/NEET/ Mini-Floorb


                                            "Floor! Floor, you little dork, what did you do to make us break the data cap again?!"

                                            >You were fine downloading a few roms

                                            >Until your phone buzzed

                                            >Your last courtesy month has been officially used up

                                            >You know you use maybe 45% per month if you aren't filling your hard drives

                                            >The little nerd pushes you up to around 90% per month if she's actively playing those lame multiplayer games or downloading anime to watch and then immediately delete

                                            >You glance around at your desk, and then under it

                                            >As tiny as she is, it's a wonder that she can use a laptop at all but tiny hooves meeting a mechanical keyboard has allowed her to shitpost with the greatest of ease

                                            >Sadly that's the only thing she seems to have an affinity for these days

                                            >You still remember when you adopted her

                                            >She was barely the size of a kitten, and didn't like using her words

                                            >But she was affectionate as all and didn't ever break any rules

                                            >Until she discovered the internet

                                            >Then she went from an adorable filly to an increasingly antisocial

                                            >She's always viewed you as a big brother

                                            >But thanks to those damned Japanime cartoon pictures, she keeps acting like you've escalated into some forbidden romance

                                            >You wouldn't trade her for the world but you've yet to fall to that level of perversion to romance a tiny talking horse

                                            "FLOOR."

                                            >Floor Bored, the one and only, is splayed out on her side with the laptop off

                                            >She looks dead

                                            >You nudge her with your foot

                                            "You ain't fooling me this time. I got that email not five minutes ago."

                                            >Nothing

                                            >The first time she pulled this, you did go into a genuine panic

                                            >But now you're tempted to cremate her and be done with it

                                            "Dang... she's really dead this time... I guess I better make use of her body while it's still warm..."

                                            >Hearing that, her tail flickers

                                            "AHA, YOU LIVE YET!"

                                            >That sets her off

                                            >Her tired eyes burst open and she looks at you like a deer in the headlights of an 18-wheeler

                                            >"I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FLAC FORMAT!"

                                            "LIES! DAMNABLE LIES! COME HERE!"

                                            >You lunge down to grab at her, but bang your head on the corner of your desk

                                            >Floorb scampers off, scurrying like a roach until she's under your bed

                                            >She used to gallop and trot around but now she always hunkers down when she's moving

                                            >You caught her, once, mimicking Solid Snake down to repeating everything she heard and going 'hmmm' after examining everything from a sock to an empty candy wrapper

                                            >You slip out of your chair and hop onto your mattress, leering over the corners

                                            >If you can keep quiet, she'll usually think you've wandered off somewhere

                                            >She gives you a lot of credit for some things, like keeping her fed and entertained, but she seems to think that you have the intelligence of an early PS2 mook

                                            >It takes a minute, but you see an off-white snout pop out from under the bed

                                            >A few sniffs

                                            >A gruff giggle

                                            >"Colonel... I lost 'im. Proceeding with the mission."

                                            >Belly sliding against the carpet, Floor squints hard and crawls out from under the bed

                                            >Every few inches she stops to rub herself against the carpet

                                            >You really don't want to give her The Talk but you get the feeling that it'll come sooner than later

                                            >You wait for her to move out another few inches before you lower your hand toward her

                                            >With a scream that only a scary skeleton could give, you grab her flank

                                            >The pint-sized pony matches the scream with her own and leaps up, curling into herself

                                            >Her mane an even bigger mess than usual, she peeks up at you with one exposed eye

                                            "You really gotta be careful with what you grab."

                                            >She nods

                                            "If this happens next month too, we're gonna get charged extra. That's not small money."

                                            >Her gaze stays on you, not budging an inch

                                            "That means less snack money for you."

                                            >The little dork whines out something that's surely a perfectly valid, sensible excuse as to why she lost control of how much she was downloading

                                            "What was that?"

                                            >She mumbles out something

                                            >And coughs

                                            >"...er....sorry..."

                                            >She doesn't exactly sound sorry

                                            >You go limp and melt into the bed

                                            >Your knuckles rest on the carpet

                                            >She used to follow rules and instructions far better

                                            >Is this the equivalent of pony puberty or something?

                                            >A few minutes of closing your eyes, you feel something wet rub against your hand

                                            >It's her tongue

                                            >"I'm sorry... I was making you a rar of audiobooks."

                                            >She curls up around your hand and wrist

                                            >You get the feeling it's far more than that

                                            >But it's probably partially true

                                            "Yeah..."

                                            >Your reply is half-muffled by cushioning fabric

                                            >Good thing you live alone, aside from her

                                            >You relax, having lost the will to continue with your own archiving

                                            >"Hey... Anon?"

                                            >She sounds as quiet as ever

                                            "Mmmhmmph?"

