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/NEET/ Mini-Floorb

By BlondieAnon
Created: 2020-10-22 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-09 17:46:56
Expiry: Never
anonymousfloor bored

  1. 1.
    "Floor! Floor, you little dork, what did you do to make us break the data cap again?!"
  2. 2.
    >You were fine downloading a few roms
  3. 3.
    >Until your phone buzzed
  4. 4.
    >Your last courtesy month has been officially used up
  5. 5.
    >You know you use maybe 45% per month if you aren't filling your hard drives
  6. 6.
    >The little nerd pushes you up to around 90% per month if she's actively playing those lame multiplayer games or downloading anime to watch and then immediately delete
  7. 7.
    >You glance around at your desk, and then under it
  8. 8.
    >As tiny as she is, it's a wonder that she can use a laptop at all but tiny hooves meeting a mechanical keyboard has allowed her to shitpost with the greatest of ease
  9. 9.
    >Sadly that's the only thing she seems to have an affinity for these days
  10. 10.
    >You still remember when you adopted her
  11. 11.
    >She was barely the size of a kitten, and didn't like using her words
  12. 12.
    >But she was affectionate as all and didn't ever break any rules
  13. 13.
    >Until she discovered the internet
  14. 14.
    >Then she went from an adorable filly to an increasingly antisocial
  15. 15.
    >She's always viewed you as a big brother
  16. 16.
    >But thanks to those damned Japanime cartoon pictures, she keeps acting like you've escalated into some forbidden romance
  17. 17.
    >You wouldn't trade her for the world but you've yet to fall to that level of perversion to romance a tiny talking horse
  18. 18.
    "FLOOR."
  19. 19.
    >Floor Bored, the one and only, is splayed out on her side with the laptop off
  20. 20.
    >She looks dead
  21. 21.
    >You nudge her with your foot
  22. 22.
    "You ain't fooling me this time. I got that email not five minutes ago."
  23. 23.
    >Nothing
  24. 24.
    >The first time she pulled this, you did go into a genuine panic
  25. 25.
    >But now you're tempted to cremate her and be done with it
  26. 26.
    "Dang... she's really dead this time... I guess I better make use of her body while it's still warm..."
  27. 27.
    >Hearing that, her tail flickers
  28. 28.
    "AHA, YOU LIVE YET!"
  29. 29.
    >That sets her off
  30. 30.
    >Her tired eyes burst open and she looks at you like a deer in the headlights of an 18-wheeler
  31. 31.
    >"I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FLAC FORMAT!"
  32. 32.
    "LIES! DAMNABLE LIES! COME HERE!"
  33. 33.
    >You lunge down to grab at her, but bang your head on the corner of your desk
  34. 34.
    >Floorb scampers off, scurrying like a roach until she's under your bed
  35. 35.
    >She used to gallop and trot around but now she always hunkers down when she's moving
  36. 36.
    >You caught her, once, mimicking Solid Snake down to repeating everything she heard and going 'hmmm' after examining everything from a sock to an empty candy wrapper
  37. 37.
    >You slip out of your chair and hop onto your mattress, leering over the corners
  38. 38.
    >If you can keep quiet, she'll usually think you've wandered off somewhere
  39. 39.
    >She gives you a lot of credit for some things, like keeping her fed and entertained, but she seems to think that you have the intelligence of an early PS2 mook
  40. 40.
    >It takes a minute, but you see an off-white snout pop out from under the bed
  41. 41.
    >A few sniffs
  42. 42.
    >A gruff giggle
  43. 43.
    >"Colonel... I lost 'im. Proceeding with the mission."
  44. 44.
    >Belly sliding against the carpet, Floor squints hard and crawls out from under the bed
  45. 45.
    >Every few inches she stops to rub herself against the carpet
  46. 46.
    >You really don't want to give her The Talk but you get the feeling that it'll come sooner than later
  47. 47.
    >You wait for her to move out another few inches before you lower your hand toward her
  48. 48.
    >With a scream that only a scary skeleton could give, you grab her flank
  49. 49.
    >The pint-sized pony matches the scream with her own and leaps up, curling into herself
  50. 50.
    >Her mane an even bigger mess than usual, she peeks up at you with one exposed eye
  51. 51.
    "You really gotta be careful with what you grab."
  52. 52.
    >She nods
  53. 53.
    "If this happens next month too, we're gonna get charged extra. That's not small money."
