Woodworking Colt's Revenge by Pan


                                            Woodworking Colt's Revenge by Pan


                                            https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41694392/#41713513


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                                            >You are a woodworking apprentice

                                            >At work

                                            >Working

                                            >With wood

                                            >You hear the door chime

                                            >It's the parents of the two biggest bullies in your school

                                            >And their little brats are here too

                                            "Two paddles, please."

                                            >The bullies look you in the eye

                                            >Pleading expressions on their faces

                                            >You put on your customer service voice

                                            "Of course. We will have them ready tomorrow."

                                            >The bullies' eyes go wide

                                            >One mom-mare responds

                                            "Tomorrow? Wow, that's great customer service!"

                                            "Yes ma'am, the owner automatically expedites spanking paddles. Clearly they are needed urgently."


                                            >You lay it on thick

                                            >The bullies cringe

                                            >For once you have power over them

                                            >And they are not your customers, the parents are

                                            "Do you want a certain design? Or just what we recommend?"

                                            "Well, you are the experts. (chuckle) Standard issue is fine for Tula."

                                            "They've got rumps like any other foal. Whatever you think is best."

                                            >They took the bait


                                            "Thank you. They should be ready tomorrow evening. Be sure to bring your foals with you so they may test them out."

                                            "Mommy, will you--"

                                            >He is cut off with a pat on the bum and a stern tone

                                            "Simmer down, Quick. The grown-ups are talking."

                                            >Are you a grown-up? Does working here give you that status by default?

                                            "Good idea. And do we pay now, or...?"

                                            "You can-- excuse me,"

                                            >Your master tells you to use business language

                                            "You may pay when you see that the paddles are to you and your foals' satisfaction."

                                            >You have a pleasant expression, but inside you're giggling like a yearling

                                            >Yep, those bullies will be "satisfied" with their paddles

                                            >You cannot believe how well this is working

                                            "Thank you, have a nice day."


                                            >The chimes make sweet music and you gallop off to tell your master the great-- you mean, normal news

                                            >He looks up from the chair he is assembling when you enter the workshop at the rear of the store

                                            "Master Taproot, we have an order for two paddles."

                                            "Eh? Who are the unlucky brats this time?"

                                            "Tula Tulip and Quick Zip."

                                            "Don't know 'em. Let's hope they don't need a paddling often."

                                            "Frankly, sir, they had this coming for a long time."

                                            "What foal hasn't? You had yours coming you know."

                                            >Your ears flutter and you remember making the paddle that now hangs just inside your house

                                            >Not only do your parents and foalsitter paddle your rear-end, your master sees fit to punish you for your rare monumental screw-ups

                                            >He uses whatever paddle the two of you recently finished

                                            >You make enough spanking paddles, and screw up rarely enough, that he always has one at hoof to swat your tush

                                            "Point taken, Master Taproot. As for the design, both foals are about my size. Quick Zip is a little bigger. So, number 4 by number 2, and number 5 by number 3 should do it."

                                            "Good work. You are a fast learner. They didn't ask for anything special? Come to think of it, who commissioned these? Surely the little ones didn't *ask* to be spanked."

                                            "They were here with their parents. No sir, I don't think they will like what we make."

                                            (Snort) "That's what I like to hear."


                                            "May I make a suggestion, Master?"

                                            "Yes boy."

                                            "I think the foals will be more... successful with ebony. And a 3 by 1 hole pattern."

                                            "Not the most common choice. What makes you say that?"

                                            "Well........."

                                            >Your voice loses some confidence

                                            "Ebony is a hard wood. It's very sturdy. A paddle with repeated impacts should still do its job the hundredth time."

                                            "Correct. And the holes?"

                                            >He has you there

                                            "You see.... it's within your designs. You add holes upon request, if the caretaker is weaker, or if they want it to hurt more."

                                            "Do your suggestions, by any chance, have anything to do with that last piece? You have some kind of feud with them."

                                            "Master, it's justified."

                                            "That would be a yes."

                                            >You kick yourself

                                            >You should have never suggested something so silly

                                            "What exactly did these foals do?"

                                            "Tula Tulip and Quick Zip are the biggest bullies in the school! They call ponies names, mug ponies for the sugarcubes out of their lunch bags, eat the leaves off the teacher's garden so it wilts and dies, and even make fun of the disabled foal!"

                                            >You pause and give the real reason

                                            "And they make fun of my rump every time I get punished."


                                            >Master Taproot laughs

                                            "You're saying I have a professional reason to see these foals paddled. And for you, it's personal."

                                            "Yessir," >you nod

                                            "Here's what we can do. You can be sure I have no qualms with making a paddle for any foal. You have butts for a reason."