                                            >You don't even lift your face away from the comfortable pitch darkness

                                            >"...can I still have snacks?"

                                            "Mmmph."

                                            >You're too damn soft with her sometimes

                                            >"Sweet."

                                            >You can hear her whisper to herself

                                            >The licking resumes again

                                            >You can't prove it but you think she has an ulterior motive for doing it

                                            >"Anoooooon..."

                                            "Mmmmph."

                                            >"Are you still my bf?"

                                            >She's still on about the 'bf/gf' thing

                                            >You don't particularly dislike the idea but it still seems odd since you effectively raised her

                                            >She hasn't been subtle with the hints lately either

                                            >She once sent you a message containing shortstack porn

                                            >While you were at work

                                            >With a message of 'do u thnk i could do that lolz'

                                            >She is a horrible typist

                                            >But her words per minute rate is astonishing given how tiny she is

                                            >Rather than dignify that question with an answer, you drag your head up and stare at your computer

                                            "If I say 'yes', will you stop downloading three hundred gigs, only to delete it all within the same hour?"

                                            >You hear a nervous giggle

                                            >"L... love overcomes all trials..."

                                            >So that was her way of saying 'no'

                                            >You start to raise her hand up so it can rejoin your body

                                            >Floorb shrieks and glomps onto it as tightly as she can

                                            >Treating her like a dollop of slime, you whip your hand around

                                            >To no avail

                                            >She's gripping onto you with the strength of gorilla glue

                                            >More worried about accidentally bonking her against something than getting her off your hand, you quit after a minute and just set your hand down on the bed

                                            >Dizzy but successful, Floor releases your hand and sluggishly drags herself to your side

                                            >"I'm sorry... I'm a bad pony."

                                            >That she is

                                            >You huff, unable to think of how you can help implement a better rule system

                                            >Those internet may-mays are starting to warp her brain

                                            >What brain she has left

                                            >"I'm a naaaughty pony..."

                                            >Floor whispers, rubbing her head against your side

                                            >Here it comes

                                            >"Punish me, onii-chan..."

                                            >Ok, that's it

                                            >You slap your hand down on the lower half of her body

                                            >She's still growing, but as of now she can still find a way to curl up in your hands if she's a tight enough ball

                                            "You... are powering for a showering."

                                            >While the pseudo-spank causes her to imitate some sort of hentai horse noise, the threat causes her to sort herself out

                                            >"S-sorry, Anon... I'll be good. I'll send an email next time I want something bigger than a single song."

                                            "Thank you."

                                            >You want to get up and get back to things but you can feel her nuzzle against you

                                            >She's slowly assimilating your hand into her fluffy body

                                            >"Let's take a nap... and once we're done thinking about it, we can have some ice cream to celebrate me having learned my lesson for today."

                                            "Yeah... sure."

                                            >You want to be mad at her but you can't

                                            "But if I wake up and you're on that school calculator you call a laptop, I'm using the oatmeal shampoo."

                                            >"You got funny fetishes... that's ok, I do too."

                                            >When did she even learn that word!?

                                            >Fucking internet

                                            >Floor used to be a good little pony


                                            >You don't sleep for too long

                                            >It's the curse of the weekends; so much free time and chances to do anything

                                            >So the best thing your body can stick to is sleeping

                                            >Floor tends to sleep entire days away as is

                                            >She has her energetic bursts of energy, though

                                            >Last time she did was when you introduced her to the original Power Rangers

                                            >Rather than making a mask, she made a turtle shell and blended the blue ranger with Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

                                            >She really was such a sweet thing before she learned about sexual things

                                            >She still is

                                            >You grumble something about turtles when you finally come to

                                            >Evidently in your sleep you went from laying on your stomach to laying on your back

                                            >You feel your sides and have no signs of tiny pony

                                            "...Floor?"

                                            >You don't feel anything under you so you didn't turn over and squish her

                                            >Your back creaks as you sit up

                                            >You didn't want to check, but you do

                                            >Floor's laying between your legs

                                            >Face mashed into your crotch

                                            >You normally stick to boxers and a shirt when at home

                                            >You didn't really think anything of it

                                            >You might need to change that

                                            "...Floor. Floor!"

                                            >You watch Floorb visibly shudder

                                            >And hear her inhale as hard as she possibly can

                                            >She nuzzles her muzzle up against one of your boys

                                            "Come on, wake up. Ice cream waits for no mare."

                                            >She muffles out some sort of excuse, shaking her head back and forth

                                            >A little embarrassed by her attempt to motorboat your lads, you scoot back

                                            >You see an intoxicated Floorb shaking her face back and forth

                                            >She opens her mouth wide, extends her tongue

                                            ...

