Counseling on a Pfriday (WIP)


                                            > Be Anon, school counselor

                                            > You are stuck with the Dazzlings, because

                                            > A) They are manipulative, evil girls,

                                            > B) No one really wants to pay a psychologist to deal with them, and

                                            > C) You actually believe in magic, due to certain events among the student body

                                            > Oddly enough, Adagio seems to be the most cooperative

                                            > "You don't understand, I had enough power to rule the world, I could /feel/ it."

                                            "You could always go into politics."

                                            > She just sighs

                                            > "Trust me, after a hundred years or so being the power behind a throne, you don't actually want to govern, you just want to be comfortable, and make people worship at your feet."

                                            > You make a note in your file

                                            "Have you ever considered being a dominatrix?"

                                            > She sits up straight at that

                                            > "You mean that's an actual job, and not just a fetish?"

                                            "It's a bit of both, but I think you'd like it."

                                            > Adagio gets an odd look in her eyes

                                            > "Could you help me practice? Somehow, I think you could really help me with this."

                                            > You clear your throat and look away

                                            "I'm afraid not. Ah, it seems our time is up. See you next week."

                                            > She sighs, then sashays towards the door

                                            > She glances over her shoulder, a smirk on her lips

                                            > "Maybe sooner."

                                            > And she's gone.


                                            > Aria is easily the most difficult, stubborn girl you have had to work with

                                            > You've taken to knitting a sweater while she stonewalls you

                                            > Click click

                                            > Click click

                                            > Click

                                            > You spool more yarn from the skein

                                            > Click

                                            > She just sits there on the couch, arms crossed and scowling

                                            > It's the third session like this, and you think you're getting through to her

                                            > Click click

                                            > Click

                                            > You pause deliberately

                                            > A little longer, not even looking at her

                                            > Ah well, may-

                                            > Aria stands up and glares at you

                                            > "Sometimes a cigar is just a penis!"

                                            > ...

                                            "You didn't pay much attention in psychology class, did you?"

                                            > She slams her hands down on your desk

                                            > "You're just trying to make me seem hysterical, so you can play with my vagina, I know it!"

                                            > ...

                                            "That hasn't been an ethical treatment for a long time. Is there something in your past you want to talk about?"

                                            > Aria leans down and growls in your face

                                            > "Let's be unethical."


                                            > Sonata...

                                            > Is Sonata

                                            > "Oh man, it was pizza pfriday today, and I ate so much pizza!"

                                            "I see."

                                            > She rolls around on the couch, clutching a throw pillow to her chest

                                            > "I had so much, my tummy felt like it was going to burst!"

                                            "It's probably not a good idea to eat that much all the time. You'll gain a fair amount of weight, if you keep that up."

                                            > Sonata freezes

                                            > "For realsies?"

                                            "For realsies."

                                            > She stands up, dropping the pillow

                                            > "Ooh, what if I am already fat?"

                                            > Sonata lifts up her shirt above her bra and stares at her stomach

                                            > "Is it bigger? I think it might be bigger!"

                                            "Please put your shirt back down."

                                            > "Is it because I'm fat?"

                                            > You rub your sinuses

                                            "No, it is not because you are fat. It's becau-"

                                            > She puts her shirt back down

                                            > "Good, because I'm an independent blue woman, and I don't need no man."

                                            > ...

                                            "Right. Well. Pay attention to what you eat, and you'll be fine."

                                            > Sonata looks at you blankly

                                            > "What are you talking about?"

                                            "Try not to eat so much on pizza pfridays and taco tuesdays. That way you won't get fat."

                                            > Her eyes go wide

                                            > "Ooh, what if I'm already fat? Tell me, has my butt gotten bigger?"

                                            > She begins to turn around

                                            "Stop! You are not fat!"

                                            > Sonata beams at you

                                            > "Aw, thanks for saying so."

                                            > You glance at your watch, and sigh in relief

                                            "You're welcome. It seems the time is up for this session, so I'll see you next week."

