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Optics (RGRE) (Anon/Spitfire)

By Uh-hmmm
Created: 5th January 2021 05:27:18 AM

  1. > You are Anonymous (90kg), enjoying a pepperoni sub sandwich at a table outside the recently opened griffin deli
  2. > You idly wonder what goes into the pepperoni, pigs and such are sapient here, after all
  3. > Admittedly, you aren't entirely sure what goes into normal pepperoni either
  4. > For the sake of your appetite, you decide not to look the gift birdcat in the mouth
  5. > Catbird?
  6. > Gift Griffin, ooh, alliteration
  7. > Caramel (1 cup sugar, 1 cup of butter, boil in a sasspan until it reaches the hardball stage) prances towards your table
  8. > "You will never guess who got two tickets to the Wonderbolts show!"
  9. > You smile at your friend
  10. "Nice! Are you going to be taking Pierced Pinion then?"
  11. > Caramel shakes his head
  12. > "That wouldn't be the right optics, Anon. We have to show the matriarchy that a stallion doesn't need a mare to support him to make a statement!"
  13. > Ah
  14. > Optics, right
  15. > That poor mare
  16. "So that means..."
  17. > Caramel grins at you
  18. > "Boy's night out, you and me! I already booked a hotel in Fillydelphia, and got the train tickets ready."
  19. > You scratch your cheek
  20. > If turning him down would give Pinion (2whipped10pecked) a chance, you'd do it, but Caramel would probably just cancel instead
  21. > And it's not like you don't want to go; the Wonderbolts put on a good show
  22. "So, when are we planning on leaving?"
  23. > Caramel claps his hooves in delight
  24. > "I knew you would have my back! The train leaves this Saturday at 21 AM. We'll only be staying the one night, so I doubt you'll need much more than a suitcase."
  25. > You give him a thumbs up
  26. "Sounds like a plan."
  27. ---
  28. > The next morning, you find him by the station, a long cardboard tube strapped across his back, pulling a small wagon with a heavily bedazzled harness
  29. > You wave at him and he perks up immediately, trotting over
  30. > "Anon, looking good this morning! I love what you did with your scarf."
  31. > You smile
  32. "Thanks, I like your, uh, harness?"
  33. > Caramel preens
  34. > "I made it myself! Well, not made-it made it, but I exercised my stallion's prerogative and made it my own by glitzing it up. Maybe when we get back, we can bedazzle your suitcase too!"
  35. > You subconsciously tug your suitcase closer to yourself
  36. "No, I like it as is. It's...understatedly elegant or something."
  37. > Caramel nods seriously
  38. > "Way to go, Anon, bucking societal expectations of accessories for stallions. I like it."
  39. > You sigh
  40. > He's a good guy, and he helped you find a place to stay when you first got here, but Caramel bases far too much of his identity on "fighting the matriarchy"
  41. > It's a relief when the train pulls into the station and the two of you have to step quick to find a pair of seats for yourselves
  42. > You check the charge on your phone as you sit down
  43. > The thing's a green monocrystal, but slim enough to fit in your pocket
  44. > The horn icon is about 3/4 filled in, so it should last at least until tomorrow
  45. > You slide it back into your pocket and look up to see Caramel chewing his lip
  46. > He sighs
  47. > "I really should get some mare saddlebags, but fiddling with them to fit is such a hassle."
  48. > You shrug
  49. "You could just pay Rarity to adjust them for you. Or commission her to make some bigger saddle bags on a stallion style harness."
  50. > Caramel nods ruefully
  51. > "Maybe next month when I have some bits to spare..."
  52. > You frown
  53. "How expensive are these tickets?"
  54. > He wave a hoof dismissively
  55. > "It's not that, I recently got a taffy pulling machine for the shop. The cost of the machine itself, then installation, and a warranty... it adds up."
  56. > You raise your eyebrows
  57. "I can imagine. Still, it sounds like a good investment."
  58. > He grins
  59. > "Oh, it is! My back is feeling much better, now that I'm not rearing up and stretching candy for hours."
  60. > The train ride passed quickly enough with such idle chatter
  61. > Once again, he resisted your pitch about buying miniatures and painting them
  62. > You thought you might have had a chance since the Dao got an update that made them halfway viable, but it's not like Caramel cares about miniature gaming in the first place
  63.  
  64. > Fillydelphia is nice enough as far as cities go, but you are glad to drop off your luggage at the hotel
  65. > You only take a water bottle with you to the stadium, but Caramel hauls pretty much half of what he brought in the wagon, that tube still on his back
  66. > You frown
  67. "You're not going to have me handing out pamphlets are you?"
