GREEN   267    2455   13.4 KB

/NEET/ Mini-Floorb

By BlondieAnon
Created: 22nd October 2020 11:20:10 PM
Anonymous Floor Bored

  1. "Floor! Floor, you little dork, what did you do to make us break the data cap again?!"
  2. >You were fine downloading a few roms
  3. >Until your phone buzzed
  4. >Your last courtesy month has been officially used up
  5. >You know you use maybe 45% per month if you aren't filling your hard drives
  6. >The little nerd pushes you up to around 90% per month if she's actively playing those lame multiplayer games or downloading anime to watch and then immediately delete
  7. >You glance around at your desk, and then under it
  8. >As tiny as she is, it's a wonder that she can use a laptop at all but tiny hooves meeting a mechanical keyboard has allowed her to shitpost with the greatest of ease
  9. >Sadly that's the only thing she seems to have an affinity for these days
  10. >You still remember when you adopted her
  11. >She was barely the size of a kitten, and didn't like using her words
  12. >But she was affectionate as all and didn't ever break any rules
  13. >Until she discovered the internet
  14. >Then she went from an adorable filly to an increasingly antisocial
  15. >She's always viewed you as a big brother
  16. >But thanks to those damned Japanime cartoon pictures, she keeps acting like you've escalated into some forbidden romance
  17. >You wouldn't trade her for the world but you've yet to fall to that level of perversion to romance a tiny talking horse
  18. "FLOOR."
  19. >Floor Bored, the one and only, is splayed out on her side with the laptop off
  20. >She looks dead
  21. >You nudge her with your foot
  22. "You ain't fooling me this time. I got that email not five minutes ago."
  23. >Nothing
  24. >The first time she pulled this, you did go into a genuine panic
  25. >But now you're tempted to cremate her and be done with it
  26. "Dang... she's really dead this time... I guess I better make use of her body while it's still warm..."
  27. >Hearing that, her tail flickers
  28. "AHA, YOU LIVE YET!"
  29. >That sets her off
  30. >Her tired eyes burst open and she looks at you like a deer in the headlights of an 18-wheeler
  31. >"I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FLAC FORMAT!"
  32. "LIES! DAMNABLE LIES! COME HERE!"
  33. >You lunge down to grab at her, but bang your head on the corner of your desk
  34. >Floorb scampers off, scurrying like a roach until she's under your bed
  35. >She used to gallop and trot around but now she always hunkers down when she's moving
  36. >You caught her, once, mimicking Solid Snake down to repeating everything she heard and going 'hmmm' after examining everything from a sock to an empty candy wrapper
  37. >You slip out of your chair and hop onto your mattress, leering over the corners
  38. >If you can keep quiet, she'll usually think you've wandered off somewhere
  39. >She gives you a lot of credit for some things, like keeping her fed and entertained, but she seems to think that you have the intelligence of an early PS2 mook
  40. >It takes a minute, but you see an off-white snout pop out from under the bed
  41. >A few sniffs
  42. >A gruff giggle
  43. >"Colonel... I lost 'im. Proceeding with the mission."
  44. >Belly sliding against the carpet, Floor squints hard and crawls out from under the bed
  45. >Every few inches she stops to rub herself against the carpet
  46. >You really don't want to give her The Talk but you get the feeling that it'll come sooner than later
  47. >You wait for her to move out another few inches before you lower your hand toward her
  48. >With a scream that only a scary skeleton could give, you grab her flank
  49. >The pint-sized pony matches the scream with her own and leaps up, curling into herself
  50. >Her mane an even bigger mess than usual, she peeks up at you with one exposed eye
  51. "You really gotta be careful with what you grab."
  52. >She nods
  53. "If this happens next month too, we're gonna get charged extra. That's not small money."
  54. >Her gaze stays on you, not budging an inch
  55. "That means less snack money for you."
  56. >The little dork whines out something that's surely a perfectly valid, sensible excuse as to why she lost control of how much she was downloading
  57. "What was that?"
  58. >She mumbles out something
  59. >And coughs
  60. >"...er....sorry..."
  61. >She doesn't exactly sound sorry
  62. >You go limp and melt into the bed
  63. >Your knuckles rest on the carpet
  64. >She used to follow rules and instructions far better
  65. >Is this the equivalent of pony puberty or something?
  66. >A few minutes of closing your eyes, you feel something wet rub against your hand
  67. >It's her tongue
  68. >"I'm sorry... I was making you a rar of audiobooks."
  69. >She curls up around your hand and wrist
  70. >You get the feeling it's far more than that
  71. >But it's probably partially true
  72. "Yeah..."
  73. >Your reply is half-muffled by cushioning fabric
  74. >Good thing you live alone, aside from her
  75. >You relax, having lost the will to continue with your own archiving