                                            > She smiles brightly

                                            > "That's great! You know, you are the first person who plays with me so often."

                                            > ...

                                            "That's what I'm here for. Oh, one last thing. A student dropped this off, I believe this belongs to you."

                                            > It has her student ID, after all

                                            > Sonata looks at the item in your hand curiously

                                            > "That's not my wallet."


                                            > The last bell rings, and you sit back in your chair

                                            > You always find the sound of students in the halls to be restful

                                            > Mostly because that means they aren't in your office

                                            > Your door opens, and a familiar face walks in

                                            > "Hey dad, I just have to get this off my chest, you know?"

                                            > You sigh

                                            "What is it, Anon Jr?"

                                            > "That feel when no girlfriend."

                                            > Your brow wrinkles, and you gaze soulfully back at him

                                            "I know that feel, son."


                                            > Adagio walks in, looking a fair bit happier than last week

                                            > She sits in the center of the couch, her hands folded in her lap

                                            > "I want to thank you for your advice last week."

                                            "You're quite welcome. So I take it you are feeling more in control of your life?"

                                            > She grins

                                            > "Oh yes. I persuaded an acquaintance to help me practice dominating, and the look he gave me, kneeling at my feet!"

                                            > Adagio grips the couch cushions on either side of her, her body tensing in a way that speaks directly to your manhood

                                            > "Then he licked and suckled on my toes~, oh Doctor, I have never been so fulfilled."

                                            "I...see."

                                            > She pauses, her back slightly arched

                                            > "Something interesting?"

                                            > You try to look anywhere but her

                                            "Just be careful. If it turns to actual sexwork, that would be illegal."

                                            > Adagio smirks in your peripheral vision as you stare out the window

                                            > "Not immoral? But enough of this. I'm sure you're wondering how we are integrating with the student body."

                                            > You turn back to make eye contact

                                            "That would be my next question, yes."

                                            > She crosses her legs and leans back

                                            > "It was quite easy. I merely had Sonata be the face of our little trio. Would you believe she's already sitting with the Rainbooms for lunch?"

                                            > You raise your eyebrows at that

                                            "I would have expected a bit more animosity, I have to say."

                                            > Adagio nods in agreement

                                            > "It makes sense when you remember Sunset is...sympathetic to our plight."

                                            "Ah, of course. And the rest of the student body?"

                                            > She makes a so-so gesture

                                            > "It's fairly divided. Girls hate us, Boys love us, Rainbow Dash is conflicted."


                                            > Aria struts in for her session, a strap-on sticking out of the crotch of her pants

                                            > facepalm.exe

                                            > She reclines on the couch, one leg bent all the better to prominently display her package

                                            > "I'm a boy now, suck my cock."

                                            > You think you preferred it when she was stonewalling you

                                            "No. I am here to help you through your personal problems, and hopefully help you find a productive way to contribute to society."

                                            > She just stares at you, a hand casually inching towards her strap-on.

                                            > "I know my internet rights. I said I'm a boy when I still have a vagina and everything, so you have to do what I say."

                                            > You sigh, and open a drawer in your desk

                                            > You grab one of the many orange pill bottles, and toss it to her

                                            > Aria stares at it in confusion

                                            "They're testosterone pills. That's all I can really do in this situation."

                                            > She sits up and cradles the bottle in her hand

                                            > Oh great, now she's seriously considering it

                                            > "If I take these, then will you suck my throbbing member?"

                                            > Error message: You cannot run more than two instances of facepalm.exe at one time.

                                            "No, just...no."

                                            > She throws it at you angrily

                                            > "Fine! I'll just get Anon to suck it!"

                                            > Aria storms out of your office, vigorously stroking the strap-on

                                            >...

                                            "Dammit, son."


                                            > Sonata's lips twitch

                                            > There is almost a full second of silence

                                            > Then she's back to giggling

                                            > You don't like to enable addictions, but Sonata is proving to be the exception to a lot of things

                                            > Like your patience

                                            > You open up a middle drawer, and randomly grab a sauce packet

                                            > As soon as she sees what you're doing, she is utterly focused on your hand

                                            > If you were to simply put the taco bell sauce back, she would be despondent the entire session

                                            > So instead, you throw it, a little to the side of her

                                            > Sonata lunges, and comes up with the packet safely caught in her mouth

                                            "So what was so funny?"

