Married Man on the Market (Unfinished)


                                            > It's your second week of writer's block

                                            > This wouldn't be such a big deal, but you are the founder of the burgeoning "Cold Science" genre

                                            > Ponies can't get enough of stories set in a world without magic

                                            > Quite frankly, you plan on retiring early

                                            > You are sick of deadlines

                                            > Between the absolute silence you require for writing, and Celestia's work schedule, you don't see as much of her as you would like

                                            > Maybe an hour a day with your, if you are lucky

                                            > This evening, it's a little different

                                            > You find all four princesses waiting in your antechamber

                                            > Celestia is the first to speak

                                            > "Anon, dearest, you need to find another wife."

                                            > No

                                            > This isn't happening

                                            > She can't

                                            "You're divorcing me?"

                                            > Celestia shakes her head frantically

                                            > "No! I still want to be married, I still love you!"

                                            "Oh."

                                            > You shakily grab a chair and sit down

                                            "What's this about, then?"

                                            > Cadence gives you a sympathetic look

                                            > "Anonymous, we are worried that you are too alone. It is... traditional in situations like this, for the stallion to wed the hoofmaidens of the mare."

                                            "Hoofmaidens?"

                                            > Sounds vaguely biblical

                                            > Twilight picks up where she left off

                                            > "Female servants. That part has fallen out of practice, but the principle is the same. You need more mares in your life."

                                            > Another crazy day in horseland

                                            "Honestly, I'm fine. I knew Celestia had a full schedule when I married her. Nothing has changed how I feel about her."

                                            > Twilight shakes her head

                                            > "Anonymous, it's taken you longer and longer to write your next book. You may understand Celestia's situation, but that doesn't mean it's not affecting you negatively."

                                            > Seriously?

                                            "This is about book production? Book production!"

                                            > Luna cuts in

                                            > "Nay, cease thy hysterics. Thy writing is but a sign of thy emotional state. We hath observed that thou art growing more and more despondent. Hence our intervention, that thou procure wives sufficient to balm thy sorrow."

                                            > Celestia steps forward, embracing you in her wings, laying her head on your shoulder

                                            > You automatically wrap your arms around her neck

                                            "You truly want this."

                                            > Your wife tightens her embrace

                                            > "It's for the best, my sunshine."

                                            > And that was that.


                                            > The next day finds you in Ponyville, sipping coffee in a small outdoor cafe

                                            > The town is just barely waking up, and you aren't entire sure how you want to go about this

                                            > Meeting new mares is so troublesome

                                            > "Fancy meeting you here!"

                                            > Oh, hello Rarity

                                            "Good morning. The fashion world treating you well?"

                                            > She sits across from you, discreetly signaling the waiter

                                            "Quite well; why, just the other day I was featured in Dressage. I really must thank you once again for wearing my work to your wedding."

                                            > You smile and nod a little stiffly

                                            "Us up and comers have to look out for each other."

                                            > The waiter silently places a cup of tea before her

                                            > Rarity gives you a penetrating glance

                                            > "Darling, something is troubling you. Let me return the favor, of listening if nothing else."

                                            > Might as well

                                            "Funny you should mention my marriage..."


                                            > Rarity sips from her tea, digesting the news

                                            > "If you are back on the market, I do have a friend you could look up. She's very sweet, and I think you'd like her. Here, let me write a letter of introduction."

                                            > She signals the waiter again

                                            > Soon enough she levitates the envelope to you

                                            "To think, I'd be going on blind dates again..."

                                            > Rarity smiles at you

                                            > "The last one didn't turn out too terribly for you. Though I doubt this one will end in another royal wedding."

                                            > You chuckle at that

                                            "True enough."

                                            > The rest of the morning is spent in idle chatter, catching up and gossiping about mutual acquaintances

                                            > On your way back to the hotel, you feel like you are being watched

                                            > Given your status, both as a highly successful author and as a human, it's not too surprising

                                            > Most of Ponyville's citizens have gotten used to living with celebrity, what with the holders of the Elements of Harmony being natives

                                            > But there's always some pony who isn't as discreet

                                            > Then you realize

                                            > It's high noon, and you are in the shade

                                            > You look up, and yes, there is Rainbow Dash

                                            > She tries to hide behind her cloud, but you just give her a flat look

                                            > "Eh hehehe, looks like you got me."

