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My Little Pony : Forevermore Inverse Morning Chapter 1 (1/10/2017)

By DisgruntledAnon
Created: 2020-12-24 23:31:32
Expiry: Never
anonpinkie piesafecyoaspikekingdom heartsmlpkh

  1. >You find yourself falling through an infinite black void, rushing towards a pinpoint of light below.
  2. >You can feel yourself slowing down as you approach it, finally coming to a gentle stop as your feet find purchase on a solid surface.
  3. >As you find your footing there is a burst of light at the center of the large platform and the shadows shrouding its surface are blown away like the dead ashes clogging a long abandoned fireplace by that brief flash of radiance.
  4. >Rubbing the spots from your eyes you take a second look from your surroundings and find yourself standing on what appears to be a huge flat stained glass platform.
  5. >The brilliant purple panes of glass display numerous faces, but what commands your attention is a lavender pony depicted in gentle repose against the backdrop of a quaint home built into the trunk of a large tree.
  6. >Before you have time to question the strange circumstances you find yourself in a voice fills your mind leaving the silence of the dark expanse around you unbroken.
  7. 「So much to do, so little time…」
  8. 「Even less now with how much we’ve been dawdling…」
  9. 「Take your time. Don’t be afraid.」
  10. 「The door is still shut. Now, step forward. Can you do it?」
  11. >As the voice finishes speaking you follow its instructions stepping forward into the light shining down onto the center of the platform.
  12. > As you step into the light three bright nebulae of pure light flare into existence and just as quickly fade away leaving behind a trio of ornate stone pedestals in their place
  13. >Above each pedestal a weapon floats suspended in space, a sword, a shield, and a staff.
  14. >The voice begins to speak once more, the soundless sound seeming to emanate from each of the weapons before fading away.
  15. 「Power sleeps within you…」
  16. 「If you give it form…」
  17. 「It will give you strength. Choose well」
  18. >You approach the staff.
  19. >The voice fills your mind as you grip the weapon by its smooth green haft and cradle the heavy blue cluster of exquisitely cut sapphires at the weapon’s head.
  20. 「The power of the mystic.」
  21. 「Inner strength.」
  22. 「A staff of wonder and ruin.」
  23. 「Is this the power you seek?」
  24. >The voice asks you as you consider the potential that lies within the rod.
  25. >Whatever power held it in place takes hold, once again suspending it above its pedestal as you set down the staff and make your way over to the shield.
  26. >You grab the curved black shield by its vibrant red rim as the voice fills your head once again
  27. 「The power of the guardian」
  28. 「Kindness to aid friends.」
  29. 「A shield to repel all.」
  30. 「Is this the power you seek?」
  31. >You stare down at sturdy bulwark in your hands, its weight somehow comforting as you consider the possibilities it offers.
  32. >You return to the staff and wrap your fingers around the cool green lacquered wood and shout into the void, your voice muffled by the infinite shadowy expanse around you
  33. "This is the power I seek!"
  34. >As you make your choice the weapon in your hand is consumed in a flash of light and vanishes as the voice speaks once more
  35. 「Your path is set.」
  36. 「Now, what will you give up in exchange?」
  37. >The voice asks, its silent speech seeming to echo out from the two remaining weapons.
  38. >You turn towards the remaining weapons with a new choice to make
  39. >You walk over to the sword and pick it up; the voice filling your mind as you grasp the soft black leather of the sword’s grip.
  40. 「The power of the warrior.」
  41. 「Invincible Courage.」
  42. 「A sword of terrible destruction.」
  43. 「You give up this power?」
  44. "Yes"
  45. >You reply, your voice echoing flatly in the infinite abyss surrounding the lone pillar of light you find yourself perched on.
  46. 「You’ve chosen the power of the mystic. You’ve given up the power of the warrior. Is this the form you choose?」
  47. 「This is the last chance you’ll have to change your mind.」
  48. "I’m sure already, just get on with it!"
  49. >You shout up into the void, impatiently.
  50. >As soon as the words are out of your mouth liquid shadow begins to rain down on you out of the void, covering your platform and leaving you in complete darkness.
  51. >You stumble around in the inky blackness until finally you see a column off in the distance, this one awash with a comforting orange glow emanating from the windows ringing the pillar as it stretches off down into the murky darkness below .
  52. >Finally, make your way to the platform and the voice begins speaking again as step foot on the sunset tinged glass.
  53. 「You’ve gained the power to fight.」
  54. >The rod you chose earlier appears in your hand in a flash of light.
  55. >The voice continues as you take a few practice swings
  56. 「There will be times when you need to defend yourself, keep your light burning strong」
  57. >As it finishes speaking the shadows swirling at the edge of the pillar on seem to come alive and begin slithering towards you across the glass.
  58. >The shadows pull themselves up off the floor as they approach and reveal themselves to be a small pack of knee high pitch black creatures with curly black antennae and glowing yellow eyes.
  59. >They would almost be cute were it not for their unnatural herky jerky movement and the way they were slowly, almost hungrily, advancing towards you.
  60.  
  61. [Combat: Since Kingdom Hearts was originally an action rpg I have two modes of combat prepared for you to use: Direct combat and Stance combat.
  62.  
  63. Direct combat plays out like typical table top combat where each party member and each enemy get a set number of actions per turn. This play style gives you extremely granular control over anon and company but can be on the slow side.
  64.  
  65. Stance combat on the other hand puts anon and his party into a stance where they all behave according to specific patterns. In aggressive anon takes point physically and is supported by is allies. In defensive anon intercepts attacks and defends his party members while waiting for openings to get in a decisive blow. In the Analytical stance Anon supports his party with buffs and healing while peppering his enemies with magic. His spot on the back lines also allows him bonuses to noticing enemy weak spots. Certain enemies are dealt with more effectively by certain stances, and you can order specific tactics anon might follow or unique maneuvers to work into his attack pattern but you won’t need to tell anon every last move he has to make.
  66.  
  67. Hopefully this will create a faster paced more kinetic combat than the turn based alternative. You are of course free to change back and forth at any time.]
  68.  
  69. "For Glory!"
  70. >You shout, as you brandish your shiny new rod and rush the nearest skittering black gremlin.
  71. >It leaps at you as you charge, but you plant your feet, grip the short staff like a baseball bat and catch the inky little abomination square in its bulbous black head as you swing.
  72. >It goes sailing across the platform hitting the ground with a wet squish and explodes in a puff of black smoke.
  73. >You pump your fist as you watch the creature explode, but your collect yourself as you notice one of the creatures sink into the floor, sliding beneath your feet and taking up position behind you.
  74. >The two remaining shadows leap at you.
  75. >You’re able to raise your rod in time to deflect the first one harmlessly knocking away its grasping claws with the haft of your weapon.
  76. >However, you aren’t quite so lucky defending against the second shadow.
  77. >it manages to leap in just as you’re knocking its cohort aside and manages to scratch your shoulder with its crooked black claws.
  78. >Fortunately, although it tears a hole in the shoulder of your shirt the wound itself is shallow, you’ve had worse injuries on the job back a... wherever it was you worked
  79. >If you weren’t in the middle of a fight you might find that a bit more concerning.
  80.  
  81. Status
  82.  
  83. Anon: 10/11 HP
  84. Shadow 1: ??? HP (submerged)
  85. Shadow 2: ??? HP
  86. Shadow 3: ??? HP
  87.  
  88. [Combat part 2: When working in either direct or stance combat mode you aren't restricted to giving anon or his party members simple attack commands, you can also try to use maneuvers.
  89.  
  90. Maneuvers are special actions described by you that mix up anons fighting style.
  91. Do you want to jump off a crate and attack an enemy? that's a maneuver.
  92. Do you want to wait till your enemies draw close and try to hit multiple targets at once with a full swing? Also a maneuver.
  93.  
  94. Maneuvers function on a risk reward system. For example in the drop attack you trade a drop in your hit chance for a boost in base damage output. In the instance of the full swing you allow yourself to be attacked by the targets you're attempting to bait in order to retaliate against them all at once.
  95.  
  96. Anything you imagine can become a maneuver however keep in mind the more outlandish the action you're trying to take the steeper a negative you incur in trying to pull it off.
  97.  
  98. I'll add any particularly useful maneuvers you come up with along with thread favorites to Anon's character sheet.]
  99.  
  100. >You hop back over the temporarily two dimensional shadow wriggling on the ground.
  101. >Once in position you plant your feet and hunker down ready to weather your attacker’s blows as you grip your rod tightly near the bottom of the haft and the cartoonishly mouse shaped head on your weapon gleams brightly in the corner of your eye
  102. >You barely have time to make it into position before the shadow emerges from the floor leaping at you with its cohorts following hot on its heels.
  103. >Unfortunately for the shadows you’re ready for their clumsy leaping attacks this time as you lunge forward shoulder checking the lead shadow and send it flying backward into the other two creatures sending the three of them tumbling to the floor in a heap
  104. >The shadows have barely had time to untangle their gangly limbs and stand up when you unleash a vicious swing transforming the vaguely mouse like arrangement of gems at the head of your staff into hurtling spheres of destruction that rip through two of the three shadows smashing them apart like a pair of piñatas
  105. >The last shadow, regrettably, is spared from your fury for now as the arc of your wild swing goes sailing over its bulbous little head.
  106.  
  107. Status
  108.  
  109. Anon 10/11 HP
  110. Shadows 1-3: Rekt
  111. Shadow 4: ??? HP
  112.  
  113. >You know just how to finish this fight, but before you can put your plan into action the shadow manages to get the drop on you.
  114. >Luckily the shadow trips over its own feet and smacks it bulbous dome on the shining stained glass floor giving you the perfect opening.
  115. >You grab the shadow by its squishy black head, despite its prone position it flails mightily to try and shake free of your grip and you only barely manage to hang on.
  116. >But hang on you do, as you grasp the shadow in your left hand and turn to face the inky black expanse over the edge of the platform.
  117. "Batter up!"
  118. >You shout with a grin and toss the shadow into the air before taking a swing that would make pooh bear proud as you swing your rod and connect squarely with the head of tiny monster sending it sailing a good eighty feet away before gravity takes over and it begins to tumble down into the darkness below.
  119.  
  120. (Obtained 1 potion, learned maneuver: Home Run Derby)
  121. (Home Run Derby trades damage done for distance traveled and can be used to smack heartless around the battle field. The heavier the foe the smaller the distance multiplier on your dice though so it's significantly less than ideal for heartless like large bodies or defenders.)
  122.  
  123. >You watch it sail away with a self-satisfied smirk, but your victory celebration is cut short as your tower begins to tremble and groan.
  124. >Suddenly a terrible crash fills the oppressive silence as the pillar you’re standing on begins to rumble and sway wildly.
  125. >The light beneath your feet begins to dim, the panels in the stained glass floor begin going dark one by one as it tilts even more aggressively the final light flickering out just as the pitching floor casts you off over the edge.
  126. >You reach desperately trying to grab onto the edge of the platform only to find yourself laying perfectly still on a new glowing glass island.
  127. "I’m starting to get a little sick of being yanked around."
  128. >You mutter as you get up off the ground and look around the platform you find yourself on.
  129. >The only thing to see beyond the mural you find yourself standing on is a large translucent door.
  130. >You walk up to examine it and find that while you can’t walk directly through it you also can’t touch it in any meaningful way.
  131. >The door is clearly covered in ornate filigree but it all feels smooth to your touch, even the door handles feel perfectly flat despite their fully real appearance.
  132. >After kicking the door in frustration you turn away to find a large wooden crate.
  133. >Maybe it will make a better vent for your anger than an intangible magic door.
  134. >You pick up the crate grumbling about bullshit crate tutorials as you clumsily heave it at the door.
  135. >As one might expect when a shoddily constructed force meets a magicaly immovable object, the crate smashes open.
  136. >Inside you find a potion along with the smashed remains of a high potion.
  137. >Apparently they like being hurled at doors at high speeds as much as crates do.
  138. 「Shame about that potion, care to try again?」
  139. >The voice mysteriously voiceless voice chimes in as the crate and shattered potion pull themselves back together in a flash of light.
  140. >This time you take your time with the crate, examining it from all sides, discovering that not only is it poorly put together you find that there are a number of places where the slats don’t even manage to meet flush with one another sometimes by a pretty wide margin.
  141. > You get out your rod and one of the gaps is so wide that you could easily fit the haft of your weapon inside if you wanted to.
  142. >Wasting no time you slip the rod inside and begin to try and pry up one of the boards, after wrestling with the old nails holding the slat in place for a few minutes you manage to pry it off and the high potion within is yours for the taking.
  143. >As you fish the high potion out the voice speaks to you again.
  144. 「Just because there will be times you have to fight does not mean that will always be the case.」
  145. 「There is often more than one approach to every problem, and while force may get the job done, a more subtle approach may yield greater rewards.」
  146. >The voice says as the door shimmers and takes on a more tangible quality, the now corporeal handles beckoning for you to open them.
  147. >You grab the handles and slowly pull open the heavy door only to be blinded by a brilliant flash of light.
  148. 「Before you rush off, tell me a little about yourself」
  149. >The voice speaks again, but this time you notice it doesn’t speak over the empty silence of the void you’ve been trapped in.
  150. >You hear birds chirping in the distance and the rustling of the wind through the leaves as you rub your eyes and the world resolves into view around you.
  151. >You find yourself in a clearing at the edge of an apple orchard that stretches on endlessly in all directions.
  152. >Standing before you are three small fillies gathered around the base of a tree supporting an oversized clubhouse in its branches.
  153. >The three fillies, as with all the ponies you’ve seen depicted in glittering stained glass relief up till now, seem oddly familiar though you can’t seem to recall how.
  154. >You do know that they all seem to be uncharacteristically quiet as they wait for you to approach.
  155. >You walk up to the little orange filly sporting a fuchsia mane and tail.
  156. >You squat down to her eye level, but as you open your mouth to speak she cuts you off.
  157. >”What motivates you to keep moving forward?”
  158. >She asks, her pale purple eyes locked on to yours with an intensity that strikes you as entirely alien to the filly’s tomboyish features.
  159. > You pause for a moment, and think….
  160.  
  161. A. Making people smile.
  162. B. Having a successful career.
  163. C. Helping those weaker than myself.
  164. D. Keeping my loved ones safe.
  165.  
  166. >After mulling it over for a minute or two you reply.
  167. “Making people smile.”
  168. >You say with a grin as you frame your face with jazz hands trying to make the filly laugh.
  169. >”What’s so rewarding about that?”
  170. >She says, confusion obvious in her voice as she tilts her head before going back to fiddling with the set of jacks at her hooves.
  171. >You leave the strangely nihilistic little pony behind and walk over to the white unicorn filly with the oddly appealing curly pink and purple mane.
  172. >What can you say, you really like it.
  173. >You open your mouth to tell her as much when once again the little filly cuts you off.
  174. >” What’s something you couldn’t bear to give up?”
  175. >She asks as she locks onto you with another eerie gaze.
  176. >You briefly wonder why these fillies are standing around asking soul searching questions before considering how to respond to her….
  177.  
  178. A. Knowledge.
  179. B. My Achivements.
  180. C. Memories of those dearest to me.
  181. D. Nothing.
  182.  
  183. >This time the answer comes to you easily.
  184. “The memories of those dearest to me, nothing could be more precious than that.”
  185. >You say as warm feeling washes over you as you recall those dearest to you.
  186. >But that warm sentimentality immediately becomes the icy grip of dread when you realize that you can’t actually recall a concrete detail about a single person.
  187. >You can feel them there but they lie just beyond your reach.
  188. >”Is that really so precious?”
  189. >The young unicorn asks as it continues to stare at you, the words gnawing at you as you back away.
  190. >For a second the world seems distant, as though everything around you were just a façade hiding the cold swirling blackness you were wading through before.
  191. >You shake your head and the sensation passes. As you look back down the filly is lying in the grass scribbling in a coloring book.
  192. >You try and think of your friends again and the reassuring warmth is still there.
  193. > You tell yourself that once you get out of here you’ll be back with them as you turn to face the final filly waiting for you under the tree.
  194.  
  195. >You walk up to the Little pale yellow pony and plop down in the grass taking a seat in front of her waiting expectantly.
  196. >The ribbon bedecked filly speaks, somehow managing to make a southern drawl sound cold and impersonal.
  197. >" What do y’all reckon’s most worth fighting for?"
  198. >The little pony stares quietly at you as she awaits your response
  199.  
  200. A. My friends.
  201. B. Justice.
  202. C. Victory.
  203. D. Peace.
  204.  
  205. >The answer has never been clearer to you, and you slowly stand as you begin your reply.
  206. “I’ve had friends I would die for. And I’d lay down my life in the name of peace.”
  207. >Your voice rises as you stand up straight and plant your feet squarely in the soft grass.
  208. “But there’s one thing that would drive me to stand against my friends, and cast peace aside.”
  209. >You strike a pose, thrusting your right hand into the air and clinching your fist at your side, as you below your response.
  210. “JUSTICE!”
  211. >You snap your wrist, calling your rod into your hand before swinging it down across your body in a fencer’s salute.
  212. >”is that really so worthwhal?” the filly asks in a confused drawl before she turns her attention away from you.
  213. “There’s no higher calling I could ask for”
  214. >You say softly as you turn away.
  215. >You’re only a few steps away from the filly’s treehouse before the voice begins to speak again.
  216. 「You fight for Justice. You couldn’t bear to part with the memories of those dearest to you. You. You’re driven by a desire to make people smile.」
  217. 「Your adventure begins in a crowd of strangers. Your path may seem lonely at first, but if you reach out with a smile to those you meet, you may find even bitter enemies can become precious friends.」
  218. 「Does that sound about right?」
  219.  
  220. "My mind’s made up."
  221. >You reply as you steel yourself for whatever is going to come next.
  222. >The voice speaks as the colors in the world around you begin to run and the idyllic orchard begins to slowly dissolve into familiar expanse of the void.
  223. 「The door has long since been opened, but a piece of the darkness the light within was meant to cleanse managed to slip away to a far off forgotten corner of the world.」
  224. 「Your corner of the world.」
  225. 「Keep your light burning strong, and drive out the last of the old darkness once and for all.」
  226. >The voice finishes speaking as you arrive back in the void, but something has changed about it; as you look up you can see thousands of shards of glass floating through the inky blackness like a snow globe.
  227. >The shards glint as they catch the light from your platform and you can see above you the broken stump of the pillar you fought the heartless on the light that lit it from within sputtering and dying as the shadows seem to choke it out.
  228. >You turn away from the shattered tower and examine platform you find yourself on and find it to not be entirely empty.
  229. >You discover a small chest at the edge of the platform, you approach it cautiously and tap it with your staff.
  230. >To your surprise the chest pops open easily revealing within a small collection of mundane items a magnifying glass, a history text book, and a theatrical mask.
  231. >Just as you wonder how you’re going to carry all these things they disappear in a flash of light and your head spins as you feel part of the cloud in your mind lifting.
  232. 「Thank you for your honest answers before, I know soul searching isn’t easy. 」
  233. 「But as a result, you‘ve just become a bit more defined as a human being.」
  234. >The voice says as the chest sinks into the glass below illuminating it before rushing out to the edge of the platform, and beyond as it leaves a trail of small stained glass stairs shimmering in its wake.
  235. >As you walk out onto the glass the voice begins to speak.
  236. 「Keep this one thing in mind as you search for your justice.」
  237. >It says as the glass beneath your feet begins to splinter and crack.
  238. 「Darkness within can be a greater threat than any darkness without…」
  239. >The last of the voices silent words are drowned out by the crash of the window breaking and the rushing tinkling of broken glass.
  240. >The center of the platform has exploded out into the darkness and the shards of glass are whirling around the hole as the other shards fly in towards it.
  241. >Out of the twisting funnels of glass a glittering clawed hand emerges and crashes down onto the platform near you.
  242. >As you turn to run another emerald green fist smashes down near you.
  243. >You look up in horror as the twister coalesces into a jet black body with a yawning heart shaped hole in the middle of its chest.
  244. >Finally a head emerges from the funnel of flying glass revealing a green humanoid head devoid of all features save a cruel jagged maw filled with shards of glass.
  245. >It roars down at you spraying glass splinters as the shards making up its body scrape and grind against one another.
  246.  
  247. >You summon your rod and rock up on the balls of your feet, preparing to dodge as you channel the spirit of history’s most infuriating comedian.
  248. >Jerry Seinfeld.
  249. "You know I played a game with a boss like you. Big guy that punches, has a heart shaped hole in his chest, even on a stained glass platform like this."
  250. >Your droning voice assaults the colossus’s mind and drives it into frenzy as it rears back and sends its glass fist hurtling towards you.
  251. >Unfortunately, your feet aren’t quite as quick as your wits and you fail to completely evade the blow as the jagged shards of glass catch your shoulder spinning you off balance.
  252. >You pull yourself up off the floor expecting to see the beast having drawn its fist back out of your reach, but to your surprise you see it stuck in the glass.
  253. >Your horrible attempt at comedy must have infuriated the beast so badly that its fist has become caught in platform.
  254. >You dust yourself off and jump up onto the monster’s fist and dash up its outstretched arm, brandishing your rod as you plant your feet with a satisfying crunch when you reach the monsters shoulder.
  255. >You wind up with your weapon and bring its crystalline head crashing into the monster’s temple.
  256. >There’s a satisfying tinkling sound as bits of the beasts head fall away but it’s quickly overshadowed by a loud rumbling as the beast pulls its fist free.
  257.  
  258. STATUS
  259. Anon: HP 15/22.
  260. Items: Potion 2x, Hi-Potion 1x
  261.  
  262. Shattered Mirror HP: 85/100
  263.  
  264. "You shouldn't be able to fight, your tiny brain couldn't support your FAT ass body!”
  265. >You shout angrily into the small crater on the side of the glittering monstrosity’s head.
  266. >Maybe you deafened it with your last attack, maybe it just isn’t impressed by your sick burn, but the beast seems unfazed.
  267. >You wind up to smack the beast in the head again when you hear the sound of metal scraping on glass.
  268. >You look up and see the monster reaching around, its jagged green fingers looming over you as it tries to pull you from its shoulder
  269. >You try to leap from the monster’s shoulder and escape but the shoulder’s shifting glass proves poor footing and green claws wrap around you, pulling you from your perch and knocking the wind out of you.
  270. >The world spins around you and the monster begins to lift you over its head and prepares to hurl you into the glass below.
  271. >If you don’t figure out a way to break its grasp you’re going to be in serious trouble.
  272.  
  273. STATUS
  274. Anon: HP 11/22
  275. Items: Potion 2x, Hi-Potion 1x
  276.  
  277. Shattered Mirror: HP 85/100
  278.  
  279. >You take a deep breath and regain your composure, the monster hasn't smashed you against the glass yet and you still have time to asses your situation.
  280. >As you examine the jagged glassy hand you notice that it's not really a solid mass, and there are several deep fissures running through the hand's structure.
  281. >Some of these fissures are nearly wide enough to cram the dream rod into; you think maybe if you can find a good place to ram it in and do it with enough force you could do some serious damage.
  282. >Thinking quickly, you pull your arm free of the giant’s grasp and hold your hand out over one of the fissures running through the giant’s wrist.
  283. >You focus your will on your weapon and call it into existence.
  284. >For a moment it seems as though nothing is happening but then the monster’s hand is begins to shine as a shaft of light shoots down from your hand and illuminate’s the beasts body from within.
  285. >The Shattered Mirror roars in agony as pure light invades its body forcing it to release you from its grasp.
  286. >For a moment you’re dangling from the creature’s wrist suspended by your rod as you barely able to maintain your grip on your weapon.
  287. >However you aren’t hanging there long before gravity has its way and pulls you free from the monster’s wrist, rod and all.
  288. >As you’re pulled free the rod tears out a chunk of the monster’s wrist, leaving its hand dangling uselessly leaving you to fall to the ground in a shower of glass.
  289. >You prepare to tuck and roll to try and mitigate the falling damage but you notice something bizarre happening around you: the glass shards falling around you seem to shimmer as they lose their original form and become a shower of glowing green spheres.
  290. >One of them seems to change course midair and fly towards you as it falls; you brace against the impact, but the impact never comes.
  291. >When the orb hits you it seems to be absorbed into your skin and you suddenly feel revitalized as some of the wounds on your shoulder seem to magically close themselves.
  292. >You don’t have time to consider the implications as you tuck and roll on the glass surface, passing through a patch of bouncing green orbs in the process.
  293. >Another wave of revitalizing energy rushes through you as you stand and you can feel the pain in your cuts and scrapes abruptly stop.
  294.  
  295. STATUS
  296. Anon
  297. HP: 22/22
  298. Items: Potion x2, Hi-Potion x1
  299.  
  300. Shattered Mirror
  301. HP: 60/100
  302.  
  303. >You look up at the beast’s dangling hand and decide to try and press the advantage as you cock back your arm and fling your rod up at the ruined appendage.
  304. >Unfortunately your weapon isn’t the most aerodynamic and the rod’s awkward design causes your throw to go wide as it misses the hand entirely and clatters back to the platform uselessly.
  305. >You go to call your weapon back when the beast bellows furiously and outstretches its arms towards you as the glass comprising its limbs begins to spin, the shards grinding and screeching against each other as the arms spin faster and faster.
  306. >You turn to run, to try and escape getting caught between these two screeching glass grinders but to your surprise the beasts arms explode outward from its body, blasting you away in a pair of cyclones of whirling glass sending you sailing out over the edge of the platform and into the inky blackness beyond as the shards tear at your freshly healed body.
  307. >Time seems to slow down as you hang there in space, the glass shards around you glittering in the light of the pillar in the distance.
  308. >The shards around you seem to be gravitating back towards the monster slowly, but they’re picking up speed.
  309. >You have only moments to think before gravity’s cruel grasp takes over and pulls you down into the abyss.
  310.  
  311. STATUS
  312. Anon
  313. HP:10/22
  314. Items: Potion x2, Hi-Potion x1
  315.  
  316. Shattered Mirror
  317. HP: 60/100
  318.  
  319. "Legolas, see me through this!"
  320. >You shout as you begin to fall your foot catching a nearby shard.
  321. >This is the moment of truth: you push off of the shard trying to leap forward back towards the glowing platform in the distance.
  322. >For one pulse-freezing moment it feels as though the chunk of glass is giving way beneath your feet.
  323. >But then the glass catches on whatever force is pulling it back towards the beasts body and you leap forward into the abyss adding the forward momentum of the shard to your own.
  324. >You’re catapulted forward leaping from shard to shard, each one moving faster and faster as you get closer to your foe, each one flinging you further and faster until finally you’re hurtling through the void at a blistering pace.
  325. >You draw your arm back, summoning your rod from its resting place on the platform, as you make your final leap towards the beasts face.
  326. >It roars defiantly as you sail towards it but to its surprise you twist and hurl your rod into the coalescing mass of glass where its arm is reforming.
  327. >You turn to shoot it the double bird as you sail over its shoulder towards the floor below, feeling particularly satisfied with how well your plan has been going.
  328. >Unfortunately, you’re coming in a little bit too hot for your own good and come down hard on your shoulder as you attempt to roll and absorb the impact.
  329. >Not to be deterred by such minor setbacks you grit your teeth and pull yourself up off the ground stretching out your arm as you call out to your weapon.
  330. “PHOTON BOMB”
  331. >You shout, calling out the name of your special attack as your weapon appears in your hand.
  332. >In the same instant a flash of light illuminates the beasts arm from within, burning away at the darkness that animates it from the inside out, as it sends a wave of the same energetic green bubbles from before pouring from the wounded arm.
  333. >The Shattered Mirror roars in agony as it turns slowly towards you but you can see that the movement of its right arm is far more sluggish than it was before.
  334.  
  335. STATUS
  336. Anon
  337. HP: 8/22
  338. Items: Potion 2x, Hi-Potion 1x
  339.  
  340. Shattered Mirror
  341. HP: 43/100
  342.  
  343. >You pull a potion out of your pocket and go chug it, but as soon as you pull the cork from the bottle the latent magical energies in the bottle spring to life and shoot out over your head where they coalesce into a shimmering green bubble before popping releasing the restorative magic to rain down on you.
  344. >You go to cast aside the empty bottle only to find that it seems to have magically vanished
  345. “That was… unexpected.”
  346. >You mutter as you summon your rod and take up a defensive posture, preparing to block or dodge whatever the beast’s next assault may be.
  347. >The battered creature grinds and scrapes against the hole in the platform it’s protruding from as it turns towards you, its labored movement giving you time to study your foe.
  348. >Based on what you’ve observed so far the creature’s head, while difficult to access seems to be more vulnerable to physical blows than the rest of its body.
  349. >You’ve also noticed that despite the creature having disassembled and reformed its arms, the chunk you tore out of its left wrist seems to still be missing.
  350. >Maybe the way you used the light to hurt it cauterized the wound somehow.
  351. >In addition, the left hand seems practically dead at the end of the creature’s arm when you compare it to the right hand that’s visibly grasping and clawing at the air.
  352. >Maybe if you could hit what’s left of the wrist hard enough you could remove the hand completely.
  353. >You turn your attention to the monster’s right arm.
  354. >While more structurally sound than the left arm it seems much less reactive than its counterpart, as though your attack disrupted whatever forces allow it to move.
  355. >while you don’t see any obvious structural weaknesses on the right arm, beyond the odd fissure running through its crystalline hide, it seems as though the entire interior of the monster is vulnerable to the light generated by your Rod when it teleports.
  356.  
  357. Status
  358. Anon
  359. HP: 18/22
  360. Items Potion x1, Hi-Potion x1
  361.  
  362. Shattered Mirror
  363. HP: 43/100
  364.  
  365. >Finally the beasts center mass catches your attention, or more accurately its lack of center mass. The glass composing the interior of the massive heart shaped hole in the creature’s chest is a different color than the black glass comprising the rest of the creature’s body. Are its insides exposed to the outside world there?
  366. >Unfortunately your line of thinking is cut short as the creature roars and swings its crippled left arm at you.
  367. >You jump back to where you think you’re well out of its reach, but as the abomination swings its arm splits and extends into a brace of thin glass whips that lash out and sweep across the whole half of the platform you happen to be standing on.
  368. >You try to catch the jagged glass tendrils with your rod and dampen the blow but the force lifts you off your feet and sends you flying backwards tumbling through the air.
  369. >You’re about to crash face first into the hard glass floor, but in a feet of acrobatic grace you didn’t believe yourself capable of, you push off the floor just before you make contact using the momentum to send yourself flipping over into a back handspring that sends you directly into the cluster of luminous green orbs on the ground where their revitalizing energy heals the fresh lacerations given to you by the beast.
  370.  
  371. Status
  372. Anon
  373. HP: 20/22
  374. Items: Potion x1, Hi-Potion x1
  375.  
  376. Shattered Mirror
  377. HP: 43/100
  378.  
  379. >You charge over to the monster’s left side, ducking under the crippled hand as you shout.
  380. “Maybe you should stop dating your right hand so much, leftie is looking a little neglected!”
  381. >Once again summoning the stinging fury of Ferry Seinfeld’s droning voice.
  382. >The monster roars in a cacophony of screeching metal and breaking glass as it hunches forward, supporting its weight on its left arm before sending a fist hurtling directly at you under its bent apendage.
  383. >It seems as though it’s going to stop short before it can hit you, but between having seen this trick before and the right arm’s sluggish state after your photon bomb you’re more than ready to dive out of the way as the arm shoots out unnaturally past your previous position tearing a small chunk off the edge of the platform as it blasts out over the edge.
  384. >You’re already in position before the beast even has time to realize you aren’t a greasy stain on its fist.
  385. “Think you can give me a hand?!”
  386. >You shout as you plant your feet and swing at the crippled wrist with all your might sending your rod crashing through the heap of broken glass.
  387. >You grit your teeth as the glass pushes back against you, threatening to end your bull in a china shop imitation prematurely, but you push onward a roar clawing its way up out of your throat as your rod bursts clean through the other side severing the massive crystalline hand completely.
  388.  
  389. Status
  390. Anon
  391. HP: 20/22
  392. Items: Potion 1x, Hi-Potion 1x
  393.  
  394. Shattered Mirror
  395. HP: 14/100
  396.  
  397. >The Shattered Mirror recoils in agony as you rip through the last bit of glass holding its ruined hand to its body, leaving the yawning heart shaped chasm in its torso wide open.
  398. >You seize the momentum and charge forward, bounding up onto the shouldering heap of glass that used to be the creature’s hand.
  399. >As the glass shifts under foot some of the emerald orbs pop out of the ruined hand, patching up the last of your injuries but you’re too focused on your target to care.
  400. >You leap forward using the hand as a spring board, calling your rod to your hand as you hurtle through the air!
  401. “Liiiiiiiiiights!”
  402. >You shout as you bring the tip of your rod crashing downward through the luminous rose glass lining the heart shaped cavity in the beast’s chest.
  403. “OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuut!”
  404. >Your battle cry echoes out into the void as you wheel around turning your back to the beast, punctuating your roar with a flick of the wrist calling you rod back to your hand!
  405. >As you call back your weapon a blinding burst of light radiates from behind you as your photon bomb burns away at the last of whatever force was animating your foe.
  406. >You stand there smugly patting yourself on the back for a moment before the beast lets out an unearthly shriek as the light cascades through its body and it brings a fist crashing down next to you.
  407. >Unfortunately your first triumph as a hero of justice has been cut short as the monster’s violent death force you to turn back to face the beast.
  408. >It reaches toward you with the shattered stump of its left arm; its body sagging under its own weight as more and more of the shards comprising its frame sublimate into motes of light.
  409. 「Darkness within can be a greater threat than any darkness without...」
  410. >The voice speaks again as the beast raises its arm to smash you but the light eats away the shoulder holding it up sending the massive pillar of glass and iron crashing to the ground and directly through the already weakened glass of the platform.
  411. 「But I'm not worried...」
  412. >The voice says as the glass gives way beneath your feet and you go tumbling down the inside of the pillar along with the Shattered Mirror as it dissolves into a billion brilliant points of light.
  413. >Windows streak by you as you fall, your consciousness fading away as you rush downwards, the wind whistling in your ears as you barely manage to make out the voices last words before silence takes hold of you.
  414. 「You have friends, who will show you the way.」
  415.  
  416. >The sound of a jingling bell stirs you from your sleep, and you sit up trying to rub your eyes back into focus.
  417. >As you pull your hands away from your face you find a pair of massive cerulean eyes staring back into yours, the shock sending you flying back out of your seat sprawling on the floor.
  418. >The curly maned pink pony who owns said eyes hops down off her perch on the table to loom over you.
  419. >”This is no time to be lying around, Nonny.”
  420. >Her stern reproachful look abjectly failing to hide the mirth in her voice as she offers you a helping hoof up off the floor.
  421. “WEEeee’ve got a customer!” She shouts in a lilting sing songy tone that drives the last of the cobwebs of your bizarre dream from your mind.
  422. >You are Anonymous, or at least you have been ever since your arrival in this land of small techno color ponies a few months ago.
  423. >It seemed like a good enough placeholder when you arrived here with only the faintest of recollections of your life before this place.
  424. >Pinkie Pie has been one of your best friends in your new life here.
  425. >You think back about how she dispelled your fear and confusion when you first arrived here.
  426. >No grand gesture, or big speech, she just made a shitty pun and treated you like anyone else.
  427. >The two of you have been fast friends ever since.
  428. >She even went so far as to get you this job here at Sugar Cube corner.
  429. “Okay okay, give me a break Ponks, just let me put on my face”
  430. >You say as you rock up into your best slav squat and grab your mask off of the table and go to pull it on
  431. >Maybe it’s your smooth hairless skin, or the canines they get a glimpse of every time you grin, but most ponies tend to be unnerved by your pale alien visage.
  432. >It took a few weeks of shocked looks before you decided something needed to be done, thankfully one of pinkie’s friends hooked you up with this sweet mask and it seemed to help with the issue.
  433. >"Its okay Anon, you don't need to wear that for me."
  434. >Says a voice from the door.
  435. >You turn to face the familiar voice, your mask perched on your head like a beanie as you wave at the lavender unicorn.
  436. “Hey, Twilight.”
  437. >You say with a yawn as you stand and walk over towards the diminutive librarian.
  438. “You would not believe the dream I just had.”
  439. >”Oh? And what exactly were you doing dreaming in the first place? Last I checked it was business hours.”
  440. >Twilight says cocking an eyebrow, a half serious air of accusation in her voice.
  441. >”Awww come on, Twilight.”
  442. >Pinkie whines from the counter.
  443. >”It’s not like we get many customers leading up to the gala anyway, why not take it easy?”
  444. >”Because if you two keep feeding off each other’s lazy streak nothing will get done around here!”
  445. >Twilight snipes back, her playful accusatory tone replaced with actual frustration as she reprimands her bubbly pink friend.
  446. “Quick, Pinkie make a break for it, she’s on to us!”
  447. >You say in an obvious stage whisper before both you and Pinkie burst out laughing.
  448. >Twilight sighs as she takes a seat at one of the booths and you go to the counter to prepare her usual.
  449. “All I’m saying is I’m sure both of you would feel bad if you let the Cakes down.”
  450. >Twilight says her voice softening again as she turns towards the two of you.
  451. >”Anyway that’s not why I came by today.”
  452. >She says as her horn lights up and there’s a rummaging in one of her saddle bags before she produces a glittering golden ticket wrapped in her telekinetic grasp.
  453. “Anon’s ticket to the Gala came today!”
  454. >She says with a self-satisfied grin as she floats the ticket over to you.
  455. >”After the whole fiasco with the tickets earlier this year, I’d have felt awful if one of my friends got left out just because he turned up a little later.”
  456. >She flushes a little bit and smiles sheepishly as you take the ticket from her, it must be embarrassing to remember how bent out of shape they got out over something as simple as tickets to a party.
  457. ”Thanks, Twilight, I’ll swing by Rarity’s to see about a tux later.”
  458. >You say as you tuck the ticket into one of your jacket’s pockets.
  459. >”Now that that’s out of the way, I also wanted to ask if you were still interested in coming by to assist with one of my magical experiments tomorrow?”
  460. >Twilight asks her face lighting up at the prospect of doing science with her alien friend.
  461. >You only have a few memories from your life before, but one of them is your time as a scholar.
  462. >Which is probably you and Twilight have become as close as you have over the past few months.
  463. >You approached this new world with a rabid curiosity, one that Twilight was all too happy to feed with book after book from her tree-based library.
  464. >It wasn’t long though before history and culture were no longer enough for you and your attention turned to magic.
  465. >Fortunately for you, Twilight was more than happy to include you in her research when you asked her to teach you about the arcane arts.
  466. >She claimed that the perspective on magic of someone who possessed none could be a priceless source of data and was thrilled when you showed interest in the topic.
  467. >You two have been friends ever since, even if your laid-back attitude rubbed the studious little pony the wrong way from time to time.
  468. “Oh, you know I’m always down for some magic lessons, senpai.”
  469. >You say as you deliver a cup of hot chocolate to the little magical prodigy.
  470. “Excellent news!”
  471. >She says with a smile as she deposits the muffin in her saddle bag and levitates her coco
  472. >“In that case I’ll see you tomorrow, Anon. Don’t work too hard, you two.”
  473. >”Work too hard.”
  474. >Pinkie giggles as she tosses Twilight’s tab into the register.
  475. “She has met us right?”
  476. >You reply as you grab a muffin off the counter and plop back down into your chair.
  477. >Unfortunately, you’ve hardly had time to chew before the bell rings again.
  478. >You rush to pull your mask down over your face as the customer comes through the door, choking on your muffin in the process.
  479. >”Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!”
  480. >Pinkie beams with her trademark enthusiasm as a particularly bedraggled looking green pony enters the restaurant.
  481. >”Like, hello? I heard you could get some good munchies around here.”
  482. >You try to choke down the half chewed chunk of wheat and blueberry and reply, but Pinkie beats you to the punch.
  483. >”Absolutaly-Dootaly, we have muffins, eclairs, cookies, and just about every type of cake under the sun!”
  484. >Pinkie Pie continues to rattle off items on the menu as you finally vanquish your tasty foe.
  485. >You go to interject about the drinks on offer but a rustling in the pony’s mane stops you.
  486. >No… there’s no way this dirty hippie could be so foolish. Could she?
  487. >”Like, that’s great, mare, me and my little buddies were starving.”
  488. >She says as a small swarm of parasprites pops out of her matted mane and tail.
  489. (The madpony actually did it!)
  490. >You think as one of the little candy colored flying garbage disposals zips forward and devours your half eaten muffin in the blink of an eye.
  491. >Pinkie gasps as she zips around the counter and pushes the hippie out the door .
  492. >”Code red Anon! I’ll get the instruments, you keep them off the food!”
  493. >Pinkie shouts over the hippie’s meager protests.
  494. >”Like, hey, mare, parasprites got a right to eat too…” you can hear her trailing away in the distance as you reach under the counter.
  495. >You’ve trained for this moment, you may help out around the shop with cooking and waiting tables but this is what they pay you for:
  496. >Parasprite Loss Prevention.
  497. “Come get some!”
  498. >You shout as you pull a three foot long oversized flyswatter from beneath the counter and square off against the swarm of parasprites.
  499. >You glance around the room and take in your surroundings.
  500. >There are seven parasprites, including the one that just got coughed up by the little fuck that ate your muffin.
  501. >He shall be the first to taste your vengeance.
  502. >Probably.
  503. >Fortunately for you, most of the more expensive goods are in the display cases, the pests shouldn’t be able to get into those too easily.
  504. >There are a couple baskets of fresh muffins near the register that you might be able to use as bait.
  505. >The problem is the shelf of assorted candies on the wall by the door, and the large layered cake on display.
  506. >It’s more of a display piece than actual food, not fit for anyone with taste buds, but if the little vermin get hold of it then this situation is going to get out of hand fast.
  507. >The candies on the other hand are wrapped so they might be safe for now but there’s an awful lot of food on those shelves separated only by a thin layer of plastic from the hungry parasprites.
  508. >For the time being the parasprites seem to be buzzing around the room confused but one of them seems to have caught sight of the cake.
  509. >Maybe you should take care of him before he shoots off after his stale sugary prize and the others follow his example.
  510. >You remember your training and take a deep breath.
  511. “SOME-”
  512. >You take your best batters stance as you begin to sing and knock the parasprite hungrily eying the cake into the far wall where it falls to the floor stunned.
  513. “-Body once told me the wooooorld is gonna roll me, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the sheeaaad.”
  514. >The rest of the parasprites ignore the plight of their stunned comrade and begin bouncing around the room in time to your upbeat indie jams.
  515. “She was loookin kinda dumb with her fiiiiiinger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.”
  516. >You slip out of key towards the end of the line and some of the parasprites shake free of your musical spell and zip towards the basket of muffins.
  517. >But you prove too quick for them as you dash between them and their prize and the spherical little bugs bounce off of your chest in time to the imaginary beat at the end of the verse.
  518. >Ba dum dum dum
  519. “Well, the years start comin' and they don’t stop comin'. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
  520. >The four parasprites who rushed the muffins earlier float back up still less than enthralled by your singing, but this time you’re ready for them.
  521. >You lash out with them with a full swing the force of your attack blowing them back towards the door.
  522. “Didn’t make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.”
  523. >The parasprites fall back under your spell as you find your rhythm again and groove your way over to one of the tables and pull the tablecloth out from under the table settings with a single fluid motion.
  524. “SO much to do, so much to see, so what’s wrong with taking the back streets?”
  525. >You shuffle your way back over towards the bouncing parasprites but a sour note awakens the one you knocked to the far end of the room and it makes a beeline back towards the cake.
  526. “You’ll never know if you don’t go.”
  527. >You find the beat for the second time as you whip the cloth out around the dancing bugs, your sick flow slowing the seventh charging bug allowing you to catch it with the table cloth as it goes by.
  528. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.”
  529. >You sing as you bundle up the parasites in the tablecloth and tie a knot in the checkered fabric.
  530. >”HEY NOW YOU’RE AN Awww you’re already done, Nonny?”
  531. >Pinkie pie bursts through the door, her double necked guitar bass combo and array of keyboards slumping uselessly as her smile turns into a pouty little frown.
  532. >”You could have at least let me get a few verses in."
  533. >She says as she lets her precarious pile of instruments tumble to the ground.
  534. >You have no idea how she knew what you chose to sing.
  535. >Or how she knew where you were in the song for that matter.
  536. >But you’ve learned not to question these things when it comes to your energetic pink companion.
  537. >”Oh well, we can always sing more later, and look at the shop: there aren’t even any broken dishes!”
  538. >She says beaming as her infectiously positive nature reasserts itself almost immediately.
  539. >”I’m sure the Cakes will give you some kind of bonus for this.”
  540. >She says, nodding approvingly as she sits back and crosses her forelegs.
  541. >”In fact, here, I’ll get the Cakes to approve it later.”
  542. >She goes on to say as she pops open the register and pulls out thirty bits before sliding them your way.
  543. “Well I was just doing what I was hired to do, but if you insist.”
  544. >You say with a wink as you slide the bits into what passes for a wallet around here.
  545. >”Uh, So, Nonny, got any plans after work?”
  546. >Pinkie asks, awkwardly stammering a little as she trots around the front of the counter and begins hauling instruments towards the stairs at the back of the restaurant.
  547. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”
  548. >You say as you pick up the double v guitar and absentmindedly plink out a few notes as you help pinkie carry it up the stairs.
  549. “I need to go see about a tux, but other than that…”
  550. >You trail off as you think about the evening ahead.
  551. >You only have a couple days left before the Grand Galloping Gala.
  552. >Is there anything you want to do around Ponyville to get ready?
  553. >You ponder the question as you look out the window at the sleepy town below.
  554. >After mulling the question over, you can’t really think of anything pressing you need to do on this sleepy Equestrian afternoon.
  555. “I think I might just end up knocking around town for a while.”
  556. >You say as you give her a noncommittal shrug and toss Pinkie’s guitar into a hall closet.
  557. “You know, I wouldn’t mind some company. Feel like tagging along with me to Rarity’s?”
  558. >You ask Pinkie as the two of you head back down the stairs to the pile of instruments.
  559. >”That perfect!”
  560. >Pinkie’s face lights up as she squeals delightedly.
  561. “Perfect?”
  562. >You ask as you cock an eyebrow inquisitively, lending a bemused slant to the curve of the question mark adorning your mask.
  563. >”Welllll, I was wanting to see if Rarity needed to make any last minute dress adjustments. Plusss...”
  564. >Pinkie Pie’s chatter dies for a moment as her eyes dart around the room before landing on the pile of discarded keyboards.
  565. >“Plusss, I needed to restock my emergency keyboard reserves anyway! So I’ll be perfectly free to keep you company while you aimlessly wander the town!”
  566. >Pinkie Pie finishes her line of logic with a big, ever-so-slightly nervous grin plastered across her face as she plops down on the floor.
  567. >The whole thing seems a little forced to you, but she probably doesn’t want you to feel like you’re taking up her afternoon, so you just nod in agreement.
  568. “Sounds like a plan.”
  569. >You say as you smile back to the little pink pony.
  570. ”So what do we do with these little guys?”
  571. >You ask as you hold up the wriggling makeshift sack of parasprites.
  572. >Your first impulse would just be to squish them, but ever since a cow tried to start small talk with you about the weather you’ve learned to second guess these things.
  573. >”Stupid bugs, the Everfree is on the other end of town, why’d it have to be today...”
  574. >Pinkie mutters something under her breath and you can practically see the gears turning in underneath Ponk’s poofy pink mane as she rubs her chin, mumbling away in a state of deep contemplation.
  575. >”I’VE GOT IT!”
  576. >She shouts as she grabs the sack out of your hands and darts out the front door of the resturaunt to one of the picnic tables situated outside.
  577. >”Party Catapult!”
  578. >She cries triumphantly as she kicks the nearest picnic table, inciting it to shudder on the spot before unfolding into a catapult that you would not believe capable of folding down that small.
  579. >”Express delivery to the Everfree Forest!”
  580. >Her shout is muffled by the sack in her mouth as she tosses it into the catapult before pulling the leaver and sending the sack of parasprites hurtling into the sky, twinkling before they vanish from sight for good.
  581. >”And that takes care of that!”
  582. >Pinkie exclaims as she gives the catapult a cool fonzie elbow bump collapsing it back down to a picnic table.
  583. >You whistle, impressed as you shade your eyes from the sun and watch the parasprites sail into the distance.
  584. “You know the Cakes are probably going to want that table cloth back though, right?”
  585. >Pinkie groans as she drags a hoof down her face.
  586. >“Ughh, we’ll deal with it later. For now, It’s quittin' time!”
  587. >She says as the bell inside the shop rings and a smile plasters itself back across her bubbly pink mug.
  588. “Fair enough.”
  589. >You say with a chuckle as you grab one of the keyboards out of the shop’s doorway.
  590. “So Rarity’s first?”
  591. >You ask as you throw the keyboard over your shoulder.
  592. >Pinkie Pie hums an affirmative as she balances the other keyboard across her back and the two of you set off down the street.
  593. ”So what’s this Gala supposed to be like anyway?”
  594. >You ask as the two of you make your way to the boutique.
  595. >”Well, It’s an annual ball to celebrate the completion of Canterlot, and it’s the biiIIIGGGEST PARR-, just dump that keyboard right in here…”
  596. >Pinkie interrupts herself mid rant and holds open the back of a EPS mailbox.
  597. “You aren’t worried about mail fraud or something?”
  598. >You ask as you throw the keyboard into the metal bin.
  599. “Don’t worry, Derpy and I have an arrangement. Now where was I?”
  600. >Pinkie replies as she slams the mailbox shut.
  601. “Biiiigggest parr…”
  602. >You offer to grab the other keyboard off her back, only to discover it’s in fact a keytar.
  603. “Oh, hey, nice.”
  604. >”Oh right, thanks, and I know pretty sweet, huh, -RRRTY EVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRRR!”
  605. >It used to throw you off but after hanging out with her so long, keeping up with her when she changes track mid-conversation has become second nature.
  606. “Okay, so it’s big, but what do they do? I couldn’t tell you what an adult party would be like if it didn't involve drinking or garage rock and a keg.”
  607. >You ask as you extend the keytar’s strap and throw it over your back.
  608. >”Well duh silly, since it’s It's the most amazing, incredible, tremendous, super-fun, wonderful, terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria, It’s sure to have decorations like streamers and fairy-lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. “
  609. (Oh god, she’s losing control.)
  610. >You think as you mentally strap yourself in for the barrage you’re about to endure.
  611. >”And then there’s goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla.”
  612. (Just hang tough, buddy, you can make it.)
  613. >You think as you try to nod and mhmm your way your way through the verbal assault, but she’s just too fast to keep up.
  614. >”And best of all, I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like Pin the Tail on the Pony!”
  615. >” I've always always always wanted to go!”
  616. “Well hey you get your wi-“
  617. >You say, breathing a sigh of relief before something she says registers with you and cuts your train of thought short.
  618. “You really think they’ll have Pin the Tail on the Pony at a gala?”
  619. >You ask a little incredulously, but Pinkie doesn’t hear you as she trots past you and picks up again.
  620. “It was already going to be best going with my five best friends, but now that y-you’re going too it’ll be even besterer than before!”
  621. >She finishes off her diatribe with a little cheer as she hops up into the air, tossing confetti all over the street.
  622. >You nod along ,half-listening till she somehow manages to summon a shower of confetti from nowhere at which point you start applauding. In all the excitement you completely miss the stammer as she mentions you.
  623. “Well, If you say it’s going to be the bee’s knees I believe it.”
  624. >You say as you catch up with the pink party pony and playfully tousle her mane.
  625. >”Come on, Nonny, cut it out!”
  626. >She says as she gets a shade pinker and shoves you back.
  627. “Only if you can beat me to the boutique.”
  628. >You shout as you take off sprinting down the street.
  629. >You can see the Carousel Boutique at the far end of the block, as you round the corner into the home stretch.
  630. “I’ve. Got her. This. Time”
  631. >You pant as you look over your shoulder to find Pinkie Pie nowhere in sight.
  632. >You grin to yourself as you turn around and start slowing down.
  633. >Only to see Pinkie Pie waiting nonchalantly by the front door of the boutique.
  634. >”What took you so long, slowpoke?”
  635. >She giggles as you slump over and brace yourself on your knees.
  636. “How do you even keep doing that? Now its zero to…”
  637. >”Four hundred and fifty eight.”
  638. >Pinkie says matter of factly as she trots over to the door.
  639. >”HELLOOOOO, RARITYYY YOU HOOOOOME?”
  640. >Pinkie begins shouting as she bangs her poofy pink head on the door to the extravagant shop.
  641. >While she manages to rattle the door in the frame she somehow completely avoids the unpleasant thunk of skull-on-door, instead generating a volley of chew toy esque squeaks.
  642. “Again, I must ask, how? Do you just have no bones?”
  643. >You ask breathlessly as you try and fail to haul yourself back up straight.
  644. >”Don’t be silly, Nonny, it’s all in the prep work.”
  645. >She answers pulling a rubber chicken from her mane as a pale blue glow envelops the door knob.
  646. >You still don’t know how you missed the chicken when you tousled her mane earlier.
  647. >”Yes, yes, Pinkie, darling, I’m coming."
  648. >Says the white unicorn with exquisitely coifed hair rolling her eyes in the doorway.
  649. >“Oh, and Anonymous as well!”
  650. >She exclaims, surprised to see you hunched over next to pinky as she surveys the street.
  651. >”Whatever brings you two to my humble établissement?”
  652. >She inquires with a flip of her mane as you right yourself and pull the golden ticket from your pocket and offer it to the fasionista.
  653. >”Now then, down to business. Anon, down to your skivvies. Pinkie, no peeking”
  654. >She barks as she floats a large changing screen across the room, winking at Pinkie as she sets it down with a thunk, closing you off from the rest of the room before crossing behind the screen and joining you.
  655. >Pinkie, meanwhile, nearly chokes on her scones before coughing them up and shouting.
  656. >”Come on Rarity what kind of degenerate do you take me for?!”
  657. >She manages to keep her voice indignant, but were it not for the screen you could see the little pink pony turn beet red as she tries to hide behind her tea cup.
  658. “Well timed prank, bro.”
  659. >You say as you pull your shirt off over your head and hold out your fist.
  660. >”Think nothing of it, dear.”
  661. >Rarity replies with a subtle smile as levitates a ball of yarn off her work station and daps your fist withit while puttering around her workspace collecting her equipment.
  662. >”Just stand still, and we’ll be through in a flash.”
  663. >She says with a smile as her pale blue magic brings her tape measurer to life and sends it snapping around your body taking rapid measurements.
  664. >As she continues her meticulous work, you think back to when you first really got to know Rarity.
  665. >She was more than a little mistrustful of you at first, but after repeated encouragement from Pinkie and Twilight she eventually gave you a chance.
  666. >And you’re eternally grateful she did, otherwise you’d have been stuck with one ratty set of clothes for the rest of your life here.
  667. >Fortunately for you, once she gave you a chance, as she was fascinated by the concept of alien fashion.
  668. >You feel you’ve been a rather poor source of information in that regard but that didn’t seem to bother her much. She was more than happy to experiment with what you had on hand and use you as a model for her new, more avant-garde, ideas.
  669. >Ever since then Rarity has been your tailor and occasional tea time companion when the high-strung antics of your two closest friends becomes a bit too much.
  670. >And you even get the occasional bonus time with your lil buddy Spike when he’s helping her out around the shop.
  671. >”All done!”
  672. >Rarity says with a smile as she floats you your shirt and trots out from behind the divider only to see Pinkie Pie sitting on the couch having regained her composure.
  673. >”Now have you given any thought to color? White with blue accents is all the rage in Canterlot this year.”
  674. >Rarity asks as she trots by, shooting Pinkie a knowing grin.
  675. >Pinkie goes red all over again as she takes a sudden acute interest in the buttons on Rarity’s sofa.
  676. “I THINK I’D LIKE SOMETHING MORE TRADITIONAL.”
  677. >You shout back from behind the divider as you put your pants on, unsure of how far the designer had gone.
  678. “Just a classic black suit with red tie ya know?”
  679. You say as you step out from behind the curtain, seeing Rarity examining rolls of cloth in the next room over
  680. >”Very well, dear, one can never go wrong with the classics.”
  681. Rarity says as she levitates over a few rolls of black cloth for you to examine.
  682. >”Now we have materials and style to consider."
  683. >She says as she lapses back into her all-business tone.
  684. >”Now, we have a lighter vest, shirt, and slacks ensemble, should really allow you to cut a rug if you feel the need, dear.”
  685. >”Next we have the more traditional three piece suit: Jacket, vest etcetera.
  686. >She says, rolling her R’s as she floats you a slightly heavier material.
  687. >”A little more restricting when it comes to movement, but a good deal warmer.”
  688. >”And, finally, we have something rather special on the menu.”
  689. >Excitement twinkling in her eyes as she floats over a particularly thick and luxurious roll of cloth.
  690. “A full three piece suit complete with a rather smart wool overcoat. And not just any wool: wool of the electric sheep!”
  691. >She leans in and speaks in hushed conspiratorial tones.
  692. >”Very hard to come by through traditional channels, but you’ll be hard pressed to find better protection from the elements."
  693. >”Not that it doesn’t come without drawbacks.”
  694. >She says as she looks at the fabric longingly.
  695. “The coat is even more restrictive than the suit, and unicorns have complained that the fabric interferes with their ability to use magic, not that that should be a problem for you.”
  696. >She says as she nuzzles her cheek against the soft black fabric and her magical field immediately begins to sputter and fail.
  697. >She pulls away with a pouty sigh and sets the third roll on her workbench.
  698. >”Still such things are a small price to pay for luxury.”
  699. >A smile returns to her face as she looks to you expectantly.
  700.  
  701. >Whichun you want?
  702.  
  703. “I think I’m feeling the classic three piece suit, senpai.”
  704. >You reply after considering the options at hand
  705. >”Very well dear, if you change your mind on the overcoat as it gets colder, come back and see me. I should have the electric wool in stock for a while.”
  706. >Rarity says with a nod as she floats the electric wool and linen rolls back onto her rack and sends the medium grade fabric floating over to her work station.
  707. >“I should have your tuxedo ready for you by tomorrow evening. Now if you’d be a dear and wait in the other room, I really must talk with Pinkie about her dress.”
  708. “You’re the boss, senpai.”
  709. >You say, shooting Rarity the double guns as you turn three hundred sixty degrees and moonwalk out of the room.
  710. >”Pinkie, dear, I’m ready for you.”
  711. >You hear Rarity call from the other room as you flop down on the couch next to Pinkie, lift up your mask, and help yourself to some scones.
  712. “Sorry it took so long; I know you’re eager to get this dress taken care of.”
