirks.
  496. 496.
    "15 bits!?"
  497. 497.
    >"Mm-hmm, pay up, mister!" Apple Bloom extends her hoof.
  498. 498.
    >Blackmailing rascals... Wait, maybe you can cut a deal.
  499. 499.
    "I'm looking for ice cream for Twilight, I told you that, right, Sweetie Belle?"
  500. 500.
    >"Yep!"
  501. 501.
    "Well, I haven't found any yet, and I know for a fact that your sister has her... Stash."
  502. 502.
    "So, what if I give you 20 bits for two pints of ice cream and you three stop using the b-word?"
  503. 503.
    >The Crusaders look at each other and then at you. "Deal!"
  504. 504.
    >"Are you sure you want two? They're kinda big pints." Sweetie Belle asks.
  505. 505.
    "How big?"
  506. 506.
    >"Like, umm, Rarity big?"
  507. 507.
    "I have no idea what that means, could you show me one?"
  508. 508.
    >"Bits first!" Scootaloo demands.
  509. 509.
    "Hmph, maybe you three will get your cutie marks in thiev-"
  510. 510.
    >The hole is already deep enough, just shut up and pay.
  511. 511.
    >Three little ponies squee as they watch you dig your wallet out of your pocket.
  512. 512.
    "Five for you and you, ten for Sweetie Belle. Now ladies, the ice cream?"
  513. 513.
    >"Yes sir!" All three salute and gallop inside.
  514. 514.
    >Before you can blink, there's a big pint of chocolate strawberry ice cream in front of you.
  515. 515.
    >Like, really, really big. That thing is a one-gallon monster.
  516. 516.
    You zoom in on the label. "Queen size. Oh, now I get why you called it Rarity-sized."
  517. 517.
    >"Hehe! Do you still want two?"
  518. 518.
    "I think one is more than enough, thank you."
  519. 519.
    >"Check your flanks, girls!" Sweetie Belle looks at her backside. "Any dairy product or bit cutie marks?"
  520. 520.
    >Apple Bloom shakes her head. "Nope!"
  521. 521.
    >"Aww c'mon! Can't we get our marks already!?" Scootaloo stomps the ground.
  522. 522.
    "Don't worry girls, you'll get them eventually."
  523. 523.
    >"We better!" All three groan, heads hanging.
  524. 524.
    "You don't want to rush them, what if you get a cutie mark that you don't like? It'll be with you forever, remember that."
  525. 525.
    >The three little fillies lift their heads and look at each other.
  526. 526.
    "So, try things you actually find interesting and would like to do, instead of desperately trying to get your cutie marks from random things."
  527. 527.
    >"Anon's right!" Apple Bloom cheers.
  528. 528.
    >"We are not desp- mppfh!" Sweetie Belle's hoof muffles Scootaloo.
  529. 529.
    >"We kinda are, and you're right, we have to focus on things we truly like. Please don't tell anypony Anon, if Diamond Tiara hears we're desperate, she'll laugh at us.
  530. 530.
    "Your secrets are safe with me. I should take this to Twilight before it melts." You pick up the pint. "Please take care of your big sister, Sweetie Belle."
  531. 531.
    >"I will!" Sweetie Belle sighs and looks at her sister. "She seriously needs to get laid."
  532. 532.
    "Hah! You're right about that!"
  533. 533.
    >...
  534. 534.
    >Wait what?
  535. 535.
    "How much for not saying the l-word?"
  536. 536.
    >"You know our price, Anon." Apple Bloom gives you the most devilish smile.
  537. 537.
    >One quick payment later, you're broke and running again.
  538. 538.
    "Twilight!" You scream into the pink stone. "Rarity had ice cream for you!"
  539. 539.
    >"Wonderful! Hurry back, dear!"
  540. 540.
    "I'll be right there, I'm doing the most scuffed Rocky Balboa run!"
  541. 541.
    >"Rocky what?"
  542. 542.
    "No time to explain, seeyousoon!"
  543. 543.
    >Hands freezing and ice cream melting, you run back home.
  544. 544.
    >Kick the front door open.
  545. 545.
    >Run to the kitchen.
  546. 546.
    "YOUR ICE CREAM, MADAM!"
  547. 547.
    >And collapse on the floor, out of breath.
  548. 548.
    >"Anon!"
  549. 549.
    "I'm fine... I'm just exhausted."
  550. 550.
    >Twilight's magic grabs the pint and levitates it into the freezer.
