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RGRE Promptbin 016

By Uh-hmmm
Created: 28th February 2021 02:22:56 AM
Modified: 13th April 2021 06:55:28 PM

  1. >Dragon takes a few humans for their hoard.
  2. >Humans say 'fuck it' and start building simple houses for themselves.
  3. >Dragon somehow keeps finding more humans.
  4. >Eventually have a small village of folk living under the protection of a Dragon
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  7. >They begin to worship the dragon, not just because she protects and provides for them, but also because they're all dudes and she's the only female on the mountain.
  8. >The dragoness goes from having a hoard of exotic creatures to having a harem of exotic males.
  9. >Silverstream and Yona snort with barely repressed laughter as they read Smolder's journal.
  10. >Or more accurately, her self-insert fantasy.
  11. >If Anon, the only human student in the school read this, what would he think?
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  16. >Be Gallus
  17. >Stumble upon Smolder journal
  18. >Shit is full of self-insert stories
  19. >Most of them involving humans
  20. >Decides to show it to Anon
  21. >Not just for the lulz
  22. >But as a payback for those gay drawings of you she made
  23. >You watch anons face while reads that degenerate stories
  24. >Yfw you don’t see disgust or laughter, but interest
  25. >Yfw he hands you a book and ask to give it to smolder
  26. >Yfw when is full of degenerate and absurd fanfics
  27. >You do as he asked out of curiosity, he must have a plan to troll her hard
  28. >But no
  29. >They just start to exchange fanfics, commenting and suggesting improvements to each other work
  30. >It creates a feedback loop, making their stories even more degenerate and crazy
  31. >Yay friendship?
  32. >Tfw when they make up a pseudo pup magazine and start to publish their stories
  33. >Tfw they create a ring of students writing that shit and make drawings
  34. >Tfw there’s a 50 chapter and ongoing storie of you infiltrating evil hermaphroditic unicorn dragoness harem of exotic males
  35. >By Twilight, what have you unleash in the world ?
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  41. >Anon joins the royal guard
  42. >It's typically reserved for mares, but there's a division specifically for stallions
  43. >It's small, and it doesn't really see a lot of action, but the Captain of the Guard tries to take pride in being the head of the group
  44. >Anon does his best to do his job, but the other members of the guard don't make it easy
  45. >They worry about their manes, and they flirt with the regular guard (on occasions where the regular all-mare guard isn't flirting with them), and Anon accidentally makes one of them cry when he says that he should quit the guard if he doesn't think he can keep up
  46. >Half the time Anon catches up with the other guards, they're gossiping about who's dating whom
  47. >"Ugh. This is why nobody in Canterlot relies on stallions for anything."
  48.  
  49.  
  50. >Anonstallion stands guard while Celestia holds court. When the the noble ponies natter on and Celestia needs to maintain a look of interest and concentration, instead of letting herself fall asleep or get distracted, Anon feels magic gently lift and fondle his balls and it takes all of his concentration to keep from dropping his cock out of its sheath
  51.  
  52. >Anonstallion is a unicorn and plays dirty. When he feels the ever familiar lift, Celestia feels the oh-so sudden rub "down below".
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  59. >A dragon rules over a secluded pony village far away from the Princesses' influence and serves as its protector.
  60. >In exchange, it asks for one pony sacrifice every year.
  61. >The villagers assume it wants them for food, and offer their most useless ponies as a delicacy.
  62. >No reason to send real talent when they're just going to be a snack, after all.
  63. >The truth is the dragon is just lonely, but socially awkward, and wants friends that they don't have to worry about running away.
  64. >The dragon has two hobbies.
  65. >The first is home improvement, and it's always expanding its lair and adding new features.
  66. >The other is O&O, which they and their hoard of NEETs have been playing for years.
  67. >The dragon DM-ing a campaign that's been going on since they started.
  68. >One of the NEETs has actually been writing their game into a story, which will later become a best seller fantasy series
  69.  
  70. >A campaign that multiple generations of players have been adding to.
  71. >Delve into a dungeon crypt and fight a lich.
  72. >It was actually an old keep built by players hundreds of years before their time, and the lich is one of the former players characters that was raised by the current big bad of the campaign.
  73. The players break the big bad's control and the dragon reveals the unicorn did that IRL just so they could keep playing and joins the party
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  81. >Anon being an amateur wrestler back in high school goes professional once he gets to Equestria.
  82. >Just like earth, pro wrestling is all staged with the fixings of the usual drama.
  83. >Good thing too, because he's very rusty and he was never that great to begin.
  84. >Since the sport lacks much needed eye candy, they hire him on the spot.
  85. >To their surprise he's got a knack for being flashy, willing to learn, and by god are humans flexible.
  86. >A mare could bend him like a pretzel in ring and he walks it off like he's nothing.
  87. >He quickly adopts a badboy persona, a heart breaker that will mentally and physically break you as well.
  88. >Mares come to boo him, jill off to him, and watch strong capable mares try to humble, maybe even tame him.
  89. >Anon has nearly killed some of his peers, and some of his audience, with his finishing move, pic related
  90. >AggressivelyHumpingTheirFace.mp4
  91.  
  92. >One time at a particularly gruesome fight with the reigning mare champion, Anon pulled out his secret trump card.
  93. >The ol' Rear-ender render.
  94. >It was so devastating that there were some casualties in the audience, damn near took out the ref's eye with it too.
  95. >He promised to not use it again under any circumstance.
  96. >Unfortunately mares have been extra frisky in ring trying every trick in the book to get him to do it again.
  97. >Because it was fucking HOT
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  102.  
  103. "And that's when my tuft will get HUGE and my wings will finally be wider than Flurry's, and I solve all the unrequited love problems in Equestria!"
  104. >Shining sighs
  105. >"That's some nice fanfiction, dear. I'll prepare the beanbag by the voyeurscope, like we did last year."
  106. >You try to frown, but Shining knows you too well
  107. "And I'll get two feedbags of those stale heart-shaped candies!"
  108. >Shining kisses you on the cheek
  109. >"That's my mare."
  110. >As you make a withdrawal from the strategic candy reserves, you muse about how lucky you are
  111. >You've always been rather colty for a mare, even before becoming the embodiment of the magic of love
  112. >And yet, here you are with a loving janefilly husband who has given you a beautiful daughter
  113. >All those mares who whispered behind your back about being a foalsitter can suck your clit, you hit the jackpot with that gig
  114. >You pull a pot of tea out of stasis and two cups and return to the living room
  115. >Shining perks up at the smell
  116. >"Is that Anon's tea?"
  117. >You smile at him
  118. "I had him make it yesterday and put it into stasis. Happy Hearts and Hooves day, babe."
  119. >He accepts his cup with grin and a peck on your cheek
  120. >"You too. Now get over here and let's see the fruits of your labor."
  121. >You belly flop onto the beanbag and loop the feedbag strap behind your head
  122. >Shining leans against your side as he puts his own on
  123. >You send a spark of magic to the voyeurscope, the crystal ball shimmering to show the first of many couples awkwardly meeting for their date
  124. >Technically, the voyeurscope is an illegal artifact, grandmothered in due to its use as a historical tool of government security
  125. >But that doesn't matter, you have been preparing for this day for months
  126. >Countless letters of introduction sent (1337 according to Twilight), each with a list of suggested topics, activities, and gifts
  127. >Notices sent to the various restaurants and gift shops about what to stock up on and expect
  128. >Contracting with a sympathetic Great One to provide portals between distant lovers
  129. >All for this one day of celebration and romance
  130. >You flick from couple to couple to herd, smiling in satisfaction as their relationships deepen before you
  131. >Hours pass, consumed in stale candy, delicious tea, cuddling, and observing your matchmaking results
  132. >You can't help but notice how Shining has been nuzzling your neck, nosing closer and closer to your tuft
  133. >You flick the scope to one last couple
  134. >Anon, your ever vigilant, ever diligent foalsitter, keeping an eye on Flurry while scratching and petting Raven Inkwell
  135. >The poor, overworked mare practically melts on his lap, a blissful expression on her face
  136. >Perfect
  137. >You deactivate the scope and roll Shining onto his back
  138. >He stares up at you with a cute blush on his face
  139. >You climb on top of him, shoving his snout into your tuft and straddling his hips
  140. "You've been so patient with me, my love. It's time for your reward."
  141. >He makes a muffled whimper, and you can feel his need, hot and rising between your legs
  142. >You may be one of the luckiest mares in Equestria, time to prove it
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  149. >Though the exact conversion rate differs from pony to pony and even creature to creature, at least part of all caloric intake goes into fueling mana generation.
  150. >Magically powerful individuals like Pinkie, Twilight, and even Rainbow Dash have to eat a lot of food to keep their magical reserves high.
  151. >Twiggy Piggy earned her nickname for having to eat thrice as much as her classmates to keep her magic up when they were foals, and that still holds true today.
  152. >In fact, ponies in general eat quite a lot for their size.
  153. >Big heaping plates of pancakes with berries and whip cream piled high is a commonly seen and healthy breakfast for most ponies.
  154. >Even other, less magically gifted species like griffons or diamond dogs still eat quite a lot.
  155. >So humans, with no magic to speak of, stand out for their comparatively small appetites.
  156. >Anon, the newest resident of Ponyville, stands out in this regard.
  157. >Ponies will see him eat a mere three or four pancakes and wash it down with a cup of black coffee and say he's full, and simply not believe it.
  158. >As a matter of fact, there's worrying rumors going around that Anon might even have an eating disorder.
  159. >He's so tall and skinny that it can't be a healthy weight, and ponies worry that he's anorexic.
  160. >Mares make subtle comments about how stallions with meat on their bones are sexy, and that not every stallion needs to be a super model.
  161. >Stallions invite him to sleepovers and offer plenty of tasty snacks, making sure he sees that they're eating too and that it's okay to join in.
  162. >Anon really a healthy weight, but if ponies keep trying to shovel food down his throat, he won't be for much longer
  163.  
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  167.  
  168. >Once ponies found out humans were usually monogamous by choice if not by nature, you kind of became a hot item
  169. >Friendship is magic here and all that, but the idea of not sharing a stallion looked good to a lot of mares
  170. >There had been a lot of them hitting on you, doing weird horse displays, one upping each other
  171. >Once or twice, mares would break out into fights
  172. >It was flattering, really it was, but you didn't have any interest
  173. >Them being small horses and all
  174. >The boasting and bragging was also one hell of a turn off, hooves or not
  175. >You thought you had it all figured out
  176. >What you weren't expecting was some of these little horses being clever
  177. >Fluttershy, animal enthusiast and town coward, came to you one day
  178. >She told you she had an embarrassing problem
  179. >A problem that she couldn't take to anypony but you
  180. >She didn't even want her friends to know
  181. >She had no idea what to do around a stallion; how to act, talk, ANYTHING
  182. >She needed help, and practice
  183. >Sure, you weren't really a stallion, but you were close enough, and she didn't trust anypony else with the information, since she really didn't want teased or made fun of
  184. >How could you say not, especially when she looked up at you with her big, blue eyes
  185. >You agreed to help, since Fluttershy was so happy that she did a flip in the air
  186. >So, she took you around
  187. >You walked together, talked, had a few "mock" dates
  188. >You went out to eat a few times, then up to Canterlot to see a movie
  189. >It was kind of fun, and got you out of the house
  190. >You had no idea just how devious and Machiavellian the little pegasus was
  191. >After one "date", she invited you back to her cottage
  192. >There was some cute little kittens that she wanted you to see
  193. >When you lost track of time playing with the adorable little furballs, she insisted that you stay until morning
  194. >It was too dangerous after dark, she said
  195. >Creatures liked to come from the Everfree and roam around, especially with how close to was to that spooky forest
  196. >So you agreed
  197. >You didn't think much of it, even as you slowly began to spend the night more and more
  198. >Then it started getting cold
  199. >The next time you came over, Fluttershy shyly suggested that you sleep together
  200. >She had forgotten to get extra firewood, and Mr. Bear had torn up some of her blankets, and she hadn't gotten around getting them fixed
  201. >She was a pegasus, meaning she's be extra warm, and with a blanket over the two of you you'd be comfortable
  202. >This was when warning signs would have starting popping up
  203. >But, again, you didn't think anything of us, just assuming that the mare was just being thoughtful
  204. >Then Fluttershy began suggesting that you practice kissing
  205. >"Just in case I have a date soon. I wouldn't want to look silly."
