GREEN
1209
3
1386 7.69 KB 135
1386 7.69 KB 135
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> Be Anon, flipping pancakes like a boss
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> Sure, the crystal empire has its royal cooks, but the royal family prefers your cooking
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> Cadance claims the secret ingredient is your love for them
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> She's kinda right, because you can't bring yourself to tell her it's actually butter
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> You hear a shuffling, hesitant clip clop of hooves on crystal
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> You look over your shoulder to find Flurry shaking her foreleg, taking a step, then shaking her other foreleg, and thereby making her way into the kitchen
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"Morning, McFlurry. Step in something weird?"
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> She looks up at you, brow furrowed
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> Then her eyes widen
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> "Why did you get to be a human! I should be a man, not some teenaged girl horse thing!"
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> You blink
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"Uh, Phlurry botographic evidence, didn't you already get the talk? When a precursor civilization loves a planet very much, they seed it with carefully tailored life that will inevitably be their undoing. Your precursors liked horses, and mine liked gorillas."
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> The filly rolls her eyes
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> "Not what I'm talking about. My name is Jack McTaggert, and the last thing I remember was getting hit by truck, and now I'm in some cotton candy horse abomination body. So tell me, whose cock did you suck to end up in a human body? And are they still interested?"
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> You slowly turn to face her
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> She looks at you with a sour expression, her wings just sort of dragging on the ground
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> No
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> It can't be
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> You shake your head in horror
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"Anonfilly was never meant to be. What hack deity did this? TF a shit! A SHIIIIT!"
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> Flurry keeps frowning for all of three seconds before she breaks down laughing
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> What
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> "Priceless! Your face was priceless!"
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> You hang your head in relief and mild embarrassment
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"You can be a cunt, you know that?"
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> Flurry wipes the tears of laughter from her face, her magic gripping the spatula and flipping the pancake
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> "Come on, I've seen the pranks you play on Mom, Dad, and the Aunties. Admit it, it was funny."
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> You scowl at her, but without any true ire
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"You wouldn't be talking that way if you had to live through those lawless times. Bad taste as far as the eye can see, degenerates tainting any island of originality. Not to mention the-"
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> "-great homo infiltration, yeah, I know. But I've seen your memories of those times, it was nothing but a bunch of stallions stewing in their whimsy."
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> You scoop up some batter and pour it onto the pan
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> As an afterthought, you snatch the spatula out of her magic
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"You're a huge, sexist fuckfilly for saying that, you know. Next you'll be telling me that stallions belong in the kitchen."
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> She raises her eyebrows at you
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> "Duh."
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> Then Flurry shakes her foreleg again
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> You frown
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"What's up with that? The prank's over, you don't need to pretend to be weirded out by your body any more."
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> She huffs
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> "I put tape on the frogs of my hooves."
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> You look at her expectantly
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"And? You have magic, don't you?"
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> She blushes a little and looks away
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> "It tickles too much if I do that."
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> You give her an unimpressed stare
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> She ducks her head
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> "Could you..."
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> You glance at the pancake, flip it, then put the spatula down on the counter
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> You sigh
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"Fine, give me your hoof."
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> Flurry raises her foreleg and you grab it below the...what, hoof-wrist?
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> Whatever it's called, you crouch a little to get a look at the frog
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> You spot the tape immediately
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> Flurry trembles as you pick at, then peel it off from one of the corners
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> You glance at her face as she switches legs
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> Her lips are pressed firmly together, no doubt keeping the giggles in
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> She actually whimpers when you pull off the other piece of tape perhaps a little more quickly than you should have
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> You gently set her hoof down
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"I didn't hurt you just now, did I?"
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> She shakes her head
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> "Just tickled me, is all."
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> You stand straight with a grunt
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"Well, that's fine then."
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> You are about to turn back to the stove
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> "Um,"
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> You sigh
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"Yes?"
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> Flurry Heart rubs her neck
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> "Could you get the back hooves too?"
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> You smirk at her
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"Really didn't think this through, did you?"
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> She scowls
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> "The prank worked! It's just, you know, cleanup is the problem."
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> You roll your eyes
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"Whatever, turn around and I'll take care of it."
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> She wheels about, glad to hide her face
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> You scoop the last pancake and toss it onto the pile, then turn off the stove
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> That done, you crouch down and to the side and lift up her hind leg
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> No sense risking getting bucked, after all
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> As you peel off the tape, Flurry makes a little "Hn!" Noise
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> You pause, but she doesn't seem to be doing anything else
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> You sidle around to the other side and lift up the last leg, squatting to ease the strain of crouching down
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> You pick at the edge of the tape, but it's stuck on pretty good
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> Flurry is making more strangled noises as you work at it, poor thing must be so ticklish
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> At last you get under it, and start pulling it off
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> Out of nowhere, Flurry's tail baps your face and you fall back onto your butt
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> The filly neighs and bolts away, leaving you on the floor with four pieces of tape
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> You can't help but chuckle to yourself and get back to making breakfast
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> You are Flurry Heart and you bucked up bad
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> Not only did the tape thing ruin the whole prank, you actually flagged your tail at Uncle Anon
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> You bury your head in your pillow and let out muffled screams of mortification
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> Your messenger journal buzzes
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> You slowly calm your breathing and open it
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> Luna writes,
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> [How did it go? Regale me with descriptions of his expressions!]
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> Your magic trembles as you pen a response
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[Yeah, he was freaking out and it was funny, but ughhhhh]
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> You bury your face in your pillow
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> The journal makes a scratching sound
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> You lift your head to look at it
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> [Niece, what is wrong?]
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> Your heart is still racing as you try to avoid remembering his touch, gentle to the point of almost being sensual
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> Buck
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[Anon was taking off the tape on my hooves and...]
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> [And?]
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> You chew your lip
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[I sorta...flagged at him.]
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> You stare at the journal, each second of silence more damning than the last
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> At last, Aunt Luna replies
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> [Then when shall we have the ceremony? I assume he was overcome by your marely forwardness and begged to be yours.]
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> You scowl
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[That's not how it works anymore and you know it. Ugggghhh, I haven't even had breakfast, how am I supposed to eat at the same table after flashing him?]
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> Luna is quick to answer
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> [First you obtain a carrot or a sausage or somesuch, then-]
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> You practically dig the pen into the page
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[Buck you!]
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> [No, not unless you let me into your herd. But seriously, my dear Heart, I believe you may be overreacting. It's perfectly natural to accidentally flag at your age, and Anonymous probably just thinks it was funny.]
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> You sigh
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[That might be worse.]
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> Your aunt doesn't reply for some time, and you take the opportunity to start brushing your mane
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> [You really ought to talk to your mother about this. She is the expert.]
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> You grimace
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[She is the absolute last person I want to talk to about this! Especially now that I- you know.]
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> [You're assuming she doesn't know already.]
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> You snort
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[I'm assuming she's too busy orchestrating a matchmaking scheme involving Anon and/or me, and won't be dropping by to give me a horrendously embarrassing lecture.]
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> There is also the faint possibility that she just cannot sense your feelings for Uncle Anon because it's not actually love
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> Which would suck major clit, if it were true
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> [Maybe her scheme is already working, and that is why you ended up flagging at Anon. Go to breakfast, my niece. At least you will be horribly embarrassed with a full stomach.]
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> You groan, but she is probably right
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> That's the way your aunts are
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> Be Anon
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> Flurry sure is taking forever, maybe you should check on her
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