  551. 551.
    >You're a bit surprised that there was enough room for it. Fricking carrots...
  552. 552.
    >"Get up."
  553. 553.
    "Nah, I'm cool. The floor is actually comfy when you're numb enough."
  554. 554.
    >Magic goes off again, and your vision turns purple.
  555. 555.
    >You still sometimes forget how powerful your wife actually is, she lifts you up in the air as if you were light as a feather.
  556. 556.
    "My precious floor! Put me back down!"
  557. 557.
    >"Nuh-uh, your sweaty bum is going into the bath tub, I'm gonna pamper my hero of a husband."
  558. 558.
     
  559. 559.
    "What did we talk about heavy lifting?"
  560. 560.
    >"You're not heavy at all, my dear husband, you're in really good shape, actually."
  561. 561.
    "Thanks to you."
  562. 562.
    >"Hm?"
  563. 563.
    "Your cravings, chores, and whatnot are keeping me running."
  564. 564.
    >Twilight's ears droop. "I'm sorry, honey, I-"
  565. 565.
    "Don't be." You cut her apology short. "I'm maybe a bit tired, but not mad or anything. You know I'd do anything for you."
  566. 566.
    >"I know, but I'm sometimes afraid that you think I take you for granted in my hormone-ridden haze."
  567. 567.
    "You, my lovely wife, have made me the happiest man alive. You have nothing to be afraid of."
  568. 568.
    "Now, lift those ears this instant, you're making me sad."
  569. 569.
    >Purple ears perk up, and Twilight gives you a warm smile.
  570. 570.
    "Much better. Why didn't you tell me about this fear?"
  571. 571.
    >"I knew I was being silly... You know me, I tend to overthink things, especially now."
  572. 572.
    >"You should have told me that you were tired, though!"
  573. 573.
    "I really don't want to complain since you're the one who's doing all the heavy lifting."
  574. 574.
    >"It seems I wasn't the only one who didn't tell everything."
  575. 575.
    "...I guess we both are a bit silly."
  576. 576.
    >"Heh, indeed we are!"
  577. 577.
    "Maybe you could write Celestia about this, um, silliness?"
  578. 578.
    >"Good idea! I was actually going to write to her tomorrow."
  579. 579.
    "P-please don't ask for more baby books."
  580. 580.
    >"Don't worry, I wasn't going to!"
  581. 581.
    >Phew.
  582. 582.
    >"Hmm..." Twilight rubs her chin with her hoof.
  583. 583.
    >You know that look, she's already thinking about the letter.
  584. 584.
    >Better snap her out of it before you spend the night in magic.
  585. 585.
    "What about the bath? Or are you gonna keep me in midair for the rest of the evening?"
  586. 586.
    >"Oh right!"
  587. 587.
    "The front door is still open, by the way."
  588. 588.
    >You floating in magic, Twilight heads for the front door.
  589. 589.
    >It kinda feels like you're swimming without moving yourself.
  590. 590.
    >"Did you really have to kick it? There's a shoemark on it." Twilight examines and then closes the door.
  591. 591.
    "Can't stop a moving ice cream train! I'll clean it up later."
  592. 592.
    >"Well, mister train, you don't need these dirty things any longer."
  593. 593.
    >Magic unlaces and takes off your shoes. You curl and uncurl your aching toes.
  594. 594.
    >A pair of Rarity's finest, now neatly placed next to the door, this purple heavy load turns around and jiggles its way towards the bathroom.
  595. 595.
    >She looks so wide from above... her big belly is mesmerizing.
  596. 596.
    >Eyes clued to your wife's swaying belly, you don't notice that you're in the bathroom already.
  597. 597.
    >Twilight turns you upright, and your feet meet the warm bathroom floor.
  598. 598.
    You look at the bathtub. "Ah, you filled the tub already."
  599. 599.
    >"I started to prepare it after your call."
  600. 600.
    "Thank you. It feels like my insides are still floating." You say while rubbing your stomach.
  601. 601.
    >"Your insides are fine, it wasn't an anti-gravity spell."
  602. 602.
    "...Do you perhaps know one?"
  603. 603.
    >"I do, actually!"
  604. 604.
    >Mental note: Sex in low gravity.
  605. 605.
    "Of course you do, you're an egghead after all." You squat down to boop her snout. "My beautiful egghead wife."
  606. 606.
    >"Dork..." Twilight rubs her scrunching snout. "Now, please strip."