  713. >You say between bites.
  714. >”Don’t worry about it Nonny, I’ll be back in a jiffy!”
  715. >She says with a smile that turns into a grimace as she turns away from you and trots into the other room.
  716.  
  717. >You are now Pinkie Pie, and who does that soandso Rarity think she is teasing you like that, why you have half a mind to teach her a lesson and bake her a regular cake for her next birthday instead of her favorite mint chocolate.
  718. >Yeah, that’ll show her, you think as you snicker to yourself before a certain classy white pony snaps you back to reality.
  719. >”Hello, dear, Equis to Pinkie?”
  720. >Rarity says as she waves a hoof in front of your face.
  721. “Oh hey, Rarity, didn’t see you there”
  722. >You say full of your characteristic pep and vigor before dropping down into an angry whisper.
  723. “What’s the big idea anyway, you trying to give me a heart attack out there?”
  724. >You say through clenched teeth.
  725. >”Oh relax, dear It’s just a bit of good natured ribbing, you know I just want to see you happy.”
  726. >Rarity says with a mischievous grin as she opens a large cabinet that contains the dresses for you and the rest of the girls on a set of mannequins.
  727. >”Now then, darling, your dress is just as ready for the gala as it was yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and so on.”
  728. >Rarity rolls her eyes as she levitates out the mannequin with your dress and sets it in the center of the room.
  729. >”But, if you insist, we can check the fit again.”
  730. “No… That’s okay.”
  731. >You say with a dejected frown as you plop your cushie tushie down on the rug.
  732. >”Do you want to talk about what’s actually bothering you dear?”
  733. “…….Not really.”
  734. >You say as you push the rug around with your hoof.
  735. >”Do you want me to guess?”
  736. >You nod.
  737. >Rarity leans in and whispers conspiritorialy.
  738. >”Does it have something to do with Anon?”
  739. “Ohmigoshhowdidyouknowareyoupsychichowcouldyoubepsychicthiswholetimeandnottellme?”
  740. >You blurt out before you regain your composure.
  741. “I mean, no, whatever would make you think such a thing?”
  742. >You say as you turn up your nose doing your best Rarity interpretation.
  743. >There’s no way she didn’t buy that, you think to yourself.
  744. >Yeah, you’re too smooth.
  745. >”Hey Rarity, Spike’s here, we’re gonna go look at stuff for the Gala, Join us when you’re done!”
  746. >Anon shouts from the other room.
  747. >”You two have fun, darling, we’ll be a few more minutes here and should be along presently.”
  748. >Rarity calls back as the bell at the front door jingles.
  749. >”Honestly, dear you should just ask him to the Gala and be done with it.”
  750. >Darn, she’s seen through your ruse, and you were so careful too.
  751. “But, we’re already going to the Gala together, all eight of us.”
  752. >You say with a frown.
  753. “And I still have no idea what you mean.”
  754. >You hastily add as you attempt to feign ignorance.
  755. >”Of course you don’t, dear.”
  756. >Rarity says as she rolls her eyes at you again.
  757. >Dagnabit, she’s not buying it, how does she do it?
  758. >”All I’m saying is if you want to go to the gala with him you should say so, the worst he can do is say no.”
  759. >She says as she pats you on the back.
  760. >”If you never tell him how you feel then nothing will ever change, dear.”
  761. “ButhesahumanandI'maponywhatifhedoesntfeelthesamewayandthinksI'msomekindofwierdoandthenwhatifhestopstalkingtomealtogetheridontwantthattohappenRarity!”
  762. >The words spill from your mouth as you look up at Rarity and big, blubbery tears start to form at the corners of your eyes.
  763. >Stupid eyes are going totally give you away here, you need to think of something fast.
  764. “I mean, oh look it’s raining.”
  765. >Perfect, no one will suspect a thing.
  766. >”Pinkie, dear, we’re inside.”
  767. >Rarity says as she levitates over a scrap of cloth and dries your eyes.
  768. >”One must keep up appearances .“
  769. >The fashionista says with a sad little smile as she sets the cloth aside.
  770. >”If you don’t feel ready to say anything that’s perfectly fine, dear, but I don’t think Anon would abandon you over something like that.”
  771. >”You are the man’s closest friend after all.”
  772. >Rarity says as she trots off into the kitchen.
  773. >Maybe you’ll make her that mint chocolate cake after all.
  774.  
  775. >You are Anon.
  776. >Just like you’ve always been, why would you ever be anyone else?
  777. >You’re watching Pinkie trot off to get her dress refitted when you hear a knock at the door.
  778. “I’LL GET IT!”
  779. >You call into the other room as you walk to the front door.
  780. >Oh snap, it’s your little homie Spike, you think to yourself as you open the door and discover your pudgy, purple bro standing there.
  781. >”Oh hey, Anon, what’s up?”
  782. >The little dragon asks as he offers you his fist.
  783. >You of course dap on your little buddy as you reply.
  784. “Just getting fitted for a tux li’l man, Twilight came by and dropped this off earlier, and you really gotta look the part at these things, ya know?”
  785. >You fish the golden ticket out of your pocket and flash it at him as it glints in the sunlight.
  786. >”Oh sweet, big guy.”
  787. >The little dragon says as he dabs on it.
  788. >You taught him to do that, naturally.
  789. >He’s gotta learn bipedal gestures from someone, might as well be you.
  790. >”You should have seen Twilight freak out about Princess Celestia not being able to get you a ticket. It was pretty priceless, senpai.”
  791. >And there you go, rubbing off on him again.
  792. “Yeah, that sounds like her: losing her mind every time she thinks she isn’t doing right by her friends.”
  793. >You say as you reminisce back to your earliest days in Equestria.
  794. “Do you remember the fit she threw after she found out I was trying to camp out in the park?”
  795. >”Oh man, do I? I don’t think I’ve seen her pop a blood vessel out of her forehead like that before.”
  796. “I was just trying to be self-sufficient, how was I supposed to know she’d get all, 'How could you put yourself at risk like that,' on me? It’s not like I was camping in the Everfree Forest or something.”
  797. “So what brings you by anyway?”
  798. >You ask as soon as the two of you recover from your laughing fits.
  799. >”Oh, I had heard there was a sale going on at some of the local shops and I wanted to spice up my suit a little for the big party, maybe a bowtie or something. I was gonna see if Rarity would help me pick something out.”
  800. >The little dragon blushes as he looks bashfully down at his feet and kicks anxiously at the dirt.
  801. “Ohhh, I gotcha little man, say no more. We’ll get a head start and find you something nice, that way you can impress the fair lady with your fly fashion sense.”
  802. >You say before leaning back into the boutique and shouting into the other room.
  803. ”HEY RARITY, SPRIKE’S HERE, WE’RE GONNA GO LOOK AT STUFF FOR THE GALA, JOIN US WHEN YOU’RE DONE!”
  804. >You flash the little dragon a thumbs up before stepping out into the street shutting the door behind you.
  805. >You look up and down the shopping district street, and a few stores jump out at you.
  806. >Dapper Dan’s Grooming Emporium, one of the fliers in the window encourage you to be a Dapper Dan Stallion.
  807. >Time Turner’s Time Pieces and More, time pieces from pocket watch to grandfather clock and everything in between.
  808. >Davenport’s Sofas and Quills, NOW SELLING CUFFLINKS, TIES, AND OTHER GALA FINERY. FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA PLEASE BUY SOMETHING.
  809. >You do have thirty shiny new bits burning a hole in your pocket, maybe you can find something nice too while you help your lil buddy on his romantic endeavor.
  810.  
  811. >Where ya wanna go first?
  812.  
  813. “How about we hit Dapper Dan’s first, lil man?”
  814. >You suggest as the two of you peruse the storefronts.
  815. >The little dragon shoots you a thumbs-up as you push open the door.
  816. >What greets you is the distinctly clean barbershop aroma and the tail end of a conversation near the register.
  817. >”…And so I said to him, 'I don't want Fop, darnnit, I'm a Dapper Dan pony!'”
  818. >The shopkeeper and the group of ponies gathered round the register burst into laughter as you enter Dapper Dan’s.
  819. >”Well, I’m glad we’ve got such a loyal customer in you, Ulysses. You boys take it easy now.”
  820. >The proprietor says as he catches his breath and the three ponies make their way from the store.
  821. >”Now, what can I do for you gentlemen today?”
  822. >Dapper Dan turns to greet you with a smile that falters only for a moment when he sees his rather unusual new clientele.
  823. “Well, not only do we have tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, but the little guy here wants to try to catch a certain somepony’s eye at the event.”
  824. >You explain as you gesture to Spike, framing him with your finger tips.
  825. “So we figured what better way than to make him a Dapper Dan Man.”
  826. >Dapper Dan smiles appreciatively as he examines the little dragon.
  827. >”Well, you’ve certainly got the right idea, but I’m afraid that your scaly compatriot won’t be getting much use our flagship product.”
  828. >He says as he gestures to a stack of small tin canisters, all labeled “Dapper Dan’s Stallion’s Pomade, for stallions only, 2 bits”.
  829. >”But never fear, my good gentlecolts, here at Dapper Dan’s we are committed to excellence for colts of all kinds.”
  830. >He says as he disappears under the counter.
  831. >“We actually have a new product that we’ve been developing with some draconic investors to market in the dragon territories.”
  832. >He returns from under the counter and returns with a bottle and what looks like a magically powered orbital buffer.
  833. >The bottle reads “Smaug’s Select Scale Shine. Now you can bring the shine of your horde with you wherever you go, no diamond waistcoat required.”
  834. “Looks pretty good to me, little guy.”
  835. >You say as you toss the bottle over to Spike.
  836. >”And is there anything that I can interest you in, sir?”
  837. >Dapper Dan asks as you scan the shelves.
  838. “Well, maybe.”
  839. >You say as you examine the lables of various bottles and tins.
  840. “Question is, do you have anything for this kind of situation, senpai?”
  841. >You ask as you pull off your mask and let the little salespony examine your face directly.
  842. >To his credit, Dapper Dan is a professional man, and if he’s the least bit shocked by your unusual appearance he doesn’t show it.
  843. >”Hmm, lean down sir.”
  844. >He asks in a way that feels more like a demand than a request.
  845. >You comply, rocking a 10-point slav squat and lower yourself down to counter level, where Dan reaches out and floofs your hair a bit with his hoof.
  846. >”Yes, as I suspected, sir, our classic pomade can certainly help you bring a bit of luster and style to those locks.”
  847. >He says as he turns to the shelf behind the counter.
  848. >”I would also recommend a conditioner and exfoliant.”
  849. >Dan thunks a pair of bottles down on the desk.
  850. >”A styling agent can only do so much if the hair itself is damaged, and with no fur you’ll need to be even more concerned with blemishes.”
  851. >He says sliding the bottles towards you.
  852. >”Use the exfoliant sparingly, though: it’s meant to work through fur, you know, so just a dab should do.”
  853. >You gather together the exfoliant, conditioner, Wakeup Tonic, a tin of pomade, and Spike's scale shine.
  854. “You want to just pool our resources, little guy?”
  855. >You ask Spike as you wave at the stack of loot.
  856. >”If that means you’re spotting me some bits then you know it!”
  857. >Spike replies enthusiastically.
  858. >”Well then, my good gentlecolts, the total today comes to 25 bits.”
  859. >Dapper Dan says with a smile as he punches the items into the register.
  860.  
  861. >Are you satisfied with these purchases?
  862.  
  863. “On second thought, I think I’m gonna need to pass on the conditioner and exfoliant.”
  864. >You say as you slide the items from your selection.
  865. “Can’t spend it all in one place, know what I mean, senpai?”
  866. >”Yes, of course sir; that brings your total to 19 bits.”
  867. >Dapper Dan nods understandingly as he refigures your total.
  868. >The two of you hand the stallion your bits as he bags up your purchases before you make your way from the store.
  869. >”It’s been pleasure doing business with you; hope to see the two of you around again soon.”
  870. >Dan says with a smile and a wave as you pull your mask back on before the two of you leave the store and make your way a couple buildings down to Davenport’s Sofas and Quills.
  871. “So this cat really doesn’t carry anything but sofa and quills usually?”
  872. >The disbelief obvious in your voice.
  873. >” Yeah, and sometimes he doesn’t even have quills.“
  874. >Spike huffs, recalling his last encounter with his nemesis Davenport.
  875. “I just don’t understand how a business model like that can even function.”
  876. >”I’ll tell you boys, not very well!”
  877. >A manic looking stallion shouts as he bursts from the door you were about to open.
  878. >”Our secret is the grace of Celestia and more than a hoofful of back alley loans from the Ponyville mob.”
  879. >”But thank Luna you boys are here. So what can I do for you today, a Sofa, perhaps a nice quill?”
  880. >He says as he herds you inside and takes his place behind the counter.
  881. “Uuuuhhh, actually we came by because of the other sign.”
  882. >You clarify, suddenly not so sure of your safety in this shop.
  883. >”The one that says gala finery?”
  884. >Spike adds, blissfully ignorant of the problems eating away at Davenport.
  885. >”Oh. Right. Nopony’s in the market for quills and sofas anymore.”
  886. >Davenport says dejectedly as he spins his pricing sign around and opens the top on a display case in his counter.
  887. >”I’ve had to start selling these to get by.”
  888. >He says as he listlessly gestures at the products.
  889. >”It’s decent stuff but it’s not what I’m passionate about you know? Feel free to take a look around.”
  890. >He says as he flops into a stool and plops his head down on the counter.
  891.  
  892. >So much to buy, so little cash.
  893. >You think to yourself, as you examine what Davenport has on offer.
  894. >It occurs to you that you might be able to get him to drop the price on some of his non-Sofa and Quill related merchandise if you throw him a bone on his key inventory.
  895. >But you decide against it: you don’t want to take advantage of the poor guy.
  896. “Hey, Spike, check these out.”
  897. >You toss the dragon a pair of ruby cufflinks.
  898. “Just what you need to class up your outfit, little man, way better than some tacky bow tie.”
  899. >You say as you turn back to Davenport.
  900. “Can I get the bowtie and a set of quills with that? Thanks, senpai.”
  901. >Davenport, who was dejectedly punching items into the register, lights up when the word quills leaves your lips.
  902. >”No, thank YOU, sir!”
  903. >Davenport practically shouts as he leaps up out of his seat and begins bagging up your items.
  904. >”In fact, to show my appreciation, sir, please have a second set of cufflinks on the house.”
  905. >He says as he drops a second pair of ruby cufflinks into the bag.
  906. >You’re starting to get the impression that Davenport may in fact be a terrible businessman.
  907. “Look, maybe it’s none of my business, but why sofas and quills? I mean one is a high ticket item that people hold on to for years at a time, the other has such a low margin you can’t possibly support a whole store on it.”
  908. >Davenport becomes deadly serious as he fixes you with a stare that burns deep into your soul.
  909. >”It’s my destiny, sir... Now that’ll be 16 bits!”
  910. >Davenport stares through you, out into some dark abyss that only he can seem to see before reverting back to his manic cheerful tone.
  911. >You and Spike share a worried glance, but you still fish the bits out of your bag and pay the stallion.
  912. >By the time that Davenport counts your bits and hands you your goods Spike is already on his way out the door.
  913. >You follow hot on the little dragon’s heels back into the safety of the outside world.
  914. >”Jeeze, that guy was a little intense huh, senpai?”
  915. >Spike says as he holds his ruby cufflinks up to the sun.
  916. >”Still, totally worth it though. You think Rarity will be impressed?”
  917. >Spike asks before throwing his new bling into the bag with his scale polishing set.
  918. “No doubt, little man, just don’t go eating them. I don’t want to have to go back in there again.”
  919. >You say as you toss open the door to the final stop on your tour, nearly clocking Rarity and Pinkie Pie who are stopped abruptly in the process of leaving the store.
  920. >”See, Rarity, I told you to watch out for the door.”
  921. >Says the particularly pleased with herself pink party pony.
  922. “Oh snap, guys, I’m so sorry!”
  923. >”Come on, big guy, you gotta be more careful. What if you took their heads off?”
  924. >You awkwardly stumble over yourself trying to apologize as Spike chastises you, whacking you in the shin with his bag of goodies.
  925. >”Calm down, Spike, darling. It’s hardly as serious as all that.”
  926. >Rarity sooths the fury of the tiny dragon as she and Pinkie Pie join the two of you out in the street.
  927. >”Besides, I have yet to meet a door that could catch Pinkie unawares.”
  928. >The fasionista says with a smile as the door swings shut behind them.
  929. >”Yeppers, no door can get the drop on the old twitchy tail.”
  930. >Pinkie says as she plops down with a self-satisfied grin and blows the smoke from her, somehow smoking, tail like an old west gunfighter.
  931. >”At any rate we were just out looking for you boys when Pinkie saw something in Time Turner’s shop that she simply HAD to purchase. Isn’t that right Dear?”
  932. >Rarity says as she nudges Pinkie, who stands there confused for a moment before a look of realization dawns on her face.
  933. >”Ohhhh, right!”
  934. >Pinkie exclaims as she clops her hooves together before reaching back into her saddle bags and pulling out a small black box.
  935. >”Tadaaaah, I got you a pocket watch to go with your new suit!”
  936. >She says as she pops the top off the box and pulls out a silver pocket watch with a thick silver chain.
  937. >”Time Turner recommended it to me special, he said the design on the front is based on a good luck charm from an island he visited once.”
  938. >She points to the design on the front of the watch that looks like a star, the points of which encircle a stylized question mark.
  939. “What are these here? Balloons?”
  940. >You ask as you gesture at the points of the star.
  941. >”Oh! Time Turner said they’re supposed to look like the sea shells the charms were originally made from notballoonsatallwhywouldanyoneeventhinkthatIcertainlydidntnosir!”
  942. >Her voice becoming increasingly unintelligible the longer she goes on.
  943. “Pinkie, you know I have a hard time keeping up when you get going that fast.”
  944. >You say as you snap your fingers in front of the over excited pony’s eyes bringing her back to reality.
  945. >”Oh right, sorry Nonny.”
  946. >She says sheepishly, turning ever so slightly pinker before continuing.
  947. >”Anyway, Time Turner said it was supposed to bring good luck to people who were far away from home and I thought of you. He even engraved that question mark on the outside for you when I bought the watch, said it was supposed to have a symbol to represent the charm’s intended owner. “
  948. >She finishes her explanation as you run your fingers over the design engraved on the watch’s surface.
  949. “Thanks Pinkie, it’s beautiful.”
  950. >You say as you reach up towards the release button at the top of the watch before being interrupted by a shout from the pink pony.
  951. >“WAIT! Don’t open it yet! It has another surprise inside, you need to Pinkie Promise me not to open it 'till the morning of the Gala!”
  952.  
  953. >How would you like to respond?
  954.  
  955. “Are you sure I can’t just take a liiitle peek?”
  956. >You say with a grin as you reach for the button and Pinkie Pie starts sputtering unintelligibly before you wink at her and set the watch back in its case.
  957. “Just kidding, Ponka, sorry about that.”
  958. >You say with an apologetic nod as Pinkie fumes on the ground and Rarity tries to stifle her laughter behind you.
  959. “Okay, in all seriousness this time, I promise not to open the watch till the morning of the Gala. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye”
  960. >You say as you make the Pinkie Promise , complete with all the requisite motions.
  961. >”That wasn’t very nice, but thanks Nonny, I knew I could count on you.”
  962. >Pinkie says with an angry huff that breaks into a relived smile as you slip the watch and case into your bag.
  963. “Seriously though, Pinkie, thank you. That was a really thoughtful gift.”
  964. >You say as you crouch down and wrap the Ponk up in a surprise hug.
  965. >”D-don’t even worry about it, Nonny. It was nothing.”
  966. >Pinkie stammers helplessly, her face beet red as Rarity struggles mightily to not fall down laughing and give Pinkie away.
  967. >Fortunately for the flustered Pinkie, Rarity is the wingmare of the century and is ready to run interference when you release her from your hug.
  968. >”Now that all that’s settled, what do you say we go and get a bite to eat?”
  969. >Rarity suggests as she leads the four of you down the road.
  970. >”I have some time yet before I need to start work on your suit, and I had originally planned on dinner with the girls. I’m sure they’d be delighted to have you, Spike, and Pinkie join us. “
  971. >”Ooooh that sounds great Rarity! It's bee-!”
  972. >A certain pink pony tries to exclaim before being drowned out by the rumbling of her stomach.
  973. > It has been a while since you ate, and it’s not every day you get to see the gang all in one place.
  974.  
  975. >Feel like changing plans and joining the girls for dinner?
  976.  
  977. “To be quite honest, senpai, I’m starving. Let’s eat!”
  978. >You say with a triumphant grin and head off down the road.
  979. >”It’s actually this way, dear!”
  980. >Rarity calls out to you before you manage to get more than a few steps away.
  981. “I totally knew that, senpai, I was just testing you.”
  982. >Pinkie and Spike laugh, and Rarity stifles a chuckle as you halfheartedly lament the fact that the overly expressive mask the fasionista created for you won’t hide the embarrassment on your face.
  983. “Okay, enough about me, anyone have anything good to share to kill time on the way to the restaurant?”
  984. >You ask as the four of you make your way down the sunset lit Ponyville streets.
  985. >“Ooh, oooh, pick me, I have a good one!”
  986. >Pinkie begs as she bounces in and out of eye level with you.
  987. “Shoot, Ponka.”
  988. >You nod as you give the little pink pony the go ahead.
  989. >”Ohh boy, so it all began on a typical morning at Sugarcube Corner...”
  990. >Pinkie says with a mile-wide grin as she launches into her story.
  991. >By the time the four of you reach the restaurant, Pinkie practically has the group on the ground in stitches.
  992. >”So I said, 'Oatmeal, are you CRAZY?'”
  993. >Pinkie finally manages to blurt out between bouts of laughter.
  994. >Spike is so distracted by the story that he fails to realize you’ve arrived until he physically bumps into the restaurant's gate, prompting him to say.
  995. >“Oh hey guys, we’re here.”
  996. >As he holds open the gate.
  997. >”Well of course we’re here, silly, I just finished the scene transition.”
  998. >Pinkie says matter-of-factly as she trots past him onto the patio before shouting.
  999. >”HEY GIRLS!”
  1000. >At the small group of ponies seated around a nearby table
  1001. >”Scene trans- wha?”
  1002. >Spike stammers confused before you walk up and kneel down as you pass, slapping him on the back.
  1003. “Best not to think about it on an empty stomach, little man, come on.”
  1004. >You say as you slap him out of his confusion.
  1005. >”Wait for me, guys!”
  1006. >Spike shouts as he chases the three of you towards the table.
  1007. >"Greetings girls, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve taken the liberty of inviting Anonymous and Spike to our little gathering tonight.”
  1008. >Rarity says as the four of you join the group.
  1009. >”Oh no, not at all, please sit.”
  1010. >Twilight says, smiling enthusiastically as she welcomes your group to the table.
  1011. >You pull off your mask and slip it into a jacket pocket as you join the girls at their table.
  1012. >”As it happens, we were just talking about you, weren’t we gir-?”
  1013. >Twilight tries to ask, before Rainbow Dash talks over the end of her question.
  1014. >”Yeah, yeah, so you remember anything about your world yet?! Is there anyone there as fast, or as cool, or as talented as me?!"
  1015. >Dash blitzes you with questions of her own, her braggadocio underpinned by the anxiety brought on by an imaginary rival she’d never be able to challenge.
  1016. >Dash opens her mouth to continue before Applejack stuffs a roll in it, silencing the cyan pegasus.
  1017. >”Acshually, we all had questions, and ah reckon Ahnon would appreciate it if we were civil and went whon at a tahm.”
  1018. >AJ says in her typical warm southern drawl while staring daggers at Rainbow Dash.
  1019. >Dash blushes and apologetically rubs a hoof behind her flashy rainbow head before swallowing her roll.
  1020. >”Uuuhm, right, probably a better idea.”
  1021. >Dash says sheepishly as she slumps back into her seat.
  1022. >This is one of their favorite topics of discussion with you, one that never seems to grow old no matter how consistently you fail to provide any new information, or even information at all.
  1023. >But today you feel like indulging them; after all, as they keep telling you, this might be the time you remember your tragic and mysterious past.
  1024. >Or at least that’s what Dash keeps telling you.
  1025. “Okay, why not? And since you already asked, Dash, let’s start with you: what burning question do you have about my old world today?”
  1026. >”Okay, what’s the fastest any human’s ever gone?”
  1027. >”Rheally Dash? That’s all yah’ve got?”
  1028. >However, AJ’s derision of the speedster’s one-track mind was cut short as you spoke.
  1029. “That would be 24,791 miles per hour when the astronauts Thomas Stafford, John W. Young, and Eugene Cernan made re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere in the Apollo ten capsule.”
  1030. >You rattle off without thinking between sips of your drink as the entire table stares at you stunned.
  1031. >”Anon, did you just answer a question about your home?”
  1032. >Twilight breaks the silence first, her excitement plastered across her face.
  1033. >”DID YOU JUST NAME IT?!” Twilight shouts as she processes what you said, leaping up in her chair and planting her front hooves on the table.
  1034. “Huh, I… guess I did.”
  1035. >You say as you shake your head in confusion. You’re not entirely sure how you knew the answer to that question, you just know that it was the most natural thing in the world to answer it.
  1036. >Maybe that crazy dream earlier knocked some memories loose or something.
  1037. >“Quick, someone ask him another question!”
  1038. > Twilight says hurriedly as she throws herself back into her seat.
  1039. “Ummm… okay, what kind of pets do humans have on…. Was it Earth?”
  1040. >Fluttershy asks timidly from behind her mane.
  1041. >You have to think for a moment on this question, not because you don’t know the answer, but because your memory seems to be playing tricks on you.
  1042. “Humans… mostly keep dogs and cats but have kept animals ranging all the way from rabbits, and birds, to tigers as pets.”
  1043. “In fact… I feel like I had a dog before I came here, but for the life of me I can’t remember his name. Or his breed for that matter.”
  1044. >You say as you struggle to get a grasp on your memories, but as quickly as it came it’s gone.
  1045. >”Oh… I’m sorry I made you remember something painful. I know we can’t replace your old friend, but we could get you a new dog if you want…”
  1046. >Fluttershy mumbles as she tries to console you.
  1047. “Ah’ve got one, if that’s ahll right, Ahnon?”
  1048. >AJ asks with a concerned look in her eyes as she seeks your approval.
  1049. >You nod and the diligent farm pony proceeds.
  1050. >”What did ya’ll do for a living on yer old world?”
  1051. >AJ regrets asking the question almost as soon as it leaves her mouth when she sees the look of confusion on your face.
  1052. >”I think, was I an accountant? Or maybe a pharmacist? Was it criminal justice or information technology? Did I even graduate yet?”
  1053. >You ask aloud as you try to pin it down but once again the answer escapes you.
  1054. “Sorry, AJ, all I can really remember is I went to school for a long time. Still, if I went to school so long it probably paid well at least.”
  1055. >You tack on a smile and spit out the second sentence in an attempt to make AJ feel better.
  1056. >It doesn’t really work for either of you.
  1057. >”Nothing for me, thank you dear. I’ve already learned plenty about your world in our conversations over your wardrobe.”
  1058. >Rarity says as she sips her tea and abstains from grilling you.
  1059. >She’s playing it cool, but you get the impression she knows exactly how much this is bothering you, and is tactfully trying to get you off the hook.
  1060. >Pinkie finds herself caught between wanting to know everything about you, and the self-evident fact that this line of questioning is distressing you.
  1061. >In the end she just looks pitifully at her plate, and says.
  1062. >”It’s okay, Nonny, I don’t need to know anything.”
  1063. >As you look at the mopey pink pony, the look on her face is as plain as the distress on your own.
  1064. >The thought of doing something that would hurt you breaks the poor mare’s heart.
  1065. “Hey, Pinkie, it’s okay. I’m okay, you don’t need to be sad.”
  1066. >You say as you wrap an arm around the little party planner’s shoulder and pull her close to you.
  1067. “This may be hard, but it’s a good thing, right? I’m finally remembering about myself.”
  1068. >You say as you try to console Pinkie.
  1069. >”Okay, if you say so.”
  1070. >Pinkie sniffles a bit before squeezing you back.
  1071. >”I think I’m okay now.”
  1072. >She says as she smiles up at you and you ruffle the party pony’s mane.
  1073. “Good.”
  1074. >That’s all that really needs to be said between the two of you as Pinkie settles back into her chair.
  1075.  
  1076. >Twilight Sparkle surveys the scene with dismay.
  1077. >Not only has the air of excitement and discovery gone unexpectedly grim.
  1078. >But Pinkie was all over Anon just now.
  1079. >The evening couldn’t get much worse for the little purple bookworm.
  1080. >”I’m sorry things got so out of control, everypony."
  1081. >Twilight says dejectedly from her seat.
  1082. >”I let my excitement get the better of me, and I put you in an awkward position, Anon.”
  1083. >”It’s just I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately: not just where you come from, but the implications of other worlds as a whole.”
  1084. >Twilight sighs as she continues onward.
  1085. >”I’ve always had, let’s say an academic curiosity, about the existence of other worlds, and then you showed up Anon, and proved they exist!"
  1086. >Twilight points at you and the excitement builds in her voice.
  1087. >”Suddenly, our world was just a little piece of something much greater! I guess I just… wanted to see what else was out there.”
  1088. >She says wistfully as she turns to the group.
  1089. >”So again, I’m sorry I’ve made dinner awkward for everypony, but more importantly ,thank you, Anon, for sharing tonight.”
  1090. >She says as she turns to you and smiles.
  1091. >”Without you, I might have never given any serious thought to any of this.”
  1092. >And that’s about the time that your meal arrives.
  1093. >The eight of you spend hours laughing and talking, making light of the revelations you just discovered about yourself.
  1094. >Rainbow Dash is both stunned by the literal astronomical speed you claim humans have achieved, while at the same time insisting nothing can go that fast.
  1095. >Fluttershy interjects throughout the night as she tries to determine what kind of dog would suit you best.
  1096. >Rarity passes the time discussing the final preparations she’s making on the group’s ensemble for the Gala.
  1097. >Applejack tries to pin down what useful training you actually possess but proves unsuccessful when a food fight instigated by Pinkie, Spike, and Rainbow Dash interrupt her efforts.
  1098. >Twilight engages you in a lengthy discussion about how exciting it is that you’ve remembered the name of your world and the possible implications of its name.
  1099. >You need to insist that you’re fairly certain that there aren’t also the world’s Pegasus and Unicorn inhabited exclusively by winged and horned humans.
  1100. >Eventually the conversation dies down and you bid your friends a good evening and return to your apartment.
  1101. >You open the door and toss your jacket on the couch.
  1102. >You make your way to the kitchen only to find your roommate enjoying a midnight snack.
  1103. “How’s it going, Bulk?”
  1104. >”Pretty good, YEAH! Pretty good.”
  1105. >He says as he flexes between bites of his Oaty Oat cereal.
  1106. >”How about you, string bean, make any good gains today?”
  1107. >You think it over and pull the case containing the pocket watch out of your pocket and smile.
  1108. “Yeah. I think so.”
  1109.  
  1110. >END DAY ONE
  1111.  
  1112. >Or is it? Because you are now Pinkie Pie, and you are totally leaving dinner with the rest of the girls.
  1113. >Or you were, the rest of the girls have peeled off and now it’s just you and Twilight.
  1114. >”So, were you happy to see Anon finally got his ticket today?”
  1115. >Twilight’s voice breaks the silence of the dark Ponyville streets, her words may be asking but her tone is telling.
  1116. “Well, of course I was, silly, now he’ll be able to go to the ball with everypony and we can all have the bestest time EVER!”
  1117. >You leap into the air to launch your traditional confetti punctuation only to find yourself out.
  1118. “Sorry, Twilight, I used up all my confetti when I was explaining the Gala earlier to Anon.”
  1119. >”Of course you did. But that’s not what I mean. I mean it’d be awfully hard to ask Anon to the Gala without a ticket. You’re welcome by the way, I know you wanted to.”
  1120. “I-I don’t know what you, ohlookatthetimethankyouforthelovelyeveningIreallymustbegoing!”
  1121. >You blurt out as you panic, pantomime looking at an invisible wrist watch and dash off back to Sugarcube Corner.
  1122. >As you gallop away from your bookworm buddy you almost think you can hear her laughing.
  1123. >You make your way upstairs to your room and drop a cupcake into Gummy’s tank.
  1124. “Somehow I don’t feel like Twilight was really trying to be helpful, Gummy.”
  1125. >You say exhausted as you lean on the wall-eyed gator’s tank.
  1126. “Oh well, that’s a problem for future Pinkie.”
  1127. >You force the words out around a yawn and fall into bed.
  1128.  
  1129. >END OF DAY ONE
  1130.  
  1131. >”YEAH, RISE AND SHINE, BRO! TIME TO FACE THE DAY!”
  1132. >You are awoken, as you usually are, by Bulk shouting his wake-up mantra from his room at the end of the hall.
  1133. >When you first moved in with him, after your ill-fated camping endeavor a few months back, his bizarre habits were almost a deal breaker; but as time has passed, you’ve discovered this bug is actually a feature.
  1134. >”You ready to get the morning jog in, bro?”
  1135. >A knock comes from the other side of the door as Bulk comes to collect you for what has become a traditional morning exercise routine.
  1136. “You know it, senpai.”
  1137. >You say as you throw on a sweatshirt and join the muscle-bound pony in the hall.
  1138. “YEAH!”
  1139. >The two of you shout in unison as you run out of the front door.
  1140. >When you first arrived in Equestria, you were the stereotypical out of shape nerd. But thanks to Bulk’s guidance that Anon is a thing of the past.
  1141. >You still probably wouldn’t win any contests back home, but you certainly wouldn’t embarrass yourself either.
  1142. >Gone are the days that you couldn’t do a single pull-up, you think to yourself as you and Bulk arrive at the tree on the edge of the park.
  1143. >The muscle-bound white pegasus leaps up and curls his hooves around a low hanging branch, you follow suit on a nearby branch and join him in busting out a quick set of five pull-ups before the two of you hop down and jog deeper into the park.
  1144. >”ALRIGHT, BRO, HALFWAY THERE. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME A HUNDRED.”
  1145. >Bulk demands when you reach the traditional halfway point of your morning jog, your old campsite from your first few days in Ponyville.
  1146. >You still keep a hammock set up out here for when you want a place to think.
  1147. >”48, 49, 50...”
  1148. >Or when you need a break midrun, you think to yourself as Bulk shouts his way through his own set of pushups.
  1149. >”99, 100! OKAY BRO, FIVE MINUTE BREAK THEN SIT-UPS!”
  1150. >Bulk shouts before collapsing directly into the unkempt grass surrounding your former campsite.
  1151. “YEAH!”
  1152. >You shout back, mirroring the bodybuilder’s favorite motivational cry as you fall into your hammock.
  1153. >You think back to when you first moved into the empty room in Bulk’s place.
  1154. >Twilight and Pinkie had been looking around town for an opening to keep you from sleeping in the park, but it had been slow going finding someone willing to room with an oddity like you.
  1155. >Then Pinkie found Bulk’s add in the Ponyville Gazette.
  1156. >”OLD WORKOUT BUDDY MOVED OUT, NEED NEW WORKOUT BUDDY/ROOMMATE. YEAH!”
  1157. “Well, we might as well give it a shot.”
  1158. >You told the little pink pony as you sat on your temporary cot at the back of Sugar Cube Corner.
  1159. >When the two of you arrived at Bulk’s place and you saw the ripped little pony, you couldn’t help but think there’s no way this guy’s gonna want me living with him.
  1160. >But Bulk’s reaction surprised you.
  1161. >”You may not look that strong, bro, but I heard about you trying to rough it on your own in the park.”
  1162. “Yeah, my friends felt like that wasn’t exactly suitable living conditions.”
  1163. >You explained sheepishly as you looked around the bodybuilder's home.
  1164. >”Well they’re right, bro, you get trash gains living inawoods. But that takes guts and a can-do attitude.”
  1165. >The ripped pony replied as he crossed his rippling forelegs.
  1166. >”I can definitely respect that, bro, so the room’s yours if you want it.”
  1167. >“OKAY BREAK’S OVER, BRO. SIT-UPS. GO.”
  1168. >Bulk breaks out of your flashback and you spring into action on the next leg of your morning routine.
  1169. >The two of you blast through your sit-ups before hopping up and jogging back out of the park towards the house.
  1170. >When the two of you reach the door, Bulk shouts once more.
  1171. >”YEAH! HOME STRETCH, BRO, LETS FINISH STRONG WITH SOME SQUATS!”
  1172. >Naturally, after months of doing this routine, the 100 squats fly by in a matter of minutes and the two of you head inside.
  1173. >”Good job, bro, that only took us about 45 minutes. You’re getting faster.”
  1174. >Bulk says as he hovers into the kitchen and pours himself a fresh bowl of Oaty Oat cereal.
  1175. >He downs the bowl in a flash before throwing on his weather crew vest and buzzing out the door
  1176. >”Catch you later, bro, YEAH!”
  1177. >He shouts as he launches off towards the Ponyville weather station leaving you with the house to yourself.
  1178. >You probably ought to get ready for work for the time being.
  1179. >You think to yourself as you make your way back down the hall to the shower.
  1180. >You think back to Bulk’s comment earlier, he’s right: 10k in 45 minutes isn’t bad at all.
  1181.  
  1182. >You are Pinkie Pie, and you’ve just been woken up by the sound of distant Yeah!'s echoing in the streets of Ponyville as Anon and Bulk make their way to the park on their morning run.
  1183. >You yawn as you shuffle over to Gummy’s cage and throw in his morning cupcake.
  1184. “Mornin lil' guy.”
  1185. >You say with a smile as the stone-faced, toothless gator tears into his sugary meal.
  1186. >As Gummy devours his breakfast you slide open one of your desk drawers and pull your ticket to the Gala from its resting place.
  1187. >The gold foil sparkles in the early morning sun as you stare at the ticket.
  1188. “Just one more day, and then Nonny and Me will have the bestest night ev-“
  1189. >You’re midway through reminding yourself that everything is gonna be hunky-dory, and you aren’t worried Anon is going to say no, not even a little bit, when you’re Interrupted by someone knocking at the door of Sugarcube Corner.
  1190. >Can’t they read the sign that says we’re closed for Gala prep today?
  1191. >Oh no, what if they’re blind?
  1192. >You can’t just leave them down their waiting at a locked door!
  1193. >Run, Pinkie, Run!
  1194. “I will!”
  1195. >You shout as you dash out of your room and gallop down the stairs and fling open the front door.
  1196. “I’m so sorry to leave you waiting, Mr. Magoo, but we’re clos- Oh hey ,Twilight, how’s it going?”
  1197. >Your panic gives way to a friendly smile when you realize that it is in fact not an elderly cupcake enthusiast, but your good pal Twilight.
  1198. >Maybe she’s here to apologize for being rude last night.
  1199. >”Pinkie, I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I behaved walking home last night. I made light of your feelings and that’s not how a friend should behave.”
  1200. >See, what did I tell you, she did want to apo-.
  1201. >”I realized that I only did it because I was mad at myself for doing the same thing that you are, letting every opportunity pass me by because I’m too afraid to take a chance."
  1202. >This is starting to feel less and less like an apology, you think as you squirm uncomfortably in the doorway.
  1203. >”So I’ve come here this morning to make a proposal.”
  1204. >Twilight says as she draws herself up to her full height.
  1205. >”Tonight we’ll cook dinner for Anon, and whoever’s dish he likes best will ask him to the Gala.”
  1206. “Bwhah?”
  1207. >Twilight’s words send you reeling. Is she declaring war on you right now?
  1208. >Your best buddy twilight?
  1209. >Damn you, past Pinkie, how could you throw this on me?
  1210. >”This is the best way to handle it, if we settle this ourselves, Anon doesn’t have to worry about hurting either one of us by turning us down.”
  1211. >You can half-hear Twilight continue talking as she explains herself.
  1212. >She wants to call you out to settle this like mares?
  1213. >Fine.
  1214. >There’s no way you’ll lose to her in a battle of food.
  1215. >”Hello, Pinkie? What do you say?”
  1216. >You hear Twilight’s voice again, apparently she’s finished talking.
  1217. “Oh it’s on, Twiggles, but don’t think I’m about to go down easy!”
  1218. >You shout, determination burning in your eyes as you dart back into Sugar Cube Corner and throw up every closed sign in the building.
  1219. >You’re going to need total focus if you’re going to prepare your magnum opus and ensure that your genius plan to ask Anon to the Gala goes off without a hitch.
  1220.  
  1221. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie just took the bait and agreed to give up Anon without a fight.
  1222. >She can bake to her little pink heart’s content but there’s no way she’ll be able to overcome the Whopper you have in store for Anon tonight.
  1223.  
  1224. >You are Anon, and don’t you just hate it when your mind wanders like that?
  1225. >You think to yourself as you step out of the shower and suit up for the day.
  1226. >First things first, better report to Sugarcube Corner.
  1227. >You pop a piece of Moe breakfast toast in your mouth, lock up your crib, and head off to work.
  1228. >The walk into the shop is uneventful, but when you arrive you find the shop to be aggressively closed.
  1229. “I guess the Cakes forgot to mention we’d be closed for Gala preparation.”
  1230. >You say to yourself as you stare bemusedly at the locked door.
  1231. >And you never did manage to return Pinkie’s rad keytar, you think as you unsling the instrument you had intended to return today from your shoulder.
  1232. “I guess it’s just you and me for now, buddy.”
  1233. >You say to the instrument as you strap it back on and look out at the town.
  1234. >You’ve got a while before you’re supposed to meet Twilight for that magic thing.
  1235.  
  1236. >What do you want to do in the meantime?
  1237.  
  1238. >You kind of want to go see what else Time Turner has available in his shop, but you’re a little concerned by your funding situation.
  1239. >15 bits probably won’t get you that far in the watchmaker’s shop
  1240. >But you’re a man with a sense of showmanship, a sick keytar, and a deficit of shame.
  1241. >Money will never be far beyond your reach.
  1242. >So you grab a piece of cardboard from a pile of discarded packaging behind Sugarcube Corner and scrawl out a sign.
  1243. >”WON’T THECHNO 4 AN ANSWER” It reads as you plunk it down next to the fountain in the town square and whip out your new musical companion.
  1244. “This little baby reminds me of a song I know from back home, and it goes a little something like this.”
  1245. >You declare as you hold your keytar aloft by the neck, and the magic that powers its keys hums to life before swinging it down into position and breaking into song.
  1246. >https://youtu.be/cnsq9XtpmEk
  1247. >To your surprise, before you even get into the first line, the little white unicorn you’ve seen around town with the sunglasses and the loud music shows up with an electronic drum kit and joins you, insisting that Ponyville can’t avoid your techno.
  1248. >The DJ pony is shortly followed by a small squad of backup dancers as your group jams its way around the town square.
  1249. >Before long you reach the end of your song and your merry little band cheers before vanishing to go back about their business as swiftly as they arrived.
  1250. >You turn out to face the crowd of adoring spectators that surely must have gathered to watch your performance.
  1251. >Only to find there is no crowd.
  1252. >There is in fact only a single pony.
  1253. >Hm... Maybe busking for bits in a world where musical numbers can break out at the drop of a hat is more of a challenge than you thought it would be.
  1254. >That said, this one pony does seem pretty into your show.
  1255. >”Whoooooo… Yaaaaaay…”
  1256. >That has got to be some of the most polite, non-intrusive cheering you’ve ever heard.
  1257. >Still, low turnout is hardly an excuse to be a poor showman.
  1258. “Thank you! Thank you! You’re far too kind. I’ll be here all week!”
  1259. >You take a bow and sling your keytar back over your shoulder as you step down from the lip of the fountain you had been playing on.
  1260. >As you walk closer you discover that your extremely considerate crowd of one is in fact none other than Fluttershy.
  1261. “Oh hey there, Fluttershy, looks like you were enjoying the show.”
  1262. >”Oh, um… Yes I thought it was very nice, Mr. Anonymous. I particularly liked the energy you brought to the song.”
  1263. >The quiet butter yellow pony says with a small, but genuine, smile.
  1264. “It’s no big deal, just looking for something to pass the time with Sugarcube Corner being unexpectedly closed."
  1265. “So what brings you into town today?”
  1266. >You ask the uncharacteristically talkative yellow pegasus.
  1267. >”Actually, I was looking for you, Mr. Anonymous. What you said last night got me thinking and I wanted to ask you. Are…”
  1268. >The little yellow naturalist sets the basket she’s been carrying on the ground and starts rummaging through it.
  1269. >”… Boston Terrier puppies your kind of dog?”
  1270. >She asks as she pulls out a big-headed, bug-eyed, little black and white puppy and presents it to you.
  1271. “Awww, whaaaat? This is too sweet of you, senpai.”
  1272. >You say as you take the tiny dog and let it nibble on your fingers.
  1273. >Still, as cute as it is, you can’t tell if it’s the kind of dog you had before or not.
  1274. “Seriously, Fluttershy, this is a really kind gesture, but I’m not sure I can take on a new dog right now.”
  1275. >You say as you snuggle the little bug-eyed pup.
  1276. >”Oh, that’s okay, I figured that might be the case; see, he’s actually an invitation to come help me work today.”
  1277. >Fluttershy explains as she pulls a flyer out of her basket.
  1278. >”We have a bunch of new puppies at the cottage, so we’re holding an adoption fair this afternoon, and I could use some help getting the puppies ready, bathing them, getting them their first shots and so on.”
  1279. >”I thought if you came and helped out, maybe one of the puppies would help jog your memory. I could even pay you a little too!”
  1280. >The little yellow pony finishes excitedly.
  1281. >You mull it over for a minute: you were looking for a way to make some quick cash, and this has the added benefit of possibly helping with your memory issue.
  1282. “You know what, Fluttershy, it sounds like a blast.”
  1283. >You say as the little pony’s face lights up.
  1284. >”You won’t regret it, Mr.... um... Anon!”
  1285. >Fluttershy says with a satisfied smile as she floats up off the ground and the two of you make your way back to her cottage, better friends than you were the day before.
  1286. >The two of you spend the trip to the cottage talking about what needs to be done to get the puppies ready.
  1287. >”They’re kind of running all over the place right now, so all I really need you to do, Anon, is grab them, give them a quick bath, and put them in one of the kennels. “
  1288. >Fluttershy explains as the puppy in your arms attempts to scramble up your chest and chew on your mask and the two of you make your way down the sunny, tree-lined path leading out of Ponyville.
  1289. >”I’ll have other ponies coming to help with the adoptions this afternoon, so don’t worry about missing any plans you have set later in the day.”
  1290. >Fluttershy says as you round the corner to her cottage and see the large pen set up out front that’s teeming with puppies of all shapes and sizes.
  1291. >”You’ve got a tub and shampoo over here, along with a hose with both hot and cold taps.”
  1292. >Fluttershy explains as she shows you around your prep area.
  1293. >”Once you have the little dears cleaned up, put them in one of the kennels over here and put a tag on the door with the little buddy’s breed.”
  1294. >She says pointing to a stack of kennels next to a table with tags and leashes.
  1295. >”I’ll be inside getting some paper work ready, come get me if you need anything, Anon.”
  1296. >You nod in the affirmative as a ball of wrestling puppies goes rolling by your ankles.
  1297. >It looks to be 50/50 Great Dane and dachshund by mass as a litter of the little wiener dogs team up to take down the gangly larger pup.
  1298. >At the other end of the pen a beagle puppy notices your arrival and begins howling at the lanky alien that has intruded on its playtime, snapping a nearby pug awake that proceeds to immediately tackle the noisy puppy.
  1299. >Unfortunately, not before the beagle managed to set off the adorably mournful-looking basset and bloodhound puppies.
  1300. >Maybe you ought to regain some semblance of order first, or you could just dive right in.
  1301. >Either way, your original bug-eyed companion seems ready to help you.
  1302. >You scan your surroundings looking for something that might help you make headway against the adorable tide.
  1303. >You discover that Fluttershy has left you a fairly hearty bag of treats that you can use to get the puppies attention, along with a bag full of bones that would probably keep any individual puppy occupied for a good length of time, provided it doesn’t spark a fight with another interested pup.
  1304. >You also find a stash of chew toys, balls, and ropes that you can use to distract puppies, and perhaps even give overly interested ones crowding your work station something new to chase.
  1305. >Iggy, as you’ve decided to name your Bostonian companion, seems able to follow some basic commands and knows the moves Tackle, Growl, and Sand Attack.
  1306. >How useful any of the diminutive pup’s efforts are remains to be seen, but he should at least be able to help you double team some of the more rambunctious animals.
  1307. “BONES FOR THE BONE THRONE, SENPAI!”
  1308. >You shout as you toss a fist full of bones at the pack of wiener dogs swarming the larger puppy
  1309. >Most of the litter takes the bait and releases their prey in favor of the tasty treat you threw their way.
  1310. >However, one particularly tenacious pup is not swayed.
  1311. >This particularly stubborn dachshund has his jaws clamped around the Dane’s collar and is suspended in midair, thrashing around trying to bring the bigger pup to heel.
  1312. “IGGY, ATTACK PATTERN DELTA!”
  1313. >You shout to your big headed companion.
  1314. >The terrier springs into action, hitting the dachshund with a flying shoulder check and knocking it free of the dane.
  1315. >You waste no time collecting the distracted dachshunds and dumping them into the tub, but one of them is missing.
  1316. >As you scan the pen you see the last dachshund standing defiantly atop an overturned bucket.
  1317. >You may have captured his men, but General Oscar won’t be taken so easily.
  1318. >A grateful whimper distracts you from the wiener dog commander’s declaration of war, and you look down to see the dane puppy you rescued tugging on your pant leg.
  1319. >Looks like the gangly puppy has decided to join your cause!
  1320.  
  1321. >STATUS
  1322.  
  1323. >4/16 puppies captured, 2 recruited
  1324.  
  1325. (The dane puppy knows the commands Slam and Grapple which can be used to pin larger pups and even capture smaller puppies outright)
  1326.  
  1327. “Iggy, Scoob, divide and conquer!”
  1328. >You point at the baying basset hound and send the two pups after the noisy animal.
  1329. >Meanwhile, you turn your attention to the beagle and pug currently engaged in a scrap near the bucket of balls and chew toys.
  1330. >You grab a fist full of puppy treats and crouch down near the tumbling bundle of fur and teeth.
  1331. “Okay, guys, that’s enough.”
  1332. >You say as you hold out a treat in each hand to the two fierce combatants.
  1333. >The pug shoots you the most dramatic look of dire confusion before scampering away, but the beagle responds to your overtures and takes the treat from your outstretched hand.
  1334. >And then takes the pug’s treat from your other hand.
  1335. >You’ve recruited the Beagle to your cause!
  1336. >And just in time too, because things aren’t going so well for Igg and Scoob.
  1337. >Things started out okay for them when Iggy charged over and skidded to a stop in the dry dirt near the basset hound, kicking up a fierce sand attack and temporarily blinding the baying hound.
  1338. >Where things fell apart was when Scoob went in for the capture.
  1339. >The yelping of the blinded basset hound drew the attention of his much larger Bloodhound companion.
  1340. >The other large pup’s intervention completely thwarted Scoob’s attempt to capture the basset hound after Iggy immobilized him.
  1341. >You look over just in time to see Oscar leaping from the back of the Bloodhound to tackle Iggy.
  1342. >How will you and your newest crew member come to their aid?
  1343.  
  1344. >Status
  1345. >4/16 puppies captured, 3 recruited
  1346.  
  1347. (Your new beagle companion comes with the abilities Bite, Track and Battle Cry. Battle Cry being particularly useful as it buffs all nearby party members next action.)
  1348.  
  1349. “Hang on, guys, papa Anon is coming!”
  1350. >You call out to your surrounded canine companions as you charge into the fray.
  1351. >Odie howls as he runs after you close on your heels, the challenging bugle of the small dog invigorates you and the rest of your little buddies.
  1352. >You dive in grabbing the bloodhound and pry it off of Scooby.
  1353. “You’ve been a bad dog!”
  1354. >You grunt as you pick up the large wriggling puppy and toss it into the tub as it tries in vain to lick your face through your mask.
  1355. >As soon as Scooby is free, he goes to try and snap up the defiant wiener dog in the process of running roughshod over Iggy.
  1356. >Fortunately for the Generalissimo, Scooby trips over his own disproportionately long legs and ends up sprawled on the floor as the dachshund darts expertly out of the way.
  1357. >However, Oscar’s luck is short lived.
  1358. >For as soon as he darts to the side to avoid the falling dane, Iggy is there ready for him and the terrier’s massive dome crashes directly into the dachshunds rib cage sending him rolling away.
  1359. >Oscar swiftly rolls back to his feet and scampers off under a table to prepare for his next attack.
  1360.  
  1361. >Status
  1362. >5/16puppies captured, 3 recruited.
  1363.  
  1364. >You crouch down with your newly reunited squad of elite cuddly commandos and direct them to their new tasks with a series of super rad tactical hand gestures.
  1365. >The puppies, of course, do not follow and simply cock their heads at you in confusion.
  1366. “Come on, guys, you gotta work with me here.”
  1367. >You say with a sigh as you repeat yourself, this time using your words like a big boy.
  1368. “Scoob, pin the basset. Odie and Iggy, you’re on operation rescue 911.”
  1369. >You say, pointing to the doberman puppy tearing around the pen with a golden retriever hot on its heels.
  1370. >The puppies all bark in unison and get to work.
  1371. >Scoob ambles over to the basset hound, which is still in the process of pitifully pawing at its face after Iggy’s sand attack
  1372. >Your dane companion simply sits on the droopy dog, pinning it with his bulk.
  1373. >At the same time, Iggy and Odie go zipping off after the retriever and intercept it in short order.
  1374. >Iggy knocks the larger puppy’s legs out from under it with a flying body tackle as Odie latches onto its tail slowing it down.
  1375. >The retriever picks itself up off the ground and advances on your two small companions, hackles raised.
  1376. >But before it can attack the two smaller pups, the doberman comes up behind and grab the retriever by the neck, pinning it to the ground.
  1377. >The fluffy golden pup yelps helplessly for a moment before the black and tan pupper releases it and it goes scampering off to hide beneath a nearby table.
  1378. >The doberman then happily follows Odie and Iggy as the two prance back across the yard towards you.
  1379. >All this unfolds while you walk over to the corgi that simply can’t seem to reach those treats.
  1380. “Hey, buddy, if you be a good boy and sit for me, I’ll get you some of those treats.”
  1381. >To your surprise, the puppy immediately stops trying to reach the basket and waits patiently for you to hand him his treat.
  1382. “Wow, you’re a pretty smart little fella, aren’t you?”
  1383. >The corgi barks once as he sits there with a pleased look on his little doggy face.
  1384. “Feel like helping me round up your buddies?”
  1385. >You ask as you toss the dog a treat.
  1386. >Again he barks a single time before devouring his treat.
  1387. >It’s about this time that Iggy and Odie return with their new doberman friend.
  1388. >It looks like your little party has grown once again.
  1389.  
  1390. >Status
  1391. >5/16 puppies captured, 5 recruited
  1392.  
  1393. (The doberman has the abilities, Intimidate, Sneak, and Take Down)
  1394. (The corgi has only one ability; Direct Control. This unusually intelligent dog is not only capable of following complex commands; it can also pass along more complex commands to your other units.)
  1395.  
  1396. >You flash Ein another series of hand signals and the little corgi barks and affirmative.
  1397. >You leave Ein on a comfortable perch next to the snack bowl as you tiptoe over to the lab trying to drink from the bathwater.
  1398. >She either thinks nothing of you or fails to notice you, but regardless you’re able to sneak up on the lab and dump the puppy into the tub where it flails and splashes mightily for a moment before realizing this is the same stuff it was trying to drink and going back to lapping at the water.
  1399. >As you clean the pup and deposit it safe and sound in one of the kennels, Ein executes your masterstroke.
  1400. >He orders the doby around behind the table as the big black canine executes a commando crawl around behind Oscar’s hiding place.
  1401. >Once in position, the doberman lets out the most booming bark his under-developed frame can muster.
  1402. >Unfortunately, Oscar is not one to be intimidated by size.
  1403. >Rather than being driven from his hiding place, he charges your doby buddy and latches on to his face as he gnaws the big dog’s ears.
  1404. >It seems that your plan is about to crumble when Iggy charges under the table and smashes the dachshund's head on with his bulbous black and white dome, pinning the pup between his skull and the doby’s.
  1405. >The mighty blow sends Oscar reeling, allowing the doberman to toss him from under the table where a waiting Odie pounces on the little dog and pins him to the ground by his neck.
  1406. >Oscar struggles for a moment before letting his body go limp, surrendering to the beagle.
  1407. >You cage the lab and go over to collect the general, lifting him up out of Odie’s grip.
  1408. >The fierce little dog considers you for a moment before wagging his tail and licking your face, acknowledging your skill as a canine commander.
  1409. >Meanwhile, Scoob scoops up the bundle of fur and loose skin he’s been sitting on and unceremoniously dumps it in the tub for you to process.
  1410.  
  1411. >Status
  1412. >7/16 puppies captured, 6 recruited.
  1413.  
  1414. (Oscar is a natural leader and possesses the ability pack tactics. All puppers taking an action with Oscar gain a +3 bonus. He also possesses the abilities Clamp and Dig.)
  1415.  
  1416. >Looks like we just about have all these pups wrapped up.
  1417. >You think to yourself as you scoop up the sleeping bundle of jowels that is the bulldog puppy.
  1418. >He wriggles around confused for a moment before snuggling down into your arms.
  1419. >It almost seems cruel to drop him into the water now, especially since he’s just been snoozing this whole time.
  1420. >So you just slide him into his kennel and affix a tag to the sleeping pup’s door.
  1421. >As you turn to check on your other pup’s progress, you find them circling the pen confused.
  1422. “Come on, guys, this pen isn’t that big they have to be somewhe-“
  1423. >Halfway through that sentence two things happen.
  1424. >”AwooOoOOOoooo...”
  1425. >Odie howls alerting you to the hole in the pen
  1426. >”SOMEPONY, HELP US PLEASE!”
  1427. >And Fluttershy screams from around the edge of the cottage.
  1428. >You leap over the edge of the pen and dash around the corner, followed in hot pursuit by a horde of puppies wriggling through the hole after you.
  1429. >You round the corner in time to see a cowering yellow pegasus curled up around a fluffy golden retriever puppy, her body the only thing between the puppy and a smoking blackened timberwolf.
  1430. “FLUTTERSHY!”
  1431. >You shout out to her as you run, but there’s no way you’ll be able to reach her in time.
  1432. >Then, a glint of light catches your eye as it refracts off the eyes of a bug-eyed pup.