  68. > He glances at you
  69. > "Well, if somepony approaches while I'm busy, I certainly would appreciate if you gave them something to read. I know you don't really know the arguments or statistics, so don't worry about debating anypony."
  70. > You sigh
  71. "What if I just pay you back for the ticket instead?"
  72. > Caramel laughs and bumps your leg with his flank
  73. > "Come on, a little activism won't kill you. It's not like I'm having you back me up in a court case or something."
  74. > The two of you join the line leading into one of the stadium entrances
  75. > You shake your head
  76. "The things I do for a friend."
  77. > Caramel smirks
  78. > "I'll tell you what, when we get arrested, you have my permission to blame it all on me."
  79. > You shoot him a worried glance
  80. "Are you planning on getting arrested?"
  81. > He shakes his head
  82. > "No, that's step 14 in my grand strategy for a stallionist overthrow of the government. By then you'll be subtly influencing your herd of highly placed mares to corrupt the legal system."
  83. > You blink, then catch the little smirk on his face
  84. "Fine, but I get horstralia when the times comes."
  85. > Caramel grins
  86. > "Deal."
  87. > The ticket mare eyes Caramel's wagon, then his caboose as she waves the two of you inside
  88. > Caramel snorts, but carries on
  89. > You find your seats easily enough, and ease into the enchanted fog cushion
  90. > It's deliciously cool and soft, you really ought to save up for a cloudbed if this is how it would feel
  91. > Caramel pops the top off the tube and removes and unfurls the blue and gold sign
  92. > [More Stallions ]
  93. > [In Wonderbolts]
  94. > You frown
  95. "Isn't there one or two? That Soarin guy?"
  96. > Your friend nods
  97. > "Sure, but that's one stallion out of twelve wonderbolts, while one in four ponies is a stallion. They can do better, maybe if they lowered the standards for stallion applicants, or-"
  98. > You hold up your hands
  99. "I get it, I get it. Nice choices on the colors, very eye-catching."
  100. > Caramel rolls his eyes
  101. > "It's the wonderbolt colors, of course it's eye-catching. Thanks, though."
  102. > He slides the signpole into a fitting on his wagon and grabs a hooffull of pamphlets
  103. > "Save my seat while I distribute these, alright?"
  104. > You give him a mock salute and settle back into your seat and he trots into the crowd
  105. > You take the opportunity to admire the clear sky and wide open design of the stadium
  106. > Your eyes are draw to the four ponds in the middle, unnaturally still in the gentle summer breeze
  107. > Curious
  108. > About half an hour later, Caramel comes back, his head held high like he always does when a mare dismisses his arguments without addressing them
  109. > He drops into his seat and crosses his forehooves and grumbles below his breath
  110. > You casually take a sip from your water bottle
  111. "So, what are those ponds down there? Water landings for the 'bolts?"
  112. > Caramel shakes out his mane with a huff and answers
  113. > "Scrying pools. For close ups of the fliers."
  114. > You nod your head
  115. "Cool, never seen that before. I'm guessing it would be impractical to grow a display monocrystal that big, or use a bunch of crystals to make a big screen."
  116. > Caramel shrugs
  117. > "Could be, I never studied Information Thaumaturgy. Anypony come by asking about stallionism?"
  118. > You shake your head
  119. "I think the sign looks too much like something a fan would use to cheer them on, so ponies don't actually read it."
  120. > Your friend slumps in his seat
  121. > "Ugh, this day has just been one disaster after another."
  122. > You really don't want to ask about it, so you just pat his withers comfortingly
  123. > It's a relief when the show begins with a salvo of fireworks
  124. > The wonderbolts streak through the sparks, the roar of their magic parting the air resonates in your chest
  125. > You look down at the scrying pools and see them salute the scrying focus
  126. > Then the pools zoom in on Soarin (1 more apple pie and it'll go straight to his hips) as he winks at the focus and pivots into a steep climb, the tight uniform doing nothing to hide the bulge of his sheath
  127. > The mares in the audience whistle and stomp their hooves in applause
  128. > Caramel scoffs
  129. > "I bet he doesn't make nearly as much as the mares on the team, even though they're exploiting him like this."
  130. > A slightly chubby mare nearby clears her throat
  131. > "Well, actually, he gets paid more bits than the mares as compensation to his herd, not to mention the cut of sales he gets from merchandise of him."
  132. > Caramel frowns
  133. > "It's disgusting that a stallion has to have a herd to be paid a fair wage. My worth is not measured by how many mares I cook for!"
  134. > You sigh and try to ignore the argument
  135. > The wonderbolts form a V and start spiralling around the center mare
  136. > Neat
  137. > "...Wage gap is a myth! Stallions just choose..."