  607. 607.
    You stand back up. "In front of you?"
  608. 608.
    >Eyes half-lidded, Twilight nods.
  609. 609.
    "Should I dance as well?" You give your hips a little shake.
  610. 610.
    >"I... I prefer if you don't."
  611. 611.
    "Your loss."
  612. 612.
    >Eager pony eyes fixed on you, you take off your t-shirt and your socks.
  613. 613.
    >Then you slooowly unbuckle your belt and pull your pants down.
  614. 614.
    >Twilight bites her lower lip as she sees your underpants.
  615. 615.
    >Power pony boxers! Rarity's face was priceless when you asked for a pair. "But darling, you're an adult! You simply can't wear something like that."
  616. 616.
    >Hell fricking yes, you can!
  617. 617.
    >Your thumbs slide underneath the waistband while you turn around.
  618. 618.
    >"H-hey! I want to see!"
  619. 619.
    "What can I say? I'm a modest man."
  620. 620.
    >"You're no fun!"
  621. 621.
    "Says you, striptease hater!"
  622. 622.
    >"I don't hate..." You yank the power ponies down. "...striptease."
  623. 623.
    "So you just hate my dancing?"
  624. 624.
    >"No... I love it..." You feel how a hoof quickly pokes your butt.
  625. 625.
    "Sure you do."
  626. 626.
    >Very carefully, you step into the tub, you don't want to show your dear wife anything more lewd than your butt.
  627. 627.
    >Safe under bubbles, you look at your pouting wife and smirk. "Perfect temperature! You really know how to treat your husband."
  628. 628.
    "You're welcome." Twilight collects your clothes and puts them in the laundry basket.
  629. 629.
    You sigh after a quick dip. "My aching is melting away."
  630. 630.
    >Twilight sits next to you, her big belly presses against the side of the bathtub.
  631. 631.
    >"You need a haircut."
  632. 632.
    "Way to ruin the moment, Twi."
  633. 633.
    >Twilight leans in, and she plants a kiss on your cheek. "I'm only kidding." A couple more kisses along your shoulder and a quick nuzzle.
  634. 634.
    >"Thank you for getting me ice cream."
  635. 635.
    "Anything for you. I'm the awesome best husband after all."
  636. 636.
    >"Heh, you truly are. Now lean back, dear." Magic grabs you by the shoulders.
  637. 637.
    >With a grunt, you oblige as it sinks into your skin.
  638. 638.
    >"Too rough?"
  639. 639.
    "Nah, I'm just stiff."
  640. 640.
    >"Let your wife loosen you up, then." Twilight applies a bit more pressure.
  641. 641.
    "I'll be your punching bag." You chuckle, eyes closed.
  642. 642.
    >Twilight rolls her eyes.
  643. 643.
    >Magic draws your muscles upward, and while gently squeezing, it rolls them towards your collarbones.
  644. 644.
    >Every rub hurts a bit, but your brain's feel-good chemicals, along with the warmth of the bath, are giving the middle finger to the pain.
  645. 645.
    >Rub after rub, you dive deeper into this euphoric bliss. It's making you feel mellow and so drowsy that you almost fall asleep.
  646. 646.
    >But your wife's ear-tickling lips won't let you, they pull your mind back to the surface.
  647. 647.
    >"Anon?"
  648. 648.
    >Or at least they try their best. You turn to look at grinning Twilight as your brain barely registers her whisper.
  649. 649.
    "Yes?"
  650. 650.
    >"You might be safe from my eyes, but not from my magic~"
  651. 651.
    >The sultry tone of her voice finally wakes you up. Or maybe it's the magic groping your balls?
  652. 652.
    >Twilight rests her head on your shoulder. "My... Somepony is quite full and already at half-mast. Was my massage that good?"
  653. 653.
    "I... Y-yeah it was, thanks."
  654. 654.
    >"I'm glad to hear that. Would my little husband like a massage as well?"
  655. 655.
    >Twilight gives you two gentle tugs, which are enough to make you throb in your full pride.
  656. 656.
    >Unable to form an answer, you just plead with your eyes.
  657. 657.
    >"You're way too easy to overwhelm, my dear husband. Not that I complain, heh."
  658. 658.
    >Magic petting your frenulum forces you to shut your eyes again.
  659. 659.
    >"Shivering?" Twilight giggles. "Let's make you squirm."
  660. 660.