                                            >He continues as you curl a tail 'round your rump

                                            "These troublemakers are bad news. I would be glad to make the meanest, nastiest paddle for their behinds. And I hope it is used often enough to resolve those issues you mentioned. I will have a word with your teacher and those foals' parents, privately."

                                            "Master Taproot, thank you."

                                            >You can't help but smile

                                            >Your master notices

                                            "I pray you are not taking satisfaction in this, child."

                                            "I try not to, sir, but they have been a pain in my flank for too long. I can't help it."

                                            "Very well. It's lesson time for you, also. Ebony is a hard wood, yes. It makes excellent heirloom-quality paddles. But it is also very expensive. Its hardness makes it hard to work with. It's so hard that we might want to consider removing holes from the design here. ... Don't look so disappointed. Follow me."


                                            >He leads you to a dusty corner where he stores less-used woods

                                            "We're going to make two black locust spanking paddles."

                                            "Black locust?"

                                            "It is extremely common in Equestria, and very rare in woodworking."

                                            "Common but... rare?"

                                            >Your head tilts

                                            "How is that possible, Master?"

                                            "It grows everywhere. Grows where you don't want it to grow. Has nasty thorns that make it a project and a half to cut down. It's an invasive species. Can't even eat it. You can barely give it away."

                                            "Still, though. Free lumber? Why not make your whole business black locust?"

                                            "It doesn't grow right. However it's supposed to grow, the bugs that grow inside it don't help. It spreads like fire when it's young, but it rarely grows big or straight. The widest piece you could make with its wood is, oh, 'bout two feet. No good for tables but perfect for..."

                                            "A paddle! Great idea, teacher!"

                                            "Exactly. And it's softer than ebony, though still very hard. We can drill holes in this. And just to be sure... you want a mean, rump-scorching paddle?"

                                            "Yes master."

                                            "Then a rump-scorcher is what we will make. Take notes on the draftspaper."

                                            >You spread out a new roll of tracing paper

                                            "Ready."

                                            "Paddle 1. 4 by 2 by 3/4ths. 3 holes size 3."

                                            "Paddle 2."

                                            >You tear out a new sheet

                                            "5 by 3 by 3/4ths. 4 holes size 3.5."

                                            "Got it, sir."

                                            "Thanks. Draw those up and we'll get them cut tonight so they can cure."

                                            >Master leaves you to your task, literally scheming how to make the paddles that will spank the backsides of your worst enemies

                                            >You can almost taste their tears


                                            >Later that night, you hoof the designs to Master Taproot

                                            >You still aren't allowed to cut with any of the hoof-pedal tools

                                            >And the paddles are too short for you to cut at your level of experience

                                            "Kid, this is a learning opportunity."

                                            >He takes the two paddle roughs to the hoof-crank wood auger

                                            "Try making smaller holes than the spec with this. Go one size smaller than what I said. I'll drill them out after you, so if you make a mistake it's not a huge problem. You might get a swat with your hoofiwork however."

                                            "Sure thing."

                                            >You follow your design and cut holes in the paddles with your master watching and giving advice

                                            "Good work. I'll just finish these up. No flank-swatting today."

                                            >He winks

                                            "That's enough work for one day, head on home, kid."


                                            >The next day is pretty simple

                                            >You have, unfortunately, helped on your share of paddles

                                            >These aren't much different, except they are harder to sand due to their hardness

                                            >They have an odd pattern and a bit of a smell, which your master says will go away soon

                                            >When the two of you are all done, you hang up the tushie-torturers in the "finished merchandise" section of the shop

                                            >The paddles soon leave your mind as you help your master work on two chairs and a small ladder


                                            >Evening rolls around

                                            "Little guy, I need you for a second."

                                            >You trot over to this side of the showfloor

                                            "Brace yourself."

                                            "For what?"

                                            >You look back and see one of the new paddles in Master Taproot's hoof

                                            "Look straight ahead and tail to the side."

                                            "Please Master, Sir, we all know what paddles feel like."

                                            "We can't sell a paddle we haven't tested. And you are the right age where this can do some good."

                                            >He taps your bum

                                            >You groan and lift your tail

                                            CRAAAAACK!

                                            SWAAAAT!

                                            WHAAAACK!

                                            "OOOOOOOW!"

                                            >Those are the three hardest spanks you've EVER had

                                            >You yelp and cry and rub your behind

                                            "Hooves down kid, we have one more to test."

                                            >Your rump hurts too much to argue

                                            CRAKOOOOOOOOOOW!

                                            POPPPPPPPPPPPP!

                                            SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

                                            >These feel even worse on an already tender rear end

                                            >You rub the daylights out of what is left of your bottom

                                            "Did you have to hit that hard?"

                                            >You whine

                                            >You are seeing stars, you actually lie down to take weight off your back legs

                                            "Yes I did. You still want those foals to get hit with that?"

