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Multicellular anon in kinderquestria

By SymphonyAnon
Created: 2026-03-09 00:32:17
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    Wrote this thing at 8 AM while unable to sleep, don't expect quality.
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >be equestria
  4. 4.
    >happily, all your ponies and critters are all unicellular
  5. 5.
    >assorted blobs shaped like ponies, bunnies, etc
  6. 6.
    >plants? multicellular, but plants are fancy expensive creations, couldn't work as unicellulars here
  7. 7.
    >the passive magic metabolism of every cell feeds back to the magical gestalt
  8. 8.
    >be chill for millenia as nothing of note happens
  9. 9.
    >be being as beings can be
  10. 10.
    >suddenly feel an extreme magic drain followed by an equally massive influx of magic
  11. 11.
    >feels like equestria went barren for a sec, then got filled with a million elements of harmony beams at once
  12. 12.
    >all of nature noticed, they felt the sudden emptiness followed by excess energy
  13. 13.
    >
  14. 14.
    >be anon
  15. 15.
    >wake up in some lush plains
  16. 16.
    >you simultaneously feel sore in every muscle, bone, sinew and nerve, but also feel better than ever what the fuck
  17. 17.
    >stand up
  18. 18.
    >"hello?" you ask
  19. 19.
    >you hear a reply behind you
  20. 20.
    >you turn, nothing is there
  21. 21.
    >huh? "anyone there?"
  22. 22.
    >you hear a chorus answer back
  23. 23.
    " H E L L O "
  24. 24.
    >FUCK your head it stings, but there's nobody here?
  25. 25.
    >you spend the next hour talking with this formless chorus
  26. 26.
    >eventually make the connection that the chorus is you
  27. 27.
    >wat
  28. 28.
    >did you suddenly get ultra schizophrenia
  29. 29.
    >you realize you're hyperaware of the position of every single bit of your body
  30. 30.
    >cosmic horror beyond your comprehension? YEP, you don't get it, you were never up for smartitude
  31. 31.
    >start walking around, silently talking with yourself
  32. 32.
    >find a town with small ponies
  33. 33.
    >they talk somehow
  34. 34.
    >a group lead by a purple one shoots you with some weird rainbow beam
  35. 35.
    >man, if you felt any better it'd be like walking orgasms or some shit
  36. 36.
    >the tiny horses freak out
  37. 37.
    >sit down and try to talk
  38. 38.
    >
  39. 39.
    >be smart and purple, t to the w l i g h t, book nerd made of sparkle and smartitude
  40. 40.
    >oh Celestia it resisted the elements, or consumed the energy? oh buck oh buck
  41. 41.
    >it's gonna ea- it sat down?
  42. 42.
    >it starts talking in a weirdly echoy voice
  43. 43.
    >you feel invigorated just by standing near it, it's like a walking leyline
  44. 44.
    >several hours pass and you make amends, seems he(?) is called anon
  45. 45.
    >can't be a he, right? no single being could passively recirculate that much magic, except maybe the tree of harmony
  46. 46.
    >is he a tree? "hey fluttershy, is this guy a tree?"
  47. 47.
    >she says no
  48. 48.
    >
  49. 49.
    >several weeks pass, anon has been hired to meander about in the local factory, his mere presence is enough to power the machinery and reinvigorate the workers
  50. 50.
    >you came by to visit
  51. 51.
    >a woodcutting saw cracks and shoots some fast moving shards his way
  52. 52.
    >he dodges instinctively and only gets a mild cut on his cheek
  53. 53.
    >phew that was close, but- why isn't he closing the cut?
  54. 54.
    >you inquire with the creature
  55. 55.
    >he tells you it takes a while for the cells(?) to close a wound, also something about my toe kondria or similar
  56. 56.
    >cells? plural?
  57. 57.
    >you hand him a hoofkerchief and covertly dap another one in that strange red fluid
  58. 58.
    >say goodbye and tell him to go to the doctor if the cut was too bad
  59. 59.
    >plural... Only plants have multiple cells
  60. 60.
    >you go to the botanic microscope and put the dyed hoofkerchief under it
  61. 61.
    >you see thousands, if not millions of tiny ones, walking about
  62. 62.
    >luna, please protect me from this knowledge
  63. 63.
    >
  64. 64.
    >after a few weeks of study, you have come to confirm that Anon is indeed multicellular, like a tree. But so much more detailed
  65. 65.
    >it's not that he's particularly good at recirculsting ambient magic, it's that he has trillions of himself doing it at the same time
  66. 66.
    >try to communicate with the individual cells
  67. 67.
    >they barely respond to basic stimuli, they look lost and disheartened when disconnected
  68. 68.
    >they start working again the moment you put them near or on Anon
  69. 69.
    >you make it your mission to befriend this alien colony
  70. 70.
    >
  71. 71.
    >be a bipedal hivemind with a purple butt companion
  72. 72.
    >this purple mare has been chatting you up for a while
  73. 73.
    >she's nice, you like her
  74. 74.
    >"you know, twilight, I'd call you my vvery first friend here, thanks for always being here."
  75. 75.
    >she freezes in shock
  76. 76.
    >a counter appears in front of her horn and it rapidly climbs from 9 to well over the trillions
  77. 77.
    >she bends down in what seems to be agony
  78. 78.
    >"OH FUCK TWIGGLES ARE YOU OK?"
  79. 79.
    >she gives a quiet moan of approval as extraneous magics fill her body
  80. 80.
    >a pair of wings suddenly form from her back
  81. 81.
    >her horn grows a lot, and she gets way taller too
  82. 82.
    >she calms down and loses her balance after this sudden shift
  83. 83.
    >turns out being your friend counts as being friends with an entire planet's worth of people, making her the most harmonious and friended pony in history
  84. 84.
    >ok then, what now?
  85. 85.
    >
  86. 86.
    >you were never into horses, so you're pretty much eternally single
  87. 87.
    >meander about the world without a care, your visit being treated as a beneficial natural event
  88. 88.
    >make your way to the far norths
  89. 89.
    >find a derelict research station with a weird tentacly pony living within
  90. 90.
    >she seems chill
  91. 91.
    >hang around for a while
  92. 92.
    >start catching feelings for the thingpony
  93. 93.
    >neither of you talk, but you can communicate all the same
  94. 94.
    >hivemind telepathy? maybe
  95. 95.
    >maybe you ARE into horses a bit, or at least this one
  96. 96.
    >ask her out, she agrees
  97. 97.
    >take her back to ponyville
  98. 98.
    >twiggles is genuinely horrified at a cosmic horror beyond compare in the shape of thingmare
  99. 99.
    >she does a quintuple take when you tell her the thingmare is your girlfriend
  100. 100.
    >live the rest of your days just hanging around and doting on your thingwife, your unique multicellular biologies allowing you engage in ways the normal ponies cannot
  101. 101.
    >life is good for a hivemind

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