  138. > You think to yourself "Do a barrel roll" and smile
  139. > "...Do you know how much makeup costs? Depending on the restaurant, a stallion would be losing money even if the mare pays for everything!"
  140. > Finally, you turn and glare at the two of them
  141. "Be quiet! Argue on your own time, I want to watch the show!"
  142. > The mare and Caramel stare at you with wide eyes, then look away
  143. > Caramel slumps in his seat
  144. > "Sorry."
  145. > You sigh and pat him on the withers
  146. > You turn back to the scrying pools and watch the ponies fly
  147. > The 'bolts cruise along in a vertical column, and slowly grow closer together
  148. > One by one, the pegasi rest their hooves on the back of the pony beneath them
  149. > When all twelve are stacked on top of each other, the crowd goes wild
  150. > You clap, impressed
  151. > Especially when they start weaving around cloud pillars without breaking formation
  152. > Caramel nudges you
  153. > "Want some cherries?"
  154. > You look down at the tupperware on his hoof and grab a few
  155. "Don't mind if I do, thanks!"
  156. > You enjoy yourself for the rest of the show, clapping and cheering with the crowd
  157. > The show ends with the 'bolts buzzing the audience, a bare few meters above the crowd
  158. > After the cheers die down, the crowd start to disperse
  159. > You stand and stretch
  160. "Woo, that was pretty cool, I have to say. Thanks for bringing me out here, Caramel."
  161. > He gets to his hooves and smiles
  162. > "Glad you liked it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go powder my nose."
  163. > You nod to him
  164. "Don't die in there. I've lost too many friends to the septic oubliette."
  165. > Caramel chuckles
  166. > "No promises. Avenge me if I don't return."
  167. > You nod gravely
  168. "On my honor as a murder ape."
  169. > Your friend rolls his eyes and trots off for parts unknown
  170. > As the stadium empties, you chill by the wagon and nibble on some of the cherries
  171. > A shadow falls across you
  172. > "A stallionist, huh?"
  173. > Oh Celestia no
  174. > You look up and see Spitfire (32 watermelon seeds per second), of all mares
  175. > She's smirking at you, her flight suit partially unzipped to release her tuft
  176. "Uh,"
  177. > She swaggers up to you
  178. > "See, I have a theory about stallionists."
  179. > You raise an eyebrow
  180. "Oh? What is that?"
  181. > She flaps her wings once, her musk filling the air
  182. > She smells like dryer sheets and oranges, and a peculiar, almost spicy fragrance that you can't place
  183. > "Deep down, every colt screaming about mare privilege, wage gaps, and so on..."
  184. > Spitfire rears up and puts her hooves on your shoulders, her face a few inches from your own
  185. > "All they really want is a nice, strong mare to rein them in. What do you think?"
  186. > You lick your lips, keeping a straight face with some effort
  187. > You want to bury your face in that tuft
  188. > Maybe give her some smooches
  189. "And you think that's you?"
  190. > Spitfire leans forward, taking a deep whiff of your scent
  191. > "Lemme show you something, colt."
  192. > She gets back to her hooves and scoops a cherry out of the tupperware with a pinion
  193. > She sets it on the ground and sits on it
  194. > You raise an eyebrow, but the mare just smirks
  195. > After a moment, she stands up and gestures towards where she was sitting
  196. > Nothing remains of the cherry but a carefully knotted stem
  197. > You are impressed and a little more turned on in spite of yourself
  198. "Clever, but I don't see-"
  199. > "There's more, colt. See that bottle on the hoofrest about one thousfur hooves behind me?"
  200. > You grimace
  201. > You're still getting used to horse units and numbers, but you do see the bottle about 10 meters away
  202. "Yeah, what about it?"
  203. > Spitfire flexes her hips sharply, and something blurs out from under her tail and nails the bottle
  204. > You can't help it
  205. "Hot damn! Nice shot!"
  206. > She gives you a smug grin
  207. > "To answer your question, yes. I am mare enough to rein you in and give you the ride of your life."
  208. > You find yourself sweating, even in the cool evening breeze
  209. "I, uh, have a friend I'm waiting for, and-"
  210. > Spitfire climbs up on the seat and rears up, her tuft right in your face, the intoxicating mare scent inescapable
  211. > She mutters under her breath, "Tall bastard, aren't you?"
  212. > The wonderbolt clears her throat
  213. > "Send them a message on your slate, I'm sure they'll be fine."
  214. > You swallow
  215. "Right. Yeah."