                                            "Yes sir."

                                            "Even after feeling how much it hurts, they deserve it."

                                            "Honor. You're talking about honor. Any jack can sell a paddle. Honor is knowing how it feels."

                                            >You feel welts raise off your rump

                                            >You will sleep on your stomach tonight

                                            >And be quite squirmy in school tomorrow

                                            "Though they may be wayward, you were taking an awful lot of glee in these ponies' misfortune. You asked for a mean, rump-scorching paddle, and that's exactly what you got."


                                            >Soon, with your butt still burning, the door chimes

                                            >Mr. Tulip and Mrs. Zip enter

                                            >Tula Tulip follows behind

                                            >Walking on shaky hooves but being a good filly

                                            >Mrs. Zip unceremoniously plops Quick Zip on the ground

                                            >He had to be scruffed just to come here

                                            >They look like they are about to be executed

                                            >Yesterday they looked scared

                                            >Today their faces show sickness

                                            >Here it is

                                            >Payback time

                                            >Other than your warm flanks, this is perfect


                                            "Mrs. Zip and Mr. Tulip. Welcome, we finished the paddles--"

                                            >the foals' ears flutter

                                            "--for your little ones. One moment."

                                            >You turn to summon your master.

                                            >There is a small nicker from behind

                                            >Not from your bullies, but Mr. Tulip

                                            >He quickly stops, as if realizing what he is doing

                                            >You suppose that was inevitable

                                            >You nonchalantly drape your tail over your marked-up backside while you trot to the back room


                                            "The parents are here, Sir."

                                            "Perfect timing."

                                            >He leads the way and you return to the customer area

                                            >You notice that the two foals have eyes as big as saucers

                                            >They found the paddles and are transfixed in terror staring at that spot on the wall

                                            "Welcome, Ms. Zip and Mr. Tulip. You are going to love what me and my apprentice came up with. Boy, go fetch them."

                                            >You do as you're told, trying to make your tail hug your rump

                                            >You can only grab one at a time

                                            >(otherwise they clunk into each other, which can damage wood)

                                            >But it's a short trot and soon both planks are on the counter by the register

                                            "...They are durability enchanted. They will last at least until they outgrow them. For their bottoms' sake, I hope that time is soon."

                                            "Why is Quick's bigger?"

                                            "Larger rumps need larger paddles to correct them."

                                            >Quick Zip squints and turns his head, trying to see his larger butt

                                            Mr. Tulip asks:

                                            "They do look quite sturdy. Did you use them on your assistant? What did he do?"

                                            >Now it's your turn to cringe

                                            "Oh, nothing really. Any woodworker worth a salt lick won't sell an untested paddle. So he's my test rump... sometimes he even deserves it."

                                            >Master Taproot winks at you

                                            "So thanks to him, 25 bits and you and your little ponies can be on your way home to inaugurate your new paddles!"

                                            Mrs. Zip is confused:

                                            "Don't we test them here?"

                                            You intercept--

                                            "Yes ma'am. Just to make sure the paddles are to you and your foals' complete satisfaction."

                                            >You forgot what you told her yesterday until now

                                            >You look at your Master to cover for you, begging with your eyes

                                            >He pauses for a moment, and nods in amusement

                                            "Almost forgot. My apprentice will guide you."

                                            >As if to say, 'you got what you want: now what?'

                                            "Ahem."


                                            >You think for a moment

                                            >And act like you've done this a hundred times.

                                            "Who would like to go first?"

                                            >Neither foal jumps at the opportunity.

                                            "Quick'll go first. It would be nice to not carry him back home, maybe a sore rear'll do that."

                                            "Mommy, please, I'll be good--"

                                            (SMACK!)

                                            "HUSH, quick."

                                            >Tula straightens up at the corrective swat even when it wasn't her own rump in pain

                                            >She's focusing intently on Mrs. Quick

                                            "You had your chance. Listen to the nice colt or it will be worse for you."

                                            "Yes mommy..."

                                            "Okay, Mr. Tulip and Tula, stand over here for a second and watch."

                                            >You lead them away


                                            "You need to... um... make sure the pony you're spanking isn't going to move."

                                            "They need to stand in a way that keeps them firmly on the ground, with rump raised. Here, follow my lead."

                                            >You walk to Quick Zip's front legs and tap his elbows, signaling Quick to bend his legs

                                            >He complies... eyes closed

                                            >This is great

                                            >You have your bullies at your beck and call

                                            "And the back legs are the opposite, you want the rear legs secure and tall. Put your legs closer together."

                                            >Quick shimmies his legs together

                                            "Like that?"

                                            "That looks pretty good to me. Master Taproot, can you come over and check my work?"