  1433. >It leaps down off a ledge on Fluttershy’s home and bounds in between the buttery yellow pegasus and the charging wolf, fixing the beast with a mesmerizing stare.
  1434. >The beast falters, pausing before the Pug’s mystifying gaze, giving you just enough time to draw your keytar and knock it back away from the cowering pegasus.
  1435. “GET BACK INSIDE!”
  1436. >You shout as you square off against the beast and your cadre of adorable furry companions fall in line behind you.
  1437.  
  1438. >Anon and man’s best friends vs Cinder Wolf
  1439. Anon:22 HP
  1440. Iggy: 5 HP
  1441. Odie: 7 HP
  1442. Ein: 5 HP
  1443. Doby: 10 HP
  1444. Scoob: 12 HP
  1445. Oscar: 8 HP
  1446. Leroy the Thunder Pug: 5 HP
  1447.  
  1448. Cinder Wolf: 50 HP
  1449.  
  1450. (Leroy the Thunder Pug joined your party. His bug eyes have seen things beyond the understanding of mere mortal men and just a fraction of the knowledge reflected within is enough to temporarily stun lesser beings. It is perhaps through this supreme knowledge that he refused your delicious treats earlier and was waiting to save the day. Or maybe you just freaked him out. Regardless Leroy knows the abilities Mesmerize and Foresight.)
  1451.  
  1452. >You bark orders to your impromptu pack, with Ein acting as relay for your more complex wishes.
  1453. “Odie, Battle Cry and join Doby in setting up a defensive perimeter for Ein.”
  1454. “Leroy, keep the wolf suppressed as long as you can”
  1455. “Scoob, Oscar, pin him down!”
  1456. “Iggy, show that punk who’s top dog around here”
  1457. >You put yourself between the wolf and the two dogs protecting Ein and crouch down into a defensive stance as Odie howls at the ready.
  1458. >As your other canine soldiers get into position you examine your foe.
  1459. >You’ve read about timberwolves in Twilight’s library, but it seems as though something is incredibly wrong with this one.
  1460. >It’s body, which should be made of fresh green wood, is charred and ashen, the few leaves that you can still see on its body are twisted and black.
  1461. >Perhaps even more concerning is the thick black smoke that seeps up out of the burnt, crumbling branches that composes its body.
  1462. >You can’t see any sign of a fire burning in the wolf, and yet it’s still billowing with tendrils of inky black smoke that carry ashes from its crumbling body skyward.
  1463. >You think it might have once been weak to fire, but that ship has already well since sailed, leaving its whole body brittle and weak.
  1464. >It seems like it might crumble with a few good whacks, like an old ashen log in an abandoned hearth.
  1465. >That’s extent of what you’re able to observe before Oscar and Scoob make their move.
  1466. >The tenacious dachshund leaps onto the gangly larger pup’s back as he charges the enemy.
  1467. >Just before Scoob crashes into the beast, Oscar leaps from his perch and latches onto a thick branch between the wolf’s shoulder blades, using his momentum to pull it off balance.
  1468. >Scoob capitalizes on the opening and pulls one of the legs out from under the ashen beast, sending it toppling to the ground.
  1469. >Once the beast is on the ground, Iggy charges in and asserts his dominance by snarling ferociously in the wolf’s face.
  1470. >The charred timberwolf, who can scarcely believe the day he’s having, has had just about enough of being pushed around by a group of puppies and a green alien.
  1471. >He opens his splintery maw, roaring at the small terrier in front of him, spraying a jet of ash from his jaws.
  1472. >But, between Iggy’s light feet and the withering mystical gaze of Leroy, the timberwolf’s attack goes wide leaving nothing but a smoky black ash heap in the grass emanating the same shadowy tendrils coming from the beast’s body.
  1473.  
  1474. Status
  1475. Anon:22 HP
  1476. Iggy: 5 HP
  1477. Odie: 7 HP
  1478. Ein: 5 HP
  1479. Doby: 10 HP
  1480. Scoob: 12 HP
  1481. Oscar: 8 HP
  1482. Leroy the Thunder Pug: 5 HP Mesmerize status: Charging
  1483.  
  1484. Cinder Wolf: 48 HP
  1485.  
  1486. >The cinder wolf attempts to shake itself free of the gangly dane puppy dangling from its leg without success.
  1487. >However, this beast is not to be deterred.
  1488. >It cranes its head back and blasts Scoob with a torrent of black smoke, sending the puppy tumbling back onto the grass with a whimper.
  1489. >The ashen wolf then rises from the ground shaking Oscar from its back in the process, sending the tenacious little dog crashing back to earth.
  1490. >Scoob seems a little stunned, but apart from some scrapes and a few smoking patches of fur doesn’t look to be much worse for wear.
  1491. >Still, there’s no guarantee that he’ll get off so lucky next time.
  1492. >You can’t let this fool keep stepping to your little buddies.
  1493. “Pick on somebody your own size, punk!”
  1494. >You shout as you charge forward and smack the smoldering beast in the head with your keytar.
  1495. >The colorful plastic connects with the wolf’s crumbling ashen head with a satisfying thunk, knocking a few sticks comprising its body free in the process.
  1496. >The wolf snarls at you: you clearly have his undivided attention for the time being.
  1497. >But as the beast bears his charred fangs at you, you notice something bizarre out of the corner of your eye.
  1498. >The chunks of driftwood you knocked free of the wolf seem to be crumbling away into nothing, as though consumed by some invisible flame before the ash is carried away on that thick black smoke.
  1499. “Move in close, boys, we can’t let him get away and hurt somepony!”
  1500. >You call out to Ein, and the little corgi takes cover behind you as he directs the rest of your squad to cut off the wolf’s escape route.
  1501.  
  1502. Status
  1503. Anon:22 HP
  1504. Iggy: 5 HP
  1505. Odie: 7 HP
  1506. Ein: 5 HP
  1507. Doby: 10 HP
  1508. Scoob: 10/12 HP
  1509. Oscar: 8 HP
  1510. Leroy the Thunder Pug: 5 HP Mesmerize status: Ready
  1511. (Note that all pups with the exception of Ein are taking a defensive action this round, making them harder to hit. This is being further boosted by Oscar's pack tactics.)
  1512.  
  1513. Cinder Wolf: 37 HP
  1514.  
  1515. >Odie howls, rallying the troops as the eight of you prepare for your next assault.
  1516. “Iggy, blind him!”
  1517. >Iggy slides in kicking up a cloud of dust at the timberwolf, but it just barely manages to leap back away from the attack.
  1518. “Ein! Send Scoob Oscar and Doby after the wolf!”
  1519. >You shout to the little fuzzy communications officer taking cover behind your shins.
  1520. >You hear a series of growls and yips from underfoot and the trio of puppies spring into action.
  1521. >Scoob’s big gangly body crashes into the wolf, sending the odd twig flying off the beasts body to the grass below where they slowly crumble away.
  1522. >Oscar darts in next, the general leaping of the ground his jaws ready to snap shut on the timberwolf’s crumbling hide.
  1523. >But alas, the little dachshund's jaws grasp empty air as the wolf leaps out of the little wiener dog’s trajectory.
  1524. >To make matters worse, Doby charges in directly behind Oscar’s failed assault and crashes into the former generalissimo, sending both of them tumbling to the ground.
  1525. >The timberwolf turns to pounce on the collapsed puppies, only to find Leroy perched on the pile of pups staring back with the unflinching gaze of a pup who has peered beyond the veil of this physical world.
  1526. >The backlash of that knowledge sends the timberwolf reeling backwards, stumbling directly into your waiting keytar,
  1527. “I told you, my little buddies are off limits!”
  1528. >You shout as you smack the wolf in the rib cage with a hearty thunk.
  1529. >As it flies back the wolf roars defiantly, coiling itself as it lands before springing forward its charred jaws open wide.
  1530. >It clamps its teeth around your shoulder as it passes, spinning you around and leaving a few jagged wounds in your flesh as it rips through your shirt.
  1531. >The beast’s momentum carries it forward, and it touches down in a low crouch.
  1532. >The beast stares you down as Ein cowers at your feet between you and the wolf with the rest of your crew behind you.
  1533.  
  1534. Status
  1535. Anon:13/22 HP
  1536. Iggy: 5 HP
  1537. Odie: 7 HP
  1538. Ein: 5 HP
  1539. Doby: 10 HP
  1540. Scooby: 10/12 HP
  1541. Oscar: 8 HP
  1542. Leroy the Thunder Pug: 5 HP Mesmerize status: Charging
  1543.  
  1544. Cinder Wolf
  1545. 21/50 HP
  1546.  
  1547. >Odie howls from behind you, stoking the fires within you and your men, even fortifying little Ein, allowing him to stand square and resolute on his stubby little legs.
  1548. >In fact, Ein doesn’t move from his position at all, soundly confident in his commander’s next move.
  1549. >Ein’s faith in you is not misplaced, as you stride over him and get directly up in the timberwolf’s grill and poke it in the face with your keytar.
  1550. “Big man, huh? Picking on mares and puppies.”
  1551. >You sneer derisively as you continue to poke the beast with your big hunk of plastic and magic crystals.
  1552. “You ain’t so tough, look at you. You’re getting your wicker man ass handed to you by a fistful of puppies and an autistic spaceman, senpai.”
  1553. >You give the beast one final love tap upside the head before drawing your keytar across your body in a defensive position.
  1554. >The beast is dumbfounded.
  1555. >It may be far too dumb to actually comprehend the full scope of your jab, but it knows full well when something is practically spitting in its face and challenging its dominance.
  1556. >A low rumbling snarl emanates from the back of the wolf’s throat as it makes up its mind to rip out yours.
  1557. >As all this is going on, Oscar makes his way behind the wolf and digs his way down into the thick grass surrounding Fluttershy’s cottage.
  1558. >He may not be fully buried, but you would have to be really looking to find the little chocolate pooch.
  1559. >As you and the wolf size each other up, Iggy and Scoob take up a defensive parimiter between you and Ein.
  1560. >You had yet to actually order them there, so either Ein anticipated the command you were going to give, or the little corgi isn’t feeling quite as brave as his front would suggest.
  1561. >As the wolf is busy staring daggers at you, Doby moves like a ghost and slips around the back of the beast completely undetected and takes up a hiding spot behind a shrub ready to spring at the crumbling wolf.
  1562. >After the past few seconds of mean mugging the wolf from behind your keytar, the beast snaps and lunges for your face.
  1563. >You bring up your keytar to block, and you manage to wedge the weapon between the beast’s jaws and send it flying back, but not before its splintery charcoal fangs scrape your face, tearing a hole in your mask and leaving a small cut above your eyebrow.
  1564.  
  1565. Status
  1566. Anon:10/22 HP
  1567. Iggy: 5 HP
  1568. Odie: 7 HP
  1569. Ein: 5 HP
  1570. Doby: 10 HP
  1571. Scoob: 10/12 HP
  1572. Oscar: 8 HP
  1573. Leroy the Thunder Pug: 5 HP Mesmerize status: Ready
  1574.  
  1575. Cinder Wolf
  1576. 17/50 HP
  1577.  
  1578. >Fortunately for you, your mask keeps the blood out of your eyes as Odie rallies your troop once more .
  1579. >Odie rallies your troop once more as you call back to Ein.
  1580. “Get ready, we’re finishing this now!”
  1581. >You plant your feet in a batters position and wind up for the swing before planting your keytar square in the wolf’s crunchy wooden sternum sending it sailing over Oscar’s hiding spot.
  1582. “Looks like its going clear out of the park! Finish it, Oscar!”
  1583. >You shout as Oscar leaps from cover, latching onto the spine of the airborn beast.
  1584. “This is the end! Everyone, dog pile on that splintery punk!”
  1585. >The order is scarcely out of your mouth before Doby shoots from his hiding place and blitzes the beast with an aerial tackle, spinning both the wolf and Oscar upright.
  1586. “It’s not over yet!”
  1587. >You bark as you press the momentum and bring your weapon crashing into the wolf’s spine, snapping branches and spiking the charred beast into the ground.
  1588. >Iggy, Scooby, and Odie rush in as soon as the beast is on the ground.
  1589. >Iggy slams into the beast with a full speed shoulder check, while Scoob just sends his massive bulk crashing into the monster’s frame.
  1590. >Odie, meanwhile, latches onto a branch in one of the wolf’s legs and begins jerking his head side to side trying to tug it loose.
  1591. >Even Ein and Leroy charge in from the rear to get a piece of the beast.
  1592. >Leroy scrabbles at the beast as Ein bounces off its charcoal hide like a little furry missile.
  1593. >The beast buckles under the pressure of your combined assault, and the glowing ember of light in its eyes goes out as whatever force giving its body cohesion dissipates and it collapses into a wolf shaped pile of burn twigs and branches.
  1594. “Great job, guys, we did-!”
  1595. >You shout as all the puppies bounce over to you and start hopping excitedly around your feet.
  1596. >Unfortunately, your celebration is cut off mid-sentence as the wolf’s body erupts into a furiously smoking pillar of shadow that writhes and churns for a few moments before dissipating, leaving nothing but a heap of ashes in its wake.
  1597. >Or, at least, so it appears at first glance, upon closer inspection something glinting in the heap of ashes catches your eye.
  1598. >You reach down and pull the object free of the ashes and discover a rather sizable translucent green gemstone.
  1599. >You pocket the gem for now and turn back to your adorably brave squad.
  1600. “As I was saying, You did it! Who’s a bunch of good boys? You are!”
  1601. >You say as you crouch down and get knocked into the grass by a furry slobbery wave of seven puppies all trying to lick you at once.
  1602.  
  1603. VICTORY
  1604.  
  1605. FINAL STATUS
  1606. ANON:10/22 HP
  1607. IGGY: 5 HP
  1608. ODIE: 7 HP
  1609. EIN: 5 HP
  1610. DOBY: 10 HP
  1611. SCOOBY: 10/12 HP
  1612. OSCAR: 8 HP
  1613. LEROY THE THUNDER PUG: 5 HP
  1614.  
  1615. CINDER WOLF: DEFEATED
  1616. HP -29/50
  1617.  
  1618. You obtained: Wolf's Tear. Someone may be able to make something very interesting for you with this.
  1619.  
  1620. “Okay guys, that’s enough. We need to go check on Fluttershy”
  1621. >You laugh as you push the puppies off of you and they all snap back into formation when they remember the pegasus they were supposed to be protecting.
  1622. “Okay, boys. March!”
  1623. >You give your squad one final command before heading back across the yard to Fluttershy’s cottage.
  1624. >After a particularly adorable march, the eight of you arrive at Fluttershy’s back door.
  1625. “Hey Fluttershy! It’s all over, you can come out now.”
  1626. >You knock on the door, opening it when there’s no response to your call.
  1627. >Inside you find Fluttershy cowering on the floor with her hooves over her head as the retriever puppy tugs playfully at her mane.
  1628. “Cut that out, guy.”
  1629. >You say as you pick up the retriever and tuck it under your arm.
  1630. “Fluttershy? Everything’s okay, you can open your eyes now.”
  1631. >You gently reassure the frightened yellow mare as you rub her head with your free hand.
  1632. >”Anon?”
  1633. >Fluttershy peeps timidly from underneath her hooves to discover you and the rest of your crew.
  1634. >”Oh, thank goodness you’re all okay!”
  1635. >Fluttershy springs up and throws her hooves around your neck in a relieved hug.
  1636. >”I was going to get help, but then I was afraid something might happen and you would all be alone with no one to help you.”
  1637. >She explains as she flutters back down to the floor.
  1638. >”But… I let my fear get the best of me and ended up being completely useless.”
  1639. >Fluttershy paws at the floor of her cottage, ashamed at her cowardice as she hides behind her mane.
  1640. “Hey, it’s okay: no one got hurt too badly and I think it was brave of you to stay and try to help.”
  1641. >Fluttershy perks up as you reassure the little yellow pegasus only to see the blood leaking from your forehead as you pat yourself down trying to prove that you’re no worse for wear.
  1642. >The little mare gasps as she notices the wound and darts off.
  1643. >”Stay right there! I’m going to get the first aid kit.”
  1644. >Fluttershy says in a stern tone as she vanishes around a corner.
  1645. “Besides, if you had left who would have been here to patch me up?”
  1646. >You continue as she flaps her way back into view, cradling a first aid kit in her hooves.
  1647. >”I… I suppose that’s true.”
  1648. >She stammers momentarily but ultimately sounds slightly more sure of herself than she had before, as you pull off your mask and let her clean and bandage the scrape on your forehead.
  1649. “Man, Rarity’s going to be upset I got her handiwork torn up like this.”
  1650. >You wince as Fluttershy treats your shoulder.
  1651. >”Oh, she might act that way, but I’m sure if she does it’s just to hide how worried she is.”
  1652. >”There, all done! “
  1653. >Fluttershy says with a pleased smile and a final wince from you as she ties the bandage around your bicep.
  1654. >”You don’t have to finish with the puppies if you don’t want to; after all you’ve done I can take care of the rest from here.”
  1655. >The little mare says apologetically as she glances at your bandaged arm.
  1656. “No way, I said I’d help out and I’m going to see it through. Besides, this is barely a scratch.”
  1657. >You pantomime brushing dust off your shoulder as you reassure the little naturalist that you are still in fact fit for duty.
  1658. “But I wouldn’t mind some company.”
  1659. >Fluttershy smiles as you lead the way and the 10 of you make your way back out to the puppy pen.
  1660. >The two of you make quick work of cleaning the remaining cooperative puppies, but you pause when you get to the jet black Great Dane with the white diamond shaped flare on his chest.
  1661. “You know, Fluttershy, I’ve been thinking about what you said. That maybe one of the puppies would remind me of my past.”
  1662. >”Oh, did this little guy help you remember something?!”
  1663. >Fluttershy asks excitedly as she zips over from the drying station.
  1664. “Unfortunately no, I haven’t gotten anything beyond the occasional vague familiar feeling I had last night.”
  1665. >You say with a sigh.
  1666. “Still, I realized something. I shouldn’t let my search for the past blind me to new friends in the present.”
  1667. >You say as you heft up the gangly dane puppy into your arms.
  1668. “This little big guy took one for the team during the fight with the timberwolf. I think it’s only fair that I adopt such a loyal companion.”
  1669. >The puppy's eyes light up and he licks your face excitedly as he hears the word adopt.
  1670. “Besides, maybe raising a new dog will help me remember my old one.”
  1671. >You say, smiling from behind the enthusiastic puppy kisses of your new buddy.
  1672. >”Of course, Anon, I think that’s a wonderful idea. Let me just go grab you a new puppy parent kit.”
  1673. >Fluttershy beams as she goes to get the kit and the adoption paperwork.
  1674. “Well, what are we going to call you, huh, buddy?”
  1675. >You ask the big puppy cradled in your arms.
  1676. “In retrospect, Scoob seems a little bit silly. How about Ace, would you like that buddy?”
  1677. >Your new friend barks in agreement at your suggestion.
  1678. “Well then, Ace it is!”
  1679. >You grin as you tousle Ace’s floppy black ears.
  1680. >”Well, this should take care of you two, just sign here.”
  1681. >Fluttershy says with a smile as she hands you a piece of paper and a sack of her own homemade blend of dog food.
  1682. >”Oooh, I like the name. Because he has the one diamond in his fur, right?”
  1683. >Fluttershy coos as you hand her the filled out adoption paper work.
  1684. “It just felt right, you know?”
  1685. >You respond as you grab hold of all of Ace’s essentials.
  1686. >”Well, I think we’re just about done here, and I’m so glad you were able to make a new friend, Anon.”
  1687. >Fluttershy says as she hands you 20 bits for helping her out with the puppies.
  1688. >”And I’m so sorry we had that whole incident with the timberwolf.”
  1689. “Oh yeah, that reminds me, there was something really wrong with the timberwolf that attacked you.”
  1690. >You say as Fluttershy’s unnecessary apology jogs your memory.
  1691. >”Oh my, it’s not hurt too badly is it? We may need to go find it and treat it later.”
  1692. >Fluttershy says, concern in her voice at the prospect of an injured animal.
  1693. “Well, that’s the thing, after we knocked it out it kinda… How do I put this?”
  1694. >You say as you struggle to find the words.
  1695. “Burst into flames and was reduced to a pile of ash.”
  1696. >You say, deciding sugar coating it wasn’t going to make this any easier for the little nature lover.
  1697. >”Oh my goodness, you need to take me there right away!”
  1698. >Fluttershy says in the closest tone to a shout you’ve ever heard the quiet little pony make.
  1699. “Wait here, Ace.”
  1700. >You say as you put him in one of the spare cages and follow Fluttershy around the side of the cottage.
  1701. >The two of you find the remains of the timberwolf mostly blown away in the wind but a small heap of ash remains of the charred beast.
  1702. >”Oh dear, poor thing.”
  1703. >Fluttershy says, tears welling up in her eyes as she sifts through the ashes.
  1704. >”You need to tell Twilight about this: I’ve never heard of a timberwolf spontaneously combusting before. It could be a sign of something terribly wrong in the Everfree Forest.”
  1705. >Fluttershy urges you before flying back into the house and returning in a few seconds with a mason jar.
  1706. >She scoops some of the ashes up into the jar before handing it to you.
  1707. >”Show this to Twilight, maybe she can figure something out.”
  1708. >She demands as the two of you return to the pen and collect Ace.
  1709. >”Sorry I pushed you around like that, Anon.”
  1710. >Fluttershy says, floating behind you like the word's most repentant balloon as you put a leash on Ace and get ready to head back into town.
  1711. “Don’t worry about it, you were just concerned.”
  1712. >You say waving a hand dismissively.
  1713. “I’ll be sure to ask twilight to look into it.”
  1714. >You promise as you finish collecting everything.
  1715. >”Thank you Anon, I’d feel a lot better if twilight was looking into what it was that hurt that poor animal. You two stay safe on the trip back to town now.”
  1716. >Fluttershy says with a relived smile as she sends the two of you off.
  1717. “Don’t worry, we can take care of our selves!”
  1718. >Ace barks in agreement as you wave back towards Fluttershy as you make your way over the little bridge and down the path to Ponyville.
  1719.  
  1720. Gained Companion: Ace!
  1721.  
  1722. >As you and your little buddy make your way through town, you pass a familiar row of shops.
  1723. >Time Turner’s Timepieces and More, Dapper Dan’s Grooming Emporium, and Sofas and Quills.
  1724. >Judging from the array of clocks in the window of Time Turner’s shop, you still have some time before you’re supposed to meet up with Twilight at the library.
  1725. “What do you say to a detour, buddy?”
  1726. >You ask the clumsy black puppy plodding along at your heels.
  1727. >Ace responds with his usual agreeable bark and after a moment’s consideration, you make your way to the entrance of the ill-fated Sofas and Quills.
  1728. >As you open the door Davenport greets you with a burst of manic energy.
  1729. >”You’re back! Changed your mind about that sofa didn’t you, sir? I knew you would, no one can resist the Master Relaxer 2000! It’s our number one seller!”
  1730. >Davenport beams as he gestures towards what can only be described as the most obscenely plush sofa you’ve seen in your life.
  1731. “Actually, I think that’s probably above my pay grade, I came in today to snag those sunglasses I had my eye on yesterday."
  1732. >Davenport visibly deflates as he plods behind the counter and pulls out the sunglasses you requested.
  1733. >”That’ll be ten bits, sir.”
  1734. >He mopes dejectedly as he takes your money and wraps your purchase.
  1735. >You can’t help but feel sorry for the guy and you pull the quill set out of your pocket.
  1736. “These have come in really handy, by the way, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the work I have planned for the afternoon without them.”
  1737. >As you pull out the quill set Davenport perks up again as he grins from ear to ear.
  1738. >”That’s excellent news, sir, come back any time for your quill or sofa-related needs!”
  1739. >A much more chipper Davenport shouts as you leave the store.
  1740. “Okay, buddy, next stop.”
  1741. >You tell Ace as you open the door to Dapper Dan’s shop.
  1742. >”Pleasure to see you again, sir, though I must admit it is a bit sooner than I would have expected.”
  1743. >Dan greets you with a concerned look as you walk through the door
  1744. >“You haven’t been having any problems with your purchases, have you?”
  1745. “No, nothing like that, I just wanted to pick up that conditioner and exfoliant bundle you had mentioned yesterday.”
  1746. >You smile and the sales pony relaxes as he reaches to a shelf behind the counter and retrieves your selection.
  1747. >”That’s good to hear, sir, I’d hate to have sold one of our customers an unsatisfactory product.”
  1748. >He says as he wraps your purchase and you plink six bits down on the counter.
  1749. >You just laugh as you collect your purchase.
  1750. “No need to worry about that, I think you’ve made a Dapper Dan Man of both me and Spike.”
  1751. >You say as you wave farewell to the shopkeeper and step back out into the quiet streets of Ponyville, making your way towards the only shop you didn’t manage to visit yesterday: Time Turner’s Timepieces and More.
  1752. >Only to find a notice reading, “Closed for Gala preparation” taped to the door.
  1753. “Oh well, we probably didn’t have enough bits for anything in there anyway, buddy.”
  1754. >You console Ace with a sigh and turn to head off to Twilight's library.
  1755. >That’s when something moving behind the window of Time Turner’s shop catches your eye.
  1756. >You wheel around and try the shop door, feeling a weight form in the pit of your stomach when you discover it swings open freely.
  1757. “This doesn’t feel right, Ace. Wait outside.”
  1758. >You warn your new furry companion and step through the door.
  1759. > As you walk through the door, you’re greeted by a soft ticking that fills the air of the dimly lit shop.
  1760. “Hello, Mr. Turner? Anyone there?”
  1761. >You call out into the quiet shop as you slowly make your way through the rows of old grandfather clocks filling the front room.
  1762. >As you approach the desk you hear something echoing out of the back room.
  1763. >”… the fool has already fled. No matter, his interference is ultimately irrelevant.”
  1764. >You manage to catch a deep voice quietly musing to itself, as you sneak towards the door before a loud FWOOSH punctuates the speaker’s sentence.
  1765. >You rush around the corner, only to find an empty storeroom with the faintest swirls of black smoke lingering by a work station at the back of the poorly lit room.
  1766. >You look around the room for the owner of the voice, only to find the little work room completely empty.
  1767. >You look back towards what appears to be the only way in or out of the room and you can’t help but wonder.
  1768. “Did I just imagine the whole thing?”
  1769. >You mumble aloud to yourself as you make your way back out of the shop.
  1770. >You stop at the front desk and scrawl a note on a torn scrap of paper you find there.
  1771. >”Sorry to have come in uninvited, thought I saw someone in the shop and the front door was open. Wanted to ask you about a watch you made; hope to speak with you after the Gala. -Anonymous”
  1772. >You go to leave the note on the desk, when you catch a glimpse of something else written on the opposite side of your note.
  1773. >“It pains me to have to leave now, but I’m sorry. I fear I may already be too late.”
  1774. >The rest of the note is illegible but what you can read doesn’t appear to match the script on the, “Ask me about our installment plan” sign near the register.
  1775. >Maybe Time Turner needed to meet with this pony and closed up early to catch them before they left.
  1776. >Best Time Turner doesn’t know you’ve been prying into his private affairs.
  1777. >You think to yourself as you slip your note back onto the counter.
  1778. >You step back out into the sun, wishing you could lock Time Turner’s door for him, as you greet the puppy that has been patiently waiting for you.
  1779. “Well, Ace, that was a bust. You ready to go meet up with Twilight?”
  1780. >You ask as the puppy jumps up and runs excitedly up and down the street.
  1781. “Okay then, lets go!”
  1782. >You say as you grab Ace’s leash and head off towards Twilight’s library.
  1783. >You spend the walk to Twilight’s playing fetch with Ace, using a ball you found in Fluttershy’s care package, and by the time the two of you arrive you’re holding the exhausted, panting puppy in your arms.
  1784. >You set Ace down and knock on the little red door of the Golden Oak Library.
  1785. >”Oh, Anon, you’re here. Come on inside and we’ll…“
  1786. >Twilight’s greeting stops abruptly when she looks up and notices the bandages wrapping your shoulder and the red gauze peeking through a hole in your mask.
  1787. >”Oh my gosh, Anon, are you bleeding? What happened to you this morning? And why do you have a dog?”
  1788. >Twilight rattles of a series of rapid fire questions, her intensity only flagging when she looks down and notices the gangly black puppy sitting patiently at your heels.
  1789. >It occurs to you too late that maybe you should have swung by home and swapped out the torn clothing from your timberwolf encounter.
  1790. “Well, it’s an interesting story, actually. Do you mind if we discuss it inside, though?”
  1791. >You ask as Twilight flushes beet red and scrambles out of the doorway.
  1792. >”Of course, I’m so sorry; here I am interrogating you while you’re standing in the street bleeding.”
  1793. >Twilight stumbles over herself apologizing, as you duck through the front door of the library.
  1794. “Now then, allow me to answer those questions in reverse order, senpai.”
  1795. >You say as you take a seat on a nearby sofa and idly wonder if it’s a Davenport original.
  1796. >You conclude that, given Twilight's quill consumption, it probably is.
  1797. “This is Ace, my new pet and comrade-in-arms.”
  1798. >You say as you scratch the yawning pup behind the ears before he flops to the ground, his head resting on your shoe.
  1799. “I say comrade-in-arms because this morning he and I, along with the help of several other tenacious pups, ended up protecting Fluttershy from a rather unusual timberwolf attack that interrupted adoption fair preparations.”
  1800. >You pull the jar of cinder wolf ash out of your pocket and plunk it down on the coffee table in front of you.
  1801. “Finally, yes, I might still be bleeding a little, but Fluttershy patched me up. So don’t worry about it, senpai.”
  1802. >”But… how did… timberwolf… why wouldn’t Fluttershy… puppies?”
  1803. >Twilight stammers for a moment, unable to form a proper sentence, before finally gathering her composure enough to form a complete question.
  1804. >”What exactly do you mean by unusual?”
  1805. >Twilight asks, her voice stern and resolute as she finally manages to catch her train of thought.
  1806. “Well, it looked like it had been set on fire. Charred black and smoking, even.”
  1807. >You explain as you pick up the jar of ash.
  1808. “And then, when we managed to knock it out, it just crumbled away.”
  1809. >A soft plinking sound fills the room as you tap a fingernail on the side of the jar.
  1810. >”This is all that’s left of it.”
  1811. >You set the jar back on the table and slide it in Twilight’s direction.
  1812.  
  1813. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and Anon has just slid you a jar full of incinerated timberwolf.
  1814. >Of course this is deeply concerning, but this is also the worst possible time to deal with a problem like this.
  1815. >How are you going to be able to spend time with Anon and beat Pinkie at dinner if you have to spend the day investigating some mysteriously combustible timberwolf?
  1816. >Maybe, just this once, it’d be best to pass the bit up to Princess Celestia.
  1817. >Besides, it’s not like a pile of ashes is in danger of hurting anypony.
  1818. >”Hey, Twilight, penny for your thoughts?”
  1819.  
  1820. >You are Anon, and a certain purple book horse has been sitting stock-still staring at the jar of ashes you slid to her.
  1821. >You can practically see the gears in her head turning away.
  1822. “Hey, Twilight, penny for your thoughts?”
  1823. >You wave a hand in between her and the jar, trying to get her attention.
  1824. >”AGH!”
  1825. >The little librarian jumps as you snap her back to reality.
  1826. >”Sorry, I was just trying to figure out the best way to handle this.”
  1827. >Twilight turns her attention back to the jar.
  1828. >“At any rate, I can’t say I’ve heard of anything like that happening before, maybe the Princess will know more about it.”
  1829. >Twilight says with a sigh as she floats a scroll and a quill over to the table and jots out a quick note to the Princess.
  1830. >”Spike, would you send this to the Princess for me, please?”
  1831. >Twilight shouts as the scroll magically snaps shut and she sends it flying into the kitchen where you hear Spike call back.
  1832. >”Ow. No problem, Twilight!”
  1833. >You hear the little dragon groan, most likely because the projectile missive bounced off his scaly little head, before you hear a fwoosh consume the letter and send it on its way to Princess Celestia.
  1834. >”Now, why don’t we get down to that magical experiment I invited you over for while we wait to see what the Princess turns up?”
  1835. >Twilight says as she smiles slightly wider than necessary.
  1836. >You get the distinct impression that Twilight’s letter to the Princess is motivated more by a desire to make time for this experiment of hers than any actual request for guidance.
  1837. >Still, Twilight is hardly an Irresponsible pony and she wouldn’t wait on Celestia’s guidance if she thought this was so important that it needed immediate attention.
  1838.  
  1839. >How do you want to handle it?
  1840.  
  1841. >You’re pretty sure that Twilight knows what she’s talking about better than you do, but you still want to make sure she’s considered everything.
  1842. “Are you sure we have time to wait on Celestia for this? I mean, what if there are more of these things prowling around Fluttershy’s cottage?”
  1843. >Twilight flashes the self-satisfied, little know-it-all grin you’ve become so familiar with over the last few months.
  1844. >It’s the same one she always gets before she launches into a lecture.
  1845. >”While I appreciate your concern over Fluttershy’s safety, I’m quite happy to inform you that the odds of another attack are extremely low.”
  1846. >Twilight says as she floats a book of the shelf and flips it open to an entry on timberwolves.
  1847. >”Timberwolves are pack animals by nature, and continue to work together even through severe injury. Ergo, if there were more like the one you encountered earlier, or even more members of that particular timberwolf’s pack, you would have seen them.
  1848. >She snaps the books shut as she finishes speaking and slides it back into its place on the shelf.
  1849. >Well, as long as Twilight thinks it’s safe, you don’t really see the point in pressing the issue.
  1850. “All right then, let’s get to work on this new experiment of yours.”
  1851. >You follow Twilight down into the lab as you call back over your shoulder.
  1852. “Hey Spike! Save me some of whatever you’re cooking in there, bro!”
  1853. >”You got it, senpai!”
  1854. >You catch the little dragon shouting back to you as you descend the steps to Twilight’s subterranean lab.
  1855. “So, what are we working on today, Professor Sparkle?”
  1856. >You ask as the stairs deposit the two of you in a room full of whirring, blinking machinery.
  1857. >”Well, I know how much interest you’ve been taking in the fundamentals of magic, so I think you’ll find today’s experiment very exciting.”
  1858. >Twilight says with an enthusiastic grin as she makes her way over to her work bench.
  1859. >”As I’m sure you’ll recall, I’ve been experimenting with new applications for basic elemental magic.”
  1860. >You nod an affirmative as you think back to some of the number crunching and spell theory work you’ve done with her over the past few months.
  1861. >”After all that work, I’m finally ready to begin practical trials!”
  1862. >Twilight beams as she levitates you a small book and a two and a half foot long rod with copper wire coiled around its length and a gem set at the head of the apparatus.
  1863. >”The book is a collection of our research notes on my work so far, and the rod is related to your roll in this experiment.”
  1864. >You flip through the book and see page after page of notes on utilizing basic magical expressions of elemental energy to create a whole array of different constructs.
  1865. >You even recognize your own handwriting on a handful of the later pages.
  1866. >It was slow going, learning magical theory, but you’re proud that you’ve come far enough to have some of your work featured in an actual spell book.
  1867. >”It’s a magical detangler, if any of the spells get out of hand, you just whack them with that and you should be able to destabilize them into harmless mana.”
  1868. >Twilight’s voice snaps you out of your reverie, allowing you to turn your attention to the rod and give it a few test swings.
  1869. “Sounds simple enough, let’s get this show on the road.”
  1870. >You’re a little disappointed that your role is basically just to hit things, but it’s not as though you can cast these spells yourself.
  1871. >”Let’s start with something simple first, shall we?”
  1872. >You nod again as you drum your fingers on the grip of the magical detangler before Twilight shouts.
  1873. >”BLIZZARD BULWARK!”
  1874. >And the temperature in the room drops drastically as the little unicorn fires from her horn a decent-sized wall of swirling snowflakes and ice shards into the air between the two of you.
  1875. >”Now, Anon, before you go detangling this shield, would you please hit it a few times with a more mundane object? I need to test its viability as a means of defense.”
  1876. >You set aside the detangler and pick up your keytar, giving the whirling barrier of snow and ice a couple taps before finally hauling back and nailing the wall as hard as you can.
  1877. >The two minor blows practically bounce off Twilight’s frosty shield, but your final swing sinks into the cloud of ice and snow before finally being robbed of its momentum a safe distance from Twilight’s body.
  1878. >You get the impression that you might be able to get through it if you could swing hard enough, but as it stands it’s more than you can get through.
  1879. “Well, I’m not getting through that any time soon.”
  1880. >You say as you lean on your keytar admiring the glittering wall of ice and snow Twilight has created.
  1881. >”That’s excellent news!”
  1882. >Twilight grins as she claps her hooves together and dismisses the spell.
  1883. >”More magically gifted unicorns can create barriers of pure mana to defend themselves, but that’s beyond the grasp of the common pony. Hopefully, this spell will put reliable defensive magic within everypony’s reach!”
  1884. >Twilight beams as you applaud her work.
  1885. >”Now these spells are basically a framework, one would be able to run any element through them, its just some combinations are more useful than others.”
  1886. >Twilight explains as she prepares for her next demonstration.
  1887. >”For example, say you’ve been grabbed by manticore or a hydra or something. THUNDER SHROUD!”
  1888. >Twilight shouts as her horn glows yellow beneath her fuchsia magical aura and she cloaks her body in electricity.
  1889. >”Covering yourself in a layer of frost, or setting yourself on fire would hardly be as useful.”
  1890. >Twilight says as she dismisses the crackling electricity.
  1891. >”And, of course, we aren’t limited to shields and defensive frames. This is more a proof of concept because you said it would be cool, Anon, but you never know, maybe changelings will invade Canterlot one day and everypony will be glad a spell like this exists.”
  1892. >”BLADE OF FIRE!”
  1893. >Twilight shouts as she summons a simple sword of flame into existence.
  1894. >”You have some basic mental control of its position, and as the caster you can touch it without being burned.”
  1895. >Twilight says as her horn glows red beneath her magical aura and she bobs the sword around the room before grabbing the hilt with her hoof and dismissing the spell.
  1896. “I’m not going to lie, I’m experiencing some pretty intense magical envy here, Twilight.”
  1897. >You say, profoundly jealous of the ability to conjure burning swords at whim.
  1898. >”Well, prepare to turn even greener, because I’ve saved the best for last!”
  1899. >Twilight says as her magical aura envelopes the detangler and floats it back your way.
  1900. >”You might need this: this is the portion of the experiment that things might get a little out of control.”
  1901. >Twilight's horn lights up cycling through dull red, icy blue and pale yellow.
  1902. >”FIRE SPRITE, BLIZZARD SPRITE, THUNDER SPRITE!”
  1903. >Twilight shouts as she calls into existence a bouncing little ball of flame, a floating snowball suspended in a cloud of ice crystals, and a little gray thundercloud that occasionally shoots off little bolts of lightning.
  1904. >All three of which bear a little smiley face as they float around the room examining random objects.
  1905. >”This is the magnum opus of my elemental construct work: they require a steady stream of mana to maintain, but they’re so versatile that their applications are practically limitless.”
  1906. >Twilight says with a smug smile as the grumbling storm cloud floats behind her releasing a burst of static electricity leaving the self-satisfied book horse with a fluffy purple and fuchsia afro.
  1907. >You try to fight it back, but as you stand there, looking at Twilight rocking that afro, it’s like fighting the sunrise. It ain’t going to happen, and with one last muffled chuckle you burst into laughter.
  1908. ”Oh man, these things are hilarious! We need to show them to Pinkie.”
  1909. >You say when you finally regain your composure.
  1910.  
  1911. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and you just showed Anon the wonderful fruits of your magical labor together, and all he has to say is we need to show Pinkie.
  1912. >What does that spastic, pink, diabetic coma waiting to happen have that you don’t that keeps Anon thinking of her instead of you?
  1913. >You can’t help but seethe with jealousy as you picture Anon getting further and further away from you; and as you do the fuchsia glow enveloping your horn begins to change.
  1914. >It shifts down into lavender and finally into a deep dark violet: the sprites floating around the room beginning to change.
  1915. >A shadow swirls around their bodies before the little spheres unfold, revealing a trio of small angular humanoid figures with a sharp triangular head and limbs that taper into a point.
  1916. >Each of the three is cloaked in flame, frost, and electricity respectively, but what grabs your attention the most are the sharp, jagged, red eyes that adorn their head.
  1917. >Eyes twisted into a jealous glare.
  1918. >You try to shut off the flow of magic fueling the sprites, but the spell refuses to respond and you feel panic grip you as you scream.
  1919. >”ANON, DO SOMETHING!”
  1920.  
  1921. >You are Anon, and shit just went completely sideways.
  1922. >You grab the detangler and slide across a desk, landing between Twilight and the rogue sprites.
  1923. “Twilight, what happened! Can you shut it off?”
  1924. >You speak in short, simple sentences, trying to give the panicking librarian something to focus on.
  1925. >”I-I-I don’t know! My focus slipped and then the spell went haywire! And now I can’t dismiss the spell!”
  1926. >Twilight stammers as she cowers behind you.
  1927. “Well then, we’ll just have to take them out the old-fashioned way!”
  1928. >You say as you brandish the detangler and plant your feet between the sprites and Twilight.
  1929.  
  1930. >Anon Vs. Rogue Unversed Trio
  1931. Anon
  1932. HP: 20/22
  1933.  
  1934. Fire Flood: HP 10/10
  1935. Blizzard Flood: HP 10/10
  1936. Thunder Flood: HP 10/10
  1937.  
  1938. >First things first, you need to remember what Twilight taught you about magic and take stock of the situation.
  1939. >Elemental magic often has another element that disrupts it, and fortunately for you fire and ice are mutually destructive.
  1940. >Maybe you can use that to your advantage if you knock the haywire sprites into each other, or manage to catch one in another’s attack.
  1941. >Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick elemental response available for the electrical sprite.
  1942. >You might be able to find something around the room that could help you though.
  1943. >You scan the room before you’re already holding something that can help you in your hand.
  1944. >Maybe you can stop this before it starts with the detangler.
  1945. >You almost turn around and boop Twilight on the horn to try and disrupt the flow of mana to the sprites, but just before you do you remember an important fact of unicorn physiology and think better of it.
  1946. >Normally a horn as all the sensitivity of a fingernail, but as it’s magically charged it becomes increasingly sensitive to physical stimulus.
  1947. >With the juice Twilight has running through it right now, you might knock her out or worse if you tried to disrupt the spell that way.
  1948. >Not to mention the potential damage the backlashing spell might do on its own.
  1949. >And with all her energy being funneled into maintaining the sprites, you don’t think you can count on any magical assistance from Twilight.
  1950. >Maybe if you had the magical equivalent of a faraday cage you could break the connection, but you don’t see anything like that at a glance.
  1951. “Looks like the old-fashioned way is the only way for now.”
  1952. >You mumble to yourself as you turn your attention back towards the sprites just in time to see a streak of dark blue shrouded in frost leaping at you.
  1953. “You two need to chill out!”
  1954. >You shout as you just barely manage to get the detangler up between you and the icy airborne sprite, its pointy limbs flailing wildly inches from your face, before you send it flying backwards into its fiery counterpart.
  1955. >The burning sprite sizzles and recoils as its frosty counterpart crashes into it.
  1956. >The ice sprite fares considerably worse, between being knocked back across the room and crashing directly into its opposing element it just can’t take the heat you’re dishing out.
  1957. “We’ll have this under control in no time, Twilight!”
  1958. >You flash the bookish little magician a thumbs up as the frost sprite shudders and screeches before being consumed from within by a black flame.
  1959.  
  1960. >”We’ll have this under control in no time, Twilight.”
  1961. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and Anon’s voice seems like it’s a million miles away.
  1962. >This all your fault: that THING nearly ripped Anon’s face clean off, and it’s all because you brought him down here to show off.
  1963. >What if one of these abominations you’ve made manages to really hurt him?
  1964. >What if they kill him?!
  1965. >You can practically feel your heart trying to burst out of your chest as an icy fear grips your soul.
  1966.  
  1967. >You are Anonymous, and something's wrong.
  1968. >The sprites in front of you shudder as they stand upright their limbs grow longer and more powerful.
  1969. >Their featureless, semi-fluid bodies become more solid and gain definition as silver piping seems to draw out some kind of soldier’s uniform on their frames, and a jet black crest appears on their chests.
  1970. >Finally, their pointy noodle arms bulk up and split at the ends into a trio of wicked claws as their heads sweep back into a diamond shaped dome with a pair of wing like horns hanging off the back.
  1971. >Their red eyes twist into a strangely fearful expression as the electrical sprite coats itself once again in a shroud of crackling lightning and the fire sprite ignites a small flaming blade at the end of each of its claws.
  1972.  
  1973. Status
  1974.  
  1975. Anon
  1976. HP: 20/22
  1977.  
  1978. Fire Scrapper, 19/25
  1979. Blizzard Flood: HP 0/10 REKT
  1980. Thunder Scrapper 25/25
  1981.  
  1982. “Don’t get comfy, buddy, you’re next!”
  1983. >You shout as you charge the monstrous figure with the burning claws.
  1984. >It raises its claws to block against your attack but the detangler rips through the fiery blades shredding their spell matrix and dispelling the blades in a twist of errant flame.
  1985. >The corrupted sprite reels back as its weapons vanish but it’s not enough to evade the detangler as it crashes into the monster’s shoulder.
  1986. “What’s the matter, guy? Can’t take the heat?”
  1987. >The rogue construct screeches furiously as you smirk at it, but your gloating is cut short as its companion leaps off a table and catches you in the shoulder with a flying lunge.
  1988. >It’s sharp claws bite deep into your shoulder as it spins you around and a jolt of electricity discharges from its body leaving you numb.
  1989. “Fuck, what a shocking development.”
  1990. >You mumble, falling to one knee, the eyes of the rogue sprite behind you flash red as a pair of massive blazing claws flare into existence.
  1991. >It leaps into the air: the burning claws spiraling towards you ready to rip open your exposed back.
  1992. >This looks like the end for you, when you look up to see a small purple dragon screaming as he sails through the air, having leapt from the top of the laboratory stairs.
  1993. >Spike shoots through the path of the Sprite’s attack like a scaly comet, the roaring flames washing harmlessly over the dragon’s body.
  1994. >”Don’t worry, big guy, I got your back!”
  1995. >The little dragon shoots you a thumbs up and you flash one back at him as you tighten your grip on the detangler and pull yourself back to your feet.
  1996. “Thanks, little man, you really pulled my bacon out of the fire.”
  1997. >You grit your teeth and shake off the numbness of the aberration’s electrical assault as you square off back to back with Spike against the two beasts.
  1998.  
  1999. >Status
  2000. >Spike joined the party!
  2001. Anon
  2002. HP: 12/22
  2003. Spike
  2004. HP: 37/37
  2005.  
  2006.  
  2007. Fire Scrapper: HP 14/25
  2008. Thunder Scrapper: HP 25/25
  2009.  
  2010. “Cover me, Spike, I need to patch myself up.”
  2011. >”You got it, big guy!”
  2012. >The little dragon clenches his fists as you reach into your pocket and pull out a bottle that you don’t quite remember picking up.
  2013. >Maybe Twilight gave them to you a few weeks back and you’ve just forgotten about it.
  2014. >Regardless of where you got it, the potion works wonders for you as you pull the cork from the little glass bottle and a wave of restorative energy washes over you, feeling your wounds seal up.
  2015. >Even the aches and pains coming from beneath your bandages fade away as the potion puts you back in fighting form.
  2016. “I think it’s about time we turned the tables, Spike!”
  2017. >You shout as you pull the detangler into a defensive position, ready to hold the corrupted familiars at bay while Spike goes on the offensive.
  2018. >”You keep your claws off my friends!”
  2019. >Spike roars as he charges the smoldering scrapper, its fiery claws having sizzled out after Spike intercepted its attack.
  2020. >The little dragon fearlessly ducks under the claws of the creature twice his size and throws a haymaker square in the monster’s gut.
  2021. >The Unversed screeches and doubles over as the little dragon shouts.
  2022. >”Anon, did you see that! I just decked one in the stomach!”
  2023. >The little dragon crows, thrilled with his own competence.
  2024. >Fortunately for you, you did see it as you dodged out of the way of a swipe from your own electrified foe, its slash going wide as a bolt of electricity jumped harmlessly to one of Twilight’s instruments littering the room.
  2025. “You know it, little man!”
  2026. >You grin at your little combat protégé and drop him a low five which the little dragon happily jumps up and hits.
  2027. >As you and Spike celebrate, the fire sprite stops stumbling around and lunges at Spike.
  2028. “Oh shit, watch out little guy!”
  2029. >You point at the charging Unversed as Spike wheels around and tries to jump out of the way.
  2030. >Unfortunately, the little dragon isn’t quite fast enough on his feet, and the monster manages to land a glancing blow against his scaly hide.
  2031. >”Aw man, and here we were doing so well.”
  2032. >Spike moans as he examines the small trio of grooves left in his scales.
  2033. >Fortunately for Spike, and even more fortunately for you, the Unversed failed to penetrate the little dragon’s scales.
  2034. “Sorry about that, little guy, I shouldn’t have distracted you like that.”
  2035. >You grimace as you see what your carelessness has wrought.
  2036. “We both need to keep our heads in the game; I don’t even want to think about what Twilight would do if I let something happen to you.”
  2037. >Twilight meanwhile is standing stock still, her eyes drawn down to pinpoints as she watches the scene unfold.
  2038.  
  2039. Anon
  2040. HP: 22/22
  2041. Spike
  2042. HP: 34/37
  2043.  
  2044. Fire Scrapper: HP 6/25
  2045. Thunder Scrapper: HP 25/25
  2046.  
  2047. “Okay, little man, let’s bring the heat!”
  2048. >You shout as you plant your feet and take a swing at the electrified sprite, aiming to send it on a one-way trip to the cheap seats.
  2049. >Unfortunately, the detangler goes whistling over the monster’s head as you completely fail to make contact with your foe.
  2050. >”Do you maybe want to put the gags on the back burner 'til we get out of this mess?”
  2051. >Spike grunts as he charges forward and trips on one of Twilight’s books strewn about the lab and goes tumbling towards the floor.
  2052. >But as the little dragon sails towards a faceplant, a burst of inspiration spurs him to action.
  2053. >”NO, EVERYONE’S COUNTING ON ME!”
  2054. >Spike roars as he catches himself with his stubby baby dragon arms and uses his momentum to flip up into a handspring, sending the little dragon sailing up into the air and leaving him hanging just above the eye level of his fiery foe.
  2055. >”It’s over!”
  2056. >Spike shouts as his fist crashes into the sprite’s pointy jaw as the baby drake falls back to earth.
  2057. >The force of the blow spins the monster’s head around with an unnatural snap as the beast collapses in a heap on the ground and ultimately vanishes as it is consumed from within by a black flame.
  2058. “Hell no, I’m not gonna stop! You’re on fire, little guy!”
  2059. >You turn to Spike as you wave a hand at the last sprite.
  2060. “Besides, we just have this last one to clean up and we’re all good.”
  2061. >You gesture dismissively at the last sprite, completely missing the way that it’s shuddering and shaking unnaturally.
  2062.  
  2063. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and this is all your fault.
  2064. >All you ever seem to do is screw things up, why would this be any different?
  2065. >And this time you’re going to get Spike and Anon killed.
  2066. >You wish they would just run away and leave you here with this thing you’ve created.
  2067. >At least that way you won’t hurt anyone else…
  2068. >Your mind goes quiet as that last thought rumbles through the black cloud of despair that settles over your soul.
  2069.  
  2070. >You are Anon, and you suddenly find yourself sprawled on the floor as the sprite you were fighting triples in size and sends you tumbling forward.
  2071. >It’s body has expanded into a massive tubby base with a pair of long arms ending in a pair of grasping mitten like hands.
  2072. >The silver piping framing the crest on the beast’s quivering stomach makes its entire lower half seem like a gaping maw waiting to swallow you, Spike, and Twilight whole.
  2073. >You stumble back to your feet as the beast's head squishes into a bulbous spherical shape and its sad eyes twist into a tortured expression of abject despair.
  2074. “You don’t scare me, you tubby piece of sh-“
  2075. >Your taunt is cut short as the beast extends its arms, bellowing as a jagged crystalline sword of ice appears in its right claw.
  2076. >At the same time a blazing shield of flame bursts into existence across the beast’s right side and a flowing cloak of crackling electricity shrouds the monster’s body like some kind of royal mantle.
  2077. “-shit.”
  2078. >You finish as Spike gulps nervously.
  2079. “We still got this, little guy. There are two of us and only one of him.”
  2080. >You say as much for yourself as for Spike as you get ready to strike.
  2081. >”Y-Yeah, we can take this chump!”
  2082. >Spike’s voice waivers for a moment before he clenches his fists and shouts defiantly at the giant corrupt sprite.
  2083. >Status
  2084.  
  2085. Anon
  2086. HP: 22/22
  2087. Spike
  2088. HP: 34/37
  2089.  
  2090. Fire Scrapper: HP 0/25 Rekt
  2091. Bruiser~ Full Cloth : HP 45/45
  2092.  
  2093. “Okay, Spike, get in position to rock this tubbo from behind while I distract him.”
  2094. >”You sure you want to do that, big guy? I mean you aren’t exactly the sturdiest guy I know.”
  2095. >Spike asks, his nervous tone betraying the determined look on his face as you wind up with the detangler.
  2096. “Trust me, little buddy, I got this.”
  2097. >You flash the little dragon a thumbs up and he nods in agreement as he scampers behind the massive creature.
  2098. “Okay, big man, lets dance!”
  2099. >You feel a devil-may-care grin spread across your face as your fingers drum the haft of your anti-magic rod.
  2100. >The massive creature bellows as it bounds forward, answering your challenge.
  2101. >It moves far faster than a beast that fat has any right to, almost as though its body were made of rubber, as it’s in your face in a flash its massive frozen sword glinting in the dim light of the lab.
  2102. >You try to parry the blow and shatter the blade as it comes at you, but the creature is too fast for you and the blade hits home, ripping at your chest as it shreds your shirt.
  2103. >The blade steams as a droplets of blood bounce off the super-chilled weapon, but you grit your teeth and play through the pain.
  2104. “Not bad, but it’s our turn now.”
  2105. >You spit your words through clenched teeth before you swing hard and wide with the detangler.
  2106. “One!”
  2107. >The anti-magic lighting rod swings true, sailing through the monsters shield banishing it back to the magical ether in an errant twist of flame.
  2108. “Two!”
  2109. >You shout as the weapon keeps going, crashing through the monsters electrical shroud forcing it to sputter and die as the detangler unravels the spell holding it together.
  2110. “Three!”
  2111. >You crow as the heavy steel rod crashes into the beast’s bulbous head.
  2112. >You try to keep on going to smash the ice sword that just sliced you up like a filet o’fish, but the beasts bulky frame puts an end to your streak.
  2113. “Well, three out of four ain’t bad.”
  2114. >You say with a smirk as you pull back your weapon, only to see a certain diminuative purple dragon pop up out behind the beast.
  2115. >”Make that four for four, big guy!”
  2116. >Spike shouts as he breathes deep and unleashes a torrent of flame that washes over the massive rogue sprite.
  2117. >It turns and tries to shelter itself from the blaze behind its sword, only for the weapon to melt uselessly before the tiny dragon’s fury.
  2118. “Holy shit, Spike! I never knew you were that badass!”
  2119. >You shout at the little dragon as you peek around the smoking monster.
  2120. >”Aw shucks, it wasn’t that cool.”
  2121. >The little dragon says, sporting an obvious forced modesty and a shit eating grin as he rubs the back of his head.
  2122. >”I only roasted it from across the room, any dragon could ha-“
  2123. >Unfortunately, his humble brag is cut short as the Unversed bellows furiously at the little dragon, slamming its big meaty claws together challenging the baby drake.
  2124.  
  2125. Status
  2126. Anon
  2127. HP: 12/22
  2128. Spike
  2129. HP: 34/37
  2130.  
  2131. Black Bruiser: HP 29/45
  2132.  
  2133. “Get ready, Spike, it’s coming your way!”
  2134. >You shout as the temperature in the room drops and Twilight’s horn flashes blue, the monster calling a new blizzard blade into existence before bounding towards the baby dragon.
  2135. >Spike raises his arms to block the blade hurtling towards him, but the beast has too much mass and momentum behind it for Spike to keep at bay as a sweeping blow catches the little dragon and sends him sailing back into an errant stack of books.
  2136. >”I’m okay… I think.”
  2137. >You hear the muffled voice of your little buddy proclaim as his frost-coated arm pops out of the pile of books bearing a thumbs up.
  2138. >Okay or not, you’re ready to deal this thing some much deserved retribution for your little buddy as you charge towards the beasts turned back.
  2139. >Using a chair as a stepping stone, you leap into the air and bring the detangler crashing down on the monster’s head like the right hand of God, sending it reeling from the blow.
  2140. “He’s all yours, Spike!”
  2141. >You shout as the baby drake capitalizes on your momentum and bursts out of the pile of stray books.
  2142. >The hunched over beast provides an easy target as Spike cocks his fist back and unleashes a devastating right hook, his arms still coated with a slowly melting layer of frost from the monster’s attack.
  2143. >The monster stumbles back drunkenly, still reeling after the pair of successive devastating blows to the head.
  2144. “You hangin’ in there, little man?”
  2145. >Concern leaking into your voice as you look down at the damaged scales being revealed between the melting frost on Spikes arms.
  2146. >”I’ll be fine big guy, we got him on the ropes. Besides, if I back out now who’s going to make this fatty pay for all the extra work I’m gonna have to do cleaning this place?”
  2147. “Fair enough, buddy.”
  2148. >You say with an involuntary grin as the two of you prepare for the next clash.
  2149.  
  2150. >STATUS
  2151. Anon
  2152. HP: 12/22
  2153. Spike
  2154. HP: 24/37
  2155.  
  2156.  
  2157. Black Bruiser: HP 12/45
  2158.  
  2159. >The Bruiser staggers to its feet, and snowflakes begin to swirl around it as it attempts to summon a full set of Blizzard regalia.
  2160. >But the gathering frost breaks as the beast tries and fails to shake off the lingering aftereffects of the devastating blow the two of you just dealt directly to its dome.
  2161. >The concussed beast bellows in frustration as it hurls its icy blade at Spike, sending its super-chilled weapon spinning through the air, leaving a trail of condensed vapor in its wake.
  2162. >Spike is more than ready for the monster’s sloppy attack, and the little dragon knocks the blade from the air with ease.
  2163. >The icy blade clatters to the ground at your feet, and the sound of ice plinking against the lab's stone floor sounds unmistakably like the sound of opportunity knocking.