  54. 54.
    >Her gaze stays on you, not budging an inch
  55. 55.
    "That means less snack money for you."
  56. 56.
    >The little dork whines out something that's surely a perfectly valid, sensible excuse as to why she lost control of how much she was downloading
  57. 57.
    "What was that?"
  58. 58.
    >She mumbles out something
  59. 59.
    >And coughs
  60. 60.
    >"...er....sorry..."
  61. 61.
    >She doesn't exactly sound sorry
  62. 62.
    >You go limp and melt into the bed
  63. 63.
    >Your knuckles rest on the carpet
  64. 64.
    >She used to follow rules and instructions far better
  65. 65.
    >Is this the equivalent of pony puberty or something?
  66. 66.
    >A few minutes of closing your eyes, you feel something wet rub against your hand
  67. 67.
    >It's her tongue
  68. 68.
    >"I'm sorry... I was making you a rar of audiobooks."
  69. 69.
    >She curls up around your hand and wrist
  70. 70.
    >You get the feeling it's far more than that
  71. 71.
    >But it's probably partially true
  72. 72.
    "Yeah..."
  73. 73.
    >Your reply is half-muffled by cushioning fabric
  74. 74.
    >Good thing you live alone, aside from her
  75. 75.
    >You relax, having lost the will to continue with your own archiving
  76. 76.
    >"Hey... Anon?"
  77. 77.
    >She sounds as quiet as ever
  78. 78.
    "Mmmhmmph?"
  79. 79.
    >You don't even lift your face away from the comfortable pitch darkness
  80. 80.
    >"...can I still have snacks?"
  81. 81.
    "Mmmph."
  82. 82.
    >You're too damn soft with her sometimes
  83. 83.
    >"Sweet."
  84. 84.
    >You can hear her whisper to herself
  85. 85.
    >The licking resumes again
  86. 86.
    >You can't prove it but you think she has an ulterior motive for doing it
  87. 87.
    >"Anoooooon..."
  88. 88.
    "Mmmmph."
  89. 89.
    >"Are you still my bf?"
  90. 90.
    >She's still on about the 'bf/gf' thing
  91. 91.
    >You don't particularly dislike the idea but it still seems odd since you effectively raised her
  92. 92.
    >She hasn't been subtle with the hints lately either
  93. 93.
    >She once sent you a message containing shortstack porn
  94. 94.
    >While you were at work
  95. 95.
    >With a message of 'do u thnk i could do that lolz'
  96. 96.
    >She is a horrible typist
  97. 97.
    >But her words per minute rate is astonishing given how tiny she is
  98. 98.
    >Rather than dignify that question with an answer, you drag your head up and stare at your computer
  99. 99.
    "If I say 'yes', will you stop downloading three hundred gigs, only to delete it all within the same hour?"
  100. 100.
    >You hear a nervous giggle
  101. 101.
    >"L... love overcomes all trials..."
  102. 102.
    >So that was her way of saying 'no'
  103. 103.
    >You start to raise her hand up so it can rejoin your body
  104. 104.
    >Floorb shrieks and glomps onto it as tightly as she can
  105. 105.
    >Treating her like a dollop of slime, you whip your hand around
  106. 106.
    >To no avail
  107. 107.
    >She's gripping onto you with the strength of gorilla glue
  108. 108.
    >More worried about accidentally bonking her against something than getting her off your hand, you quit after a minute and just set your hand down on the bed
  109. 109.
    >Dizzy but successful, Floor releases your hand and sluggishly drags herself to your side
  110. 110.
    >"I'm sorry... I'm a bad pony."
  111. 111.
    >That she is
  112. 112.
    >You huff, unable to think of how you can help implement a better rule system
  113. 113.
    >Those internet may-mays are starting to warp her brain
  114. 114.
    >What brain she has left
  115. 115.
    >"I'm a naaaughty pony..."
  116. 116.
    >Floor whispers, rubbing her head against your side
  117. 117.
    >Here it comes
  118. 118.
    >"Punish me, onii-chan..."
  119. 119.
    >Ok, that's it
  120. 120.
    >You slap your hand down on the lower half of her body
  121. 121.
    >She's still growing, but as of now she can still find a way to curl up in your hands if she's a tight enough ball
  122. 122.
    "You... are powering for a showering."
  123. 123.
