A Rump Worthy of the Gods (Part I)


                                            >"Arrg! This is so annoying!"

                                            >"What's up Twilight?"

                                            >"Well Rainbow, lately any time I get into conversation with ponies, or even just greet them on street, they won't look me in the face."

                                            >"Really?"

                                            >"Yeah, they just stare at my wings. I know being an alicorn is special, but you'd think that everypony would have gotten used to it by now!"

                                            >"Uhh, is this EVERY pony?"

                                            >"Hmm, now that you mention it- it does seem to happen more often with stallions. Oh no! Could it be that they feel intimidated by the fact that I'm royalty now?"

                                            >"I... don't think that's it Twi."

                                            >"What then?"

                                            >"Here, walk over to that waiter and ask him for some more napkins."

                                            >"Why?"

                                            >"Just do it, ok?"

                                            >"Alright, alright..."

                                            ...

                                            >"See, Rainbow? That colt was staring at my wings too. He barely even acknowledged me when I asked for those napkins."

                                            >"Um, I hate to break it to you, but he wasn't staring at your wings."

                                            >"What do mean? What was he looking at then?"

                                            >"He was staring at your rump."

                                            >"Wut?"

                                            >"Your rump, Twilight. All the stallions have been checking out your rump."

                                            >"Bu-but why would they do that? Does it look funny? I know I've put on some weight since I became an alicorn. Do I need to go on a-"

                                            >"Twilight! Have you looked in a mirror lately? You have bigger hips than Applejack and your rear is rounder than Pinkie Pie's! There are literally only three other ponies in Equestria with a better rump than yours and they're all princesses."

                                            >"Oh- oh my... Then- then what about the mares that stare at me?"

                                            >"Eh, they're probably just comparing themselves against you. Mares do get pretty jealous, ya' know? That, or they're gay."

                                            >"Rainbow!"

                                            >"What? I'm just sayin'."

                                            >"I don't think I can handle this. All this attention on my body..."

                                            >"Ahhh, welcome to my life, kid."