                                            "For the last time, I will not feature a super fast pegasus character in my books."

                                            > Rainbow waves her hooves in denial

                                            > "It's not about that! Twilight told us about your situation, and-"

                                            "She WHAT?"

                                            > "Just, you know, me and the girls. Made us Pinkie Pie promise to keep it quiet too."

                                            > Your anger slowly drains away in the face of Dash's worried expression, leaving you tired

                                            "Fine. So what were you saying?"

                                            > "Well, Flitter has been pretty lonely since Cloudchaser got into the academy, so I was thinking you could you know, get to know her or something."

                                            > You sigh

                                            "I'll take that under consideration."

                                            > "Great! I'll send her to your room!"

                                            > With that she's off, and you can only stare in consternation at the rainbow afterimage

                                            > You have a feeling this is going to be a long day

                                            > You decide to drop the letter off at the post office before something else comes up

                                            > Afterwards, you open the door to your hotel room, only to find a pegasus on your bed

                                            > She swishes her tail out of the way, her wings at half mast

                                            > Face? Meet palm

                                            > She looks at you over her shoulder

                                            > "Is something wrong? Rainbow said you needed company, so..."

                                            "How do I put this... I want to take things slowly. Talking, dating, and so on. Trust Rainbow Dash to jump to conclusions."

                                            > "Oh."

                                            > She made her way off the bed, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment

                                            > "I'll just be going then."

                                            > Damn these ponies, why do they have to be so cute

                                            > And sad

                                            "No, stay, please. This is as good a time as any to get to know you."

                                            > Flitter glances at the bed, then sits down on the floor

                                            > "So what do you want to know?"

                                            > Let's see...

                                            "What is your dream?"

                                            > She perks up at that

                                            > "To raise some foals of my own."

                                            > You raise an eyebrow at her

                                            "You do realize we are genetically incompatible, right?"

                                            > She looks away, her blush coming back full force

                                            > "We could adopt. And this way, you can... inside... every..."

                                            > Flitter trails off into silence, her wings slowly unfurling

                                            > Well, no need to ask what her fetish is

                                            "Right. Yes. Well, what about books. What do you like to read?"

                                            > The pegasus stands up excitedly

                                            > "Cold Science! I love every book you've written, my favorite is the series where immortal alien travels in a phone booth!"

                                            > She comes closer to you, warming to her subject

                                            > "He's so clever, and strong, and your heart just aches for him, the last of his kind!"

                                            > Oh yeah, that was when you were dating Celestia

                                            > Got a little carried away with the romance scenes

                                            > Speaking of which, Flitter puts her forehooves up on your chest, her face a few inches from yours

                                            > "Like you. You always seem so lonely, when you visit here."

                                            > You are a married man!

                                            > ... And for once, that isn't a valid excuse

                                            > You struggle to find something to say, but this mare is awfully distracting

                                            > You tuck a few stray strands of hair into her bangs, and she leans her head into your hand

                                            > No

                                            > You take her hooves in your hands and gently lower her back to the ground

                                            "I may be lonely, but I have a wife. I won't be seduced, I won't be promiscuous."

                                            > Flitter's eyes fill with tears

                                            > "I wasn't trying to- I was just- "

                                            > She looks up at you, teardrops rolling down her cheeks

                                            > "Y-you a-aren't the only one who n-needs company."

                                            > Oh hell

                                            > You kneel down and hug her neck, letting her head rest on your shoulder

                                            > You ignore your dampening shoulder, and just pet her mane

                                            > You shift to a sitting position, and she crawls into your lap, holding onto you tightly

                                            > You gently rock her back and forth, a few tears of your own falling on her coat

                                            > They'd been held back too long, for both of you

                                            > After having a good cry, the conversation flows a little easier

                                            > You have to admit, she's a nice mare to be around

                                            > Then your stomach rumbles

                                            "It is somewhat past lunch time, isn't it?"

