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Twilight and Her RIval, Anon, FUCKED at the Gala

By Patch
Created: 2026-01-27 07:55:59
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    Anonymous Sun 11 Jan 2026 10:47:43 No.42946916
  2. 2.
    Anon is Twilight's rival. There was no friendship problem he just showed up, they got into a cartoon dustball fight before he got thrown out of town until his next appearance the following season.
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >rivals since their mid-years at the school for gifted unicorns
  5. 5.
    >constantly tried to one up each other's projects and reports
  6. 6.
    >each time the 'winner' would gloat about it, leading to louder arguments that would always end in the dustball fights
  7. 7.
    >eventually Twilight specialized as Celestia's closest student and Anon would go off into the world to further develop his magic in real world scenarios
  8. 8.
    >fast forward to Ponyville (maybe mid season 2?)
  9. 9.
    >one day a mysterious unicorn draped head to hoof in trinkets and carrying packed saddle bags of parchment arrives claiming to be investing the stories of harmony magic coming from the town
  10. 10.
    >he's led to the Library where Twilight and friends are just coming back from some skirmish into the Everfree or something
  11. 11.
    >the two lock eyes and stare at each other in disbelief
  12. 12.
    "Anon?"
  13. 13.
    "Twlight?"
  14. 14.
    >the rest of the Six look between the two, waiting for either of them to start introducing themselves
  15. 15.
    >AJ is the first ti speak up
  16. 16.
    "Uh, this a friend o' yours, Twi-"
  17. 17.
    >she doesn't even finish the question when the two charge at each other and start brawling like they did in school
  18. 18.
     
  19. 19.
    >"I figured out the Elements of Harmony before you did Anon! Clearly the superior unicorn wins again."
  20. 20.
    "I bet Pinkie Pie helped you do that, which means that claim is debunked."
  21. 21.
    >"Gasp!? How do you know Pinkie Pie?"
  22. 22.
    "How do you think idiot? She's Pinkie Pie. Let me guess, the book was under 'E'."
  23. 23.
    >"N-no!"
  24. 24.
     
  25. 25.
    "Let me guess, your nose is still so deep in those spell books you can only cast 25 of them?"
  26. 26.
    >"Ha. Maybe a while ago when that Trixie came through town, I am now sitting at a respectable 50, so again, Ha."
  27. 27.
    "50 spells!? That's not bad for a brown-nosing, tome hogging unicorn. Meanwhile I am sitting at 51."
  28. 28.
     
  29. 29.
    >"Jerk"
  30. 30.
    "Teacher's pet"
  31. 31.
    >"..Bully!"
  32. 32.
    "Goody four shoes!"
  33. 33.
    >"Shut up!"
  34. 34.
    "You shut up!"
  35. 35.
     
  36. 36.
    >remainder of the episode is the girls trying to get these two to stop their fighting
  37. 37.
    >Rainbow and Rarity try to help Twilight learn that having a professional rival doesn't mean having an enemy
  38. 38.
    >AJ, Pink, and Fluttershy try to get Anon to see that just because they had a bad relationship in the past doesn't mean they haven't changed to be able to be friends now
  39. 39.
    >seems like they're making progress
  40. 40.
    >when they meet up again at the end of the day to try and makeup they get one inhale in before lunging at each other
  41. 41.
    >"Dear Princess Celestia," as it pans to the girls watching on in disappointment, "Today I reconnected with an old classmate. He still hits like a girl!"
  42. 42.
     
  43. 43.
    >celestia overhearing twilight and rival!anon arguing for the fifth time today
  44. 44.
     
  45. 45.
    >be celestia
  46. 46.
    >it's the grand galloping gala
  47. 47.
    >you sip on your tea and pretend to be interested in whatever it is that a random noble is babbling about
  48. 48.
    >suddenly there's a crash, the sound of glass breaking and ponies screaming
  49. 49.
    >twilight and anon are fighting
  50. 50.
    >again
  51. 51.
    >what would normally be a figurative horn measuring contest turned into a full-on hoof fight between the two
  52. 52.
    >applejack says that twilight threw the first hoof
  53. 53.
    >you and everypony else watch the two roll around on the floor swearing, pulling manes and name calling
  54. 54.
    >eventually twilight gets anon pinned to the ground while straddling him
  55. 55.
    >the two pant and stare at each other for a minute before furiously kissing each other and hoofing at each other's clothes
  56. 56.
    >you always thought the two should just fuck and get it over with, but you never expected it to happen on the floor in front of everypony during one of the biggest events of the year
  57. 57.
    >you said you wanted something exciting to happen, but you didn't mean this
  58. 58.
     
