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Of Beaks and Bullets

By Kiyote
Created: 2024-07-15 06:53:42
Updated: 2024-08-12 00:56:16
Expiry: Never
gildatwilight sparklerarityrainbow dashwesterngriffon

  1. >”Twilight, darling, please tell me that we have almost arrived. I am positively FREEZING up here.” Rarity complained, shivering in her large fur coat and luxuriously fluffy scarf.
  2. >”Puh-lease. It’s waaaay colder at the altitudes I fly at, this is nothing.” Rainbow bragged above you, circling around in a lazy loop.
  3. ”Hmm? Oh, yes, we should be there in just a few minutes.” >You replied, jotting down your observations on the Hyperborean Mountains and its ecosystems.
  4. >Fluttershy would have absolutely loved to see the different animals and environments to be found up here.
  5. >But, alas, only you, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were summoned to Griffonstone by The Map.
  6. >After Gilda’s visit to Ponyville, you had been completely hooked on studying the Kingdom’s history.
  7. >You just couldn’t wait to visit the Kingdom and see their rich, fascinating culture with your own two eyes.
  8. >You made sure to bring along plenty of bits for your trip there. As long as you shared the wealth, the Griffons were sure to help you solve this friendship problem.
  9. >You read all about it in “Bygone Griffons of Greatness. Through the material was fairly old, you were certain in its authenticity.
  10. >It had said that the Griffons were once as greedy as Dragons in ancient times, always hoarding their bits and other treasures. But all that changed when King Grover found the mysterious ‘Idol of Boreas’.
  11. >Legend has it that the Idol was made from the dust of golden sunsets, blown across the mountains by the north winds. It’s said that this one great treasure is responsible for turning Griffonstone into the most majestic Kingdom in all the land, filling the Griffons with great pride.
  12. >And, supposedly, they possessed the best scones in all the land as well. Couldn’t forget to sample plenty of those. For strictly research purposes, of course.
  13. >”Hey, Twilight, look alive! Pretty sure we’ve made it, I think?” called out Rainbow Dash, though she sounded oddly unsure of her assessment.
  14. >Excitedly, you looked up from your notes, expecting to see a majestic, opulent Kingdom, but what met your gaze instead was…
  15. >”Appleloosa?”
  16. >Rarity was right, this place resembled the southern frontier town much more than the Kingdom of Gold described in the pages of Bygone Griffons of Greatness.
  17. >Had you taken a wrong turn somewhere?
  18. >You trotted down main street, full of Griffons of all shapes and sizes. And, to your surprise, the occasional Dragon as well. The buildings were mostly wooden, and on a closer inspection, had false fronts to give the impression of larger, more impressive buildings.
  19. >Saloons, hotels, diners, and a bustling market as far as the eye could see. Despite the rough, somewhat unfinished look of the large town, it was vibrant and teeming with activity.
  20. >”Oh, Sweet Celestia, I see now why the Map called for my services now. This place is absolutely begging for a makeover.” Rarity judged, refusing to step out onto the dirt and straw streets. She strictly kept to the raised wooden boardwalks on the sides of the main road.
  21. “Excuse me, sir? This is Griffonstone, correct?”
  22. >The soot covered Griffon ignored you completely, roughly brushing past you and through the doors of an assay office to collect his pay.
  23. >”My word, how brutish. Goodness, was that a diamond dog I just saw?”
  24. >”See? What’d I say? These Griffons are exactly like I thought they’d be. Rude, insensitive bullies.”
  25. “Let’s not jump to conclusions now, girls. Let’s just go find the palace, I’m sure the King will be more than willing to help us with the information we need.”
  26. >”We don’t have a king, losers.”
  27. >Suddenly, Gilda appeared from the crowd, glaring harshly at Rainbow Dash.
  28. >”Hello, Gilda.”
  29. >”Dash.”
  30. >The two former friends stared each other down, before Rainbow Dash finally broke the long silence.
  31. >”What are you doing here?”
  32. >”Uh, I’m a Griffon? What’s your excuse, dweebs?”
  33. >”Excuse me, but these ‘dweebs’ are, in fact, here to help Griffonstone. You ought to show some appreciation,” Rarity chastised.
  34. >”Help it how, exactly?” Gilda asked, skepticism and disbelief written plainly on her face.
  35. >You could tell Rarity was unprepared to answer her question and put on the back hoof, so you stepped in and answered for her.