    >While the pseudo-spank causes her to imitate some sort of hentai horse noise, the threat causes her to sort herself out
  124. 124.
    >"S-sorry, Anon... I'll be good. I'll send an email next time I want something bigger than a single song."
  125. 125.
    "Thank you."
  126. 126.
    >You want to get up and get back to things but you can feel her nuzzle against you
  127. 127.
    >She's slowly assimilating your hand into her fluffy body
  128. 128.
    >"Let's take a nap... and once we're done thinking about it, we can have some ice cream to celebrate me having learned my lesson for today."
  129. 129.
    "Yeah... sure."
  130. 130.
    >You want to be mad at her but you can't
  131. 131.
    "But if I wake up and you're on that school calculator you call a laptop, I'm using the oatmeal shampoo."
  132. 132.
    >"You got funny fetishes... that's ok, I do too."
  133. 133.
    >When did she even learn that word!?
  134. 134.
    >Fucking internet
  135. 135.
    >Floor used to be a good little pony
  136. 136.
     
  137. 137.
    >You don't sleep for too long
  138. 138.
    >It's the curse of the weekends; so much free time and chances to do anything
  139. 139.
    >So the best thing your body can stick to is sleeping
  140. 140.
    >Floor tends to sleep entire days away as is
  141. 141.
    >She has her energetic bursts of energy, though
  142. 142.
    >Last time she did was when you introduced her to the original Power Rangers
  143. 143.
    >Rather than making a mask, she made a turtle shell and blended the blue ranger with Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  144. 144.
    >She really was such a sweet thing before she learned about sexual things
  145. 145.
    >She still is
  146. 146.
    >You grumble something about turtles when you finally come to
  147. 147.
    >Evidently in your sleep you went from laying on your stomach to laying on your back
  148. 148.
    >You feel your sides and have no signs of tiny pony
  149. 149.
    "...Floor?"
  150. 150.
    >You don't feel anything under you so you didn't turn over and squish her
  151. 151.
    >Your back creaks as you sit up
  152. 152.
    >You didn't want to check, but you do
  153. 153.
    >Floor's laying between your legs
  154. 154.
    >Face mashed into your crotch
  155. 155.
    >You normally stick to boxers and a shirt when at home
  156. 156.
    >You didn't really think anything of it
  157. 157.
    >You might need to change that
  158. 158.
    "...Floor. Floor!"
  159. 159.
    >You watch Floorb visibly shudder
  160. 160.
    >And hear her inhale as hard as she possibly can
  161. 161.
    >She nuzzles her muzzle up against one of your boys
  162. 162.
    "Come on, wake up. Ice cream waits for no mare."
  163. 163.
    >She muffles out some sort of excuse, shaking her head back and forth
  164. 164.
    >A little embarrassed by her attempt to motorboat your lads, you scoot back
  165. 165.
    >You see an intoxicated Floorb shaking her face back and forth
  166. 166.
    >She opens her mouth wide, extends her tongue
  167. 167.
    ...
  168. 168.
    >And opens one eye
  169. 169.
    >Not only is her mouth empty
  170. 170.
    >Not only is the warmth and scent of you gone
  171. 171.
    >But she sees you glaring down at her
  172. 172.
    >She stays in that pose
  173. 173.
    >Unblinking
  174. 174.
    >Unmoving
  175. 175.
    >A strand of saliva drips down from her tongue
  176. 176.
    >You purse your lips and sigh
  177. 177.
    "Have a good nap, did you?"
  178. 178.
    >No response
  179. 179.
    >She seems completely married to the concept of acting like a statue
  180. 180.
    >Like maybe if she does it long enough, she'll convince you that she wasn't going at it with you
  181. 181.
    "You know, you shouldn't do that."
  182. 182.
    >No change in movement
  183. 183.
    "How long were you actually sleeping, anyway?"
  184. 184.
    >Not a single budge on her part
  185. 185.
    >Another strand of saliva drips from the corner of her mouth and onto the bed
  186. 186.
    >You get that she's a growing pony, but this is just uncomfortable
  187. 187.
    "Alright... you stay there. I'm going up and having some shebert. Might even have a Pocky stick or two thrown in, like what you see in those anime shows..."
  188. 188.
    >You turn and get up
  189. 189.
    >Less than two steps away from the bed, you see a blur of black and white zip past you, down the hallway and into the kitchen
  190. 190.
    >One of these days you're gonna understand her
  191. 191.
