Comforting a Lonely Heart Chapter 1


                                            >"Happy seventh anniversary, Darling!"

                                            >Rarity beams at Anonymous as she saunters over to the bar counter, hops up onto the seat next to him, and orders herself a deep red wine.

                                            >Anonymous smiles and thanks her, though his heart isn't entirely in it.

                                            >His eyes look faintly sunken, the look of resignation or perhaps defeat paint the weary creases that appear when he smiles.

                                            >Rarity doesn't seem to notice as she is all too happy to join in with celebrations alongside her long-time friend.

                                            >"I do apologise that I wasn't there for Pinkie's party, but I trust that it was splendid," she rambles after a sip of her wine.

                                            "Yeah, it was kind of the usual affair you can expect from her. Though to be honest, I prefer smaller and quieter stuff like this."

                                            >"Well, I like this level of soirée too, hopefully I can be more than adequate company."

                                            >Rarity firmly bumps her shoulder with Anonymous' in what would seem to most is a more boisterous gesture than what someone as ladylike as Rarity would do.

                                            >But it showed her comfort level with him, that even out in public she was here as his friend. Anonymous takes a sip of his drink behind a warmer smile.

                                            >He enjoys Rarity's company.

                                            >She was the kind of pony who if you said you've never had high-end wine, tasted 50 different cheeses, talked about the finer kinds of culture, all while wearing a large and silly hat then she would show up to your house the next afternoon to invite you on a picnic of just that.

                                            >A mare who loved the finer things and found them at their best when shared.

                                            >The bar they were in had quite a few patrons who were all chatting and drinking off into their own little worlds. Anonymous and Rarity were no different.

                                            >The two of them were capable of letting hours pass them by when they began chatting. The balance of differences and similarities would cause them to go on tangent after tangent, so much so that the beginning and end of their conversations were nothing like. It wasn't until the bartender called for last orders that they noticed the time.

                                            "I wasn't planning on keeping you this long," apologises Anonymous, "Knowing you, you were planning on getting a little more work done before turning in for the night."

                                            >Rarity scoffs and gestures dismissively, "I completed everything I needed to do today so that the rest of my evening was free. For you."

                                            "Aren't you sweet. I don't think I'll be ordering another, what about you?"

                                            >"Me neither."


                                            >As the rest of the patrons clamour for their final drink of the night, the two leave the bar. The night is still, distant critters chirp, and the moon lights their way as they walk in step.

                                            >For some reason conversation goes silent as they walk. Perhaps Rarity was enjoying the silence however Anonymous, realising he has to go home, sighs. Rarity looks up at him and examines his face.

                                            >"Are you okay?"

                                            >Anonymous seems to retreat inwardly. His face twists in a thoughtful expression as his eyes look about, as if he was searching for something on a shelf in front of him.

                                            >"Anonymous?"

                                            "Sorry, I was just thinking about that one."

                                            >She nods then waits a moment to give him time to think.

                                            "I think yes. On the whole I would say I'm okay," says Anonymous and he seems sure of that.

                                            >Noticing a bench in the corner of her eye, Rarity gestures for Anonymous to join her on the seat.

                                            >Anonymous's gaze is firmly rooted upwards to the moon and stars. In the light from them is enough to accentuate and define the features on his face. Sometimes Rarity finds it so easy to forget how alien he is.

                                            >"But there's something else."

                                            "Yeah."

                                            >Briefly in his reply, Anonymous looked at her before returning to the sky. Then he sighs much deeper and opens his mouth to speak. No words leave his lips instead he closes his mouth.

                                            >Rarity sits upright more and sternly examines her friend's face, looking for a clue. Distantly, a crows call can be heard and something about this makes Anonymous chuckle to himself.

                                            "Feels like even the birds are laughing at me," Anonymous comments with a smile toward Rarity.

                                            >"No, I'm not laughing at you," Rarity immediately replies as she places a gentle hoof on his shoulder, a show of comfort and Friendship.

                                            >Her gaze is intense and Anonymous can tell she means it. Everything about her from posture to expression radiates support. The sternness of it makes Anonymous feel uncomfortable yet grateful.

                                            >Perhaps it was the alcohol or perhaps it was just time but the need to vent felt like it was at the tipping point.

                                            >Anonymous knew that if he started it would all come out, like water over the cliff's edge he would not be able to stop the flow.

                                            >Rarity worried about Anonymous as he wasn't really the type to talk about himself. Memory was hazy in trying to recall the last time he had one of these heart-to-heart's with her.

                                            >Especially not without having to twist his arm into talking.

                                            >To make it worse, she was pretty confident that she was his closest friend so she couldn't be sure if there was someone else he would talk to about these things.

                                            >Naturally she was here for him and she cared, truly. She was worried about how much this, whatever it was, was kept bottled up.

                                            "I wasn't saying that you were. I just feel a little... Silly about the way I'm feeling, you know?"

                                            >"If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

                                            Anonymous inhaled deeply then stated, "I guess the gist of it is... I'm feeling lonely."

                                            >"Oh, Anonymous, there is nothing silly about that. Everyone feels lonely one time or another. And I'm here for you, and all your other friends are too.

                                            >You aren't alone and if there's anything we can do to make you feel less lonely, then we want to help."

                                            "In the... Lonely in the romantic sense, Rarity. Every night I go home to an empty house and while away the time before I sleep in a bed so empty it feels cold.

                                            >I feel a little dramatic saying it like that but it's been like this for years and years now. A kind of... Ache for companionship."

