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Game Night Sidestories 04: Used Camels in Equestria
By twilightgamenightCreated: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-31 22:08:07
Expiry: Never
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>”Anon, do ya know what yer doin’?”
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>It stings that AJ has no faith in your DMing skills, even after she’s played… um… two(?) whole sessions with you.
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>Maybe it’s because both of those resulted in total party kills, but those totally weren’t your fault.
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>”Quiet,” Twilight hushes her friend. “Let him give it a shot before you start criticizing.”
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>She doesn’t have any faith, either.
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>But at least she’s willing to pretend.
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>The princess clearly uncomfortable being on the other side of the DM screen – she’s twitchy and nervous and keeps fiddling with her dice.
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>”I’m sure he’ll do just fine,” the yellow one whispers.
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>If she’s not going to speak up, you’re not going to bother to learn her name.
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>Even if she is mildly supportive.
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>She gives you a shy smile.
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>”It is just *too* bad Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie could not make it,” Rarity – you think that’s her name – sighs dramatically.
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>Annoying though she is, the unicorn has a point.
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>Would be nice if one of your actual friends was here.
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>You’re pretty sure Twilight Sparkle didn’t let them know about tonight’s game. Probably intentionally, seeing as this isn’t the usual game night.
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>Trying to break you out of your comfort zone, you suspect.
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>Or trying to limit the amount of chaos by keeping your usual accomplices away.
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>”OH, GOOD! YOU HAVEN’T STARTED YET!”
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>Silly bookhorse should know by now that she just can’t deny the Ponk like that.
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>A plate of cupcakes slams onto the table, followed by a little pink pony.
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>You’re not sure where she came from.
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>Up, you know that much, but – yep, you just checked – the ceiling is still pretty solid.
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“Nope. Waiting on you.”
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>”Well, I’m here now!” she cries out, rolling off the table and slapping a brand new character sheet on the table. “Let’s get this show on the road!”
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>Twilight does a fairly decent job of hiding her surprise – maybe she wasn’t expecting to keep Ponka from attending, just hoping.
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>”Yes, let’s,” she says, smiling far too wide for it to be genuine. “So, we meet in a tavern?”
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“Sure, why not?”
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>No point dropping any surprises on them this early.
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>The adventurers spend a short time introducing themselves and discussing their mission before exiting the tavern. Though their employer has managed to locate the Lost Treasure of the Sun, he requires a strong band of heroes to help him reclaim it from the monsters inhabiting the Forest of Despair.
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>You cringe at the name – it wasn’t your choice.
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>Twilight handed you the adventure booklet last week and only approved *minor* changes.
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>Apparently your little trick with the fighter didn’t convince her that you know what you’re doing.
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>”It *is* a long walk from Hedgeville to the Forest of Despair,” Rarity whines. “My character would rather not, if you understand.”
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>”Yeah, gettin’ some form of transportation would be nice,” Applejack agrees. “Mah paladin’s gonna look around town to see if anypony’s goin’ our way. Even if we can’t use a magic gate or hire a carriage, maybe we can join up with a caravan.”
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>”Ooooh, good idea, Applejack!” Twilight nods eagerly. “That should help us avoid some random encounters, or at least give us some help!”
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“Okay, are you going to split up?”
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>”Nah, this town’s small,” the orange mare scoffs. “And Ah bet yer just waitin’ fer that to spring an ambush!”
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>Strike that plan.
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“I can’t say. So, your party begins to wander the small village…”
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>”Well, there ain’t nopony goin’ our way,” the paladin sighs, “and nothing fer hire, not that we can afford anyhow.”
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>They’ve checked everywhere.
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>The village market, the carriage inn, the tavern – nothing.
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>”Oh, drat,” her illusionist companion whines. “We shall just have to ‘hoof-it’, as the ruffians say.”
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>She stomps daintily, making a face as the very dust she had just kicked up settles on her elegant robes.
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>You’re almost feeling guilty.
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>Not really.
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>Not at all, actually.
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>But it’s what the module states *very* clearly – nopony is headed towards the Forest of Despair.
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>Possibly because of the shit name.
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>Still, Twilight *did* say you could make minor alterations...
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>The adventurers pass the outskirts of the town, only one building remaining between them and the open fields.
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>”Maybe this won’t be *so* bad,” the druid says, trying to keep her companions’ spirits up. “A nice walk does wonders for your health.”
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>”Ah guess, but –“
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“HELLO, MY GOOD FRIENDS!”
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>Twilight winces at your yelling, but motions for you to continue.
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“WELCOME TO MY EMPORIUM!”
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>The adventurers eye the pony beckoning them from the doorway of his shop with suspicion, but step closer.
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“YOU HAVE NEEDS, YES?”
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>”Yeah, we got some,” the paladin grudgingly answers, advancing ahead of the rest of her party.
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>Always keep the tank between the squishies and a potential threat.
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“YOU HAVE NEEDS!”
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>The pony claps his forehooves together excitedly.
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“LET CRAZY HASSAN HELP!”
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>”I’d rather not,” the mage answers quietly, only to be pushed aside as one of her teammates bounds past her.
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>Or through her.
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>”Oooooooh, I *like* him!” the rogue cheers, trotting around the paladin to shake the merchant’s hoof.
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“THEN WE ARE FRIENDS, YES? COME! WE ARE FRIENDS! LET CRAZY HASSAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR NEEDS! YOU NEED CAMELS, YES?”
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>”Um, no?” the rogue answers, tilting her head to one side in confusion. “Maybe. Are they *fun* camels?”
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“THEY ARE CHEAP! YOU KNOW WHY?”
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>”No?”
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“THEY ARE USED! IS WHY YOU CAN RENT CHEAP!”
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>”Ummmm…”
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“WHY HESITATION, MY FRIEND? YOU NEED CAMELS TO RIDE, YES? THEY MAKE THE TIME PASS FASTER! USED CAMELS ARE BEST CAMELS, THEY KNOW HOW DOING WHAT DO, YES?”
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>”You want *us* -“ Rarity pauses, gesturing dramatically to herself and her friends “ – to… to *rent*… this is just dreadful… to rent *used* camels?”
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>Prissy, isn’t she?”
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“JUST AS GOOD AS UNUSED CAMELS, HALF THE PRICE! COME, MY GOOD FRIENDS! WE MAKE DEAL!”
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>”You. Want. Us. To. Ride. Used. Camels?” the illusionist asks bluntly. “Are you insane?”
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>”It’s *kinda* in his name, Rarity,” Ponks snarks at the unicorn. “*Crazy* Hassan.”
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>Good, at least one of them gets it.
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>You hope that Twilight is clutching her head because of Rarity’s stupidity and not because you dicked with the module – you’re just trying to help them out.
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>That’s DMing 101.
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>”So, I go inside –“
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>”No,” Twilight interrupts Ponka, looking up from the table angrily. “This was a bad idea. We’re stopping here.”
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“Why!?”
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>”Because you aren’t as clever as you think you are, Anon,” the alicorn sighs. “You want us to 'ride used camels?'”
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“And what’s wrong with that?”
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>She shakes her head angrily, muttering things you can’t quite hear.
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“Seriously, Twilight. What the hell is wrong with that? Is it the yelling?”
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>It has to be the yelling.
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“Sorry, but Crazy Hassan –“
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>”Don’t be such a spoil-sport, Twily,” Ponks laughs. “Crazy Hassan seems pretty cool for a pimp!”
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>Pimp…?
by twilightgamenight
by twilightgamenight
by twilightgamenight
by twilightgamenight
by twilightgamenight