                                            > She spits the packet into her hand, and squishes it idly

                                            > "So, you know how I'm like, for realsies in love with tacos?"

                                            > The wedding pictures

                                            > Certain restaurants with a shoot to kill policy

                                            > A more innocent time, when you taught her how to cook ground beef

                                            "Yes, I know."

                                            > She grins

                                            > "So, did you know,"

                                            > Sonata leans forward conspiratorially

                                            > "taco is another word for this!"

                                            > She points at her crotch, thankfully still  covered by her skirt

                                            > You sigh

                                            "Yes, I know."

                                            > "I mean, look at it, it totally looks like a taco!"

                                            > You avert your eyes at the first hint if rustling cloth

                                            > "Hey, you're not looking! You totally need to see how much my thingy looks like a taco!"

                                            "No, it's alright, I've seen 'thingies' before, I fully understand their resemblance to tacos."

                                            > ...

                                            > You hear some more rustling, and risk a glance

                                            > It seems she let go, and is currently in some state of shock

                                            > At least she's decent, for the moment

                                            > Finally she blinks those huge eyes, terrifyingly devoid of sense

                                            > "You've seen porn?"

                                            "Well, "

                                            > "What is it like?"

                                            "It's hard to-"

                                            > "Really? Can you show me?"

                                            "No, I really can't-"

                                            > "Okay, I'll just have Anon show me."

                                            > Dammit, son

                                            "I just don't care anymore."

                                            > "Hmmm, right. Well. See you later today!"

                                            > With that she bounces out of your office

                                            > What did you do to deserve this?


                                            > The last bell rings

                                            > Mostly you try to get some paperwork done, but

                                            > "Hey dad, guess what!"

                                            "What."

                                            > "I'm totally getting to third base with Adagio!"

                                            > ...

                                            > You know you shouldn't have let 4chan raise your son, but he felt so at home there

                                            > It's only as time goes by that you start to see the consequences of that

                                            "Just so we are on the same page, what do you think third base is?"

                                            > Anon Jr rolls his eyes

                                            > "Come on, everyone knows it's licking elbows."

                                            "Right then, carry on."

                                            > "Alright, see you at the sleepover!"

                                            > He's out the door before you can demand an explanation

                                            > Upon reflection, you have a pretty good idea anyways

                                            > You glance down at your mug, a father's day present from years ago

                                            > It reads,

                                            "Original Parent, your a faggot."

                                            > Oh how quickly they grow up

                                            > You hear the door open again, and you sigh

                                            "Look, if you want to have a sleepover, some prior warning would be nice."

                                            > Principal Celestia walks through, and you feel yourself die a little on the inside

                                            > "I'll keep that in mind."

                                            > At least she's smiling

                                            "Ah, sorry, I didn't mean-"

                                            > She laughs a little, a warm, vibrant sound

                                            > "Don't worry about it. I just came by to tell you that we appreciate the trouble your taking with our newest students."

                                            > You nod stiffly

                                            "I'm glad I can help."

                                            > "You're a good man, Anon. Do let me know if there's -anything- Luna or I could do to help."

                                            > ...

                                            "Will do."

                                            > Celestia gives you one more radiant smile, and leaves

                                            > Did she just imply...

                                            > It doesn't matter, you have a sleepover to supervise


                                            > The first thing you did when you and your son got home was to banish him to the bathroom

                                            > If he wants to spring this kind of stuff on you, he gets the dirty jobs

                                            > As for yourself, you rush around the front room, putting things away

                                            > Your feelings about your son's plans aside, you were taught to present a clean home to guests

                                            > For that and other reasons, Anon Jr's room is off limits

                                            > You have a bag of trash in your hand when the phone rings

                                            > You set the bag down with a sigh, and answer the phone

                                            "Hello?"

