To be One of Three (RGRE)


                                            > Be Ashley, with your friends at a bar

                                            > Samantha just got a raise after several of her articles on the "Equestrian problem" went viral, so you came along to celebrate with her

                                            > Truth be told, you kind of wish you were back home, watching anime and crocheting stuffed animals

                                            > Nevertheless, you know you need to be more social, it's not like you meet many people at work shelving in the library

                                            > So here you are, sipping a white wine and nodding along as Sam and Trisha talk

                                            > You self-consciously smooth out your skirt

                                            > Sam is so pretty, with her long, wavy dark hair and perfectly tanned skin, and a strapless navy dress that clings to her curves

                                            > And Trisha is just as beautiful, with her straight platinum blonde hair in a sporty ponytail, her backless red halter top emphasizing her bust and showing  more skin than you think you ever could

                                            > And then there is you, a little too tall, but that's the only thing that sticks out about you

                                            > Shoulder height brown hair, a boring white turtleneck, and blue maxi skirt that would be floor length on anyone else but only calf length on you

                                            > You feel like you're still a teenager, hanging out with popular girls who took pity on you

                                            > "You know Mark, from the shipping department?"

                                            > You tune back into the discussion just as Sam leans forward

                                            > "The one with the big, strong arms?"

                                            > Trish puts her hand palm down on the table

                                            > "You'll never guess what happened to him!"

                                            > You frown, hoping he's okay

                                            > He sounds nice, from what you've heard of him

                                            > Sam grins

                                            > "Did his pants split open again?"

                                            > Trish rolls her eyes

                                            > "I wish. No, he's getting married. To a pony."

                                            > Sam makes a face

                                            > "Ugh, really? I didn't think he was that desperate."

                                            > You resist the urge to roll your eyes

                                            > You haven't met that many ponies, but they've all been very nice and polite, and undeniably cute so far

                                            > Trish shrugs

                                            > "I've met his fiance, a complete tomboy. You'd think she was butch if it wasn't for him."

                                            > Sam shakes her head

                                            > "No accounting for taste."

                                            > Trish turns to you, an inquisitive look on her face

                                            > "Hey Ash, you probably know more about them. Do they have more or less lesbians than we do?"

                                            > You smile, glad to be included in the conversation

                                            "It's not exactly clear. The female experience in their culture is far more bisexual than with humans, so while they report a smaller proportion of lesbians in the population, there may be lesbians in herds and such that don't admit to their orientation, due to social stigma or other such reasons."

                                            > Sam huffs

                                            > "For all that they talk about friendship and harmony, they could learn a thing or two about tolerance."

                                            > You shrug

                                            > It's more complicated than that, but you don't want to make Sam angrier by trying to argue about the nuances, especially not while getting drunk

                                            > The door opens, letting in a gust of cold air

                                            > You glance at the person who walks in, a cute guy in a vertically striped blue and white shirt and black slacks

                                            > He pauses by the door, and a purple unicorn trots in after him

                                            > You glance at your friends, and you can tell they saw the pony too

                                            > Sam rolls her eyes and Trish sends you a knowing smile

                                            > "Tourists, right?"

                                            > You shrug

                                            "Could be."

                                            > Sam shifts in her seat

                                            > "Hey, I need to use the restroom, could one of you watch my drinks?"

                                            > Trish starts to get up

                                            > "Now that you mention it... Ash, could you keep an eye on mine too?"

                                            > You nod with a smile

                                            "Sure thing. I'll make sure only handsome guys roofie you two."

                                            > They giggle and walk off, turning more than a few heads

                                            > You sigh and settle in for a bit of a wait

                                            > Your thumb rubs the clasp of your purse, and it takes a small act of will not to fish your phone out

                                            > You're out here to socialize, not to waste time reading or rereading manga or posting in discord

                                            > Right?

                                            > Right.

                                            > You take your hand off your purse and opt to sip your wine

                                            > ...in retrospect, maybe not the best substitution, but oh well

                                            > You glance around the bar and your eyes are drawn to the pony

                                            > She seems to be sniffing the air

                                            > You wonder how much in common human made alcohol has with the Equestrian equivalent

                                            > The articles you read about them were mostly about gender and sexuality, not dietary differences

                                            > Then the unicorn starts trotting towards you, her boyfriend trailing behind

                                            > Crap, were you staring?