  59. 59.
    >Be pink
  60. 60.
    >Be tall
  61. 61.
    >Be the loveliest one of all
  62. 62.
    >Yep, you must be Cadance
  63. 63.
    >And right now you're feeling... itchy?
  64. 64.
    >There's a phantom itch somewhere in your horn
  65. 65.
    >You can't quite tell why
  66. 66.
    >It's driving you crazy
  67. 67.
    >Is it some kind of... love sense being triggered?
  68. 68.
    >It feels like love, but not quite
  69. 69.
    >Probe at it with your magic
  70. 70.
    >The feeling pings in your horn
  71. 71.
    >It feels like...
  72. 72.
    >You gasp, then a giddy smile splits your features
  73. 73.
    >Is that Twilight?!
  74. 74.
    >She's found love?!
  75. 75.
    >Probe further
  76. 76.
    >Your mind's eye lets you see the red string of destiny connecting her to her love!
  77. 77.
    >It's a little faint, but it's there
  78. 78.
    >You obviously can't resist knowing who her beau is
  79. 79.
    >Who is the stallion that's captured Twilight's-
  80. 80.
    >It's Anon
  81. 81.
    >You shake your head
  82. 82.
    >It can't be
  83. 83.
    >You have nothing against him personally
  84. 84.
    >But every time you babysat Twilight, Anon would be the first thing she'd rant about
  85. 85.
    >You swear you could've milled wheat into flour in Twilight's mouth with how her teeth used to grind together
  86. 86.
    >You check again; obviously you'd made a mista-
  87. 87.
    >Still Anon
  88. 88.
    >The pulsing, itching feeling intensifies
  89. 89.
    >You come to a concerning conclusion after a few minutes
  90. 90.
    >Okay...
  91. 91.
    >Twilight and Anon are having sex
  92. 92.
    >Right now
  93. 93.
    >Wait, isn't the Grand Galloping Gala supposed to be happening right now?
  94. 94.
    >yfw you read about the aftermath in the next morning's paper
  95. 95.
    >yfw Shiny goes on the warpath after reading about the aftermath in the next morning's paper
  96. 96.
     
  97. 97.
    >be Twilight Sparkle, princess of friendship, national hero, magic prodigy, etc., etc.
  98. 98.
    >now adding newly wed wife to list of titles
  99. 99.
    >the husband? None other than the last pony you'd ever thought, or wanted, to have married just a year ago
  100. 100.
    >Anonymous Cipher, unicorn second rate and near lifelong rival
  101. 101.
    >even now as you're both riding in the regal chariot with a 'Just Married' banner stuck to it (thanks, Pinkie Pie) you still don't know how it came to this
  102. 102.
    >even thinking about him used to make you scoff
  103. 103.
    >talking to him was one of the few things that could send you into a flurry
  104. 104.
    >but now here you are, holding his hoof and red in the face
  105. 105.
    >neither of you can actually look at each other, though. Not since the kiss at the altar
  106. 106.
    "How'd it end up like this?" you finally chime up as the villa you'll be sharing for the next few days comes into view
  107. 107.
    >"Well," Anonymous responds with some thought, "First we met for the first time in years in Ponyville and caught up on a few years of fights we'd missed. Then we met again at the Gala, and... you know."
  108. 108.
    >yep, you knew. As did everyone who was there in the main hall. And then everyone that read the next day's news
  109. 109.
    "Which was you fault, for the record. We wouldn't have made such a scene if you hadn't started that argument about the Elements."
  110. 110.
    >"You threw the first swing."
  111. 111.
    "You kept calling my theories baseless."
  112. 112.
    >"You kept throwing those backhoofed compliments at me."
  113. 113.
    "They were not. You did look good, probably because it was the first time I'd ever seen you without that bed man you always have."
  114. 114.
    >"It is not-!"
  115. 115.
    >by now you were both over your earlier bashfulness and were staring each other down. Very closely, in fact
  116. 116.
    >a few moments looking into each others' eyes and you turn away from each other again, even redder than before
  117. 117.
    >"Anyway," Anon continues, trying to sound unfazed, "then a few days later your brother practically kidnaps me so your babysitter can tell us some nonsense about us being in love and a few months later here we are."
  118. 118.
    >you snort
  119. 119.
    "She's the princess of love, you know. You wouldn't say Princess Celestia speaks nonsense about the sun, would you?"
  120. 120.
    >"--I guess."
  121. 121.
    >you haven't let go of each other's hoof this whole time
  122. 122.
     