  206. >And then she somehow figured out you liked long socks
  207. >And large, round rumps
  208. >That was many years ago
  209. >You had three foals
  210. >Fluttershy was the envy of the town, and walked around like her teats were big enough to drag on the ground
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  217. >glimglam loved stories growing up
  218. >autistically so
  219. >learned story structure and narrative
  220. >realized that this shit goes on IRL
  221. >wonders why
  222. >realizes there's an extremely subtle magical signature around every creature, herself included
  223. >focuses her magic studies on this
  224. >realizes that it's Fate's puppet strings
  225. >existentialcrisis.gif
  226. >either not believed when she goes to canterlot or told not to meddle with fate
  227. >resolves to free ponies from Fate so they are free to choose their own destiny
  228. >attempts to sever her own strings, thinks she got them
  229. >Our Town was the (admittedly immoral) first attempt at it
  230. >once she gets over her revenge obsession she realizes that she never cut her strings and played the part of a villian of Twilight's story
  231. >existentialcrisis2.boogaloo
  232. >takes some time away to reflect
  233. >meets anon
  234. >realizes she can't detect any of Fate's strings around anon
  235. >afraid to believe but the idea of somecreature truly free of Fate's machinations draws her like a starving mare to food
  236. >something something teach me master
  237. >something something wonders if that trait can be passed on to her foals
  238. >something something RGRE
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  240.  
  241. I like to think that Anon just gets these bouts of random dread deep in his gut whenever he's close to fate's attempted path for him. Could be as simple as fate REALLY wants Anon to go buy a watermelon from the market because then he'll make friends with a mare he'll meet there, and Anon will NOPE the fuck out and stay home that day. But with Anon's luck, he gets most of them in already spooky situations.
  242.  
  243. >Be Anon
  244. >Be about to take the trash out
  245. >You glance out your window - inky blackness
  246. >You were lazy and didn't take the trash out, but tomorrow is garbage day
  247. >You casually open the door and walk outside
  248. "Sure is dark."
  249. >But you live in a safe part of town, so you aren't... that, uh...
  250. >You aren't... worried...?
  251. >As you approach one of your bushes, dread suddenly begins to pool in your belly
  252. >You're suddenly aware that there are NO sounds around you - not even crickets
  253. >Fuck, it's NEVER GOOD when nature shuts its fucking whore mouth.
  254. >The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and some deep, privative part of your brain is SCREAMING at you that something is wrong.
  255. >You are in DANGER.
  256. >This is every horror game you've ever played.
  257. >This is every internet jumpscare from back when you were stupid enough to click on screamer websites.
  258. >This is bad.
  259. "Fuck this."
  260. >You'll put up with an extra week of garbage sitting around.
  261. >Without missing a beat, and trying to remain quiet, you start walking backwards towards your front door.
  262. >On the way there, your arm brushes up against your mailbox and you scream like a bitch.
  263. ---
  264. >Be Fate
  265. >You really want that fucking monkey to take his trash out
  266. >Because when he brings it to the curb, you can nudge things juuuust enough that the garbage mare will trip over it
  267. >Then she'll be in a bad mood and go to a bar after work for a drink, and then she'll meet an old friend
  268. >But THIS FUCKING MONKEY just turned around and went back inside.
  269. >Son of a BITCH
  270.  
  271.  
  272. "You ever feel like something is... wrong, I guess?"
  273. >Glimmer continues to read her book.
  274. "Like, I'll suddenly get a craving for some sort of food that I haven't had in a long time, and I'll want to go to the market. But going out the door is such an odd feeling, like I keep expecting something bad to happen. So, I turn around and stay inside."
  275. >An ear twitches, and she turns a page.
  276. "And then later, I find out that there was some sort of altercation in the marketplace. Y'know, back home, I'm sure I'd be able to find some internet group who'd tell me I have 'ESP' or whatever it's called. I keep getting bad feelings when something weird happens."
  277. >SLAM
  278. >You look over and Glimmer is staring at you, eyes wide
  279. >Her book is on the floor.
  280. >"...say that again?"
  281. "...I keep getting bad feelings when something weird happens?"
  282. >"And... and you just decide not to do those weird things?"
  283. "I mean, yeah. I'll get the urge to do something weird, but something in my gut tells me it's a bad idea. So, I don't."
  284. >Glimmer begins to hyperventilate.
  285. >"Oh my Celestia. Oh my Celestia. Oh my Celestia."
  286. >Her pupils shrink to pinpricks, and you can see frothy sweat breaking out on her forehead.
  287. >You slowly reach out a hand to give her ear-scratches
  288. >Bitches LOVE ear-scratches
  289. "Glimmer? Glim-Glam? Are you oka-"
  290. >Without warning, Glimmer lurches towards you and wraps her entire body around your arm, nearly pulling you onto her.
  291. >"A-Are you looking f-for a roommate, Anon? Huh? I bet I'd be the best roommate ever."
  292. >Her smile is painfully wide.
  293. >"I promise to not try and seize the means of production, I swear! Nopony will be more equal than anypony else!"
  294. >You are Anon, and you think you just got yourself into some deep shit.
  295.  
  296. >Anon's Fate Avoidance is so strong that he does Actual Accidental Encounters instead of just Fated Encounters.
  297. >Like being friends with Glimmer
  298.  
  299. >Be Fate.
  300. >This is bad.
  301. >Very very VERY bad.
  302. >Glimmer is NOT supposed to befriend Anon like this!
  303. >That monkey has been making things so difficult for the last few months, and is now just refusing to listen to you all together!
  304. >You've tried it all: whispers in his sleep, cosmic messages, literally spelling it out in his alphabet soup- NOTHING IS WORKING!
  305. >-And now Starlight Glimmer, the one who was supposed to go to Twilight Sparkle's home to instigate what would eventually be a friendship lesson, has now begun to develop an unhealthy interest in Anonymous!
  306. >What are you supposed to do now?!?
  307. >If your boss finds out then you're going to be in BIG trouble!
  308. "Buck, this is getting ridiculous!"
  309. >The human spins on his heels and looks around in a panic.
  310. >"Did you hear that?"
  311. >Can they hear you?
  312. "Can they hear me?"
  313. >"There it is again!"
  314. >Oh, buck. . .
  315.  
  316. >Fate's boss is, of course, Harmony.
  317. >Some folks believe they are the same person but it's more like they are related, like Sisters or what have you. Whatever the Celestial Being version of it is.
  318. >Fate got the job because Harmony trusted them and they actually had been doing a pretty damn good job of it.
  319. >...until Anon came along.
  320. >Fate worries of being fired but Harmony already knows of the monkey man.
  321. >...namely because Harmony can't fucking touch him and he's like a little ball of Controlled Chaos.
  322. >She doesn't mention it to Fate because Harmony feels it's embarrassing.
  323. >Same goes for Fate when they end up running into the bastard.
  324. >Cue the shenanigans
  325.  
  326.  
  327.  
  328. >Fate-pone knows there is going to be a monster attack in ponyville and that its going to crash through Anons house despite her best efforts.
  329. >Tries everything to get him out for the day from ponies inviting him places, surprise contest winning he never even entered even Princess Celestia inviting him for tea, all of which ignored or declined.
  330. >Until finally as she watches helplessly as the bug bear is about to crash through his wall she just yells at him directly to "DUCK!".
  331. >And for once he actually listens and dives under his table just in time.
  332. >Both stare in shock for a moment before Anon scrambles to his feet and starts running, Fate-pone snapping off one word directions for him to Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge that'll lead him to safety.
  333. >Anon is feeling extremely lucky for managing to avoid the monster while Fate-pone thinks she's finally figured out how to work with the distrustful monkey.
  334. >Dont give him a chance to second-guess her suggestions, harder to deal with than regular ponies but not impossible
  335.  
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  337.  
  338.  
  339. >At the dawn of civilization, a unicorn mare named Looming Closer had a bit more foresight than most ponies
  340. >She'd hear villagers gossip as she wove threads into cloth, and occasionally step out to give some advice to those that need it
  341. >Being a somewhat colty mare, she started increasing the range of her hearing with magic, to catch more of the gossip, and maybe hear some naughty activities going on
  342. >But as she learned more and more about the ponies in the village, the more she wanted to fix their problems
  343. >Two friends who aren't sure their love is required
  344. >A mare framed for eating the last slice of cake
  345. >A foal, lost in the market, crying for his father
  346. >And so Looming developed another spell, to let her whisper to distant ponies
  347. >Over time, the village grew into a town, then a city as Looming' meddling smoothed the lives of its inhabitants, saving them time and bringing justice
  348. >The mare herself grew in magical power due to the constant exercise of her abilities, broadening her range and letting her see and hear a great deal
  349. >Then Discord happened
  350. >Looming nearly went insane from seeing and hearing all the torment the city was going through
  351. >She used her magic to fuel her body for weeks without sleep, monitoring everything in her range for the slightest twitch that would signal some new chaos, the mere second of warning it gave saving many, but too few lives
  352. >When at last Discord was imprisoned, she relaxed
  353. >Only to find the strain had consumed her body, she was little more than ordered magic, floating above a warped and dusty loom
  354. >The next few decades were a time of discovery for her, learning the limits and capabilities of her new form
  355. >Looming could monitor acres and acres of area, but it was nearly impossible to whisper discernably at the same time
  356. >She got subtle, threading concepts into the weaves of other ponies' minds
  357. >She also grew fascinated with a certain unicorn stallion
  358. >Starswirl opened her eyes to maledom and wizard robes
  359. >He also gave her insight into the nature of time, letting her look into the near future
  360. >She began to influence what she saw as pivotal beings
  361. >There were more than a few blunders, in retrospect she shouldn't have influenced that art critic to dismiss Sombra's painting
  362. >But she played a large role in stabilizing Celestia and Luna's rule, exposing corrupt and selfish nobles, nudging more diligent and moral ponies to step into leadership positions
  363. >The Pax Celestia took maintenance, but Looming was able to thwart almost every plot against the royal sisters
  364. >When Nightmare Moon was banished, she began her work to cultivate the elements of harmony in the population, nudging and arranging and creating bloodlines of virtuous and powerful ponies
  365. >Her future insight grew, and she prepared meticulously to combat the results of her failures and the pre-existing calamities such as Tirek
  366. >Even so, she never stopped leading stray foals to their parents, helping ponies find good matches, making sure that corrupt ponies got their just deserts
  367. >It's a relief when the last major calamity of the next hundred years is dealt with, and she doesn't have to worry and fret about keeping everypony safe
  368. >And then this green monkey shows up, and he snarls up and spits out any attempt to find him a good mare, or help a foal find their teddy bear, or any number of little things that make life easier
  369.  
  370.  
  371.  
  372. >Sombra is the reason the empire is pure A E S T H E T I C
  373. >Before him the crystal ponies barely had a respectable town hall, let alone fully functional yet also practical arcitecture for the city that perfectly balances all residential and industrial areas, all in the shape of the national flag AND can be expanded upon as needed due to the fractal nature of the design.
  374. >Sure the evil magic induced crystals but a dampener on things for the average pony but clean that up a bit and nobody can argue that it doesnt look great
  375.  
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  377.  
  378.  
  379.  
  380. >Be anon
  381. >Get summoned to tiny horse 40k
  382. >Twilight the Purple can't believe she actually summoned something that wasn't made out of tentacles and nightmares
  383. >YFW she fucking squealed in joy from the gact that you can translate all the tomes from ancient Terra
  384. >YFW you have to tell her you can only translate the english ones and a bit if the spanish ones
  385.  
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  391.  
  392. >when anon was reborn in to anonicorn, he was reborn again with his innocence
  393. >anon and anonicorn are simply the same person/pony but is separate by cynicism and naiveté
  394. >anonicorn is all what anon is past life never really experienced
  395. >security
  396. >safety
  397. >and love
  398.  
  399. >the doomstar is the manifestation of anon's past life
  400. >sadness
  401. >loneliness
  402. >stress
  403. >anxiety
  404. >but also include what he has learned throughout his adult life
  405. >the reason anonicorn "purges" this from his body, is too keep him innocent
  406. >to allow anon to still have his new life in peace
  407.  
  408. >as anonicorn grows he has glimpses of the sadness of anon's old life
  409. >but each purge will allow him to forget
  410. >eventually anonicorn will have to face the doomstar
  411. >to face his past
  412.  
  413.  
  414.  
  415.  
  416.  
  417.  
  418. >Traditional pegasus waifu
  419. >Gets along with Anon, good friends with him, etc
  420. >Makes a habit of perching on his back like a backpack
  421. >Those familiar with old pegasus traditions had an idea of what that meant
  422. >Some stallions found that borderline sexually abusive; others found it weirdly romantic
  423. >Anon thinks it's cute and likes having her around
  424. >Stealthily tried to fly him up a few times, but failed to
  425. >It's okay, she likes'em thicc
  426. >Works out all year to get stronger
  427. >Wing exercises to strengthen the wing muscles
  428. >Meticulous preening to pull out damaged or old feathers that would otherwise impede or retard the growth of newer, better feathers
  429. >Increased protein in her diet to fuel muscle growth
  430. >Mating season comes around again
  431. >Traditional pegasus waifu takes her place on Anon's back
  432. >Spreads her wings wide
  433. >BIG FLAPS
  434. "What are yo-woooaahhh!"
