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To be One of Three (RGRE)

By Uh-hmmm
Created: 21st December 2020 04:04:49 AM

  1. > Be Ashley, with your friends at a bar
  2. > Samantha just got a raise after several of her articles on the "Equestrian problem" went viral, so you came along to celebrate with her
  3. > Truth be told, you kind of wish you were back home, watching anime and crocheting stuffed animals
  4. > Nevertheless, you know you need to be more social, it's not like you meet many people at work shelving in the library
  5. > So here you are, sipping a white wine and nodding along as Sam and Trisha talk
  6. > You self-consciously smooth out your skirt
  7. > Sam is so pretty, with her long, wavy dark hair and perfectly tanned skin, and a strapless navy dress that clings to her curves
  8. > And Trisha is just as beautiful, with her straight platinum blonde hair in a sporty ponytail, her backless red halter top emphasizing her bust and showing  more skin than you think you ever could
  9. > And then there is you, a little too tall, but that's the only thing that sticks out about you
  10. > Shoulder height brown hair, a boring white turtleneck, and blue maxi skirt that would be floor length on anyone else but only calf length on you
  11. > You feel like you're still a teenager, hanging out with popular girls who took pity on you
  12. > "You know Mark, from the shipping department?"
  13. > You tune back into the discussion just as Sam leans forward
  14. > "The one with the big, strong arms?"
  15. > Trish puts her hand palm down on the table
  16. > "You'll never guess what happened to him!"
  17. > You frown, hoping he's okay
  18. > He sounds nice, from what you've heard of him
  19. > Sam grins
  20. > "Did his pants split open again?"
  21. > Trish rolls her eyes
  22. > "I wish. No, he's getting married. To a pony."
  23. > Sam makes a face
  24. > "Ugh, really? I didn't think he was that desperate."
  25. > You resist the urge to roll your eyes
  26. > You haven't met that many ponies, but they've all been very nice and polite, and undeniably cute so far
  27. > Trish shrugs
  28. > "I've met his fiance, a complete tomboy. You'd think she was butch if it wasn't for him."
  29. > Sam shakes her head
  30. > "No accounting for taste."
  31. > Trish turns to you, an inquisitive look on her face
  32. > "Hey Ash, you probably know more about them. Do they have more or less lesbians than we do?"
  33. > You smile, glad to be included in the conversation
  34. "It's not exactly clear. The female experience in their culture is far more bisexual than with humans, so while they report a smaller proportion of lesbians in the population, there may be lesbians in herds and such that don't admit to their orientation, due to social stigma or other such reasons."
  35. > Sam huffs
  36. > "For all that they talk about friendship and harmony, they could learn a thing or two about tolerance."
  37. > You shrug
  38. > It's more complicated than that, but you don't want to make Sam angrier by trying to argue about the nuances, especially not while getting drunk
  39. > The door opens, letting in a gust of cold air
  40. > You glance at the person who walks in, a cute guy in a vertically striped blue and white shirt and black slacks
  41. > He pauses by the door, and a purple unicorn trots in after him
  42. > You glance at your friends, and you can tell they saw the pony too
  43. > Sam rolls her eyes and Trish sends you a knowing smile
  44. > "Tourists, right?"
  45. > You shrug
  46. "Could be."
  47. > Sam shifts in her seat
  48. > "Hey, I need to use the restroom, could one of you watch my drinks?"
  49. > Trish starts to get up
  50. > "Now that you mention it... Ash, could you keep an eye on mine too?"
  51. > You nod with a smile
  52. "Sure thing. I'll make sure only handsome guys roofie you two."
  53. > They giggle and walk off, turning more than a few heads
  54. > You sigh and settle in for a bit of a wait
  55. > Your thumb rubs the clasp of your purse, and it takes a small act of will not to fish your phone out
  56. > You're out here to socialize, not to waste time reading or rereading manga or posting in discord
  57. > Right?
  58. > Right.
  59. > You take your hand off your purse and opt to sip your wine
  60. > ...in retrospect, maybe not the best substitution, but oh well
  61. > You glance around the bar and your eyes are drawn to the pony
  62. > She seems to be sniffing the air
  63. > You wonder how much in common human made alcohol has with the Equestrian equivalent
  64. > The articles you read about them were mostly about gender and sexuality, not dietary differences
  65. > Then the unicorn starts trotting towards you, her boyfriend trailing behind
  66. > Crap, were you staring?