                                            >And opens one eye

                                            >Not only is her mouth empty

                                            >Not only is the warmth and scent of you gone

                                            >But she sees you glaring down at her

                                            >She stays in that pose

                                            >Unblinking

                                            >Unmoving

                                            >A strand of saliva drips down from her tongue

                                            >You purse your lips and sigh

                                            "Have a good nap, did you?"

                                            >No response

                                            >She seems completely married to the concept of acting like a statue

                                            >Like maybe if she does it long enough, she'll convince you that she wasn't going at it with you

                                            "You know, you shouldn't do that."

                                            >No change in movement

                                            "How long were you actually sleeping, anyway?"

                                            >Not a single budge on her part

                                            >Another strand of saliva drips from the corner of her mouth and onto the bed

                                            >You get that she's a growing pony, but this is just uncomfortable

                                            "Alright... you stay there. I'm going up and having some shebert. Might even have a Pocky stick or two thrown in, like what you see in those anime shows..."

                                            >You turn and get up

                                            >Less than two steps away from the bed, you see a blur of black and white zip past you, down the hallway and into the kitchen

                                            >One of these days you're gonna understand her

                                            >By the time you reach the kitchen, you see Floorb prancing around the fridge door in some sort of ritualistic dance

                                            >"Semenai de! Kesanai de! Makenai de!"

                                            >If she actually made an effort to pick up another language skill, you'd be impressed

                                            >But you recognize those lyrics

                                            "Oh hey, you're up! You know, I had the funniest thought that you were napping with your mouth open. and your eye open. And not at all actually napping."

                                            >Floor stops her dance, peeks over her shoulder to see you, and slowly gets back down on all four hooves

                                            >"O-oh. Good morning Anon! Y-yeah, f-funny thing huh..."

                                            >She's a terrible liar

                                            >You think she does it just to save face for her own sake

                                            >You don't have any friends so it's not like you'll ever tell anyone about all of her... moments

                                            >You shake your head and scoff

                                            "Crazy thing... I shudder to think what would happen if I didn't wake up when I did."

                                            >The munchkin pony laughs a loud, awkward, uncomfortable laugh as you set up the snacks

                                            >"Y-yeah, imagine that! I mean, what? Me? No, I'd never imagine that! No, never. Certainly not because it's you, big bro!"

                                            >You choose not to answer her

                                            >You do have a few boxes of Pocky kept in reserve

                                            >Far above and beyond anything that could resemble her reach

                                            >You think that's a reason why she never really rebels against you

                                            >You've heard her screech and reee before, mostly at whatever is taunting her on her computer

                                            >But she hasn't ever done that to you

                                            >Except that one time

                                            >You left her in a pet carrier for an entire eight hours when you went out for work as punishment

                                            >When you came back, she was comotose

                                            >The only thing that revived her was one of those hazelnut mochi blobs and the promise of watching Inuyasha

                                            "Alright... chocolate or strawberry?"

                                            >"STRAWB--wait, what type of sherbet do we have?"

                                            "Orange."

                                            >"NO, CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATIZE ME, CAP'N!"

                                            >That gets a snort out of you

                                            >She meshes really well with you, humor-wise

                                            >She meshes well with you on a ton of things, really

                                            "Alright, two orders of the good stuff! Now head back to..."

                                            >You try to show her the bowls and she's already gone

                                            >"I'M ALREADY HERE, LET'S WATCH SOME STUFF!"

                                            >God damn she's fast if she wants to be

                                            >You walk back to your room and see her sitting in place

                                            >The smile she's giving you is... odd

                                            "What are you doing?"

                                            >"Colon three."

                                            "Wat."

                                            >"Colon three."

                                            "Wat."

                                            >"Colon three."

                                            "Wat."

                                            >"ICE CREAM PIE ME ALREADY DADDY!"

                                            "Oh God damn it Floor."

                                            >You sit down on the floor and set her helping down first

                                            >Rather than a human-sized bowl, it's a tiny plate that has a scoop and a half of shebert

                                            >From a tea spoon

                                            >You also stuck two tiny segments of Pocky stick into it

                                            >One with chocolate

                                            >The other with strawberry

                                            >She lets out a joyful, awkward scream when she sees it

                                            >"BOTH!? I LOVE YOU!"

                                            >You watch her cease her screaming only when it's full of orange goodness

                                            >It lasts for maybe three entire chomps before she falls over, fainting goat style

                                            "Brainfreeze, huh."

                                            >She knows better, she just lacks self control

                                            >You shudder to think what would happen to her if you were really sick or unable to do much

                                            >You were sick once

                                            >You never saw such a tiny thing cry so much

                                            "So, we got Death Note to finish... and Chobits."

                                            >Your answer is a chilled whimper