    >As the word "squirm" leaves her mouth, Twilight pulls your skin all the way back.
  661. 661.
    >Your legs kick, and water splashes. Twilight kisses your shoulder while keeping your skin pulled back.
  662. 662.
    >"What do we say?"
  663. 663.
    "P-please?"
  664. 664.
    >"Please what?"
  665. 665.
    "Please stroke me!"
  666. 666.
    >"Good boy!" Jelly-like magic envelops your whole lower body and starts to jerk you off.
  667. 667.
    >It kneads your thighs and butt while playing with your balls.
  668. 668.
    >All day, you've been running around town, blood full of adrenaline and sweating testosterone.
  669. 669.
    >Now all of that is rushing down into your dick, which throbs harder by the second.
  670. 670.
    >Squeezing your shaft more firmly, Twilight speeds up.
  671. 671.
    >"I can feel a big one building up. Will you treat your wife with your seed?"
  672. 672.
    >You grunt and nod.
  673. 673.
    >"Don't hold back then. I want all of it. All of that precious seed that impregnated me, the seed that made me this big."
  674. 674.
    >You hear slaps from under the water as Twilight gives you a couple hard pumps before speeding up again.
  675. 675.
    >You're running once again, this time for the finish line.
  676. 676.
    >The line that separates you from the immense pleasure your aching body craves.
  677. 677.
    >You better run faster then.
  678. 678.
    "T-Twi, I'm gonna-" Back arching, you prepare to shoot your white bullets.
  679. 679.
    >"Mmmh, not yet." She lets go of you.
  680. 680.
    >Just like that, you trip before reaching the finish line.
  681. 681.
    >In disbelief, you look at Twilight, who smirks at you.
  682. 682.
    "You... You just edged me!"
  683. 683.
    >"Indeed I did, hehe!"
  684. 684.
    "This was not pampering! This was torture!"
  685. 685.
    >"It was?" Twilight stands up and turns around. "In that case..." Her right hind leg takes a step aside. "You must be too scared to join me in the bedroom for more."
  686. 686.
    >Twilight lifts her tail, and she looks back at you. "Right?" She asks while giving you a double wink.
  687. 687.
    >Your eyes stare at her attention-begging babyfactory.
  688. 688.
    >That heart-shaped clit of hers is pushing more of her juices out.
  689. 689.
    >It's running down her legs... and her teats.
  690. 690.
    "I-I'm not afraid!"
  691. 691.
    >"Mmm, really? Wash yourself, then come show me how brave you are. No clothes allowed."
  692. 692.
     
  693. 693.
    >Brave... You're brave, right?
  694. 694.
    >You'd charge into machine gun fire for her and her milky boobies, your aching-edged dick of a sword raised high in the sky.
  695. 695.
    >So yes, you're brave. And it's summer, who needs clothes anyways.
  696. 696.
    >"You're cute when you're overwhelmed." Twilight snickers as she trots out of the bathroom.
  697. 697.
    >Show no weakness to this wife pony! You're not that easy!
  698. 698.
    >...
  699. 699.
    >You are that easy. But that doesn't mean you can't try to tease her back some more.
  700. 700.
    >So, just wash yourself in a cold shower and calm down. This is far from over.
  701. 701.
    >One chill, dick-softening shower later, you're following the trail of marejuice and milk to the bedroom.
  702. 702.
    >Looks like you have some mopping to do later.
  703. 703.
    >First things first, though. You collect yourself and open the door.
  704. 704.
    >Your eyes meet Twilight, who's lying on the bed, reading a book, while shoving spoonful after spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.
  705. 705.
    >"So, are you going to join me, or are you going to stand in the doorway for the rest of the night?" Twilight asks as she turns a page.
  706. 706.
    >Instead of answering, you strut towards the bed, hips swaying and your junk bouncing.
  707. 707.
    >This is either really hot or you turned your wife into a desert.
  708. 708.
    >...She doesn't lift her eyes from the book. Was the shower too cold-
  709. 709.
    >Wait, she took a quick glance! Aww yiss, still unresistable!
  710. 710.
    Radiating manly pride, you climb into the bed, stretch your limbs, and bluntly state. "We need a new bed, I think the springs are dying."
  711. 711.
    >"Really Anon? That's the first thing you say after showing off? But that does explain the man-shaped hole on your side."
  712. 712.
    "Hey, don't blame me! You made this hole."
  713. 713.
    >"Hmh?"
  714. 714.