  36. “We are here to solve a friendship problem. You see, we were summoned here by the Cutie Map. We just need to be pointed in the direction of the King’s palace, and then we’ll be completely out of your feathers.”
  37. >You smiled and explained, trying your best to difuse the tension in the air.
  38. >”Wow,” Gilda deadpanned, unimpressed. “For somepony so “smart”, you sure can’t listen for nothing. I just said we don’t have a king.”
  39. “But…but how could that be? What about the Idol of Boreas? Had it not united your species? Whatever happened to King Guto?”
  40. >You asked in complete disbelief, this made no sense at all!
  41. >A book? Wrong?!
  42. >”Huh? Idol of… Oh, brother. Grandpa Gruff’s been filling your head up with his stories, hasn’t he? Don’t tell me you actually believe any of that.”
  43. >”Look, we don’t have a king, and probably never friggin’ did. We’ve got a Sheriff, the best there ever was and is, and he’s too busy dealing with real problems to be bothered by your pony friendship crap.
  44. >”There is not a single Griffon, Dragon, or Dog here that wants anything to do with you grass munching ponies. So I’d suggest you turn around and go find the fastest way down this mountain: Off a cliff.”
  45. >With that, Gilda turned around to storm off into the crowd, leaving you all standing there with more questions than answers.
  46. >After your rude reintroduction with Rainbow Dash’s old friend, you wandered around town, trying your best to get some information from any of the locals.
  47. >But true to Gilda’s word, not a single one of them wanted anything to do with you.
  48. >Soon enough, both Rarity and Rainbow Dash were at their wits end, and were ready to give up on helping the town.
  49. >”There’s no point to this! Everypony here is a jerk, let’s just forget it and leave already!”
  50. >”Twilight, I have to say we are simply not making any progress here. Are you sure this is worth the effort?”
  51. “I know it’s frustrating, girls, but we can’t give up! No matter what, friendship will prevail!”
  52. >As you passed by a saloon on your left, the swinging doors burst open, and out flying came a big diamond dog.
  53. >Startled, you flinched back, and Rarity cried out as he skidded across the boardwalk in front of her, falling face first into the street.
  54. >”Hey! What’s the big idea?!” Rainbow Dash yelled, standing closer to Rarity.
  55. >The big diamond dog pulled himself onto all fours. He spat out a glob of blood and some brown muck onto the ground, when the saloon doors opened more gently and a large Griffon came out.
  56. >The Griffon wore more clothing than most typically did, a white shirt and a leather vest, gray trousers, and a dark black stetson.
  57. >Strangely, he stood upright on his hind paws, and walked that way as well. In a very dignified, deliberate manner, he stepped off the boardwalk, towering over you as he passed by.
  58. >You could see that pinned to his vest was a simple gold star.
  59. >Stopping just a few paces from the dog, he looked down at him, and waited. You watched as six other diamond dogs pushed outside of the saloon and onto the boardwalk.
  60. >The Griffon didn’t seem to be facing them, but you could see that he turned ever so slightly so that he could look at both the dog on the street and the ones on the boardwalk.
  61. >The dog had gotten back onto his paws. He was a bit fat, with long arms and big, meaty fists. His bloodied muzzle was caked in dirt and straw from the street.
  62. >”Damn you, Sheriff,” he said. “You don’t got no business hitting me like that.”
  63. >”Time to come with me now, Duke,” The Sheriff said. “‘Till you cool down.”
  64. >His voice was surprisingly quiet, like the rumble of a far off summer storm.
  65. >You could only see his slightly cracked beak under the shadow of his hat.
  66. >”Not going with nobody for nothing. That bird chote me out of my damn bits! I thought you killed thieves?”
  67. >”Duke, don’t you go all in with yer pay if you jes’ gonna swell up like a poisoned pup for it afterward. No one cheated nobody.”
  68. >”Don’t you rag on me now, Sheriff. Next time I see that chicken, I’m gonna gut him myself!”
  69. >”No.”
  70. >The Sheriff had not raised his voice, but something powerful was imbued in that single word that made it crackle and spark like lightning.
  71. >Duke seemed to be almost physically struck by it, swaying off to the left before steadying himself. He looked over to the group of diamond dogs on the boardwalk, who all cried out their support for him.
  72. >”We’re with you on this, Duke,” a dog said.
  73. >”Don’t let him cheat you!” Another yelled.
  74. >Duke looked back to the Sheriff, confidence filling his breast once more.