  435. >Anon's feet leave the ground
  436. >"And that, foals, is how I met your father."
  437.  
  438.  
  439.  
  440.  
  441.  
  442.  
  443.  
  444.  
  445. >Eris and Anon finally decide to have a kid
  446. >After a mighty struggle with her eldritch uterus his sperm finally gets her pregnant
  447. >She gets bored of the extra weight quickly and tries snapping her claws to age up the kid to be healthy and get it out
  448. >But it doesn't work
  449. >The baby inherits her chaos magic so she can't use her get out of everything free card on it
  450. >Panicking ensues
  451. "Eris just calm down, it'll be fine"
  452. >"FINE!? Are you seriously that dumb? I grew up on my magic"
  453. "Well it can't be that bad, you should be able to adapt pretty quickly without it"
  454. >"Anon, honey, babe, you're being stupid again, and not in the cute way that made me fall for you."
  455. "But-"
  456. >"The most exercise I've gotten in my entire life is when I had to walk through Chrysalis's hive"
  457. "Oh"
  458. >"Yeah! Oh! Oh shit, what if it stops my other magic, what if I can't teleport? What if I can't warp reality? How am I supposed to get into places?"
  459. "Maybe you could use a door?"
  460. >"What you mean that thing that peasants use?"
  461. >God damn it some days you love your wife and some days you hate her
  462. >You're not sure which it is today
  463.  
  464.  
  465.  
  466.  
  467.  
  468.  
  469.  
  470. >It's been centuries since the last time there was an assassination attempt on an Alicorn.
  471. >They used to be a regular occurrence, especially just after Luna was Mooned, and Celestia was the only one around.
  472. >Most commonly from foreign powers seeking to weaken Equestria, but also the occasional uppity noble who didn't like the decisions being made
  473. >Celestia is famed for practically never directly retaliating or even acknowledging that an attempt on her life was made.
  474. >Quite a few dignitaries were expecting a few threats, or at the very least an exceptionally menacing look full of implied 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.'
  475. >But she was always sunshine and smiles, happy to share another slice of cake and some tea.
  476. >In some ways this was even more unnerving than to be confronted by an angry sun goddess.
  477. >These beings who believed themselves powerful, now forced to see another who considers their actions not even worth noticing.
  478.  
  479. >Celly could pull this off because in most cases she was truly unaware than anything untoward had occurred.
  480. >And only occasionally did she rely on her impressive powers of Regeneration to survive. (Usually when a poisoning was attempted)
  481. >No, in most cases she Mrs. Magoo'ed her way out of danger.
  482. >After it happened enough times, the superstition that spread around the world was the Fate itself protected her, making any further attempts folly.
  483.  
  484. >The only attempts on her life she ever acknowledged, were ones that did not only target her, but were part of the most recent supervillain trying to take over the world and flat out attacking the castle. Complete with monologuing, publicly challenging her, and so on.
  485. >something something RGRE
  486.  
  487.  
  488.  
  489.  
  490.  
  491.  
  492.  
  493. >Be Rasputanon
  494. >Going around Equestria using your fucking sick magic powers you got from God
  495. >Tell these unenlightened ponies of how you were the royal physician
  496. >The little prince had weak blood so you smacked his doctors and got them to fuck off
  497. >The tsar was a total bro, really chill, truly a best friend
  498. >His wife was a cunt though
  499. >Total prude and she talked shit about you behind your back
  500. >But the nobles were the worst
  501. >They actually thought you fucked the queen while your best friend was trying his best to lead the country during a war
  502. >You might have used drugs and fucked like a rabbit but you honored the bro-code
  503. >Then the fuckers fed you poison cake and wine
  504. >Honestly it was pretty good/10 would be poisoned again
  505. >After you asked for seconds the bastards shot you and threw you in a river
  506. >At least you think that's what happened, your memory gets fuzzy after you felt the furst bullet lodge itself in your chest
  507. >After you spread your life story, or as the ponies called it "mad ramblings" enough they sent their tsar to come meet you
  508. >It was a she
  509. >Fuck, hope she's not as bad as the queen back in Russia
  510. >Turns out she's pretty chill
  511. >She reminds you of the tsar
  512. >You miss him sometimes
  513. >At least you and Celestia can have fun regaling each other of your adventures in court
  514. >She even enjoy poison too
  515.  
  516.  
  517.  
  518.  
  519.  
  520.  
  521. >Be Discord
  522. >You know that Eris is a turbo virgin marecel with no hopes of ever getting the D without your help
  523. >Certainly not with a normal creature
  524. >Thats why you are not choosing a normal creature
  525. >You plants the seeds on Twilight's head and give a little push, causing a chain reaction that ends with Twilight accidentally stranding a creature as weird as you in Equestria with no way back
  526. >Anon The hyoo'man is just the combination of uncolt reckless, crazy and nerd you needed
  527. >He isn't as frightened as you expected, he told purplesmart he was some type of wizard, occultist or whatever /x/fag means
  528. >His world apparently goes to periods of chaos and order, low and high magic by what he told
  529. >That will be perfect
  530. >Justasplan.warp
  531. >You could convince Anon to let Eris teach him about chaos, and use it to convince the ponies to let her be his guide in this world
  532. >Then you will just need to nudge him in the right direction in the road of friendship fuckery that worked so well for you and Fluttershy
  533. >Now you just need to swip Twilight to the side before she start getting any ideas…
  534.  
  535.  
  536.  
  537.  
  538.  
  539. >Be Sunset
  540. >You loved your boyfriend Anon
  541. >He was a good cook, a good cleaner, good looking, and he might have enjoyed a good fuck more than you
  542. >He was out of this world, both catch-wise and in a literal sense
  543. >There was an issue however
  544. >He had been in Equestria for sometime before coming through the portal and moving in with you
  545. >More than long enough for magic to seep into his body
  546. >Now, he wasn't the same sort of human that you had here
  547. >He was... built different
  548. >Twilight had given you a novel-sized stick of papers showing the differences
  549. >That meant that he didn't turn into an evil monster once he got a hold of some magic
  550. >But
  551. >That didn't mean magic didn't have some funny effects on him
  552. >Twice a year, for around two or three weeks, Anon would undergo a change
  553. >It was like he went into heat
  554. >You'd think that would be sexy, right?
  555. >Just a bit colt wanting nothing but sex
  556. >The thing was that this seemed far worse than anything you had felt when you were a unicorn
  557. >Anon went from a sweet, gentle, shy boy into little more than a leaking, crazed animal that wanted nothing more than to stuff holes
  558. >You were a pretty tough gal, but you had seen him put a hole through a steel door
  559. >He could hurt himself, he could hurt you; Celestia above, he could hurt someone
  560. >It was like you were dealing with a grumpy bear
  561. >And you had no idea how to deal with bears
  562. >But you did know somehow who did
  563. >In fact, you had seen her JUDO THROW a fucking bear
  564. >A big ol black bear
  565. >She just tossed it like it was a big dog
  566. >So, you went to her and explained the situation
  567. >Oddly enough, it didn't take much to convince her to help you
  568. >She actually seemed interested in seeing how Anon would react to her
  569. >Which is where you found yourself
  570. >In your bedroom
  571. >Door locked
  572. >Anon was tied to a metal chair; first with duct tape then rope
  573. >He was naked as well, and there was a blue tarp underneath the chair
  574. >Fluttershy straddled him, gently, but firmly pressing his face between her tits
  575. >She was wearing shorts and a low cut top
  576. >Her skin was shiny with sweat
  577. >Apparently, she had worked out before coming over
  578. >Something about wanting to see if Anon was receptive to pheromones in sweat
  579. >He certainly calmed down
  580. >Before she entered the room he had been snarling, trying to rip out of his bindings
  581. >Now thought?
  582. >He was as docile as a puppy, nuzzling his face between your buddy's e-cups
  583. >Fluttershy had an arm around his neck and a hand on his head, running her fingers through his hair as she licked and sucked on her tits
  584. >His cock was pressed against her shorts, and has leaking like a facet
  585. >"Oh, you're doing so well, Anon," Fluttershy said with a smile. "See how nice it is when you aren't grumpy?"
  586. >She giggled as Anon managed to wrangle her nipple out of her top and gently bit it
  587. >You watched as his cock throbbed, sending a spurt of him onto the tarp below
  588. >Thank Celestia you had listened to Flutters and got the tarp, otherwise you'd have ruined your poor carpet by now
  589. >Nuzzling the top of his head, Fluttershy looked over at you
  590. >"Thank you again for asking me to help, Sunset," she said. "I know the other girls might poke fun at you, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a girl asking another girl to help satisfy her man. There's absolutely no shame in admitting you need that help; in fact, it makes you a bigger woman in my eyes."
  591. >You blinked
  592. "I"M NOT A FUCKING CUC--"
  593. >Anon let out a groan
  594. >You watched as Anon let loose rope after rope of thick cum
  595. >Fluttershy just giggled again, wiggling her big, dumb, stupid ass back and forth
  596. >...
  597. >Fucking Fluttershy
  598.  
  599.  
  600.  
  601.  
  602.  
  603.  
  604. >ywn start dating Twilight
  605. >ywn get teased by Cadence for being a weird janefilly who fell for a book nerd
  606. >ywn feel like tweaking her nose
  607. >ywn make a habit of ordering or making pizza that have toppings she wouldn't approve of
  608. >You expected her to hate pineapples, but she actually liked them a lot
  609. >ywn fail to realize just how seriously Cadence takes pizza
  610. >ywn find out from Twilight (after an aggressive cuddle-session because she was angry at Cadence) that the pink alicorn was trying to convince Twilight that you were "bad news"
  611. >"I'm the princess of love, Twilight! I know these things! C'mon, he likes his pizza that has its sauce replaced with ranch dressing! He once tried to serve me an' Shiny pizza with onions and tomato on it! How can you trust him to be a househusband if his taste in pizza is that horrible?!"
  612. >Candy now crosses herself and carries religious icons with her whenever you come visit the Crystal Empire
  613. >"By the holy mother, I walk in the valley of death but I am not afraid..."
  614. >You're getting a bit worried
  615. >You think she's actually starting to believe you are some sort of devil
  616.  
  617.  
  618.  
  619.  
  620.  
  621.  
  622.  
  623. >Ponies can sense when someone's gone without a hug for a while
  624. >It's something inherently magical and can be felt like a change in the air pressure
  625. >When alerted to the problem a properly trained nurse mare will tend to the patient
  626. >Sitting down over a nice meal, chatting about life and plenty of hugs later, and the pony is back to normal
  627. >Enter Anonymous and holy shit
  628. >Normally it felt like a shift in the air pressure, but Anonymous makes it feel like a black hole is taking a mid-afternoon stroll through town
  629. >Protocols were put in place in case of an emergency like this
  630. >But they were made a few centuries ago and have literally never been used
  631. >It takes the horspital a few hours to dig far enough into their to find it
  632. >In case of this particular phenomenon a registered physical affection therapist with at least a masters in whimsy containment and a doctorate in hug expertise will need to be assigned to the patient 24/7
  633. >The mare's job will not be done until the patient has been sufficiently cared for to restore the ambient magical balance
  634. >Less than a hooful of mares in Ponyville have those kind of credentials
  635. >Nurse Red Heart, Pinkamena Diane Pie and Applejack
  636.  
  637.  
  638.  
  639.  
  640.  
  641. >Ever since those Horsemen had arrived from Twilight's attempt at scrying the river in the Everfree, things have been a bit-
  642. >"Twilight the Horsemen are baiting a hydra again!"
  643. >Setting aside your quill for your journal you groan as Applejack barged into your home.
  644. "Does Fluttershy know yet?"
  645. >"No, but if she doesn't yet she soon will, them stallions have been leading it about trying to stab the poor fella."
  646. "You know that's probably the same hydra that tried to eat us?"
  647. >"Sure, but that's just a critter being hungry, those stallions are just bein cruel."
  648. >You sighed then focused on your magic, jumping between places you arrived near Draumrland.
  649. >Already you could hear the hooting of the horsemen and the plaintive cry of a hydra in pain.
  650. >Near the border of the Everfree that already was pushed back from the bright axes of the Horsemen
  651. >You spied a group assailing the hydra, many a spear sticking out of it while one horseman leapt atop its back with a battle cry.
  652. >A head of the beast whipped out and sent the horseman tumbling only for him to stand upright laughing uproariously.
  653. >That's it!
  654. >Zapping in between the hydra and horsemen you strained your magic freezing all participants.
  655. "What is wrong with you stallions?! We've already told you that you're not supposed to hunt the hydras in the Everfree! It's dangerous for you!"
  656. >"Haha! Great Volva be at peace! Tis only good sport to show our worth to Odin above!"
  657. >Of course the worst of the rabble rousers, Annon Incogson managed to grin at you held as he was by your magic, this stallion was driving you to resort your library from his whimsy!
  658.  
  659. "Which you can show in other ways than harming the local wild life, don't you remember the last time with Fluttershy?"
