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Music Therapy, Alternate (Forbidden) Ending

By pentapony
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-03-21 07:31:34
Expiry: Never
anonromancesafetragedy/emo/miss eri

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhmEifNjWiw
  2.  
  3. >Eri climbs down from the couch to you and throws her hooves around your neck. Her mane presses into your face, burying you in her scent.
  4. >In all your time here, you've never gotten to smell a pony before. It wasn't even something you'd considered.
  5. >But hers is just so... sweet. There's no other way to describe it.
  6. >Your cries die down as she holds you reassuringly. She pulls back only once you're suitably assuaged.
  7. >You wipe your eyes.
  8. "This isn't going to work. If we did this, and it didn't work out... I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to end up breaking your heart. I don't want you to regret loving me. You've gone through so much suffering already. I'd rather die than cause you any more pain."
  9. >Silently, she looks into your eyes.
  10. >Eight nights ago, you fell in love with those eyes.
  11. >Six nights ago with her words.
  12. >Four nights ago with her humor.
  13. >Two nights ago with her mind.
  14. >Tonight, you're just in love with her. There's no more denying it. You love her.
  15. >But you can't do this.
  16. >You'll never be able to do this.
  17. >She doesn't say anything. There's nothing left to be said.
  18. >So she kisses you.
  19. >You submit to it immediately, pushing back into her lips with all the want in your heart.
  20. >Behind this kiss is the intense passion of every night you've spent with her, every laugh you've shared, every cry you've endured.
  21. >It is everything you've ever wanted, everything you thought you'd never get.
  22. >Slowly, she pulls back, still close enough to feel her breath on your face, her forehead leaning against yours.
  23. >She looks you in the eyes one last time, with tears streaming...
  24. >And runs out of your office.
  25. >Heartbroken.
  26. >By your hand.
  27. >Was it ever going to go down any other way?
  28. >Deny her, and drive her away. Accept her, and the inevitable fall will be so much higher.
  29. >Because you're not fit to love. Not the way you are.
  30. >She deserves so much better than what you can offer.
  31. >There you sit, brought to your knees, on the floor of your office...
  32. >And you are all alone.
  33. >Absolutely,
  34. >Entirely,
  35. >Incorrigibly alone.
  36. >The storm of your relationship has passed, leaving nothing but a trail of destruction in its wake.
  37. >Both of you felt it coming in the previous nights. Both of you, terrified of what it'd do to you.
  38. >And here it is.
  39. >Everything you ever held dear, reduced to dust. Your relationship with her is over.
  40. >This is it.
  41. >The true end of the line.
  42.  
  43. . . .
  44.  
  45. Eri
  46. Anon
  47. Tell me, reader, what does it matter now?
  48. The internal monologue is the same.
  49. They don't want to do this anymore.
  50. The two of them put it all on the line for each other.
  51. Each didn't think they were good enough for the other.
  52. All they wanted was to be loved. And they were loved, as much as the darkness permits.
  53. They just couldn't accept it. Failed to communicate the way they needed to.
  54. So if they'll never be loved...
  55. Why bother, right?
  56. Because after all the sleepless nights and fixated thoughts,
  57. After getting a taste of the sanctity that is love,
  58. Each would sooner die than lose the other.
  59. Little do they know,
  60. It's already too late.
  61. So stop reading here.
  62. Delude yourself into thinking they could ever be happy.
  63. As if "star-crossed lovers" holds any weight in the real world.
  64. As if it was ever going to turn out any other way than this.
  65. When you began this journey, you knew there was this gnawing feeling in the back of your head.
  66. You were afraid that it would end this way.
  67. You wanted them to get better. As validation.
  68. If they could do it, then maybe you could, right? Right?
  69. But darkness doesn't disappear.
  70. If you're going to go on, then you need to accept what really happens.
  71. She left his office. That much is true.
  72. But she never came back.