  75. >”I’m not coming with you.”
  76. >The Sheriff was silent.
  77. >Nopony moved. The mountain wind drifted through the street, kicking up tiny swirls of hay and dust.
  78. >There was a physical, suffocating force to his motionless silence. It pressed down upon everypony present, as if there wasn’t anything you could do but stay quiet and watch the conflict unfold.
  79. > Despite that, you knew that if nopony else would, you had to say something to stop it.
  80. “Wait! Everypony just—!”
  81. >Your voice keeled over and died in your throat, as the Sheriff turned his attention onto you for just a second.
  82. >His eyes bore into you, electric blue and cold as ice. An old, deep scar ran down the right eye, its pigment a lighter and duller shade.
  83. >An alarm blared in the back of your brain, and an almost primal, instinctual feeling of dread sunk deep into the pit of your stomach.
  84. >You were no victim to superstition, but something, somewhere deep down inside the forgotten crevices of your subconscious whispered to you.
  85. >Killer.
  86. >Again, the silence arched over you, the sound of the easy mountain breeze sending shivers down your withers.
  87. >”Fuck you, Sheriff.”
  88. >Duke lunged for him. Though the Sheriff seemed in no hurry to react to Duke.
  89. >As if time itself slowed down for him, carefully and smoothly, he drew a strange tool from his belt.
  90. >It’s smooth, polished silver gleamed in the sunlight. He held the tool by a wooden grip with a single, large claw.
  91. >A narrow, long tube extended several inches from the body of it. The main body held a drum-like cylinder.
  92. >His talon rested on trigger as he engaged a small lever, aimed it at the middle of Duke’s big torso, and pulled the trigger.
  93. >A sudden, sharp explosion sent a bright flash of flame, and thunder clapped like lightning struck down from the heavens above.
  94. >Duke stopped in his tracks, stumbled for a second, and then sagged over onto the street with a thud.
  95. >The Sheriff clicked back the lever, resetting some mechanism as he turned over so that the silver weapon was pointed at Duke’s supporters on the boardwalk.
  96. > A slender tongue of smoke billowed from the barrel, like the nostril of an angry dragon.
  97. >”You all go about your business now.”
  98. >Nopony moved.
  99. >”I won’t tell you again,” the Sheriff promised.
  100. >The dog on the far right of the group shied back and froze, as Duke’s body made a sort of involuntary twitch, and breathed out a long eerie rattle.
  101. >Everything teetered. One dog broke and walked away, with the rest of the group following suit.
  102. >The Sheriff watched them walk away for a few seconds, before carefully resetting the small lever on the weapon. He opened the cylinder, extracting a small metal shell of some sort, put in a new one from his belt, closed the cylinder, and then carefully put the weapon back into its sheathe on his belt.
  103. >He dropped down onto four limbs, loaded Duke’s body onto his back, and went on his way without sparing a glance at the frozen crowd.
  104. >Then, life began to breathe back into the crowd, nary a mournful, or even slightly glum feeling as they slowly went along their business.
  105. >Some began to loudly condemn Duke, diamond dogs, or foreigners in general. Some lamented their own poor luck in card games, others simply chose not to comment at all and resumed past conversations.
  106. >And although none of the Griffons said it aloud, you could it see it plainly in the slight puff of plumage or poorly hidden smile.
  107. >They took pride in what he’d done.
  108. >”My word,” Rarity whispered, slowly unthawing from her spot on the boardwalk, and her eyes from the Sheriff’s departing figure.
  109. >”How utterly barbaric,” she said, lifting a hoof before her lips.
  110. >”Why didn’t anypony try to stop that—that violent, uncivil brute?!”
  111. >”I think he’s stopped for good, after what the Sheriff’s done to him,” Rainbow Dash said beside her, keeping watch on the saloon Duke came crashing out of.
  112. >”I was referring to him! Not the one who was so mercilessly struck down in broad daylight!”
  113. >”We don’t know what happened! Plus, the dog said he was going to hurt somepony!”
  114. >Rarity opened and shut her mouth with a soft clack, like a fish desperately gasping for water.
  115. >”Am I the only mare here who hasn’t gone mad? Twilight, surely you must see how absurd she’s being? We all clearly saw what’s happened here,” she said, turning to you and painting an accusing hoof at Rainbow Dash.
  116. >You blinked, jolting out of your coat at the sound of your name. Pins and needles tingled up and down your legs, as you moved in what felt like an eternity.