                                            > "Hello, Dr. Anon? I hear your son is planning a sleepover for tonight. An interesting guest list too."

                                            > Your blood runs cold at Principal Celestia's voice

                                            "I intend to kick them out around ten, to be honest."

                                            > "Might I offer an alternative?"

                                            > What

                                            "What? I mean, what do you have in mind?"

                                            > "I believe we should encourage a certain amount of normal behavior with the Dazzlings. To that end, Luna and I volunteer as chaperones to Junior's little get-together."

                                            > That is... odd

                                            "Ma'am, I-"

                                            > "Please, call me Celestia."

                                            > You swallow

                                            "Celestia. I don't think teenage boys and girls sleeping over is normal behavior, let alone behavior to encourage."

                                            > There's silence on the line for a long moment

                                            > "...I do have another reason for our coming to the sleepover."

                                            > Your heart speeds up, adrenalin coursing through your system

                                            > "There was a time when Luna refused to go to school."

                                            > Oh, not what you were thinking

                                            > Good?

                                            "Oh?"

                                            > "Let's just say that we had a rivalry, and I was winning. The last straw was when her last friend left her to join the popular kids. She withdrew to her room, and for what seems like a thousand years, we didn't see much of each other."

                                            "Even though you lived in the same home?"

                                            > "I wasn't exactly eager to interact with her either. At first, I resented her. After a while though, I just didn't know how to apologize. It had been too long, and we were both set in our ways. To make a long story short, we reconciled, but much of Luna's youth was spent in isolation. She's never even gone to a sleepover."

                                            > Ah

                                            "Hence your offer."

                                            > "Hence my offer."

                                            > You rub your face with one hand, and sigh

                                            "Looks like we're going to have a sleepover after all."

                                            > "Thank you, Dr. Anon."

                                            "Please, call me Anon."

                                            > She laughs

                                            > "Thank you, Anon. See you at seven."

                                            "Right, see you then."

                                            > The phone clicks and you chuckle ruefully

                                            > You get the feeling this night is going to spiral out of control, and you don't know whether or not you want it to

                                            > Well, one thing's for sure

                                            "Junior! The Principal and the Vice Principle are going to be chaperoning."

                                            > He appears at the top of the stairs, and gives you two thumbs up

                                            > "Getting two glasses of milf, very impressive."

                                            > You roll your eyes

                                            "Uh huh. You might want to reconsider your porn viewing plans."

                                            > He smiles winsomely

                                            > "Aren't you going to, ahem, distract them by that time?"

                                            "Son, I'm going to be backing them up on the no porn front."

                                            > "Shit."

                                            "Speaking of which, you better leave that bathroom spotless, my bosses may end up using it."

                                            > Anon Jr. salutes, and returns to his labor

                                            "Wait, are they expecting dinner?"

                                            > His head pops around the corner

                                            > "Don't worry, I ordered pizza in advance. We should be good."

                                            "Thinking ahead, I like it."

                                            > He grins and disappears around the corner

                                            > You gaze into the dinning room

                                            > You better get back to work too


                                            > Pizza boxes in the oven

                                            > Public rooms spic and span

                                            > You're as ready as you'll ever be

                                            > Door bell rings

                                            > You open the door to find Celestia and Luna

                                            "Welcome to my home."

                                            > Celestia smiles and hands you a bottle of cream soda

                                            > "Thank you for having us. In lieu of wine, we thought soda would be appropriate."

                                            "Indeed it is. Please, come in and have a seat, I'll join you in a minute."

                                            > You pass by the living room on your way to the kitchen

                                            > Anon Jr is sitting stiffly in the recliner, a nervous smile on his face

                                            > Heh

                                            > You put the soda away and return to the living room

                                            > The sisters have chosen the loveseat, so you take the spare chair off to the side

                                            > Luna nods at you

                                            > "Your home is much cleaner than I expected. I applaud your efforts."

                                            "Thank you?"