    >By the time you reach the kitchen, you see Floorb prancing around the fridge door in some sort of ritualistic dance
  192. 192.
    >"Semenai de! Kesanai de! Makenai de!"
  193. 193.
    >If she actually made an effort to pick up another language skill, you'd be impressed
  194. 194.
    >But you recognize those lyrics
  195. 195.
    "Oh hey, you're up! You know, I had the funniest thought that you were napping with your mouth open. and your eye open. And not at all actually napping."
  196. 196.
    >Floor stops her dance, peeks over her shoulder to see you, and slowly gets back down on all four hooves
  197. 197.
    >"O-oh. Good morning Anon! Y-yeah, f-funny thing huh..."
  198. 198.
    >She's a terrible liar
  199. 199.
    >You think she does it just to save face for her own sake
  200. 200.
    >You don't have any friends so it's not like you'll ever tell anyone about all of her... moments
  201. 201.
    >You shake your head and scoff
  202. 202.
    "Crazy thing... I shudder to think what would happen if I didn't wake up when I did."
  203. 203.
    >The munchkin pony laughs a loud, awkward, uncomfortable laugh as you set up the snacks
  204. 204.
    >"Y-yeah, imagine that! I mean, what? Me? No, I'd never imagine that! No, never. Certainly not because it's you, big bro!"
  205. 205.
    >You choose not to answer her
  206. 206.
    >You do have a few boxes of Pocky kept in reserve
  207. 207.
    >Far above and beyond anything that could resemble her reach
  208. 208.
    >You think that's a reason why she never really rebels against you
  209. 209.
    >You've heard her screech and reee before, mostly at whatever is taunting her on her computer
  210. 210.
    >But she hasn't ever done that to you
  211. 211.
    >Except that one time
  212. 212.
    >You left her in a pet carrier for an entire eight hours when you went out for work as punishment
  213. 213.
    >When you came back, she was comotose
  214. 214.
    >The only thing that revived her was one of those hazelnut mochi blobs and the promise of watching Inuyasha
  215. 215.
    "Alright... chocolate or strawberry?"
  216. 216.
    >"STRAWB--wait, what type of sherbet do we have?"
  217. 217.
    "Orange."
  218. 218.
    >"NO, CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATIZE ME, CAP'N!"
  219. 219.
    >That gets a snort out of you
  220. 220.
    >She meshes really well with you, humor-wise
  221. 221.
    >She meshes well with you on a ton of things, really
  222. 222.
    "Alright, two orders of the good stuff! Now head back to..."
  223. 223.
    >You try to show her the bowls and she's already gone
  224. 224.
    >"I'M ALREADY HERE, LET'S WATCH SOME STUFF!"
  225. 225.
    >God damn she's fast if she wants to be
  226. 226.
    >You walk back to your room and see her sitting in place
  227. 227.
    >The smile she's giving you is... odd
  228. 228.
    "What are you doing?"
  229. 229.
    >"Colon three."
  230. 230.
    "Wat."
  231. 231.
    >"Colon three."
  232. 232.
    "Wat."
  233. 233.
    >"Colon three."
  234. 234.
    "Wat."
  235. 235.
    >"ICE CREAM PIE ME ALREADY DADDY!"
  236. 236.
    "Oh God damn it Floor."
  237. 237.
    >You sit down on the floor and set her helping down first
  238. 238.
    >Rather than a human-sized bowl, it's a tiny plate that has a scoop and a half of shebert
  239. 239.
    >From a tea spoon
  240. 240.
    >You also stuck two tiny segments of Pocky stick into it
  241. 241.
    >One with chocolate
  242. 242.
    >The other with strawberry
  243. 243.
    >She lets out a joyful, awkward scream when she sees it
  244. 244.
    >"BOTH!? I LOVE YOU!"
  245. 245.
    >You watch her cease her screaming only when it's full of orange goodness
  246. 246.
    >It lasts for maybe three entire chomps before she falls over, fainting goat style
  247. 247.
    "Brainfreeze, huh."
  248. 248.
    >She knows better, she just lacks self control
  249. 249.
    >You shudder to think what would happen to her if you were really sick or unable to do much
  250. 250.
    >You were sick once
  251. 251.
    >You never saw such a tiny thing cry so much
  252. 252.
    "So, we got Death Note to finish... and Chobits."
  253. 253.
    >Your answer is a chilled whimper

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