  67. > You attempt an inoffensive smile
  68. > You guess you succeeded, since she beams at you
  69. > "Hello, nice to meet you. My name's Twilight Sparkle and this is Nemo. Is it alright if we talk with you for a bit?"
  70. > Sam and Trish will probably be another 10 minutes, so you shrug
  71. "I'm Ashley and I don't mind."
  72. > Twilight smiles
  73. > "Thanks!"
  74. > She climbs onto a chair to your right, and Nemo sits to the right of her
  75. > You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear
  76. "So, uh, why did you want to talk to me?"
  77. > The pony flicks her ears a few times
  78. > "Well, I am always interested in talking to humans, but you also smell of books. Old books too."
  79. > Blood drains from your face
  80. "I do?"
  81. > You serruptiitiously sniff your shoulder
  82. > It smells like cloth?
  83. > Twilight giggles
  84. > "It's a good thing! It reminds me of the library back at home."
  85. > You relax a little
  86. "Well, I do work at a library, so, well sniffed I guess. If you don't mind me asking, what do you two do for work?"
  87. > Twilight hesitates
  88. > Nemo gives her a wry smile, then turns to you
  89. > "I'm her househusband, though I am working on a novel. Twilight is the leader of a magical emergency response team."
  90. > Twilight ruffles her wings
  91. > "Well, there's bit more to it than that, but it is a good summary of my job."
  92. > You raise your eyebrows inquisitively
  93. "So, like putting out fires, or fighting Godzilla or..."
  94. > The mare waggles her head
  95. > "If the fire is big enough, or if I'm nearby, but we usually let the firefighters do their job. I'm not sure what Godzilla is, but we do fight large monsters, rampaging sorcerers, and so on. Luckily, there isn't much need for all that, so we have plenty of freedom to pursue our passions."
  96. > You are rather impressed
  97. "That must be nice, it sounds much more exciting than being a librarian's assistant."
  98. > Twilight looks troubled
  99. > "Do you... not like working in a library?"
  100. > You shake your head
  101. "I like it a lot, actually. It's just not as impressive as what you or what my friends do for a living."
  102. > The unicorn nods solemnly
  103. > "I know how that is. The minute a stallion heard I was a librarian, they lost all interest."
  104. > Nemo wraps an arm around her and grins
  105. > "And now that she's famous, only gold diggers like me will talk to her."
  106. > Twilight rolls her eyes
  107. > "I'm pretty sure you have it backwards, considering all the times you talk about bouncing coins off of my butt."
  108. > Nemo shrugs shamelessly
  109. > "You have a good butt."
  110. > You giggle at Twilight's slight blush
  111. "Posterior appreciation aside, how did you two meet?"
  112. > The mare regains some of her composure
  113. > "Nemo was actually my first contact with humans. Our portal opened up in the middle of his uncle's horse ranch."
  114. > Nemo nods with a smile
  115. "It's been in my family for generations, and taking care of horses is a lot of fun."
  116. > Twilight's eyelids droop
  117. > "He's really good at it too. Brushing my mane, giving me a good scrub down..."
  118. > She shivers happily
  119. > "It's like he was trained to be the best househusband a mare could ask for."
  120. > Nemo blushes and looks down
  121. > "You're exaggerating."
  122. > Twilight nuzzles his cheek, and you can't help but smile at how cute they are together
  123. > She turns back to you
  124. > "So I show up out of nowhere, and he immediately starts grooming me and complimenting me. It took me a bit to give the whole, 'we come in pursuit of harmony and knowledge' speech, and do you know what he said?"
  125. > Nemo groans, covering his face
  126. > You grin and lean forward
  127. "What did he say?"
  128. > Twilight pats him comfortingly on the shoulder
  129. > "Holy shit! A talking horse!"
  130. > You giggle helplessly, with Twilight joining in for a bit
  131. > When Nemo decides to stop acting embarrassed and merely glares at his wife, it merely sets you off again
  132. > She kisses him on the cheek
  133. > "Love you, dear."
  134. > He huffs
  135. > "Love you too."
  136. > You wipe your eyes, sighing happily
  137. "Well, I'm happy for you. You make a cute couple."
  138. > Nemo smiles a little at that, but Twilight gives you a measuring look
  139. > "About that... what do you think about herds, from a human perspective?"