  2164. “Spike, follow my lead!”
  2165. >You shout ripping off your tattered shirt and use it to wrap your hands before picking up the frozen blade.
  2166. “Let’s see if you can take it as well as you dish it out, big man!”
  2167. >You shout as you charge towards the lumbering beast, struggling to maintain control of the oversized icy blade.
  2168. >But maintain control you do as the concussed monstrosity fails to stager away from you and you crash into it at full speed.
  2169. >An unearthly shriek escapes the overgrown sprite as you drive the jagged slab of ice deep into the bruiser’s blubbery form.
  2170. "Hey, fatty, we call this move a lay-up; know what comes after a lay-up?"
  2171. >You groan through clenched teeth as you brace yourself over the massive frozen blade buried in the creature’s stomach and your ears are filled with the sound of purple scaled feet running towards you.
  2172. >”A...”
  2173. >You wince as the baby dragon uses your back as a springboard, sending him flying up towards the beast’s jaw.
  2174. >”SPIKE!”
  2175. >The little dragon roars as he connects with the most beautiful rising uppercut you’ve ever witnessed in your life.
  2176. “Sick… shoryuken... senpai…”
  2177. >You mumble as your grip fails you and you collapse to the ground.
  2178.  
  2179. Status
  2180. Anon
  2181. HP: 6/22
  2182. Spike
  2183. HP: 24/37
  2184.  
  2185. Black Bruiser
  2186. HP: -7/45
  2187.  
  2188. >As you collapse the beast is consumed from within by a roaring black flame and it’s jagged crystalline blade vanishes along with it.
  2189. >”Woah, are you okay, big guy? Let me go grab the first aid kit!”
  2190. >Now that the threat has passed alarm creeps back into Spike's voice, the fear only made worse by getting a good look at the slash across your chest for the first time.
  2191. >As Spike skitters over to a pile of debris and starts rooting through it for the first aid kit Twilight begins to stir.
  2192.  
  2193. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and the last few minutes all seem like a blur.
  2194. >You remember something going wrong with your sprite spell, but everything after that is like a bad poison joke trip.
  2195. >You have a vauge recollection of Anon and Spike fighting some kind of huge monster but that couldn’t possibly be…
  2196. >Why is Anon on the ground?
  2197. >Why is he bleeding?!
  2198. >Celestia’s mane, he and Spike did fight some kind of monster!
  2199. >You lost control of the spell and now he’s on the ground bleeding!
  2200. >This is all your fault!
  2201. ”Oh my gosh, Anon, I’m so sorry this is all my-“
  2202. >You gallop up to Anon, tears welling up in your eyes as you try to apologize, before a boop on the snoot cuts you off.
  2203.  
  2204. >You are Anon, and Twilight’s is standing over you crying.
  2205. >”Oh my gosh, Anon, I’m so sorry this is all my-“
  2206. >Not while I’m protecting smiles, you don’t.
  2207. >You think to yourself as you boop the silly book horse, cutting off her tearful apology.
  2208. “Hey, this is not your fault. Don’t ever think that.”
  2209. >You say as you wrap an arm around her neck and pull Twilight in for a side hug.
  2210. “Accidents happen. Besides, it was my choice to fight, so this is all on me.”
  2211. >You say as you gesture at your chest with your free hand.
  2212. “Plus, it’s not even that big a deal; Spike will be here soon to patch me up good as new!”
  2213. >You grin enthusiastically as you thump yourself on the chest, only to wince from the sudden impact.
  2214. “I could have thought that through better, but my point stands: this isn’t your fault!”
  2215. >You huff stubbornly as the little librarian fights back a giggle and a smile peaks through her tear-stained cheeks.
  2216. >Smile… protected.
  2217. >Is the last thought you remember thinking before blacking out.
  2218.  
  2219. >You wake up sitting propped up against a shelf as Twilight bandages your various cuts and scrapes and Spike passes her fresh gauze from the first aid kit.
  2220. >Man, if I passed out and ruined all that smile saving I just did I’m going to be super pissed.
  2221. >You think to yourself as you look down at the gash in your chest, only to find it completely healed up.
  2222. “Oh hey, my gaping chest wound is gone. Far out.”
  2223. >You mutter as you trace the smooth skin where the wound used to be.
  2224. >”That’s the third time you’ve said that, Anon, are you sure you’re okay?”
  2225. >Concern obvious in Twilight’s voice as she drops the bandage she’s levitating and shines a light in your eyes checking for pupil response.
  2226. “Uh… yeah, still a little loopy I guess. It’s nothing to worry about.”
  2227. >You say dismissively as you shield your eyes from the light.
  2228. >Better not to let on that you have no idea what’s transpired over the last few minutes: after all, you’ve had worse blackouts drinking. No need to worry Twilight and Spike over nothing.
  2229. “So, the experiment is taken care of. What’s next on the agenda?”
  2230. >You stand up and dust yourself off as you look around the trashed lab and discover the tattered ruins of your shirt.
  2231. >You realize that a fresh mask might be a priority as well when you reach down to pick yours up, only to find it riddled with holes and scorch marks after the day’s excitement.
  2232. “Man, Rarity really isn’t going to be happy when I show her these.”
  2233. >You say with a sigh as you gather up the haggard remains of your clothing.
  2234. >”Actually, Anon, I think I can help you with that.”
  2235. >Twilight’s magical aura envelops your ruined clothing, and in a matter of moments, the destroyed garments are as good as new, freshly pressed, and smell ever so faintly of lavender.
  2236. >”Mending was actually one of the first spells I learned on my own; I’ve always been a little accident prone when it comes to magic and it seemed prudent to learn how to pick up after my mistakes.”
  2237. >Twilight blushes as a she paws at the floor trying nervously to hide her sheepish half-smile.
  2238. “Well, you know what they say: experience is just the name we give our mistakes.”
  2239. >You smile back at the little purple librarian as you tousle her mane.
  2240. “I’m still going to need to swing by Rarity’s though, I need to go pick up my tux for the gala tomorrow.”
  2241. >You say as you pull on your newly restored shirt that’s still warm to the touch, as though you had just pulled It fresh out of the dryer.
  2242. “Do you guys want me to help clean up around here before I hit the road?”
  2243. >”Aw sweet, big guy, that would be a huge hel-“
  2244. >”Thanks, but we’ve got it under control.”
  2245. >Twilight says with a nervous grin as she clamps a hoof over the baby dragon’s mouth, cutting him off.
  2246. >“But if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind coming back once you’re done over at Rarity’s?”
  2247. >”Pinkie and I have been having a little disagreement over who’s the better cook and we’d really appreciate it if you’d be the judge.”
  2248. >Spike finally manages to pull Twilight’s hoof out of his mouth and chimes in.
  2249. >”Besides, free food’s the least we can do for you after today’s mess. Hey, watch the bruises!”
  2250. >He shouts surprised as Twilight pops the little dragon in the arm, a nervous grin still plastered across her face.
  2251. >”Shut up, Spike!”
  2252. >You barely manage to catch her whispering through gritted teeth.
  2253. “Well, I’ve never been one to turn down a free meal, soooooo why not?”
  2254. >You make a big show of contemplating your decision before finally agreeing.
  2255. >As you agree Twilight’s nervous grin is replaced by a real one.
  2256. >“Excellent. Spike if you’d get started down here, I’ll show Anon up to the door.”
  2257. >Twilight leads you up the stairs back up to the library proper as the little dragon mutters away behind you.
  2258. >”Stupid fat monster, knew I was gonna have to clean this all up myself, should have punched it harder…”
  2259. >Until eventually Spike’s grousing fades from ear shot and you re-enter the library proper, where you discover Ace snoozing away curled up in a chair.
  2260. “Some comrade-in-arms you turned out to be.”
  2261. >You say with a sarcastic smile as you scoop up the sleeping pup and make your way to the door.
  2262. >"Anon, I'm... I'm so sorry about today. If I hadn't been trying to show off, none of this would have happened."
  2263. >Twilight says dejectedly as you reach for the door forcing you to stop and turn around.
  2264. “Don’t beat yourself up about what happened today, it's not like you knew the spell was going to go haywire. That's what experiments and practical tests are all about: working out bugs."
  2265. >You say as you wrap Twilight in one last one-armed hug before you go.
  2266. "Besides, we’ll figure out what went wrong with the spell and get it working right in no time.”
  2267. >You say as you turn around again and stoop down to open the door.
  2268. >As you do the smallest expression of panic flickers across Twilight’s features.
  2269. >”Y-yeah, I’m sure we will. See you later tonight!”
  2270. >Twilight says as she waves you out the door.
  2271. “Well, buddy, let's go see a mare about a suit.”
  2272. >You say to the sleepy puppy as the two of you head out into Ponyville.
  2273.  
  2274. >You are Twilight Sparkle, and as much as you hate rushing Anon out the door, you really didn’t want him following that line of questioning.
  2275. >You’ve been over and over the incident since you regained consciousness, and while you can’t remember most of what went on while the spell was out of control, the last thing you do remember is feeling intensely jealous of Pinkie Pie.
  2276. >And that’s the last thing you want Anon to know.
  2277. “Spike! I need you upstairs!”
  2278. >”But what about the lab?”
  2279. >The confusion obvious on the little dragon’s face as he trudges up the steps.
  2280. “Your previous task takes priority.”
  2281. >Twilight says as she marches into the kitchen where half-crushed garlic, freshly washed lettuce, tomatoes and onions are strewn about.
  2282. “After that mess in the lab, we’re running short on time.”
  2283. >The librarian pulls a frying pan out from under the stove as she throws open the refrigerator with her magic.
  2284. >Twilight pulls on what looks like a medical mask as she looms over a package sitting ominously on its own empty shelf in the fridge.
  2285. “We need to make the best burger Anon has ever tasted.”
  2286.  
  2287. >You are Pinkie Pie, and it's taken all day, but you think you’ve totally got this one in the bag.
  2288. “I know the ultimate cake was a false start, Gummy, but I think this will be even better!”
  2289. >You beam as the little gator stares at you while you roll and pack your creation.
  2290. “Besides, the scaffolding alone would have taken weeks to prepare, there’s no way we would have had it done in time.”
  2291. >You say as your knife delicately glides through your ingredients.
  2292. “The real genius move was realizing Anon has been trying to eat right and talking to Bulk about what would be the best meal to help him out.”
  2293. >You say as you continue to assemble your special treat.
  2294. “For an omnivore like Anon, you want protein for maximum gains, and the best way to do that is fish, YEAH!”
  2295. >You flex as you imitate Bulk Biceps for your alligator sous chef, complete with comically deep voice.
  2296. “All I need to do then was learn the best way to prepare it.”
  2297. >You say as you set a bright red slice of salmon on top of a tightly packed brick of rice.
  2298. “You know, we’re really going to need to thank Hanzo-san down at the in Little Japone for showing us how to prepare this the traditional Neighponese way.”
  2299. >You say with a satisfied smile as you look down at the tray of colorful rolls complete with a collection of candy rolls for desert.
  2300. “Yeah, I think Sushi is going to be a real winner.”
  2301.  
  2302. >You are Anon, and you’ve just snapped back to reality, finding yourself standing at the door to the Carousel Boutique as the sun dips lower and lower towards the horizon.
  2303. “Gotta love the way your mind wanders during a long walk like that, eh, buddy?”
  2304. >You muse idly, scratching the snoozing dane between his ears as you knock on the boutique’s ostentatious door.
  2305. >”I’m dreadfully sorry, dear, but we’ve closed early to prepare for the gala.”
  2306. >You can hear Rarity’s voice getting louder as she makes her way across the foyer to turn away whatever last second customer is knocking at her door.
  2307. “In fact, I’m departing to deliver a client’s gala ensemble as we speak, so I’m afraid you’ll just have to wai- Anonymous, why speak of the devil.”
  2308. >Rarity appears at the door and her apologetic frown turns into a warm smile as she realizes who it is that’s knocking on her door.
  2309. >”Just the man I was going to- what’s this, dear?
  2310. >Rarity stops mid-sentence when she notices the furry black bundle nestled in your arms.
  2311. >”Oh my, Fluttershy convinced you to get a pet, didn’t she?”
  2312. >You notice the slightest cracks forming in Rarity’s normally calm, polite demeanor as she attempts to decide how to proceed.
  2313. “Sort of, how I ended up with Ace is actually a bit of a long story.”
  2314. >You reply hesitantly as the drowsy puppy perks up at the sound of his name before falling asleep again.
  2315. >”You do recall I have a cat, don’t you, darling?”
  2316. “He’s a good boy, he won’t cause any trouble, will you, buddy?”
  2317. >Rarity still doesn’t look quite sure when she finally replies.
  2318. >”It’s not him I’m worried about, but I’m sure he’ll be fine if he’s going to snooze like this the whole time.”
  2319. >With the issue resolved, Rarity begins to beam once more.
  2320. >"Now, I’ve kept you standing around in the street for far too long, please come inside, darling.”
  2321. >The designer ushers you inside with a floating garment bag suspended in her pale blue aura.
  2322. >”Now then, are you ready for the unveiling of your wardrobe’s new pièce de résistance?”
  2323. >Rarity asks after she’s bustled you into a seat on the sofa, levitated a kettle of tea in from the kitchen, and set up a small array of spotlights focused on the garment bag revolving gently in midair in the center of the room.
  2324. “You know, you really don’t need to do this with every new item you make for me, right?”
  2325. >You grin as you sip your tea waiting for Rarity to get on with the show.
  2326. >”But what would be the fun in that, darling?”
  2327. >Rarity winks as her horn flares to life and she casts the garment bag aside, revealing a jet black tuxedo that practically shimmers in the brilliant light of spotlights the designer had scattered around the room.
  2328. >”A timeless classic tailored to your exact specifications, warm enough for the spring but cool enough for dancing with that special somepony.”
  2329. >Rarity extols the virtues of your new suit as she twists and turns it at every angle for you to admire her handiwork.
  2330. >”Yes, darling, I do believe this is my finest work yet!”
  2331. >Rarity says with a self-satisfied grin as she returns your new suit to its garment bag to the sound of your applause.
  2332. “Well, you’ve certainly come a long way since the first suit you made for me.”
  2333. >You agree as you think back to the bedazzled monstrosity that looked like it had escaped from a bad Elvis tribute show.
  2334. >”I still think the gemstones would have accentuated your eyes, at least they would have if you didn’t insist on wearing that mask all the time and put more care into your grooming.”
  2335. “Hey, I’m trying on that front at least.”
  2336. >You protest sullenly as you pull out the bundle from Dapper Dan’s shop.
  2337. >As you do a glint of green catches your eye and you reach in to discover the Wolf’s Tear from earlier this morning.
  2338. >Somehow it feels like it’s been days since you picked this up.
  2339. “Actually, Rarity, that reminds me of something. You’re a gem expert, do you think you can tell me anything about this?”
  2340. >You ask as you pull out the cool green gemstone and pass it over to the marshmallow unicorn.
  2341. >”Well, at first glance, I can tell you that this gem has an exquisite latticework.”
  2342. “Latticework?”
  2343. >”Yes, dear, the latticework of a gem’s crystalline structure makes it an ideal medium for storing magical energy or, in truly exquisite cases, entire spells.”
  2344. “So I could store some kind of spell in that gem?”
  2345. >You ask curiously as Rarity examines it more closely.
  2346. >”Well, you could, but it seems like it already has some kind of spell on it.”
  2347. >She explains as she looks through the gem.
  2348. >”It seems like this particular gem has some kind of vision enhancement spell imbued in it. I can see all the way to the far end of the shopping district.”
  2349. >She says as she gazes out the window.
  2350. >”Best you hang on to it, darling. I’m sure someone more experienced with such things could do something interesting with it. Perhaps Twilight?”
  2351. >Rarity suggests as she returns the gem to you and you return it to its safe spot in your bag.
  2352. “Well, I’m heading back over to Twilight’s anyway, maybe I can have her take a look after this cook-off.”
  2353. >This time it’s Rarity’s turn to look confused as she asks.
  2354. “>Cook-off? Whatever do you mean, dear?”
  2355. “Oh, apparently Pinkie and Twilight are trying to settle some kind of disagreement with a cook-off and Twilight asked me to be the judge.”
  2356.  
  2357. >You are Rarity, and you don’t like the sound of this one bit.
  2358. >Twilight’s a well-meaning girl, but you know full well how she can get when she’s obsessed with something.
  2359. >The last thing Anon, Pinkie or even Twilight need is some half-baked scheme complicating things between them.
  2360. >You’ve always believed in hands-off approach to snarls in your friend’s romantic lives without expressed invitation, but perhaps you should intervene and tell Anon precisely where he stands.
  2361. >”Speaking of which, I really ought to get headed back that way. I’m sure they’ll be getting started soon.”
  2362. “Anonymous, darling, before you go, there’s really something I should tell you.”
  2363. >As you levitate the suit to him, an errant piece of paper being blown about on the Ponyville winds smacks you in the face.
  2364. >You pull it free and discover it reads as follows,
  2365. >”I’m really way too busy to do this in person today, but don’t forget. The fastest way to lose a friend forever is to break their trust.”
  2366. >Surely these are extenuating circumstances, though, you think to yourself as a second note hits you.
  2367. >”P.S. FORRREVVVVERRRRR. P.P.S love you Rares see you at the Gala tomorrow”
  2368. >The second note reads, followed by a crude drawing of Pinkie.
  2369. >You sigh at the exasperating antics of you hyperactive friend before ultimately surrendering.
  2370. “Be sure to dry-clean the suit dear, it isn’t exactly machine washable.”
  2371. >”I’ll be sure to take good care of it, thanks again, Rarity.”
  2372. >Anon says with a smile as he accepts the suit and heads back towards the center of town, with his gangly black puppy in tow.
  2373. >You suppose the three of them will just need to navigate this on their own.
  2374. >You think to yourself before heading back into the boutique to pop open a tub of ice cream and take your mind off the whole thing.
  2375.  
  2376. >The sun sinks below the horizon and the streetlamps flicker to life as you make your way down the quiet streets of Ponyville; and by the time you knock on the door of Twilight’s library, the last streaks of red are fading from the sky.
  2377. >You only manage to knock once before the door flies open revealing a Pinkie Pie sporting what looks like an uncomfortably wide grin as she stands in the door-frame.
  2378. >”Hey there, Anon, sorry to leave you waiting out in the dark like that.”
  2379. “What are you talking about, Ponks? I literally just knocked on the door.”
  2380. >You say as you stoop under the door-frame and deposit Ace in his prior snoozing chair as Twilight shuts the door behind you.
  2381. >“R-really? I could have sworn-awwwwww, you got a dog? He’s such a cutie, what’shisnameisthisagreatdane?ScoobydoowasagreatdaneyouknowsowasMarmadukehispawsaresobighe’sgonnabeagiant.”
  2382. >Pinkie notices Ace halfway through claiming she totally wasn’t waiting by the door for you, and dashes over to start manhandling the drowsy puppy.
  2383. “Yeah that’s Ace, Fluttershy kinda convinced me that a dog would be good for me.”
  2384. >You smile as you crouch down next to the chair and scratch Ace between the ears and Pinkie continues to poke and prod at him.
  2385. >As Pinkie plays with Ace you recount the events leading up to the adoption of your new companion.
  2386. >The two of you are so absorbed in the story that you fail to notice as Twilight trots out of the dining room.
  2387. >”Omigosh, a timberwolf attacked Fluttershy?”
  2388. “Well it was about to, but at the last second this pug jumped off the cottage and nailed the wolf with some kind of crazy evil eye and stopped it in its tra-“
  2389. >”A-hem.”
  2390. >A cough from Twilight interrupts you as she looms over Pinkie.
  2391. >”Pinkie, you really ought to stop distracting Anon. You wouldn’t want the food to get cold.”
  2392. >Twilight says with a smile on her face, but her eyelid twitches almost imperceptibly as Pinke shrinks back and tries to apologize.
  2393. >”Sorry, Twilight, I got sidetracked by Anon’s new-“
  2394. “No, it’s my fault: I’m the one that launched into a story that could have waited for dinner.”
  2395. >Pinkie Pie smiles as you come to her defense, while Twilight sighs and turns to lead the two of you into the dining room.
  2396. >”Regardless of who did the holding up the point still stands, Pinkie and I worked hard on these dishes, and I want to present them at their best.”
  2397. >Twilight says with a huff as the three of you arrive in the kitchen where you discover a pair of serving trays covered with silver lids.
  2398. >Steam seems to be curling out from under the corners of one of the lids and a faint nostalgic smell tickles your nostrils.
  2399. >It almost smells like… But there’s no way it could possibly be...
  2400. >”If you’re ready to get started, I think you’re going to be really surprised by what I prepared for you.”
  2401. >Twilight says with a smug smile as she snaps you out of your reverie.
  2402. >And as eager as you are to see your suspicions confirmed, you do still need to handle basic hygene.
  2403. “Okay, before we get going, you mind if I go wash my hands? I have been dragging a dog all over town today, after all.”
  2404. >You say as you clap your hands together and excuse yourself from the room.
  2405. >As you make your way down the hall, you bump into Spike as he steps out of the bathroom.
  2406. “Sorry, little man, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
  2407. >You apologize to the little dragon as you help him up, but as you do so you notice flecks of red and yellow sauce on his scales.
  2408. >It couldn’t possibly…
  2409. “So, helped yourself to some of what Twilight cooked, huh?”
  2410. >You say as you point to the flecks of sauce and Spike wipes his forehead discovering the ketchup and mustard left there.
  2411. >”Oh, what? No! I have no idea what Twilight made, I just helped Twilight bring it into the dining room, I didn’t help cook any of it at all!”
  2412. >Spike’s eyes dart back as he vehemently denies an accusation you didn’t even make.
  2413. “I’ve seen more convincing lies out of Applejack, buddy.”
  2414. >You chuckle as the dragon begins visibly sweating as he realizes the jig is up and braces himself for the third degree over Twilight’s meal.
  2415. “Look, don’t worry about it if it was supposed to be a surprise or something, I already have my suspicions but I won’t press you.”
  2416. >You say as you give the little dragon a conspiratorial wink.
  2417. >Spike visibly relaxes as he breathes a sigh of relief.
  2418. “But what was all that about helping Twilight cook? I thought this was supposed to be some kind of one-on-one showdown?”
  2419. >”Oh, no way, big guy. Twilight said all professional Chefs have Sous Chefs, why should this competition be any different?”
  2420. >Spike puffs up with pride as he shares his vital role in Twilight’s kitchen staff with you.
  2421. “Huh, that’s a little weird for a cook-off, but okay.”
  2422. >As unusual as it may be, Spike certainly doesn’t seem to be lying to you anymore so you might as well roll with it for now.
  2423. “So, what’s so important that Twilight would recruit a Sous Chef for this competition?”
  2424. >You ask as you continue to try and wrap your head around this turn of events.
  2425. >”No idea, big guy, every time I asked Twilight about it, she got all sweaty and nervous. Then she’d just get really intense and tell me not to worry about it; all I needed to know is that it was impre-imperah-emperi-”
  2426. “Imperative.”
  2427. >”Thanks, big guy, that it was imperative that she make the best burger you’ve ever tasted and beat Pinkie Pie tonight.”
  2428. “And you have no clue as to why?”
  2429. >”Nah, you know how Twilight gets sometimes. It’s probably just some molehill she’s fixated on and decided to make into a mountain.”
  2430. >Spike waves his arms dismissively and walks off down the hall.
  2431. >”I’ll see you when you catch up for dinner, bro.”
  2432. >He calls back as he disappears around a corner, leaving you alone to mull over the increasingly strange circumstances surrounding this dinner as you wash your hands.
  2433.  
  2434. >A few sudsy moments later, you find yourself back in the dining room where Pinkie and Twilight are waiting for you.
  2435. >”Well, now that our taste tester has arrived, we can finally get started.”
  2436. >Twilight says, levitating a collection of silverware into position as you take your seat.
  2437. “So what brought all this on anyway? Neither of you has actually told me yet.”
  2438. >You ask, looking at the two ponies expectantly as you help yourself to a knife and fork.
  2439. >”Well, um, uh, you see,”
  2440. >”It’s actually to see who hosts the annual Hearth's Warming party; the others weren’t interested, and we decided that the host should be the one capable of cooking the best food.”
  2441. >Pinkie stammers incoherently for a few seconds before Twilight interjects and fields the question for her.
  2442. >You don’t find anything objectionable about the answer, but that seemed oddly concise for someone who couldn’t stand to tell Spike about it.
  2443. “Okay, so which one of these bad boys do you want me to try first?”
  2444. >You ask as Pinkie, Twilight, and Spike join you at the table: Pinkie sitting behind her dish, Twilight and Spike behind theirs.
  2445. >Pinkie and Twilight lock eyes, and for a moment it seems as though electricity is flying between them as they shoot each other a determined glare.
  2446. >The two of them slam a hoof on the table as they speak in perfect unison
  2447. >”Pinkie-”
  2448. >”Twlight-”
  2449. >>”-should go first!”
  2450. >”Maybe you guys should just let Anon pick?”
  2451. >Spike interjects, cutting off several minutes of “No I insist, after you”s before they begin.
  2452. >The two ponies look at you expectantly as you stare at the two silver serving trays.
  2453. >You look back and forth between the two ponies, and Pinkie Pie seems barely able to contain her excitement each time you look her way.
  2454. >Ultimately, her energy proves infectious and you reach for Pinkie’s tray.
  2455. >”Ohhhh shoot, I wanted to go secohwhoamikidding!”
  2456. >Pinkie tries to feign disappointment at your decision and gives up on it halfway through as she bounds up out of her chair and over to your side of the table.
  2457. >You glance to your left, and barely manage to notice the slightest smug smile on Twilight’s face as Pinkie bustles around, setting up for her dish.
  2458. >”Okay, so this dish might be the teeeensyest bit tricky, but trust me, it’s going to be totally worth it.”
  2459. >Pinkie says as she passes you a hot towel and unveils her dish.
  2460. >What you discover under the silver tray is a veritable rainbow of fresh sushi.
  2461. “Wow, this is the last thing I was expecting, I thought for sure this was going to be a pastry or a cake or something.”
  2462. >”Hey, I’ve got hidden depths too, ya know? I’m not just cakes and parties all day, every day.”
  2463. >Pinkie blushes as she feigns offence and sets out trays of soy sauce, wasabi, and small slices of ginger.
  2464. >”Okay, so these are Nigiri, we have fatty tuna, salmon, yellow tail, tuna, and shrimp.”
  2465. >Pinkie waves a hoof over an array of sushi on the left side of the tray.
  2466. >”And over here we have the Maki selection and Sashimi, along with a selection of candy sushi’s for desert.”
  2467. >Pinkie says as she pokes one of the desert rolls.
  2468. >”See, they’re made with rice krispies.”
  2469. >She says with a grin as the snack snap, crackles, and pops at her touch.
  2470. >What you fail to notice, as Pinkie unveils all this, is Twilight’s eyelid twitching when she discovers Pinkie has also prepared a meat dish.
  2471. >”One last piece of advice before you dig in, the ginger is there to cleanse your pallet between bites, especially pieces of different types. Only the fish should touch the soy sauce, and you shouldn’t use it if the sushi already has seasoning on it.”
  2472. “Okay, I think I got it.”
  2473. >You say as you pick up a fatty tuna nigiri and pop it into your mouth.
  2474. >Knowing Pinkie and her penchant for loud food, you expected to be hit with an explosion of flavor as you took the first bite.
  2475. >Instead, what you discover is a deceptively mild flavor.
  2476. >At first, you think it isn’t really anything special, but as you continue you begin to notice the texture of all the individual parts working together harmoniously.
  2477. >No one flavor strikes you as particularly strong, but the effect that the balance of these flavors and textures achieve is an entirely new experience for you.
  2478. >You swallow your first bite and you cleanse your pallet with a bit of ginger before moving onto the next piece.
  2479. >Pinkie begins to speak as you make your way through the sushi, the slight lingering after taste of each piece adding to the symphony of flavors and textures of the next.
  2480. >”I wanted to make something that would fit with the fitness stuff you and Bulk have been working on, so I went to ask him about it.”
  2481. >You nod as Pinkie rambles away and you take a bite of the shrimp nigiri. As you do, the crunch of the shrimp gives way to the rich flavor of the meat within
  2482. >“He was all, 'FISH GIVE THE BEST GAINZ, YEAH!' but I thought just frying one up would be super boring, not to mention counterproductive to the whole health thing, and then I remembered sushi and I was all, 'That’s toootaly perfect!'."
  2483. >You watch Pinkie flex as she pantomimes her way through her story and pop one of the unagi rolls into your mouth.
  2484. >”It's healthy, AND each bite is a total surprise!”
  2485. >Pinkie shouts excitedly as she picks up a roll.
  2486. >”I’M not even sure what this one is, and I made it!”
  2487. >”She says as she giggles and pops the roll into her mouth.
  2488. >”Sweet, vegie roll! Luuuckyyyyy!”
  2489. >She mumbles around the roll as she crunches it up.
  2490. “Thanks, Pinkie. It was really thoughtful of you to take the whole fitness thing into account when you made this.”
  2491. >You say between bites as you approach the end of the platter.
  2492. ”Though I wonder how much demand this will have at Hearth’s Warming outside of me and Spike.”
  2493. >You add as you lift up a slice of sashimi.
  2494. >”There are other carnivores on Equis besides you and Spike. What if Gilda comes back? And I’ve known plenty of pegasi that eat fish from time to time.”
  2495. >Pinkie says in a huff.
  2496. “By plenty, do you mean Bulk and Rainbow Dash?"
  2497. >Pinkie grins sheepishly and rubs a hoof behind her head.
  2498. >”Ummm, mayyyyyyybe. But even if it’s just you and Spike, I can always make more veggie rolls for the girls.”
  2499. >Pinkie says with a grin as you finish the sushi tray.
  2500. >”Sooooo, whacha think?”
  2501. >Pinkie asks grinning ear to ear as Twilight fumes silently at her end of the table.
  2502. >You pass out some of the candy rolls to Twilight and Spike as you launch into your analysis.
  2503. “Well, I-“
  2504. >”Ahem. Actually, Anon, if you don’t mind, could you save the analysis until after you’ve tried my dish as well?”
  2505. >Twilight asks as she floats her tray your way.
  2506. >Whatever frustration she might have been showing earlier while your back was turned is gone now and a calm sense of self-assuredness is left in its place.
  2507. >As though Twilight has some supreme confidence in whatever is waiting for you under that tray.
  2508. >”No explanation necessary, I think my dish will speak for itself.”
  2509. >Twilight boasts as she pulls away the cover, revealing exactly what you suspected it to be.
  2510. >Something you never expected to see again.
  2511. >A honest-to-goodness cheeseburger.
  2512. >And not just any cheeseburger.
  2513. >One consisting of a pair of glistening flame-grilled patties, topped with what looks like lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, Equestrian cheese, and bacon. All drizzled with mayo, ketchup, and mustard and contained within a fluffy sesame seed bun.
  2514. >There was a time when you first arrived in Equestria that a day didn’t go by that you didn’t pine for a burger like this one.
  2515. >A Whopper. It almost looks like the impossibly perfect burgers that sit shining on the menu like an unreachable star.
  2516. “How did you even do this?”
  2517. >You ask as you stare at the burger.
  2518. >”A special order to the griffon meat market in Canterlot, I had to go on a wait list, but it was worth it.”
  2519. >Twilight says with a smug smile as she watches you oogle the burger with your jaw agape.
  2520. >Pinkie, meanwhile, bears a similar expression to yours, except where your eyes are practically glazed over, her pupils have shrunken to panicked pinpoints at the sight of Twilight’s entry.
  2521. >”But, uh, how exactly is that going to work as a Hearth's Warming dish?”
  2522. >Pinkie asks nervously, hoping to catch Twilight contradicting her own cover story.
  2523. >Unfortunately, Twilight is more than ready for her.
  2524. >”Well, it’s certainly not a general dish, but I prefer to prepare something special for each of my guests. It just so happens this is what I was planning for Anon.”
  2525. >Pinkie shrinks back into her chair, not sure what to do next as you take a bite of the burger.
  2526. >At first, it’s everything like you imagined it would be, but as you chew the mirage of the Whopper falls away.
  2527. >Twilight might have gotten the ingredients, but she completely missed out on the seasoning of the meat itself. The burger itself is still good, but it’s no more than a pale imitation of your memory of the Whopper.
  2528. >At first, the juicy flavor reminds you of home: a warm nostalgic flavor of summers gone by and quick midnight burger runs during an all-night cram sessions.
  2529. >But as the burger settles in your stomach, a heavy, greasy feeling takes hold as the burger sits in your stomach like a brick.
  2530. >As your stomach churns and the uneasy feeling grows, you remember all the problems this kind of food brought with it. And how much better off you are now that you were forced to take the plunge and give it up.
  2531. >It’s been months since you even thought about one of these things much less craved one.
  2532. >And you can’t help but think that maybe that’s for the best.
  2533. >As you finish the burger, Twilight is looking at you expectantly with that self-assured smile she’s been wearing since she unveiled the burger.
  2534. >All while Pinkie is avoiding your gaze, as though she’s afraid of what you might say.
  2535.  
  2536. >Is there anything you'd like to ask the chefs,or any comments you'd like to make before you make your judgement?
  2537.  
  2538. >You look back and forth, trying to decide how you want to judge these meals.
  2539. >After all, they’re trying to decide which cook is better able to prepare a Hearth’s Warming dinner.
  2540. >Your personal tastes shouldn’t be the deciding factor in that, should it?
  2541. “Well, I think I’ve reached my verdict.”
  2542. >You look up, addressing the two chefs as you point to the remains of Pinkie’s dish.
  2543. “Pinkie, I hate to have to say, this but I think this contest is going to have to go to Twilight.”
  2544. >Pinkie sinks even lower in her chair as you begin to critique her dish, all while Twilight’s smug smile breaks into an overjoyed grin as she holds out her hoof for Spike to dap.
  2545. “Although I feel like yours was honestly the tastier overall dish, Pinkie, and that delicate interplay of flavors is something I don't recall experiencing, even in the sushi restaurants back home, I definitely have to say Twilight should host the party.”
  2546. >You say as you gesture towards Twilight and share your thoughts on her meal.
  2547. “After all, though this Whopper falls a little short of the sandwich I remember, the ability to import special ingredients and tailor individual dishes to her guests means she'd be able to shoulder the burden of a fancy party like Hearth's Warming infinitely easier.”
  2548. >Both ponies go still as what you’ve just said registers, and Pinkie is the first to get over the shock.
  2549. >She suddenly seems reinvigorated, shooting back up in her chair, the air of crushing disappointment evaporating like fog in the face of the rising sun.
  2550. >”Aw, don’t worry about it, Nonny, I can always host the party next year. I’m just glad you enjoyed it.”
  2551. >Pinkie Pie says with the slightest blush as she beams away.
  2552. >Twilight, meanwhile, is locked sitting stock-still in her seat, her eyes fixated on a point a million miles away as Spike looks up at her confused.
  2553. >”Uhhh hello, we won, Twilight, what’s the matter?”
  2554. >Spike says as he waves a hand in front of the stunned unicorn’s face.
  2555. “Uh Twilight, if you’re upset about how I said your Whopper didn’t measure up to the ones back home don’t feel bad, it was still a really good burger. I don’t think I’ve ever had one where all the ingredients were quite so fresh.”
  2556. >You say trying to reassure the little librarian, slightly concerned she’s gone into some kind of perfectionist meltdown.
  2557. “It’s really just a matter of inexperience cooking meat really, you can’t be expected to nail things like seasoning the first time.”
  2558. >When that fails to elicit a response from the despondent pony you turn to Spike.
  2559. “You know, little guy, that’s kind of on you. As the sous chef you’re supposed to be in charge of that sort of prep work. If you want, I’ll show you how we did it back on Warth sometime.”
  2560. >You say as you wink at the little dragon.
  2561. >A look of realization flickers across Spike’s face as he picks up what you’re laying down.
  2562. >”O-Oh yeah, Twilight, don’t feel bad, that screw up is totally on me. I’m sure we’ll nail it in time for Hearth’s Warming.”
  2563. >Pinkie meanwhile leans back in her chair, a look of shock on her face that goes unnoticed by the three of you as she wildly waves her hooves back and forth between Spike and Twilight’s dish.
  2564. >As Spike finishes accepting the blame for the subpar Whopper, Twilight shakes her head and her eyes refocus back on the two of you.
  2565. >”S-sorry about that, It’s been a long day, and it’s only just hit me how tired I am.”
  2566. >Twilight’s voice wavering slightly as she apologizes.
  2567. >”T-thank you for agreeing to judge this for us, Anon, and I hate to have to kick you out, but I’m exhausted and we all need to get some rest before the gala tomorrow.”
  2568. >Twilight’s voice continues to waver as she levitates the dishes back into the kitchen.
  2569. “You sure you okay, Twilight?”
  2570. >You ask as you head back to the foyer to collect Ace.
  2571. >”Y-yeah, everything is just kind of catching up with me at once, see you tomorrow.”
  2572. “Well, okay then. See you three tomorrow.”
  2573. >You say as you bid the three chefs good evening and head back out into the streets of Ponyville.
  2574.  
  2575. “And this, is your new home.”
  2576. >You say with a yawn as you throw open the door of Bulk’s crib and shuffle up towards your bed exhausted.
  2577. >Bulk is sitting at the kitchen table, doing his nightly carbo-loading with his favorite bowl of Oaty-Os.
  2578. >”Good day today, bro?”
  2579. >He calls as you pass the kitchen.
  2580. “Not bad: fought a few monsters, got a new dog, and ate the first cheeseburger I’ve had in months.”
  2581. >You call back as you lean against the kitchen door frame.
  2582. >”Righteous, bro, there’s sick gains in monster hunting, probably worked off all those extra burger calories and then some.”
  2583. >”Yeah, probably. It’s cool that I got a dog, right?”
  2584. >You ask as Bulk continues to chow down.
  2585. >The shredded pegasus looks up from his cereal and looks back at Ace.
  2586. >”Yeah, it’s fine, he seems like a pretty stand up little hombre.”
  2587. >The weightlifter says, returning to his cereal after a cursory glance at the Great Dane puppy.
  2588. “Sweet, catch you tomorrow morning, senpai.”
  2589. >You yawn again as you head back up the stairs to your room.
  2590. >”You know it brother, up with the sun!”
  2591. >You hear Bulk’s muffled shouting echoing up the stairwell as you shut your door and hang the garment bag containing your suit on a hook on the reverse side.
  2592. >You sit down on the bed looking at the bag and you can’t help but think.
  2593. >Tomorrow is going to be a big day.
  2594.  
  2595. >End Day Two.
  2596.  
  2597. >You are Twilight Sparkle, Anon just walked out the door, Spike is in the kitchen cleaning up, and everything has gone completely wrong.
  2598. >Everything was going perfectly according to plan, and now it’s all been ruined for you.
  2599. >You spent weeks preparing everything, checklist after checklist written to make sure everything was perfect for when you told Anon how you feel.
  2600. >All gone now.
  2601. >”Are you okay, Twilight?”
  2602. >Oh look, and Pinkie’s still here.
  2603. >It’s not enough that she gets everything she wants, she has to gloat too?
  2604. “Why aren’t you following Anon to tell him how you feel? It’s a perfect night for it.”
  2605. >You spit, the waver in your voice replaced with a hard, bitter edge.
  2606. >”Don’t worry about me, I already did. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
  2607. >Pinkie says casually before she asks.
  2608. >”Why didn’t you tell me I could use an assistant?"
  2609. >She says with a puzzled look in her eyes and you roll your eyes and shoot her an exasperated glare.
  2610. ”Every professional chef has an assistant, why should I tell you how your own profession works?”
  2611. >That should be obvious, right? Why should you even have to explain it.
  2612. >”I guess that’s true, but I wish you would have told me beforehand. I thought this was supposed to be one-on-one.”
  2613. >Pinkie says, her eyes glued to the floor, looking as though she’d been stabbed in the back.
  2614. >And that’s when you realize, Pinkie thinks you’ve cheated her.
  2615. >And even though she won, in a way you did.
  2616. >You’ve been so fixated on everything that you didn’t even stop to consider explaining the rules to her.
  2617. >You thought they were obvious and now, because of your carelessness, not only are you going to lose Anon, you’re going to lose Pinkie as a friend too.
  2618. >The bitter edge in your voice crumbles, leaving it raspy and weak.
  2619. “I’m sorry, Pinkie, I should have said so…”
  2620. >Your voice trails off as you try to think of how to continue, when suddenly you feel Pinkie’s hooves wrapped around your neck.
  2621. >”It’s okay, Twilight, and I’m sorry things didn’t go the way you wanted them to.”
  2622. >As Pinkie lets you go you plop onto the floor dumbfounded, unable to process what’s happening.
  2623. >”I’ll let you get some rest Twilight, see you tomorrow.”
  2624. >Pinkie says with a melancholy frown as she lets herself out, leaving you alone in the empty dining room.
  2625.  
  2626. >End of Day Two.
  2627.  
  2628. >When you wake up it’s still dark outside.
  2629. >You look at the clock and it reads 7:15.
  2630. >It’s unusual for you to wake up before Bulk’s morning ritual, but maybe he’s just being thrown off by the overcast day outside.
  2631. >You think groggily to yourself as you sit up in bed and scratch the snoozing puppy that had snuggled up next to you in the night.
  2632. “Well, if Bulk is going to sleep through the morning run, I might as well get ready for the gala and meet up with the others, huh, buddy?”
  2633. >You rationalize skipping your morning workout to your dog in honor of the day’s special event, and while it does nothing to convince Ace, it does at least convince you.
  2634. >And so you haul yourself up out of bed and stagger down the hall to the shower.
  2635. >One invigorating shower later, you exit the bathroom in a cloud of steam to find the house still dark.
  2636. “Maybe Bulk already left on his own.”
  2637. >You mutter as you let yourself back into your room and begin getting suited up in your new tuxedo.
  2638. >It’s not until you’ve put on your cufflinks and are tightening your bowtie that you notice something peculiar.
  2639. >It hasn’t gotten any brighter outside at all, you think to yourself as you glance at the window.
  2640. “I must have gotten in one hell of a quick shower.”
  2641. >You muse idly as you turn to look at the clock on your nightstand to see what kind of time you made.
  2642. >The clock reads 8:30, well over an hour past when you woke up.
  2643. >Not so fast then, you think to yourself before the time properly registers and you doubletake, grabbing the clock to make sure you read it correctly.
  2644. >The hands on the clock continue to insist that it’s currently 8:30, no matter how hard you shake it and you run to the window for answers.
  2645. >Once there, you discover something that sends a shiver down your spine.
  2646. >You discover that it isn’t overcast at all.
  2647. >In fact, there isn’t a cloud in the sky.
  2648. >You discover that this dim morning isn’t caused by cloud cover, but complete and total absence of the sun.
  2649. >You arrive at the library to find it lit up, light pouring out of every window.
  2650. “Hey, Twilight, do you know anything about what’s going on?”
  2651. >You shout as you knock on the door to the library.
  2652. >At first there’s no reply, but eventualy Spike pulls open the door.
  2653. >”Sorry about the wait, big guy. The girls are already here trying to figure out what to do.”
  2654. >Spike explains as he hurries you inside.
  2655. >”I’m glad you’re here, man. I don’t know what a couple of regular shmucks like us can do to help, but at least I don’t have to be alone in the no powers boat.”
  2656. >Spike shivers involuntarily as he looks out at sky before leading you back to where the others are gathered.
  2657. >The two of you arrive in the library where Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie are all waiting.
  2658. >As you enter, you can’t help but notice Spike shoot a worried glance in Twilight’s direction.
  2659. >With the exception of Rarity, they all look like they just crawled out of bed to some extent, but Twilight is by far the worst off.
  2660. >Her eyes are bloodshot, her mane frazzled and when she speaks her voice is scratchy and raw.
  2661. >”Please take a seat, Anon, I was actually about to send Spike out to find you.”
  2662. >Twilight, says as she levitates your seat out from the table for you.
  2663. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m just some guy; what would be so important you need to wait for me?”
  2664. >You ask as you take a seat at the table and Spike pulls up a chair next to you.
  2665. >”Hopefully this will shed some light on the subject.”
  2666. >”Pfft, shed some light.”
  2667. >Pinkie sniggers at the unintentional pun as Twilight produces a scroll bearing Celestia’s seal.
  2668. >Twilight simply rolls her eyes as she opens the scroll and begins to read.
  2669. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4rQtSEmPp8
  2670.  
  2671. My most faithful student,
  2672. Please forgive me for leaving so suddenly, but trouble is brewing, and I fear we’ve no time to lose.
  2673. I'm not sure why, but I cannot raise the sun. And to make matters worse, Luna has vanished from the castle.
  2674. I hate to leave you without guidance, but I fear without Luna the sun may never rise again.
  2675. As the Princess of the sun, I have a favor to ask of you and the elements...
  2676. There may be another way to restore the light of day to Equestria, and I need you girls to go out into world outside and find the key—the key to our survival. If I can’t find Luna in time, that may be our last hope!
  2677. If you use the enclosed spell, it should allow you to slip beyond the bounds of Equestria. Take care Twilight.
  2678.  
  2679. P.S. Perhaps you should take Anonymous with you. As the only outsider Equestria has seen in centuries, he may prove an invaluable guide.
  2680.  
  2681. -Princess Celestia
  2682.  
  2683. >The room sits in shocked silence, as the ponies gathered there process what they just heard.
  2684. >”Um… w-what do you think the princess meant by the world outside?”
  2685. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdVVFpVVF7Y
  2686. >Surprisingly, Fluttershy is the first to break the silence, hiding behind her mane as she asks her question.
  2687. “Well, given what she said about Anonymous, Ah reckon she means wherever it is he came from.”
  2688. >Applejack replies rubbing her chin as she tries to wrap her head around the problem at hand.
  2689. >”But darling, why would something capable of restoring the movement of our sun rest on Anonymous's world? He’s told us on several occasions that as far as he knew, magic doesn’t exist where he comes from.”
  2690. >Rarity interjects but Rainbow Dash is quick to cut her off.
  2691. >”We learn new stuff about our world all the time! I mean, a year ago we all thought Nightmare Moon was a legend; who’s to say what secrets Anon doesn’t know about his world?”
  2692. >Everyone nods at the surprisingly salient point from Rainbow Dash until Fluttershy speaks up.
  2693. >”Um… I-I hate to rain on everypony’s parade, but how are we supposed to know this key when we find it?”
  2694. >Fluttershy stammers hey eyes glued to the table as she avoids the group’s gaze and the room’s mood begins to falter.
  2695. >”Don’t worry about it Flutters: between the 7 of us we’ll be able to figure anything out!”
  2696. Pinkie says with a grin as her positive energy revitalizes the mood.
  2697. >”Pinkie’s right, we can’t let our fear of the unknown hold us back.”
  2698. >Twilight says as she sets the letter in the middle of the table.
  2699. >”This is something that we need to do, regardless of whatever fears or uncertainties we may have. Celestia told us what she can, it’s up to us to do the rest.”
  2700. >Even through the rasp in her voice, Twilight’s resolve is obvious as the other ponies at the table nod in agreement.
  2701. “Well, if Celestia thinks I can help, count me in.”
  2702. >You say as Twilight nods at you.
  2703. >”Thank you, Anon, I knew we could count on you to pitch in in this crisis.”
  2704. “So what do we do now? Do we need to gather provisions or something?”
  2705. >You ask as the others wait for direction.
  2706. >”I don’t think that’ll be necessary: your world is a civilized place, after all. I’m sure we can get what food we need there.”
  2707. >Twilight shakes her head as she considers your question aloud.
  2708. >”All we really need to do is use this spell and we’ll be on our way.”
  2709. >Twilight says as she pulls out an attached document.
  2710. >”According to this, we need to be at as high an altitude as we can before we activate it.”
  2711. >Twilight says as she looks over the formulas and diagrams.
  2712. >”I think I have just the thing, follow me everypony!”
  2713. >As Twilight leads you all outside, you discover just what she had in mind.
  2714. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbBbV_zP1d8
  2715. >”Uh, Twilight, Ah don’t think we’re all gonna fit in that there basket.”
  2716. >AJ says as she sees your group’s means of conveyance.
  2717. >”Not to worry, it wouldn’t have flown high enough like this either. Fortunately, enlarge spells exist.”
  2718. >Twilight says as her horn glows, and the entire balloon grows until the basket is large enough to comfortably accommodate the seven of you.
  2719. >”Spike, I’d like you to come with us too. If we need the Princess or, more importantly, if she needs us, you’re our only way of contacting her.”
  2720. >Make that the eight of us, you think as Spike snaps into a salute.
  2721. >The eight of you pile into the basket as Twilight begins inflating the balloon, and it isn’t long before your intrepid band of adventurers is drifting skyward through the black, moonlit night.
  2722. >As you drift higher and higher, the can-do attitude from just a few minutes prior seems to have been replaced by an air of silent determination as Twilight sits off in a corner by herself and Pinkie peers wistfully over the rim of the basket at Canterlot Castle in the distance.
  2723. >Finally, the balloon reaches its apex: the moon so large and clear that it almost seems like you can touch it as it hangs suspended against the black, velvet backdrop of night.
  2724. >”Okay, now all we need to do is cast the spell and we’ll be on our way.”
  2725. >Twilight says as her horn begins to glow and she faces out towards the empty night beyond the safety of your basket.
  2726. >A flickering rift in space begins to form that slowly widens as Twilight focuses on it.
  2727. >As you turn away from the void and look back down on Equestria, you catch something strange on the surface of the moon out of the corner of your eye.
  2728. >It seemed like some burst of shadow flared across a point on its surface and then flickered away.
  2729. >Like some kind of smoky, black explosion.
  2730. >You strain your eyes trying to catch it again as Twilight channels her spell, but as the minutes go by you see nothing.
  2731. >The portal is nearly complete, and you’re about to give up on your search, when you finally see something.
  2732. >But the thing you see isn’t on the surface of the moon.
  2733. >What you see is what seems like a comet of pure seething shadow hurtling toward the balloon across the sky at incredible speed.
  2734. >It starts out at the edge of your vision, and within seconds it’s nearly to the balloon.
  2735. >Did this thing… launch itself at you from the moon?
  2736. >The thought barely has time to cross your mind as you shout.
  2737. “Everyone, hang on to something!”
  2738. >Pulling out your keytar and running to the edge of the basket as this object streaks towards you.
  2739. >Fortunately, whatever it is seems to slow down as it approaches, but it still slams into the basket of the balloon: coming down at a high angle, ripping through it like tissue paper and tearing the balloon itself to shreds.
  2740. >You, perhaps foolishly, tried to hold up your keytar and deflect whatever this thing was, but all you get for your trouble is a rain of shattered plastic and gems surrounding you as the eight of you plummet through the air, falling away from the semi complete portal.
  2741. >”Don’t worry, guys, we got you!”
  2742. >Rainbow Dash shouts as she whips around to try and pluck as many of you as she can out of the air as Fluttershy tries to do the same.
  2743. >But Rainbow Dash’s voice seems far away as you fall face first towards Equestria, your vision fixated on the shadowy comet that destroyed your ride as the projectile slows to a halt in mid-air.
  2744. >What you see shocks you: not some projectile, but a man in a heavy black leather coat, his face obscured in shadow by the coat’s deep hood.
  2745. >But the coat isn’t what stands out the most as this figure hangs in the air: it is the glittering silvery-blue sword that he holds in hand.
  2746. >As he floats there, the weapon stretches and contorts as its structure seems to unfold into something that resembles giant tennis racket, or maybe an impossibly large axe ringed with massive vicious spikes around its edges.
  2747. >He grips the hilt of the gigantic weapon like a baseball bat, and swings it at you and your falling companions, catching all of you with the flat of the impossibly large blade and sending you all flying back up towards the portal.
  2748. >The last thing you remember is barely being able to pick out the sound of Pinkie and Twilight calling your name amidst the screaming pandemonium as the eight of you tumble through the portal.
  2749. >And then... darkness.
  2750.  
  2751. >You awaken to the sound of the wind howling across a desolate expanse, as you find yourself in a small alcove surrounded by the shattered remains of the keytar.
  2752. “Pinkie! Twilight! Spike! Anyone there?”
  2753. >You shout, hoping that one of the others had fallen nearby, but your voice echoes back to you, rendered hollow by the alcove you find yourself in.
  2754. “Well, I’m not going to find anyone sitting around here.”
  2755. >You mutter to yourself as you pick up what pieces of Pinkie’s keytar you can find.
  2756. >Unfortunately, that amounts to a fistful of gems, a few keys, and some random chunks of plastic.
  2757. >The rest is probably scattered across wherever this place is.
  2758. >You make your way to where the alcove opens up to try and get your bearings; maybe there’s a town nearby that can you can find help at.
  2759. >When you leave the relative shelter of the alcove, the first thing you notice is the sand stinging your face as it’s whipped around on the wind.
  2760. >Your mask offers you some degree of protection, but you can still feel its bite even through the thin green fabric.
  2761. >The second thing you notice is that there’s most likely not going to be help coming anytime soon.
  2762. “Civilized, my ass.”
  2763. >You mutter as you walk out onto a narrow ridge, finding that below you, for as far as the eye can see, lies a parched, barren landscape.
  2764. >You squint and scan the environment as best you can, only to find that wherever you are is a complete wasteland. The ground is cracked dry and peppered with craters, and, to your dismay, you can’t see even the scraggliest, grayest plant life trying to take root.
  2765. >You sigh and retreat back into the alcove momentarily; even if you don’t have water it would be worthwhile to at least take stock of what you do have.
  2766. >You rifle through your pockets and find Dapper Dan’s wakeup tonic, along with a mysterious potion.
  2767. >They might help keep you hydrated for a while, if worse comes to worse.
  2768. >You also find a spare quill, and your jar of pomade, both of which are largely useless to you out here.
  2769. >You pull your sunglasses from your pocket and realize that they might come in handy in keeping the sand out of your eyes while you’re in these dusty badlands.
  2770. >You pull from your breast pocket Twilight’s notes on basic elemental magic and spell shaping, which you had wanted to read on the train ride to Canterlot, along with the green gem you pulled from the timberwolf, which you’ve been hanging on to for safe keeping.
  2771. >Finally, you pull a glittering gold pocket watch from your jacket.
  2772. >Pinkie’s gift. She did say wait until the morning of the gala, and the sun is up here, but you aren’t entirely sure if another world’s sun counts.
  2773. >You hold it up to your ear and you can hear the inner workings ticking away inside, so at least that’s one thing Pinkie’s given you that managed not to break.
  2774. >You run your fingers over the star on the face of the watch, and you can’t help but wonder what it was that Pinkie wanted you to wait till today to open it for.
  2775. >This might be the last quiet moment like this you have for a while.
  2776. >Will you open the watch?
  2777.  
  2778. "Well, I’d hate to die in the desert not knowing the secret."
  2779. >You mutter to yourself as you pop the watch’s cover open with a press of the clasp.
  2780. >As the cover flips down, revealing the watches transparent face and the gears whirring within, you notice nothing unusual within save for a small rose collared gem embedded near the top of the cover’s inner face.
  2781. “So what was the big d-?“
  2782. >Before you can fully articulate that thought, a light flickers to life inside the gem and a fuzzy image of Pinkie Pie is project into the air in front of the watch face.
  2783. >”Is it on, Rarity?”
  2784. >Pinkie asks as she peers somewhere behind the camera, her voice full of a nervous energy.
  2785. >”Yes, dear, it’s on. Are you sure you don’t want to do something about the lighting? Perhaps wear your gown?”
  2786. >You can hear Rarity ask from off-screen, presumably behind whatever camera recorded this message.
  2787. >”It’s fine, Rares, can we just do this before I lose my nerve and go with the engraving?”
  2788. >”Have it your way, darling, you can start whenever you’re ready.”
  2789. >You can practically hear the suppressed laughter behind Rarity’s mock sigh at Pinkie’s nerves.
  2790. >Pinkie tries to speak a few times, only to flush and look away each time she looks into the camera.
  2791. >”Don’t worry about trying to find some grand perfect expression, darling, just tell him how you feel.”
  2792. >Rarity’s voice comes from behind the camera, any note of mirth at her friends predicament gone, leaving an understanding warmth in its place.
  2793. >Pinkie’s eyes dart back and forth like she’s trying to find a place to hide, before she finally looks into the camera and starts to speak.
  2794. >”Um… hi Nonny, I, uh, don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to do what I always do: blurt out whatever comes to mind.”
  2795. >Pinkie blushes and rubs a hoof behind her head, embarrassed at herself.
  2796. >”I guess, first off, I’m sorry I’ve been acting so weird lately. It’s just that ... I like you. I mean, I like like you."
  2797. >Pinkie stops rubbing her head, and despite the blush spreading on her face, she stares directly into the camera, determined.
  2798. >"It's like wanting to be friends, but biggerer. I wanna have picnics, just you and me, I wanna pick out pointless candles with you, I wanna…"
  2799. >Pinkie blushes more deeply and looks away briefly.
  2800. >"I wanna hold your hand and just watch the world go by."
  2801. >She falters, and the camera bobs, as you see Rarity’s hoof peak into the bottom of the frame, as she gestures at Pinkie to keep going.
  2802. >Pinkie rallies, planting her hooves as she looks back at the camera again.
  2803. >"Anyways, I don't know if you feel the same, but I hope so because I want to go to the Gala with you."
  2804. > Pinkie lets out a huge breath, and her focus shifts behind the camera again.
  2805. >"Okay, Rarity, I'm done."
  2806. >She face-hoofs and mutters to herself.
  2807. >"No, wait, erase the gem, start over. I sounded ridiculous. 'Hold your hand'? Nonny will never go to the Gala with me."
  2808. >"Oh, I don't know about that, dear. Besides, this footage is simply too precious to delete. We simply must get Time Turner to put this in the watch."
  2809. >The view starts shaking wildly and you can hear Pinkie demanding and pleading at the same time for Rarity to give her back the gem in the background as she chases the dressmaker around the room.
  2810. >As the frame settles you can hear one final resigned plea from Pinkie Pie.
  2811. >”Can we at least get him to edit out the beginning and the end? I don’t want him to see me like that.”
  2812. >”Of course we can, darling, he is a professional affffffffftttttt-“
  2813. >The recording slows and the audio slurs, before it blinks out completely and the gem goes dark.
  2814. “No, that can’t be it.”
  2815. >You mutter desperately, as you slap the cover of the watch with the heel of your palm.
  2816. >You feel a glimmer of hope as the gem flickers weakly when you strike it.
  2817. >But the recording fails to resume.
  2818. >You close the watch and pop it open again, and yet the gem remains silent.