  76. >"Hey... Anon?"
  77. >She sounds as quiet as ever
  78. "Mmmhmmph?"
  79. >You don't even lift your face away from the comfortable pitch darkness
  80. >"...can I still have snacks?"
  81. "Mmmph."
  82. >You're too damn soft with her sometimes
  83. >"Sweet."
  84. >You can hear her whisper to herself
  85. >The licking resumes again
  86. >You can't prove it but you think she has an ulterior motive for doing it
  87. >"Anoooooon..."
  88. "Mmmmph."
  89. >"Are you still my bf?"
  90. >She's still on about the 'bf/gf' thing
  91. >You don't particularly dislike the idea but it still seems odd since you effectively raised her
  92. >She hasn't been subtle with the hints lately either
  93. >She once sent you a message containing shortstack porn
  94. >While you were at work
  95. >With a message of 'do u thnk i could do that lolz'
  96. >She is a horrible typist
  97. >But her words per minute rate is astonishing given how tiny she is
  98. >Rather than dignify that question with an answer, you drag your head up and stare at your computer
  99. "If I say 'yes', will you stop downloading three hundred gigs, only to delete it all within the same hour?"
  100. >You hear a nervous giggle
  101. >"L... love overcomes all trials..."
  102. >So that was her way of saying 'no'
  103. >You start to raise her hand up so it can rejoin your body
  104. >Floorb shrieks and glomps onto it as tightly as she can
  105. >Treating her like a dollop of slime, you whip your hand around
  106. >To no avail
  107. >She's gripping onto you with the strength of gorilla glue
  108. >More worried about accidentally bonking her against something than getting her off your hand, you quit after a minute and just set your hand down on the bed
  109. >Dizzy but successful, Floor releases your hand and sluggishly drags herself to your side
  110. >"I'm sorry... I'm a bad pony."
  111. >That she is
  112. >You huff, unable to think of how you can help implement a better rule system
  113. >Those internet may-mays are starting to warp her brain
  114. >What brain she has left
  115. >"I'm a naaaughty pony..."
  116. >Floor whispers, rubbing her head against your side
  117. >Here it comes
  118. >"Punish me, onii-chan..."
  119. >Ok, that's it
  120. >You slap your hand down on the lower half of her body
  121. >She's still growing, but as of now she can still find a way to curl up in your hands if she's a tight enough ball
  122. "You... are powering for a showering."
  123. >While the pseudo-spank causes her to imitate some sort of hentai horse noise, the threat causes her to sort herself out
  124. >"S-sorry, Anon... I'll be good. I'll send an email next time I want something bigger than a single song."
  125. "Thank you."
  126. >You want to get up and get back to things but you can feel her nuzzle against you
  127. >She's slowly assimilating your hand into her fluffy body
  128. >"Let's take a nap... and once we're done thinking about it, we can have some ice cream to celebrate me having learned my lesson for today."
  129. "Yeah... sure."
  130. >You want to be mad at her but you can't
  131. "But if I wake up and you're on that school calculator you call a laptop, I'm using the oatmeal shampoo."
  132. >"You got funny fetishes... that's ok, I do too."
  133. >When did she even learn that word!?
  134. >Fucking internet
  135. >Floor used to be a good little pony
  136.  
  137. >You don't sleep for too long
  138. >It's the curse of the weekends; so much free time and chances to do anything
  139. >So the best thing your body can stick to is sleeping
  140. >Floor tends to sleep entire days away as is
  141. >She has her energetic bursts of energy, though
  142. >Last time she did was when you introduced her to the original Power Rangers
  143. >Rather than making a mask, she made a turtle shell and blended the blue ranger with Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  144. >She really was such a sweet thing before she learned about sexual things
  145. >She still is
  146. >You grumble something about turtles when you finally come to
  147. >Evidently in your sleep you went from laying on your stomach to laying on your back
  148. >You feel your sides and have no signs of tiny pony
  149. "...Floor?"
  150. >You don't feel anything under you so you didn't turn over and squish her
  151. >Your back creaks as you sit up
  152. >You didn't want to check, but you do
  153. >Floor's laying between your legs
  154. >Face mashed into your crotch
  155. >You normally stick to boxers and a shirt when at home
  156. >You didn't really think anything of it
  157. >You might need to change that
  158. "...Floor. Floor!"
  159. >You watch Floorb visibly shudder
  160. >And hear her inhale as hard as she possibly can
  161. >She nuzzles her muzzle up against one of your boys
  162. "Come on, wake up. Ice cream waits for no mare."
  163. >She muffles out some sort of excuse, shaking her head back and forth
  164. >A little embarrassed by her attempt to motorboat your lads, you scoot back
  165. >You see an intoxicated Floorb shaking her face back and forth
  166. >She opens her mouth wide, extends her tongue