    "A certain someone has tried to pound her husband through the bed on several occasions."
  715. 715.
    >Tail whipping your leg, Twilight puts the book down on the nightstand.
  716. 716.
    >"And that certain someone is dying to do that again, but at the moment she unfortunately cannot." Twilight turns around to face you.
  717. 717.
    "Don't you trust me when it comes to that?"
  718. 718.
    >"I do... But riding you makes me feel like a mare. A mare who takes really good care of her husband."
  719. 719.
    "Sweet Celestia! What happened to my innocent wife?"
  720. 720.
    >"Well, I found this alluring and funny apeman one day..." Twilight smiles.
  721. 721.
    You rub her belly and smile back. "Nowadays you're always trying to overwhelm me with your kinky schemes, but I still remember how shy you were when we first had sex."
  722. 722.
    >"I was a virgin, of course I was shy!"
  723. 723.
    "Hey, I was a virgin too! And us being different species made it extra awkward! I was really insecure about my size. Stallions in my world are... Really hung, to say the least."
  724. 724.
    >"I'm sure they are no match for you, hehe! Our first time was indeed awkward, but I loved every second of it."
  725. 725.
    "Every five of them?"
  726. 726.
    >Twilight chuckles. "You lasted longer than that."
  727. 727.
    "Six?"
  728. 728.
    >"Fifteen."
  729. 729.
    "Ooh, double digits! But that was really precise, did you time it or something?"
  730. 730.
    >"I-I might have."
  731. 731.
    "I was joking."
  732. 732.
    >...
  733. 733.
    "Twi, are you being serious?"
  734. 734.
    >"I... I had to take notes. I'm sorry, Anon!"
  735. 735.
    "What? Really? Next, you're gonna tell me that you wrote Celestia about it?"
  736. 736.
    >"I..."
  737. 737.
    "The Princess of The Sun KNOWS we had sex?"
  738. 738.
    >"L-Luna knows too."
  739. 739.
    >AAAAAAAAAAA
  740. 740.
    >"But they don't know any details! Just the fact that we had some... Adult fun!"
  741. 741.
    "Twi, I love you from the bottom of my heart, but for fuck's sake, why!?"
  742. 742.
    >"Language!"
  743. 743.
    "Ah right, sorry. I knew dating a nerd had its quirks, but some stuff has to stay in private."
  744. 744.
    >"I know, I know! I was young and foolish! And in love..."
  745. 745.
    "Well, I'm still in love, are you?"
  746. 746.
    >Twilight nuzzles your nose. "From the bottom of my heart. Will you forgive me?"
  747. 747.
    "Of course I will. I can't look the princesses in the eye anymore, though."
  748. 748.
    >"Oh, don't worry about them! They like you quite a lot."
  749. 749.
    "Let's change the subject! Do you like your ice cream?"
  750. 750.
    >"Oh, I do! Want a taste?"
  751. 751.
    "Sure."
  752. 752.
    >"Close your eyes and open your mouth then."
  753. 753.
    "Okay?"
  754. 754.
    >Eyes closed and mouth open, you wait for the inbound spoon holding some cold, creamy goodness.
  755. 755.
    >"Don't pe-eek!"
  756. 756.
    >You were right about the creamy goodness part...
  757. 757.
    >But you got the spoon wrong. It's Twilight's tongue that is doing the delivery.
  758. 758.
    >It swirls and smears tasty ice cream all over your dumbfounded tongue.
  759. 759.
    >Twilight then keeps her tongue pressed against yours until the ice cream is completely melted.
  760. 760.
    >Strong darkish chocolate and a soothing strawberry aftertaste, ponies sure know how to make ice cream.
  761. 761.
    >The mix of cold and warm, along with the taste, is taking your mind into uncharted territories.
  762. 762.
    >With a giggle, Twilight breaks this creamy, one-sided kiss. "How was it?"
  763. 763.
    "Chocolate, strawberries, and purple. My three all-time favorites! But I want more."
  764. 764.
    >Your belly-rubbing hand moves on Twilight's back, and you pull yourself closer to her.
  765. 765.
    >Like the softest, biggest pillow ever, her belly presses against yours. Her soft fur tickles you more and more as her breathing quickens.
  766. 766.
    "More of you." You say while running your fingers through her mane.
  767. 767.
    >Hearts fill Twilight's eyes. She opens her mouth to say something, but you pull her into a kiss.
  768. 768.
