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Booptastic

By TheGearMan
Created: 2020-12-27 02:38:48
Expiry: Never
anonsafe/rgre/twilight

  1. > Be anonymous
  2. > Be a big, damn hero.
  3. > You just defeated Ponyville's big bad monster of the week (well, with the frequency that Ponyville has monster attacks, it feels like they show up just about once a week.)
  4. > Be the center of a cheering mass of ponies crying out your name.
  5. > Even Rainbow Dash shouted, "you are awesome!" It doesn't get more definitive than that.
  6. > Mares are holding up their foals so you can see them wave their little hoovsies at you. It's absolutely adorable.
  7. > Wave to the crowds as you wander to the steps of Twilight's crystal castle where she, the other Elements of Harmony, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Shining Armor await you.
  8. > Yeah, that over grown evil, magical whatzit never knew what hit it. All you had to do was to do a full body hit on that rotten tree to knock it over on to that thing knocking it out cold. (okay, you were actually trying to run away for your life and weren't watching where you were going when you ran into the tree, but that's just between you and the tree. There's no reason to ruin this for everpony; they WANT a hero, so you might as well give them one. What could possibly go wrong?)
  9. > Arrive at the steps of Princess Purple's castle.
  10. > Bow to the royalty before you. Good heroes are always humble.
  11. > Smile as you hear Princess Twilight Sparkle extoll your virtues.
  12. > "Anonymous, you have defeated a great evil and protected Ponyville at the risk of your own life. Let it be known that all of Equestria's Princesses have agreed that your deeds have earned you a full knight-hood, arise, Sir Anonymous!"
  13. > You stand as the crowd explodes and makes more noise than they already were.
  14. > Twilight leans in so you can hear over the celebration.
  15. > "Anon, I have to say, you were amazing!"
  16. "You got that right, sister!"
  17. > Be suave and cool and boop Twilight on the nose with a finger as you say that.
  18. > Twilight freezes.
  19. > Mothers scream in horror, hiding the eyes of their foals.
  20. > Celestia and Luna and Cadance gasp.
  21. > "You bastard!" Shining Armor cries.
  22. > Rarity faints.
  23. > Fluttershy throws up.
  24. > Pinkie Pie's mane goes straight.
  25. > Applejack and Rainbow Dash look like they want to kill you.
  26. > What?
  27. "What?"
  28. > Twilight is scrunching her muzzle looking cross-eyed at it.
  29. > "You... you... you BOOPED ME!"
  30. > Be confused now.
  31. "Yeah, and?"
  32. > "GUARDS ARREST HIM!"
  33. > Find yourself suddenly arrested at the bottom of pile of guards.
  34.  
  35. > Be Anonymous
  36. > Be bruised and in chains
  37. > Be missing a few teeth.
  38. > Be impressed by Shining Armor's right cross. That pony knows how to throw a punch.
  39. > Be drug in front of a furious group of mares and one angry brother.
  40. > See Twilight's face covered in tears and see anger in her eyes.
  41. > Twilight's friends are beside her trying to give comfort to her. They look like they also want to kill you. Even Fluttershy.
  42. > Still be confused.
  43. "What...!?"
  44. > "SILENCE!"
  45. > Ow. Loud Celestia is loud.
  46. > "Anonymous, how could you do that to Twilight?! And in public no less! How dare you!"
  47. > Note the fire coming from Celestia's eyes. Never a good sign.
  48. > Try the logical approach.
  49. "All I did I was boop her!"
  50. > Rarity faints. Again.
  51. > "Do you think this a joke!?"
  52. > Now Loud Luna is loud. That was definitely NOT her inside voice.
  53. > Twilight steps forward and speaks, her voice about to crack.
  54. > "Anonymous, why have you done this? What did I do to you to make you take advantage of me like this? Not only did you take the one thing I can never get back but you disgraced me in front of all of Ponyville. Why, Anonymous? Why did you boop me!?"
  55. > What?
  56. "What?"
  57. > Find your face full of angry purple princess face.
  58. > "WHY. DID. YOU. BOOP. ME?"
  59. > Try for the truthful approach.
  60. "I thought it was a suave and cool move for the moment!"
  61. > "...suave and cool...? You took my boop-virginity to look suave?! YOU PUNCHED MY B-CARD TO BE COOL?!"
  62. > Learn that Twilight Sparkle has definitely taken punching lessons from her brother.
  63. > Spit out a few more teeth.
  64. > Try for the reasoning approach.
  65. "It was just a boop! It's not like I raped you!?"
  66. > Hear the collective gasp from all ponies in the room.
  67. > Watch Rarity faint again. (Hadn't she already fainted again? You've lost track.)
  68. > Watch Twilight Sparkle, one of the smartest ponies in Equestria, process what you just said.
  69. > "...just a... not like you..."
  70. > See her reach some type of conclusion. Be terrified as she looks at you coolly.
  71. > "You don't know, do you? You humans so perverted that you boop each other without remorse, without consequence. You truly do not understand the depth of your depraved actions, do you? I can see that the's only one recourse to address this vileness in your being"
  72. "uh... what?"
  73. > See the expression on her face. Decide that the words "Twilight Sparkle" and "righteous fury" should never be allowed in the same sentence together.
  74. > "GIRLS!"
  75. > See the eyes of the six Elements of Harmony begin to glow white as they float off the floor.
  76. "uh... any chance we can just talk about this!? Do you really need the rainbow? NOT THE FACE! ARGH!"

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