  117. >Duke’s rattling, final sigh permeated every corner of your mind, erasing any and all thoughts it came in contact with. All, except one.
  118. >Why?
  119. >You just couldn’t understand how anypony, or Griffon for that matter, could completely forgo all attempt at peaceful resolution, at diplomacy, at friendship, in favor of senseless violence.
  120. “Regardless if Duke was…hurt, or not, what the Sheriff did was wrong. We need to speak with him, and make sure this never happens again.”
  121. >You took in a deep, steadying breath, and looked them in the eye.
  122. “This is one serious friendship problem, girls. We can’t be fighting amongst ourselves. I’m counting on you two, alright?”
  123. >”Of course, we would be lost without you, darling.”
  124. >”I’ve got your back, Twilight, let’s do this,” Rainbow Dash said, kicking up straw and dust as she began to take flight.
  125.  
  126. …
  127.  
  128. >Surely, no pony was ever meant to live on a mountain.
  129. >The wooden path to the Sheriff’s office creaked and moaned under your hooves, its hemp guard rails swinging in the wind.
  130. >You wheezed, breath congealing into white puffs in the cold mountain air.
  131. >Rarity’s fluffy coat and luxurious scarf swayed sumptuously before you, taunting your own pitiable fur cap.
  132. >You’d think being an Alicorn would grant you the Pegasi’s natural tolerance for high altitudes.
  133. >But your family’s history with glandular issues and your slow metabolism and plus your Princess Duties leave you so swamped with work that you unfortunately just can’t manage fit exercise anywhere in your schedule, unfortunately.
  134. >And it’s not YOUR fault The Hay Burger’s 5 bit deal for two hayburgers, value onion rings, and a small milkshake is so affordable and delicious!
  135. >”Are we sure this is an office? How dreary…”
  136. >You shook your head and craned your neck up at the ‘office’, its long, dark shadow looming over you.
  137. >The ashen, stout stump was scarred with a litany of small repairs to its body, and long slivers of white ran through the gray giant.
  138. >You traced them all the way up to the top, where wooden boards scabbed over its most prominent scar: a gaping gash ripped deep into its right.
  139. >It sort of reminded you of the Golden Oak, if it was a menacing fortress, instead of a quaint, cozy library.
  140. >But, sure enough, there was a wooden sign above the door reading, “Sheriff”.
  141. >”Hey Twilight, it’s your favorite: boring legal mumbo jumbo!” Rainbow Dash said, pointing out a sheet of paper posted beside the ‘office’ door.
  142. >You trotted over to her, scanning what appeared to be a set of town bylaws.
  143. >As far as legal documents went, this was rather simple in language, most likely to the benefit of the less educated.
  144. >You frowned, reading the tight script over again to make sure you hadn’t missed anything.
  145. >The laws were downright draconian, and if you distilled the document down to its spirit, it essentially said what the Sheriff said was law.
  146. >You copied it down with a flash of magic, enveloping the high-up door handle with your purple telekinetic grip.
  147. >The huge door creaked open to a dimly lit room.
  148. >An oil lamp on the back wall held a small, flickering flame.
  149. >It’s light shied away from the Sheriff’s hat, hanging solemnly beside a door.
  150. >A large desk sat in the middle of the room, a pile of documents roosting atop it.
  151. >”What’s a butt-cher shop?” Rainbow Dash asked above you, surveying the papers.
  152. >You wracked your brain for the term, trying, and failing to catch a glimpse of the documents on your tippy hooves.
  153. >You felt your heart leap into your throat when you heard jingling behind the door and the handle jostling.
  154. >It opened, and the Sheriff emerged from the darkness.
  155. >Rainbow Dash squawked, zipping up and bashing her head on the ceiling, and then crashed down onto Rarity in a heap.
  156. >Rarity cried out, her long scarf twisting the two together in a terrible tangle of terror.
  157. >The Sheriff loomed in the doorway, cutting his eyes from you, to Rarity and Rainbow Dash, as they finally managed to pry off each other and scramble back onto their hooves.
  158. >He dragged out his chair, slowly sunk into it with a grunt, and popped a wooden pipe into his beak.
  159. >”Lord…” he said, striking a match against the inside of his claw.
  160. >He sighed, coils of smoke escaping from his beak, and fixed a heavy, blue gaze onto the ceiling.
  161. >”Yer a comedian.”

Of Beaks and Bullets

by Kiyote