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Santa Mare

By Uh-hmmm
Created: 21st December 2020 03:35:14 AM

  1. > Be Santa Mare
  2. > You should be glad that so many ponies have been good these past years
  3. > And you are, but it also means that you have a huge stockpile of coal with nowhere to go
  4. > You stopped your parasprite minions from mining the stuff years ago
  5. > You needed the extra labor to keep up toy production
  6. > You sigh, stretching out the ol' withers and flank
  7. > Well, it's that time of year again, better check the lists
  8. > Nice list is literally a mile long
  9. > Yeah, you're only checking it once
  10. > A parasprite bumps into you, helpfully carrying a little slip of paper
  11. > Naughty List, blanks as alw-
  12. > Hold up
  13. > Who is Anonymous?
  14.  
  15. > Be Anonymous, pretending to sleep
  16. > In your time in Equestria, you've noticed ponies are unbelievably gullible
  17. > You feel a little guilty about the"gotcha nose" incident, and that time with the thumb trick
  18. > Luckily, you convinced them it was all a dream, so now it's Luna's problem
  19. > Which brings you to now, where you are lying in wait for whatever Santa equivalent little horse land has
  20. > Stocking?
  21. > Hung like a horse
  22. > Tree?
  23. > Twinkly and ribboned up
  24. > Plate of cookies and glass of milk?
  25. > The absolute best chocolate chip cookies you can make from the recipe on the chocolate chip bag
  26. > And an oatmeal raisin cookie, because you can
  27. > Milk in a wine glass
  28. > Bed?
  29. > You are camped out by the fireplace in a sleeping bag, with your trusty teddy bear
  30. > Time for your flawless acting
  31. "Honk, choo, honk, choo."
  32. > That's the sound of sleep, no mistake
  33. > After a few minutes, you hear the telltale sound of hoofsteps on the roof
  34. > Showtime
  35. > You hear rustling from the fireplace, then a thump
  36. > A pause
  37. > "I know you're awake."
  38. > What a nice, mature female voice
  39. > But she's bluffing
  40. > "I'm not bluffing."
  41. > Damn, she wins this round
  42. > You make a big show of yawning and running your eyes
  43. > Looks like Santa Mare is something of a silver cougar, with the toned and slender body of a Canterlot socialite, under a loose red cloak that stops just short of the curve of her flank
  44. > Nice
  45. "Nice to meet you, Santa. Would you like some milk and cookies?"
  46. > She smiles wryly
  47. > "Don't mind if I do. Now let's see..."
  48. > Silvery light plucks the oatmeal raisin cookie from the plate
  49. > "Oatmeal raisin, really?"
  50. "Well,"
  51. > "It's nice to have some variety, but who do you think you're fooling?"
  52. > You have the distinct feeling that you may not be on the nice list anymore
  53. "It was worth a try. How is it, by the way?"
  54. > She takes a bite, her eyebrows rising
  55. > "This actually pretty good. Do you have more?"
  56. "Uh, yeah, just a moment."
  57. > You retrieve a plateful from the fridge, setting it before Santa
  58. > She eyes the glass of milk
  59. > "I bet you even jizzed in the milk, eh?"
  60. > What?
  61. > She lifts it in her magic, swirling the glass contemplatively
  62. "Actually,"
  63. > Santa Mare tilts her head back and drinks it all in one gulp
  64. > ...
  65. > She then looks at you with half-lidded eyes, licking her lips
  66. > "I have a proposition for you, you naughty colt."
  67. > You are standing at attention, in all sorts of ways
  68. "What do you have in mind?"
  69. > She takes a sinuous step towards you
  70. > "I have a lot of coal I need to get rid of, and exactly one person on the naughty list."
  71. > Santa takes another step towards you, her flank shifting hypnotically
  72. > "I'm going to need you to stay on that naughty list, and get coal every year."
  73. > Her cloak unfastens, slipping to the floor
  74. > She rears up, placing her hooves on your chest
  75. > "But don't worry."
  76. > She nuzzles your neck
  77. > "We'll be naughty together."
  78. > You grin, grabbing her by the haunches
  79. "You give me coal, I'll give you diamonds."
  80. > She hums sensuously, her plush rump shifting in your hands
  81. > Her eyes gaze at you with a terrifying hunger
  82. > "It's such short notice, it's fine if you don't wrap your package."
  83. > And that's how you became Father Christmas in Equestria
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