                                            > You attempt an inoffensive smile

                                            > You guess you succeeded, since she beams at you

                                            > "Hello, nice to meet you. My name's Twilight Sparkle and this is Nemo. Is it alright if we talk with you for a bit?"

                                            > Sam and Trish will probably be another 10 minutes, so you shrug

                                            "I'm Ashley and I don't mind."

                                            > Twilight smiles

                                            > "Thanks!"

                                            > She climbs onto a chair to your right, and Nemo sits to the right of her

                                            > You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

                                            "So, uh, why did you want to talk to me?"

                                            > The pony flicks her ears a few times

                                            > "Well, I am always interested in talking to humans, but you also smell of books. Old books too."

                                            > Blood drains from your face

                                            "I do?"

                                            > You serruptiitiously sniff your shoulder

                                            > It smells like cloth?

                                            > Twilight giggles

                                            > "It's a good thing! It reminds me of the library back at home."

                                            > You relax a little

                                            "Well, I do work at a library, so, well sniffed I guess. If you don't mind me asking, what do you two do for work?"

                                            > Twilight hesitates

                                            > Nemo gives her a wry smile, then turns to you

                                            > "I'm her househusband, though I am working on a novel. Twilight is the leader of a magical emergency response team."

                                            > Twilight ruffles her wings

                                            > "Well, there's bit more to it than that, but it is a good summary of my job."

                                            > You raise your eyebrows inquisitively

                                            "So, like putting out fires, or fighting Godzilla or..."

                                            > The mare waggles her head

                                            > "If the fire is big enough, or if I'm nearby, but we usually let the firefighters do their job. I'm not sure what Godzilla is, but we do fight large monsters, rampaging sorcerers, and so on. Luckily, there isn't much need for all that, so we have plenty of freedom to pursue our passions."

                                            > You are rather impressed

                                            "That must be nice, it sounds much more exciting than being a librarian's assistant."

                                            > Twilight looks troubled

                                            > "Do you... not like working in a library?"

                                            > You shake your head

                                            "I like it a lot, actually. It's just not as impressive as what you or what my friends do for a living."

                                            > The unicorn nods solemnly

                                            > "I know how that is. The minute a stallion heard I was a librarian, they lost all interest."

                                            > Nemo wraps an arm around her and grins

                                            > "And now that she's famous, only gold diggers like me will talk to her."

                                            > Twilight rolls her eyes

                                            > "I'm pretty sure you have it backwards, considering all the times you talk about bouncing coins off of my butt."

                                            > Nemo shrugs shamelessly

                                            > "You have a good butt."

                                            > You giggle at Twilight's slight blush

                                            "Posterior appreciation aside, how did you two meet?"

                                            > The mare regains some of her composure

                                            > "Nemo was actually my first contact with humans. Our portal opened up in the middle of his uncle's horse ranch."

                                            > Nemo nods with a smile

                                            "It's been in my family for generations, and taking care of horses is a lot of fun."

                                            > Twilight's eyelids droop

                                            > "He's really good at it too. Brushing my mane, giving me a good scrub down..."

                                            > She shivers happily

                                            > "It's like he was trained to be the best househusband a mare could ask for."

                                            > Nemo blushes and looks down

                                            > "You're exaggerating."

                                            > Twilight nuzzles his cheek, and you can't help but smile at how cute they are together

                                            > She turns back to you

                                            > "So I show up out of nowhere, and he immediately starts grooming me and complimenting me. It took me a bit to give the whole, 'we come in pursuit of harmony and knowledge' speech, and do you know what he said?"

                                            > Nemo groans, covering his face

                                            > You grin and lean forward

                                            "What did he say?"

                                            > Twilight pats him comfortingly on the shoulder

                                            > "Holy shit! A talking horse!"

                                            > You giggle helplessly, with Twilight joining in for a bit

                                            > When Nemo decides to stop acting embarrassed and merely glares at his wife, it merely sets you off again

                                            > She kisses him on the cheek

                                            > "Love you, dear."

                                            > He huffs

                                            > "Love you too."

                                            > You wipe your eyes, sighing happily

                                            "Well, I'm happy for you. You make a cute couple."

                                            > Nemo smiles a little at that, but Twilight gives you a measuring look

                                            > "About that... what do you think about herds, from a human perspective?"