  660. >At the mention of your kind hearted friend many a horseman shivered in place while Annon simply laughed, "Oh yes, she threw quite the left hook, or would it be hoof? Regardless, release us so we might continue!"
  661. >You began to see red.
  662. >With a grunt you teleport the hydra into the forest while you set aside the other complaining horsemen down to sit.
  663. "No! That's it! I've had it! You're all too whimsical for your own good and you're going to school!"
  664. >"What's a skool?"
  665. >"Is the Volva bringing us mead? Skal great Volva!"
  666. >"I've worked up quite the thirst I'll admit, some mead would sound good about now."
  667.  
  668. >Dear Princess Celestia, you think you might have bitten off more than you can chew...
  669.  
  670.  
  671.  
  672.  
  673.  
  674.  
  675. >anon lands in RGRE
  676. >becomes rich in celestia's service by giving them earth ideas and doing his old earth -insert job here- for the crown
  677. >buys a home away from canterlot just to escape the nonsense of the royal court
  678. >eventually needs a servant to take care of the home
  679. >hires maids to for the upkeep of the homesteadis RGRE of butler still maid?
  680. >eventually he starts to take advantage of his riches and status as the 'fairer sex' to get his maids in to rather skimpy uniforms for his own pleasure
  681.  
  682. >be maidpone
  683. >dear penthorse
  684. >you will not believe what happened to me...
  685.  
  686.  
  687.  
  688.  
  689.  
  690.  
  691. >Anonicorn during estrus season.
  692. >old enough to notice something pleasant about a lot of the mares in the castle, but the hormones are just not quite there yet.
  693. >spends a whole day complimenting heavily blushing mares on how they smell or how fluffy their tails look before a frazzled looking Cadence with an equally frazzled looking Shining armor take him to go do some baking.
  694. >Celestia has to actively restrain her sister from inflicting nightmares on half the castle that night after she witnesses a few guilty dreams
  695.  
  696.  
  697. >Celestia reluctantly accept that the time has come and tries to have “the talk” with anon
  698. >She was more embarrassed then him, kept stumbling over her words and trying to use some non-sensical metaphors
  699. >She wasn’t ready for it
  700. >In the end that only manage to make Anon even more confuse
  701. >And worse of all, maybe even curious
  702. >Anon was always the type to come up with little experiments and try new things, and now that disposition of his is starting worrying the princess
  703. >Celly kind off messed up and she knows it
  704. >In desperation for what could happen she gos to Candance for help
  705. >After stopping laughing Candyass decides to give Anon some sex-ed classes
  706.  
  707.  
  708.  
  709.  
  710.  
  711.  
  712.  
  713. >Anon crash lands in Fluttershy's cottage one day due to "LET'S GET HIS ASS HERE NOW" shenanigans.
  714. >While she is more forgiving than others (especially considering how he spooked her real bad), he still feels kinda bad about fucking up her home and offers to help fix up what he can...when he recovers from his sudden interdimensional jetlag.
  715. >Little does he know, Fluttershy is sweating up a storm and trying real hard not to spill her Pony Spaghetti everywhere. Not because he's a colt (ok, not FULLY because he's a colt) but also because he fits the description of a popular "Monster Colt" that stars in various media.
  716. >...not just neighponese stuff, she swears.
  717. >And now he's insisting on helping her out. And living with her.
  718. >By Celestia if she were a bolder mare, she'd feel smug about this
  719.  
  720.  
  721.  
  722.  
  723.  
  724.  
  725.  
  726. >Rainbow Dash is not the most technical of ponies
  727. >Has no patience for when things take time, or for things that take patience in general
  728. >Computers can slow down, glitch out, need to be restarted to get something to work, etc
  729. >Rainbow Dash gets bored, fed up, and decides computers just aren't worth it
  730. >But when Anon talks about a genre of gaming that involves being as fast as possible?
  731. >Rainbow Dash takes interest.
  732. >"This is a whole new way for me to go fast, Twilight! How can I go to sleep tonight knowing that I'm slower than everyone else at something?! HOW?!"
  733. >Fast-going is Rainbow's crack
  734. >The allure is enough to make her slow down and think for a change
  735. >Finds the patience to use computers
  736. >Learns how they operate
  737. >Installs games
  738. >Plays them
  739. >Looks up various exploits
  740. >Meticulously combs each map, trying to put combinations of exploits to use to cut down her time
  741. >Months go by
  742. >Rainbow has become one of the top speed-runners out there
  743. >She was the last one anybody expected to be good enough at computers to beat everyone else
  744.  
  745.  
  746.  
  747.  
  748.  
  749. >Guys night in Discords holodeck RPG.
  750. >Discord overhears Anon mention speedrunning and gets a kick out of the idea.
  751. >Challenges Anon to speedrun his life for a week, giving him minor reality warping powers to do so.
  752. >The reward is instructions on how said powers work.
  753. >Anon tries to recreate popular speedrunning techniques like clipping through walls and building up momentum.
  754. >Ponies just see a colt being extremely whimsical and try to calm him down.
  755. >Always miss the moment he succeeds at whatever skip he's doing.
  756. >Ponk catches on by the third day and thinks she's found a kindred spirit
  757.  
  758.  
  759.  
  760.  
  761.  
  762.  
  763.  
  764. >Anon is a fit man who enjoys the outdoors and working out.
  765. >Celestia, wanting to impress this fine male specimen, says she also is quite athletic and outdoorsy.
  766. >Which might have been true pre-unification when she and Luna were just commoners living in medieval times, but she hasn't had a good workout in over a thousand years.
  767. >But she's an alicorn, so how bad of shape can she be in.
  768. >Twenty minutes into their nature hike, and all of Celestia's legs are cramping up and she's pretty sure her lungs are bleeding.
  769. >Thus the sight of Anon carrying the chubby sun princess back to civilization where she's seen by all.
  770. >Maybe she really does need to lay off the cake
  771.  
  772.  
  773.  
  774.  
  775.  
  776.  
  777. >You are Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash is trying to help you ask out the new boy in school.
  778. >He just seems so different than the other boys.
  779. "And you're sure that will work?"
  780. >"Sure I'm sure. Guys love math jokes. How do you think Twilight got a guy?"
  781. >She does have a good point.
  782. >"And if that doesn't work, just ask him if he'd like to suck some Dees."
  783. "Some dees?"
  784. >She points to her chest.
  785. >"Dees tits."
  786. "So I should ask if he wants to suck your tits?"
  787. >"Ugh! Not mine, yours! I swear... just go."
  788. "Oh right."
  789.  
  790. >You are Rainbow Dash, and you are getting even with Fluttershy today.
  791. >She inadvertently told the teacher on you when you were napping in class and got you detention.
  792. >'Don't call on her, she's asleep right now.'
  793. >Let's see how she likes being embarrassed.
  794.  
  795. >You are Fluttershy, and that seemed like a long walk.
  796. "Um, hi."
  797. >"Huh? Oh... hi."
  798. "I'm Fluttershy. I wanted to say welcome to our school."
  799. >"Thanks, I'm Anon. So why do you have a calculator?"
  800. "I almost forgot. I wanted to tell you my favorite number. 5318008."
  801. >"Okay..."
  802. "Because when you flip it upside down, it's boobies."
  803. >He just states at you.
  804. "So... would you like to go out with me?"
  805. >"Uh yeah, sounds great."
  806. "Wait, I almost forgot. Would you like to suck on some dees?"
  807. >He raises am eyebrow and looks at you, almost a little worried.
  808. >"Dees?"
  809. >You point at your chest.
  810. "Dees tits."
  811. >He looks almost instantly relieved.
  812. >"Yeah, that sounds great actually."
  813. >"OH COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"
  814. >You hear Rainbow say from behind you
  815.  
  816.  
  817.  
  818.  
  819.  
  820. >They find Lovely Loop at home in bed.
  821. >Turns out the changeling is her roommate that offered to "tag in" for the week because she was sick.
  822. >She feels a bit guilty about misleading Anon, but after hearing about him (along with how tasty his love is and she quotes 'unf') didnt want their 'first' meeting to be with her looking an absolute mess from hayfever.
  823. >Considering Anon instinctively starting pampering and fussing over her on sight her fears were slightly unfounded.
  824. >Shining and Cadence share a glance, both thinking the probably shouldn't have knocked the changeling out immediately before giving her a chance to talk.
  825. >A few more glances, movements and gestures between the two with a quiet groan from Cadence decides that Shining will stay here with anon while she goes to collect the bug and apologise
  826.  
  827.  
  828. >Her buggo name is a series of clicks and whistles.
  829. >Her OC disguise is named Lovely Ladybug, a red coated unicorn mare with black mane and black freckles, cutie mark of an insect under a magnifying glass.
  830. >Took the disguise of being a bug collector to explain away unintentional bug-puns, has a day job of being a pest-remover.
  831. >Earned her spot as Lovely loops roommate through virtue of sharing names.
  832. >Earned her spot as Loops friend after saving her from a 'coltfriend' who just wanted to rob their flat, also earning a black eye and bleeding lip for the trouble as she kicked him out.
  833. >The blood being green was concerning at first before Ladybug came clean, to which Loop just responded with "I'm not sure if i should be more or less impressed with your puns and it's bugging me." before they both laughed and hugged it out
  834.  
  835.  
  836.  
  837. >Ladybug sweats as her co-worker just stares at her undisguised form without expression.
  838. >She never should have listened to her roommates advice.
  839. >"She'll understand" oh sure she'll understand perfectly well that she'll just need a few extra cans of RAID from the cart to deal with the bigger than usual bug and a slightly bigger trash bag.
  840. >"Does zis mean i haffe to find ein new bartner?"
  841. >It takes a moment for Ladybug to parse the germenigh immigrant's accent, and another to process the actual question.
  842. "Why are you asking that?"
  843. >She mentally prepares herself for that strange accent as the blond mare responds.
  844. >"Well, they're your own kind are they not? I thought this was your way of saying you were too guilty to continue our holocaust."
  845. "What, no. We have about as much in common as an Apple does to a Dandelion but that's not the point! You're not bothered by...this?"
  846. >"You just gestured to all of you."
  847. "Yes! All of me the walking bug pony living among regular ponies! Why are you not bothered by this?!"
  848. >"Well, since we've met have you kidnapped anypony? Replaced anypony? Dug out any secret basements? Drained ponies of their love?"
  849. "No, no, no thats a stereotype and only nibbles."
  850. >"So you have been living as a regular pony the whole time?"
  851. "...Yes?"
  852. >"So why should i worry? You've come to this kingdom and seem to have fully embraced it and it's people as your own, you're just like me."
  853. "What."
  854. >"Is true. We are both immigrants to this great kingdom, outsiders welcomed with open hooves by the populace, whilst most of your race have a history of being parasites, my own divided peoples would have long ago been buried under ice and snow if not for our close proximity to Equestria keeping the windigoe at bay."
  855. "Is it really that bad in your homeland?"
  856. >"Another province was declared last week according to the papers, i believe that makes 37 by my last count but some could have been annexed since."
  857. "...Ouch. I'm sorry."
  858. >"Not your fault, Germanes are a very stubborn people, eventually the stupid amongst us will wear themselves out or anger Princess Celestia enough to force her hoof, and those of us smart enough to watch from the sidelines will rebuild."
  859. "Your parents told you that when you moved here to live with your uncle Bell didn't they."
  860. >"...You get in one little fight and suddenly your father is packing you off in air ship, colts am i right?"
  861. "I only knew my mom and i dont think she was very good at that, she's very.. Queeny."
  862. >"Oh yeah, thats a bug thing."
  863. "Yeah."
  864. >"...So you're not quitting?"
  865. "No i'm not quitting and yes the holocaust can continue, what even is that word anyway?"
  866. >"Good, because that fireant nest is a two mare job if we dont want the building to burn down and finding new partner for that party would be a huge pain in the flank."
  867. "Well i'm glad i'm not going to be a complete buzzkill."
  868. >"Dont make me swat you."
  869.  
  870.  
  871.  
  872.  
  873.  
  874.  
  875. >The domain of growing things belongs to the earth ponies
  876. >This is why most doctors and nurses are earth ponies
  877. >If they lay their hooves on you and channel their magic through you, wounds will actually heal faster
  878. >Technically though it doesn't need to be their hooves
  879. >Earth pony kisses really do make things better
  880. >Nurses absolutely will fight over who gets to be a new single stallion's primary care provider
  881.  
  882.  
  883.  
  884.  
  885.  
  886.  
  887.  
  888.  
  889. >Starswirl does not care that the mares stole his work
  890. >if it helps ponies why not?
  891. >its not like he's giving them a spell for super magic anthrax
  892. >just pities that they have no creativity of their own
  893. >only stayed in that town because it was relevant to his research
  894. >fucks off when the town was no longer productive to his work
  895.  