  2819. >Damp spots form on your mask near the corners of your eyes as you sit, trying fruitlessly again and again to get the recording to play.
  2820. “How could I have been so blind?”
  2821. >You groan, looking down at the watch as you close it one final time and attach the chain to your belt.
  2822. “I promise, Pinkie, I’m going to give you an answer.”
  2823. >You swear quietly to yourself, your voice firm and determined as you rise to your feet.
  2824. >Slapping your hands on the sides of your face, you stand as you rub your eyes dry with your mask.
  2825. “First things first, I need to find a way out of here.”
  2826. >You speak aloud trying to organize your thoughts as you pull off your bowtie and cram it into a pocket.
  2827. >Flipping open your aviators and slipping them on, the tinted glass shielding your eyes from the biting, sand-laden wind, you step out onto the open ledge once more.
  2828. >As you stand on the narrow rim, you pull the Wolf’s Tear from your pocket and gaze through the gem, it’s magical properties allowing you to get a better lay of the land.
  2829. >You find that the ledge you’re standing on follows the cliff face down into a narrow canyon that twists and turns through the badlands, before arriving at what appears at first glance to be a dead end.
  2830. >But as you look closer, you see what appears to be a fissure in the ravine wall that leads clear through the rock face to a vast, flat expanse on the other side.
  2831. >You’d call it a desert, but there appears to be some kind of dull, glinting metal structure spanning as far as the eye can see on the other side of the wall.
  2832. >Maybe some kind of solar array?
  2833. >Regardless, it’s the closest thing to signs of civilization you’ve seen in this wasteland.
  2834. >You pocket the gem and start making your way down the path, gripped by a steely resolve as you look at the watch and tell yourself.
  2835. “There’s no way I’m dying out here now.”
  2836. >As you make your way down the ridge you can see huge mesas in the distance jutting out of the earth, but what makes them impressive isn’t their size.
  2837. >No, the truly impressive thing is the massive holes carved out of their sides, and the fact that the empty space blasted in the rock seems to create some kind of trajectory leading down to a massive impact crater out in the desert.
  2838. >You can’t help but wonder what could have done something like that as you make your way down into the ravine and the decimated landscape disappears behind the lip of the canyon as you descend.
  2839. >As you drop down into the canyon, the wind picks up as it’s forced through the stone corridor, the harsh stinging sand on the wind might have been enough to blind you, were it not for the tinted glass lenses protecting your eyes.
  2840. >But as it stands, it’s still more than enough to make the way ahead hard going as you trudge through the windswept gulch.
  2841. >As you make your way to the end of the canyon, you notice dust devils occasionally twisting into existence before petering out.
  2842. >Watching them come and go serves as a decent distraction to pass the time until one twists up a few feet ahead of you and begins howling your way.
  2843. >You manage to jump aside, diving to the dusty canyon floor and narrowly avoiding the dust devil as it spins past you and shortly dissipates as quickly as it formed.
  2844. >You pick yourself up and dust off your suit before continuing on, keeping on your toes just in case any more errant twisters come your way.
  2845. >Fortunately, no more dust devils materialize anywhere remotely close by and you make your way to the end of the canyon without incident.
  2846. >It feels like you’ve been walking for hours, but the sun doesn’t seem to move above this parched windswept wasteland, so it’s difficult to tell just how long it’s really taken you to reach the fissure at the far end of the canyon.
  2847. >The wind is quiet here and you take a seat on a nearby outcropping to catch your breath after the long walk from where you woke up.
  2848. >As you sit, you pull out your watch to see if the magic within it operates on some kind of cycle.
  2849. >But when you pop the watch open the crystal is as dead as it was the last time you tried.
  2850. >You do at least manage to learn that it’s been a little over two hours since you left the alcove you started from.
  2851. >As you snap the watch shut something glints in the sunlight near the fissure leading out of the canyon.
  2852. >You hop up and run over to it, finding some kind of metal apparatus with a clear blue gemstone at its center that has been mostly swallowed by the sand.
  2853. >As you brush the sand away, you discover that being buried is the least of this device’s problems.
  2854. >It’s extensively rusted to the point that holes have been eaten in its casing, revealing a nest of corroded wires and circuitry within.
  2855. >It looks like, whatever the object might have been, it’s been dead for a long time.
  2856. >The only thing of note you manage to find on the device is an engraving on its underside that reads "Kupo Inc. Mobile Storefront".
  2857. >You briefly consider keeping it and attempting to repair it, but, judging by the holes burned in what circuit boards you can see through the rusted casing, whatever this thing was repairing it looks to be a lost cause.
  2858. >At least it’s a sign of civilization, you think to yourself as you toss it back into the sand and head through the fissure in the canyon wall out to whatever structure you saw from the ridge.
  2859. >As you reach the end of the fissure, you step out into the sunlit expanse of barren, blasted earth beyond and it takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust.
  2860. >The world slowly comes into focus, and what you discover is not a vast array of solar panels soaking up the desert sun, but an endless expanse of rusted swords planted in the dry cracked earth for as far as the eye can see.
  2861. >At least, they look like swords. As you walk closer to get a better look you find that most of them don’t actually have a proper edge.
  2862. >Now you might have attributed a few such weapons to the ravages of the desert but most of them don’t seem to have so much as the beginning of a bevel that might be sharpened to a proper edge.
  2863. >Some of them even seem to be nothing more than steel bars with overly ornate guards
  2864. “What the hell?”
  2865. >You mutter to yourself as you grab hilt of one of the weapons and the cracked leather wrapping on the grip crumbles away in your hand.
  2866. >You try again, gripping the now bare metal, and the blade creaks and twists as you pull, prompting you to let go and abandon the now warped blade.
  2867. >You get the feeling that if you pulled much harder it would have snapped clean off in your hand, and decide to leave the ruined blades where they lie.
  2868. >Still, you can’t help but feel like maybe you’ve seen something like them before.
  2869. >Try as you might though you can’t place where.
  2870. >In this endless expanse of weapons, a single path leads away from the mouth of the fissure off into the distance.
  2871. “Might as well keep going.”
  2872. >You say with a sigh as you walk out into the desert.
  2873. >It takes a few minutes, but as you walk past the endless rows of swords it hits you.
  2874. >A graveyard.
  2875. >That’s what this collection of rusted swords spanning out to the horizon reminds you of.
  2876. >A graveyard built to honor the dead of some ancient battle.
  2877. >One fought so long ago, that even those it was fought to defend have long since forgotten it.
  2878. >It might just be your imagination, but despite the heat a shiver runs down your spine.
  2879. >Eventually, you finally see something in the distance that breaks the uniformity of the row you’ve been walking down.
  2880. >As you draw closer, you discover that it’s a collection of seven of these weapons you’ve been walking past, arranged in a semi-circle around a platform planted dead in the center of a crossroad of the path you find yourself on.
  2881. >From a distance, you can’t help but think that they look vaguely like a collection of skeleton keys stuck in the sand.
  2882. >When you finally reach the cluster of swords, you notice a large chest with the words "OPEN ME" engraved deeply into the lid, waiting in front of the crossroads.
  2883. >The edges of the letters have been worn smooth by the passage of time, but the letters themselves are still legible.
  2884. >As you walk around this bizarre installation examining the swords you discover that while, for the most part, they all bear wildly different designs ranging from incredibly intricate flame-like patterns to broad, heavy, and brutally simple they are all uniform in that they all stand, ravaged by the passage of time, rusted and sand worn.
  2885. >Finally you find yourself back at the chest, staring at its invitation for you to open it.
  2886. “What have I really got to lose at this point.”
  2887. >You ask the long abandoned graveyard as you crouch down and push open the lid of the chest.
  2888. >The rusty hinges resist at first, but in short open the heavy lid swings back, revealing a bottle with a scroll inside and a small wooden box just big enough to hold a softball carved with the words, “read letter first”.
  2889. >Within the bottle you can see a scroll stamped with a crown, and as you pull the cork free and slide the letter out, you can’t help but notice the crown bears a striking resemblance to the one decorating the face of your watch.
  2890. >You open the scroll and begin to read.
  2891.  
  2892. Hey buddy,
  2893. I’d ask how it’s going, but if you’re here reading this letter, it’s probably going pretty bad.
  2894. Like survived the end of the world and now you’re lost and alone bad.
  2895. I really wish this letter could find you under better circumstances, but Riku says that if we do our jobs right, no one will ever find this letter at all.
  2896. So, if you’re reading this, before I say anything else, first let me say I’m sorry.
  2897. If you’re reading this, it means we screwed up and we need to ask you to clean up our mess.
  2898. See, a long time ago, hopefully a long LONG time ago a jerk named Xehanort tried to end the world.
  2899. My friends and I totally stopped him, but the problem is he was a slippery kinda guy.
  2900. You know the type, wheels within wheels and all that.
  2901. Anyway, a couple of his friends managed to get away from us.
  2902. And well, we have no idea where they are or what they’re planning.
  2903. But it probably isn’t anything good.
  2904. We’re going to try and find them, and so are whatever students we raise to follow in our footsteps.
  2905. But you’re here reading this, so either that plan failed, or some entirely new threat has arisen that we weren’t able to stop.
  2906. And that’s where you come in: this place exists as a last resort, our final contingency plan in case everything else goes south.
  2907. If the stars ever start to go out again, and the walls between the worlds start to break down, the magic in this place will call out to someone with the strength of heart to stand up to the darkness and guide them here.
  2908. I’m sorry that we can’t be there to fix this ourselves, but this is all we can do to help you.
  2909. Step onto the platform and hold out your hand; if you really have what it takes, everything else will sort itself out.
  2910.  
  2911. May your heart be your guiding key.
  2912.  
  2913. Your friend always,
  2914. -Master Sora
  2915.  
  2916. >You blink and read the letter a second time.
  2917. “What?”
  2918. >You read it through a third time.
  2919. “There’s no way that’s right. I mean, I’m just here because of Twilight’s spell.”
  2920. “Right?”
  2921. >The infinite empty expanse of rusted weaponry has no response for you as you step up onto the platform.
  2922. “Might as well get this over with and get back to trying to find a way out of here.”
  2923. >You say as you hold out a hand.
  2924. And for a moment, nothing happens.
  2925. “Sorry, Sora, I’m no one special.”
  2926. >You say, unsurprised by the continued undisturbed silence around you.
  2927. >But as you go to pull back your hand, something happens.
  2928. >Your fingertips brush against an invisible object, and you hear a voice begin to speak in your head.
  2929. >The voice belongs to a woman, and you can’t help but hear a deep and abiding loneliness behind her soft-spoken kind words.
  2930. >”I’m so sorry, the Keyblade is an incredible burden, and it’s unfair of us to ask this of you.”
  2931. >As she speaks you can feel her sadness wash over you like a wave rolling off a vast sunless sea.
  2932. >”But this may be the last chance for both of us to protect those that we love. If you’re willing to accept, hold out your hand once more.”
  2933. >Your friends flash across your mind’s eye: Ace, Bulk, Twilight, Fluttershy, AJ, Dash, Rarity, Spike, and finally Pinkie.
  2934. >They’re all in danger. Them and everyone else back on Equis.
  2935. “I may not be special, but there’s no way I’m going to leave my friends hanging!”
  2936. >You shout as you hold out your hand and one of the seven swords begins to glow softly.
  2937. >The glowing sword is nearly rapier thin, with a pair of diamond shaped holes near the circular ovoid hilt, and as it glows the woman speaks again.
  2938. >”In your hand take this Key.”
  2939. >”And, if you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, it’s wielder you will one day be.”
  2940. >As she speaks, the cobalt key glows brighter and brighter until it vanishes in a flash of light, and a burst of light shines out from the invisible object floating in front of your hand.
  2941. >The voice continues to speak as you wrap your fingers around the shaft of light and feel a rush of energy flow through you.
  2942. >”And you will find me, friend; no world can contain you then. No more borders around, or below, or above. So long as you champion the ones you love.”
  2943. >The light in your hand fades, and you find your fingers wrapped around the emerald grip of a bright red sword with a red and white circular guard.
  2944. >Or, what was it she called it? A Keyblade?
  2945. >And as you look at it, you can see that it does in fact resemble a skeleton key with a set of teeth in the shape of question mark up near the tip of the blade.
  2946. >You give it a test swing, and the oversized key feels perfectly balanced in your hand.
  2947. >Stepping down from the platform, you return to the chest and retrieve the wooden box within.
  2948. >You look at the key in your right hand and the box in you left.
  2949. “This might get a little tricky.”
  2950. >You say to yourself, not wanting to jam the weapon into the sand to free up a hand.
  2951. >As soon as you finish thinking that thought the keyblade disappears, and in a moment of panic you call out to it, only for it to reappear safe and sound in your hand.
  2952. >Apparently it can do that, you think to yourself as you intentionally dismiss the key and open the wooden box.
  2953. >Inside, you find another note, this one in a different set of handwriting.
  2954.  
  2955. Sorry to throw all this on you so fast, fella, but we wouldn’t have done it if we didn’t all think it was necessary.
  2956. This here’s a star shard, I used to use it to get around back when the walls between the worlds first fell.
  2957. I just hope it’s got enough juice left, after however long it’s been sitting here, to get you out of here.
  2958. Just hold it up and it should get you out of here.
  2959.  
  2960. Thanks again pal,
  2961. -King Mickey.
  2962.  
  2963. >Under the note, you find a large, blue, star-shaped crystal with a little yellow star and a spiky yellow ring embedded inside. One of the crystal’s points is missing, however, and from that point the protruding section of the ring juts out, distorted into the shape of a bolt of lighting.
  2964. >There does seem to be some kind of flickering light within the gem, but the flashes are faint, few, and far between.
  2965. “Man, if this thing doesn’t work and I’m stranded here after all thism, I’m gonna be pissed."
  2966. >You mutter as you reach in and grab the gem.
  2967. >To your surprise it isn’t hard like you expected it to be. It actually feels pliant to the touch like rubber or gelatin.
  2968. >Almost as though you could slice it open if you tried hard enough.
  2969. “Well, here goes nothing.”
  2970. >You say as you hold the star aloft and, for a heart stopping moment, nothing happens.
  2971. >Then the light inside the star swells, growing brighter and brighter before it envelopes you, and you zig and zag across the desert before shooting off into the sky.
  2972.  
  2973. >End Keyblade Graveyard.
  2974.  
  2975. >As the light of the star shard envelopes you, the only sensation you can recall is the feeling of moving at an incredible speed as you’re flung out beyond the bounds of this dead world.
  2976. >The next feeling you register is your speed suddenly breaking as you streak down through the sky of some new world, only to bounce off of something as you fall.
  2977. >You ricochet off something else as you tumble to earth before finally clattering to a stop in a pile of tin cans.
  2978. “Oh, Jesus, my kidneys.”
  2979. >You groan as you pull yourself to your feet and try to take stock of the new environment you find yourself in.
  2980. >As you look up you see a couple of towers made of haphazardly stacked dilapidated cars, one of which is now leaning precariously away from you as refuse clatters down to the clearing you find yourself in.
  2981. >You can only assume that these are what you crashed into on your way down.
  2982. >Probably better bounce before one of these things decide to fall on me, you think to yourself, cans crunching underfoot as you pick your way out of the trash filled alcove.
  2983. >When you finally manage to navigate the detritus littering the alcove floor and step out into the open air you find yourself standing on a hillside.
  2984. >Or at least, it would be a hillside were it not for the fact that you’re clearly standing on the broken wing of a 747 resting on a massive pile of broken appliances and smashed vehicles.
  2985. >As you look out away from your landing zone and survey the landscape you’re greeted by the sight of massive piles of rusted junk for as far as the eye can see sprawling beneath cloudless starry sky.
  2986. >As you look up at the stars, you can’t help but find something peculiar about the normally comforting site.
  2987. >Surely a world that can produce refuse of this kind of magnitude would have a sky choked with smog.
  2988. >But somehow the stars are so bright, were it not for the mountains of scrap framing the view, you’d think you were stargazing on a clear night back at Ponyville.
  2989. >You get out the star shard, half considering leaving this world behind and starting your search in a more populated world.
  2990. >But as you look at the crystal, you discover that the gem has grown dull and lifeless; it would seem whatever faint glimmer of light the star shard held was holding on to has finally gone out.
  2991. >You sigh and pocket the shard, maybe you can charge it again but you won’t be getting off this world anytime soon.
  2992. “Might as well look for the others while I’m here.”
  2993. >You sigh, trying to stay positive but doubtful that you’ll find anyone in a place like this.
  2994. >You look out at the expanse of junk trying to find a place to start searching and a couple things catch your eye.
  2995. >the first thing you see is a gas station nestled in the foothills of a nearby trash pile. Nestled is perhaps putting it mildly because the station is in fact half buried in trash.
  2996. >But, although the back of the canopy and most of the station itself is buried you can see a light coming from within the station and out from the service bays.
  2997. >The second thing you see you almost miss, but there, silhouetted against the low hanging moon, is the arm of a crane.
  2998. >If there’s a crane, then there might be an operator, and if there’s an operator, they should be able to help you back to civilization.
  2999. >What do you want to try and investigate first and how do you want to go about it?
  3000.  
  3001. Welcome to The Heap.
  3002.  
  3003. >Know what? It’s dark, you just spent hours trudging through the desert, the crane seems promising and all, but that shit can wait. You might be able to talk to someone right now tonight down at the gas station.
  3004. >Guided by the light of the moon, you pick your way down into the trash foothills.
  3005. >You try to keep your eyes peeled for anything useful that you might salvage along the way but, though the moon provides enough light to guide your way, there’s not really enough light to find anything useful.
  3006. >It takes you a few minutes, but you finally manage to make your way down the hill into the valley below, though surprisingly the terrain isn’t nearly as treacherous as you suspected.
  3007. >Apparently, all the scrap and detritus has been packed pretty tightly under its own weight.
  3008. >Once you reach level ground, it doesn’t take you long at all to make your way through the foothills to the half-buried gas station.
  3009. >You see the light peaking around a junk heap before you can see the station itself, and as you round the bend you finally get a good look at the station.
  3010. >It’s remarkably intact for being buried under a mountain of trash, and you can see large metal shutters with the words "GO AWAY" spray painted on them pulled down over the windows.
  3011. >Still, despite the inhospitable front, there’s a light streaming out through the station’s glass front door and, more importantly, their open garage.
  3012. >You might as well try and see if whoever lives here will help you, sign or no sign.
  3013. >As you make your way into the garage, you can’t help but wonder what kind of person would live in a place like this.
  3014. >”Damn Heartless! How many times are you gonna keep coming back for more?”
  3015. >You find out very quickly that it’s the kind of person who attacks intruders on sight, as a huge wrench smacks you square in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of you
  3016. >You gasp and crumple to the floor wheezing before looking up to see a short, scraggly man sporting a leather jacket and a pair of goggles brandishing a massive wrench.
  3017. >Despite looking like a particularly lazy Mad Max reject, the thing that catches your eye about his getup is the simple black t-shirt that reads JERK in white block letters.
  3018. >You can’t help but think it’s an accurate description.
  3019. “Not... whatever… that… is...”
  3020. >You manage to force out the words as you hold up a hand, trying to hold the diminutive angry man at bay.
  3021. >”Yeah, and how do I know that? You don’t even have a face, you green weirdo!”
  3022. >The furious runt of a human being shouts before hauling back his wrench to club you upside the head.
  3023. “No, really dude! It’s just a mask, look!”
  3024. >You manage to shout as your breath returns just in time to yank off your mask, sending your sunglasses clattering to the floor as you reveal your face to the crazy-eyed, little man.
  3025. >For some reason, this only seems to make him madder.
  3026. >”SO?!”
  3027. >He showers you with spit as veins pop out of his forehead.
  3028. >”Now you’re TRESSPASSING and not just some monster breaking in! Did you not see the fucking building-sized signs out front? Were you raised in a barn?”
  3029. “Look, I’m sorry man, I know I shouldn’t have just waltzed in here like that, but I’m lost and I have no idea to get out of here. You’re the first person I’ve seen all day.”
  3030. >The little man lowers his wrench a little and rubs his scraggly black goatee as he squints at you.
  3031. >"Grrrah... Okay, fine! You can stay here, but only because you apologized, and, between you and the other new arrival, I think we might actually have a shot at getting off this shit heap. But that doesn’t mean I trust you, guy. I’m going to need some insurance.”
  3032. >The little man pokes you in the chest with his wrench before calling into the other room.
  3033. >”HEY, NEW GUY, WE GOT AN INTRUDER. GET OUT HERE AND ENSHACKLE HIM.”
  3034. >You hear the sound of footsteps falling pretty close together, almost as if they belonged to someone with particularly stumpy legs, followed by a familiar voice.
  3035. >”Look, Dan, I’m pretty sure 'enshackle' isn’t a wor-Holy Cow, Anon! What are you doing here?”
  3036. >Spike rounds the corner carrying a bundle of chains in his arms and drops them when he sees you slowly trying to shimmy your way back up the wall to a standing position.
  3037. >”You KNOW this reprobate?!”
  3038. >Dan shouts surprised before looking back at you.
  3039. >”Oh yeah, I’ve known Anon for months, so you can put the mace down.”
  3040. >Spike says as he runs up and holds up his hand for a low five
  3041. >”I was afraid I’d never see you again, big guy!”
  3042. >He says as he waits expectantly for you to give him five.
  3043. >Naturally you don’t leave him hanging, but you continue to watch the unstable little man with a leery eye.
  3044. >Dan mumbles to himself as he watches this display unfold, clearly confused.
  3045. >”But human… lizard man… how are they even from… You know what? Forget it, if Short Chris vouches for you, I’m fine with you crashing here.”
  3046. >He finally throws his hands up, surrendering to the situation before reaching out to shake your hand.
  3047. >”Well, I’m Dan, nice to meet you, Stretch.”
  3048. >He says with a fairly friendly tone, as though he didn’t just belt you in the stomach with a huge damn wrench.
  3049. “Anon.”
  3050. >You reply as you warily shake his hand.
  3051. >Dan, meanwhile, is not paying attention to you, but instead looking down at Spike who is shooting him a cocked eyebrow.
  3052. >”What? I’m not apologizing for the wrench, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
  3053. >Dan says indignantly as Spike just raises his eyebrow higher.
  3054. >”I did nothing wrong! He’s the one who broke in!”
  3055. >He jabs a finger your direction as he argues with the tiny dragon.
  3056. >”'Break in' is a little strong don'tcha think? The door was wide open. Besides it’d be the polite thing to do.”
  3057. >”Polite? I didn’t care about ‘polite’ back in North Hollywood, why would I give two shits about it on some post-apocalyptic trash heap”
  3058. >Dan snorts as he looks back to you.
  3059. >”Besides, he already apologized for putting me in that position; we’re totally cool now, right?”
  3060. >This isn’t really a hill you feel like dying on, especially considering what you just heard him say.
  3061. “Yeah, whatever, did you say North Hollywood? Are you from Earth too?”
  3062. >You bypass his question and get straight to the heart of the matter.
  3063. >”Well, yeah, but probably not the same one as you.”
  3064. >Dan says, rubbing his hand behind his head, not sure how to proceed.
  3065. >”Look, it’s kinda hard to explain. So you know there are other worlds out there besides your own right?”
  3066. >He asks and you nod an affirmative.
  3067. >”Okay, so here’s the short version: there are tons of worlds out there, some of them are fantastic and strange, and some of them are more like ours, mundane, normal, Earth-kind of places.”
  3068. >”So the odds of us both being from the same Earth are pretty low.”
  3069. >You and Spike look at each other before turning back to Dan.
  3070. “So, how do you know about this? I had never heard about other worlds before I woke up on this.”
  3071. >You inquire as you point at Spike.
  3072. >”Well, it all started with the stars going out, Chris and Elise said I was crazy, and it was just light pollution from LA, but I knew better. SO, I went to /x/ to get answers, and they were talking all kinds of shit about how it matched some ancient legend about Keyblade wielders and the end of the world.”
  3073. >A frown crosses Dan’s face when he mentions Chris and Elise, but he regains his composure quickly and forges ahead.
  3074. >”Naturally, I’d heard the legend before, but assumed it was a myth. But with the stars going out, I knew I had to get ready, so I poured over every thread I could find. I learned all kinds of stuff about the last great Keyblade war, but apparently you need one of these damn Keyblades to stop a world from falling, and so here I am.”
  3075. >Dan grips his wrench till his knuckles go white as his voice cuts through the quiet of the garage with a razor edge.
  3076. >”I’m going to get back at it if it’s the last thing I do.”
  3077. >His voice rises as he stands, raising his hands to the ceiling and shouting.
  3078. >”DARKNESSSSSSSSS!”
  3079. >His voice echoing around the tiny room before he finally sighs and lets his arms slump to his sides.
  3080. >”Look, guys, I’ll tell you more tomorrow if you want, but I’m gonna go crash for the night. We gotta start early on gathering what we need to get out of here."
  3081. >He says before trudging out of the room leaving you and Spike on your own.
  3082.  
  3083. >Looks like you’ve managed to find a relatively safe place to stay for the time being. Anything you’d like to do before you call it a night?
  3084.  
  3085. >Once you feel comfortable Dan is out of earshot, you turn to Spike.
  3086. “So what’s the 411, little guy? Any idea what happened to the others?”
  3087. >Spike’s smile turns to a frown as you ask him that question.
  3088. >”No, I was hoping you might know something.”
  3089. >He says, crestfallen as he turns his gaze to the grimy garage floor
  3090. “Don’t worry about it, buddy, we’ll find them.”
  3091. >You pat Spike on the back trying to reassure him, and while he looks up at you and smiles, his heart doesn’t really seem in it.
  3092. >”So, after we all got separated I woke up out there in The Heap alone. I spent most of the day wandering around until I got jumped by these weird shadow guys.”
  3093. >As Spike says that you’re struck by the most bizarre sense of recollection.
  3094. “Pitch black, glowing yellow eyes, and could sink into the ground and slide around?”
  3095. >”Yeah, how did you know?”
  3096. >Spike asks, shocked as you rub your head trying to remember where you saw them before.
  3097. “I… I’m not sure, but I think I’ve fought them before.”
  3098. >Spike cocks his head confused.
  3099. >”I think you’d definitely remember fighting these guys: I tried to fight my way through them, but I couldn’t land a solid punch. If Dan hadn’t shown up and scared them off when he did, I’d be a goner.”
  3100. >You groan internally, if he really did save Spike you might have to give him a pass on smacking you in the gut with a wrench.
  3101. >You wince as you think about the wrench and start poking around your ribs to make sure nothing is broken.
  3102. >Fortunately, you don’t feel any broken bones, just the odd bruise starting to form.
  3103. “I assume those things are the 'Heartless' Dan was talking about when he beat me with a wrench?”
  3104. >You involuntarily wince again mentioning the wrench before Spike continues.
  3105. >”Yeah, he said they were responsible for destroying his world and it wasn’t safe to go wandering around The Heap while they were here.”
  3106. “That’s the second time that's come up, what is The Heap anyway?”
  3107. >”Well, that’s what Dan calls this world: he says, as far as he can tell, this place isn’t a proper world at all. It’s kind of just a huge trash heap left over from the destruction of other worlds.”
  3108. >”So anyway, Dan recruited me for his escape project and now that you’re here, there’s no way we won’t succeed.”
  3109. >You nod as you look around the run down gas station and a thought occurs to you.
  3110. “Is this place even safe? How do we know those Heartless won’t break in in the middle of the night?”
  3111. >You ask as you point to the dilapidated garage door separating the two of you from the darkness outside.
  3112. >”It’s safe enough, I guess. Dan’s been living here alone for months, apparently.”
  3113. >Spike says with a shrug.
  3114. “Alone? But what about the crane? There has to be someone else here right?”
  3115. >Spike sighs and shakes his head disappointed.
  3116. >”I thought the same thing, big guy, but apparently it’s automated. When I asked Dan about it he said it was dangerous and we shouldn’t go near it, apparently something in the area attracts the Heartless.”
  3117. >”But enough about me, what happened to you, big guy, were you knocked out somewhere out there?”
  3118. “Actually, it’s kind of a long story.”
  3119. >You say as you launch into recounting the events at the Keyblade Graveyard.
  3120. “And then I kind of crashed into a stack of cars nearby and found myself here.”
  3121. >Spike stares at you, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he looks up from Sora’s letter that you handed him halfway through your story.
  3122. >”No way, you actually found a Keyblade? Dan says they’re the only thing that can beat the Heartless for good. That makes you like a hero or something!”
  3123. >Spike bounces around excitedly before dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
  3124. >”Do… do you think I could see it?”
  3125. >Spike asks, barely able to contain his enthusiasm.
  3126. >You nod and hold out a hand towards the grinning dragon when another jolt of pain shoots out from the bruise on your chest, banishing the motes of light that begun to coalesce in your hand.
  3127. “Maybe tomorrow, Spike, I’m kind of beat.”
  3128. >You say as you haul yourself to your feet and usher Spike out of the room.
  3129. >”Aww, but I wanted to see it now.”
  3130. >Spike groans but complies with your request as he heads down the hall to one of the stations storerooms.
  3131. >”Well, I’ll let you get some sleep, Anon. You can use any of the empty rooms to catch some shuteye. Night, big guy.”
  3132. “Goodnight, Spike”
  3133. >You call back through the door and sequester yourself in one of the other supply closets.
  3134. >As you scan the room, you discover a cot and a tattered old blanket nestled between a couple barren rows of shelves.
  3135. >Better than nothing, you think to yourself, as you pull out Twilight’s journal and take a seat on the end of the cot.
  3136. >As you flip through the first sections of Twilight’s research notes a passage about converting mana into raw electrical energy catches your attention.
  3137. >It tells you that, in its base form, electrical magic is wild and unpredictable, and that if a mage unleashes it without the proper controls in placem they’re likely to wind up starting random electrical fires around the room as a result of stray thunderbolts.
  3138. >The chapter reiterates what you’ve read in other magical texts in Twilight’s library, that all creatures carry an internal well of mana: utilizing it is simply a matter of finding the proper conduit to channel those inner reserves towards effecting change in the physical world.
  3139. >Twilight goes on to explain that, in the case of this lightning spell, she believes that pegasi may be able to cast this spell through the same conduit that lets them manipulate the weather.
  3140. >Too bad Twilight never managed to figure out a conduit that would work for you.
  3141. >Not for lack of trying though, trying to crack human spell casting was a favorite topic of hers for months, but eventually you connived her to call it quits due to lack of results.
  3142. >As you look over the theories involving channeling electrical magic, they seem relatively simple.
  3143. >You’re fairly confident that not only could you teach a unicorn how to cast the spell, you could cast the spell yourself if you weren’t so thaumaturgically challenged as a human.
  3144. >You flip to the section on spell-shaping and start reading up on the passage on bulwark constructs, but you feel your eyelids begin to droop before you manage to make much headway.
  3145. >The next thing you know you’re jolting upright out of the cot as someone bangs on the door to your supply closet.
  3146. >”WAKE UP, STRETCH, WE GOT A LONG DAY AHEAD OF US!”
  3147. >Dan shouts from the other side of the door.
  3148. >You groan as you rub the sleep from your eyes.
  3149. “Ughhh, I must have passed out reading the notes.”
  3150. >You grumble as you pocket Twilight’s journal and stagger out into the hall down towards the convenience store section of the station where you’re joined by Spike.
  3151. >”Okay listen up, here’s the plan.”
  3152. >Dan throws the two of you a couple cans of ravioli as he shares his escape plan.
  3153. >”According to /x/, in order to travel between worlds we need a vessel to carry us. Now the legends say when the walls between the worlds fell, a miraculous material rained down from the sky that the so called ‘Heroes’ of old used to construct the ships they needed to sail amongst the stars.”
  3154. >Dan then reaches under the counter behind the register and pulls up what looks like a colorful, simplified rocket engine and slams it down on the counter.
  3155. >”I can confirm that legend, because this stupid thing nearly knocked my block off falling out of the sky my first week here.”
  3156. >Dan says with a sneer as he punches the engine, only to have his hand bounce off its peculiarly malleable surface.
  3157. >”Now I’ve been able to find a couple more gummi blocks like this one: a few engines, a blaster or two, and the odd structural block, but nowhere near enough to build a whole ship.”
  3158. >He explains as he looks to the two of you.
  3159. >”And that’s where you two come in: between the three of us, we should be able to fend off any Heartless that come our way and find a suitable rig out there in The Heap that we can strap these engines onto to use as a vessel and get the hell off this shit heap.”
  3160. >Dan goes back behind the counter again and pulls out a large, conical lance, ringed by a set of thrusters near the haft of the weapon, and throws it to Spike.
  3161. >”I never could get that to work right without setting myself on fire, but it oughta work well enough for you Short Chris. Now, what do we want for Stretch?”
  3162. >Dan mumbles as he goes to rummage behind the counter again, before Spike cuts him off.
  3163. >”I think Anon’s more than covered, having a Keyblade and all.”
  3164. >Spike crosses his arms, bragging for you as Dan jolts upright behind the counter.
  3165. >”He has a what?”
  3166. >Dan says as his eye starts twitching.
  3167. >”Neither of you thought to tell me that Stretch here has a god damn Keyblade?!”
  3168. >Spike shrinks back a little as Dan jumps up on the counter, shouting at the two of you.
  3169. >You’ve had just about enough of this shrimp’s attitude, and you step up to the ranting midget.
  3170. “Look, it’s my bad, alright? I only just got it yesterday; I didn’t really know what I had on my hands till Spike told me about it last night.”
  3171. >Surprisingly, Dan’s rage peters out as you stand up to him and he sighs as he takes flops down to sit on the counter.
  3172. >”Honestly, I’m glad that you’ve got it. It’s just that the Keyblade is a double edged sword. We’re lucky we didn’t get attacked last night.”
  3173. >Dan pinches the bridge of his nose as he continues on.
  3174. >"The Heartless are supposedly scared shitless of the Keyblade and its wielder, because it's supposedly the only thing that can vanquish them for good.”
  3175. >Dan says pointing to you as he explains.
  3176. >”The flip side of that is that the Heartless are able to track the Keyblade, and will stop at nothing to destroy its master. You didn’t summon it in here, did you?”
  3177. >Dan asks you with a serious glare.
  3178. “I almost showed it to Spike last night, but the bruise you gave me with that wrench broke my concentration."
  3179. >”Well thank fuck I nearly broke your sternum then, because if I hadn’t this place would have been swarmed.”
  3180. >Spike swallows nervously and grips the haft of his new lance for comfort.
  3181. >”Despite the risks involved, the Keyblade still opens up a lot of new doors for us. If we use it to cut through the Heartless surrounding it, we might even be able to approach the crane; all the best stuff seems to end up there, somehow.”
  3182. >Dan says as he rubs his goatee contemplating the situation.
  3183. >”But then again, the crane isn’t exactly going anywhere; maybe we should just see what we can turn up out here where there are less Heartless. I found a couple decent vessel candidates in the area while I was here on my own. I just didn’t have any way to move them.”
  3184. >He looks at the two of you expectantly as you two stare back waiting for him to finish.
  3185. >”Come on, guys, you’re risking your lives too; don’t stand there like a couple of slack-jawed morons, give me some input here.
  3186.  
  3187. >Looks like the three of you are building some kind of ship. Where do you all want to go first?
  3188.  
  3189. “Well, if you know where some choice parts are, I don’t think there’s a need to go straight to the heart of enemy territory when we can find what we need elsewhere.”
  3190. >Dan nods and hops down off the counter, grabbing his wrench and his pack as he heads to the door.
  3191. >”Fair enough, Stretch, let’s get a move on.”
  3192. >He throws open the door and gestures for the two of you to follow him out before he bars the door behind you.
  3193. >The three of you trudge through The Heap silently for a while before you finally decide to break the quiet and ask Dan about a question that had been gnawing away at the back of your mind since the night before.
  3194. “So those legends you mentioned last night, did any of them mention someone named Sora, Riku, Mickey, or Xehanort?”
  3195. >Dan looks back at you confused as he climbs over a half-buried air conditioner that’s blocking your group’s path to higher ground.
  3196. >”Yeah, actually, Xehanort was supposedly the one who started the crisis that lead to the Keyblade war, and the other guys were three of the guardians of light that stopped the whole thing back then.”
  3197. >Dan says as he hops down and you and Spike follow him over.
  3198. >”But where did you hear those names, anyway? I thought this was the first time you’d heard of the Keyblade war.”
  3199. >Dan looks back at you suspiciously as the three of you continue to climb.
  3200. >You scratch your head unsure of how to reply.
  3201. “Well, according to a letter that was left with the Keyblade, I’m supposed to act as their fail-safe against this Xehanort guy’s final contingency plan.”
  3202. >You reply, still not really sure what exactly that entails.
  3203. >You can see the gears turning in Dan’s head before he finally replies.
  3204. >”Well, if that’s true, then that’s all the more reason to get off The Heap as fast as we can.”
  3205. >He says stone-faced as the three of you crest the hill and stand looking down on the valley below.
  3206. >You pull out the Wolf’s Tear and start scanning the valley, trying to familiarize yourself with the area.
  3207. >”What the hell are you doing?”
  3208. >Dan asks as he watches you pull a random gem out of your pocket and start staring at it intently in the middle of your expedition.
  3209. “Oh, uh, it’s apparently got some kind of spell on it that makes it work like a telescope.”
  3210. >You explain as you toss it to Dan so he can see for himself.
  3211. >”Far out, remind me about that when we get back, I think I can do something with that.”
  3212. >Dan throws the gem back to you before wheeling around and marching on around the edge of a nearby junk pile.
  3213. >”It should be just around this co- OH, SON OF A BITCH!”
  3214. >As you rush around the corner after the irate manlet, you’re greeted by the sight of what looks like it was once a relatively intact VW van crushed under a collapsed pile of mangled cars and strange yellow canisters with red glass gauges running along their length.
  3215. >”Man, that one would have been perfect; with a little work we could have probably rolled it straight down the hill back to the garage! Stupid junk!”
  3216. >Dan shouts as he kicks one of the stray canisters.
  3217. >As soon as he does, two things happen.
  3218. >First, Dan begins hopping around cursing as he clutches his foot, but you’re unable to hear the stream of profanity pouring from Dan’s mouth, because the second thing that happens is a nozzle at the top of the canister snaps off before Dan’s fury, and the most ghastly, eardrum-piercing wail you’ve ever heard in your life fills the air.
  3219. >As the cracked headlights on the buried van flicker, and the scream begins to peter out, the shadows being cast by the pile of wrecked cars begin to shift and slither, and five stunted, inky black figures rise up from the trash scattered around your feet.
  3220. >When you see them, you recall a flash of the same things rising up out of a stained glass platform in the middle of an infinite black void.
  3221. >”Heartless!”
  3222. >Dan shouts as he pulls his wrench out of a strap on his pack and prepares to fight.
  3223. >Spike brandishes his oversized lance, and you hold out your hand calling your Keyblade into existence with a flash of light as you sling the weapon over your shoulder.
  3224. >”We can take these guys, no pro-"
  3225. >Spike’s attempt to boost morale is cut short when a inky black warp in space surrounded by whisps of violet light bursts into existence in front of you and deposits something.
  3226. >It looks like a short, vaguely humanoid figure in a thick, yellow, rubber hazmat suit bearing a massive red and black heart-shaped crest on its chest.
  3227. >As it lifts its head to look at you, you can see rips torn haphazardly in its suit, the largest of which revealing a black face that would be entirely featureless, were it not for the zigzagging mouth and beady, glowing, yellow eyes.
  3228. “Another Heartless?”
  3229. >You ask Dan, as you tighten your grip on the Keyblade.
  3230. >”Don’t look at me! I’ve never seen one that looks like that before!”
  3231. >He shouts back as the squad of Heartless close in towards you.
  3232.  
  3233. >Party vs. Heartless squad.
  3234. >Shadows x5 HP:10
  3235. >Toxic Trooper HP: 20
  3236.  
  3237. “Either way, I don’t think it’s friendly.”
  3238. >You shout back as you grip your Keyblade and rush forward to engage the shambling, rubber-clad monstrosity.
  3239. >But as you do, you experience the same strange sensation you had when you first summoned your Keyblade the day before.
  3240. >A kind of inexplicable vigor that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end, almost as though you were overflowing with energy welling up from some previously untapped internal reserve.
  3241. >As you glance down at the Keyblade a thought dawns on you that seems almost too ludicrous to believe.
  3242. >The Keyblade couldn’t possibly be acting as a magical conduit for you.
  3243. >Could it?
  3244. >Well, there’s really only one way to find out, you think to yourself as you hold the Keyblade aloft.
  3245. >You think back to the instructions in Twilight’s notes, calling on this new reserve of energy and shout.
  3246. “Thunder!”
  3247. >The tip of the Keyblade glows a brilliant yellow in response as it emits a burst of electrical energy, followed immediately by a cascade of thunderbolts falling from the sky on the Heartless surrounding you.
  3248. >Two of the Shadows are too sluggish to try and avoid your spell, and are vaporized instantaneously before the fury of your high voltage assault.
  3249. >The third Shadow, however, is light enough on its feet to avoid the full brunt of you magical assault and escapes merely singed.
  3250. >The hazmat-suited Trooper manages to avoid a direct impact as well, but strangely he seems to mind the electrical shock even less than the nearby lucky shadow.
  3251. >And finally, as your electric fury draws to a close, a stray bolt crashes down, narrowly missing an errant canister on the battle field.
  3252. >You look at your Keyblade in awe before turning back to Spike with a look of wide-eyed wonder on your face.
  3253. “I’m ah wizard, Spike.”
  3254. >You say with a grin as the twitching, electrocuted Shadow pulls itself up off the ground and charges you.
  3255. >But it falls flat on its face, thanks to your spell's after effects.
  3256. >A second Shadow tries to leap at you from behind the Trooper, only to catch a foot on a tube protruding from the Trooper’s suit and go tumbling through the air, crashing into the electrocuted Shadow at your feet, leaving the two in a tangled heap of gangly, black limbs.
  3257. >The final surviving Shadow sinks into the ground and vanishes beneath the layer of refuse on the field.
  3258. >”You’re going to pay for what you did to my life!”
  3259. >Dan roars as he charges forward, wrench flailing wildly as he bares down on the Toxic Trooper.
  3260. >But in his rage, the wrench flies wide, missing the Heartless completely.
  3261. >”Yeah sure, yer a wizard, Anon, but can the wizard do this?”
  3262. >Spike asks with a grin as he looks up and sees that the tangled pile of Heartless have landed squarely in his path to the yellow, hazmat-suited Trooper.
  3263. >The little dragon braces himself as he twists the throttle on the lance’s shaft, sending both Spike and the lance flying forward.
  3264. >The mass of rusted steel and scales crashes through the first of the two entangled Heartless, tearing it to pieces in a wisp of smoke and shadow.
  3265. >But as Spike hits the second Shadow, the Heartless manages to deflect the blow with a freshly freed claw, and the resulting shock shakes Spike loose off the lance, sending it rocketing forward on its own.
  3266. >Fortunately, the stray lance crashes into the shambling Trooper, narrowly missing Dan as it sends the Heartless tumbling to the ground before running out of power and clattering to the ground behind it.
  3267. “Yeah, Spike, I think I could probably do that.”
  3268. >You say with a grin that is cut short by the Heartless hauling itself up off the ground and taking a swipe at Dan with a massive clawed hand that bursts free of its yellow rubber glove.
  3269. >The claw catches Dan in the ribcage, sending him stumbling back but fails to rip through his leather jacket.
  3270. >”Oh, you just earned a personal spot on the list, you yellow-eyed fuck.”
  3271. >Dan growls at the Heartless with hate in his eyes.
  3272.  
  3273. >Status
  3274. Anon HP: 31/31 MP 52/60
  3275. Spike HP: 37/37 MP 20/30
  3276. Dan HP: 21/30
  3277.  
  3278. Heartless
  3279. Shadows 1-3 REKT
  3280. Shadow 4 HP: 10/10
  3281. Shadow 5 HP: 10/10 status hidden
  3282. Toxic Trooper: HP 13/20
  3283.  
  3284. >You look at the canister half-buried in the trash at the feet of the shambling, rubber-suited monstrosity.
  3285. “Brace yourselves, boys, I’m gonna crack open one of these cans!”
  3286. >”YOU’RE WHAT?!”
  3287. >Dan turns and shouts back at you, but the spell has already left your lips.
  3288. “Thunder!”
  3289. >The keyblade glows as the magic answers your call and sends a bolt from the blue crashing down into the heavy yellow canister, blowing it apart like an egg in a microwave.
  3290. >What follows is a hail of shrapnel, accompanied by an earsplitting cacophony that sounds unsettlingly like a class full of shrieking children.
  3291. >The three of you just barely manage to avoid being hit by the flying shards of jagged metal as the shrapnel tears into the monster's suit, revealing more inky black flesh underneath.
  3292. >But the Trooper doesn’t seem to notice as the shrapnel tears into its body.
  3293. >In fact, when the screams wash over it, the wounds torn by the shrapnel seem to be closing up as its frame seems to swell until the yellow hazmat suit stretches taut against the rippling musculature.
  3294. >”Great job, Einstein! Now it’s jacked!”
  3295. >Dan grouses as he raises his wrench and knocks a Shadow sailing towards him back to the ground before white knuckling the heavy tool and kneecaping the bulky yellow Heartless, forcing it down to one knee as it roars in agony.
  3296. >”Yeah, you can’t bulk up a joint can you, you world eating fuck.”
  3297. >Dan sneers before pointing to the formerly hidden Shadow writhing on the ground.
  3298. >”Thought you could sneak up on me, huh? Well don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, you little shit.”
  3299. >Spike, meanwhile, manages to deftly avoid a swipe from his own Shadow before decking the bobbleheaded monstrosity with a solid punch.
  3300. >”Nice one, Dan!”
  3301. >Spike shouts as the Shadow staggers backwards away from the baby drake.
  3302. >But just as Dan turns to throw up the horns at the little dragon, the Heartless’ big gloved hand shoots out and grabs the angry little man.
  3303. >”Put me down, you beady-eyed fuck!”
  3304. >Dan thrashes and writhes to no avail as the Heartless pulls back its arm and tries to hurl Dan at Spike.
  3305. >Fortunately for Spike, while Dan is many things, aerodynamic is not one of them, and the little man clatters to the ground at the dragon’s feet.
  3306. >You reach down and help Dan to his feet.
  3307. “Uhh, sorry about that, he probably couldn’t have tossed you like that if I hadn’t roided him out.”
  3308. >”No shit, Sherlock.”
  3309. >Dan says through gritted teeth as he dusts himself off.
  3310. >“Ugh, whatever, let’s just send this fucker back to Hell where he belongs.”
  3311. >Dan snarls as the three of you square off ready for another round.
  3312.  
  3313. >Status
  3314. Anon HP: 31/31 MP 46/60
  3315. Spike HP: 37/37 MP 20/30
  3316. Dan HP: 16/30
  3317.  
  3318. Heartless
  3319. Shadow 4 HP: 3/10
  3320. Shadow 5 HP: 10/10
  3321. Toxic Trooper: HP 11/30
  3322.  
  3323. “Heads up, Dan!”
  3324. >You shout as you jostle him aside, giving you a clear shot at the Shadow wriggling on the ground, trying to flip itself upright again.
  3325. “Not today, punk.”
  3326. >You say in your best Dirty Harry growl, as you kick the Shadow up into the air like a hacky sack.
  3327. “Say hi to the fans in the cheap seats for me!”
  3328. >Your Keyblade glows, and a rush of energy flows through you as your weapon connects with the Heartless’s bulbous head.
  3329. >A loud crack rings out in the junkyard like a gunshot as the little Heartless hurtles through the air and scores a direct hit to the center mass of the hulking, rubber-suited monstrosity.
  3330. >The Shadow explodes on contact in a burst of smoke as the Toxic Trooper staggers back, bracing itself with its oversized clawed hand.
  3331. >As its comrade explodes, the last Shadow's eyes flash as it leaps at Spike, determined to bring the little dragon down.
  3332. >Its claws hit home, but instead of dodging, the little dragon takes it in the chest and grabs the Shadow by its limp, spindly wrist.
  3333. >”You aren’t getting away from me that easily.”
  3334. >Spike growls as the claws dig into his scales, and in response he draws back his fist and caves in the Heartless’s head.
  3335. >”Just one to go!”
  3336. >Spike shouts as he looks to Dan squaring off with the Toxic Trooper.
  3337. >”He’s all mine.”
  3338. >Dan snarls, venom dripping from his voice, as he clenches his wrench with both hands and sends the lump of metal crashing into the Heartless’s exposed face.
  3339. >The force of the blow sends the staggered monster crashing to the ground, where it shakes and seizes for a few seconds, before its body is consumed from within by a brilliant light that bursts out and flies off into the sky as the Heartless vanishes.
  3340. “What the hell was that?”
  3341. >You ask, pointing to the patch of sky that the light vanished into, and Dan shrugs in response.
  3342. >”Beats me, never seen them do that before.”
  3343. >He says nonchalantly as he walks around the pile to the exposed back of the van, the hate in his voice gone as quickly as it had come.
  3344. >”Now, let’s see if this climb is going to be a total wash.”
  3345. >Dan grunts as he pries open the engine compartment.
  3346. >”AHA! PERFECT!”
  3347. >He shouts as he reaches in and fiddles with the inner workings of the van before he pulls out a complicated looking piece of machinery.
  3348. >”Gentlemen, we’ve found our power supply.”
  3349. >He says with a grin as he slips the power plant into his pack and grabs one of the heavy yellow canister scattered around the clearing.
  3350. >”Grab a canister, we’ll drop 'em off as we pass the garage on the way to the next site.”
  3351. >He grunts as the two of you pick up canisters of your own and follow him down the hill back to the station.
  3352. >One uneventful trip later, and the three of you are stacking your fresh swag in a corner at the back of the garage.
  3353. >”Okay, so we’ve got a couple more places we can try before we need to resort to the crane.”
  3354. >Dan says as he pulls out a rough, hand drawn map.
  3355. >”We have an option to the East and the South of here.”
  3356. >Dan says as he points to a couple of crude drawings nearby what looks to be the gas station.
  3357. >”Now, I recommend we hit the one to the South: it’s a little bit more of a walk, but the spot in the east is the closest to the crane, so we might see heavier Heartless activity there than usual.”
  3358. >Dan rubs his goatee in thought as he looks at the map.
  3359. >”Any thoughts, guys?”
  3360.  
  3361. >Where do you want to head next? Feel free to ask questions of Dan before making a choice.
  3362.  
  3363. (Obtained Scream Power Plant & Scream Canisters)
  3364.  
  3365. >Dan grabs a bottle of aspirin off of a nearby shelf and pops a couple tabs while you try and make up your mind.
  3366. “Well, if we go to the South, maybe the Keyblade will draw some Heartless away from the crane, then we can take them out while the odds are a little more even.”
  3367. >You say as you tap the Southern circle on the map and Dan nods in agreement.
  3368. >”Not a bad plan, Stretch, if we’re going to do it, though, we need to hustle. The longer we take between hitting these points and heading for the crane, the more time the Heartless have to regroup.”
  3369. >It already looks like Dan is feeling less bothered by the hits he took in the earlier scrap as he turns to head back out into the heap.
  3370. “Wait, before we go, what did you have in mind for this?”
  3371. >You ask as you pull out the Wolf’s Tear and set it down on the map.
  3372. >”I’m not even sure if I have the parts for it here, but I think I might be able to rig up some kind of hands-free scope for you."
  3373. >Dan scratches his head, running through a mental inventory of what he has on hand, before waving his hands and dismissing the idea.
  3374. >”Like I said though, time isn’t on our side. I’ll look into building it when we get everything we need to escape from this sub-Detroit hell hole.”
  3375. >You and Spike nod in agreement and follow Dan back out into the wasteland.
  3376. >The three of you make your way further South between stacks of rusted automotive frames that seem to go on for miles in either direction.
  3377. >And, as you walk, a thought occurs to you.
  3378. “Hey, Dan, I’ve been wondering: how did you survive the end of your world?”
  3379. >You ask as the three of you squeeze through a particularly narrow passage and out into a clearing beyond.
  3380. >”Probably the same way you did, I got lucky. Or maybe I was just stubborn.”
  3381. >Dan grunts tersely as he shields his eyes from the harsh sun as it climbs further into the sky.
  3382. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, I get it.”
  3383. >You say easing back off the topic.
  3384. >A few more minutes pass in silence before Dan finally sighs and speaks again.
  3385. >”Look, it’s not exactly a complicated story. When I saw the signs I turned my apartment into a panic room. I tried to get Chris and Elise to do the same at their place, or at least join me, but Elise convinced Chris this was me being crazy again and I couldn’t get them to come.”
  3386. >You and Spike can’t see it from your place in the marching order but Dan grimaces as he processes that thought.
  3387. >”They’re dead now, for all I know.”
  3388. >Dan manages to spit the words out through clenched teeth.
  3389. >”Anyway, in the end all my planning didn’t do me any good. When it all went down, I was down at the Burgerphile when the sky went black and there was this crazy light filling the sky over the city.”
  3390. >”Before I knew it, the restaurant had been torn out of the ground and was being sucked up towards the light. The next thing I remember is being alone in the torn off front half of the Burgerphile perched precariously on a mountain of junk."
  3391. >Dan says as he waves his arms at the piles of garbage around him to illustrate his point.
  3392. >”It’s been months since then, and I’ve spent every day trying to escape this place.”
  3393. >Dan’s fist clenches as he finishes and you open your mouth to try and apologize.
  3394. “Look…”
  3395. >But Dan cuts you off.
  3396. >”I’m the one who decided to share, and it wasn’t for your damn sympathy. As the only known member of the Keyblade’s chosen, you need to know the stakes.”
  3397. >Dan says coldly as he points towards your destination.
  3398. >”This next spot has something that I honestly could have carried back by myself any time. The problem is actually getting it.”
  3399. >Dan becomes increasingly animated as he explains.
  3400. >”See, I think this is the bridge of some destroyed ship, and I think we can use the navigation system for our ticket out of this dump."
  3401. >The little man turns to face the two of you as he continues along backwards through the trash.
  3402. >”This is where you two come in: I need you to keep them off me so I can grab what we need and get them out of here. Think you can handle it?”
  3403. >”Between the two of us, we can handle whatever this place throws at us.”
  3404. >Spike says with a confident grin as he thumps himself on the chest; you simply nod in agreement with the little dragon.
  3405.  
  3406. >The three of you arrive at the end of the clearing, which terminates in a huge trash wall.
  3407. >At the base of this wall sits an unusual alcove.
  3408. >One made of what was once shining plastics, plexiglass, and steel now covered with layers of grime.
  3409. >The trash-covered floor of the canyon gives way to a smooth, even floor tilted back at an angle, leading back to a lifeless console array lining a long, wide window.
  3410. >And, while the window may have once offered a stunning view of the stars, all it displays now is the wall of trash that this structure is buried within.
  3411. >Half of the ruined bridge’s celling is still intact and, right at the edge of the ship’s snapped superstructure, there’s a cylindrical shape protruding from the otherwise uniform surface.
  3412. >By the window, you can see what must be a faded diagram of the ship back when it was whole.
  3413. >At the top you can just barely make out the word AXIOM at the top of the plaque.
  3414. “So what do we do? Just pick a fight with the Heartless?”
  3415. >You ask as you survey the destroyed bridge.
  3416. >”Well, you could do that, but those fuckers are going to come anyway once I trip the system.”
  3417. >Dan says as he removes his pack and pulls out his tools.
  3418. >”So, what I recommend is that you two come up with some preemptive countermeasures before we kick this off.”
  3419. >As he says this Dan slides you a spare tool kit to work with.
  3420.  
  3421. >Any countermeasures you want to set up, or are you ready for Dan to get to work now?
  3422.  
  3423. >You and Spike get to work trying to erect what fortifications you can with the supplies on hand.
  3424. >”Do you think we’ll really be able to do anything with all this junk?”
  3425. >Spike asks as the two of you sift through the refuse.
  3426. “Well, we won’t know 'til we look.”
  3427. >And while you force yourself to sound optimistic when you reply to the little dragon, secretly you share his misgivings.
  3428. >Or at least you do, until you begin to discover all kinds of high technology scattered around the clearing.
  3429. >Looks like picking a fight near a crashed spaceship has its advantages.
  3430. >When everything is said and done, you uncover several quick discharge capacitors out in the wreckage along with a few chunks of hull that could be used to erect barricades or other forms of cover.
  3431. >You also find plenty of high strength cable that could be used for tripwires or snares.
  3432. >Finally, you also find what looks to be a cracked fuel cell that you think would probably explode pretty good, if you can figure out a way to overload it.
  3433. >You lay what you’ve managed to gather at the edge of the ruined bridge, and the two of you get to work assembling your defenses.
  3434. >You leave the fuel cell halfway down the clearing after covering it with chunks of scrap metal.
  3435. >”Is this like a camouflage thing?”
  3436. >Spike asks, as the two of you return to the bridge for more supplies.
  3437. “Partly, mostly it’s to add some shrapnel to the mix when we set that puppy off.”
  3438. >You reply as you drive one of the cable-wrapped capacitors into the ground.
  3439. >Spike grins as he drives his anchor into the ground and the two of you tie off the cable.
  3440. >After repeating the process a few more times, the two of you finally get around to setting up barricades at the entrance to the bridge.
  3441. >When the two of you are satisfied that your makeshift wall will be able to keep the Heartless at bay, you turn to Dan.
  3442. “I think we’re about as ready as we’re going to get, let’s get this show on the road!”
  3443. >You call to the back of the bridge as you draw your Keyblade and Spike drums his claws on the haft of his lance.
  3444. >”Brace yourselves, boys, shit’s about to get nuts!”
  3445. >Dan shouts back as he yanks a panel off the side of the command console.
  3446. >As soon as he does, you hear an emergency power source hum to life and the instrument panel begins to flicker.
  3447. >Unfortunately, the flickering displays and computer readouts are accompanied by a hiss as a pneumatic panel opens in the protrusion on the ceiling.
  3448. >What emerges from the hatch looks like a mechanical ship’s steering wheel covered in a cracked and yellowing plastic coating, with a glowing red eye in the center.
  3449. >It slowly scans the room and freezes when it sees you and Spike.
  3450. >The glowing red eye flickers as the wheel starts to speak.
  3451. >At first, the voice filling the room seizes up as the decayed speakers pop and strain to accommodate the unexpected demand, but when they finally kick in, the machine’s voice is surprisingly deep.
  3452. [IIIIIIIINTRUDER DETECTED… ACTIVATE COUNTER MEASURES…]
  3453. >There’s a lot of popping and sputtering as the counter measures on what remains of the Axiom try and fail to come on line.
  3454. >”Looks like this might be easier than we thought.”