  73. They didn't get their happy ending.
  74. It was all just a pipe dream.
  75. A comforting fantasy, a reverie of everything they wanted.
  76. An illusion designed to console your insecurities.
  77. You and I both know the truth.
  78. They were doomed from the start.
  79.  
  80. . . .
  81.  
  82. >It's better this way.
  83.  
  84. >You were meant to be alone.
  85.  
  86. >You can play your games and live out your fantasies.
  87.  
  88. >Have those cute little chats on the couch.
  89.  
  90. >But happiness? Real contentedness, not just some fleeting fun?
  91.  
  92. >You are never going to find that.
  93.  
  94. >The darkness is inside of you and it infects everything you touch.
  95.  
  96. >Even the one you love more than anything in the world.
  97.  
  98. >There will never be a happy relationship.
  99.  
  100. >You will never feel safe.
  101.  
  102. >You will never find that warm security you long for.
  103.  
  104. >All there is for you is pain.
  105.  
  106. >You were born into pain, and unto pain you shall pass.
  107.  
  108. >There is no hope. No comfort. No love.
  109.  
  110. >If it can't happen now, in the face of someone who actually, finally knows you...
  111.  
  112. >Then it's never going to happen. You accept that now.
  113.  
  114. >There is no point in living anymore.
  115.  
  116. >You are, and forever will be,
  117.  
  118. >Unlovable.
  119.  
  120. >You get back to the apartment and slam the door behind you.
  121.  
  122. >Sitting on your office floor. She's gone. She's not coming back. For real this time.
  123.  
  124. >Pacing angrily. He doesn't fucking love you, you are nothing, you are—
  125.  
  126. >—a mess. She doesn't know what she wants, she doesn't realize you can't be loved, that you'll inevitably break her—
  127.  
  128. >—neck. That's what you should do. Just fucking hang yourself, you bitch. You should have died before ever meeting him.
  129.  
  130. >You leave your office. It's not worth it anymore. Friend. Lover. No matter what you are, you're just going to cause her more pain.
  131.  
  132. >There's no point in going on. He knows you more than anypony has and even he doesn't want you. Nopony ever will.
  133.  
  134. >Down the hall you walk. The building feels like death row. There's only one way to ensure you'll never hurt her again.
  135.  
  136. >A moment of weakness, into the bathroom. There it is, right where you left it. All this time it's been waiting for your return.
  137.  
  138. >Up the decrepit stairwell you ascend. Every night, one way or another, you pushed her into something uncomfortable.
  139.  
  140. >You take the razor blade between your teeth. There will be no dream this time.
  141.  
  142. >Hand on the railing. Climbing higher. You made her share when she didn't want to. Touched her when she didn't ask.
  143.  
  144. >Trembling as you bite down on it. You will succeed. You will succumb. You will leave him better off. He won't endure your misery.
  145.  
  146. >Burst through the door to the roof. Ten stories up, one for each night of hers you've ruined. Fucking poetic.
  147.  
  148. >The steel is cold. Princess Luna will not find you. You will submit to the darkness. Get what you deserve.
  149.  
  150. >Each nervous step to the edge, peering down to the ground far below. Your death will be her freedom.
  151.  
  152. >There was no meaning behind any of it. There never was. The iPod.
  153.  
  154. >The vampires.
  155.  
  156. >The dancing.
  157.  
  158. >The crying.
  159.  
  160. >The kiss.
  161.  
  162. >The blood.
  163.  
  164. >I am unlovable.
  165.  
  166. >I am unlovable.
  167.  
  168. >A waste of life. You bring the razor down to your skin.
  169.  
  170. >An angel of death. You step up onto the ledge.
  171.  
  172. >I love you, Anon.
  173.  
  174. >I love you, Eri.
  175.  
  176. >But I'm no good for you.
  177.  
  178. >I am nothing but darkness.
  179.  
  180. >I can't be the one you love.
  181.  
  182. >I'm not your messiah.
  183.  
  184. >I'm just some dead bitch.
  185.  
  186. >The asshole who gave you false hope.
  187.  
  188. >You sink the blade into your flesh.
  189.  
  190. >You step forward over the edge.
  191.  
  192. >If I can't be loved...
  193.  
  194. >...I'm better off dead.

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