  123. 123.
    >you remember how much Cadance had been walking on egg shells when she spoke to you both
  124. 124.
    >if anyone knew how much you couldn't stand Anon it was her
  125. 125.
    >normally when she counsels new couples she's enthusiastic, beaming even
  126. 126.
    >not this time. In fact it was hard for her to even make eye contact with either of you
  127. 127.
    >unlike Shining, who had practically been glaring a hole through Anon the whole time
  128. 128.
    >"-and you'll want to, uh, be open with one another and willing to lean on each other when you need to. Right, Shining?" she said with a nervous laugh
  129. 129.
    >he nodded, at least. Slowly, and without taking his eyes off Anon. You swear you saw him getting ready to charge the guy a few times
  130. 130.
    >Anon was trying to look like his usual listless self but he couldn't hide the bullets he was sweating
  131. 131.
    >"Right. Umm..." she was desperately trying to find a way to get through this tangle of a situation "Oh! And with that I think we can move to the one on one part of the counseling!"
  132. 132.
    >"The what?" You and Shining say in unison
  133. 133.
    >Cadance elbowed Shining with a strained smile
  134. 134.
    >"*oof* I mean- Right, the one on one! You and Twilight take as much time as you need, me and Anonymous here-"
  135. 135.
    >"ACTUALLY," Cadance interrupted, putting herself between Shining and Anon, who was now hiding behind his chair, "I think it's best you and Twilight talk things over in the other room while I help Anonymous."
  136. 136.
    >you and Shining gave each other an unsure look, but relented since it's not like either of you could bring up any real objection to it. Plus she was already pushing you both out the door
  137. 137.
    >"Just be honest about how you feel, Twilight. I'm sure the answer's somewhere deep in your heart."
  138. 138.
    >the last thing you see in the room before the door closes is Anon trying to sneak out of a window and being dragged back to the middle of the room by Cadance's magic
  139. 139.
    >once it was just the two of you it became even more evident how awkward this whole thing was. How do you even approach something like this with your brother?
  140. 140.
    >"Sssoooo," Shining strained to get any well articulated question out. "Was it just, you know, because he's the one you've known the longest?"
  141. 141.
    "No. It was more like, like..."
  142. 142.
    >the memory of Anon looking up at you with those dumb, deep green eyes
  143. 143.
    >wearing that ridiculous gold trimmed cloak that perfectly went with his shade of green
  144. 144.
    >no doubt getting ready to counter your expertly researched points with his own
  145. 145.
    >feeling his chest against yours...
  146. 146.
    >you threw your hooves over your head in frustration
  147. 147.
    "Like I hate how he makes me feel!"
  148. 148.
     
  149. 149.
    >"Feels like even breathing gets harder to do when you think about him?" Shining asked after you've had time to let your outburst settle
  150. 150.
    "Mhm. But now in a way where I can't even just brush it off like I used to. Once I start thinking about him I can't stop until something else snaps me out of it."
  151. 151.
    >Shining puts a hoof on your shoulder "Yeah, that sounds like love at least. But you don't LOVE him love him, right?"
  152. 152.
    "No!.. Maybe? Right now I just want to clobber him for doing this to me."
  153. 153.
    >he scratched the back of his head trying to figure out how to comfort you. It's not like he ever wanted to 'clobber' Cadance
  154. 154.
    >"You sure you want to even try this with him? I can probably throw him in boot camp for a while if you want."
  155. 155.
    >you sigh
  156. 156.
    "No, I'll at least TRY to make this work. If Cadance says it's love," you're never had such a hard time saying that word, "then there has to be something between us. What's the worst that can happen? We can stand being in the same room with each other?"
  157. 157.
    >Shining pats your back and gives you a feint, but supporting smile. He knows he can trust you to figure this out
  158. 158.
     
  159. 159.
    "You still haven't told me what you and Cadance talked about that day, you know."
  160. 160.
    >the carriage had stopped in front of the villa and the maids and butlers had come out to help you both with the luggage you had brought along
  161. 161.
    >"Well that's because I don't want to talk about it."
  162. 162.
    "Not even with your wife?"
  163. 163.
    >it takes a lot of effort to not stumble over your words saying that out loud. Anon was clearly blindsided by that since he now looked like someone had knocked the wind out of him
  164. 164.
    >"Okay, fine. Just don't tell her I told you this, alright?"
  165. 165.
    >what?
  166. 166.
    "What?"
  167. 167.
    >"She's like a professional interrogator! She asked me if I'd cast some spell or blackmailed you since she didn't get how someone she knows you hate had gotten you to do something so 'un-lady like'. Maybe with a bit more colorful language, and with me unable to move. I was afraid I was going to be waterboarded or thrown in a dungeon."
  168. 168.
    "Oh! Really? And you told her you didn't, right? That was on both of us."
  169. 169.
    >"Of course. I told her the truth; It was just another one of our arguments like we'd always had, and by the end of it seeing you there in the light of the hall, wearing the proof you are as good at what you do as you say you are, it made me realize that you're-"
  170. 170.
    >he needs some help finishing that sentence
  171. 171.
    "'Just right for me'?"
  172. 172.
    >"I'm pretty sure I said perfect."
  173. 173.
    >is that a smile forming on your face?
  174. 174.
    >does it look as nervous as the one forming on his face?
  175. 175.
    >you should get inside before you start really spilling the proverbial spaghetti

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