                                            > You absently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

                                            "It's hard to say. I think humans have a natural tendency towards polyamory, even if modern human culture is generally opposed to it. So it's neat to see polyamory as a cultural tradition with a long history."

                                            > Twilight exchanges a glance with Nemo, who shrugs

                                            > You raise an eyebrow

                                            "I'm guessing you are looking for a human to join your herd, then?"

                                            > Nemo blushes, but Twilight merely smiles and nods

                                            > "Good guess. We want foals, but even magic can only do so much about the biological distance between our species."

                                            > You chew on your lip

                                            "You could get a surrogate mother, if all you want is children. Or maybe adoption."

                                            > The unicorn snorts

                                            > "I'm not into cuckoldry."

                                            > You blink

                                            "We have artificial insemination, so he wouldn't be having sex with someone else to get a child."

                                            > Twilight shakes her head

                                            > "We'd still have a child with mother that isn't around, that isn't working to support the herd. I want a real family, and I want a herd sister."

                                            > Oh

                                            > It's an odd viewpoint, but you sort of get it

                                            "I see, a herd with familial bonds outside of it is...unstable? And since mares are the breadwinners, mothers who don't contribute to the herd are irresponsible, or maybe even adulterous."

                                            > The mare nods

                                            > "Even if all the mares in the herd are infertile or something, it still rankles to have a stranger for your foal's mother. So. You interested?"

                                            > You blink

                                            "In what?"

                                            > Twilight has an amused smile

                                            > "In maybe joining our herd."

                                            > Your jaw drops and you stare at her

                                            > Nemo shifts uncomfortably

                                            > "We'd go on dates, first, to see if we get along. Assuming you want to."

                                            > You feel your face start to heat up

                                            "I, uh, that sounds...okay, I'm...sure?"

                                            > Twilight leans over and whispers in your ear

                                            > "He's got a big dick."

                                            > You go beet red and squeak

                                            > Nemo raises his eyebrows at his wife

                                            > "What did you say to her?"

                                            > Twilight smiles at him sweetly

                                            > "Just something between mares, dear."

                                            > Then she levitates a card out of her saddlebag and places it on the table in front of you

                                            > "I'm sure it's a lot to think about, so we'll leave you to it. Call us when you have decided what you want to do."

                                            > Your hand trembles as you pick up the card

                                            "I, uh, I will."

                                            > Twilight beams at you, then hops off the chair

                                            > Nemo gives you an apologetic smile and a wave, then follows Twilight out of the bar

                                            > You look down at the business card in your hand

                                            > [Twilight Sparkle, Element of Harmony ]

                                            > [800-85-867-5309]

                                            > So

                                            > That just happened

                                            > In retrospect, it was kind of obvious they were interested in you

                                            > For whatever reason

                                            > Maybe because you aren't assertive, and have a working womb?

                                            > But you don't really believe that, Twilight was more interested in your job than anything else

                                            > And you do wonder what an Equestrian library was like

                                            > Sam and Trish return and share a glance at how preoccupied you are

                                            > Trish taps you on the shoulder

                                            > "Something happen while we were gone?"

                                            > You card your fingers through your hair

                                            "Oh, nothing much, just got asked out by a married couple."

                                            > Sam blinks, then does a quick scan of the room

                                            > She raises her eyebrow at you

                                            > "The guy and the pony?"

                                            > You nod

                                            > Trish frowns

                                            > "Were they creepy or something?"

                                            > You shake your head, smiling to yourself

                                            "No, they were cute, and interesting, and-"

                                            > You can't help but blush when you remember what Twilight whispered to you

                                            > Sam smirks

                                            > "Sounds like fun. You'll have to let us meet them, if this works out."

                                            > You give her a mock glare

                                            "You just want more material for your articles."

                                            > Sam waves her hand dismissively

                                            "If it just so happens that looking out for my friend also gets me access to exclusive interviews with an interspecies marriage, that's not my fault. But seriously, let us know if you want to talk about it or whatever. We're here for you."

                                            > Trish nods firmly

                                            > You smile at your friends

                                            "Thanks girls, it means a lot to me. But I have a good feeling about this, so it probably won't come to that."

                                            > The rest of the night is filled with drinking, dancing, gossiping, and watching your friends flirt

                                            > Any other night, you would feel left behind and ignored

                                            > You finger the business card in your purse, and smile

                                            > You were definitely noticed tonight, and you look forward to where that will take you