  896. >did make a few 'acquaintances' here and there
  897. >one being a little filly named clover
  898. >she always liked watching starswirl and sometimes do errands for him for a few bits and a magic lesson or two
  899. >she was sad when he left
  900. >she never got the chance to say goodbye
  901.  
  902. >mare who stole his work was making BANK with the spells she took
  903. >there was some question where she suddenly got them
  904. >clover accused her for stealing from starswirl because of her own lessons from him
  905. >no one of course would believe that a stallion could make such a revolutionary magical creation!
  906. >that is until she started to lose her business when starswirl left
  907. >with her golden goose gone, she started tinkering
  908. >trying to make the current spells she took now to something useful now
  909. >it works
  910. >for a time
  911.  
  912. >somehow she made the spell mutate into a magical plague like the cutiepox
  913. >spread far and beyond her own town
  914. >as of the moment, nopony, not even her, know what the cause is
  915. >other than clover
  916. >still a little filly goes out into the world to find her old master
  917. >the only stallion who can fix this mess
  918.  
  919.  
  920.  
  921.  
  922.  
  923.  
  924.  
  925. >unicorn horn spiral dictates how their magic can be channeled
  926. >clockwise vs counter-clockwise vastly changes what spells can be cast and at what strength
  927. >spells have different effects when cast through different horns, duration is changed as well as intensity of the effect and how effective it really is
  928. It's like how meat has a grain, and eating something cut with the grain is a different experience than eating that same thing but cut against the grain.
  929. >there are spells unicorns with counter-clockwise horn spirals would never try, and spells unicorns with clockwise spirals would have trouble with
  930. >counter-clockwise horn spirals are best for low intensity but long duration spells, like defensive magic or house-keeping spells
  931. >clockwise horn spirals are for high intensity low duration spells, like attack magic or when you need something to pack a punch for a very short period of time
  932. >stallions are born with a counter-clockwise spiral 9/10 times
  933. >stallions have endurance that mares just don't, and a stallion can keep up with his foal much better than a mare can because she would just tire herself out
  934. >the low intensity also give stallions a more delicate touch and they are able to tweak the desired effects much better than a mare can, meaning they can be much more careful and precise when looking after their foals or when cooking a meal
  935. >that's why unicorn stallions have a firm place in the household and looking after foals
  936.  
  937.  
  938.  
  939.  
  940.  
  941.  
  942. >Dark Lord Anon was pissed.
  943. >He had long since decided to retire from the life of evil, and yet heroes would never give him peace.
  944. >Even when he was no longer a threat to the world, they still came, and he was forced to defend himself.
  945. >And now, even after using ancient, powerful magic to move him, his castle, and his most precious treasure to an entirely new world, heroes once again came pounding on his door.
  946. >He hadn't even done anything, and yet they came motivated by nothing more than the fear of what he could do.
  947. >Fools.
  948. >Well, if that is how they wanted to be, then he would give them reason to fear him and make them examples of what awaited those at Anon's Keep if more show up.
  949. "Fools! You dare trespass upon my mighty keep! You shall suffer a fate worse than death for coming here!"
  950. >"That's where you're wrong, dark wizard! I, Princess Twilight Sparkle and my friends will not allow your evil to take root in our lands!"
  951. "Such brave words for a dead horse! Come I shall show you the full power of the dark arts!"
  952. >"Come on, girls, lets-!"
  953. >Daddy? What's going on?"
  954. >A little girl wonders in, wearing a night gown patterned with spider webs, her midnight dark hair hanging like shadows over her shoulders as she rubbed sleep from her eyes.
  955. >"I thought you said the bad people would leave us alone now?"
  956. "Sweetie, go back to bed, Daddy will take care of it."
  957. >"But..." she began eyes drifting to the intruders before going wide. "PONIES?!"
  958. >"Um, Twilight, what's going on?"
  959. >"It talked! Daddy! They're magical talking ponies! Just like from the stories mommy told me!"
  960. "And they've come for a fight. Jane, please go back to your bedroom!"
  961. >"What? No! You can't hurt them daddy!"
  962. "But-"
  963. >"Oh, they're so pretty! Do you ponies want to have a tea party?"
  964. "That's hardly appropriate. They're enemies!"
  965. >"Oh, tea sounds lovely."
  966. >"And did you say party!? I'm totally in!"
  967. >"Girls, did you forget why we're here?!"
  968. >"Ah, come on, Twi, I'm mighty parched myself. We ain't all got wings, and it was a long hike to get up here."
  969. >"Eee! I'll make the tea! Daddy go get cookies!"
  970. "Jane, I really don't think-"
  971. >"Daddy!"
  972. "Sight, fine," Anon summons a bat made of shadows, which goes to the group of intruders-turned-guests. "Follow the bat and it shall show you to the parlor. And wipe your hooves at the mat out front. I'll not have you tracking mud any further into my home."
  973. >"I'm confused, Twilight. Are we fighting a dark wizard today or not. I had to call off of Wonderbolt training for this."
  974. >"I... don't know, Dash."
  975. >"Well, since said dark wizard is a colt and father also, I very well hope not. I'd not be able to look my parents in the eyes if I ended up hitting a stallion."
  976. >"He's an evil stallion!"
  977. >"What? Just cause the map said so? Maybe it's a friendship problem, Twilight."
  978. >"Gasp! They just poofed into Equestria, right? That means they must need friends!"
  979. >"Really, Pinkie?"
  980. >"I'll have to throw them a Welcome to Our World Party. Do you think this castle has a ballroom?"
  981.  
  982.  
  983.  
  984.  
  985.  
  986. >It is a historic moment
  987. >The troops of the three tribes are gathered in an uneasy truce, the alicorn sisters stand at the podium
  988. >Celestia approaches and takes a deep breath
  989. >The silence is deafening
  990. >She stares at the mass of ponies with wide, wild eyes
  991. >"Daddy Danglers."
  992. >The crowd rustles, some faces scrunching, others smirking
  993. >Celestia scowls and slams her forehooves on the podium
  994. >"Isn't that what we all really want? Daddy danglers, wingèd wangers, fruit of the groom. There is no reason why we should be fighting while the windagos are freezing our nips off when we could be cuddling our stallions or courting colts if we don't have one. Buck, we've fought enough, that should be good enough to impress some colts and get our beans licked. Buck war, buck windagos and let's go buck our stallions!"
  995. >The mares roar in approval and disperse with enthusiasm
  996. >The three secretaries of the tribe leaders look at each other
  997. >Quick Quill rustles his wings uncomfortably
  998. >"Let's just say that the power of friendship drove off the windagos, right?"
  999. >The other two nod
  1000.  
  1001.  
  1002.  
  1003.  
  1004.  
  1005.  
  1006.  
  1007.  
  1008. >Story tells of a mare called Silvery Chisel that lived in the far north more than millennia ago
  1009. >She was the greatest sculptress to ever walk in Equus
  1010. >Her works where life like and able to communicate the deepest of emotions through cold crystal and marble
  1011. >Such skill brought her great fame and fortune, for each of her pieces was an invaluable treasure in itself
  1012. >One could imagine that for such mare, finding a mate would be something easy
  1013. >But no, Silvery Chisel was one of the most solitary mares in the land
  1014. >Not because no stallion took interest on her but because she reject all that tried
  1015. >For her could not relate or appreciated stallions that did things like talk, have sex or perform other bodily functions
  1016. >But she still have a greater appreciation for beauty
  1017. >Appreciation, that couple with loneliness, slowly start to corrode her soul
  1018. >To cure her loneliness, Silvery chisel decided to do what she did best
  1019. >If no stallion could meet her standards she would create one from the ground up
  1020. >On the period of seven months and fifteen days she create her magnum opus, a perfect crystal statue
  1021. >The statue was all beautiful
  1022. >But more than beautiful it was Chisel perfect coltfriend
  1023. >Gorgeous, quiet, flawless, no judgmental, no breathing, talk nor awkward sexual tension
  1024. >She soon fell in love with her statue
  1025. >Dressing it on the most expensive silks, taking it on date, confess all her it all
  1026. >She open her soul to it and gave it the name Adamante
  1027. >For a time she was happy, but that happiness soon fade away
  1028. >For even that she loved Adamante, it could not love her back and they could not be really together
  1029. >That revelation made her spiral into despair
  1030. >Soon the year role and came the festival of love
  1031. >When princess Amore wandered her all her domains
  1032. >Depressed, Chisel took the opportunity and approached the princess
  1033. >She bagged to be turn into stone so she could finally be truly together with her love
  1034. >The princess look upon the sculptress and recognize her feeling as true and pure
  1035. >But instead of fulfilling the mare’s wish, Amore taped in her love an channel it into the statue
  1036. >Turning it to live
  1037. >Now Adamante could reciprocate the love that brought him to life
  1038. >And do things like talk, eat and have sex
  1039. >Princess Amore giggle at the face of the now incredibly nervous mare and teleport always, only telling them to have fun
  1040. >Silvery Chisel and Adamante went to sire three daughters, a Pegasus, a unicorn and a earth pone and three son, also one of each tribe
  1041. >Those foal went out to grow up and became the progenitors of all crystal ponies
  1042. >Time passed and Silvery Chisel eventually die of old age, living her creation and love behind
  1043. >For Adamante was everlasting and everliving as the love that brought him live
  1044. >In his despair, the first crystal stallion threw himself over his love grave
  1045. >He immediately shattered upon touching her body leaving only his shine crystal heart behind
  1046. >Perpetually powered by the love and souls of the lovers
  1047. >His shards flew far and wide, delimitating a perfect circle
  1048. >In that circle was build a great city
  1049. > At it center towering castle, build over the grave of the parent of the crystal ponies
  1050.  
  1051.  
  1052.  
  1053.  
  1054.  
  1055.  
  1056.  
  1057. > Anon is super hyped to meet a dragon after hearing that human knights appear in their ancient legends
  1058. > Will they fear him?
  1059. > Respect him?
  1060. > Or maybe just treat him as a curiosity, a living fossil, like the coelacanth
  1061. > Turns out, humans covering themselves in full plate and acting aggressive makes a decidedly different impression on dragons
  1062. > Legal Shota
  1063. > Lady dragons like to approach Anon and tells him they have gold and magic items in their hoard, would he like to see?
  1064. > In retrospect, it should have been obvious that the teenage dragon wouldn't have much of a hoard, and few dragons would be willing to give away gold and things
  1065. > At least the "cultural exchange" was fun
  1066.  
  1067.  
  1068.  
  1069. >>This means that divine magic has massive potential, but that its effectiveness can fluctuate greatly due to the mercurial nature of spirits.
  1070. >>Imagine someone trying to use divine chaos magic having to rely on Discord's mood whenever they cast.
  1071.  
  1072. >The most extreme fits of whimsy are actually divine chaos magic.
  1073. >Before he went off the rails, Discord was sometimes seen as a patron of stallions, as they were the ones most likely to seek his aid, and the most likely to receive it.
  1074. >After Discord was stoned for a thousand years, fits of whimsy were far less powerful, less magical, but the legends about them remained. And the attempts also helped ever so slightly to loosen the chains that bound him.
  1075. >Now that Discord has returned, his 'blessings' have also made a comeback.
  1076. >He may be reformed now, but he's still sometimes willing to lend a mismatched limb if your idea catches his fancy.
  1077. >Just be careful, if he really likes your idea, he may show up in person, and you'll get a lot more chaos than you bargained for
  1078.  
  1079.  
  1080.  
  1081.  
  1082.  
  1083.  
  1084. Flurry grew up expecting to have some relationship with a primordial facet of magic. But one day, Uncle Anon taught her how to play tabletop rpgs, and she got her cutie mark. She loves weaving stories for ponies, helping their characters achieve their goals and save the world. It's a bit of a letdown, but being the Obliette Mistress is fun.
  1085. It is only after a visit from a giraffe delegation that she realizes that her talent isn't strictly restricted to games
  1086.  
  1087.  
  1088.  
  1089.  
  1090.  
  1091.  
  1092.  
  1093. >Be Twilight Velvet
  1094. >You knew going mono with a nerd was going to have an effect on your foals
  1095. >Thank Harmony Cadance took a liking to your janefilly son, you were seriously worried you wouldn't have any grandfoals
  1096. >As for Twilight...
  1097. >You're proud of both of your foals, they grew up with strong moral fiber and enough magical power to excuse their eccentricities
  1098. >Given how many times your little Sparkler goes on an adventure and saves somepony, it's only a matter of time before-
  1099. >You hear the door open
  1100. >Your daughter calls out, "You'll never guess what I won in a duel!"
  1101. >You grin to yourself
  1102. >All according to plan
  1103.  
  1104.  
  1105.  
  1106.  
  1107.  
  1108.  
  1109.  
  1110. >Twilight Sparkle was having a full blown, no joke, dead serious panic attack.
  1111. >She's really done it this time.
  1112. >She knew how serious Celestia was about cake, but she still ate the last slice at the tea party.