  3455. >Spike says with a grin as the wheel spins near the ceiling unable to do so much as it comes lower and tries to swat at you on its rusted railing.
  3456. >The wheel turns to you and you can briefly see the same symbol that adorned the chest of the hazmat-suited Heartless in the emotionless, mechanical eye as it speaks again.
  3457. [COUNTERMEASURES INOPERATIVE… ACTIVATE DISTRESS BEACON.]
  3458. >As it finishes speaking, you hear the sound of space bending that typically accompanies a Heartless popping into exisistance.
  3459. >You turn to look out past the barricade, and you see not just a Heartless, but 10.
  3460. >You can see four Heartless you’ve never seen before, dark blue with sharp maroon claws and a silver, almost comically ill-fitting, helmet with a crooked, spiraling antenna hiding a pitch-black face with glowing yellow eyes.
  3461. >These four inept looking Soldiers are soon followed by four familiar Shadows pulling themselves up out of the trash, but they aren’t the last to appear.
  3462. >The final thing that you witness is a pair of shining, ovoid shapes pulling themselves up out of the trash.
  3463. >At first, they look like something off an Apple assembly line, gleaming white, and perfect, but as you look closer, you can see the cracks running through their surface.
  3464. >The second one even has a huge hole smashed clean through the bottom of its egg-like frame, leaving its inner workings exposed.
  3465. >A hiss of smoke issues from the top of these machines as a pair of arms and a head begin to float separate from their bodies.
  3466. >A Heartless crest lights up on the front of what passes for the chest of these derelict robots, and you can finally see their cracked faceplates flicker to life displaying a pair of lifeless yellow eyes.
  3467. “You just had to open your mouth, didn’t you, Spike?”
  3468.  
  3469. >Party vs. Heartless Tide
  3470. Wave 1
  3471. Shadows x4 10 HP
  3472. Soldiers X4 15 HP
  3473. Enemy Vanguard Executioner X2 25 HP
  3474.  
  3475. AUTO: HP 50 (out of range)
  3476.  
  3477. “Hold down the fort, Spike!”
  3478. >You shout before the Heartless have a chance to reac,t as you dart out past the barrier and over the final tripwire, as you put the Keyblade to work activating your countermeasures.
  3479. “Get ready to ride the lightning!”
  3480. >You shout as you use your newfound mystical connection to call down bolts of electricity from the heavens.
  3481. >You barely manage to dodge a stray arc of electricity from a nearby capacitor as it hums to life and your tripwires begin to buzz with your high voltage fury.
  3482. >One of the two hovering robot Heartless isn’t nearly so lucky as electricity arcs from a nearby capacitor and strikes its center mass, causing its crest to flicker momentarily as the Heartless flails in midair.
  3483. >As sparks fly from the short circuiting EVE unit, the four Heartless submerge beneath the trash of the battlefield and disappear.
  3484. >Two of them, however, reappear again in short order as they crash into your tripwire’s capacitors, flinging one of them from the ground and back into full material form, both smoking slightly from their high voltage encounter.
  3485. >The second Shadow is unlucky enough to get itself wedged between two capacitors at once and explodes in a puff of black smoke as the trap destroys it entirely.
  3486. >As the Soldiers see one of their companions vaporized, they rush you from all sides.
  3487. >The two on the left both manage to hop over the first tripwire, but crash directly into the second one, sending the pair into convulsions.
  3488. >But that isn’t enough to stop one of them from picking itself up off the ground and flinging itself at you in a flying kick.
  3489. >Unfortunately for this poor Soldier, you manage to deftly sidestep the attack and it sails into a second tripwire, electrocuting it a second time.
  3490. >The Soldiers on the right do much better: one is held up by the outermost tripwire, but the second deftly leaps over every trap in its path before launching a flying kick of its own your way.
  3491. >But you’re ready for it and sidestep this attack as easily as you did the first.
  3492. >Regrettably, there isn’t an electrified power cable ready to catch this Heartless.
  3493. >”Hold 'em off as long as you can, boys, use this if you need it!”
  3494. >Dan shouts as he tosses a bottle of aspirin over his shoulder at Spike before continuing his work.
  3495. >Meanwhile, the two robotic Heartless take aim at you as each of their right arms transforms into some kind of plasma cannon.
  3496. >The EVE you managed to electrocute earlier is the first to act as it charges up its cannon and fires a single massive bolt of energy your way.
  3497. >The electrical charge slams you center mass with enough force to nearly send you stumbling back into your own tripwire, but you manage to barely maintain your balance at the last second.
  3498. >The second Heartless machine fires a salvo of three smaller bolts your way, but the shots go wide and impact harmlessly against the barrier behind you.
  3499. >As soon as Spike sees you stumble, he runs up to one of the chokepoints in your perimeter and brandishes his lance, ready to charge.
  3500. >”Just say the word, and I’m all over ‘em, big guy!”
  3501. >The baby dragon growls ready to come to your defense, as the two of you prepare for the next clash with this battalion of Heartless.
  3502. >As you square off, you can hear the strained bass voice of the ship’s wheel in the background.
  3503. [-ERVES FAILING… PRIORITY ONE ORDER… ELIMINATE INTRUDERS…]
  3504.  
  3505. >Party vs. Heartless Tide
  3506. Anon: HP 24/31 MP 52
  3507. Spike: HP 37/37 MP 30
  3508.  
  3509. wave 1
  3510. Shadow 1 : vaporized
  3511. Shadow 2: 4 HP
  3512. Shadow 3: 10 HP (Submerged)
  3513. Shadow 4: 10 HP (Submerged)
  3514. Soldier 1: 11 HP
  3515. Soldier 2: 12 HP
  3516. Soldier 3: 15 HP
  3517. Soldier 4: 9 HP
  3518. EVE 1 25/25 HP
  3519. EVE 2 18/25 HP
  3520.  
  3521. AUTO: HP 39 (Out of range)
  3522.  
  3523. >Gained aspirin: 20 charges, can only use up to twice per day per character, otherwise works as potion.
  3524.  
  3525. >You realize that being trapped between a pair of Heartless and a live power line probably isn’t the best place in the world to be.
  3526. >Maybe charging out alone was a bad idea.
  3527. >Nahhhhh. No risk, no reward right? You think to yourself as you raise the Mysterious Stranger above your head.
  3528. “Let’s keep this party high energy!”
  3529. >You shout as the tip of your Keyblade glows a brilliant yellow once more and lightning crashes down all around you.
  3530. >The floating gun turret that just blasted you in the chest takes the worst of it, as a bolt of lightning catches it in midair.
  3531. >The Heartless convulses before crashing to the ground, the black screen depicting its eyes reduced to a softly crackling field of static.
  3532. >Three of the four Soldiers are also caught in the salvo of electric judgment, and the one to your right explodes in a shower of sparks.
  3533. >To your surprise, a glowing red light emerges from the smoking remains and floats off into the distance, just as it did with the hazmat Heartless.
  3534. >Luckily for you, in the smoking space where the Heartless once stood, there’s now a brand new escape route for you to capitalize on.
  3535. “Anon family secret technique, go!”
  3536. >You shout as you hop over the electrified wire.
  3537. >The remaining nearby Soldier takes a swipe at you as you flee, but you manage to duck around him and take cover at the second chokepoint.
  3538. >As you lean up against the barricade, you look up at the ship’s AI hanging suspended from the ceiling.
  3539. “Hey, why are you even bothering with burning up what little power you have left on this?”
  3540. >You shout up at the wheel as a pair of Shadows leap into the air, slashing at the space where you used to be standing.
  3541. >’Used to be’ being the operative phrase, as the two shadows sail through the empty space and crash into the waiting tripwire, leaving them twitching in the trash.
  3542. >The third Shadow at the far end of the field trips as it tries to leap over the tripwires separating it from the rest of its compatriots.
  3543. >It’s bulbous head smacks directly into the live wire it was trying to hop over, and the Shadow convulses before the direct current flowing through the line directs it straight out of existence.
  3544. >The wheel rotates slightly to the right, giving the impression of a dog cocking its head in confusion as its glowing singular eye fixates on you.
  3545. [YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL. UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ARE NOT PERMITED ON THE BRIDGE.]
  3546. >The AI responds as though that should be obvious.
  3547. “What bridge? It’s been blown in half!”
  3548. >You shout as you wave a hand at the trash field outside.
  3549. “The Axiom is dead, and you’re living on its death throes! If you don’t believe me, just check your sensors!”
  3550. >You shout pointing an accusatorial finger at the AI as the Solder that tried to take a chunk out of you earlier hops over the tripwire and tries to take a swipe at you.
  3551. >Unfortunately for it, you’re more than ready for it as you block its attack with your Keyblade, forcing its claws to clatter harmlessly off your weapon.
  3552. [INSUFFICIENT DATA, HABITAT SENSORS INOPERATIVE.]
  3553. “Whatever mission those protocols were meant to preserve has failed, whatever people they were meant to protect are gone!”
  3554. >You punctuate your speech with a swipe of your hand as a second Soldier clatters up beside you and launches a spinning kick as you’re distracted by shouting at the AI.
  3555. >You gasp for air as the foot collides with your stomach, knocking the wind out of you, but the padding of Rarity’s jacket softens the blow.
  3556. >The AI has no response for you this time; it simply sits there, its eye flickering, and its wheel spinning back and forth as it thinks.
  3557. >Meanwhile, a third Soldier tires to amble towards Spike, but its herky-jerky gait leads to it catching a foot on a tripwire.
  3558. >The resulting high voltage discharge sends it flying back where it bursts, releasing a crimson light of its own into the sky.
  3559. >”Look, I know you guys are trying to reason with the robot trying to kill us and all, but can you keep it down? This shit is harder than it looks!”
  3560. >As Dan finishes shouting, the mostly fried EVE unit reboots, the silhouette of an Apple flashing on its screen before the black field with flowing yellow eyes snaps back into place.
  3561. >It levels its blaster at you, but its arm spasms as it fires, sending the bolt of electricity flying harmlessly wide.
  3562. >The second EVE’s eyes flicker out and are momentarily replaced by a red crosshair symbol as it effortlessly locks on to you and Spike, sending a rapid fire salvo of shots towards the two of you.
  3563. >The first shot impacts your shoulder, sending a tingling numbness racing down your arm as you struggle to move it.
  3564. >The second two shots wash across Spike, the sudden electrical shocks sending the dragon down to one knee as he braces himself with his lance.
  3565. >”Is that all you got?”
  3566. >Spike grunts through gritted teeth as he pulls himself to his feet.
  3567. >”GRAAAAAHHHHHH!”
  3568. >Spike roars wordlessly as he hefts his lance over his head and brings it crashing down on the Shadow twitching at his feet.
  3569. >A wisp of smoke billowing out from beneath the spire of rusty metal as the Shadow dissipates and Spike pulls the lance back into a ready stance.
  3570. >”You doing okay over there, big guy?”
  3571. >The little dragon calls around the barricade to you as you clutch your side.
  3572. >The AI looks at you and breaks its silence.
  3573. [IF THE SHIP’S INHABITANTS ARE MISSING, THEY MUST BE LOCATED.]
  3574. >You take a deep breath through the pain and grin as you stare back at the AI.
  3575. “Better than I thought I was, Spike.”
  3576.  
  3577. >Party vs. Heartless Tide
  3578. Anon: HP 16/31 MP 46
  3579. Spike: HP 27/37 MP 30
  3580.  
  3581. Wave 1
  3582. Shadow 2: Edisoned
  3583. Shadow 3: 5 HP
  3584. Shadow 4: 5 HP
  3585. Soldier 1: 11 HP
  3586. Soldier 2: All tripped up
  3587. Soldier 3: 5 HP
  3588. Soldier 4: Thunderstuck
  3589. EVE 1 25/25 HP
  3590. EVE 2 2/25 HP
  3591. AUTO HP 24 (out of range)
  3592.  
  3593. >Your grin quickly fades, as you turn around and see what looks like every Heartless left on the field looking your way, ready to collectively tear you a new asshole.
  3594. “On second thought, I could really use some fire support here, little guy!”
  3595. >You shout to the little dragon as you brandish your Keyblade, ready to try and make your last stand against the Heartless converging on you, knowing Spike won’t be able to reach you in time.
  3596. >”Don’t sweat it, I got your back, big guy!
  3597. >You hear Spike shout back to you as Spike digs deep and darts out around the Shadow trying to pin him into your makeshift base.
  3598. >”You aren’t touching my friends on my watch!”
  3599. >Spike roars as he twists the throttle on his dented wreck of a lance and the thrusters blaze to life, wreathing the dragon in flame.
  3600. >The dragon’s battle cry is drowned out by the roar of the engines as he shoots forward into the row of Heartless trying to bum-rush you.
  3601. >You blink in shock as Spike shoots across your field of vision, his heavy lance smashing through the Shadows with ease and knocking the Soldier before you into the ground, where the roaring backwash of the lance toasts the Heartless, finishing it off.
  3602. >Spike skids to a halt, leaving a trail of cinders in his wake before turning to face you, sporting a cocky grin.
  3603. >The little dragon wipes his face and laughs as he props the oversized lance up on his shoulder.
  3604. >”Like I said before, let’s see the wizard do that.”
  3605. “I stand corrected, I guess you really can bring the heat, little guy.”
  3606. >You say with a congratulatory smile, while internally you try to figure out a way you can pull that off with magic.
  3607. “But can you do this?”
  3608. >You fire back at the little dragon as you pump energy into your keyblade and whirl around on the last Soldier catching it off guard.
  3609. >The Keyblade slams into the back of its helmet, caving it in as you channel the spirit of the Great Bambino, sending the soldier hurtling through the air like a ballistic missile.
  3610. >”Yeah, yeah, I already saw you do this earlier today.”
  3611. >Spike says, clearly unimpressed with your wicked homerun prowess, but you hold up a finger to cut him off.
  3612. “Just watch, I’m not done yet.”
  3613. >As you finish speaking, the Soldier crashes into the damaged EVE unit, pointy helmet first.
  3614. >The improvised missile pierces straight through the jagged Heartless crest on its chassis and the robot smokes for a second before exploding in a shower of sparks.
  3615. “See, this home run comes complete with celebratory fireworks.”
  3616. >You say with a grin before turning back to face the ship’s AI.
  3617. “And don’t go thinking I’ve forgotten about you.”
  3618. >You say as you point the Keyblade at the AI’s housing.
  3619. “You’re looking at the only living things on this shithole Detroit forgot, so if the Axiom's inhabitants are alive, they sure as shit ain't here. The Axiom is going nowhere in a hurry so that’s out as a means of leaving this world and locating them. Without assistance, the only option left for you to do is fail your mission as you wait for the last of your emergency power cells to die.”
  3620. >As you mention the power the lights at the command console flicker as the AI’s glowing red eye momentarily dims.
  3621. “And by the looks of things, that’s going to be sooner rather than later.”
  3622. >The wheel rotates back and forth as the AI’s glowing, emotionless eye stares down at you.
  3623. “We need a navigation system, and you need a ship and a crew. So I have a proposal for you: register my friends and I as crew and accept one of us your acting captain. If you do that, we’ll hook you up with a new ship to navigate and we can all get off this heap."
  3624. >”Guys, you really might want to keep your head in the game!”
  3625. >Dan shouts back to you as AUTO silently contemplates your terms.
  3626. >”I don’t think he’s going for it!”
  3627. >Spike calls from behind you as the last EVE unit’s blaster hums to life, preparing for another salvo as you stare down the emotionless machine.
  3628. “It’s either that, or you fail your mission, and we leave you to rust here till this world’s star goes out.”
  3629. >You say, your voice cold as you refuse to give an inch.
  3630. >Seconds seem to stretch into hours before the robot finally speaks.
  3631. [YOUR TERMS ARE ACCEPTED, CAPTAIN.]
  3632. >You can hear the buzz of the blaster behind you die as the final EVE unit shakes in the air before exploding raining down chunks of smoldering metal on the field of trash.
  3633. >”Jeeze, you could have just shut it down.”
  3634. [NEGATIVE COMMANDER. UNIT WAS UNRESPONSIVE TO SHUTDOWN COMMANDS. ACTIVATING THE UNIT’S SELF DESTRUCT WAS THE ONLY VIABLE MEANS OF CEASING HOSTILITIES.]
  3635. >The wheel responds to Spike’s stray comment as it descends down to eye level for the first time, the worn armature supporting it straining to extend to its full length.
  3636. [AUTOPILOT REPORTING FOR DUTY. REQUEST PERMISSION TO ENTER STASIS AND PREPARE FOR TRANSPORTATION, CAPTAIN.]
  3637. >”Hold on, how come Anon gets to be captain? I have seniority on this shithole!”
  3638. >Dan shouts angrily as he marches up to the wheel that, until a few seconds ago, was trying to kill him.
  3639. [THE CAPTAIN LEAD YOUR UNIT INTO BATTLE, WHILE THE CHIEF ENGINEER ATTENDED TO THE TECHNICAL NECESSITIES OF THE MISSION. THE CAPTAIN IS MOST FIT TO BE CAPTAIN. THE CHIEF ENGINEER IS MOST FIT TO BE CHIEF ENGINEER.]
  3640. >The AI says in the same way that one might say the sky is blue before turning back to you.
  3641. [REPEAT REQUEST, CAPTAIN.]
  3642. >The AI is waiting expectantly but something doesn’t quite seem right. It may have told you it’s the Autopilot but you still don’t feel as though you’ve been introduced.
  3643. “Autopilot is kind of a mouthful, is there another designation we can use for you?”
  3644. >You ask as you try to get a handle on how to refer to your new crew member.
  3645. >The AI’s wheel begins to spin in random directions again as it considers how to respond.
  3646. [ALL PREVIOUS CAPTAINS OF THE AXIOM DESIGNATED THIS UNIT AS OTTO.]
  3647. “Very well, permission granted, Otto.”
  3648. [AYE AYE, SIR]
  3649. >Otto’s eye flickers rapidly for a few seconds and then finally goes dark.
  3650. >For a moment you’re afraid that you took too long, and the AI’s power cells died as you stood there talking to it.
  3651. >Then there’s a pop and a hiss as Otto’s eye is ejected from the yellowing, cracked housing of his wheel.
  3652. >Behind the once glowing red eye there’s a sturdy semitransparent cylinder revealing a glimmering processer the likes of which you’ve never seen before.
  3653. >You can only assume that the object you’re now holding in your hand is Otto’s brain.
  3654. “Well, Dan, I guess you have all the time you need to pull out the navigation system now.”
  3655. >You carefully tuck the AI’s core into your jacket pocket where it will hopefully be safe from harm.
  3656. >”You sure it’s a good idea to keep that thing, Stretch? When has dealing with an AI ever been a good thing? Remember Hal, Skynet, the Matrix? All monsters with one thing in common: robots.”
  3657. >Dan says as he points to the lump in your jacket.
  3658. >”We ought to just smash the thing right now and be done with it.”
  3659. >Dan brandishes his wrench in an attempt to drive the point home.
  3660. “Relax, Dan, it’s just a computer acting according to protocol. The only thing Otto is guilty of is doing what humans like us told it to. I doubt it’s even capable of malice. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to hook it up to life support or anything.”
  3661. >You say as you try to persuade Dan that Hollywood is not real life.
  3662. “Otto is essentially a glorified garmin, what’s the worst he can do to us?”
  3663. >Dan lowers his wrench and weighs the risks and benefits of incorporating the AI into your merry little group.
  3664. >”UGH, fine, but if he so much as directs us down a wrong turn at Albuquerque I’m smashing him!”
  3665. >Dan says before he returns to the instrument panel and continues hauling out the parts you all will need for your ship.
  3666. >With the pressure off, Dan takes extra time to procure parts to support Otto and upgrade your ship with a few extra bells and whistles.
  3667. >You and Spike try and ask what those bells and whistles are, but every time you try and peek, he swats at you with his tools and insists that its a surprise.
  3668. >By the time Dan completes his work it’s already late afternoon, and the shadows cast by the rows of stacked cars at the end of the clearing have completely enveloped the remains of the Axiom.
  3669. >”Well, I think this well has just about run dry.”
  3670. >Dan says as he stands up from the gutted console with a pack full of navigational hardware.
  3671. >You and Spike get up from the tic-tac-toe board you've scratched in the floor of the Axiom and turn to follow Dan out.
  3672. >As the three of you leave the remains of the ship, Dan asks you a question.
  3673. >”Do you boys feel like calling it for the day, or do you want to press on to the last site? “
  3674. >You and Spike exchange a glance: the two of you are a little banged up from that fight, but you figure you’d probably be able to soldier on through one more battle.
  3675. >Especially if it meant getting the last thing you all need to get off this rock, a vessel to install all this new loot in.
  3676. >Then again, it might be best to take the time to brush up on some more magic skills and hit it in the morning, freshly armed with new toys.
  3677.  
  3678. >Back to base, or off to the Eastern zone?
  3679.  
  3680. >You and Spike are a little roughed up after that last fight, maybe you should call it quits for the day.
  3681. >You know what? On second thought, fuck that.
  3682. “Spike, hit me with that bottle of aspirin.”
  3683. >You hold out a hand to the little dragon who promptly deposits the mostly empty bottle of pills in your outstretched palm with a slight rattle.
  3684. “How quick can we get to the last site?”
  3685. >You ask Dan as you pop open the bottle and shake a pill into your hand before gulping it down dry.
  3686. >Dan slows down for a second as he thinks about the answer to your question.
  3687. >”Well, if we go back to the station and drop off our loot it’ll take a couple of hours.”
  3688. >Spike groans at the revelation, and you can’t help but wonder if that’ll cut it too close for comfort with the approaching nightfall.
  3689. >”But, if we go straight there from here, we can probably be there in like twenty minutes.”
  3690. >Dan ignores Spike’s grousing as he finishes his thought and points off to the Northeast through the rows of ruined cars.
  3691. “Well then, what are we waiting for? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out of here right?”
  3692. >You ask as you peel off down the alternate path.
  3693. >Dan readjusts his pack before shrugging and following you down the path.
  3694. >”You know what, fuck it. I can carry this shit for a little while longer.”
  3695. >Dan says with a sigh as he and Spike join you on the path to your next and hopefully final acquisition.
  3696. >Shortly after, Dan resumes his place leading the three of you through the labyrinthine stacks of rusted metal, the weight of Otto’s core in your pocket prompts a rather unpleasant thought.
  3697. >What if you come from that world, and the wreckage of the Axiom is proof that it’s already dead?
  3698. “Say, Dan, do you know anything about where that ship we just looted came from?”
  3699. >”Why the hell would I?”
  3700. >The irritation is plain in Dan’s voice as he replies.
  3701. >”The only thing I know is that it has the aesthetic of a Steve Jobs wet dream."
  3702. >"That, and every time I’d try and salvage parts from it, a goddamn homicidal steering wheel would drop out of the ceiling and sic a squad of Heartless on me.”
  3703. >”You know, the same killer robot you decided to get all buddy buddy with 'Captain'?”
  3704. >Dan’s voice drips with sarcasm as he makes air quotes around the word captain.
  3705. >You aren’t really sure what to say to that as you look down at the lump in your coat made by Otto’s core.
  3706. >”If you really want to know, I’d ask the robot once we get it turned on.”
  3707. >You look up shocked.
  3708. >Dan hates this thing, what’s he doing being so accepting of the idea of bringing it on board?
  3709. “What gives, I thought you’d want to smash it in the night or something?”
  3710. >”Well, at first, that’s exactly what I was planning; it was on my list, after all.”
  3711. >Dan says nonchalantly as he squeezes between an unusually close pair of stacks.
  3712. >”But then I got to thinking about what you said about it not being able to do anything to us anymore. I figured being reduced to the function of map is a humiliating enough revenge.”
  3713. >”Plus, I don’t really think a computer will really get the concept of just desserts, so an elaborate scheme is really wasted on it.”
  3714. >That makes sense in a weirdly vindictive sort of way, you think before shrugging and following Dan through the gap.
  3715. >At least he’s not gunning for Otto anymore.
  3716. >After Dan reassures you he isn’t planning on going all Lee Harvey Oswald on your new navigator, a few minutes pass in silence after before you finally break the silence again.
  3717. “So what exactly are we going after this time?”
  3718. .>You ask trying to change the subject.
  3719. >”This is our second shot at a vessel, since the van was a bust. As pissed as I am about losing such a comfy ride, this one is honestly probably a better vessel candidate.”
  3720. >”What do you mean better candidate?”
  3721. >Spike chimes in from his position trundling along as the rear guard.
  3722. >”I mean the car looks like it’s a fuckin' space ship: it’s got its own turbines, and rocket thrusters, and everything!”
  3723. >Dan’s excitement begins to build as he describes the car you all are going to collect.
  3724. >”It doesn’t even look like it’s damaged at all, really: slick black coat of paint with a cobalt blue section on the hood, and a big red circular turbine feeding the engine. It’s pretty rad.”
  3725. “If it’s not damaged, why not just try and drive it back to the garage?”
  3726. >You ask, interrupting Dan’s fantasies about the sick set of wheels you’re going to collect.
  3727. >”Simple, I couldn’t get in. The glass is bulletproof or something.”
  3728. >You stop for a second, confused.
  3729. “Wait, so if you couldn’t get in before, what’s changed now?”
  3730. >”Simple, Stretch, you’re what‘s changed.”
  3731. >Dan says as he turns and points at you over his shoulder.
  3732. >”Or, more specifically, you and that Keyblade.”
  3733. >That wasn’t a particularly helpful explanation, is he expecting you to use it as a slim jim or something?
  3734. “I’m still not following here.”
  3735. >You reply hoping to coax more information out of Dan.
  3736. >”Ughh, this is Day One stuff here man, the Keyblade is supposedly capable of opening any lock.”
  3737. “This IS Day One here for me, Dan. What else do you know about this thing that I don’t?"
  3738. >Dan rubs his scraggly goatee for a minute as he mumbles to himself.
  3739. >”Already mentioned the Keyblade War… just did locks… only way to defeat the Heartless for good. OH, apparently the Keyblade is capable of opening the way to other worlds, whatever that means.”
  3740. >Dan says as he plops his fist down into his palm in a little 'ah ha!' motion.
  3741. >As you go to open your mouth and ask why the hell we didn’t just do that in the first place, Dan cuts you off.
  3742. >”Didn’t mention it because I have no idea how it’s done, and figured if you did, you wouldn’t even be on this shitheap.”
  3743. >”I think that’s just about all I got on the Keyblade specifically.”
  3744. >Dan shrugs as the three of you draw closer to a light at the end of this shadowy, rusted labyrinth.
  3745. “Fair enough.”
  3746. >You say begrudgingly, frustrated that your only guide to the larger world doesn’t know much more about it than you do.
  3747. “So, anything we need to know about this car we’re going to get? Anything dangerous guarding it like Axiom security?”
  3748. >You ask turning your focus back to the task at hand.
  3749. >”Nothing beyond normal Heartless bullshit, and we may not even run into those fucks.”
  3750. >Dan says, rubbing his hands together gleefully.
  3751. >”It’s literally sitting there, waiting for us to take it!”
  3752. >Dan laughs as you exit the stacks and rejoin a clear path heading off to the east.
  3753. >”But why take my word for it, when you can see for yourselves; behold, our new ride!”
  3754. >Dan waves his arm like a magician revealing his hidden assistant as the three of you round the corner.
  3755. >Only to discover an empty clearing as Dan stands there eyes closed with a smug grin on his face, his arms framing a car that isn’t there.
  3756. >”Uh, what ride, Dan?”
  3757. “Yeah, are you sure this is the right place?”
  3758. >You ask as you walk past Dan and look around the clearing checking for signs of this supposed supercar.
  3759. >”WHAT?!”
  3760. >Dan’s eyes snap open as he wheels around on the clearing, finding it to be exactly as vacant as you describe.
  3761. >”But it was right here!”
  3762. >You follow Dan as he runs over to the edge of the clearing.
  3763. >Once there, you discover depressions where clearly a car once set along with scrapes and gouges in the surrounding scrap.
  3764. >Dan did say all the best stuff seems to end up at the crane, now you know why.
  3765. “Looks like the Heartless got hold of it.”
  3766. You say as Dan seethes with rage.
  3767. >”HEARTLEEEEEEEEESS!”
  3768. >The manlet bellows, silhouetted by the slowly setting sun as he throws his fists skyward.
  3769. >Suddenly, a loud crashing noise interrupts Dan’s incoherent shouting.
  3770. >When you turn to see the source of the noise, you see something incredible.
  3771. >There, cape flapping in the breeze as it stands in a perfect three point landing, is what appears to be an honest-to-god super hero.
  3772. >But as you examine the motionless figure, something seems off, the vibrant blue and red suit seems to hang off of his body as though the individual inside had withered away down to nothing.
  3773. >You cautiously start to approach the figure as Spike bounces up and down excitedly stammering about how it’s a real life super hero.
  3774. “You okay there, guy?”
  3775. >As you ask your question, the figure slowly stands revealing on its chest a familiar red and black crest.
  3776. “Ohhh shit.”
  3777. >Spike goes quiet as you jump back, summoning your Keyblade in a flash of light.
  3778. >The Heartless stands, the single spit curl antenna sticking up from behind its simple cloth strip of a mask, bouncing as it looks at you from behind a pair of spiraling eye holes cut in the fabric.
  3779. >It’s gaunt lantern jaw tightens as those sunken spirals flash yellow and a squad of Shadows rise up from the trash, accompanied by a pair of Soldiers popping into existence.
  3780. “You just had to go and speak of the Devil, didn’t you, Dan?”
  3781. >You groan as the three of you fall into a formation against the advancing horde.
  3782. >Dan, meanwhile, isn’t listening as he pulls out his wrench with a grin.
  3783. >”This is going to be the easiest revenge I’ve ever gotten.”
  3784.  
  3785. >Party vs Super Patrol
  3786. Anon 27/31 HP
  3787. Spike 27/37 HP
  3788. Dan 30/30 HP
  3789.  
  3790. Heartless
  3791. Shadows x 4 10 HP
  3792. Soldiers x 2 15 HP
  3793. Fallen Hero x1 30 HP
  3794.  
  3795. >Something about the way that the Heartless are surrounding the emaciated mockery of a super hero makes you uneasy.
  3796. >Like they might be setting some kind of trap.
  3797. >Maybe the three of you should hang back and play it safe: try and see what the Heartless are up to.
  3798. >Then again, it occurs to you that it’s pretty hard to set off a trap after your ass has been lit up by 10,000 volts.
  3799. >The tip of your Keyblade is already glowing a brilliant yellow as you finish the thought.
  3800. >You rush the Shadow standing in front of you, brandishing the Keyblade as though you plan to smash the little Heartless.
  3801. >But at the last second you stop short and thrust your weapon into the air, showering the field with thunderbolts.
  3802. “Time to bring the hertz!”
  3803. >You shout as a bolt of lightning catches the Fallen Hero in the chest, while two of the three Shadows caught in your electric fury explode on the spot.
  3804. >The third Shadow manages to twist out of the direct path of your lightning and avoid his companions' fates, but rather than the sweet breakdancing of the third Shadow, it’s the fate of its destroyed counterparts that catches your eye.
  3805. >Instead of dissipating in a cloud of smoke as all the Shadows before you have done, the cloud of darkness they leave behind swirl inwards toward the Fallen Hero, enveloping it a seething dark aura.
  3806. >It looks at you and you can see a pair of pitch black twinkles in its eye as its crooked zigzagging mouth twists up into a grin.
  3807. “Ohh man, that can’t be good. ”
  3808. >As you warn the others, the Soldiers charge down towards you past the imitation hero.
  3809. >The first one lunges at you with its claws, while the second launches itself into the air in a flying kick.
  3810. >As you knock the claws of the first Soldier aside, you fluidly sidestep the second Heartless’s flying kick, leaving the monster to crash land next to its counterpart.
  3811. “I set ‘em up, you knock ‘em down, Spike!”
  3812. >You shout as you turn to the little dragon who shoots you a thumbs up in return.
  3813. >”Let’s see if you guys can take the heat.”
  3814. >Spike says with a grin as he wrenches the throttle on the heap lance, sending him blazing forward wreathed in the lance’s burning aftertrail.
  3815. >The careening rocket-powered lance crashes through the pair of Soldiers, and sends Spike flying another 20 feet, before sputtering out directly behind the Fallen Hero.
  3816. >”You’re ne-“
  3817. >As Spike starts to taunt the creature, its aura pulses as it twists around to look at Spike, its eyes blazing with an unnatural, sickly yellow glow.
  3818. >”-xt.”
  3819. >Spike chokes on the end of his sentence as a pair of lasers rip from the Heartless’ eyes, blasting the little dragon and sending him flying back several feet into the trash.”
  3820. >“Oh my god, it killed Spike!”
  3821. >But before you’re able to reflexively shout back 'you bastard', the Heartless whips its head around, sweeping the laser across you and your diminutive mechanic.
  3822. >You wince as the searing yellow light cuts into you, but as quickly as it began the light flickers out and the hero’s aura seems half as strong as it was, before leaving a single twinkle in the monster’s eye.
  3823. >You get ready to rush across the field to check on the little dragon, but before you can make your move, Spike pops up out of the trench he had been blasted into and dusts himself off.
  3824. “Glad to see you’re still in one piece, little buddy.”
  3825. >You say as you breathe a sigh of relief.
  3826. >”Yeah, looks like that scale shine came in handy after all.”
  3827. >Spike groans as he looks the charred spot on his belly.
  3828. >”So what if its got lasers? We just need to kill it before it has the chance to shoot off any more of those things!”
  3829. >Dan shouts as he runs up and catches a soldier in a pincer movement with Anon before ringing the monster’s bell with his trusty wrench.
  3830. >After witnessing the crazy shit the three of you just went through, the trio of remaining Shadows vanish beneath the trash as they assume their two dimensional form.
  3831. >”See? We got ‘em running scared.”
  3832. >Dan says with a smirk as he drums his fingers on his wrench, preparing for the next assault.
  3833.  
  3834. >Party vs Super Patrol
  3835. Anon HP 17/31 MP 38
  3836. Spike HP 22/37 MP 10
  3837. Dan HP 20/30
  3838.  
  3839. Heartless
  3840. Shadows
  3841. 1 10/10
  3842. 2 0/10
  3843. 3 0/10
  3844. 4 3/10
  3845. 5 10/10
  3846. Soldiers
  3847. 1 4/15
  3848. 2 7/15
  3849. Fallen Hero 27/30
  3850.  
  3851. >After that vicious eye laser from the punch dimension, one thing seems clear: killing the weaker heartless seems to make their leader stronger.
  3852. “Ignore the others; we need to prioritize the knock-off Superman!”
  3853. >You shout as you point to Spike.
  3854. “Get ready to rush him again, Spike, I’ll pin him down!”
  3855. >As you dart away to put your plan into action, one of the soldiers tries to take a swipe at you.
  3856. >The swipe goes so wide that the Heartless careens off balance and slashes its partner trying to right itself.
  3857. >You, meanwhile, are too busy staking the Fallen Hero’s cape with the Keyblade to notice the whole exchange.
  3858. >Likewise, you’re too busy shouting for Spike to torch the fool to notice the two Soldiers rushing you from behind.
  3859. >Dan takes a swing at the fleeing Soldier, trying to occupy its attention, but the wrench goes wide and the two charge at you unimpeded.
  3860. >Both soldiers miss you entirely, but the real problem is the second Soldier that sails by you with a missed kick, landing directly into Spike’s path just as the little dragon twists the throttle on his lance.
  3861. >It’s too late to stop him now; maybe you’ll get lucky, maybe Spike will miss the weakened Soldier, you think as the lance’s twisted tip tears at the imitation hero.
  3862. >Those hopes are completely dashed when Spike crashes downward and impales the Soldier with his lance just before the thrusters sputter out, as they exhaust the last of Spike’s mana.
  3863. “That’s fucking brutal.”
  3864. >You say in disbelief as the Soldier thrashes around for a second before finally disintegrating, releasing a soft red light into the air.
  3865. >For a second you hold out hope that maybe it's just the raw darkness of the Shadows that the hero feeds on, but that notion is quickly dispelled as the Heartless’s gloved hand snatches the light out of the air and swallows it whole.
  3866. >The Heartless begins to twitch and then, in an instant, the monsters frame is rippling with all the muscle of a golden age super hero: its suit, once hanging loose off its skeletal form, is now stretched tightly across its body.
  3867. >It twists its head back over its shoulder and trains a single eye on you as a guttural rumbling fills the air.
  3868. >The Heartless’s entire body seems to clench as it whirls around almost faster than you can follow.
  3869. >Nevertheless, you do manage to see its fist hurtling towards you as its guttural rumbling escalates into a roar.
  3870. >You try and spin away from the blow, but it’s too fast to avoid, and the Heartless’s fist crashes into you.
  3871. >Your world is spinning around you as the blow sends you tumbling through the air, and you can’t help but think it’s a good thing that you were always the 90-pound weakling back home.
  3872. >If you had offered more resistance, that blow might have just torn you apart instead of sending you flying.
  3873. >Weird that you haven’t bounced off the ground yet, though, you think as the world slows to a halt and you can assess your surroundings.
  3874. “Oh… that’d explain it.”
  3875. >You say numbly, as a strange sense of calm washes over you as you look down and find yourself slowing to a brief stop about 70 feet in the air.
  3876.  
  3877. >You are Dan, and you just saw Anon get launched into the air like a fucking rag doll.
  3878. ”Oh fuck…”
  3879. >You can’t help but think making sure your Keyblade wielder doesn’t fucking die might take precedence over keeping a couple of Heartless from causing trouble.
  3880. “Now think, Dan. You can do this. How are you going to save this idiot’s life?”
  3881.  
  3882. >Party vs Super Patrol
  3883. Anon HP 10/31 (Launched)
  3884. Spike HP 22/37
  3885. Dan HP 20/30
  3886.  
  3887. Heartless
  3888. Shadows
  3889. 1 10
  3890. 2 0
  3891. 3 0
  3892. 4 3
  3893. 5 10
  3894. Soldiers
  3895. 1 0/15
  3896. 2 3/15
  3897. Fallen Hero 18/30 > 28/40
  3898.  
  3899. >You see a mattress off in the corner, but as you start to dart over to grab it, a pair of flashes catch your eye as the Keyblade vanishes and rematerializes in Anon’s hand.
  3900. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LTVHSTh_l0
  3901. >Oh shit, he’s actually going to try and impale this thing.
  3902. >You abandon the thought of the mattress, sprinting forward and latching onto the Heartless’s cape, digging your heals into the trash and hauling back on the flowing fabric.
  3903. ”SPIKE, TACKLE HIM! WE CAN’T LET HIM GET AWAY!”
  3904. >You shout as you pull back on the cape, slowly bending the Heartless backwards, providing a larger target for your plummeting Keyblade wielder.
  3905. >The Fallen Hero tries to get a good enough foothold to yank his cape free of your grasp and send you hurtling skyward in the process, but before he can succeed, a tiny purple ball of scales crashes into his shins.
  3906. >”NOT ON MY WATCH!”
  3907. >Spike locks his arms and legs around the Heartless’s legs holding it in place. It all depends on Anon now.
  3908.  
  3909. >You are Anonymous, and as your head clears, you realize there’s nothing you can do to mitigate the impact you’re about to take.
  3910. >Which means the only option left is to turn it in your favor.
  3911. >First, a little insurance, you think as you pull the last potion you have out of your pocket and toss it into the air above you as you begin to fall.
  3912. “Well… All or nothing now.”
  3913. >You say, gritting your teeth as you hold out your hand to the ground below and call out to the Keyblade.
  3914. >It appears in your hand in a flash of light as the wind begins to whip by you faster and faster as you hurtle towards the ground.
  3915. >As the ground rushes up towards you, you can see the bright red and black crest on the imitation hero’s chest tilt up into view as Dan and Spike try and hold it in place for you.
  3916. >As you see the two of them straining against the super-powered Heartless, something clicks into place inside you, and the doubt hanging over you is blown away.
  3917. “Let’s crack the sky!”
  3918. >A grin spreads across your face as you roll into a diving thrust, and your Keyblade blazes to life with a brilliant yellow light.
  3919. ”THUNDERFALL!”
  3920. >You shout as the magic released, and you’re wreathed in a bolt of crackling electricity streaking down from the heavens.
  3921. “NO!”
  3922. >You shout as your entire body tingles, overflowing with raw electrical magic as your Keyblade screams through the chest of the fallen hero.
  3923. >The momentum drives your Keyblade directly through the Heartless‘s torso with no resistance until the guard finally catches on its muscular frame, and the super-powered monstrosity begins to strain against the blow, absorbing the kinetic energy you built up in your fall.
  3924. >For a moment, it seems like it’s going to force itself back upright against the blow, but then, as suddenly as it came, the whatever power it used to assume its new form runs out and it becomes an emaciated wreck once more.
  3925. “CAPES!”
  3926. >You cry as you stake the Heartless to the ground and the electrical fury rushes through its withered frame, vaporizing it.
  3927. “Totally worth it.”
  3928. >You say as you collapse to your knees and your vision begins to fade out.
  3929. >But just as Spike and Dan rush over to catch you, the Hi-Potion you threw at the top of your arc crashes into your back, shattering the glass bottle and releasing the healing magic contained within.
  3930. >Your eyes shoot open and you stagger back up to your feet, as Spike begins losing his fucking mind.
  3931. “Like I said, totally worth it.”
  3932. >You say, shooting the pair of them a thumbs up as you pull your smoking Keyblade out of the ground.
  3933. >”Look, I hate to burst your bubble, Stretch, but this isn’t quite over yet.”
  3934. >Dan says as he points to the three remaining Shadows pulling themselves up out of the ground into formation around the remaining Soldier.
  3935. >You try to pull your Keyblade up and at the ready, but stumble as you step forward to engage the group of Heartless.
  3936. >”Nah, guys, I got this.”
  3937. >Spike says as he holds up a clawed purple hand and steps forward, leaving his spent lance lying in the trash behind him.
  3938. >”Can’t let you guys all do all the work.”
  3939. >The baby dragon takes a deep breath, puffing out his chest as he inhales.
  3940. >”What’s he doing? He’s gonna get himself killed!”
  3941. >Dan shouts, trying to rush after Spike as the Heartless rush the little drake.
  3942. “Don’t worry, Dan, the little man’s got it covered.”
  3943. >You say, grabbing Dan’s shoulder as Spike unleashes a torrent of flame, barbequing the charging Heartless.
  3944. >”Wait, you mean he could do that the whole time?”
  3945. >Dan says in disbelief as the charred Heartless crumble away in the wind, the Soldier’s light already floating away from its incinerated husk.
  3946. “Yeah, you ever hear of a dragon that couldn’t breathe fire?”
  3947. >Dan’s eyes go wide.
  3948. >”Spike is a dragon?”
  3949.  
  3950. >Party vs Super Patrol
  3951.  
  3952. VICTORY
  3953. Anon and Spike gain a level!
  3954. Both characters gain plus 2 ability points and your choice between one of two abilities:
  3955.  
  3956. Spike
  3957. Fire Breath increased to twice daily, OR gain the ability Cleave (make a second attack against adjacent enemy if your first attack kills its target.)
  3958.  
  3959. Anon
  3960. Analytical Fighter Rank 2, OR Magical Overload (Magic gains critical chance)
  3961.  
  3962. [Spike gains 2 Int and Cleave. Anon gains 2 CHA and Analytical Fighter Rank 2.]
  3963.  
  3964. “Of course he’s a dragon, why else would you give him a lance that sets its user on fire?”
  3965. >Dan just crosses his arms defensively as Spike turns around and bounces back towards the two of you.
  3966. >”Hey, lizards live in the desert right? I just assumed the iguana man would be able to tough it out.”
  3967. >There are so many things wrong with that statement that you don’t bother to correct him, instead turning to meet Spike as he hops up in the air for a high five.
  3968. >”Pretty cool, right?”
  3969. >Spike says with a grin as he slaps your hand and drops back down to the trash, where he looks up to you expectantly.
  3970. “I’m not gonna lie, that was totally sick, little man.”
  3971. >You say as Spike pumps his fist and grabs his lance out of the pile of junk he dropped it in.
  3972. >”So, we heading back to the garage now that this place was a bust?”
  3973. >Spike asks, looking up to Dan for confirmation.
  3974. >”Looks that way, let’s get going before more show up.”
  3975. >Dan groans as he throws his wrench over his shoulder and begins to trudge back to the station.
  3976. “What? All that work and we get nothing out of it?”
  3977. >”Mostly, the only reward you get for fighting out here is not dying.”
  3978. >Dan says with a tired sigh as he heads off down the path.
  3979. “Nah, fuck that, there’s gotta be something we can use around here.”
  3980. >You say as you scan the clearing where you fought the Fallen Hero.
  3981. >At first, it seems like it’s just a bunch of broken down junk, but then something catches your eye.
  3982. >Wedged into one of the piles of junk is a taped up cardboard box with the word "Tunes" scrawled on the side.
  3983. >You yank it out of the pile, fortunately avoiding a trash avalanche, and slice through the tape with your Keyblade.
  3984. >”Whatcha got there, big guy?”
  3985. >Spike asks as you pull open the dried cardboard flaps.
  3986. “I don’t know, but we’re about to find out.”
  3987. >Inside you find a collection of cassettes and stacks of old CD jewel cases.
  3988. “Parliament, Mothership Connection.”
  3989. >You mutter to yourself as you pull out a cassette case depicting a man in a silver spacesuit hanging out the hatch of a flying saucer.
  3990. >It sounds familiar, but you can’t quite place it.
  3991. >“What’s with all the little boxes?”
  3992. >Spike asks as he reaches in and pulls out another cassette.
  3993. >”And what’s a Motor Booty Affair?”
  3994. >He asks holding up a cassette depicting a man in a white suit and a long nosed mask about to be devoured by a giant bird.
  3995. “I can honestly say I have no idea, Spike.”
  3996. >You say as you take the cassette and drop it back in the box.
  3997. “What I do know is this: this box just made our interplanetary road trip a lot more fun.”
  3998. >You say as you grab the box and the two of you hustle down the path after Dan.
  3999. >Only to nearly crash into Dan as he trudges back up the hill.
  4000. >”Jesus, guys, what’s the hold up?”
  4001. >He grumbles as he looks incredulously at your dusty old cardboard box.
  4002. “I just saved our trip from mind-numbing boredom.”
  4003. >You say with a grin as you tilt the box Dan’s direction giving him a peek at your haul of old tapes and CDs.
  4004. >Dan pulls a cassette with a blue cover out of the box.
  4005. >”Oh fucking sweet, dude, it’s got Guns and Roses. ”
  4006. >Dan says with what may be the first genuine smile you’ve seen the man make.
  4007. >”Does anyone want to tell me what that means?”
  4008. >Spike says, starting to lose patience with being left out of the loop as to what’s so great about this dirty old box.
  4009. “Spike, you’re learning something new about Earth tonight.”
  4010. >You say with a grin as Dan takes off down the path.
  4011. >”Hurry it up you chucklefucks, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve heard music?”
  4012. >Dan shouts as the two of you laugh and run after him.
  4013. >Off in the distance though, as the path twists towards the crane, you can just barely hear a low rhythmic thumping sound over the sound of Dan laughing and Spike asking how music fits in a little square box.
  4014. >As the path twists again, and you begin heading back towards the station, the sound fades into silence as quickly as it began and is swiftly pushed from you thoughts as Dan gets super into explaining how magnetic tape and dual head readers revolutionized the audio recording industry.
  4015. >The three of you arrive at the garage just as the last rays of the sun peek over the foothills surrounding your temporary stronghold.
  4016. >”And that’s why Walkman was an infinitely superior product to the Diskman, and they should have never bothered with CDs.”
  4017. >Dan says as he flings open the station door and flicks on the lights in the garage.
  4018. >“Throw me one of those tapes, I’ve been dying to try this thing out for months.”
  4019. >Dan says as goes over to his work table and pulls a mish-mashed jumble of parts out from under the table and thumps it down on the rough wooden surface.
  4020. >Upon closer inspection, Dan’s device appears to be a car stereo hooked up to a battery and a couple of loose speakers.
  4021. >You reach into the box and throw Dan a random tape.
  4022. >He sticks the tape in the deck, and for a few seconds all you hear is static.
  4023. “Sorry it didn’t work, Da-“
  4024. >And then, like a distant scream, the sound of one guitar blows you away.
  4025. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr6KVNt-1Ek
  4026. >As Foreigner starts to play, you can see stars in Spike's eyes as he listens slack-jawed to the music blasting out of Dan’s makeshift jambox.
  4027. “This is the big deal, little guy.”
  4028. >You say with a grin as you leave Spike listening to Juke Box Hero while you go collect Twilight’s notebook.
  4029. >When you return, Spike is eagerly digging through the box and ferrying cassettes over to the work table for Dan to play after this tape runs out.
  4030. >”All right, now that that’s taken care of, let’s take a look at that gem of yours.”
  4031. >Dan says as he flips through your song selection.
  4032. >You pull out the gem and sit it on the work table before you pull up a crate to sit and read on while Dan works on the gem.
  4033. >”Okay, so this thing is essentially a telescope right?”
  4034. >Dan says as he examines the gem before digging around in a bin full of random junk and pulls out some scrap metal to use as housing along with a few strips of leather.
  4035. >”So, I’m thinking we might be able to turn this into some kind of sniper scope for your magic. Might be helpful when it comes to getting the drop on the Heartless, or taking out those fucking fliers that refuse to come close enough to smack.”
  4036. >He says as he gets to work cutting the leather into the shape he needs.
  4037. >You shoot him a thumbs up as you get into the section of Twilight’s notes covering fire magic.
  4038. >”I’ve got a fever of a hundred and three-”
  4039. >You can hear the stereo playing away in the background as you read about how Fire magic can be fueled by most kinds of spiritual or emotional warmth, and due to this wide variety of sources it’s typically the easiest element for novice mages to get a handle on. Twilight goes on to say that, while the spell is simple to learn, it’s less accessible than the other two basic elements, and that she has yet to discover any means for a non-unicorn to cast it unlike Thunder and Ice magic.
  4040. >Twilight also mentions that while uncontrolled Fire magic tends to burst out of the magical conduit used to summon it and whirl around its caster before flickering out, it is particularly easy to channel and direct that magic where you need it to go.
  4041. >Twilight concludes that, thanks to this malleable nature, Fire magic is particularly easy to shape using the formulae that she’s been developing.
  4042. >The sound of static breaks your concentration as the tape ends and you look up over Twilight’s notes to see Spike sitting on the floor looking up at you.
  4043. “Oh hey, buddy, I didn’t see you there. Why didn’t you say something?”
  4044. >You ask as you close the book and set it aside for the time being.
  4045. >”You had the same look Twilight gets when she’s studying, I didn’t want to interrupt.”
  4046. >Spike says looking away from you, not sure how to proceed.
  4047. >”Do you think Twilight’s doing okay?”
  4048. >He says in a quiet tone, not quite able to look you in the eye.
  4049. >You get the distinct impression he doesn’t want to let on just how worried about her he is, but the fear shines through anyway.
  4050. “I’m sure Twilight has already met someone who can help her. I mean, we wound up in the literal middle of nowhere, and still managed to meet Dan.”
  4051. >You say as you try to reassure the little dragon that his adoptive sister is okay.
  4052. >Spike nods, but he still seems less than convinced.
  4053. ”Plus, I practically tripped over you inside of a day from being separated, I’m sure that we’ll find Twilight and the others just as easily once we get off The Heap.”
  4054. >You can see the gears turning in Spike’s head as you continue with you optimistic line of logic.
  4055. “Plus, Twilight’s way more competent than the three of us combined.”
  4056. >Gesturing to Dan, Spike, and finally back to yourself.
  4057. “I’m sure she’s already found a way off whatever world she’s found herself on and is already out looking for us as we speak.”
  4058. >Spike thinks about it for a moment before he finally responds.
  4059. >”Yeah, if anyone can figure this out, it would be Twilight.”
  4060. >He says with a grin, visibly calmer after your pep talk.
  4061. “So, now that we’ve concluded Twilight’s probably okay, how are you doing with all this Spike? This is more or less your first time out on your own right?”
  4062. >Spike goes to throw out a stock answer but stops himself.
  4063. >Finally after taking a few seconds to think it over he replies.
  4064. >”It was scary at first when I was trapped here on my own, but after I met Dan and you showed up, the truth is that I’ve been having fun going out fighting monsters and trying to figure out how to escape with you guys.”
  4065. >Spike says with a frown as he tries to figure out how to put the rest of his thoughts into words.
  4066. >”But at the same time I feel, I dunno, guilty, I guess?”
  4067. >He says with a confused look on his face as he looks to you for some sign of understanding.
  4068. >”Like, I keep remembering how scared I was when I first got here, and then I keep thinking of everyone else and how they must feel trapped out there on their own, and then I feel bad for being on an adventure having a good time.”
  4069. >Spike says, breaking into a little rant trying to make himself understood.
  4070. >You nod understandingly as you put a hand on the dragon’s shoulder, calming him down.
  4071. “I know what you mean, buddy, and don’t feel bad. We’re doing everything we can to get out and find them, so don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself a little on the way. You gotta take the good times where you can find them.
  4072. >You say as you wave a hand around the rundown garage.
  4073. “Even if they’re in a dump like this.”
  4074. >”Especially if they’re in a dump like this.”
  4075. >Dan shouts across the room as he sits up and walks over to the two of you.
  4076. >”Hate to interrupt the heart-warming pep talk, but I’m done with your gem.”
  4077. >Dan tosses what looks like an eye patch into your lap.
  4078. >Although, as you pull it on over your eye, your vision snaps out of focus as you suddenly have a one eyed close-up of the far corner of the room.
  4079. >”That ought to let you pick off Heartless up to about a 300 yards, provided you can work out how to cast magic at that kind of range.”
  4080. >Dan says as he wipes some kind of grime off his hands.
  4081. >”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some surplus parts from the Axiom just begging to be made into flashbangs.”
  4082. >Dan says with a maniacal grin as he turns and walks back over to the stereo and pops in a cassette before getting back to work.
  4083. >”Some folks are born maaaade to wave the flag-”
  4084. >Echoes out into the night as Dan begins work on his new toys.
  4085. >Meanwhile, you pull off your new scope and turn back to Spike, only to find the little dragon suppressing a yawn as he struggles to stay awake.
  4086. “I think someone probably ought to hit the sack.”
  4087. >You say as Spike tries to protest.
  4088. >”But I want to hear more music.”
  4089. >He begs pitifully, but you’re not going to cave.
  4090. “We need you at the top of your game if we’re getting off this dump. And besides, Twilight would kill me if she found out I wasn’t making sure you took care of yourself.”
  4091. >You say as you usher him out of the room.
  4092. >”Ughhh fine, I’ll see you in the morning, Anon.”
  4093. >The dragon huffs before breaking into a yawn as he walks down the room to his storage closet.
  4094. >You nod approvingly before returning to your seat where you crack open Twilight’s book and pick up where you left off the night before on Bulwark constructs.
  4095. >As interesting as it is reading about the rigid thaumaturgical structures that twist raw elemental magic into usable forms that allow one to, in this case, absorb the impact of physical object, your mind can’t help but wander.
  4096. >Despite what you told Spike, now that you aren’t fighting for your life and you have time to think again, your mind begins to dwell on the fate of the others.
  4097. >Applejack and Rainbow Dash can probably take care of themselves when it comes to the Heartless, but what about Fluttershy?
  4098. >She might not even be able to ask for help, much less protect herself.
  4099. >You tell yourself that hopefully, after interacting with you, she’ll at least be able to talk to humans if she needs to.
  4100. >Maybe she’s with one of the other girls right now, and you’re worrying over nothing.
  4101. >But that thought doesn’t really make you feel any better.
  4102. >What about Rarity, though? She did okay with the diamond dogs, but you doubt the Heartless are going to be so susceptible to her whining.
  4103. >And for all you said about Twilight being competent, she’s just as likely to have a complete meltdown and shut down completely as she is to spring into action and start working towards a solution.
  4104. >At least Pinkie’s probably doing alright, that mare can make friends with anyone.
  4105. >You think as you absentmindedly rub the engraving on your pocket watch.
  4106. >You pull it out of your pocket and pop it open, taking a deep breath as you gaze at the pink gem set in the cover.
  4107. >Sitting here worrying isn’t going to do anything to help them, you think to yourself as you try and push the fear out of your mind.
  4108. “All I need to do is focus on finding them.”
  4109. >You tell yourself, closing your eyes as you exhale.
  4110. >You pop the watch shut and open your eyes.
  4111. >There’s no way I’m going to be able to focus on this tonight, might as well finish up in the morning before we head out. You think to yourself as you pick up Twilight’s spell book and turn to head down the hall to your own supply closet.
  4112. “I’m turning in for the night, Dan, see ya tomorrow.”
  4113. >You turn and call over your shoulder to the angry little man.
  4114. >”Suit yourself, Stretch, I have more explosives to make.”
  4115. >You can practically hear his grin as he works on his flashbangs before you make your way to your room.
  4116. >You set your belongings on a conveniently placed shelf after hanging your suit on a hook on the back of the door.
  4117. >Just one more day, you think to yourself before drifting off to sleep.
  4118. >As you snore away on the cot, the watch trembles slightly and, for a moment, a rose colored glimmer of light peaks out through the its latch before it quietly fades away.
  4119.  
  4120. >You groggily pull yourself out of your cot the next morning and pull your suit, which somehow you’ve managed not to tear, despite being dick-punched into orbit the day before.
  4121. >You shamble down the hall into the former convenience store section of the station and discover Spike scooping the contents of a red and green can into his mouth.
  4122. >Before you get a chance to ask the little dragon what’s on the menu, Dan shuffles up behind you and grabs another can off of one of the shelves.
  4123. >”Ravioli ravioli, give me the death I deservioli.”
  4124. >He grumbles to himself as he rips the tab off of the can and begins slurping up the ravioli with a look of unfettered disgust.
  4125. >As you go to check the shelves, you find that they’re stocked solely with Grandpa Ardee’s Good Time Ravioli.
  4126. “So I assume this is how…”
  4127. >You trail off pointing at the cans as you look to Dan for confirmation.
  4128. >Dan just looks off into the middle distance with a thousand mile stare.
  4129. >”If I ever see another can of ravioli, it’ll be too soon.”
  4130. >He says before throwing the empty can at the wall where it clatters to the ground into a pile of its fellow discarded cans.
  4131. “So, I guess we’re hitting the crane today, right?”
  4132. >You ask as you grab your own can and the two of you follow Dan back into the garage.
  4133. >”That’s the plan, but if we’re going that way, I want to be loaded for bear.”
  4134. >He says as he steps up to his work bench which is strewn with parts surrounding a long cylindrical barrel.
