Regimental Standard: An Officer's Guide to the Equus Puella

 

Attention Guardsmen! It has come to our attention that certain regiments are failing to allow their Equus Puella abhuman auxilia sufficient opportunities for glorious martyrdom*! Here at Regimental Standard, we are firm believers in the right of every man, woman, and child - no matter how distant from the human norm - to serve the Imperium in whatever manner their superiors see fit. To better assist your officers with their duty, we have provided the following SPECIAL ISSUE of the Regimental Standard!

 

For the remainder of your allocated reading time, enlisted and conscripts are to contemplate your impending inevitable, yet heroic, martyrdom.

 

----- READING BELOW THIS LINE WITHOUT SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE IS PUNISHABLE BY FLOGGING UNTIL DEATH, FOLLOWED WITH EXECUTION BY FIRING SQUAD -----

 

A twelve-decade survey has shown that martyrdom statistics among our loyal and valorous Equus Puella abhuman auxilia units are unbelievably low!

 

This has been deemed a gross misuse of your available resources.

 

The average abhuman life has been estimated at 1/200 the value of a standard Guardsman**, or approximately the value of a single shot from a lasgun. As such, misusing the lives of your abhuman auxiliaries will be treated the same as wasting the Emperor's Ammunition - and remember, ammunition is meant to be spent***!

 

To help you better spend the lives of the soldiers under your command, we have compiled the three following tips.

 

1) Equus Puella are attracted to bright lights and sparkly things.

Try launching flares over enemy positions for surprise assaults. For additional effect, do this at night. Not only will the flares draw more attention from your Auxilia, but the cover of darkness may also allow for the Equus Puella to close with enemy positions at close to operational strength.

Once among enemy lines, have no doubt that your Auxilia will fight for their lives as if the Emperor were at their side!

 

2) Equus Puella are fond of singing.

Testing and post-execution validation**** have shown that song improves the combat effectiveness of Equus Puella units similarly to prayer in traditional fighting forces. This has even been proven effective in some very odd situations, such as stealth insertions! Counter to traditional Astra Militarum tradition, consider allowing - or even encouraging! - your Equus Puella to sing when engaging the enemy!

Do not allow other forces under your command to mistakenly believe that they are allowed to participate.*****

 

3)Equus Puella have proven an effective counter to enemy Psykers.

Though no substitute for the Null Maidens of the Sisters of Silence or a battery of Basilisk Artillery, Equus Puella can provide a barely suitable alternative when necessary. Though somewhat resistant to moral corruption - though not to extent of a true human, of course - your Equus Puella can easily overcome and capture enemy psykers. While this may be handy in certain missions assigned by representatives of His Most Holy Orders of Inquisition for reasons we sure are absolutely vital and beyond question, this may prove detrimental in other, more traditional, situations.

Be sure to execute the warp-tainted filth out of line of sight of the Equus Puella to maintain morale.******

 

We hope these handy tips will improve the combat effectiveness - and martyrdom rate - of your Equus Puella abhuman auxilia! Join us next week for another special issue on the lesser variant of your Equus Puella: How to Properly Make Use of The Equus Equus Auxilia - An Officer's Guide to Clearing Minefields.

 

++ Thought For the Day: The loyal servant learns to love the lash. ++

 

* And redemption for their sin of not being within one deviation of the standard human norm.

 

** Both of which are far surpassed by the equipment the standard guardsman is issued, though that is no commentary on the value of human life but on the superiority of the immeasurably powerful wargear with which we of the Departmento Munitorum equip even the lowliest of Mankind's warriors.

 

*** Additionally, denying abhumans the right to die for the Emperor has recently been deemed heresy, according to the peer-reviewed paper by Cardinal Superior Henias vas Barhd, "Abhumans: Do they have souls and can they feel pain?"

 

**** Do not be afraid to experiment! If your unsanctioned actions lead to victory and are eventually deemed non-heretical by a conclave of no less than one Inquisitorial representative, two Munitorium clerks, and your superior officer's successor, your ashes will be exhumed and reburied in consecrated ground with full honours! A letter of recognition will be sent to your surviving last of kin, if applicable.

 

***** Excluding the four-point-six minutes allocated on Sanguinalia to sing the Hymn to Him. This remains allowed and - even better news! - compulsory.

 

****** If that proves unfeasible due to ongoing enemy action or unimpeachable zealotry on your part, our expert advisor from the Commissariat assures us that it will be necessary to execute at least one of the Equus Puella as well, for the purposes of maintaining morale.