  1113. >Damn this Alicorn metabolism, it's not her fault she's constantly hungry.
  1114. >And it earned her the fulfillment of her worst nightmares.
  1115. >She got sent back to BUCKING MAGIC KINDERGARTEN.
  1116.  
  1117. >Surprisingly enough, the foals at the kindergarten don't seem to mind that an adult pony, the Princess of Friendship, joined them.
  1118. >They just want to play with her, and they love the fact that she can give them ponyback rides and read them stories.
  1119. >For the first time since her ascension, she can finally relax. No royal obligations, no stress, no anxiety about how well she's fulfilling her station.
  1120. >After all, what could happen that would be worse for her image than this.
  1121. >Not to mention that no one really thinks worse of her.
  1122. >She learns that the ponies of Ponyville love her not because she's a princess, but because she's a valuable part of the community and a good pony.
  1123. >Her friends are with her no matter what, they never cared if she was "marely" or "respectable" enough.
  1124. >And she learns that the bonds of friendship can be made anywhere, as she becomes good friends with the tall, green stallion that runs the kindergarten.
  1125. >In fact, she starts seeing him outside of his working hours too.
  1126.  
  1127. >Back in Canterlot, Celestia and Cadence step away from a telescope they borrowed from Luna, that's currently pointed at Ponyville.
  1128. >They raise a toast, to a successful scheme.
  1129. >It took drastic measures, but it looks like they're going to kill two birds with one stone.
  1130. >Get the book horse to finally chill out, and, hooves crossed, finally bag the nerd a coltfriend.
  1131. >Teacups clink gently, as the princesses start planning out a wedding.
  1132. >After all, a good plan is laid out in advance
  1133.  
  1134.  
  1135.  
  1136.  
  1137.  
  1138.  
  1139. >Anon was able to buy a relatively nice house for incredibly cheep.
  1140. >Score!
  1141. >It's also plagued by some weird paranormal shit.
  1142. >Okay, that's a minor detriment, but he can still work with this.
  1143. >As far as he can tell, the spirit or entity is pretty non-violent most of the time.
  1144. >Sure, he finds his underwear drawer rifled through frequently, his socks on his disheveled bed coated in ectoplasm, and shampoo bottles knocked over repeatedly when he takes showers so he has to bend over and pick them up.
  1145. >But he's never harmed besides a phantom pinch to his bottom a few times a day.
  1146. >The most violent things get is when he's playing video games and is messing up repeatedly on a part.
  1147. >Every time he dies to a boss by failing to dodge the same attack again, things rattle and he's pretty sure he can hear a frustrated groan.
  1148. >So yeah, not so bad.
  1149. >His opinion on the matter does change, however, during a break-in.
  1150. >He never thought he'd be robbed, or that the robber mare would pin him down with earth pony strength with clear intent to rape him.
  1151. >Or that a ghostly wail would shake the walls and the mare atop him to be tossed and battered across the room.
  1152. >"Don't you touch my coltfriend!" is heard in a ghostly warble as Anon has to rescue his would-be assailant and throw her out of his house to safety.
  1153. >Yes, his opinion changed after that.
  1154. >For the better.
  1155. >He has his own guardian poltergeist and now he doesn't need to spring for a security system
  1156.  
  1157. >You have been in the Haunted Mansion for a few months now.
  1158. >Yeah, you renamed your house.
  1159. >It may not be a mansion but whatever, and the best part is the mouse can't sue you.
  1160. >You've also learned a lot about your ghostly roommate.
  1161. >She said she likes you more than the last mare that you bought the house from.
  1162. >You also seem to have started to date her.
  1163. >It was news to you at first, but she seemed to think when you came home and made dinner it was a dinner date.
  1164. >You were okay with it and actually appreciated the company since you were honestly kinda lonely.
  1165. >Not many mares like a big ape as a boyfriend, but Etherial Plain was more than okay with it.
  1166. >That also lead to her admitting she was embarrassed when she watched you masturbate before you knew she was in the house.
  1167. >It was also news to you when she said she could possess objects so long as they aren't alive.
  1168. >That gave you an idea, and is the reason you're in the adult shop.
  1169. >Surprising opposite of back home.
  1170. >Not that many vatieties of dildoes but a huge selection of cock sleeves.
  1171. >You found a good looking one for a decent price, bought it along with some lube and went home.
  1172. >Etherial was more than curious when you got home and said you had a surprise for her for later tonight.
  1173. >You had your dinner and she told you about pony history to pass the time.
  1174. >Finally you asked her to come back to the bedroom with you, which confused her mainly because it was early.
  1175. >When you got there you opened up your bag and showed her what you got.
  1176. >She was really confused at this point.
  1177. >You then explained that she could possess the fleshlight and hopefully feel everything.
  1178. >Her eyes went wide and she paused only for a moment before she disappeared and there was a faint ghostly glow around your pocket pussy.
  1179. >She liked it if the walls shaking violently were any indication of your first real night together
  1180.  
  1181.  
  1182.  
  1183.  
  1184.  
  1185.  
  1186. >Sunset Shimmer is actually Starlight Glimmer's daughter
  1187. >Grew up in a broken household with a mother who, as evidenced by her liberal usage of mind-control magic, had little to no regard for those around her
  1188. >Sunset tried to get help from Twilight - the only Princess in Equestria with the ability to do something and an old friend of her mother's
  1189. >But when her pleas went unanswered, Sunset believed it was because Twilight didn't want to punish her friend
  1190. >Sunset began to hate Twilight Sparkle and vowed revenge
  1191. >One day, she found Starlight's old scrolls on time magic, specifically the type with the ability to change the past
  1192. >Sunset used them and fell into the past, years before her mother and father even got married
  1193. >Due to her knowledge of future events and her own impressive magic (being the daughter of Starlight "I'm a stupid faggot who can fly with magic and steal cutie marks" Glimmer), young Sunset was eventually accepted into the School for Gifted Unicorns
  1194. >She thought she might be able to gain sway with Princess Celestia and perhaps learn of magic that could help her punish her mother, save her father, or something else that her new school might teach her
  1195. >Maybe find out what made her mother the way she was
  1196. >Unwilling to hurt Starlight Glimmer while she was just a little filly, Sunset Shimmer instead spent her years planning and scheming
  1197. >Fantasies about revenge began to darken her heart, and Celestia became concerned
  1198. >Her hatred of Twilight Sparkle for never helping her or her father remained with Sunset, even though at this point of time Twilight was only a little filly.
  1199. >Sunset always knew that Celestia was, on some level, suspicious of her
  1200. >She had, of course, appeared out of nowhere and had no identification or history in Equestria, having come from the future
  1201. >Sunset thought it was because she was from the future
  1202. >In reality, Celestia was merely concerned for her most faithful student, whose mood darkened more every day as she planned her revenge
  1203. >When Celestia accepted Twilight Sparkle into her school and took her on as a second pupil, Sunset was convinced that the jig was up
  1204. >That this was Celestia's way of telling her she KNEW all about the time travel and her plots for revenge
  1205. >In reality, Celestia thought that her talented student needed something to focus her energy onto
  1206. >Like being a mentor to a bright young filly.
  1207. >Sunset desperately sought an escape, believing she was going to be apprehended for the crime of trying to change the future in her favour - even if her favour meant escaping an abusive foalhood
  1208. >Not knowing where Starlight was - or Sunburst, for that matter - and knowing that there was no place in Equestria where she could hide from Celestia, Sunset fled into the mirror-portal she had recently discovered
  1209.  
  1210.  
  1211.  
  1212.  
  1213.  
  1214.  
  1215.  
  1216.  
  1217. >Be lich-anon.
  1218. >Un-life is tough in Equestria.
  1219. >Have to wear bunch of clothes and a fake beard to stop freaking little horses out with dem bones.
  1220. >Have to use specialized spell that warms your skeleton up, so your scritchies aren't deathly chilling.
  1221. >Mistaken for a villain on bi-monthly basis.
  1222. >On the upside, you got a small following consisting primarily of mares with medical background, goth unicorns and one particularly edgy musician pegasus who took a liking to using your ribs as a xylophone
  1223.  
  1224.  
  1225.  
  1226.  
  1227.  
  1228.  
  1229. >Be Anon
  1230. >Be with your buddy Maud Pie
  1231. >Maud hadn't been doing all the hot lately
  1232. >Her coltfriend had left her, and she was pretty beat up about it
  1233. >Trixie, Starlight, and her sisters weren't much help, so she can come to you
  1234. >It was pretty touching
  1235. >Maud liked to think of herself as a mare's mare, and coming to a male to talk about colty things like feelings show you just how bad of a way she was in
  1236. >To most ponies, she had the emotions of a rock
  1237. >Many stayed away because of this, many thinking that there was something wrong with her
  1238. >You knew better
  1239. >She was as expressive as any other pony, one just needed to watch and listen
  1240. >An ear twitch there, a quiet sigh there was all you needed
  1241. >Her body language was as easy to read as any other pony
  1242. >And, being a good friend, you were there to listen
  1243. >She talked and talked and talked; about how she felt, what had happened, what ponies would think
  1244. >You just sat there and let her go until she couldn't say anything else
  1245. >Then you got up, picked up her emotionally exhausted self, and gave her a big ol hug
  1246. >This went on for a week or so
  1247. >You hugged, petted, and nose-to-nose booped the mare
  1248. >She seemed to enjoy the male attention, and in no time at all she was back to her usual self
  1249. >Maud even got you a little thank you present
  1250. >A hunk of flawless emerald and some of those glow in the dark crystals
  1251. >She's a sweet horse
  1252. >You were happy to help out a friend
  1253. >She's got a big ol dumper too
  1254. >She'd be fine
  1255.  
  1256.  
  1257.  
  1258.  
  1259.  
  1260.  
  1261.  
  1262.  
  1263. 148 KB
  1264. 148 KB GIF
  1265. >You were just above the clouds, trying your best to hover
  1266. >You could see him
  1267. >The colt you had been watching for weeks
  1268. >The big green fella
  1269. >He had no wings, or magic to get get away from you
  1270. >He also didn't look up, as much colts did when mating season came around
  1271. >Perfect
  1272. >If you did this right you'd have a cute househusband all to yourself
  1273. >And you'd get it right; weeks and weeks of practicing would ensure that!
  1274. >He was at the edge of the marketplace, just a little green speck, talking to that dyke Rarity
  1275. >She might make things difficult if she noticed you, but she was no Twilight Sparkle when it came to magic
  1276. >If you were quick enough, maybe you could get out of her magical range before she did anything
  1277. >You puffed your chest out, taking a few deep breaths
  1278. >Alrighty...
  1279. >Letsbuckingdothis!
  1280. >With one last flap, you tucked your wings against your sides and began to fall
  1281. >You gained speed, having to squint as the wind whipped at your face
  1282. >Anon got bigger and bigger as you got closer to him
  1283. >This was the scariest part
  1284. >You weren't a good enough flyer to turn on a bit now with how fast you were going
  1285. >If he saw you, or anypony called out to him, you wouldn't be able to adjust
  1286. >Thankfully, thank Luna above, nopony noticed you, even as you came down at max speed
  1287. >Just when you were about to hit the ground behind him, you opened your wings and flapped as hard as you could
  1288. >For a moment, it felt like your eyes were going to fly out of your tailhole as the Gs hit you, but you slowed
  1289. >Your hooves hit the dirt road, and with another flap you launched yourself upward at the perfect angle to hook your forelegs under his armpits
  1290. >Now grinning, you flapped again, ready to lift him into the air
  1291. >Only to not go anywhere
  1292. "HHHHHGGGGGGGNNNNN!!!"
  1293. >Anon moved some, leaning forward mostly but you didn't lift him an inch
  1294. >Gritting your teeth, you flapped as hard as you could
  1295. >Holy hayseeds, what was this colt made of?
  1296. >You'd heard of hefty stallions, but this was something else!
  1297. "Come on... get your... butt up!"
  1298. >The human looked over his shoulder at you
  1299. >He didn't look particularly upset, just confused
  1300. >"Um... can I help you?"
  1301. >You just continued to flap your wings
  1302. "You can help me by not being so bucking fat, colt!" you replied
  1303. >The human frowned
  1304. >"Fat?" he said, brow furrowing
  1305. >Not only after that, you were dunked into the town's foundation
  1306. >In front of the whole town
  1307. >There were MANY laughing ponies
  1308. >Mare, did you bucking hate mating season...
  1309.  
  1310.  
  1311.  
  1312.  
  1313.  
  1314.  
  1315.  
  1316. >Be Deep Cider, badass extraordinaire
  1317. >It had taken 3 days of walking through the tunnels of Toll Domhainn to reach the surface.
  1318. >The usually heavy air felt cooler and fresher as you trotted along the ever steepening path with your companions.
  1319. >The froth of sweat you were so used to in the mines had yet to grace your thick burgundy coat.