                                            > Flitter smiles

                                            > "And I should be getting to work. But it was nice meeting you, Anon."

                                            "You as well, Flitter. Next time you see Dash, give her a kick from me."

                                            > She raises her chin in mock offense

                                            > "I though you rather liked our time together."

                                            "I did, but she still deserves a kick to the rump."

                                            > The pegasus laughs

                                            > "Fair enough. See you around, Anon!"

                                            "Likewise, Flitter."

                                            > You close the door and spend a few moments making yourself presentable

                                            > Then it's off to lunch


                                            > The key to dealing with Pinkie Pie is to know, on a bone-deep level, that nothing will stop her

                                            > Thus, the best strategy is to give up before she builds up momentum

                                            > That is why you went to Sugarcube Corner on purpose

                                            > That is also why you are in a dimly lit room in the basement

                                            > The only light emanating from two candles on your table

                                            > The only living soul you can see is Maud Pie, dipping Boulder in a bowl of soup

                                            > Pinkie Pie could be anywhere

                                            > In fact, she may technically be everywhere, but especially near the ceiling, where rose petals fall around the "romantic" scene

                                            > You can even see her reasoning

                                            > You like to have silence as you write

                                            > Maud is... Maud

                                            > Pinkie forgot one thing

                                            > "Kiss or something! Why do you have to be so slow and pokey!"

                                            > You are both perfectly happy to not interact

                                            > Maud looks up

                                            > "I'm playing with Boulder seductively. What more do you want?"

                                            > Okay, you are perfectly happy to not interact, and Maud is Maud.

                                            > "Dialogue! Witty, sexy banter that shows how intelligent and interesting you are!"

                                            > Maud looks at you

                                            > "I like hard..."

                                            > ...

                                            > ...

                                            > "rocks."

                                            > You hear Pinkie's muffled scream of frustration

                                            > You nod

                                            "Most rocks are hard. Would it be fair to say you like most rocks?"

                                            > She glances at boulder, forgotten at the bottom of her soup bowl

                                            > "...yes."

                                            > Pinkie Pie gives a long sigh, and clambers down a ladder you are pretty sure did not exist before

                                            > "Okey."

                                            > "Dokey."

                                            > "Loki."

                                            > She sits by the table

                                            > "Here's how it is. Anon, Maud is really quiet. She doesn't talk much! Not even when you are doing, hmm hmm, things with her!"

                                            > You do not want to know how she knows that

                                            > Well

                                            > Maybe a little

                                            > "Maud! Anon knows all sorts of things about rocks! Anon, tell her about subduction!"

                                            > You know this is a bad idea

                                            > But you are curious too

                                            "It's when a tectonic plate slides under another one and pushes it up, creating mountains, as well as volcanoes and earthquakes."

                                            > You hear the sound of wood splintering, and the next thing you know, you are on your back

                                            > You see the two halves of the table in your peripheral vision

                                            > Not that that matters, there is a grey mare vigorously humping your crotch, moaning into your neck

                                            > Monotone moaning, but still

                                            > What you are about to try may destroy your pelvis, set you free, or something else entirely

                                            > You press your pants-bound erection against her bucking, and whisper

                                            "Pyroclastic flow."

                                            > Maud wraps herself tightly around your body, hot fluids pouring down around your groin

                                            > She shudders, and finally lies still

                                            > You gently pry yourself out of her embrace, feeling oddly pleased at the small smile on her lips

                                            > You stand up and glare at Pinkie

                                            "I'm going to need a pair of pants."

                                            > She squeaks, and disappears

                                            > Maud just lays there, twitching from time to time

                                            > That was a good lunch, you think.

                                            > When Pinkie returns with your pants, she won't look you in the eye

                                            "Quiet while you do things to her?"

                                            > Pinkie goes over and pokes her sister

                                            > "I never talked dirty to her! Normally she doesn't even react!"

                                            > You change, using some cloth napkins to clean up Maud's juices from your legs

                                            > Pinkie huffs

                                            > "Of course, now she doesn't react."