  216. > You take out your slate and text Caramel,
  217. {Got a hot date, gotta go}
  218. >Bless the lad, he answers immediately
  219. > {You go colt! Let me know how it went!}
  220. > Spitfire reads over your shoulder
  221. > "What a good friend. Now follow me, we have a penthouse suite to ruin."
  222. --
  223. > Be Caramel, waking up alone in your hotel room
  224. > It's a little lonely, not having anypony around
  225. > Makes you wish you had let Pinion come along too, she is a snuggler
  226. > You check your slate, no new messages from Anon
  227. > Knowing him, he's probably run the mare ragged and topped her like a true stallionist
  228. > You could sense that big topper energy the moment you met the guy
  229. > It's just a shame he never picks up any other stallionist practices, you're sure he'd be a natural, and a good example to the colts in town
  230. > You pace back and forth and look at the clock
  231. >20:101 AM
  232. > He should be up by now, right?
  233. > You let a burst of whimsy propel you to your slate and and you draw his sigil
  234. > The slate hums like a tuning fork for several long seconds
  235. > "Ugh, uh, who is this?"
  236. > You smile, he sounds groggy, but fine
  237. "Hey big guy. Sounds like the oubliette got you, not me."
  238. > Silence
  239. > "Oh, hey Cars. Yeah, I definitely got sucked in, but I had a good time. You get to the hotel alright?"
  240. > You sprawl on a lounging chair and hold the slate to your ear
  241. "Yeah, no problems. Passed out about a third of my pamphlets and five copies of my self-help book, so I count it as a win."
  242. > "Aw, that's great. I know it was a rough start, but- what's that, Spits? Yeah, he was the one with the sign and everything."
  243. > Spits?
  244. > Can't be...
  245. > "Eh, he says I'm a natural sex-positive stallionist, so maybe it still counts."
  246. > Your blood runs cold
  247. "Your hot date was Spitfire? Bane of Stallion's rights?"
  248. > Silence
  249. > Faint, marely laughter
  250. > "Well, I can't get an answer out of her now, but she is Spitfire, captain of the 'bolts and all."
  251. > You rub your face tiredly
  252. "When I said you'd be herding with powerful mares, I didn't think you'd actually do it. Well, whatever. I just wanted to make sure you are okay and ready to meet at the station at 23 AM."
  253. > Anon chuckles
  254. > "Thanks buddy. See you there."
  255. > You hang up and roll onto your back
  256. > He swears he doesn't have any whimsy, but he's just as bad as any other colt you've known
  257. > You sigh and get to your hooves
  258. > Time to ransack the sweets of the hotel’s breakfast buffet, you have a feeling you're going to need the pick-me-up
  259.  
  260.  
  261. > You stare up
  262. "Why?"
  263. > Spitfire shrugs from her perch on Anon's shoulder
  264. > "I like it here."
  265. > Anon nods
  266. > "Not only do I get to pretend to be a pirate, but I also get to bury my face in her tuft whenever I want."
  267. > You had worried that Spitfire would corrupt him like she had so many of your peers within the movement, but you hadn't considered the possibility that they would corrupt each other in new and embarrassing directions
  268. "Get her down, ponies are staring!"
  269. > Anon glances around and rolls his eyes
  270. > You growl
  271. "She'll hit her head when you walk into the train."
  272. > Anon tilts his head, then sighs
  273. > "He's got a point. Let's get you down."
  274. > Spitfire spares you an irritated glance, then flits to the ground
  275. > "Your friend is a real downer."
  276. > You scrunch
  277. > Anon boops her to assert dominance
  278. > "None of that. He's a cool guy, who just happens to be concerned about, you know, optics."
  279. > Spitfire grimaces at the word
  280. > Anon sighs
  281. > "You don't have to agree with him, just make an effort to get along, alright?"
  282. > You are surprised when she nods and says, "Sorry I called you a downer."
  283. > You shake your head
  284. "It's fine. It's not like either of us has a good impression of the other."
  285. > Spitfire smiles ruefully at that
  286. > You look between the two of them
  287. "I just can't believe you apologized to me, and that you are actually sticking with a mare."
  288. > Anon and Spitfire share a glance
  289. > You purse your lips
  290. "Was the sex that good?"
  291. > Instantly, they smile like a cat that drank all the cream and answer in unison
  292. > "Oh yeah it was."
  293. > Celestia, there are two of them
  294. > You shake your head and turn to watch the train pull in
  295. > Maybe your really should have taken Pinion with you instead
  296. > Then you glance at Anon rubbing Spitfire's head affectionately
  297. > Well, it turned out alright anyways
  298. > And who knows, if Anon likes her, maybe Spitfire isn’t as bad as you thought.
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