  167. ...
  168. >And opens one eye
  169. >Not only is her mouth empty
  170. >Not only is the warmth and scent of you gone
  171. >But she sees you glaring down at her
  172. >She stays in that pose
  173. >Unblinking
  174. >Unmoving
  175. >A strand of saliva drips down from her tongue
  176. >You purse your lips and sigh
  177. "Have a good nap, did you?"
  178. >No response
  179. >She seems completely married to the concept of acting like a statue
  180. >Like maybe if she does it long enough, she'll convince you that she wasn't going at it with you
  181. "You know, you shouldn't do that."
  182. >No change in movement
  183. "How long were you actually sleeping, anyway?"
  184. >Not a single budge on her part
  185. >Another strand of saliva drips from the corner of her mouth and onto the bed
  186. >You get that she's a growing pony, but this is just uncomfortable
  187. "Alright... you stay there. I'm going up and having some shebert. Might even have a Pocky stick or two thrown in, like what you see in those anime shows..."
  188. >You turn and get up
  189. >Less than two steps away from the bed, you see a blur of black and white zip past you, down the hallway and into the kitchen
  190. >One of these days you're gonna understand her
  191. >By the time you reach the kitchen, you see Floorb prancing around the fridge door in some sort of ritualistic dance
  192. >"Semenai de! Kesanai de! Makenai de!"
  193. >If she actually made an effort to pick up another language skill, you'd be impressed
  194. >But you recognize those lyrics
  195. "Oh hey, you're up! You know, I had the funniest thought that you were napping with your mouth open. and your eye open. And not at all actually napping."
  196. >Floor stops her dance, peeks over her shoulder to see you, and slowly gets back down on all four hooves
  197. >"O-oh. Good morning Anon! Y-yeah, f-funny thing huh..."
  198. >She's a terrible liar
  199. >You think she does it just to save face for her own sake
  200. >You don't have any friends so it's not like you'll ever tell anyone about all of her... moments
  201. >You shake your head and scoff
  202. "Crazy thing... I shudder to think what would happen if I didn't wake up when I did."
  203. >The munchkin pony laughs a loud, awkward, uncomfortable laugh as you set up the snacks
  204. >"Y-yeah, imagine that! I mean, what? Me? No, I'd never imagine that! No, never. Certainly not because it's you, big bro!"
  205. >You choose not to answer her
  206. >You do have a few boxes of Pocky kept in reserve
  207. >Far above and beyond anything that could resemble her reach
  208. >You think that's a reason why she never really rebels against you
  209. >You've heard her screech and reee before, mostly at whatever is taunting her on her computer
  210. >But she hasn't ever done that to you
  211. >Except that one time
  212. >You left her in a pet carrier for an entire eight hours when you went out for work as punishment
  213. >When you came back, she was comotose
  214. >The only thing that revived her was one of those hazelnut mochi blobs and the promise of watching Inuyasha
  215. "Alright... chocolate or strawberry?"
  216. >"STRAWB--wait, what type of sherbet do we have?"
  217. "Orange."
  218. >"NO, CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATIZE ME, CAP'N!"
  219. >That gets a snort out of you
  220. >She meshes really well with you, humor-wise
  221. >She meshes well with you on a ton of things, really
  222. "Alright, two orders of the good stuff! Now head back to..."
  223. >You try to show her the bowls and she's already gone
  224. >"I'M ALREADY HERE, LET'S WATCH SOME STUFF!"
  225. >God damn she's fast if she wants to be
  226. >You walk back to your room and see her sitting in place
  227. >The smile she's giving you is... odd
  228. "What are you doing?"
  229. >"Colon three."
  230. "Wat."
  231. >"Colon three."
  232. "Wat."
  233. >"Colon three."
  234. "Wat."
  235. >"ICE CREAM PIE ME ALREADY DADDY!"
  236. "Oh God damn it Floor."
  237. >You sit down on the floor and set her helping down first
  238. >Rather than a human-sized bowl, it's a tiny plate that has a scoop and a half of shebert
  239. >From a tea spoon
  240. >You also stuck two tiny segments of Pocky stick into it
  241. >One with chocolate
  242. >The other with strawberry
  243. >She lets out a joyful, awkward scream when she sees it
  244. >"BOTH!? I LOVE YOU!"
  245. >You watch her cease her screaming only when it's full of orange goodness
  246. >It lasts for maybe three entire chomps before she falls over, fainting goat style
  247. "Brainfreeze, huh."
  248. >She knows better, she just lacks self control
  249. >You shudder to think what would happen to her if you were really sick or unable to do much
  250. >You were sick once
  251. >You never saw such a tiny thing cry so much
  252. "So, we got Death Note to finish... and Chobits."
  253. >Your answer is a chilled whimper

Angel Cake's Quest

by BlondieAnon

/yandere/ Mr. Pear Bear

by BlondieAnon

/yandere/ Your Night Mare

by BlondieAnon

/bootleg/ Jacky Part Nine

by BlondieAnon

/Jacky/ Themes n' Songs

by BlondieAnon