  4135. >”So, you two, do whatever you think you need to do to get ready, I’m going to finish construction on this.”
  4136. >Dan says as he pulls a tool box out from under the table and starts rummaging through it.
  4137. >”I should be ready to go by noon, so have it wrapped up by then.”
  4138. >He says as he pulls out a wrench and turns to the pile of scrap on the table.
  4139. >And once again, your procrastination has failed to bite you in the ass as Dan’s delay gives you just enough time to finish up the section on Bulwarks in Twilight’s notes.
  4140. >You take your seat on the crate and crack open the journal as Spike starts digging through the box of cassettes, trying to take stock of your new music library.
  4141. >It takes an hour or so, but you finally reach the end of the notes on the methodology for forming a Bulwark, and you feel confident that you could create one on the fly if need be.
  4142. >You’re about to call Spike over to test out the durability of your new spellcraft, but a warning note at the back of the passage catches your eye.
  4143. >”Take care that you don’t try to use a Bulwark to defend against an element your construct is weak against, otherwise you may find yourself on the wrong end of an icicle spear when your shield breaks prematurely.”
  4144. >Twilight goes on to warn you about the limits of the spell’s defensive capacity.
  4145. >”Also be sure to keep track of threats: the Bulwark will reposition itself to intercept most forms of harm headed your way but only as long as the caster is aware of them. If whatever it is manages to catch you by surpris,e the Bulwark most likely won’t be able to repel the attack.”
  4146. >You file the information away for further use, but just as you’re about to flip back to the front of the book and begin studying up on Ice magic, Spike pops up over the top of the journal.
  4147. >”Hey Anon, I found something weird, come check it out.”
  4148. >The little dragon says as you set the book back down on your crate and follow him back over to the worn cardboard box full of cassettes.
  4149. “So, whatcha got? Another weird album title?”
  4150. >You ask as you stoop over the box and Spike dives in to retrieve his find.
  4151. >”Kind of, I found a case that was all bent out of shape, and when I opened it I found this weird thing inside it.”
  4152. >His reply is muffled by the cardboard and the rattling of cassettes as he searches for the item.
  4153. >”Aha, got it!”
  4154. >He shouts popping out of the box holding a cassette case that’s bulging in the center as though it had been forced shut around some kind of ball or marble.
  4155. >”It’s weird, I had found it at the bottom of the box, but I left it on top of the pile when I went to get you.”
  4156. >He says as he scratches his head.
  4157. >”I have no idea how it got back to the bottom like that.”
  4158. >Spike hands you the deformed case with a confused look on his face.
  4159. >You turn it over as you examine it and find that, while warped, the paper insert inside is still legible.
  4160. >Printed on a black background is a yellow silhouetted figure wailing into a microphone as he sports goggles, a wavy pompadour, and an exaggerated nose.
  4161. >Beneath that is printed the text ,“POWERLINE, STAND OUT WORLD TOUR ‘95” in stylized red and yellow letters.
  4162. >The only other thing of note is the list of cities the tour stopped at, which fail to offer up any clue as to the case’s unusual deformity.
  4163. >”Are you going to open it or not already?”
  4164. >Spike asks as you begin to slowly pry open the case and the anticipation starts getting to him.
  4165. “Patience, little man.”
  4166. >You say before finally opening the case and revealing a perfectly round, pale yellow gem with a swirling atom in its center.
  4167. >”So what do you think it is?”
  4168. >Spike asks as he cranes his neck to get a better look at the gemstone.
  4169. ”I have no clue.”
  4170. >You mutter as you go to hold it up to the light to get a better look at it.
  4171. >But as soon as you touch it, you feel a surge of energy shoot through your body, like you had just eaten a nine volt battery.
  4172. >The sensation passes as quickly as it came and you shake your head, gem clutched in the palm of your hand as you try to recollect your thoughts.
  4173. “Maybe Dan will know something about it.”
  4174. >Spike nods in agreement as the two of you get up to go question your engineer.
  4175. >”Just in time, guys.”
  4176. >Dan says with a maniacal grin as he stands up from the table with a bandoleer of grenades slung over his shoulder carrying some kind of oversized low slung air cannon.
  4177. >”You boys ready to go get us a ship?”
  4178. >He asks as he props himself up leaning on his new cannon, still grinning ear to ear.
  4179. “Yeah, more or less.”
  4180. >You say noncommittally as you rub the back of your head.
  4181. “But before we go, Spike and I wanted you to take a look at what we found in our box of tunes.”
  4182. >You hold out the gem for Dan to examine.
  4183. >Unfortunately he simply shrugs after giving it a quick once over.
  4184. >"Beats me, maybe the original owner just stashed it there so it wouldn’t be stolen."
  4185. >As Spike nods understandingly at Dan’s analysis, it seems like whatever experience you had with the rush of energy and the swirling motion visible within the gem was unique to you.
  4186. “You may be right.”
  4187. >You say with a nod as you pocket the gem, resolving to have someone with more magical skill take a look at as soon as the opportunity arrises.
  4188. (Gained Voltglimmer gem!)
  4189. >”Now that that’s settled, let’s get this show on the road.”
  4190. >Dan says as he hefts his scrap cannon in both hands and heads out into the heap.
  4191. >You and Spike swiftly follow suit as the little dragon hefts his lance over his shoulder and the three of you set off for the crane.
  4192. >It isn’t long before you reach the bend in the path and you begin to notice the same rhythmic thump off in the distance that you heard the night before.
  4193. >But you also notice something new, a split in the path leading off in the direction of the crane that you missed in the failing light the evening before.
  4194. >”Okay, guys, from here on out be on your guard.”
  4195. >Dan says as he loads his cannon with a few fistfuls of junk from a nearby pile before the three of you begin your final march to the crane, weapons at the ready.
  4196. >As you wind your way through a valley of mangled cars, the thumping grows louder and louder until you're finally able to hear it clearly.
  4197. https://soundcloud.com/yen-sid-sun/off-in-the-distance
  4198. >”What’s that sound?”
  4199. >Spike asks as he pulls the haft of his lance closer to him, recoiling every time the mechanical crash echoes down the valley.
  4200. >”It’s nothing, just an old automated piece of junk.”
  4201. >Dan replies, and Spike seems slightly reassured as the three of you round the corner into a clearing where the crane finally comes into view.
  4202. >The crane is slowly swinging by as it quietly goes about its business of dropping scrap onto a dilapidated old conveyer belt that creaks by overhead.
  4203. >As the belt funnels into the mouth of a hydraulic crusher at the far end of the valley, you can see the orange electromagnetic head at the end of the crane’s arm pick up something significantly larger, the blue and black car Dan had described to you the day before.
  4204. >”Awww fuck, so much for that one.”
  4205. >Dan groans, kicking a stray pile of junk as the vehicle falls onto the conveyer belt and within seconds is crushed into a compact steel cube.
  4206. >”Okay, not a big deal, this place is loaded with decent bodies we can use. Now all we need to do is find one.”
  4207. >Dan says as he pinches the bridge of his nose and leads the three of you deeper into the junkyard in the shadow of the crane.
  4208. “You know, I was kind of expecting to run into Heartless by now.”
  4209. >You say idly as you pick your way through the rows.
  4210. >”Yeah, I guess all our running around yesterday drew them away.”
  4211. >Dan says as he looks around suspiciously.
  4212. >”But keep your eyes peeled. I never was able to figure out why they congregated here, so there’s got to be something off about this place.”
  4213. >At the back of your mind you can’t help but agree with him, because ever since the three of you arrived you haven’t been able to shake the nagging suspicion that you’re being watched.
  4214. >Despite the persistent eerie feeling it doesn’t take you long to find your first vessel candidate.
  4215. >A remarkably intact white Volkswagen beetle with the number 53 painted on the side.
  4216. “I don’t know, it’s a little cramped for interstellar travel don’t you think?”
  4217. >You ask as you examine the vehicle.
  4218. >”Yeah, maybe, but it’ll be easy to get back to the garage."
  4219. >Dan says exasperated, clearly looking to get out of here as quickly as possible.
  4220. “Fair enough, pop the door open and Spike and I will start pushing.”
  4221. >Almost immediately after the three of you get the car rolling, things start to go sideways.
  4222. >You notice a buzzing sound growing louder as it rushes towards you and then, suddenly, it simply shuts off.
  4223. >That sudden silence is followed immediately by a car crashing to earth directly in your path.
  4224. >You barely have time to register the fact that, rolling in front of you, is a rusted, formerly red race car before the horribly loud buzzing resumes again, this time directly overhead.
  4225. >You look up just in time to see the crane’s giant electromagnet falling towards the three of you.
  4226. “Duck!”
  4227. >You shout as you dive out of the way.
  4228. >Dan and Spike manage to follow suit just in time to avoid the sickening screech of metal on metal as the electromagnet slams down on your would-be ride and hauls it off into the sky.
  4229. >As the magnet hauls the car away, you catch a glimpse of something that defies belief.
  4230. >A furious pair of eyes glaring back at you.
  4231. >You call your Keyblade to your hand as you pick yourself up and watch the magnet drop the bug onto the conveyor-belt, before it swings back in your direction.
  4232. “Uhhhh, I think I know why the Heartless were coming here, guys... And I don’t think it’s happy we’re here.”
  4233.  
  4234. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrIc_igR7w0
  4235.  
  4236. >BOSS FIGHT: GIANT ELECTROMAGNET AND CRUSHER
  4237. Anon: 42 HP 60/60 MP
  4238. Spike: 50 HP 30/30 MP
  4239. Dan: 30 HP 5 flashbangs and a loaded scrap cannon.
  4240.  
  4241.  
  4242. Crusher: 75 HP
  4243. Magnet: 75 HP
  4244.  
  4245. “When it gets back, I get the distinct impression we should be somewhere else.”
  4246. >Your eyes dart around, looking for something that might give you the upper hand on a giant Magnet, but all you find is heaps of worthless junk stacked haphazardly all around you.
  4247. >”Then let’s get the fuck out of dodge!”
  4248. >Dan shouts, taking off down one of the paths twisting through the maze of ruined machinery.
  4249. >You and Spike take off after him, and for a moment you lose sight of the giant scowling Magnet hovering over the junkyard.
  4250. >That moment, however, was doomed to come to a swift and violent end.
  4251. >”Do you think we l-“
  4252. >Spike’s question is drowned out by the droning of a sudden electrical hum, as you round the corner and see the Magnet swinging towards you like a wrecking ball, practically scraping the ground.
  4253. “Oh fu-“
  4254. >Fortunately, the sudden impact of the Magnet with your body saves you from swearing in front of Spike and donating another bit to Twilight’s swear jar.
  4255. >Less fortunately, the impact of a couple thousand pounds of steel superstructure lays you out flat on your ass, where you are immediately joined by Spike as the lip of the Magnet catches him square in the forehead.
  4256. >You think, surely Dan is about to follow you to the ground, but, to your surprise, Dan manages to tap into some previously unrealized well of limbo potential as he bends back at nearly a 90 degree angle and lets the Magnet slip by overhead, barely scraping his stop sign pauldron as it passes.
  4257. >”Oh yeah! Suck my-“
  4258. >Dan starts to shout as he springs back upright; but apparently, this is going to be one of those fights where no one can finish a complete sentence, because halfway through Dan’s taunt, the horrible screeching sound of tearing metal comes from the direction of the Crusher.
  4259. >The sound isn’t the only thing that the Crusher produces though.
  4260. >The smoke that has been billowing steadily from its location turns jet black, laced with crackling streaks of violet energy.
  4261. “Something tells me we maybe oughta check out the crusher, guys.”
  4262. >You say as you point out the obvious plume of abjectly unnatural smoke.
  4263. >”Do you fucking think, Einstein?”
  4264. >Dan says as the Magnet slows to a stop, just short of plowing into a stack of ruined cars.
  4265. >Spike picks himself up off the ground, groaning as he rubs his forehead.
  4266. >”Ughh, did Derpy get put on heavy package duty again?”
  4267. >Spike says groggily as he tries to regain his senses.
  4268. >It only takes a few seconds for his eyes to slip back into focus and he sees the Magnet sitting there, a temporary prisoner of its own inertia.
  4269. >”Payback time!”
  4270. >He shouts, leaping at the Magnet as he lashes out with his lance.
  4271. >Unfortunately, the little dragon is capable of doing little more than putting a pretty gnarly scrape in the Magnet’s bright orange paint.
  4272. >”Aw, for real?”
  4273. >Spike groans as he stumbles back from his unsatisfying blow.
  4274. >”You two get going, and take care to not stare at the bright flash of light, boys.”
  4275. >Dan says as he flings a grenade over the top of the Magnet and pushes the two of you further away.
  4276. >The two of you barely have time to shield your eyes before a brilliant phosphorous flash explodes in the Magnet’s face and Dan goes streaking past you.
  4277. >”We really don’t want to be around when it can see again, boys!”
  4278. Dan shouts back at you as he vanishes around the corner.
  4279. >He has a good point, but you can’t resist taking a potshot at the Magnet with your new spell just as the two of you round the corner.
  4280. “Hot enough for you, guy?”
  4281. >You say with a shit-eating grin as you focus your will and the tip of your keyblade glows red, shooting a condensed ball of flame directly at the giant Magnet.
  4282. >You hear an intense buzzing coming from the Magnet as the fireball impacts, a sound you can only assume to mean you’ve pissed it off royally with that last attack.
  4283.  
  4284. Anon: HP 34/42 55/60 MP
  4285. Spike HP 40/ 50 30/30 MP
  4286. Dan 30/30
  4287.  
  4288. Magnet 54/75
  4289. Crusher 75/75
  4290.  
  4291. >The Magnet twists in place, searching wildly for the three of you, and when it ultimately fails, it retreats into the sky.
  4292. >You can’t help but feel like that’s going to end in it suplexing a car on top of you in the near future.
  4293. >”Can we not be here when it comes back?”
  4294. >Spike asks as his eyes dart around amongst the columns of junk, looking for a direction to break.
  4295. >”Give me just a second.”
  4296. >Dan says in the same way one might ask for time to tie one's shoes as he slings his scrap launcher into position and takes aim at the fleeing Magnet.
  4297. >When Dan goes to fire the makeshift cannon an excess buildup of pressure both knocks the angry little man flat on his ass and launches his impromptu projectiles at an incredible speed towards the Magnet.
  4298. >While most of the missiles fly wide, one does succeed in making its mark and tearing a chunk of metal off the Magnet as the shot connects.
  4299. >”Ok, now we can go.”
  4300. >Dan says, slinging the cannon over his shoulder before calmly walking off towards the Crusher as the Magnet spins and twists in a fit of abject fury.
  4301. “Here, Spike, just in case we get clocked again, hopefully this should let you shrug it off and counterattack.”
  4302. >The Keyblade begins to glow and crackle with electricity as you call on your magic and concentrate on twisting the raw elemental fury of your magic into a useful form.
  4303. “Thunder… Bulwark!”
  4304. >You manage to spit out as you concentrate on holding the framework in your mind and, in an instant, a bolt of lightning shoots from the tip of your Key to Spike, where it explodes into a shower of static sparks that whirl around at his side, forming a glowing electrical wall.
  4305. “There, that should take care…”
  4306. >You trail off as the three of you round another heap and finally set eyes on the Crusher.
  4307. >The conveyor belt is still feeding it junk as it continues to belch that inky black smoke streaked with violet into the sky.
  4308. “Well, at least it’s stationary.”
  4309. >You say as you walk closer, the sound of the compactor slamming together, trying as best it can to deafen you.
  4310. >But as soon as the words leave your lips, something flings itself at you from off the side of a trash heap.
  4311. >It’s, in fact, five somethings. A quintet of little, compact, metal cubes stamped with the Heartless crest and complete with glowing yellow eyes.
  4312. >The five cubes fling themselves at you, and while the first four miss, one of them catches you dead in your center of mass.
  4313. >Despite the fact that the impact hurts like a bitch, there is a silver lining in that the cube that struck you crumbles when it hits you.
  4314. >”I guess this is what the smoke was all about.”
  4315. >Dan says as he pulls his wrench and squares off with you against the other four.
  4316.  
  4317. Anon: HP 28/42 45/60 MP
  4318. Spike HP 40/ 50 30/30 MP
  4319. Dan 30/30 4 flashbangs and a scrap gun
  4320.  
  4321. Magnet 40/75
  4322. Crusher 75/75
  4323. Cubes x4
  4324.  
  4325. >You hear the sound of screeching metal and breaking glass off in the distance as the Magnet plummets down between the columns of junk and out of sight.
  4326. >That sound is immediately followed by a pneumatic hiss from the Crusher as it spits out another five scrap metal Heartless.
  4327. >”We need to keep moving, or they’re going to overrun us!”
  4328. >Spike shouts as he swings his lance in a wide arc, cleaving through a pair of the Crusher’s cuboid shock troops and clearing the way for the three of you to advance.
  4329. >”Yeah, sure, just let me reload!”
  4330. >Dan shouts as he pulls the cannon off his back and slams the barrel down on top of one of the two remaining jittery cubes of scrap metal.
  4331. >The Cube tries and ultimately fails to escape as Dan traps the Heartless inside the rough metal tube, scraping off the cube’s edges as he forces it inside and chambers the new live round.
  4332. >”Okay, lets bounce!”
  4333. >Dan takes off, sprinting towards the Crusher as he darts past the last Cube of the first wave.
  4334. >You pop the top on your bottle of asprin and force down a pill before running after the angry little man with Spike in tow.
  4335. >The last Cube bounds after Dan and catches him in between the shoulder blades, nearly sending him stumbling face first into the trash as the Cube breaks up on impact.
  4336. >As Dan stumbles, a Cube from the Crusher’s second wave goes sailing through the space where his head used to be a second before.
  4337. >Meanwhile, the remaining Cubes bounce and tumble through the air at you and Spike with all the aerodynamic fury of a tightly packed block of trash.
  4338. >Which, fortunately for the two of you, is not very much as you easily side step the two Cubes bouncing your way and one sails clear over Spike’s head.
  4339. >The final Cube catches the corner of the bulwark, forcing it to crumble harmlessly as it spins out of control and crashes into the ground.
  4340. Anon: HP 36/42 45/60 MP
  4341. Spike HP 40/50 30/30 MP Bulwark 9/10 HP.
  4342. Dan 24/30 4 flashbangs and a scrap gun
  4343.  
  4344. Magnet 40/75
  4345. Crusher 75/75
  4346. Cubes x4
  4347.  
  4348. “Okay, let’s show em who’s boss.”
  4349. >You shout, your Keyblade glowing red hot as you spin up a Fire spell to clear out the accumulated trash cubes clattering around at your feet.
  4350. >That’s when you hear the sound of wind whistling past open windows, accompanied by an earsplitting electrical buzz.
  4351. “Scatter!”
  4352. >The magic dies as you warn the others, allowing the three of you to just barely evade being crushed by the rusted out tow truck that the Magnet tries to body slam you with.
  4353. >Unfortunately, that dodge doesn’t save the three of you from being pelted with debris thrown off the trashed tow truck.
  4354. >You and Dan take a couple of scrapes from flying chunks of metal and Spike is nearly brained by a flying headlight.
  4355. >Or at least he would have been, if the crackling energy of the Thunder bulwark hadn’t caught the flying debris and taken the hit for him.
  4356. “As I was saying, let’s clean up this mess.”
  4357. >You say with a smirk as your Keyblade glows red hot and you unleash a whorl of fire that consumes three of the four nearby Cubes, reducing them to smoldering piles of singed junk.
  4358. >”My thoughts exactly.”
  4359. >Dan says planting his feet as he brings his cannon to bear and launches his captive Heartless directly into the Crusher’s unprotected gears.
  4360. >Dan turns to Spike as the gears jerk and rattle, trying to chew through the wriggling Heartless caught in their teeth.
  4361. >”Don’t let it recover, dunk on this fool!”
  4362. >The angry little man shouts as he points at the last remaining Cube and a look of understanding washes over Spike’s face.
  4363. >The little dragon nods as he drops his lance and grabs the cube with both hands.
  4364. >It tries to squirm away from the baby dragon, but his claws dig into the scrap metal as he leaps up and crams the cube into the Crusher’s still quaking gears.
  4365. >There’s a sickening screech as the gears grind to a halt.
  4366. >Parts begin to fly off of the Crusher as its heavy steel compacter freezes mid-motion.
  4367. “One down, one to go.”
  4368. >You say as you turn to shoot the Magnet a predatory grin, only for your confidence to evaporate as you find it staring back at you, with a swath of melted metal on its side and murder in its eyes.
  4369. >It begins to emit a hum so loud it rattles the teeth in your jaw as billowing shadowy smoke begins to roll off it, accompanied by a crackling purple electricity.
  4370. >You’re about to pull up your Keyblade to guard when, behind you, the Crusher erupts in the same black smoke that billows out and begins swallowing entire nearby junk heaps.
  4371. “Guys, I think we need to be somewhere else in a hurry.”
  4372. >You say as Dan and Spike nod in agreement and the three you sprint away from the two overloading machines.
  4373. >”So are they trying to self-destruct or what?”
  4374. >Dan asks when a loud noise from behind answers his question.
  4375. >As the three of you turn to look, you see the sprawling body of the Crusher, supplemented by the nearby scrap heaps reformat itself into a pair of legs with the Crusher itself transformed into some kind of torso with a huge nutcracker-like mouth built into its body.
  4376. >”Oh…”
  4377. >Dan says awestruck as the arm of the crane slides through the torso and reformats into this hulking mechanical figure’s left arm with the Electromagnet’s head forming the parody of a hand, complete with deformed scrap metal fingers made out of discarded I-beams and tow-truck arms.
  4378. “Shit.”
  4379. >You say, finishing his thought as the crane’s counterweight becomes this monstrosity’s right shoulder and the Crusher’s conveyor belt spools up to become its right arm.
  4380. >Spike grips his lance nervously, pointing to the towering mechanical behemoth as a Heartless crest appears on what used to be the Crusher’s forehead.
  4381. >”So, uh, what do we do about that?”
  4382.  
  4383.  
  4384. Anon: HP 34/42 40/60 MP
  4385. Spike HP 40/50 30/30 MP Bulwark 5/10 HP.
  4386. Dan 23/30 4 flashbangs and a scrap cannon
  4387.  
  4388. Magnet 22/75>
  4389. > MagnoCrusher 107/200
  4390. Crusher 35/75>
  4391.  
  4392. >Before you get a chance to reply, the gargantuan mechanical Heartless begins lumbering towards you as its right arm clatters to life.
  4393. “For now, dodge!”
  4394. >You shout as the conveyor belt arm spins up to a frantic speed and the Heartless swings it through a nearby junk heap.
  4395. >The three of you run as the high speed revolution of the conveyor arm flings a hail of junk your way.
  4396. >Dan manages to narrowly avoid being clocked in the back of the head by a flying carburetor, but you and Spike aren’t nearly so lucky.
  4397. >A spinning steel fan gets caught in the static field of Spike’s bulwark, but the shield simply doesn’t have enough energy left to stop the muffler that follows it.
  4398. >The shield slows the improvised missile, but ultimately it tears through the crackling electricity and catches Spike in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground.
  4399. “You okay, little guy? I gotch-ow!”
  4400. >You crouch down to help Spike back to his feet, only to get clocked yourself with a stray driver’s side mirror.
  4401. “We’re not going to get anywhere with this thing without a plan.”
  4402. >You say as you get back to helping Spike up.
  4403. >”Agreed. Tactical retreat into the junk maze for now?”
  4404. >Dan asks as Spike raises his hand.
  4405. >”I’d like to second that plan.”
  4406. >Spike says with a wince as he rubs the back of his head.
  4407. “The motion carries.”
  4408. >You nod and the three of you skedaddle into the isles between the trash heaps and out of the giant mechanoid’s line of sight.
  4409. >You’ve bought yourselves some time to think, but you have no doubt that it won’t take long for the giant Heartless to start knocking over stacks of ruined car frames to get after the three of you.
  4410. “At least it can’t fall out of the sky on us, now that the crane is gone.”
  4411. >You say as Spike takes a defensive stance, waiting at the ready in case it can still send waves of Heartless after you.
  4412. >”Too bad we can’t fall out of the sky on it.”
  4413. >Dan grumbles as he stuffs junk into the barrel of his scrap cannon for a future salvo.
  4414. >”Maybe we could if we climb one of these stacks.”
  4415. >Spike muses as he looks up at the towering columns of trash surrounding the three of you.
  4416. “Maybe, I’d hate to think what would happen if it smashes a tower while we’re on one though.”
  4417. >You say as you funnel energy to your Keyblade and shoot a bolt of electricity in Dan’s direction that explodes out into the protective aura of a Thunder Bulwark.
  4418. “If we’re lucky, we can find something back here to help us turn the tables and we won’t have to resort to climbing.”
  4419. >You don’t really belive you’ll turn up anything useful, but you get up and start poking around the base of the nearest junk heap.
  4420. >”I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one.”
  4421. >Dan smirks as he slings his loaded junk canon over his shoulder, but you ignore the angry little man.
  4422. “Hey, you’re the one who said all the best shit ends up here.”
  4423. >You protest as you pick through the trash and something bright red catches your eye sticking out of a nearby heap.
  4424. >”I was talking about cars, I doubt this place has anything that can kill a giant robot.”
  4425. >However Dan’s reply falls on deaf ears as you’re too busy examining your new find to really pay attention to his bitching.
  4426. >Sticking out of the pile of junk is a thick red gauntlet with a purple circle painted on the back of its wrist.
  4427. “Dan, shut up for a second and help me pull this out.”
  4428. >You call back, cutting off Dan’s diatribe.
  4429. >After some tugging from the three of you the gauntlet fly’s free of its scrap metal prison.
  4430. >”Well… I stand corrected.”
  4431. >Dan says as the three of you look down at your find.
  4432. >Lying at your feet is a barrel chested suit of red winged armor with a hole torn in its chestplate.
  4433. Anon: HP 28/42 32/60 MP
  4434. Spike HP 35/50 30/30 MP Bulwark 0/10
  4435. Dan 23/30 Bulwark 10/10
  4436. MagnoCrusher 107/200
  4437.  
  4438. >Dan flips the mechanical shell over and begins fiddling with the interface for a few seconds before it flickers to life, accompanied by a spurt of flame from the thrusters built into the suit’s seat.
  4439. >Dan’s eyes zip back and forth as he pours through the suit’s diagnostics, trying to think of a way to put this thing to work saving your collective skins.
  4440. >”I think I can do something pretty sweet with this, but I need the two of you to go out and buy me some time.”
  4441. >Spike grips his lance apprehensively as he shoots you a look that seems to say, does he really want the 2-foot-nothing dragon and the autist to play bait for this thing?
  4442. >You answer Spike’s silent question with a firm nod.
  4443. “Don’t leave us twisting in the wind out there for too long.”
  4444. >You say as you hear the crashing sound of the robot’s gigantic footfalls coming ever closer to your hiding spot.
  4445. >”Well, lets get this over with. GRAAAAAAAAAA!”
  4446. >Spike groans before bellowing at the top of his lungs and charging out around the corner.
  4447. .”Fuck! I was going to say on three, Spike!”
  4448. >You shout as you charge around the corner after him, just in time to see Spike roll back to avoid being crushed by the mechanical Heartless’s magnetic left hand as it tosses it out to the end of the crane arm’s cable.
  4449. >The hand slowly picks itself up like a grotesque mechanical spider and glares at Spike, but the little dragon is unperturbed as he puffs out his chest with a deep breath and scorches the Magnet with a gout of roaring flame.
  4450. >You’re not about to let the little dragon have all the fun as you pull your Wolf’s Eye down into position and your focus snaps forward, giving you a perfect view of the Magnet as it recoils from Spike’s flames.
  4451. “Time for a shocking development of my own.”
  4452. >Your Keyblade glows a brilliant yellow as sparks of electricity begin dancing up and down its lengt,h before the magic discharges in a shower of sparks.
  4453. >A second later, a bolt lashes out from the heavens and crashes into the reeling magno-spider sending it crashing into the ground as the Magnet teems with electricity.
  4454. >As the Magnet crackles and sparks with the energy from your spell, it begins to emit another bone-shaking hum.
  4455. >”Oh man, that can’t be a good sign.”
  4456. >Spike says as an alternator flies past his head, crashing into the Magnet.
  4457. >You scarcely manage to dip under a flying 20-inch rim as it whips by you, crashing into the Magnet.
  4458. >A picture flashes in your head of the trash flying towards the Magnet pinning you to the beast, allowing it to drag you back to be crushed.
  4459. “Whatever you do, don’t get caught by the flying debris!”
  4460. >You say as you manage to get clipped in the shin by a stray crowbar.
  4461. >”I’m more worried about it taking my lance.”
  4462. >Spike growls as he struggles against the pull of the Magnet to keep his weapon.
  4463. >While he does manage to succeed, Spike is so focused on hanging onto his lance that he fails to notice the mangled bicycle flying his way until it’s too late to do anything about it.
  4464. >The twisted metal frame grazes inches from his face, only for the bike’s detached chain lashes Spike’s back as it flies by.
  4465. “We just need to hold the line a little longer, buddy.”
  4466. >You shout, trying to encourage the little dragon when suddenly a roar echoes out from behind the trash pillar the three of you have been hiding behind.
  4467. >The torn open suit of armor shoots up into the sky as Dan runs out from behind the pile and joins the three of you, his flashbangs mysteriously absent.
  4468. >”Sorry for the delay, boys, but you better get ready to see some serious shit.”
  4469. >Dan says with a grin, whipping out the control panel as the suit of power armor arcs down towards the MagnoCrusher’s center of mass, right arm outstretched.
  4470. >”Rocket PUUUUUUNCH!”
  4471. >Dan shouts as he mashes a button on the controls and the suit’s outstretched fist is launched from the robot’s arm and smacks into the MagnoCrusher’s face, only for the suit’s body to follow a few seconds later as it rockets downward at full speed.
  4472. >The fist only barely manages to dent the Crusher’s forehead, but when the armor connects the force of the impact sends the giant Heartless staggering backwards.
  4473. “Holy shit.”
  4474. >You say in awe as Dan checks a cracked wristwatch.
  4475. >”You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
  4476. >Dan says as he counts down the seconds on his fingers, and when he hits zero, a brilliant flash of light bursts from the gaping hole in the armor’s chest just as it tumbles past the Crusher’s face.
  4477. >The wave of sudden radiance burns off a layer of smoke clinging to the giant robot’s joints, and a ghastly shrieking sound fills the air as metal scrapes against metal and the entire robot grinds to a halt.
  4478.  
  4479. >”Thanks for the assist, gentlemen.”
  4480. Dan says as he un-slings his fully loaded junk cannon and priming the action with a pneumatic hiss.
  4481. >”Now, what do you say we go push this chump’s shit in?”
  4482.  
  4483. Anon: HP 22/42 25/60 MP
  4484. Spike HP 28/50 30/30 MP Bulwark 0/10
  4485. Dan 23/30 Bulwark 10/10
  4486. MagnoCrusher 49/200 (stunned for one round)
  4487.  
  4488. >By the time you nod Spike is already charging towards the Heartless, its limbs still screeching as it tries in vain to move.
  4489. >The little dragon darts forward and wrenches the throttle on his lance as he leaps up off the ground, sending him careening into the colossal machine’s shin.
  4490. >As the flame-wreathed dragon crashes into the leg, the force of the impact knocks the Heartless’s foot out from beneath its locked leg, leaving it balancing precariously on its right leg.
  4491. >”Got it set up for you, Dan!”
  4492. >Spike shouts back to the two of you, waving his lance in the air as Dan gets into position and takes aim with his scrap cannon.
  4493. >”Now to knock it down.”
  4494. >The angry little man growls as he fires the full payload of his junk cannon up into the Heartless’s leg, every hunk of scrap metal finding its mark as they slam against the dented rusting armor of the mechanical limb.
  4495. >The Heartless teeters precariously, but still manages to stay upright, as the last of the junk Dan crammed into his cannon clatters off the monster’s armor and tumbles down to the ground.
  4496. >”Fall, you son of a bitch!”
  4497. >Dan shouts as he runs up and kicks the leg of the wobbling mechanical monstrosity.
  4498. >Unfortunately, it seems like all Dan is going to get for his trouble is a broken foot as he hops around clutching his shoe, spewing obscenities.
  4499. >But to your surprise, the Heartless finally surrenders to the will of gravity and topples over, throwing up a huge plume of dust as it slams into the ground.
  4500. >The force of the impact sends a chunk of scrap metal flying directly into your chest, knocking you on your ass, but as the dust settles you can see the bright red and black heartless crest sitting a few feet away from your face.
  4501. >And in that moment, a flash of realization strikes you.
  4502. >You’ve just been handed the opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted to do.
  4503. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws3kY2LNPbM
  4504. “Here I go!”
  4505. >You shout as you pick yourself up off the ground and call the Keyblade back into your hand.
  4506. “This blade of mine is burning red, it’s loud roar tells me to grasp victory!”
  4507. >The blade glows red hot as you channel raw elemental fire through the weapon.
  4508. “Erupting! Burning! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!”
  4509. >You shout as you lunge forward, plunging the blazing Keyblade into the MagnoCrusher’s forehead, super-heated chunks of metal whizzing past as you break through the Heartless’s armor.
  4510. “And now… Heat End!”
  4511. >The hole around your Keyblade is smoking as you finish your battle cry and shoot the primed and waiting Fire spell directly into the inner workings of the MagnoCrusher.
  4512. >The mechanical beast roars as you spin around, pulling your Keyblade from the keyhole you just Domon Kasshued into its forehead, and a series of explosions rock the monstrosity from within.
  4513. >In short order, though, the rumbling stops and whatever darkness was holding it together dissipates as the entire robotic body collapses into a pile of junk that you would be hard pressed to believe had ever been capable of moving at all.
  4514. >”You’re a huge fucking nerd, you know that?”
  4515. >Dan says as he and Spike walk up to you from opposite sides of the collapsed robot and a pair of bright, pale, red lights fly out of the newly minted junk pile and off into the sky.
  4516. “So I’ve been told.”
  4517. >You say as you give Spike your customary post-victory high five.
  4518. “So, now that those two are out of the way, we just need to find a car, right?”
  4519. >You say as Dan nods in agreement.
  4520. >”With those two gone, the Heartless don’t really have any reason to come here anymore.”
  4521. >Dan says as he kicks a stray gear fallen off the side of the now ruined Crusher.
  4522. “Well in that case, let’s see what we can turn up.”
  4523. >You say as the three of you head out in search of a sick new set of wheels.
  4524.  
  4525. Victory!
  4526. Final Status
  4527.  
  4528. Anon: HP 12/42 14/60 MP
  4529. Spike HP 18/50 20/30 MP
  4530. Dan 13/30 Bulwark 10/10
  4531. MagnoCrusher -17/200
  4532.  
  4533. >A few hours pass by, and the sun is beginning to dip behind the Heap’s dilapidated excuse for a skyline.
  4534. >”I cannot fucking believe we haven’t managed to find a worthwhile car by now.”
  4535. >Dan groans as the three of you trudge around the seemingly endless expanse of derelict cars littering the landscape.
  4536. “I thought that Stanza we found earlier would have worked fine.”
  4537. >You shrug as Dan turns and glares at you.
  4538. >”And like I said when we found it, I’d rather not risk explosive decompression with the cracked windshield.”
  4539. >”What about that train we came across an hour ago, maybe we can work with that if we can’t find anything else?”
  4540. >Spike chimes in hopefully, but Dan just sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
  4541. >”I’d almost rather risk the Stanza than try and get that thing space worthy.”
  4542. >”Setting aside all the work it would take to get it ship shape, there’s the small problem that we have no way to actually do any of that work.”
  4543. >”Looks like we might just be shit outa luck tonight.”
  4544. >Dan says defeated as he picks up a stray can and throws it down an alleyway formed between two teetering towers of junked cars.
  4545. >The three of you turn to head back when you hear an unusually hollow thunk echo back out of the alleyway.
  4546. >You and Dan look at each other and try to spin around and run down the alleyway, only to trip over yourselves and end up sprawled on the ground in a heap.
  4547. >Spike, meanwhile, turns around and leisurely pokes his head around the corner to see what all the fuss is about.
  4548. >”Huh, how about that. Guys, I think this might be what we’re looking for.”
  4549. >Spike says as he turns back to you and Dan as you pull yourselves up out of the trash go to investigate the find.
  4550. >There, nestled in between the two stacks of cars, is a relatively pristine example of modern American muscle.
  4551. >At least, pristine compared to the other wrecks you’ve seen so far this evening.
  4552. >“No fucking way.”
  4553. >Dan says as the two of you run up to examine the vehicle.
  4554. >Both doors are sitting squarely in their frames and the windows, were it not for the layer of dust and grime covering them, could pass as new.
  4555. >”Looks like we’ve got the seal we’ve been looking for, let’s get this bad boy back to the garage.”
  4556. >Dan says as you continue to examine the car.
  4557. >There are a few dents and dings up around the front fenders, and the hood doesn’t quite sit squarely, but otherwise it seems remarkably intact.
  4558. >Or at least it does until you lay eyes on the center of the hood.
  4559. >There’s a hole in the hood that you assume once made room for a shaker scoop, but you can see through the now vacant hole that this car has no engine at all.
  4560. “I don’t suppose the lack of engine is going to be a problem?”
  4561. >You say pointing to the hole, only for Dan to wave a hand dismissively.
  4562. >”What were we going to use it for in spacem anyway? Just means we’ll have an easier time pushing this thing out of here.”
  4563. “Fair point. Hey, Spike, we’re gonna need you to steer.”
  4564. >You call out to Spike as you throw open the driver’s side door to allow him access.
  4565. >”You do know that’s going to be an absolute bitch without power steering, right?”
  4566. >Dan says as he kicks the tires on your newly discovered Challenger before deeming them worthy enough for the short trip back to the garage.
  4567. “He’s a tough guy, he can handle it. Isn’t that right, buddy?”
  4568. >You ask as Spike throws his lance into the back seat and hops up behind the steering wheel.
  4569. >”You know it, big guy. Handle what though?”
  4570. >He asks as you slam the door shut.
  4571. “Handle the car. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
  4572. >You say as you pantomime a steering motion before joining Dan at the back of the car.
  4573. >”Uh… Guys? I can’t see over the steering wheel.”
  4574. >You hear Spike’s muffled voice calling from inside the car.
  4575. >”Then stand on the damn seat, Spike, this isn’t that hard.”
  4576. >Dan grunts as the two of you brace yourselves against the car’s spoiler and begin to push the vehicle free of its resting place.
  4577. >As the three of you pass the remains of the MagnoCrusher, on the way out of the Magnet’s former lair, you notice something poking out of the Magnet’s housing.
  4578. >The explosions that finished the Heartless off seem to have blown a panel off the side of the Magnet, leaving a bright copper coil wrapped around a thick iron bar exposed.
  4579. >You stop pushing the Challenger and run over to grab the coil.
  4580. >”What do you think you’re doing?”
  4581. >Dan grunts as he lets the car coast to a halt.
  4582. “I wanted a souvenir.”
  4583. >You say as you jog back over to Dan after yanking the coil from its resting place and throw it in the passenger seat.
  4584. >”Whatever, let’s just get back on the road. I’d like to get this fucker back before sunset.”
  4585. >Dan grumbles as the two of you get back to pushing the heavy vehicle to your destination.
  4586. >The rest of your journey is largely uneventful beyond the two times Spike nearly steered the car into a tower of junk, and the one time he actually did and managed to scrape a sizable section of paint off the right side of the vehicle.
  4587. >Fortunately, for the three of you, Spike barely clipped the tower and managed to not bury the only functional vessel you’ve managed to find.
  4588. >By the time the three of you reach the garage with your prize the sun has already set and you’re ready to crawl into a corner and die after pushing the car all this way.
  4589. >Dan staggers to the door and throws the lights on inside the garage before lifting the door and making way for the car to park in an unoccupied bay.
  4590. >”Let’s just roll it inside, and we’ll deal with it in the morning.”
  4591. >Dan groans as the two of you roll it into the bay and pull down the garage door behind it.
  4592. >”Okay, I’m fucking done. Good job not dying today, guys.”
  4593. >Dan says with a yawn as he shuffles down the hall to the office he’s been using as his room.
  4594. >”I think I’m done for the night too.”
  4595. >Spike says as he pops open the door and pulls his lance out of the back seat before making his way back to his broom closet.
  4596. >You shoot your way off world a hopeful glance before you stagger back to your own room, collapse onto your cot, and pass out.
  4597.  
  4598. End Day 5
  4599.  
  4600. >You awaken to the sound of Dan banging on your door.
  4601. >”Wake up, chucklefucks, we got shit to do!”
  4602. >You can hear him shouting from the far side of the door as he bangs on the door to Spike’s broom closet.
  4603. >You groan as you haul yourself out of your cot and stagger into the hallway, only to run into Dan.
  4604. >”Good, you’re up. Start grabbing gummi parts from behind the counter and lugging them back to the garage. I don’t want to spend one more night on this fucking shit heap.”
  4605. >You’d normally have an issue with Dan’s tone, but frankly you share the angry little man’s sentiment.
  4606. >You have absolutely no interest in spending another day in this shithole.
  4607. >So you just grunt sleepily and shoot the pint-sized engineer a thumbs up before making your way up to the front of the gas station.
  4608. >Behind the counter you find a couple of almost comically stereotypical rocket engines with the word Fira-G engraved on the side.
  4609. >In addition to the rockets, you discover what look to be a pair of large guns inscribed with the word Thunder-G along the length of their barrels.
  4610. >Finally, you find a pair of long white triangular gummies completely devoid of any kind of marking along with a handful of simple cube-shaped blocks that don’t seem to have any kind of discernible purpose.
  4611. >You’ll have to ask Dan about what those are even good for, you think to yourself as you pick up one of the peculiar basketball-sized blocks.
  4612. >You tuck the cube under your arm and grab a second one before making your way back to the garage with your first load.
  4613. “So the rockets and the guns are kind of self-explanatory, but what do these do exactly?”
  4614. >You ask Dan as you toss the pair of slightly rubbery cubes to the garage floor as a bleary-eyed Spike stumbles into the room behind you.
  4615. >”These are those structural blocks I mentioned the other day.”
  4616. >”Think of them like a Lego brick, they serve as both armor, and an attachment point for all the other parts one might find.”
  4617. “Armor how? They don’t feel particularly durable.”
  4618. >You say as you poke one of the cubes and the pliant material yields to your touch.
  4619. >”Armor like this.”
  4620. >Dan says as he grabs his wrench off of the work table and slams it down on the cube with all of his might, only to be practically thrown back by the recoil of the impact.
  4621. “Huh. Well how about that.”
  4622. >You say as you look down incredulously at the still quivering cube.
  4623. “But how do we actually attach these things to our ride? It’s not like we have a gummi welder or anything.”
  4624. >You ask as Spike pulls up a crate and begins listening intently.
  4625. >”Well… they just kind of stick where you want them too.”
  4626. >Dan says as he picks up the cube and sticks it to the side of the Challenger, in front of the rear wheelwell without so much as dab of glue to hold it in place.
  4627. >“Like so. Try and knock it off.”
  4628. >Dan says as he gestures to the cube hanging off the side of the car.
  4629. >You shrug and call the Keyblade to your hand before hauling off and smacking the cube, only to be spun around and knocked on your ass as the force of the blow is redirected back at you.
  4630. “Ugh, I see what you mean.”
  4631. >Spike tries his best to suppress a laugh as you dust yourself off, but ultimately fails.
  4632. >”Oh man, that was priceless, I can’t wait to tell Twilight about this.”
  4633. >The dragon giggles gleefully as he shovels the contents of a can of ravioli into his face.
  4634. “Oh yeah, tough guy? Let’s see you give it a try.”
  4635. >You say, pointing to Spike’s lance in the corner, only for the little dragon to hold his hands up in surrender.
  4636. >”No way, man, I don’t need to test the magic cube; if Dan says they’ll work I believe him.”
  4637. >Spike says as he takes another bite.
  4638. >”My question is, if it was this easy to rig up, why didn’t we do it last night and hit the road?”
  4639. >Dan nods and kicks the second cube that’s still sitting on the floor.
  4640. >”Yeah, putting the ship parts in place is going to be easy.”
  4641. >He says before dumping out the contents from your raid on the Axiom on his workbench.
  4642. >“The hard part is going to be rigging up the controls and the power supply.”
  4643. >Dan says as he gestures to the guts pulled from the crashed starship.
  4644. >”So, as I said earlier, we go shit to do!”
  4645. >Dan shouts shooing the two of you out of the garage for another load of hardware.
  4646. >For a while, the work flies by as you and Spike haul parts back to the garage and help Dan stick them to the body of the car.
  4647. >Before long, you’ve built a framework out of the gummi blocks in front of the rear wheels and attached an engine on each side like a pair of ghetto warp nacelles.
  4648. “Nice, this is actually starting to look like a space ship.”
  4649. >You say, admiring your handiwork as you and Spike carry in one of the Thunder-G blocks.
  4650. >”Yeah, we’ve got a way to go before it’ll fly like one, though.”
  4651. >Dan calls from within the car as he tries to piggyback the Axiom’s hardware onto the significantly less sophisticated computers built into the Challenger.
  4652. >The two of you nod and attach the first Thunder-G on top of the Fira-G’s housing.
  4653. >As the two of you are carrying the second gun into the garage, the muffled boom of a nearby explosion shakes the room.
  4654. >”Oh shit, that was one of the anti-personnel mines.”
  4655. >Dan says as he pops of the car and runs over to the door leading out of the garage.
  4656. “You had anti-personnel mines this whole time?”
  4657. >You start to shout as you follow Dan to the door, but the question dies when you see the Heartless approaching the building.
  4658. >At least twenty Shadows that you can see, accompanied by ten Soldiers, but that isn’t the worst of it.
  4659. >Leading the pack is a pair of the yellow hazmat-suited Heartless and one of the deceptively frail supermen that dick-punched you into low orbit the day before.
  4660. >They’re still a decent distance from the station, but they’ll be on you soon.
  4661. “Uh, I think that we might have a problem here, Dan.”
  4662. >You say as you summon the Mysterious Stranger and get ready to fight.
  4663. >”Nah, fuck that shit, we’re fine. I’ve been waiting for these stupid fucks to try something like this.”
  4664. >Dan says as he pushes your Keyblade aside and goes over to grab the Thunder-G and hefts it over to the garage door.
  4665. >”Grab me one of those scream canisters and the power supply, would ya?”
  4666. >Dan grunts as he slaps a couple pieces of rebar onto the shipboard weapon to use as impromptu handles.
  4667. >You comply as you run over to grab the two components and hustle them back over to the angry little engineer.
  4668. >”See, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but it’s really too big to take out into the field, so I never got a chance to actually pull it off.”
  4669. >Dan says as he slaps the scream canister onto the side of the rapid fire cannon, connects the power supply like a trigger at the base of one of the handles, and runs a hose from it over to the nozzle on the canister.
  4670. >”But now that they’ve come to us, we can really cut loose.”
  4671. >Dan says as he throws up the garage door and hefts the homemade minigun up off the floor and sticks it down on a spare gummi block, anchoring it to the ground.
  4672. >”Let’s get nuts.”
  4673. >A manic grin creeps across Dan’s face as he throws a switch on the power supply, sending energy flowing to the gun.
  4674. >Only for nothing to happen.
  4675. >”You forgot to open the valve on the canister.”
  4676. >Spike says as he reaches out and twists the valve, and in an instant, the roar of cannon fire fills the room as the gun blazes to life chewing up the wave of advancing Heartless as Dan laughs maniacly.
  4677. >”Say hello to my little friend!”
  4678. >Dan shouts with glee as the Heartless burst left and right until Dan finally shuts off power to the gun.
  4679. >”Ahhhh, man, that was good.”
  4680. >Dan says, wiping a tear of joy from his eye as the dust begins to settle.
  4681. >”I’ll leave you two the cannon, pick off any stragglers, I’m going to go get back to work.”
  4682. >Dan says as he drops the gun and crawls underneath the Challenger.
  4683. >”You think he got them all?”
  4684. >Spike asks as he peers out into the smoke.
  4685. “Yeah, I think so. Wait no, looks like he missed one.”
  4686. >You reply as you try and squint through the settling dust.
  4687. >As the smoke clears you see the lone survivor and you feel a knot form in your stomach.
  4688. >”Oh… shit. We may have goofed on this one, Spike.”
  4689. >Standing there in the middle of the clearing is the rippling frame of a fully empowered Fallen Hero.
  4690.  
  4691. Anon vs. the Hero round 2
  4692.  
  4693. >Anon 42/42 HP 60/60 MP
  4694. >Spike 50/50 HP 30/30 MP
  4695.  
  4696. Fallen Hero, One for All charges 4, power charges 10
  4697. HP 60/60
  4698.  
  4699. “Uh, Dan, we got a supersized kind of problem out here. Where exactly are those mines you mentioned?”
  4700. >You shout back towards the Challenger, but clearly Dan can’t really hear what you’re saying when he shouts back.
  4701. >”Yeah, I can’t wait to get a supersize fry when we get out of here too.”
  4702. >Looks like you’re on your own locating the anti-personnel mines.
  4703. >Fortunately, when you scan the battle field, you discover that Dan didn’t exactly do the best job hiding the mines.
  4704. >In fact, you’d have to be a mindless beast not to recognize at least one.
  4705. >Either that or blind drunk.
  4706. “Ok, Spike, I know it’s just the two of us, but I think between the mines and the minigun we have this under control.”
  4707. >You say as you point out the three mines you can see poking up out of the trash littering the field.
  4708. “So what I’m going to need you to do is get on the Thunder-G and use it to corral the Heartless into the mines after I lead it close.”
  4709. >You say as you throw Spike on the back of the gun and summon your Keyblade.
  4710. >”Uhhh, if you say so, Anon, but what about you?”
  4711. >Your Keyblade glows bright red as you spin a Bulwark of glowing cinders to protect yourself.
  4712. “Just don’t hit me, I guess.”
  4713. >You say with a shrug and stride out onto the field, waving your Keyblade at the Heartless.
  4714. “Hey, come get me you fucking knockoff!”
  4715. >You shout as you run towards the nearest mine.
  4716. >The Heartless’ eyes flash as it breathes deep and dashes towards you, answering your challenge.
  4717. >You raise your Keyblade to block its blow, but the Heartless stops short and blows an icy gale your direction.
  4718. >The ground crackles and freezes around you, but your sizzling Bulwark holds the frost at bay.
  4719. “Spike, hit him now!”
  4720. >You shout as Spike unloads on the superpowered Heartless.
  4721. >The Heartless wheels around, unleashing a torrent of its freezing breath into the hail of gunfire, robbing the storm of lead of enough energy to do nothing more than force the Heartless to slowly retreat.
  4722. >Fortunately, that retreat leads it directly into the first of Dan’s anti-personnel mines.
  4723. >The force of the explosion leaves the Heartless’s body in tatters, but as it teeters and begins to fall it’s eyes flash again, activating a new ability.
  4724. >Before your eyes the beast's shredded body begins to knit itself back together, and in a matter of seconds the near destroyed Heartless stands before you whole.
  4725. “Huh, guess that explains how it survived the minigun.”
  4726.  
  4727. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4728.  
  4729. >Anon 42/42 HP 52/60 MP
  4730. >Spike 50/50 HP 30/30 MP
  4731.  
  4732. Fallen Hero, One for All charges 3, power charges 7
  4733. HP 43/60
  4734.  
  4735. >After the way the ice breath dissolved your defenses, you don’t really have time to be standing around marveling at the Fallen Hero’s healing factor.
  4736. >You need a new wall up if you don’t want to be put on another express train to the moon.
  4737. “Thunder Bulwark.”
  4738. >You mutter to yourself as your Keyblade glows yellow before swinging it across your body, emitting a snap discharge of static electricity that crackles and pops as it floats at the ready.
  4739. “You’ll never catch me, Superman!”
  4740. >You shout in your best Gene Hackman impression as you sprint towards the next mine.
  4741. >For a moment, it looks like you’re going to outrun the Heartless and hop over the mine, putting you in the perfect position to set it off in the monster’s face.
  4742. >But you only think that because you’re too busy running to notice the Hero’s eyes flash as it activates a new superpower.
  4743. >”Anon, look out!”
  4744. >You hear Spike shout from the garage, and you look back over your shoulder only to see the Heartless’s hand outstretched impossibly large, ready to envelope you in its distorted grasp.
  4745. >The Heartless is still some 15 feet behind you, but whatever power it’s using now has allowed it to pull a full on Plastic Man and stretch its arm out to grab you while, at the same time, stretching its hand to the point it can crush your whole body in its grip.
  4746. >You thrash and struggle, trying to break free of its grip, but the super strength it has in this muscular form still seems to apply no matter how thin it stretches itself.
  4747. >Your vision starts to go hazy as it crushes the air from your lungs, when suddenly a hail of gunfire from the garage blows the Heartless’s grotesquely twisted hand clean off its body.
  4748. >The hand evaporates in a flash of black smoke as you fall to your knees coughing.
  4749. ”Good looking out, Spike.”
  4750. >You wheeze as you flash a thumbs up at the dragon.
  4751. >The Heartless, meanwhile, simply shapes a new hand at the end of its arm using its temporarily infinite malleability.
  4752.  
  4753. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4754.  
  4755. Anon 42/42 HP 44/60 MP Thunder Bulwark 1/10
  4756. Spike 50/50 HP 30/30 MP
  4757.  
  4758. Fallen Hero, One for All charges 2, power charges 6
  4759. HP 37/60
  4760.  
  4761. >You take a deep breath and pull yourself back to your feet as you begin funneling power into your Keyblade.
  4762. >The weapon begins to smoke and smolder as you point it at the Heartless, its tip glowing red hot as the magical charge reaches its peak.
  4763. “Fire!”
  4764. >You shout as you sling a fireball at the Fallen Hero, only for it to fly wide and crash into a nearby pile of trash where the ball of magical fire unceremoniously sputters out.
  4765. “Well shit.”
  4766. >You mutter as you turn tail and leap over the top of the second mine as the Fallen Hero follows in hot pursuit and blunders directly into the triggering mechanism.
  4767. >An eardrum-rending explosion bursts from the little mine, sending a hail of nuts bolts and screws ripping through the Heartless.
  4768. >The Fallen Hero manages to stay on its feet this time though, as its rubber physiology allows it to weather the blow without much difficulty.
  4769. >The Heartless glares at you, its eyes flashing as the monstrous parody of a superhero crouches low to the ground, the trash and dust swirling around it before it shoots forward both fists outstretched as it hurtles towards you.
  4770. >You try to dive out of the way, but the flying Heartless catches you in the chest with both fists; the force of the blow rips through the last of your static protective field and crashes into your ribs, sending you sprawling to the ground as the Fallen Hero arcs up into the sky where it comes to a stop, gazing down on the battlefield below.
  4771. >”Anon, you need to get it back down on the ground. I can’t aim that high.”
  4772. >You vaguely hear Spike calling to you as you try and catch your breath from your position sprawled in the trash.
  4773. “Yeah, sure, I can do that.”
  4774. >You groan as you suck in a breath and stagger back to your feet.
  4775. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4776.  
  4777. Anon 27/42 HP 39/60 mp
  4778. Spike 50/50HP 30/30 mp
  4779.  
  4780. Fallen Hero, One for All charges 1, power charges 5
  4781. HP 29/60
  4782.  
  4783. >You pop the top of your trusty bottle of aspirin, and you immediately feel the sharp pain of getting double fisted in the chest fade to a dull ache as you knock back a pill.
  4784. >You look around the battlefield and try and come up with a way to lure the Heartless down into range for Spike’s gun that doesn’t involve it stomping you into a grease stain in the process.
  4785. >Unfortunately, nothing comes to mind beyond taunting it into an attack and hoping you can get out of the way.
  4786. “Oh man, this is going to fucking suck.”
  4787. >You mutter as jog over to get in place behind the final mine.
  4788. >If this is the end, might as well take the fucker with you, you think to yourself as you take a deep breath and prepare for your final gambit.
  4789. “Autism, guide my hand.”
  4790. >You whisper to yourself as you slowly exhale and slap your hands together before pointing up at the Heartless.
  4791. “Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods?”
  4792. >You begin belting out Holding Out for a Hero as you shuck and jive with as much fury as your battered body can muster.
  4793. “Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?”
  4794. >You croon as you point to the sky again, daring the Heartless to come at you.
  4795. >You don’t even make it to the refrain before the Fallen Hero answers your challenge.
  4796. >The Heartless launches itself through the air with a burst of acceleration before its eyes flash again as it tumbles into a dual hammer blow position.
  4797. >As the Heartless hurtles towards you, its body is swiftly plated with overlapping bands of gleaming chrome steel that begin to glow red hot with the mounting atmospheric friction being exerted on the Heartless as it picks up speed.
  4798. “Isn’t there a white knight upon a HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”
  4799. >You shout as you look up, seeing the burning steel comet streaking towards you at a blistering speed.
  4800. >You dive backwards, trying to avoid getting crushed by the steely Heartless comet, and while you succeed in not being directly under the Heartless when it falls, the force of the impact still flings you back several feet before you finally tumble to a halt.
  4801. >Fortunately, you weren’t the only one tossed around in the impact, the final anti-personnel mine bounces right up to the Heartless’s eye level before detonating, blasting the monster’s head with a hail of scrap metal.
  4802. >Unfortunately, the gleaming steel exoskeleton seems to absorb the brunt of the blow and the Heartless seems unfazed.
  4803. >The full metal Heartless turns towards you and begins to slowly swagger your direction, and it occurs to you that maybe you didn’t really think this one through.
  4804. >”Yeaaaaaaahh! Get some!”
  4805. >Suddenly you hear Spike shout from behind you, followed immediately by a hail of gunfire that drives back the advancing Heartless.
  4806. >You had almost forgotten that this had all been for the sake of bringing the Heartless in range of Spike’s gun, fortunately Spike had no such issue.
  4807. >When the gunfire finally stops the Heartless is standing still, it’s dented armor hanging loosely off its body as though the frame that was supporting them inside no longer existed.
  4808. >As you pull yourself to your feet the steel plates begin to fall to the ground one by one, revealing the Fallen Hero in its natural emaciated form.
  4809. >As you look at the frail Heartless emerge from its steel chrysalis, you can’t help but grin despite your pain.
  4810. “Pay back time.”
  4811. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4812.  
  4813. Anon 20/42 HP 39/60 mp
  4814. Spike 50/50HP 30/30 mp
  4815.  
  4816. Fallen Hero, power charges 4
  4817. HP 18/60
  4818.  
  4819. >You have just the payback in mind for this stratosphere dickpunching prick as you charge behind the emaciated Heartless.