                                            >Your teacher had just been watching up to this point, but he stops zoning out and trots to you and the other colt

                                            "This will do. Just raise your tail and you are ready to be spanked. Would you like me to take it from here, apprentice? Though we both have a LOT of spanking experience, your knowledge is on the other side of the paddle."

                                            >All the grown ups chuckle at that remark

                                            >Gaining confidence, you reply:

                                            "Almost, Sir. I have an idea. Tula and Mr. Tulip, we can teach you simultaneously with Quick Zip and Mrs. Zip. You all will learn from each other."

                                            "Always an efficient worker. That's why I hired him."

                                            >Tula walks over, somewhat gawking at your classmate's unprotected behind

                                            >You show the father and daughter

                                            "Do the same thing, but a few feet--"

                                            (CRACK!)

                                            "HOLD STILL! Nopony said you could move!"

                                            >You roll your eyes

                                            >That Quick Zip is being so dramatic

                                            "A few feet away so you don't hit each other."

                                            >Mr. Tulip makes a joke to break the tension

                                            "Yep, paddles should hit rumps and only rumps. And only MISBEHAVING ones at that."

                                            >He glares at his filly

                                            >She looks down at the ground

                                            >You show Tula what to do

                                            >You're embarrassed because she's a GIRL

                                            >Even if she is a bully

                                            >She does what you tell her, though

                                            >Must be scared to death of what that paddle will do to her

                                            >You get done with Tula Tulip's front legs and are too blushy to properly guide her rear-end into position

                                            "Master, could you t-take over?"


                                            >Your master is a pro

                                            >You hope someday you will learn all the spanking tips he knows

                                            >Both foals are quivering under his instruction

                                            >And they haven't even been paddled yet!

                                            >One at a time, he takes the tool and shows where and how to spank

                                            >He pats each area he discusses with the paddle

                                            "Under the tail all the way down to the upper thighs is safe."

                                            Have you two ever been spanked?"

                                            "Yeeep."

                                            "Not me, no. I was a good colt growing up."

                                            "It's pretty simple. It's the oldest punishment for a reason. We spank because it's very hard to cause permanent damage to a backside just by spanking it. Each time you spank, it should be hard. Hard enough to feel it real good. Butts are full of muscle. So when you spank, the muscle absorbs it and sends a pain signal to the brain. It says 'Hey! Don't do that!'"

                                            "For these paddles, try several hard swats. A spanking is done when you see genuine tears and deep redness on the tush. Not when your foal wants it to be done. That's when they're learning, not when to end it."

                                            "Mrs. Quick, you might not realize -- you don't *need* an implement to spank a rump. You know why we make them?"

                                            "Why?"

                                            >Your master smiles

                                            "Sore hooves."


                                            "You two are ready. Are your foals ready?"

                                            (gulp) "Ready" "ready"

                                            "Give 'em a test swat, full strength so we know they work."

                                            POPPPPPPPPPPPP!

                                            SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

                                            "YOOOOOOOOOOW!"

                                            "WAAAAAAAAH!"

                                            >Yes, they work

                                            "Looks like they work perfectly. ... Yeeep, there's the rectangles so you know a job well done. ... Mrs. Zip, I have a request."

                                            "Yes, Mr. Taproot?"

                                            "If there's one thing I can't abide, it's colts disrespecting their mothers. I was raised by a single mother and it tears me up inside seeing any colt reject a mother's love. ... I see you have a feisty one. Barely listening to you the whole time. May I make a suggestion?"

                                            "Hmm... what is it?"

                                            "Give him another swat for the road. You're going to be carrying that paddle and a sore bum could make it so you don't have to chase after him. Tula, on the other hoof, you've been a good filly. Your paddle must have "good girl" magic along with the durability spell."

                                            >Tula blushes

                                            "You can get up, Tula. Your lesson is over. Now your father knows how to use that paddle, so what happens when you get home is between you and your parents."

                                            >Master Taproot collects payment from Mr. Tulip

                                            >Quick Zip is rooted to the spot

                                            >Not daring to move

                                            >His mother is behind him,

                                            >turning over his paddle in her hooves

                                            >Finally:

                                            "Hold still, Quickie"

                                            WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

                                            "OW OW OW OW OW! Ow-how-auwwwww!"


                                            "Get up, Quick."

                                            >The former bully shoots up and hops around, frantically rubbing his fanny

                                            >While he's near tears, his mom buys the paddle

                                            "This might just be the best investment I've ever made."

                                            "Investing in your foals is always worth it. Bring it back with Quick if you need any adjustments."

                                            >Master gives you a look...

                                            "C'mon Quick Zip."

                                            >Quick Zip lives up to his name and is right behind his mom-mare

                                            >Two rectangles on his rump explaining exactly why

                                            END