                                            > You look over and, okay, Pinkie's just poking her shoulder

                                            "Well, as fun as this was, I really ought to get back to writing."

                                            > Pinkie finally meets your eyes, her hair sagging

                                            > "You did have fun, right? Do you like Maud?"

                                            > Helluva question, Ponks

                                            > Honestly?

                                            "She's not too bad. It was nice meeting her."

                                            > Pomf

                                            > As you leave, you can hear her giggling and snorting and jabbering away

                                            > You make it back to the hotel uneventfully, and spend a decent number of hours happily writing

                                            > Dinner comes and goes, and leaves you drowsily lounging on the couch

                                            > Then you hear some muted squabbling, and a knocking at the door

                                            > You grudgingly open it to find Applejack...

                                            > And the cutie mark crusaders

                                            "Seriously? Rainbow Dash and Pinkie at least chose, you know, legal adults!"

                                            > Applejack's expression went from apologetic to stubborn

                                            > "Now see here, Ah ain't pushin' no match on a stallion who clearly ain't interested. Could you just watch them 'til Ah'm done fixin' the barn?"

                                            "Fixing the barn?"

                                            > Sweetie Bell appeared to be contrite

                                            > "Turns out, we didn't get our cutie marks in siege weaponry."

                                            > Sounds about right

                                            "Alright, I'll take them. But they have to be gone by night time, alright?"

                                            > "CUTIE MARK STORYTELLERS! YAY!"

                                            > Applejack gives you a grateful smile

                                            > "Your town thanks you, Anon."

                                            "Yeah, yeah. Just please, fix that barn quickly."

                                            > Applejack chuckles as she sets off

                                            > "Ah'll see what Ah can do."


                                            > Scootaloo clings desperately to couch arm

                                            > "He told me enough, he told me you killed him!"

                                            > Applebloom stands tall, perched on the back of the couch

                                            > "Scoots... I am your father!"

                                            > "Noooooooo!"

                                            > The tiny pegasus flops onto the floor

                                            > Sweetie Bell looks up at you

                                            > "Are you sure we can use this for the next school play?"

                                            "Definitely."


                                            > Sweetie Bell gazes moodily out of her cardboard box

                                            > "I perform a much needed service in the city of amnesia."

                                            > Applebloom taps on the side

                                            >"Sweetie, you're a louse."

                                            > Sweetie Bell's cheeks puff up in irritation

                                            > "This is a different scene!"

                                            > Scootaloo put the phone to her ear

                                            > "Master Sweetie, your goose is almost cooked."

                                            "Okay, who actually read the entire script?"

                                            > Sweetie bell raises her hoof and glares at the other two

                                            > Applebloom looks up at you, frowning

                                            > "Can we replace the tomatoes with apples?"

                                            "Never mind, let's just move on."

                                            > Sweetie gives you puppy dog eyes

                                            > "Can I keep the car?"

                                            "...fine."


                                            > Scootaloo wraps a handkerchief around her head

                                            > "Believe it!"

                                            "This was a terrible idea."


                                            > When Applejack finally collects them, all you have the energy to do is to wave goodbye, and collapse on the bed.

                                            > Some time in the night, you feel a weight settle beside you

                                            > You are hit with an overwhelming smell of vanilla, and you smile

                                            "Couldn't stay away?"

                                            > A large wing pulls you up against her chest

                                            > "Not even if I wanted to."

                                            > So close, it feels like you are basking in the sun

                                            "Tell me about your day, and I'll tell you about mine."

                                            > She sighs and holds you close

                                            > "There's a highly addictive drug sweeping through the Griffon Republic, and there are indications that some frontier ponies are suppliers."

                                            "Oh wow, that's worse than usual."

                                            > She hums in agreement

                                            > "Luna's dreamwalking as much as possible, but it's hard to pin down the guilty parties."

                                            "Any indication one of the candidates for Dragon Emperor is behind it?"

                                            > "I'm afraid the Cloud Gremlin guild of alchemists is the more likely option. Of course, without an extradition agreement, that will be hard to prove in the political arena. But enough of all that. What of your day?"