  140. > You absently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear
  141. "It's hard to say. I think humans have a natural tendency towards polyamory, even if modern human culture is generally opposed to it. So it's neat to see polyamory as a cultural tradition with a long history."
  142. > Twilight exchanges a glance with Nemo, who shrugs
  143. > You raise an eyebrow
  144. "I'm guessing you are looking for a human to join your herd, then?"
  145. > Nemo blushes, but Twilight merely smiles and nods
  146. > "Good guess. We want foals, but even magic can only do so much about the biological distance between our species."
  147. > You chew on your lip
  148. "You could get a surrogate mother, if all you want is children. Or maybe adoption."
  149. > The unicorn snorts
  150. > "I'm not into cuckoldry."
  151. > You blink
  152. "We have artificial insemination, so he wouldn't be having sex with someone else to get a child."
  153. > Twilight shakes her head
  154. > "We'd still have a child with mother that isn't around, that isn't working to support the herd. I want a real family, and I want a herd sister."
  155. > Oh
  156. > It's an odd viewpoint, but you sort of get it
  157. "I see, a herd with familial bonds outside of it is...unstable? And since mares are the breadwinners, mothers who don't contribute to the herd are irresponsible, or maybe even adulterous."
  158. > The mare nods
  159. > "Even if all the mares in the herd are infertile or something, it still rankles to have a stranger for your foal's mother. So. You interested?"
  160. > You blink
  161. "In what?"
  162. > Twilight has an amused smile
  163. > "In maybe joining our herd."
  164. > Your jaw drops and you stare at her
  165. > Nemo shifts uncomfortably
  166. > "We'd go on dates, first, to see if we get along. Assuming you want to."
  167. > You feel your face start to heat up
  168. "I, uh, that sounds...okay, I'm...sure?"
  169. > Twilight leans over and whispers in your ear
  170. > "He's got a big dick."
  171. > You go beet red and squeak
  172. > Nemo raises his eyebrows at his wife
  173. > "What did you say to her?"
  174. > Twilight smiles at him sweetly
  175. > "Just something between mares, dear."
  176. > Then she levitates a card out of her saddlebag and places it on the table in front of you
  177. > "I'm sure it's a lot to think about, so we'll leave you to it. Call us when you have decided what you want to do."
  178. > Your hand trembles as you pick up the card
  179. "I, uh, I will."
  180. > Twilight beams at you, then hops off the chair
  181. > Nemo gives you an apologetic smile and a wave, then follows Twilight out of the bar
  182. > You look down at the business card in your hand
  183. > [Twilight Sparkle, Element of Harmony ]
  184. > [800-85-867-5309]
  185. > So
  186. > That just happened
  187. > In retrospect, it was kind of obvious they were interested in you
  188. > For whatever reason
  189. > Maybe because you aren't assertive, and have a working womb?
  190. > But you don't really believe that, Twilight was more interested in your job than anything else
  191. > And you do wonder what an Equestrian library was like
  192. > Sam and Trish return and share a glance at how preoccupied you are
  193. > Trish taps you on the shoulder
  194. > "Something happen while we were gone?"
  195. > You card your fingers through your hair
  196. "Oh, nothing much, just got asked out by a married couple."
  197. > Sam blinks, then does a quick scan of the room
  198. > She raises her eyebrow at you
  199. > "The guy and the pony?"
  200. > You nod
  201. > Trish frowns
  202. > "Were they creepy or something?"
  203. > You shake your head, smiling to yourself
  204. "No, they were cute, and interesting, and-"
  205. > You can't help but blush when you remember what Twilight whispered to you
  206. > Sam smirks
  207. > "Sounds like fun. You'll have to let us meet them, if this works out."
  208. > You give her a mock glare
  209. "You just want more material for your articles."
  210. > Sam waves her hand dismissively
  211. "If it just so happens that looking out for my friend also gets me access to exclusive interviews with an interspecies marriage, that's not my fault. But seriously, let us know if you want to talk about it or whatever. We're here for you."
  212. > Trish nods firmly
  213. > You smile at your friends
  214. "Thanks girls, it means a lot to me. But I have a good feeling about this, so it probably won't come to that."
  215. > The rest of the night is filled with drinking, dancing, gossiping, and watching your friends flirt
  216. > Any other night, you would feel left behind and ignored
  217. > You finger the business card in your purse, and smile
  218. > You were definitely noticed tonight, and you look forward to where that will take you
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