                                            > "Sister!" Celestia hisses

                                            > Luna tilts her head to the side

                                            > "Is it not impressive? Two males, living alone, and yet there are no socks nor used tissues to be found."

                                            > Celestia smiles weakly

                                            > "Very impressive. So, Anon! How are things at work?"

                                            "Pretty good. Aside from three notable cases, people have been getting along rather well. I do wonder if all the unusual events have unified the student body more than what otherwise might be."

                                            > Celestia relaxes a bit, and nods in agreement

                                            > "I'm not sure why the school is such a magical locus, but I can't complain about the results."

                                            > The door bell rings

                                            "Junior, would you like to get that?"

                                            > He jumps up, keen to escape the relatively boring conversation

                                            > The three adults shamelessly eavesdrop

                                            > Anon Jr opens the door

                                            > "Welcome, ladies, to the anonapalooza!"

                                            > Sonata giggles, Adagio murmurs a thank you, and Aria grunts

                                            > The girls settle on the couch with stilted pleasantries to the adults

                                            > An awkward silence descends

                                            > Sonata gazes at you, then your son

                                            > "Soooo...are we gonna watch the porn or what?"

                                            > Aria facepalms

                                            > Adagio covers Ms. Dusk's mouth, laughing nervously

                                            > "What she meant was...ah, "

                                            > Anon Jr. sits stock still in fear

                                            > Luna raises her eyebrows and smiles at him politely

                                            > "Oh, how interesting. What's the title?"

                                            > Principal Celestia shoots you a panicked look

                                            "I don't think that pornography would really be appropriate, considering the group..."

                                            > The vice-principal tilts her head

                                            > "Why not? We are all adults, except for your son. From what I have gathered, he is the one who recommended it, so the damage is done. Am I missing something?"

                                            > Her confidence fell a bit in that last sentence, and she seems almost fragile in some way

                                            > You'll have to be gentle

                                            "The fact remains, they are students and we are in positions of power over them. It would not be appropriate to expose them to eroticism in our presence, and we shouldn't leave them alone for such a morally questionable activity."

                                            > You can see her thinking this over

                                            > Then Adagio crosses her legs and leans forward with an earnest smile

                                            > "Dr. Anon, you are thinking of this in the wrong way. You've said that you would do your best to earn our trust, and that we could trust you. What better way to build on that, than by sharing secret but harmless confidences?"

                                            "My sexual preferences are not harmless little secrets. I also spoke of respecting boundaries, but it looks like the principle didn't sink in."

                                            > Adagio leans back in mock alarm

                                            > "Your preferences aren't harmless? I'm sorry, but now we are morally obligated to find out about your dangerous fetishes that you struggle to keep secret. Don't you agree, Principal Celestia?"

                                            > Your boss opens her mouth, but Luna speaks first

                                            > "Is it pedophilia? Or maybe non-con? Furries? What are you hiding, Doctor?"

                                            > You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose

                                            "My preferences are not dangerous. It's just a bad idea for students to know things like that about their teachers or counselors. Honestly, I'm sure my tastes are no more eccentric than yours."

                                            > Celestia glances apprehensively between Luna and you

                                            > Perhaps another voice of reason will join the discussion

                                            > "In that case, I think we must see your pornography."

                                            > Or not

                                            > You try to keep the hurt off your face, but some of it must have showed

                                            > Celestia smiles a little helplessly at you

                                            > "Don't misunderstand, it's because I trust that it won't be terrible. It's a little unorthodox, but I do think the Dazzlings would benefit from understanding you on more equal terms. After all, you are quite aware of their sexual preferences."

                                            > Sonata has the decency to blush

                                            > Aria is merely bored

                                            > Adagio is nodding along seriously

                                            > Junior is looking at you like you are some sort of god

                                            > Luna is clearly bewildered at the fuss

                                            "Alright, alright. Who am I to blow against the wind? Go for it, son."

                                            > Junior lurches into action, pulling a blank DVD case from his backpack and putting the disk on the tray

                                            > So much for having a normal sleepover.