                                            "Let me tell you, I may end up punching your faithful student the next time I see her..."


                                            > Waking up alone is always a bit of a let down

                                            > Of course, you could wake up at the crack of dawn, but it's a rare thing

                                            > At any rate, you wake up with a post-it note on your lips

                                            > You pull it off and read it in the dim morning light

                                            /Mwah, good morning!/

                                            > You smile, and give the note a kiss back

                                            > You make your way to small kitchen, to find another note and a steaming plate of pancakes on the counter

                                            /Let's get you some breakfast- Oh! So you want dessert first~/

                                            > You just know, sitting on her throne for the morning court, Celestia is smiling, thinking about how she gave you a boner

                                            > You carry the plate to the table, and the next note

                                            /Nnngh! Harder! Oh, yes! Squeeze my ass! Unf, and slap it, I'm a bad girl and I need to be punished!


                                            Enjoy your syrup!/

                                            > Godamn, Sunbutt

                                            > This reminds you of the time you ate breakfast off of her flank

                                            > Hnnnnghgg

                                            > Okay, focus, you need to eat breakfast

                                            > You are pretty sure it's corn syrup, but it's clear and sticky and you are pouring it all over your pancakes

                                            > You savor each bite, for the sake of an audience that isn't there

                                            > Dirty dishes in the sink, time to put the dirty anon in the shower

                                            > Oh dear

                                            > There's a note on the curtain

                                            /Wait, stop nnnnggg, fucking me. Let's get in the shower, and get all wet and slippery.

                                            Well, wetter in my case. *wink*/

                                            > You turn the water on and step under the spray

                                            > It's then that you notice two hoofmarks high up by the showerhead

                                            > You can easily imagine Celestia, hooves on the wall, plot jutting out and dripping

                                            > You start to stroke, hearing her warm, naughty voice in your head

                                            > Your free hand grabs the air where her ass once was, your mind filling in the rest

                                            > Then a note flutters down, weighed down with the humidity

                                            > You snatch it out of the air before it gets soaked

                                            /Mmmf, fill me up, I'm your broodmare and my womb aches for your seed/

                                            > The handwriting is shaky, and you can easily imagine what she was doing when she wrote it

                                            > The words and the mental images send you over the edge, and you fire off a twenty one gun salute to your sexy wife

                                            > One shave and a change of clothes later, you are ready to face the new day.

                                            > You figure you have a fair amount of time before Rarity's friend sends a response,

                                            > Wait

                                            > What was even in that letter

                                            > You trust Rarity, but still...

                                            > No use worrying about it now

                                            > So, aside from that, you have two other matchmaking attempts you haven't encountered yet

                                            > Let's leave Twilight for last, you need to save your anger

                                            > So it is that you open the door and bump into Maud

                                            "The hell."

                                            > She looks up at you sleepily

                                            > It occurs to you that Celestia must have stepped over her on her way out

                                            > …You aren't sure how you feel about that

                                            > "Good morning."

                                            > Oh right, she's still here

                                            "Ah, good morning. Did you sleep well... on the doorstep?"

                                            > "Yes."

                                            "Good, good. Now, why did you sleep on the doorstep?"

                                            > "You know how to talk to me."

                                            > ...

                                            > Right

                                            > Somehow, there probably aren't that many ponies who can talk geolo-

                                            > Hold up

                                            "What about when you got your rocktorate?"

                                            > She maintains eye contact as her cheeks become flushed

                                            > "Ah, my wild college days."

                                            > Your mind balks at trying to imagine how that had been

                                            "Back to the original topic, you just wanted to be close to me?"

                                            > "Yes."

                                            > Okay.

                                            "Alright then. Well, I'm going to visit my friend Fluttershy, but you can come along if you want."

                                            > "Okay."

                                            > The walk to the cottage is rather uneventful

                                            > Maud occasionally brushes against your leg, but you walk mostly in silence

                                            > Fluttershy answeres the door in her usual way

                                            > From behind at least six chains and latches

                                            > "Oh, hello Anon. Um, just a moment please."