  4820. “Let’s see how you like getting pushed around!”
  4821. >You shout, your Keyblade humming with raw magic as you wind up and swing away, smashing your weapon into the Heartless’s ribcage, sending it tumbling through the air.
  4822. >But before the Heartless can crash into the ground its eyes flash, and suddenly you’re the one flying through the air tumbling end over end before you ultimately crash into the ground about 30 feet from Spike’s machine gun nest.
  4823. >You wince as you sit up with a fresh set of cuts and bruises, glaring at the Heartless, its feet firmly planted where yours were only a few seconds ago.
  4824. “You’ve got to be kidding me right now.”
  4825. >You groan as you haul yourself back to your feet before turning to Spike and shouting.
  4826. “Light this fool up, I’m sick of looking at him!”
  4827. >”You got it, big guy!”
  4828. >Spike shouts back as another hail of indiscriminate gunfire roars past you.
  4829. >But just as the rounds are about to hit home, the Heartless’s eyes flash again and blazing beams of crimson light lash out from behind the Fallen Hero’s mask and vaporize most of the incoming bullets.
  4830. >Still, a few rounds manage to slip past the Heartless’s furious gaze and tear through its gaunt frame, sending it staggering to its knees as its eye beams flicker out.
  4831. “Just one more push, Spike, we’ve got him on the ropes!”
  4832. >You shout as you tighten your grip on the Keyblade and get ready for your final clash with the cornered Heartless.
  4833. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4834.  
  4835. Anon 14/42 HP 39/60 mp
  4836. Spike 50/50HP 30/30 mp
  4837.  
  4838. Fallen Hero, power charges 2
  4839. HP 4/60
  4840.  
  4841. >You focus on your Keyblade and its tip begins to glow the telltale crackling yellow light that leads up to a Thunder spell.
  4842. >But before you get a chance to go full Papa Sheev on its ass, the Heartless’s eyes glow and in the blink of an eye it closes the distance between you, the trash on the ground swirling in the wake of its sudden burst of speed.
  4843. >The Heartless moves so swiftly that you don’t even feel the distinct punches as it unleashes a flurry of body blows that nearly breaks your concentration and banishes the spell you’re trying to cast.
  4844. >But you grit your teeth as you force your way through the pain, and your Keyblade continues to glow a bright electrical yellow as you hold onto the magic you’ve brought to bear.
  4845. >As the Fallen Hero’s super speed expends the last of its stored energy, and its rapid barrage of punches slows to a single limp wristed punch that you easily sidestep, you raise the Mysterious Stranger to the sky.
  4846. “Let’s see you outrun a bolt of lightning.”
  4847. >You growl, your Keyblade flashing and the sky darkening as you call down a volley of pure electrical fury from the heavens.
  4848. >With no reserves left to draw on the feeble would-be superhero has no way of avoiding your thundering onslaught and disappears in a cascade of electricity as your magic consumes it, leaving behind nothing but a bright red light floating off into the distance.
  4849. “Those things have no business being that tough.”
  4850. >You wheeze as you fall to your knees, as the hail of punches directly to the torso catches up with you.
  4851. >”Oh gosh, Anon are you okay?”
  4852. >Spike shouts as he jumps off the gun and runs over to try and help you up.
  4853. >He isn’t particularly successful in that regard, being two feet tall, but you still appreciate the gesture.
  4854. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just need to catch my breath.”
  4855. >You groan as you rise shakily to your feet and shuffle back into the garage.
  4856. >Once the two of you are inside, you throw the garage door down and practically fall down onto one of the old crates you’ve been using as a chair.
  4857. >”Oh hey guys, back already? Have fun with the minigun?”
  4858. >Dan says as he slides out from under the Challenger and sees the two of you have returned.
  4859. “No, can’t really say that I did.”
  4860. >”Yeah, it was a blast.”
  4861. >You and Spike reply in unison as you shoot Spike a dirty look.
  4862. >”What? The machine gun was fun, you should have tried it.”
  4863. >You’re about to go off on the little dragon, but then you realize that it was in fact your idea to go toe-to-toe with Superman as a squishy-ass wizard when you had a perfectly tanky dragon you could have supported from the sidelines with spells and machine gun fire.
  4864. “Ehhh, fair point.”
  4865. >You sigh as you get up and fumble around for a bottle of water.
  4866. “So Dan, what’s our ETA on getting out of this dump for good?”
  4867. >Dan rubs his scraggly goatee as he tries to come up with a response.
  4868. >”Well, I think I got the controls down while you two were playing with the gun, now I just need to set up navigation and our fuel supply.”
  4869. Dan says as he pops the trunk and pulls up the mat covering the car battery.
  4870. >”If we swap the battery out for the power supply we looted from the van, we should be able to rig up the canisters in the trunk no problem. Then it’s just a matter of running power from the power supply to the engines.”
  4871. >Dan explains as he pulls the power supply off the top of the Thunder-G and walks it back over to the Challenger.
  4872. >”So I figure maybe a couple hours tops and then we’re out of here.”
  4873. >You nod as you glance around the garage.
  4874. >Is there anything you need to take care of before the three of you hit the road?
  4875.  
  4876. Anon vs. the Hero Round 2
  4877.  
  4878. Anon 5/42 HP 39/60 mp
  4879. Spike 50/50HP 30/30 mp
  4880.  
  4881. Fallen Hero, power charges 0
  4882. HP -7/60
  4883.  
  4884. “Well, if there’s anything I can do to help get the car ship shape, let me know, otherwise I’m going to do some homework on this whole magic thing.”
  4885. >You say as you tap on the cover of Twilight’s journal and slump back onto a crate to begin reading.
  4886. >”Don’t worry about me; you’d probably just end up breaking something anyway.”
  4887. >Dan replies as he removes the car’s battery and begins the work of installing the vehicle’s new power supply.
  4888. “Fair enough, it’s not like I know anything about turning a car into a space ship.”
  4889. >You say as you crack open the notes and start to flip to the section on Ice magic before a thought occurs to you and you snap the book shut.
  4890. “Wait, how do you know how to do any of this?”
  4891. >You ask curious as to how an angry manlet from Burbank came to possess the knowledge necessary for this kind of project.
  4892. >”Well, the short version is my mechanic was stealing parts from my car to use in this giant robot fighting ring.”
  4893. >Dan says as he tightens the bolts attaching the power supply to the car with the casual attitude of someone who didn’t just say the thing he said.
  4894. >”Turns out Mechanic Mike had bet the business on these fights, so I ended up helping him build my car into a robot to win the business back for Mike in exchange for free repairs for life.”
  4895. >You cock an eyebrow in disbelief.
  4896. “I may not have all my memories, but I’m fairly certain giant robots weren’t a thing on Earth.”
  4897. >You say incredulously as you flip back to the note’s section on Ice magic.
  4898. >”Maybe on your Earth, but I can guarantee that story is 100% true.”
  4899. >Dan raves before storming off after some hosing to rig up a feed system for the canisters.
  4900. >You just roll your eyes and get back to work on the final element in Twilight’s notes.
  4901. >Twilight opens the section on Ice magic by pointing out that, while physically less dangerous than the other two forms of raw elemental magic she has been experimenting with, Ice magic has a propensity to slow down individuals touched by it.
  4902. >In extreme cases it can even freeze ponies solid, so be sure to take proper precautions when studying this form of magic and not get complacent because you can’t accidentally burn your house down when studying it.
  4903. >You make a mental note re: trying to freeze a Heartless solid before continuing on.
  4904. >Twilight next warns that Ice magic, when uncontrolled, tends to burst forth from its source in a wide spread cone of freezing ice crystals or, in a worst case scenario when a caster loses focus halfway through the spell, shoots out in a single large chunk ripping through anything in its path.
  4905. >As you dig into the meat and potatoes on calling up elemental Ice, you can’t help but think that for a pony not interested in causing harm, Twilight is coming up with some awfully effective combat spells.
  4906. >By the time you get through with the primer on ice magic Dan is loading the trunk of the Challenger with the last of the scream canisters.
  4907. >”Well, that’s the easy part done. Now I just need to run power to all the systems that weren’t originally part of the car in some way.”
  4908. >Dan groans as he collects a spool of thick black electrical cable.
  4909. “Well, that was significantly less time consuming than I had hoped.”
  4910. >You mutter to yourself as you pocket the notes.
  4911. >As you sit there, trying to think of a new way to occupy your time, the Magnet Coil you picked up yesterday catches your eye, sitting in the front seat of the Challenger.
  4912. >And as the gleaming copper coil sits there, shining away under the dim lights in Dan’s workshop, a thought crosses your mind.
  4913. >You already know how to generate electricity magically.
  4914. >What potential paths could such understanding unlock for you? You wonder as you walk over and pick up the coil.
  4915. >Discovering a way to manipulate magnetism for a start?
  4916. “Maybe it’s time I started thinking about coming up with some magic of my own.”
  4917. >You muse as you pick up the Coil, the cool metal heavy in your hands as the gears in your head begin to turn.
  4918. >”You’re going to start making your own spells? Radical.”
  4919. >You jump as Spike pipes up behind you, mostly hidden behind the box full of old cassette tapes the little dragon is carrying over to load into the back seat.
  4920. “Jesus, little guy, you gotta be careful about sneaking up on people like that.”
  4921. >You say, trying to get over the heart palpitations as you pull the seat forward and help the dragon load up your tunes.
  4922. >”Shouldn’t be a problem, that was the last thing that we needed to load up.”
  4923. >Spike says, and sure enough, after a second look, you can see boxes of canned goods and water loaded into the back seat as well.
  4924. “Looks like we’re about ready to hit the road, thanks for doing all the heavy lifting while I was studying, little guy.”
  4925. >You say with a grin as the two of you take a seat near the car.
  4926. >“No problem, I know figuring out the Keyblade is important.”
  4927. >Spike says as he rummages around in a bag near his chair and pulls out a slightly damaged scroll and quill.
  4928. >”I was thinking. Since we’re about to leave, maybe we ought to try and let the Princess know how we’re doing.”
  4929. >Somehow it doesn’t surprise you that writing supplies would be something Spike packed for this mission.
  4930. >You think about it for a moment, and while you’re not really sure how this particular spell works, you doubt that it’s something that reaches all the way to wherever Celestia is.
  4931. >Then again, it might run off of quantum entanglement and distance might be a complete non-issue.
  4932. “Why not? Can’t be any harm in trying, right?”
  4933. >After all If the spell fails, you're just out a piece of parchment and, judging by the dragon’s grin, the morale boost is more than enough reason to make an attempt.
  4934. >You sit there for a few seconds, waiting for Spike to start writing, but the little dragon only looks at you expectantly.
  4935. “Oh, you want me too… Okay give me a second.”
  4936. >You say, pointing to yourself as you realize Spike is expecting you to dictate a letter as you’ve seen Twilight do so many times in the past.
  4937. >After taking a few seconds to gather your thoughts you clear your throat and begin.
  4938. “Dear Princess Celestia,”
  4939. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but the plan kind of went completely sideways.”
  4940. “Someone in a black cloak wrecked our balloon as we were leaving Equestria.”
  4941. “We managed to make it off-world, but as a result of the attack we’ve been scattered.”
  4942. “On the bright side, apparently I'm the new owner of something called a Keyblade that's supposed to be able to fix this mess.”
  4943. “I’ve managed to find Spike, but the others are still missing.”
  4944. “We’ve also managed to find a particularly angry little man named Dan who is helping us with our transportation problem.”
  4945. “With his help we're gonna find the girls, then we’re going to come home and fix everything.”
  4946. “If this does manage to reach you, Spike and I look forward to your reply and any advice you’re able to give us.”
  4947. “Your local human, and Keyblade wielder,”
  4948. “Anon.”
  4949. “Okay, Spike, that ought to do it.”
  4950. >You say as Spike nods and seals the scroll before enveloping it in a small gout of emerald flame.
  4951. >”Wait, you know a Princess?”
  4952. >You hear Dan blurt as he pops his head out from under the car.
  4953. “And you apparently built a giant robot out of your car. How is this shocking to you?”
  4954. >You say as Dan crawls completely free of the vehicle and unceremoniously jabs the end of a power cable into the car’s gummi engine.
  4955. >”If you think the robot thing is shocking, wait till you hear about the time I got into a blood feud with Canada.”
  4956. >It takes you a few seconds for your brain to process what it was that Dan just said as the little man piles into the back seat and attaches a monitor from the Axiom to a line leading back to the power supply.
  4957. “What kind of life do you lead exactly?”
  4958. >You ask as you lean against the car’s frame and the panels inside flicker to life.
  4959. >”The kind that’s going to get us off this shit heap.”
  4960. >Dan says with a grin as Otto’s eye flickers to life, his core crudely taped to the top of the cassette deck Dan has bolted to the center of the car’s dashboard and wired into the audio system.
  4961. [THIS VESSLE IS READY TO DEPART, CAPTAIN.]
  4962. >The AI says after booting up with a familiar chime.
  4963. “Oh snap, are we ready to go?”
  4964. >Dan nods as he pulls his console into his lap.
  4965. >”Yup, and you’re driving. I need to stay back here and make sure we don’t blow the engines. Now roll this bad boy out so we can get this show on the road.”
  4966. >In short order, you and Spike have the car rolled out into the clearing in front of the gas station, and after a quick trip back to the supply closet to pick up what few belongings you have, the two of you pile into the Challenger, ready to depart on your interstellar journey.
  4967. >You press the ignition button and the engines roar to life as the fins attached to the sides of the thrusters lower into position.
  4968. “Okay, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
  4969. >”Wait! Wait!”
  4970. >You freeze as Dan shouts in your ear from the back seat.
  4971. “What? What? Are the engines melting down or something?”
  4972. >You shout, your knuckles blanching as you grip the steering wheel.
  4973. [NEGATIVE, CAPTAIN. SYSTEM READS AS OPTIMAL.]
  4974. >Otto replies and you release your death grip on the steering wheel.
  4975. “Then what is it?”
  4976. >Dan simply reaches over your shoulder and slides a tape into the cassette deck.
  4977. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQo1HIcSVtg
  4978. >”Okay, now we can go.”
  4979. >Dan says as a guitar riff reverberates out of the car’s speakers.
  4980. “If this song weren’t so appropriate I’d kick your ass, Dan.”
  4981. >You say with a grin as you slam the gas pedal to the floor, pinning the three of you to your seats as you roar up and away from The Heap, breaking free of the world’s atmosphere just as the song reaches its refrain.
  4982.  
  4983. ~The Heap~
  4984.  
  4985. “Okay, this is starting to get ridiculous.”
  4986. >You say bleary-eyed and practically hanging off the steering wheel as you struggle to stay awake.
  4987. >It’s been several hours since the three of you left the Heap, and the fun of your box of cassettes and shocking Spike with the dirtiest jokes you and Dan can think of has finally been eroded by the crushing monotony of the infinite star-specked blackness the three of you find yourselves passing through.
  4988. “What gives, I thought you said the way between worlds was dangerous? Where are the fleets of Heartless ships and interstellar labyrinths you were talking about a few hours ago? ”
  4989. >You ask with an accusatory gesture at the void beyond the windshield.
  4990. >”I don’t know, I thought for sure we’d have gotten into a dog fight. or had to navigate an asteroid field, or something by now.”
  4991. >Dan groans as he sits upright in the back seat.
  4992. >”Maybe the Heap is so far out in the sticks that none of the things the legends mentioned applied.”
  4993. “Either that or your legends weren’t literal and we went into this woefully underprepared.”
  4994. >You say with a sigh as you tap the fuel gauge on the dash nervously.
  4995. >”Nah, they were pretty specific about gummi blocks, I don’t think-“
  4996. [CAPTAIN, SENSORS DETECT AN INCOMING OBJECT ON A COLLISION COURSE WITH THIS VESSEL. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE EVASIVE ACTION.]
  4997. >Otto cuts Dan off in the middle of whatever he was about to say, prompting you you yank the wheel to the right, sending the Challenger into a sharp roll.
  4998. >The force of the turn makes the car shudder and shake as a huge asteroid shoots past just beneath the Challenger’s frame and glides silently into the distance, as though it didn’t nearly smash the three of you unceremoniously into oblivion.
  4999. >”Well, that wasn’t a dog fight, but at least it was something. Think we might be getting close to populated space?”
  5000. >Dan asks as you bring the car back under control and the two of you watch the asteroid float away.
  5001. >”Hey, what’s that?”
  5002. >Spike says with a yawn as he wakes up from his nap, somehow managing to have slept through your near miss.
  5003. “It’s just a stray asteroid, don’t worry about it.”
  5004. >You say dismissively, no need to freak the little guy out now that the danger has already passed.
  5005. >”No, I mean that white thing over there.”
  5006. >Spike says as he points to a small white dot off in the distance, slightly off the path of the asteroid’s trajectory.
  5007. “What are you talking about, that’s just a star, right?”
  5008. >You ask staring at the dot.
  5009. >But as you stare at it the dot seems to be slowly deforming from a white spec into an increasingly larger white blob.
  5010. “What the?”
  5011. >You pull your Wolf’s Eye out of a pocket and pull it on over your eye before examining the spot in the distance again.
  5012. >As your vision snaps forward through the emerald green tint of the jewel, the truth becomes apparent.
  5013. >The white dot in the distance is some kind of space station.
  5014. “Guys, I think we’re saved.”
  5015. >You say as you pull off the eyepatch and hand the jewel to Spike.
  5016. >”I don’t get it, what is it?”
  5017. >Spike says after peering through the gem before handing it off to Dan.
  5018. >”That, tiny Chris, is a space station and the answers to our prayers.”
  5019. >Dan says with a grin as he passes the eyepatch back to you.
  5020. >”I’m still not following here, guys.”
  5021. >Spike says as he looks back and forth between you and Dan, confused.
  5022. “It’s like a port city built in space to support spaceships. We can get fresh food and a place to sleep.”
  5023. >You say, your mind turning to rest again now that the rush from the near miss is wearing off.
  5024. >”Not only that, we’ll be able to pick up some navigation information, so we aren’t flying around blind.”
  5025. >Dan chimes in as you change course for the station off in the distance.
  5026. “Dan, how are we looking on fuel?”
  5027. >You ask, drumming your fingers on the wheel as you eye the ship’s throttle.
  5028. >”We’ve still got most of what we started with.”
  5029. >Dan replies as he checks the monitor he rigged up to keep track of the Challenger’s new systems.
  5030. “Then I’m putting the hammer down. I’m a hundred and ten percent done with this Lost in Space routine.”
  5031. >”No! Stretch, wait!”
  5032. >Dan tries to shout, but a shrieking cacophony erupts out of the back seat, drowning him out as you yank back on the gear shifter, turned throttle, and launch the ship forward past the stray asteroid towards your new destination.
  5033. >The three of you are pinned back in your seats by the sudden acceleration, and in a matter of minutes the space station begins to loom over your relatively tiny vehicle.
  5034. >You throw the throttle forward, and the shrieking in the trunk dies as you step on the brakes, firing the car’s retro rockets, and slowing your approach.
  5035. >”Like I was about to say before you slammed on the gas like that, the feed system I was able to rig up on the canisters isn’t exactly super stable.”
  5036. >Dan says as he holds the display panel up for you to see, showing a fuel gauge sitting at about 10 percent that was hovering near 70 a few minutes ago.
  5037. >”It wasn’t built to just be blown open full throttle.”
  5038. >Dan says, tossing the readout in the seat next to him as he throws up his hands.
  5039. “Oh… well, no big deal, right? We can refuel when we dock at the station.”
  5040. >You say, momentarily shaken by the fact that you just wasted more than half your fuel in the space of a few minutes.
  5041. >”Yeah, maybe. Provided they even let us dock, and it’s not some kind of military installation where they shoot us on sight.”
  5042. >Dan says as he crosses his arms and sulks in the back seat.
  5043. >”Wait, they might shoot us?”
  5044. >Spike asks as he shoots up in his seat, alarmed at Dan's prediction.
  5045. “No, Dan’s just being a pessimistic dick like always.”
  5046. >You say, trying to put the little dragon at ease.
  5047. >Still, you can’t help but feel a weight form in the pit of your stomach as you fly closer and closer to the station.
  5048. [THE STATION IS ATTEMPTING TO HAIL US, CAPTAIN. I AM ATTEMPTING TO DETERMINE THE FREQUENCY NOW.]
  5049. >Otto interjects as your radio crackles to life, and Otto begins flipping through the AM bands searching for the station’s signal.
  5050. >After a few seconds, a voice emerges from the static.
  5051. >”-ance. Attention, unidentified vessel, you are approaching Star Command special outpost Infinity. Docking is forbidden without proper clearance. Atten-“
  5052. >You hit the mute button on the car’s speakers as the message begins to loop and turn your attention to Otto’s glowing red eye.
  5053. “Can we establish communications with them?”
  5054. >You ask, looking back and forth between Dan and the AI.
  5055. [CHIEF ENGINEER DAN DID EQUIP THIS VESSEL WITH THE AXIOM’S EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS ARRAY. WHILE IT’S RANGE AND POWER ARE LIMITED, IT SHOULD BE SUFFICIENT.]
  5056. >Otto drones in response as Dan nods in agreement.
  5057. >”Give me some credit here; I wouldn’t just leave us mute in space.”
  5058. “Good, that means I can say another thing I’ve always wanted to say.”
  5059. >You say as you look up at the massive station.
  5060. “Computer, open a channel."
  5061. [AYE AYE, CAPTAIN.]
  5062. >Otto responds as a chime ringing over the car’s speakers signals the opening of a communications channel.
  5063. >You clear your throat and begin to speak.
  5064. “Hey there, Infinity Control, this is Anonymous, captain of the, uh…”
  5065. >As you realize you never actually named your ship, your eyes shoot back and forth between Dan and Spike, looking for some kind of suggestion, only for your inquiry to be met with a shrug from your two crewmates.
  5066. >Fuck it, unfortunate associations aside, Challenger is still a pretty rad name.
  5067. “…Captain of the Challenger. Anyway, we’d like to request emergency permission to dock. We’ve been stranded on a deserted junk planetoid and, while we managed to escape by cobbling this ship together out of spare parts, we’ve hit a few technical difficulties thanks to our vessel’s patchwork nature. I know we don’t exactly have proper clearance, but if we aren’t able to make repairs and refuel, we’ll be floating dead in space in a matter of hours.”
  5068. >The voice from the station crackles back over the car stereo.
  5069. > “I see, I’ll need to present your case to our commanding officer, please stand-”
  5070. >”No need, Lieutenant, I heard the whole thing.”
  5071. >A second voice says as it cuts off the first.
  5072. >”Star Command isn’t the kind of organization that would turn away a civilian in need, give them permission to dock.”
  5073. >The lieutenant sputters in protest.
  5074. >”B-but sir, the station hasn’t completed its shakedown yet, the regulations clearly state…”
  5075. >”Don’t quote the book at me, soldier, I wrote most of it, and the regulations aren’t meant to turn away civilian ships in dire states of emergency.”
  5076. >The second voice barks as it cuts off the lieutenant for a second time before addressing you over the radio.
  5077. >”Go ahead and make your way to the docking bay Captain Anonymous, I’ll be down to meet you myself shortly.”
  5078. >The commander says in a much more civil tone before the line goes dead.
  5079. “Huh, I really wasn’t expecting it to be quite that easy.”
  5080. >You say with a shrug as you spin the wheel and send the car into a gentle roll down towards the docking bay on the underside of the station’s saucer.
  5081. >”You don’t think it was maybe too easy? What if they just arrest us for violating their airspace and put us to work for the rest of our lives in the spice mines or something?”
  5082. >Dan says as he pulls his wrench out from under Spike’s seat and throws it an empty seat for ease of access, in case things go south.
  5083. “One, that’s crazy talk, chill out. Two, it’s not like we really have an option. We can either stop here, or starve to death floating in space when we run out of fuel and end up adrift. Just leave the junk cannon in the trunk and we’ll probably be fine.”
  5084. >Dan crosses his arms and grumbles under his breath for a few seconds before finally speaking up.
  5085. >”Fine, but I’m keeping my wrench on me. There’s no way I’m letting them put me in the mines without a fight.”
  5086. >”Holy moly, guys, look at that.”
  5087. >Spike says as a huge white ship glides up out of a launch tube on the top of the station and cruises past you as it circles the station, before zipping off into the night.
  5088. >”We need to get a ship like that.”
  5089. >Spike says, his eyes wide as the gleaming starship vanishes into the void.
  5090. “I wholeheartedly agree, but I doubt that’s the kind of thing they just give away.”
  5091. >You say to the little dragon as the Challenger passes through a glowing field covering the entrance to the docking bay, and you bring the car to a rolling stop between the massive launch pads clearly meant to house ships like the massive one you just saw.
  5092. >However, those pads all currently stand vacant, leaving nothing but the odd shuttlecraft to occupy the docking bay floor where the Challenger is now parked, and a lone man in a green and white space suit stands waiting for you.
  5093. “Okay guys, behave yourselves.”
  5094. >You say, taking a deep breath as the three of you get out of the car and go to meet the man who just pulled your bacon out of the fire.
  5095. >”Greetings, gentlemen, and welcome to the Infinity deep space outpost, I regret that your visit couldn’t be made under better circumstances.”
  5096. >The Commander says, holding out his hand as the three of you draw closer.
  5097. “You and me both, senpai. I’m Anonymous, and this is Spike and Dan.”
  5098. >You say, introducing your motley crew as you shake the commander’s hand.
  5099. “Thanks for breaking protocol to let us drop in for repairs; we’ll try not to cause any trouble for you while we’re here.”
  5100. >”Think nothing of it; it was a minor rule about non-Star Command personnel not being allowed on inactive stations. If you all had shown up a week later, when the Infinity is fully operational, the Lieutenant would have let you dock, no questions asked. It’s certainly nothing worth letting three people die over, and what else is Star Command for if not protecting the citizens of the galaxy?”
  5101. >The lantern-jawed commander says with a grin.
  5102. “All the same, we appreciate you letting us aboard.”
  5103. >You say as Spike nods enthusiastically and Dan just rolls his eyes until you jab him with an elbow, forcing him to nod along.
  5104. >”Like I said, think nothing of it, managing your case is just what I needed to fill the time it’ll take for the station’s full crew to arrive. And before we get much further, I’m Buzz Lightyear, and I’ve been put in charge of overseeing the shakedown of this outpost. Now then, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your quarters while you’re here on the station.”
  5105. >The commander says as he strikes a heroic pose and jabs himself in the chest with his thumb before leading the three of you off down the cavernous docking bay.
  5106. “Well, I’m glad we won’t be inconveniencing you…”
  5107. >You say with a smile, nodding as you follow Buzz before his words fully register in your brain.
  5108. “Wait, what was that about our case?”
  5109. >”Your security case, naturally.”
  5110. >Buzz says causally as you feel a weight form in the pit of your stomach.
  5111. >”Normally, as unexpected guests, you’d be assigned a security officer until we can determine that you aren’t Zurg agents in disguise, or some other form of threat, but with the station being on a skeleton crew, we only have one security officer, and he’s already dealing with another unexpected visitor we had a few days ago. So I volunteered to keep tabs on you boys during your stay.”
  5112. >The three of you exchange a glance before Dan speaks up.
  5113. >”Well, it’s better than being thrown in the spice mines, I guess.”
  5114. >Buzz laughs, slapping the little man on the back as the three of you make your way down the hall with your new babysitter.
  5115. >”I knew you boys would be good sports about it.”
  5116. >Buzz says, wiping a tear from his eye as you make your way into some kind of turbolift.
  5117. >”Anyway, it’s just a precaution, you boys don’t look like the type to be Zurg spies. Frankly, you boys are lucky I’m the one looking after you, since the regulations say I need to stay nearby at all times, you’ll be staying up in the officers’ quarters. The usual observation quarters down on the security level aren’t nearly as spacious.
  5118. >Buzz says as the lift stops, letting the four of you pile out into a gleaming hallway.
  5119. >”The three of you can use these rooms during your stay, and you can find me over in room 001.”
  5120. >Buzz says as he points to rooms 2 through 4, before pointing to his own.
  5121. >“I imagine you three would like to rest after your ordeal, so I’ll let you get settled in. If you need anything, I’ll be in my quarters.”
  5122. >Buzz says as his doors open, and he leaves the three of you standing in the hall.
  5123. >”You know, I kind of want to be mad over the whole implicit house arrest and suspicion of terrorism deal on principle, but this is honestly the cushiest arrest I’ve ever been under, so if the food’s decent, I think I’m going to let it slide.”
  5124. >Dan says, breaking the silence just as you were trying to figure out how to get the angry little man to let this go.
  5125. “Coming from you, that’s actually a remarkably mature position.”
  5126. >You say, shocked at how well Dan is taking the whole affair.
  5127. >”Yeah, well, the prospect of an actual meal is a huge factor here, and I reserve the right to burn this fucker to the ground if I can’t get a decent sandwich.”
  5128. >At the mention of a sandwich there’s a rumbly in Spike’s tumbly, and the little dragon pipes up.
  5129. >”If you get busted over a sandwich, I’m eating your share, Dan.”
  5130. >He says as he clutches his stomach with a slight wince.
  5131. “Well, I guess that settles it. First order of business is food.”
  5132. >You say, walking over and knocking on Buzz’s door, cocking an eyebrow as the door slides open with an unquestionably Star Trek-like swoosh.
  5133. >”Is there something I can help you boys with?”
  5134. >The lantern-jawed space ranger says as he appears in the doorway.
  5135. “We were actually wondering where we could snag a bite to eat in this joint. Dan here hasn’t actually eaten anything but canned ravioli for months.”
  5136. >You say, jabbing a thumb over your shoulder at the jerk behind you.
  5137. >”Well, it’s actually the night shift by station time, but that shouldn’t be a problem. There’s always at least one LGM up there manning the kitchens.”
  5138. >Buzz says as he leads the three of you back to the lift.
  5139. >”You boys are in for a treat, it’s cosmic chili day.”
  5140. >At the mention of cosmic chili, a grin full of child-like glee creeps onto the space ranger’s face as he presses a button that launches the turbolift into motion.
  5141. >”Are you kidding me? Cosmic chilli? Do you have space raviolis and quasar coffee too?”
  5142. >Dan says, rolling his eyes at both the ridiculous name and Buzz’s enthusiasm.
  5143. >”Hey, don’t knock the quasar coffee till you try it, and I can personally guarantee the cosmic chili is out of this world.”
  5144. >Buzz responds jovially, taking Dan’s attitude in stride so well that you legitimately can’t tell if Buzz is intentionally trying to antagonize him with that pun, or if that’s just straight up how the man talks.
  5145. >Dan’s eyelid just twitches in response.
  5146. >”Oh, a punny guy, huh? This isn’t over, not by a long shot.”
  5147. >Dan grumbles under his breath as he stands there seething.
  5148. “So, you said this place wasn’t fully operational, right? What’s the Infinity’s mission once it’s officially active?”
  5149. >You say, fumbling for a topic that might keep Dan from having a meltdown in the elevator.
  5150. >”An excellent question, Mr. Anonymous, let me paint you a picture.”
  5151. >Buzz says with a grin as he pops open a hatch on his suit’s forearm, revealing a computer interface that begins projecting a holographic map in the air before you just as the turbolift doors open onto the station’s expansive mess hall.
  5152. >Though, mess hall is an inadequate description for the space you’re currently walking through. It feels more like a upscale food court with the capacity to seat hundreds of people, complete with multiple vacant restaurant-like kiosks that you can only assume will serve food once the full crew arrives.
  5153. >”Ah yes, here we are.”
  5154. >Buzz says as he finishes scrolling through the map to locate the Infinity for the sake of his visual aid.
  5155. >”The Infinity sits here at the edge of known, Star Command monitored, space.”
  5156. >The space ranger points at the station for emphasis before continuing.
  5157. >”It was constructed to serve as both a staging point for exploration missions out into unknown sectors, and as a trading hub for both new civilizations we encounter, and ones that we already know here on the outer rim.”
  5158. >Buzz explains as the three of you walk behind the only lit counter in the facility into the kitchens.
  5159. >”So like I was saying earlier, you wouldn’t have had any problem landing here once the station was officially active. Hey, Lenny!”
  5160. >Buzz shouts, breaking away from his explanation as the four of you round a corner into the kitchen proper where a three-eyed green alien, not much taller than Spike, spins around from a sink at the sound of the space ranger’s voice.
  5161. >”Lenny, we’ve got some new guests on the station, think we can get some chili for them?”
  5162. >The little green man nods as he hops down off his stool and begins bustling around the kitchen, and in a matter of seconds, he’s standing before you with four bowls of steaming cosmic chili waiting for you on a tray.
  5163. >”Enjooooooooy.”
  5164. >The bug eyed little alien drones as he hands Buzz the tray before returning to his work at the sink.
  5165. >Spike and Buzz cheerfully thank the little green man while you and Dan stand there in stunned silence.
  5166. >It’s not until the four of you are making your way to a table that you manage to rediscover your ability to speak.
  5167. “We just got served chili by a literal little green spaceman, right? He wasn’t just a normal midget, and I’m not just hallucinating from sleep deprivation?”
  5168. >You ask Dan under your breath, and the angry little man can only nod in response as he searches for a reply and is ultimately only able to muster up.
  5169. >”Think it’s any good?”
  5170. >You just shrug as the four of you sit at the table.
  5171. “Well, I guess we’re about to find out.”
  5172. >You say as the two of you pick up a spoon, meanwhile Spike and Buzz have already dug into their steaming bowls of chili, and Spike is flashing you a OK sign with his clawed purple hand.
  5173. >You take a bite of the chili, and a burst of flavor previously unknown to mankind explodes in your mouth, assaulting your tongue with the spicy fury of the stars themselves.
  5174. >”Holy shit. The alien chili just earned a pass for its goofy ass name.”
  5175. >Dan takes a brief moment to say, his eyes watering and his face beet red, before diving back into the chili.
  5176. >You, on the other hand, decide to get back to the previous conversation on the Infinity’s purpose.
  5177. “While I’m thinking about it, I should probably warn you about the ‘world’ we came from, if you can even call it that.”
  5178. >You say, taking another bite of chili before continuing.
  5179. “It was a small planetoid that seems like it was made entirely out of junk and detritus from other worlds, and the only inhabitants we were able to find there were these hostile creatures called the Heartless.”
  5180. >Buzz nods as you describe the shadows and soldiers you encountered before interjecting.
  5181. >”We’ve actually received reports of such creatures popping up on some of the worlds under Star Command’s protection, but I’ve never heard of them overrunning a world before.”
  5182. >”Believe me, overrun is putting it mildly.”
  5183. >Dan says as he comes up for air.
  5184. >”I’ll put a flag in the system for the exploration team.”
  5185. >Buzz says as he pops open the panel on his forearm and taps at a few keys before returning to the conversation.
  5186. >The three of you regale Buzz with the story of your quest to escape the Heap, but by the time the three of you reach the end of your tale, Spike is practically asleep in his bowl.
  5187. >”What? I’m awake!”
  5188. >The little dragon shouts as he jerks upright, only to droop back down onto his tray a few seconds later.
  5189. >”Looks like you boys have been through the wringer over the past few days, if you want to go ahead and get some rest, your ship isn’t going anywhere. Repairs can wait till morning.”
  5190. >You think about insisting on getting to work immediately, but you can feel the day catching up with you.
  5191. “You know what? Sounds good.”
  5192. >You say, yawning as you help the drowsy dragon to his feet and the four of you make your way back down to your quarters.
  5193. >When the four of you arrive at your quarters, Buzz turns to face the three of you as he opens his door.
  5194. >”I know things have been rough on you, but that’s all about to turn around, you don’t have to worry about swarms of roaming Heartless here on the Infinity.”
  5195. >He says with a smile before stepping through the door and leaving the three of you alone once more.
  5196. >”Goodnight, guys.”
  5197. >Spike yawns as his door swooshes open and he vanishes into his quarters.
  5198. >Dan grunts an acknowledgement before following suit, leaving you alone in the hallway.
  5199. >You pull out your journal as you step into your quarters, but all thoughts of studying a new spellcrafting formula vanish from your mind when you see the plush bed waiting for you in the officer’s suite.
  5200. “Yeah, that can wait for now.”
  5201. >You say as you pull everything out of your pockets and leave it on the nightstand before heading into the adjoined bathroom.
  5202. >Looking around the room, in addition to the usual amenities, you also see a hatch labeled auto-launder.
  5203. “Clothes returned in one hour or less.”
  5204. >You mutter to yourself as you read the instructions on the hatch.
  5205. “Talk about space age convenience.”
  5206. >You say as you throw your sweat-stained, grime-dust-covered suit into the hatch and hop into the shower for the first time in days.
  5207. >A few minutes later, a plume of steam bursts from the bathroom door and you stumble into the bed and slip effortlessly into a deep, dreamless sleep.
  5208.  
  5209. >End Day 6
  5210.  
  5211. >You yawn and rub the sleep from your eyes as gentle beeping rouses you from your sleep.
  5212. >{The time is presently 0700 hours.}
  5213. >A soft mechanical voice says and the beeping resumes before you sit up in bed and the alarm automatically shuts off.
  5214. >You rub your eyes and look blearily around the room and discover a panel jutting from the wall that wasn’t there the night before.
  5215. >On said panel sits your suit, neatly pressed and foldedf, waiting for you fresh from the auto-laundry system.
  5216. “Guess we’re full Home of Tomorrow in here, huh?”
  5217. >You say as you pick up the suit and get ready to face the day.
  5218. >A few minutes later, you’re standing in the hallway, and for the first time in days, you don’t look like an overdressed hobo.
  5219. >Dan, on the other hand, still looks like a hobo as he exits his room, albeit an unusually clean one.
  5220. >”Sweet Jesus, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen a shower?”
  5221. >Dan says, stretching as Spike joins the three of you in the hallway, his scales restored to their usual luster.
  5222. >Before you have a chance to greet the three of them, Buzz joins you in the hallway.
  5223. >”Up and at’em, boys, you ready to get your ship shipshape again?”
  5224. >Buzz asks with an enthusiasm that it is far too early for you to match.
  5225. >The best you’re able to do is a nod, prompting Buzz to continue.
  5226. >”I’ll put in a work order with the LGM and see about sending a few guys up to help with your repairs.”
  5227. >Buzz says as he pops open his communicator and puts in the order, before slapping it shut and looking up at the three of you.
  5228. >”But first things first, how about breakfast?”
  5229. >He says as the three of you all nod enthusiastically and make your way back up to the mess hall, which is now bustling with activity.
  5230. >It takes a few minutes, but before long you’ve collected a tray of breakfast burritos from Lenny and the four of you are seated.
  5231. >”So is this the whole station’s crew?”
  5232. >Spike asks looking around the busy mess hall, but Buzz only chuckles.
  5233. >”No, I know I said we’re on a skeleton crew, but we have significantly more hands on board than this. This is only the first shift.”
  5234. >Buzz explains as he unwraps his burrito before pausing mid explanation.
  5235. >"Oh, I meant to ask yesterday, how did you boys even end up on this ‘Heap’ in the first place?”
  5236. >Buzz asks as he swallows a mouthful of burrito.
  5237. >”Well, that’s a question with more than one answer.”
  5238. >Dan says as he loads up his burrito with hot sauce
  5239. >”I found myself trapped there months ago after my world was destroyed. I’m not exactly sure how I got there, one minute I was in a burger joint and everything was going to shit, and the next I’m waking up on the Heap in half an abandoned restaurant.”
  5240. >Dan explains before pointing at Spike.
  5241. >”The little guy, on the other hand, I found wandering around a few days ago. Says he and his friends fell through some kind of portal and he ended up alone on the Heap.”
  5242. “Spike and I actually knew each other before the Heap.”
  5243. >You say, picking up Dan’s story.
  5244. “The portal that separated us didn’t drop me on the Heap at all. I got there using this.”
  5245. >You say, setting the depleted star shard on the table.
  5246. “Unfortunately, it died after one use, but at least I was able to find Spike again.”
  5247. >You say, shooting the little dragon a thumbs up as Buzz rubs his chin, thinking about what you said.
  5248. >”You know, boys, I wonder-”
  5249. >He starts before an alarm cuts the space ranger off and the lights in the mess hall begin flashing red.
  5250. >”That can wait for later, we need to get to the bridge now!”
  5251. >Buzz says as he throws his burrito on the table and runs towards the turbolift.
  5252. >Spike wolfs down his burrito in one bite and takes off after Buzz, while you wrap your burrito and pocket it before following the two of them.
  5253. >Dan just follows behind at a leisurely pace, still eating his burrito.
  5254. “What’s going on?”
  5255. >You ask as the three of you follow Buzz into the elevator.
  5256. >”It’s the proximity alarm, we’ll know more when we reach the bridge.”
  5257. >Buzz says as he slams the button on the turbolift’s console and the elevator lurches to life.
  5258. >In a matter of seconds, the four of you are stepping onto the bridge as Buzz barks orders.
  5259. >”What’s the situation, Lieutenant?”
  5260. >A scrawny man in a similar green and white suit snaps to attention, saluting Buzz before replying.
  5261. >”Commander, we have an asteroid on a trajectory that will be bringing it dangerously close to the station.”
  5262. >He explains as the three of you look out the window, only to discover the asteroid that had nearly smashed the Challenger the day before.
  5263. >”Oh hey, that nearly hit us yesterday. I wouldn’t worry about it, guys, it wasn’t on a collision course for the station last time we saw it.”
  5264. >Dan says as he turns around, leaning on a nearby console.
  5265. >”That may be, but it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. What I want to know is why we didn’t know about this days ago.”
  5266. >Buzz replies before turning to the lieutenant.
  5267. > “Why didn’t our telemetry pick it up?”
  5268. >The lieutenant can only squirm under Buzz’s gaze.
  5269. >”I don’t know, sir, we couldn’t detect it 'til it was practically on top of us. The only reason we know about it at all is because I happened to see it out the window just before I raised the alarm.”
  5270. >The lieutenant says, sweating bullets.
  5271. >”You’ve done good, ranger, take us down to yellow alert, this problem should cruise right by us soon enough.”
  5272. >Buzz says as he sits down in a large chair in the middle of the room.
  5273. >”Now, as I was saying earlier.”
  5274. >Buzz turns back to the three of you as he switches gears from commanding to conversational in the blink of an eye.
  5275. >”Our other guest down on the security level mentioned being thrown through a portal as well.”
  5276. >You and Spike share a concerned look as Buzz continues.
  5277. >”Her whole case was bizarre though: we detected an energy fluctuation on one of the lower levels a few days ago, and then she was just there. We were concerned Zurg had developed some kind of teleportation technology, so of course we had to place her under observation. She didn’t exactly take kindly to the idea, said it was incredibly rude of us to violate a lady’s privacy like that, and then kicked our security officer.”
  5278. “Oh shit.”
  5279. >You say as the realization hits you and Spike at the same time, but the little dragon manages to formulate an actual question while you’re busy swearing.
  5280. >”This guest’s name wouldn’t happen to be Rarity, would it?”
  5281. >Spike asks, and Buzz snaps his fingers and points at the little dragon.
  5282. >”We know her, she’s one of our missing friends!”
  5283. >Spike blurts out and Buzz just looks at the two of you confused.
  5284. >”I can take you guys down to verify that, but she’s some kind of tiny talking unicorn, you’re a lizard man and Anon is a garden variety human. How do the three of you come from the same place?”
  5285. “Well, to be fair, Spike is a dragon, and I’m not even from their world originally.”
  5286. >You say, trying to clear things up, only for Dan to chime in.
  5287. >”Hold on now, you’re friends with not just a princess but unicorns too?
  5288. >Dan says as you and Spike look at each other, unsure about how to answer that question.
  5289. “Yeah, pretty much, we’ll fill you in on the details later while we’re working on repairs, but for now we need to go check on Rarity.”
  5290. >Dan seems satisfied with this response and you turn to Buzz.
  5291. “So when can we go down to the security level?
  5292. >”Well, now, actually.”
  5293. >Buzz says as he looks out the window and sees the asteroid cruising safely past.
  5294. >”Cancel the yellow alert, we’re heading down to the security deck, Lieutenant.
  5295. >Buzz says as the four of you pile into the turbolift.
  5296. >”I can’t believe Rarity was here the whole time.”
  5297. >Spike says, bouncing around the elevator as Buzz pushes a button and the lift starts to descend.
  5298. >Suddenly, the alarm blares through a hidden set of speakers as a voice bursts over the intercom.
  5299. >”ALL HANDS, BRACE FOR IMPACT!”
  5300. >You barely have time to say,
  5301. “Wait, what?”
  5302. >Before a concussive burst of force rips through the station, knocking the four of you around the turbolift like a can of Mexican jumping beans.
  5303. >The pod screeches to a halt in the middle of the shaft, and you slam your head on the control panel and you slump to the floor.
  5304. >The last thing you hear before you pass out is Dan groaning.
  5305. >”It couldn’t have just been an easy pit stop, could it?”
  5306. >At first, all you can feel is the dull throb of pain in your forehead as your senses return, but as reality slips into sharper focus, you begin to notice the sound of an alarm droning in the background.
  5307. >You manage to pry open your eyes, and the scene that waits for you is illuminated by the dull red glow of emergency lighting as you stagger to your feet.
  5308. >A quick glance around the tiny room reveals that you’re still in the turbolift, and the others were apparently knocked unconscious as well by whatever crash that was that rocked the station and triggered the lift’s emergency brakes.
  5309. >You crouch down and try to shake Spike awake; fortunately for you, the dragon responds almost immediately.
  5310. >”I’m up, Twilight, don’t leave me behind. I want pancakes too!”
  5311. >The little dragon shouts, eliciting a grumble from Dan as the little dragon sits bolt upright.
  5312. “Sorry, little buddy, no pancakes today.”
  5313. >You say as Spike groans and looks around the room, trying to get his bearings.
  5314. >”Ugh, what happened?”
  5315. > Spike says as he rubs his bruised forehead.
  5316. “Well, my best guess is something hit the station.”
  5317. >”And you’d be correct, that’s the hull breach alarm.”
  5318. >You jump as Buzz sits up and joins the conversation while he pulls his purple thermal hood back in place.
  5319. >”We need to go see if Rarity is okay.”
  5320. >Spike groans as he pulls himself to his feet and begins pressing the button for the security level Buzz pressed earlier.
  5321. >Unfortunately, the elevator continues to quietly sit in its current brake-assisted position.
  5322. >”The first thing we need to do is get out of this elevator, in the event of a breach, the lifts shut down.”
  5323. >Buzz says as he goes over to pry open the door.
  5324. >”We’re going to have to get where we need to go on foot.”
  5325. >The space ranger says with a grunt as the doors budge a few inches, revealing a hallway about knee high to the floor of the lift.
  5326. “Hang on, let me get Dan.”
  5327. >You say, crouching down to shake the angry little man.
  5328. >”If you go to Burgerphile without me, Chris, I swear I will cut you!”
  5329. >Dan shouts as he wakes from his concussed slumber before looking around the room and realizing where he is.
  5330. >”So, things have once again gone completely sideways, huh?”
  5331. >He says as he takes stock of the alarm and the emergency lights.
  5332. “Yeah, something hit the station; we’ve got a hull breach.”
  5333. >Dan’s eyes go wide as you help him to his feet.
  5334. >”Fuck, we’re lucky we woke up at all.”
  5335. >He says as he wedges his wrench into the gap Buzz has made between the lift doors.
  5336. >”Okay, let’s get out of here.”
  5337. >He says, prying open the doors as you and Buzz pull from opposite ends.
  5338. >Before you know it, the three of you are clambering up out of the elevator into a hallway that looks very different from the ones you’ve seen so far.
  5339. >Apart from the odd flickering fluorescent bulb, the hallway is also lit by red emergency lights, but it isn’t the lighting that’s transformed this hallway.
  5340. >What’s different is the thick, black residue that seems to be growing in patches on the floor, dripping from the ceiling and even up the walls.
  5341. >In some places, it seems to coat entire sections of hallway, drowning out the lights as the slimy, black ooze covers them completely.
  5342. >”How long were we out?”
  5343. >Dan asks as the four of you stare down the hall, and after taking a closer look, you see little black motes of ash or dust floating around the hall.
  5344. >”That’s a very good question. Buzz Lightyear to bridge, come in bridge.”
  5345. >Buzz says as he flips open the panel on his wrist and attempts to hail the bridge.
  5346. >For a few seconds, the line crackles with static before a panicked lieutenant finally answers.
  5347. >”Commander, thank goodness, I’ve been trying to contact you for hours. I was afraid the asteroid had destroyed your lift when it hit.”
  5348. >“What do you mean asteroid? I saw it cruise right past us with my own eyes.”
  5349. >Buzz replies tersely as he quickly looks up from his comms to scan the hallway.
  5350. >”Well, sir, that’s the thing, it all started with that asteroid. You see, shortly after you left, it changed course. And not a slight course correction either, sir, it pulled a near 180 degree turn and smashed directly into the Infinity.”
  5351. “What does he mean change course, it’s just an asteroid right?”
  5352. >You ask as Buzz holds up a finger asking you to wait.
  5353. >”What do you mean where it all started?”
  5354. >The lieutenant’s voice is trembling when he comes back on the radio.
  5355. >”Something is wrong with the asteroid, sir. This horrible black substance has been growing from the breach, and that’s not the worst of it. I’ve had to barricade the bridge against th-”
  5356. >A crash cuts off the lieutenant and you hear a wet gurgling roar, like the creature making the noise is sporting a sucking chest wound.
  5357. >“AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD, THEY’RE HERE!”
  5358. >You can hear him screaming, followed by the sound of blaster fire and more of the gurgling wet roars until finally the line goes dead.
  5359. >The four of you look at each other stunned, unsure what to make of what you just heard.
  5360. >You try to think of something helpful to say, something that will get the four of you moving towards a solution for this problem, but the only thing that comes to mind is simply,
  5361. “Well, shit.”
  5362.  
  5363. Far Side of Infinity
  5364.  
  5365. >You pinch the bridge of your nose and squeeze your eyes shut while you try to assemble some kind of a plan of action.
  5366. >The problem is that there are so many unknowns about the current situation, that an effective plan is all but impossible.
  5367. >That makes information priority one, you think to yourself before pointing at Buzz.
  5368. “You don’t have a way to tap into the station’s computer and get us a map do you?”
  5369. >You ask, and the space ranger shakes his head apologetically.
  5370. >”With the system down like this, the best I can do is the general layout.”
  5371. >Buzz says as he projects a holographic display of the station with a red blinking light indicating your current position near the communications center, just off one of the main turbolift shafts.
  5372. >”Now, if we can find a way to tap into the Infinity’s sensors, I can get us a map that can actually tell us something about the current situation. The best place to do that is either going to be up here at the bridge, or down in the engineering level.”
  5373. >Buzz says as he points to the two sections on the map.
  5374. “Looks like the bridge is probably the closest, plus that lets us help the lieutenant if we can. Question is, how do we get there with the lifts down?”
  5375. >You ask, examining the map as you try to figure out a way to reach your destination.
  5376. >”Why don’t we just climb the elevator shaft, that should take us straight there right?”
  5377. >Buzz shakes his head as he walks over to the turbolift.
  5378. >”The lift isn’t engineered with anything we can use as traction. Then again, we don’t really need to use the lift.”
  5379. >Buzz says as he kicks a panel near the turbolift entrance, causing it to pop out of place in the wall and slide to the side with a pneumatic hiss.
  5380. >”The access shafts run parallel to the lift. Provided it isn’t blocked, we can get back to the bridge without much trouble.”
  5381. >Spike sticks his head into the shaft and looks around for a second before you hear his voice echo out of the tunnel.
  5382. >”I don’t see any ladder or anything in here, there are just these handles sticking out of the wall every six feet or so.”
  5383. >As Spike mentions a ladder, Buzz laughs.
  5384. >”We wouldn’t design a space station miles long that you need to climb up and down in the event of an emergency. If you want to step back, little guy, it’ll be faster if I demonstrate.”
  5385. >Spike backs away from the hatch, Buzz crouches down and jumps into the access tunnel.
  5386. >”Holy shit, man, what are you doing!”
  5387. >Dan shouts, expecting Buzz to fall to his death, only for the space ranger to hang there in midair.
  5388. >”The access tunnels don’t have artificial gravity in place. Normally you would grab one of these handles and be pulled to your destination, but in case of emergency they can still be used as handholds to push off of.”
  5389. >Buzz says, pointing to the handles before he pulls himself out of the way to make room for the next person.
  5390. “I’m not going to lie, after childhood full of Star Trek, I was legit expecting to find a ladder in here we were going to need to climb.”
  5391. >You say as you hop into the access shaft, your stomach turning as you suddenly find yourself floating weightlessly.
  5392. >As you pull yourself out of the way for Spike, you realize the tunnel is more spacious than it looked from the outside.
  5393. >There’s enough room for two people to pass going opposite directions along, with enough extra clearance to drag the odd tool kit or replacement component.
  5394. >Spike flails his arms wildly as the sensation of weightlessness grips him, but Buzz grabs the little dragon and guides him over to a handle to make room for Dan as he glides in and the panel hisses shut.
  5395. >Unlike the hall outside, the shaft isn’t lit by dull red emergency lights, Instead it’s lit by a series of white arrows pointing up along handles on the right side of the shaft and down on the left.
  5396. >”Bridge is this way, gentlemen. Good thing we were relatively close.”
  5397. >Buzz says as he kicks off one of the motionless handles and goes gliding silently up the shaft in the direction of the bridge.
  5398. >You give an experimental tug on one of the handles, and you begin to slowly glide up the shaft before kicking one of the handles as you float past.
  5399. >When you add the force of your kick to your gentle glide, you shoot up the shaft and begin gaining on Buzz.
  5400. >Dan and Spike swiftly follow suit, and before long, the four of you are gliding up the access tunnel.
  5401. >It only takes a few seconds for Spike to break the silence.
  5402. >”So Buzz, do you think you can get in touch with the security officer? I need to know if Rarity is okay.”
  5403. >Spike says with grim resolute stare that would prove very intense and inspiring, were it not for the blush creeping into his cheeks at the thought of not only seeing Rarity again, but being the big hero who rescues her.
  5404. >”I’ll see what I can do, little man.”
  5405. >Buzz says, moved by the little dragon’s intensity, as he gives the dragon a determined nod.
  5406. >”Hello, Security Chief Woody. Come in, Woody. This is Buzz Lightyear, requesting a status report on our recent surprise guest.”
  5407. >The only response you receive is a uniform field of static.
  5408. >”Sorry, little guy, with the station’s internal communications down, there’s too much interference from the station itself to reach them.”
  5409. “Do you think we can find a work around for that up on the bridge?”
  5410. >You ask as Spike stares down the shaft crestfallen.
  5411. >”I’d say chances are decent we could tap into the ships internal coms up here.”
  5412. >Buzz says nodding as he grabs a handle near an access door and pulls himself to a stop.
  5413. >You barely have time to react and grab your own handle, but you manage to hold on as Buzz pries open the bridge level exit.
  5414. >Spike and Dan, on the other hand, see your near miss and have no trouble stopping in time to follow you and Buzz as you crawl out of the hatch.
  5415. >You smell it before you actually see it.
  5416. >The smell of iron hanging heavy in the air and clinging to the back of your throat every time you breathe in.
  5417. “Spike, stay in the shaft.”
  5418. > You call out, covering your mouth to block out the smell as you turn and look to see the lieutenant slumped on a blood splashed command console.
  5419. >”Oh man, he’s definitely not going to make it to the company Christmas party.”
  5420. >Dan says as he walks over to the lieutenant and rolls the body over to investigate the wound.
  5421. >”Oh shit, that can’t be good.”
  5422. >Dan groans as he gets an eyeful of the wound that killed the lieutenant.
  5423. >The lieutenant’s chest cavity seems to have been ripped open diagonally, but that’s not the most peculiar thing about the wound.
  5424. >Nor is the fact the man’s chest seems to have been torn open by a sharp, single-edged implement that managed to punch straight through the space ranger’s armor the strangest detail.
  5425. >No, the strangest detail is the thick black and red slime that seems to have congealed in the lieutenant’s wound and across the chest plate of the poor sap’s sundered armor.
  5426. >”Say does that stuff look…”
  5427. “Like the goo in the hallway on the communications level. I was just thinking the same thing.”
  5428. >You say, finishing Dan’s sentence just before Buzz calls to you from the other side of the room.
  5429. >”I think we may have a serious problem on our hands.”
  5430. >You take a few seconds to drag some chairs over to block the body from view before calling over to Spike.
  5431. “Okay, Spike, you can come in now.”
  5432. You say as you make your way over to meet Buzz, and Spike crawls onto the bridge to meet up with the three of you.
  5433. >”Okay, space man, give us the skinny.”
  5434. >Dan says, arms crossed once the four of you have gathered at a mercilessly blood-free console.
  5435. >”Well, the good news is that I’ve managed to get a more up-to-date map.
  5436. >Buzz says as he projects a new map with a huge black splotch taking up nearly half of the ship’s population center.
  5437. >”Problem is that the only light it’s shed on the situation is the location of the impact site.”
  5438. >He says pointing at the black spot.
  5439. >”I’ve tried to get more, but everything else is down: internal sensors, internal comms, main power, external comms.”
  5440. >Buzz trails off and stands in silence for a second before snapping the map shut.
  5441. >”The only thing that seems to be working is gravometrics and the environmental systems, and who knows how long either of those will hold out.
  5442. >”So what do we do next?”
  5443. >Spike asks, but before you manage to answer, a loud, scraping noise fills the room followed by a wet, gurgling groan.
  5444. >”If I turn around and see a god damn space zombie...”
  5445. >Dan mutters, pulling his wrench as the three of you turn and see the lieutenant shambling towards you.
  5446. >The black ooze has slithered down his arm and hardened into a wickedly curved black blade where the ranger’s right hand should be.
  5447. >At the same time, the ooze has managed to creep up the late lieutenant’s neck and covered the right half of his face beneath the pitch-like goo, leaving nothing but a glowing yellow eye on that side of his face.
  5448. >And finally, the wicked gash running diagonally across the lieutenant’s chest has been joined by a thick red strand of ooze, crossing the wound to make the slash one of the two jagged bands in the center of a sloppy, ill-defined Heartless crest.
  5449. >”Son of a fucking bitch!”
  5450. >Dan shouts, throwing his hands up as the four of you prepare to fight.
  5451.  
  5452. Anon and friends vs the Lieutenant.
  5453. Anon 42 hp 60mp
  5454. Spike 50 hp 30mp
  5455. Dan 40hp
  5456. Buzz 59hp suit power cells 100%
  5457.  
  5458. Lieutenant HP 0
  5459.  
  5460. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  5461.  
  5462. Next Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/ccb4NSFz

My Little Persona: Another Way Round 2

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