    >She lets out a whiny moan as your tongue slides in to look for its favorite dance partner.
  769. 769.
    >Which it finds, dumbfounded. Looks like your wife wasn't waiting for a counterattack.
  770. 770.
    >Still stroking her mane, you move your other hand back onto her belly, and your tongue starts attacking.
  771. 771.
    >It pokes and licks, trying to snap its partner out of confusion, while you rub circles up and down her round belly.
  772. 772.
    >Finally, Twilight tilts her head a bit, and your tongues intertwine to begin their dance.
  773. 773.
    >Like always, her broader tongue is trying to take the lead, but you fight back.
  774. 774.
    >You punch, sweep, and curl, forcing her tongue to retreat.
  775. 775.
    >Twilight licks your teeth and then opens her mouth more wildly. With her plump lips surrounding yours, she releases her full attack.
  776. 776.
    >Which easily overwhelms you.
  777. 777.
    >But you'll not admit your defeat! Oh no, you're gonna fight back or suffocate trying!
  778. 778.
    >So, it is time to use your secret weapon. The secret weapon every cat, dog, and pony loves.
  779. 779.
    >Eh, well not that "secret" since you use it almost daily.
  780. 780.
    >Ear scritches!
  781. 781.
    >One more glide through her mane, and your hand moves to the base of her right ear.
  782. 782.
    >It flicks knowing what's going to happen next.
  783. 783.
    >Twilight moan-giggles into your mouth as you start to scratch. Using her giggles to your advantage, you lean in and take the lead.
  784. 784.
    >You're practically eating her snoot while rubbing her belly vigorously.
  785. 785.
    >But then your palm gets kicked.
  786. 786.
    >You break the kiss and look panting Twilight into her eyes.
  787. 787.
    "Heh, maybe we should stop before the kids run out of air?"
  788. 788.
    >"A-anon."
  789. 789.
    "Yes, T-Twi?"
  790. 790.
    >"Hmph, goof." Hoof pokes nose.
  791. 791.
    "Dummy." Finger pokes snout.
  792. 792.
    >"Husband." Nose lick.
  793. 793.
    "Wife." Snout kiss.
  794. 794.
    >"Daddy..." Twilight whispers.
  795. 795.
    "Mommy." You whisper back while patting her now-shivering belly.
  796. 796.
    >"I still can't believe-"
  797. 797.
    "That you're going to be one?"
  798. 798.
    >"Yeah."
  799. 799.
    "You're gonna be one magnificent mother! Just don't drown our kids in books."
  800. 800.
    >"I have to save them from sports!"
  801. 801.
    "Hmm, how about we let them choose?"
  802. 802.
    >"That might work..."
  803. 803.
    "Anyways, are you going to eat more ice cream? Or should I take the pint back to the freezer before it melts?"
  804. 804.
    >"I'm not done with it yet. And it's not going to melt."
  805. 805.
    "Umm, what?"
  806. 806.
    >"Heh, I was reading a book while you were in the shower."
  807. 807.
    >Twilight levitates the book from the nightstand. It hovers in front of your face, and you read the title.
  808. 808.
    "The big book of ice spells... By Maneilla Ice?"
  809. 809.
    >"She was one of the best-" Your index finger interrupts her.
  810. 810.
    "Please, no fangirl moments."
  811. 811.
    >Twilight quickly licks your finger. "Sorry."
  812. 812.
    "So, you know a spell that keeps ice cream from melting?"
  813. 813.
    >"Yep!"
  814. 814.
    "Why do we need a fridge and a freezer then?"
  815. 815.
    >"Sadly, it doesn't last that long."
  816. 816.
    "I see."
  817. 817.
    >The book flies back to the nightstand. "Heh, now I'm gonna cast one ice spell on you!"
  818. 818.
    "You what?"
  819. 819.
    >"Ice cream wasn't the only thing I was craving." She plants a quick peck on your lips.
  820. 820.
    >"I was also craving my husband. So I figured I could eat some ice cream off of you!"
  821. 821.
    "That's why you were so adamant about me getting ice cream for you?"
  822. 822.
    >"Yep!"
  823. 823.
    "You kinky kinky mare."
  824. 824.
    "But isn't ice cream, you know, cold? Some anti-melt spell is not going to help with that."
  825. 825.
    >"The book also has some ice resistance spells. You won't feel a thing!"
  826. 826.
    >You roll onto your back. "Hit me then, babe."

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