                                            > The door closes, and you glance at Maud

                                            > She seems bored... or just Maud-like

                                            > The door opens again

                                            > "Please come in."

                                            > Fluttershy leads you to the divan in her living room

                                            > Living room is right, you always got a crazy cat lady vibe from her

                                            > You sit down while she gets the tea, and Maud lays next to you, putting her forehooves on your lap

                                            > Fluttershy pauses at the sight

                                            > "Oh, so you have already found a comfortmare."

                                            "Ah, no, we just met the other day. We're just hanging out right now."

                                            > She pours you a cup

                                            > "Hanging out? But you are closed up behind those pants..."

                                            > Maud nods

                                            > "You should hang out, Anonymous."

                                            > ...

                                            "Maybe later. The reason why I came here, I assume Twilight told you about my situation?"

                                            > Fluttershy nods and sips from her cup

                                            "I would imagine that you have suggestion for me then."

                                            > "Um, not really. I don't know that many mares, so I really can't help you with that. Maybe a cat would help?"

                                            > You do like cats...

                                            > Huh, you wonder,

                                            "Maud, how do you feel about cats?"

                                            > She looks up at you

                                            > "A cat is fine too."

                                            > Then she drops Boulder in her tea

                                            > Right.

                                            "I think I'll pass, but thanks for thinking of me."

                                            > Fluttershy smiles a little

                                            > "You're welcome, Anon. It's always good to see you."

                                            > You pat Maud's side, and start to get up

                                            > She clambers off somewhat disappointed, you think

                                            "Well, it's been a pleasure. See you around, Fluttershy."

                                            > She walks you to the door

                                            > "Good luck, Anon. I'm sure you'll find a nice mare soon."

                                            > A few more pleasantries, and you are on the road back to town

                                            > As you walk along, you notice something in Maud's mouth

                                            "...Why are you sucking on Boulder?"

                                            > She looks at you and blinks

                                            > Oh yeah,

                                            "To be sexually suggestive?"

                                            > A nod

                                            "Okay."

                                            > After a while, she gets bored of keeping it between her lips, and tucks it into her mouth

                                            > The cheek bulge is... surprisingly successful at being suggestive

                                            > Not that you let on to that fact

                                            > You're walking along, and all you get by way of warning is the flapping of wings

                                            > You brace yourself for impact, and Flitter lightly touches down beside you

                                            > "Are you constipated, Anon? You have a strained look on your face."

                                            > Okay, you can relax

                                            "No, I was just expecting imminent flyby tackle hugs. And how are you?"

                                            > You resume walking down the dirt road

                                            > Flitter trots alongside happily

                                            > "I'm doing well! I got some errands done, and then I saw, oh. Um, Anon? Care to introduce me to your friend?"

                                            "Right, Flitter, this is Pinkie's sister, Maud. Maud, this is one of Rainbow Dash's friends, Flitter."

                                            > Maud blinks

                                            > Flitter glances at you uncertainly, but bravely soldiers on

                                            > "Nice to meet you. If you don't mind me asking, how did you come to know Anon?"

                                            > "I came to his knowledge."

                                            > Flitter looks to you for clarification

                                            "Pinkie Pie introduced us at lunch, and we had a discussion about rocks."

                                            > Maud blushes, but maintains her flat stare

                                            > "A very satisfying discussion."

                                            > Flitter nods slowly

                                            > "Alright, that's... good, I guess."

                                            > "It was very good."

                                            "Okay, so new topic!"

                                            > You are so subtle

                                            "What are both of your plans for the day?"

                                            > Maud blinks

                                            > "You."

                                            > It appears two can play at the subtle game

                                            > Flitter walks a little more stiffly

                                            > You do believe you are sensing an undercurrent

                                            > "Oh, I have the entire afternoon open. I think I can fit Anon into my day just fine."

                                            > Yes, subtle is definitely the right descriptor

                                            "As for myself, I have the feeling Twilight wants to introduce me to somepony, and I would rather cut to the chase than have her spring that on me."

