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Low quality KinderSCPs I wrote while sleep deprived

By SymphonyAnon
Created: 2025-10-22 16:58:22
Updated: 2025-10-22 17:27:24
Expiry: Never
/kinder/scpkinderquestriakinder

  1. 1.
    SCP - 1313
  2. 2.
    In some uwu-ized corners of the internet, 1313 is a cutesy emote for that whole eyebrow wiggle thing. Hence this shit.
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    ----------------------------------------
  4. 4.
    >SCP 1314 minus 1
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    >Object class: Euclid
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    REDACTED, PLEASE INPUT SNOWPITY VERIFICATION
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    >...
  8. 8.
    CONFIRMED
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    THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS A KNOWN PSYCHOHAZARD AND MEMETIC AGENT, PLEASE INPUT MEMETIC AGENT INOCULATION DATA
  10. 10.
    >...
  11. 11.
    CONFIRMED
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    Continue:
  13. 13.
     
  14. 14.
    >Description:
  15. 15.
    >SCP 1314 minus 1, or SCP 1313 as it'll be referred to henceforth, is a memetic agent capable of spreading through written text.
  16. 16.
    >Ponies that see the characters 1313 used in a cutesy way will find themselves unable to stop wriggling their eyebrows for hours at a time, stopping only due to muscle fatigue.
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    >First instance of SCP 1313 was identified on the forbidden book "The Ponynomicon, 100 PARTY TRICKS FOR FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!!!", discovered accidentally by the Cutie M[REDACTED].
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    >Of note is that the pony who first writes the 1313 character is immune to their own instance of SCP 1313.
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    >Containment Procedure:
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    >Due to its specific trigger condition being the use of the numbers 1313 in a cutesy way, stopping ponies from doing so is enough. Inter-city letter delivery must pass through an automated SCP 1313 detector, and affected letters must be magically modified by inoculated personnel to remove the numbers.
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    >Infected ponies may be given temporary relief by administration of a paralytic ointment on their eyebrows (side effects of being unable to blink are known and to be expected).
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    >Beer-class amnestics are enough to erase the memory of the memetic agent.
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    >Notice: Log name changed from SCP 1313 to SCP 1314 minus 1 after it was discovered that recovered patients now always saw the numbers 1313 as cutesy, unless properly inoculated.
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    >Notice 2: The anomalous properties of the 1313 characters can be triggered by conjunction with a more cutesy non-anomalous set of characters, such as "1313 :3". This property has been weaponized by Group of Interest "Marebrow Wiggles are HOT" and used in several terrorist attacks on canterlot walls, area wide Beer-class amnestics deployers have been installed in critical areas.
  27. 27.
    >Notice 3 hey is thsi thing on hey hlelo there this is one of the many anonfillies from that one group you menioned i heard you guys got the marebrow wiggles can i get a video we like that thing its hot like unf i love me some marebrow wiggles man i'm over here wriggling my eyebrows i got lotion on my eyebrows right now i'm just wriggling my eyebrows i'm eyebrowy as buck mare i'm a freak mare tell my ziga twily sparkl that i'll be waiting for here marebrow wiggles tonite unf that purple flank and purple eyebrows make me UNF
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    >Notice 4: Despite several attempts at removing Notice 3, it has been anomalously anchored to this document, O5-1 TS has been notified.
  29. 29.
    >Notice 5: Immediately after notification, O5-1 TS blushed as red as a tomato and had an instance of SCP-533 (Steam bursting from her ears).
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  31. 31.
    SCP-512
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    ------------------------------------
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    >SCP-512: The Sneezebags
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    >Object Class: Safe
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    >Containment procedure:SCP-512 must be kept within Chief of Foundation Research and SCP-063 Anonymous' basement. Anon is allowed free access to SCP-512 with the intent to scoop up small portions of SCP-512's contents for personal use.
  36. 36.
    >Description:
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    >SCP-512 are two an extra large cloth bag filled, one small black pellets, hereto referred as SCP-512-1, and one filled with fine black powder.
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    >SCP-512 measures 1.2 Celestias tall, and 2 celestias wide and long, while SCP-512-1 are all regularly shaped spheroids, measuring around 1 cherry pit in all dimensions(1).
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    >Through use of a specialized device (SCP-512-2), the black pellets can be ground into either a chunky powder or an extra fine powder, identical in composition to the fine powder in the other bag. According to O5-2, these are two different states of the compound known as "Pepper".
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    >Ponies are advised to NOT inhale these powders, lest they find themselves unable to stop sneezing (see Incident Report)
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    >Careful dosage of SCP-512-1 has been shown to reduce Alpha and Beta tier tummy-aches to the more manageable Delta tier, which can be relieved with basic first aid magic.
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    >Anomalous anti-Plague effects have been identified as well, with D-class test subjects that were previously exposed to The Plague(2) presenting an accelerated recovery process after consumption of SCP-512-1.
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    >Dosage on salads and assorted foodstuffs must be done by a trained professional (currently only Anonymous applies). Excessive consumption of SCP-512's powder will cause the [REDACTED].
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    >An experimental agricultural project was suggested by Anon and approved by Head of Botany Applejack. Small scale "pepper" farming has been undergoing, with surprisingly good results. A request by Head of Security Rainbow Dash to start development of weaponized "pepper" sprayers for riot control was approved but hasn't seen fruit yet.
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  46. 46.
    >Incident Report:
  47. 47.
    >Soon after discovery of SCP-512, field agent and close friend of Anon, Pinkamena "Pinkie" Pie, meandered into Anon's basement, upon which she discovered the bags, opened the powder one curiously and accidentally inhaled the powder.
  48. 48.
    >This caused agent Pinkamena to sneeze and instinctively breathe in again, which led to a Class 4 Sneeze-feedback stopped only by Anon's direct intervention. (3).
  49. 49.
    >Agent Pinkamena may not enter O5-2's basement anymore, under threat of Ethanol-class Amnestics as punishment (as requested by Anon) (4).
  50. 50.
     
  51. 51.
    >Notes by Anon:
  52. 52.
    >(1): It's two 50 kilo bags of black pepper, one finely grounded, one regular, will probably last until I die of old age.
  53. 53.
    >(2): I.e: A cold, the common cold. It's the plague here.
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    >(3): Apparently black pepper is to ponies what tear gas is to us, gotta be careful with this. Love me some pepper though.
  55. 55.
    >(4): Goddamn it Pinkie, that was a good kilo of pepper you sneezed, I'm still mad about it.

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