  1320. >Though the weight of your horned helmet, a newly added symbol of your rank as a proud warrior of your people, began to put a crick in your neck.
  1321. >The huge wrought iron gates that cut the home of your people off from the world above loomed over you
  1322. >The old-husband's tales of the sunlight beyond the door turning you and your fellow Falabella ponies to stone stuck out in your mind.
  1323. >But you shrugged it off, you were a brave mare and those were just stories anyhow.
  1324. >Heck your spot among the group of diplomats and forgesmiths was hoof picked by the ForgeFathers as a reward for your bravery during the diamond dog raids on the southern coal mines.
  1325. >Your group of six were to meet with a group of Equestrians right outside the gates.
  1326. >Them delving down into your mountain home and yours climbing up to their mountain home.
  1327. >A mountain home, you remembered, that was on top of and outside of their mountain.
  1328. >The wrongness of that idea had popped up more than once during the trip.
  1329. >Finally the gates began to creep open.
  1330. >The brightness of the outside was intense to say the least, blinding even for nearly a whole minute.
  1331. >But when the white cleared from your eyes it was replaced by something even more bizare.
  1332. >6 mares stood before your group.
  1333. >6 of the tallest cunts you'd ever seen before in your life, they had to be almost twice your height.
  1334. >Although taking a longer look, you could see they were lanky as fuck.
  1335. >Falabellas are built like squares.
  1336. >Fluffy, stocky, sturdy, and built from good hard work.
  1337. >These mares were built like tool shafts.
  1338. >Thinner than your fathers soup, goddess bless his soul.
  1339. >And holy shit their tufts, you felt like a pornstar looking at them.
  1340.  
  1341. >Be Twilight
  1342. >Princess Celestia had asked you and your friends to be a part of a cultural exchange with the local dwar- er, Falabellas
  1343. >You were told not to use the d-word around them.
  1344. >It was hard not to though, seeing as how you were now surrounded by 6 of the little bastards.
  1345. >They had been laughing non stop, some even rolling on the ground, screeching about "lanky tuftletts" for about 10 minutes now.
  1346. >It's not even like yours was that small, was it?
  1347. >You have a bad feeling about this trip all of a sudden
  1348.  
  1349.  
  1350.  
  1351.  
  1352.  
  1353.  
  1354. >You grunted, throwing another shovelful of dirt
  1355. >You had been digging for around an hour, and a diamond dog you were not
  1356. >Even so, you were an earth pony
  1357. >A mare used to hard work, with a natural stubbornness to boot
  1358. >With grit and some colorful language, you had slung pounds and pounds of dirt, rock, and clay
  1359. >Your hole was around two ponies deep
  1360. >Since you were the one that made the hole, you knew how to get out of the thing
  1361. >A colt wouldn't be so lucky
  1362. >With their heads in the clouds, one would fall right in this bucking hole
  1363. >Then you'd have yourself a husband
  1364. >Just like how mom caught dad
  1365. >Leaning your shovel against the wall of the hole, you wiped the sweat from your brow
  1366. >Everything looked good
  1367. >It didn't look like it was going to fall in on itself
  1368. >You'd even cleared out most of the loose dirt too
  1369. >Mom had warned you about that; said dad was ornery for a month because his fall into the hole got his coat all dirty
  1370. >With a nod, you tossed the shovel out of the hole, then climbed out yourself
  1371. >It was Tartarus, and thank Celestia nopony was watching you make a fool of yourself, but you eventually managed to get out of the darn thing
  1372. >Dirt was piled up all around the hole
  1373. >You did your best to clear the road
  1374. >Colts weren't the brightest, but even they might notice a pile of dirt just sitting there
  1375. >With that done, you jumped into the nearest bush
  1376. >Now was the time for the hardest part
  1377. >The waiting
  1378. >An hour or two passed
  1379. >You had gone through a sandwich and five ciders waiting
  1380. >Any longer and you might need to run to the market to get another six pack
  1381. >Truly, this was a trail
  1382. >Thankfully, as you opened your sixth cider, a fish came toward your lure
  1383. >It was that alien fella
  1384. >Anon
  1385. >You could hear him whistling a happy tune to himself
  1386. "Oh!"
  1387. >Grinning, you hid in your bush until just your eyes were visible
  1388. >Anon was a bit skinny for your taste, but you could fatten him up a bit on the honeymoon
  1389. "Come on.. come to momma..."
  1390. >The human walked down the road at a pretty brisk pace, head in the cloud like any other colt
  1391. >To your glee, it looked like it was walking right in line with the hole
  1392. >Oh yeah mare...
  1393. >Glee turned into disappointment when he looked down just a foot or so from it
  1394. >Head cocking to the side, he frowned
  1395. >Shoot...
  1396. >Welp, maybe you'd get the next colt that went by...
  1397. >Your shoulders sagged as you took a sip of your cider
  1398. >Only to nearly sip it out as the human jumped into the hole
  1399. >Oh
  1400. >OH!
  1401. >We got a live one here, mare!
  1402. >The dummy had gotten himself in a place he couldn't get--
  1403. >...
  1404. >Oh, wait...
  1405. >Looking at him, you saw most of his upper body could be clearly seen
  1406. >He was looking down at the hole, puzzled
  1407. >"Why the fuck is this here?" he asked aloud. "Did those construction mares just wander off a site without putting anything up? Someone's gonna get hurt falling into this thing..."
  1408. >With that, he placed his hands on either side of the hole and hauled himself out of it
  1409. >This was too much for you
  1410. >A colt should stay in the hole dangit, especially if he jumped in there himself!
  1411. >With a huff, you leapt from the bush as he got to his feet
  1412. "Now you wait a cotton pickin' minute there, human! You get your butt back in that hole!" you said, pointing at said hole. "You get in there and let me get you out so we can get married!"
  1413. >Anon frowned
  1414. >"You dug this in the middle of the street?" he asked
  1415. "You're darn right I did!" you said with a proud stomp of your hoof
  1416. >Anon nodded, walking past you
  1417. >He bent down, picking up the shovel you had half hidden in your bush
  1418. >Giving you a not so friendly look, he tapped the flat of the shovelhead against a hand
  1419. >"I could have fallen and hurt myself, you know," he said flatly
  1420. "I don't give a--"
  1421. >He took a step toward you
  1422. >With a start, you realized your shovel looked like a foals' toy in his mammoth hands
  1423. "I, um, uh..."
  1424. >He beat your flank red with that shovel
  1425. >Then he made you fill that hole
  1426. >And, to add insult to injury, he beat your butt again
  1427. >If you were able to sit sometime next year you'd consider yourself lucky
  1428. >Colt even took your shovel, and chewed you out too
  1429. >Mare, did mating season suck salt...
  1430.  
  1431.  
  1432.  
  1433.  
  1434.  
  1435.  
  1436. >Changelings are seen as ultimate breeders, able to coax the maximum amount of love from a stallion, anything less than twins is completely unheard of.
  1437. >Mares are warned to not even try and compete in that regard lest they damage their health or that of their foals.
  1438. >In a herd situation the inclusion of a changeling can improve the health of everypony involved, as the excess amount of Love is converted into Ling-Honey, which has numerous health benefits when consumed both before and during pregnancies.
  1439. >Social dynamics usually hamper this somewhat, as the sheer difference in fertility means the stallion will naturally come to see the changeling as the 'alpha' of the group, regardless of dispositions or previous heirarchy.
  1440. >For this reason most changelings stay disguised even from their own herd, using slight of hoof and very mild misdirection magic to hide oddities such as putting honey into the food.
  1441. >The feelings are real, otherwise she wouldnt be fed nor produce the honey to share, but so is the stigma, and most changelings prefer not to risk the heartbreak
  1442.  
  1443.  
  1444.  
  1445.  
  1446.  
  1447.  
  1448.  
  1449. >Anon has a unicorn marefriend
  1450. >She doesn't think what she does is anything special, but Anon didn't grow up with magic as a part of his life
  1451.  
  1452. "Honey, we're running out of shampoo."
  1453. >"Anon, it's 2 in 1, just pour it into the empty bottle it came with."
  1454. >...
  1455. "HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?"
  1456. >"Magic. Honestly, it's cute how you get worked up about the littlest things."
  1457.  
  1458.  
  1459.  
  1460.  
  1461.  
  1462.  
  1463. >She's a duchess
  1464. >A war hero
  1465. >Maybe one of the more powerful magi currently living
  1466. >Her castle is deep in the mountains
  1467. >It had been standing over six hundred years, and not once had it fallen to a foe
  1468. >It was a big castle in northern Equestria, not a days ride to the Crystal Empire
  1469. >A lonely castle
  1470. >As wealthy and powerful as she was, Fleur could never find a colt that would want to stay with her for more than a few weeks
  1471. >Colts liked cities, the nightlife, things to do
  1472. >There was not too much there for her duchy
  1473. >Those nobles that lived in the cold, hard mountains were cousins or distant relatives
  1474. >Not suitable suitors; at least to her
  1475. >Those southern nobles were weaklings; too pompous and dignified to dirty their hands
  1476. >It was frustrating
  1477. >A frustration that no amount of fighting, hunting, or feasting could sooth
  1478. >But then you came
  1479. >A man from a different world so strange compared to her own
  1480. >The way you spoke was strange
  1481. >The way you moved was strange
  1482. >When you met her, you tried to hold the door open for her, like some young filly that had just gotten her first set of honor
  1483. >She had laughed, and never forgotten your face
  1484. >She made numerous trips to Canterlot, going out of her way to visit that bothersome city and those bothersome southerners just to see you
  1485. >Every little thing you did was fascinating, and you had such silly ideas as a stallion
  1486. >She invited you up to her castle, wishing you show you some of the countries' wildlands
  1487. >To her delight, you didn't seem to care much for city life, and agreed to join her
  1488. >Weeks passed
  1489. >She took you all through her lands
  1490. >You hunted, spoke with her little ponies
  1491. >She even allowed you to look through her families famous armory and library
  1492. >Every single day she woke up expecting you to ask to return to Canterlot, and every single day that didn't happen
  1493. >The castle staff began to warm up to you, as did the ponies surrounding the little town not far from the castle
  1494. >Many said that their lady looked so much happier with you around
  1495. >They had never seen the usually solemn and grim mare smile so much
  1496. >Even when the winter came, and the Wendigos came from the very far north to cause mischievous you didn't leave
  1497. >Not only did you not leave, you made snowponies with some of the castle's foals!
  1498. >You might have been a strange, alien stallion with an odd way of doing things, but the duchess wouldn't have you leave for all of the valuable suitors in her kingdom
  1499. >In fact, she was having scribes in Canterlot trying to find some sort of noble lineage in your family line
  1500. >If they couldn't--which was pretty much a guarantee since you weren't of this world--then they were told to make something up
  1501. >A noble such as herself couldn't just up and marry a commoner now, could she?
  1502. >She'd even give your mother a dowry fit for a prince, as it was the only proper thing to do
  1503.  
  1504.  
  1505. >She takes you back to Canterlot once
  1506. >It was for business, and she couldn't bare to leave you home
  1507. >Things were perfectly normal for the first few days
  1508. >She bought you all the fabric you wanted--you were learning how to sew from the castle's seamster-- as well as some other knick knacks
  1509. >While privately speaking with the princess, she was even congratulated on finding a nice stallion
  1510. >But then disaster struck
  1511. >A noble went and hit on you while Fleur was speaking to some old war buddies
  1512. >Fleur looked over at you just as the chubby, sleazy mare pinched your bottom
  1513. >She immediately borrowed a sword from a guard, stomping over to protect your honor
  1514. >The mare attempted to apologize
  1515. >Fleur wanted a duel to the death to settle matters
  1516. >Celestia attempted to step in, but the unicorn would not be calmed down
  1517. >You suggested the mare take you on a shopping spree to apologize, as well as "gift" you your weight in gold
  1518. >Fleur didn't like the idea, flat out refusing, but you were insistent
  1519. >The mare eagerly accepted, and the rest of your trip was on her pockets
  1520. >You, the poor mare, Fleur, and some guards Celestia sent to keep Fleur from murdering her fellow noble went out onto the town the next day, where you went on the stopping spree of the century
  1521. >Fleur's outrage turned to amusement as you nearly bankrupted the mare in two days
  1522. >Not buying jewelry or frilly things, but stuff that would help the castle out
  1523. >Different foodstuffs, paper, leather, types of gems and ore
  1524. >You had the made buy ten barrels of wine that Fleur loved, as well as got yourself a helmet from one of the finest armorers in the city, whose pieces cost a small fortune
  1525. >All the while, you had a troupe of singers follow you, dancing and making merry as they were given ten times the normal rate
  1526. >There was a lot of talk when you and Fleur went home with twenty wagons full of goods
  1527. >The noble who had dishonored you was now humbled to the core
  1528. >The rest of the nobility were amused to bits
  1529. >Celestia sent some fine chainmail for you from the armorer you had gotten the helmet from as a gift; a thank you for keeping her nobles from needlessly killing each other
  1530. >The ponies back at the castle were delighted with all the fabric, fruit, and gifts you had gotten for them
  1531. >Fleur was happy that you had not only taken things in stride, but had been exceedingly clever in dishing out a rightful punishment
  1532. >The next time the two of you went to Canterlot, and forever after, nobles would go out of their way to be as polite as possible with you
  1533. >Not for fear of Fleur, but of what you'd do to them
  1534.  