                                            > It takes a couple of seconds for that to sink in

                                            > Flitter stares at you in disbelief, and a bit of betrayal

                                            > "Another one? How many mares do you need to be satisfied?"

                                            > Maud merely frowns, but you sense the sentiment is shared

                                            "Flitter, Maud, let's get one thing clear. I am happily married, and more or less pushed into looking for other mares. If I just end up with a half a dozen new friends, that is an acceptable outcome."

                                            > You can see their hearts ache, and you sigh

                                            "That said, I am open to finding romance as well, as strange as that is to me. Just, give me time, alright?"

                                            > They look a little happier, but still dissatisfied

                                            > Flitter sighs as well

                                            > "That's reasonable."

                                            > Maud puts Boulder back in her saddlebag, then pats your leg

                                            > "Sometimes, life is hard."

                                            > Then pointedly looks at your groin

                                            > "That can be a good thing."

                                            > Yep, all aboard the subtle train

                                            > The sight of the crystal castle puts a bad taste in your mouth

                                            > You can count the number of times you have visited on one hand

                                            > Only the fear of a romance-based Lesson One series of events compels you now

                                            > You knock on the door

                                            > After a second, you hear a muffled bang, and Twilight opens the door

                                            > "Hello, Anon, what can I do fo- oh, that was quick. When would you like the ceremony?"

                                            > Must. Resist. Urge. To. Punch. Princess

                                            > You breathe deeply, and unclench your fist

                                            "I am not even remotely close to a decision yet. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about some things."

                                            > She looks a little confused at that, then shrugs

                                            > "Come on in, then. We can talk in the library."

                                            > It's not nearly as warm and cozy as the treebrary, but the presence of all those books is comforting

                                            > The four of you find some seating, with Maud contentedly lying on the crystal floor

                                            > Twilight smiles at you once everyone is all settled

                                            > "So what did you want to talk about?"

                                            > You clear your throat

                                            "It's about my situation. Did you really have to tell your friends?"

                                            > Twilight tilts her head to the side

                                            > "I thought they were your friends too. I told them because I didn't want them to make an insensitive comment by mistake."

                                            > ...

                                            > Oh.

                                            > You chuckle weakly

                                            "That... was kind of you. Sadly, some of yo- our friends lack your discretion."

                                            > Twilight's confusion is replaced with consternation

                                            > "Pinkie Pie?"

                                            "And Rainbow Dash. Though, I have to say, it turned out well."

                                            > Flitter smiles at that

                                            > Twilight sighs

                                            > "At least there is that. Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

                                            > Might as well

                                            "Oddly enough, I feel a bit better about this. Do you have a pony to recommend as well?"

                                            > Princess Sparkle shakes her head

                                            > "I don't know you well enough, so I'll just leave it up to you."

                                            > Good answer, Princess

                                            > You stand up and smile at her

                                            "I appreciate that. Well, thanks for your time, I'm sure we both have things we should be doing."

                                            > Twilight smiles

                                            > "I always have time to help out a friend. In fact, it'd be nice if you would visit more often, I'd love to get the human perspective on friendships."

                                            > ...

                                            "I'll... do what I can."

                                            > As you leave the castle, you feel like you are more in control of your life

                                            > You only have two mares jealously competing for your hand in marriage, and most of the other ponies are respecting your space

                                            > Yes, things are looking up


                                            > There is a mare in front of your hotel room door

                                            > She gives you a business card

                                            > "Hello, my name is Coco Pommel, professional assistant. Rarity mentioned that you had an opening?"

                                            > ... Damn it, Rarity

                                            "Yes, about that..."

                                            > Coco catches sight of the other two mares

                                            > She droops a little, and you notice a suitcase around the corner

                                            "You're hired."

                                            > Her eyes go wide

                                            > "You mean it? I mean, don't you want to see my resume first, and there's the interview, and-"

                                            > You put a finger to her lips

                                            > She quiets down and blushes

                                            "Rarity is a good judge of character. Now let's get you situated. For the time being, how about you move into the room next to mine?"

                                            > Coco blinks

                                            >"Thank you, sir, shall I-"

                                            "Don't worry, I own the place."