                                            >His head falls into his hands for a brief moment before he drags them along his face to rest upon his chin while looking Rarity's way.

                                            >He gives a superficial smile though even if it's faint, it irks Rarity.

                                            >Her brows furrow into a stern and unamused glare which Anonymous picks up on.

                                            >The smile is now gone and he sits up straight while still looking at her. The two look at one another as Rarity puzzles over her reply.

                                            >Anonymous is from another world. Here he is the only one of his kind. Truly he is unique just by being. Rarity found herself kicking herself internally for never realising such a thing.

                                            >So easy it was to forget that Anonymous was Anonymous. But also what could be done about such a thing, not even he fully knows how he got here.

                                            >Thoughts swelled in her mind but none of them were ideas on how to fix this, not one suggestion on what to do, nor could she find what to say to take the pain away.

                                            >Yet it naturally feels wrong to tell someone nothing can be done.

                                            >"I'm sorry that you're going through this. I wish I knew what we could do about it. But I am here for you. You aren’t completely alone, darling, I promise."

                                            >And without a second hesitation Rarity throws herself into a hug with Anonymous. He hugs her back tightly, his long arms and large hands enveloping her with ease.

                                            >The embrace is long and warm. Internally, Rarity tries to will feelings of comfort into Anonymous but she knows even if it were possible, it wouldn't last.

                                            >It really was little she could do here and that stung.

                                            >This hope would never be able to sate any feelings of loneliness, if that, but for the moment it was what he needed.

                                            >It was strange how physical touch could fill a person with warmth, happiness, and comfort.

                                            >But then again as he had gone so long without it, Anonymous wondered if it only felt so nice due to the starvation of it.

                                            >He wondered how long it had been since he got to regularly enjoy the touch of another and when he struggled to recall that time the feeling of daunting loneliness doubled its intense and domineering presence.

                                            "I have an idea on what I'd like to do and I'd like your help, if you're up for it."

                                            >Rarity pulled away from the hug and Anonymous buried the desire to ask for it to go on longer.

                                            >"Anything. I'd love to help." Rarity's smile was genuinely warm and inviting.

                                            "Well, don't agree to it yet. You have no idea what I’m asking."

                                            >Rarity chuckled at the odd point then nodded at him and waited patiently.

                                            "I'm not sure how to explain this, actually."

                                            >Still she continued to wait and something about that made Anonymous feel as if this put some kind of pressure on. So there was nothing for it but to try throwing it out there as it is in his head.

                                            "I want to... If you are up for helping, of course. No is perfectly okay if you aren't comfortable but I thought maybe because it had been so long for me, I might try asking your advice on how... I would try dating, you know, outside my species."

                                            >Rarity's face didn't change. She sat there in a stunned and muted silence in a bid to try and to process the information presented to her. There was this intense desire to pull away combating her wishes to be there for her friend. Though she was in disbelief she didn't need it repeated. Rarity knew what she heard, she just found herself unable to fully comprehend. And in a way repulsed.

                                            "Rarity?"

                                            >Anonymous was sitting there awkwardly and Rarity wasn't sure how much time had passed as she fought internally over what to say.

                                            >But she knew she had to reply.

                                            >But she knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

                                            >But she knew Anonymous wasn't going to like it either.

                                            >But the thought of hurting Anonymous created a pit in her stomach.

                                            >But now this moment’s pause had gone on for too long.

                                            >It needed to be said.

                                            >"You're a human," says Rarity succinctly.

                                            "Yes,” replied Anonymous, slightly embarrassed, her meaning only partially getting through to him.

                                            >The feelings she felt just did not translate into words. Though she felt that statement sums up what she feels, it clearly wasn't enough as Anonymous gave her this quizzical look.

                                            >His fingers began to fiddle and twitch in his lap as the feeling of awkwardness and regret built. The two sat there quietly, privately hoping that the other would know what to say.

                                            >Both wish there was a way to take something back, that they could both go their separate ways home and come back to see each other tomorrow.

                                            >As the silence carried further along, it became harder for Rarity to hide her internal debate.

                                            >The twisted expression on her face now read an incredible discomfort which allowed Anonymous to finally realise Rarity’s meaning. Only now did the two of them realise that this was a very serious conversation that if not handled properly could change their relationship.

                                            >"I am so sorry, Anonymous darling, I just don't think... It wouldn't be--I mean, I'm not sure I can help. With that."

                                            "Yeah. Of course. That's okay. Don't worry about it. You know what, actually, probably just forget I said anything. I must've had a bit more than I thought."

                                            >Rarity knew it was a lie. A convenient one. She made a soft chuckle and went along with it, though cursed herself for it.

                                            >Meanwhile Anonymous’ mind was a whirlwind of self-defeating guilt.

                                            >For both, their current feelings were intense and sudden, Rarity genuinely had no idea she would feel this way and Anonymous felt stupid beyond belief for even asking.

                                            >"It's getting late,” Anonymous says as he rose to his feet, “Good night Rarity, take care."

                                            >He barely hung around for enough time for Rarity to say, "you too," before he was gone. And so now Rarity was left there alone with her thoughts in a mounting feeling of regret.

                                            >Already she knew she was being an idiot and was getting angry at herself. Was it too late to chase him down and apologise or would be best to leave him for a while?

                                            >Mentally she was trapped within herself unable to make any decision however her body made it for her, without even realising it she found her way home and to her bed. Once under the covers she asked herself, "What am I doing?" Before sleep finally took her.