  1535.  
  1536.  
  1537.  
  1538.  
  1539.  
  1540. >Anon scrimps and saves in order to buy all the cards he needs from the new expansion to make a monster of a deck
  1541. >Fluttershy doesn't really play that much, but she has a stalling deck and uses it as an excuse to hang out Anon for as long as possible
  1542. >But his new deck wins before she can get the cards she needs to draw out the game
  1543. >Another mare at the card shop challenges him, and Fluttershy feels her mareliness points take a hit
  1544. >She dramatically decides that she will defeat Anon and finally ask him out on a date!
  1545. >But she hasn't tried winning a game for so long, she has a number of bad habits to break
  1546. >Anon isn't oblivious, but he does want to help her become more assertive
  1547. >He gets Pinkie and Rarity to help him assemble a number of disguises and decks so that Fluttershy has rivals and villains close enough to her level to fuel her growth as a duelist
  1548. >Admittedly, he and Rarity may have gotten a little drunk before designing the "Eeyore Valentine" costume, but Fluttershy' reaction to him pulling cards out of his ball bra was priceless
  1549. >With each game, Fluttershy learns more and more about mechanics, rules, strategies, and deck building
  1550. >Finally, a new expansion comes out and Fluttershy builds a meta deck all on her own
  1551. >She challenges Anon and finally defeats him, because he spent so much time and money building all those silly decks and chipping in on costume material costs that he didn't have enough to adapt to the new meta
  1552. >Fluttershy asks him out, and thanks him for helping her learn to play competitively
  1553. >And could he wear the Eeyore Valentine costume again? It was her favorite
  1554.  
  1555.  
  1556.  
  1557.  
  1558.  
  1559. >"Look mare, the tribes might be playing nice again but your 'Equestria' is never gonna work."
  1560. >"We dont care if your dad bucked a hornhead and you came out with a lightning rod on your face, no self respecting pegasi will ever accept a a filly of a leader so ashamed of her tuft she hides it behind a big neck thingy."
  1561. >Celestia has absolutely HAD IT with these stubborn mules.
  1562. >Having the Unicorns join? Easy, they were glad to foist the job of moving the sun and moon onto just two ponies, practically threw the crown jewels at her.
  1563. >Earth ponies, little bit harder since they all wanted little favours, but being a glorified delivery mare and gathering everypony for one big 'hoe-down' secured their inclusion.
  1564. >She's not sure about actually USING that gold plated Hoe they gave her, but that's something future Celestia can worry about, or Luna, she likes plants right?
  1565. >But these pegasi? Nothing.
  1566. >Steady payment? An insult.
  1567. >Discounts on things they trade for like food? Also an insult.
  1568. >The right to fly their cities in equestrian air space? 'Nopony owns the skies.' Insult.
  1569. >Traditional trial by combat? Apparently cheating because of her magic, also pretty insulting to even suggest.
  1570. >But this? This is HER being Insult-ed.
  1571. >('Be careful with the Ceremonial Torque')
  1572. >Ignoring her sisters whisper, Celestia unbuckles the big neck thingy and lets it drop to the ground.
  1573. >A few miles below, since they're on a cloud.
  1574. >Luna sighs and flies down through the hole to retrieve it.
  1575. >Snorting and stomping a hoof , she takes a deep breath and
  1576. >"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little mare?" I'll have you know..."
  1577.  
  1578. >A few minutes later Celestia touches down on the ground next to her sister.
  1579. >"They've accepted us as Royals and will be sending ponies over to our castle tomorrow to begin working out a long term weather schedule."
  1580. >Luna simply holds up the big neck thingy, the large PREVIOUSLY flawless gem in the middle now riddled with fractures.
  1581. >"Oh dont worry about that, i'm sure it can be fixed, we'll say a diamond dog snuck up on us.."
  1582. >The gem decides to take it's last moment to shine and promptly falls to pieces.
  1583. >"Did i say fixed? I meant replaced, because it was stolen by a dragon, i'm thinking a nice orange, or maybe purple? Purple sounds good
  1584.  
  1585.  
  1586.  
  1587.  
  1588.  
  1589.  
  1590.  
  1591.  
  1592. >Young Anonicorn thinks everyone follows what his mom says because she's the biggest and tallest.
  1593. >Said mother gets a kick out of puffing herself up bigger and asking 'the small ones' (the maids) to serve lunch.
  1594. >Laughter rings out from the dining hall as they crouch-walk back in with serving trays.
  1595. >Cadance arrives during lunch to take him for a nap and playdate, but he acts grumpy and wants to stay with his momma, asking her to make them listen.
  1596. >Being informed of the new rules of soverignty by Celestia, Cadence asks the nearby guard Shining to step over for a moment before promptly jumping on his back.
  1597. >To his credit, he barely flinches as she steadies herself, although a faint blush dusts his cheeks.
  1598. >Anons jaw drops to the floor as he looks between his boosted foalsitter and his mother, the latter shrugging helplessly.
  1599. >His wings buzz as he tries to fly up and sit on his mommas head, but quickly tires out and falls into the grasp of her magic.
  1600. >A quick nuzzle and shooshing later and he's passed over to Cadence, who settles him on her back before trotting off to the playroom
  1601.  
  1602.  
  1603.  
  1604.  
  1605.  
  1606.  
  1607. >Anonicorn always takes time out of his day to make sure the staff and guard in the castle know they are appreciated and valued, talking about their day and going around with batches of treats he's baked, etc.
  1608. >This makes him a magnet for changelings, and word gets around to go visit the prince if they ever need a snack.
  1609. >None of them tell the queen out of fear she'd do something stupid like order him captured.
  1610. >When the invasion happens a small squad break off to go keep him out of danger while disguised as guards.
  1611. >Decide to set up in the kitchen with other staff that managed to escape the attacks, and he suggests they make some food 'for when mom sorts all this out.'
  1612. >Hidden bugs start sweating nervously when Anon notices two of them accidently disguised as the same pony.
  1613. >Thankfully interrupted when some idiot ant-brains who dont remember the code phrases decide to attack their small party.
  1614. >Not thankfully, they showed off their shapeshifting and now the prince is confronting the two that had the same disguise, even though one of them tried to change in the confusion.
  1615. >"I only have one question and i want it answered honestly."
  1616. >They gulp nervously at the authority in his voice.
  1617. >"Chewy or Fudge brownies? Nopony ever tells me which one they like better."
  1618. >Nonplussed, they look at each other before one of them responds.
  1619. "Fudge can hold more love?"
  1620. >"Really? Great! I'll be sure to remember that, thanks."
  1621. >He suddenly hugs the changeling, focusing on the gratitude for protecting everypony in the room and tossing in some of his affection for mom too.
  1622. >The guard falls over the moment he lets go.
  1623. >"Err, are they going to be okay?"
  1624. "They'll be fine, just a sudden overdose."
  1625. >"Oh, alright, how many of you are there?
  1626. >Silence.
  1627. "Okay, that was a dumb question, can one of you go check on Auntie and bring her here? She's probably sleeping through this."
  1628. >He levitates a fruitbowl with pineapples over.
  1629. >"You'll need this, she gets cranky when woken up so early."
  1630. >Later, when the tied up changelings are blasted away by some sort of magic wall, it somehow phasing them through the physical walls in the way, his 'personal guard' look at each other in confusion before looking at him for orders.
  1631. >"That felt like cousin Cadence, i think its time for you all to sneak out before we have any more misunderstandings."
  1632. >They glance nervously at a glaring Princess Luna looming behind his shoulder, slowly chewing through a watermelon as if it were an apple.
  1633. >"Oh! And dont forget your brownies, i made a few for each of you."
  1634. >Feeling silly, they line up to recieve a hug and small paper bag before flying out the window.
  1635. >The last disappears right as some actual guard burst through the doors.
  1636. >Luna, still glaring, spits a pip into half full bowl next to her before barking orders at the guard.
  1637. >She thought her nephew miraculiously dodged the tendency for stallions ( and her sister) to be so whimsical, but now she sees it merely manifests in spectacular fashion
  1638.  
  1639.  
  1640.  
  1641.  
  1642.  
  1643.  
  1644. >Be Anon, having finished playing basketball with Dash and Spitfire in your new shorts
  1645. >The first time, they were filthy cheaters, launching with a flap of their wings and hovering to block your shot
  1646. >The watermark of Air-bud superimposed itself over your vision as they explained there wasn't a rule against flying
  1647. >Under threat of bringing Twilight on your team, they agreed to having their wings bound
  1648. >They acted kinda funny the next time, sniffing at your belts as you fastened them around their wings and barrel
  1649. >They still had mad jumping skills, since pegasi only weigh a quarter pounder, but they couldn't hover and that is what's important
  1650. >When you sat down for a water break, you noticed them eyeing your shorts for some reason
  1651. >For the rest of the time you were playing, you kept picking up moments where they would try and look up your shorts
  1652. >It's... not a bad feeling, but you feel like teaching them a lesson
  1653. >Rarity was ecstatic to work on your design, perhaps because of the diamond motif?
  1654. >You wonder if you accidentally flirted with her
  1655. >Regardless, you told the pegasi you were going to take a nap after the latest game, and settled down on the grass
  1656. >It's disappointing how quickly they start nosing around
  1657. >After five minutes, you can feel their breaths on your thighs
  1658. >The stiff material shifts as they push closer to your crotch
  1659. >Okay, that's enough
  1660. "Boo!"
  1661. >The mares yelp and try to back out, but your shorts constrict, trapping their snouts against your thighs
  1662. "Caught you red handed!"
  1663. >The mares are blushing and making muffled alarmed horse noises, flapping their wings
  1664. >To your alarm, you feel yourself start to lift off
  1665. >Dash and Spits frantically take to the skies rump first while you dangle from their snouts
  1666. "Hey! Stop that!"
  1667. >No use
  1668. >They are panicking, eyes rolling back in their heads
  1669. >As the three of you climb higher and higher, you just accept it
  1670. >This is how you go, dying from dumb horses caught in a chinese pervert trap shorts
  1671. >You barely clear the rooftop to an apartment building when it happens
  1672. >The mares crash into the wall of the roof access, their snouts pushing deep into your shorts and jostling your balls a little painfully
  1673. >Finally released, you fall about a foot onto your back and grunt in pain
  1674. >You really didn't think this through
  1675. >You sit up slowly, watching the mares come to their senses
  1676. "You two are the worst."
  1677. >Rainbow laughs nervously
  1678. >"Haha, sorry, I just wasn't thinking."
  1679. >Spits nods
  1680. >"As her superior officer, I will accept all responsibility for injuries you received in this...accident."
  1681. >You raise an eyebrow
  1682. "What about sexually assaulting me in my sleep?"
  1683. >She pales and swallows
  1684. >"I-uh, I'll take full responsibility, or if you don't want that, I'll hoof the bill for your wedding, as well as whatever you think is necessary."
  1685. >You shake your head
  1686. "Why did you even do it in the first place? I thought we were friends."
  1687. >Spits and Dash slump guiltily
  1688. >Dash swallows
  1689. >"Well, you were wearing shorts. That's pretty much an invitation."
  1690. >You aren't impressed
  1691. >Spitfire looks at you skeptically
  1692. >"You weren't trying to tease us with baggy clothes that leave too much to the imagination?"
  1693. >You facepalm
  1694. "No, no I was not."
  1695. >Rainbow stares at you in confusion
  1696. >"Then why were you wearing shorts every time we hung out?"
  1697. >You shrug
  1698. "They're comfy and easy to wear."
  1699.  
  1700.  
  1701.  
  1702.  
  1703.  
  1704.  
  1705. >Be Bon Bon, secret agent in retirement
  1706. >Well, no secret agent truly retires, but you did get a cushy monitoring position in ponyville
  1707. >It seems the human spends a lot of time on his slabtop, and you get the job of monitoring his interweb activity
  1708. >You have never seen such filthiness
  1709. >Hoofholding videos
  1710. >Long debates in forums and comment sections over interspecies sexual compatibility
  1711. >Founding a cult of "Sunlords" filled with nothing but long-winded sexual and domestic fantasies regarding your grossly incandescent leader
  1712. >No treasonous activity, just perversity from dawn to dusk and deep into Luna's night
  1713. >And the things he draws and uploads
  1714. >Marehoods in the place of a hoof's frog
  1715. >Cancerously large teats on mares
  1716. >Mares in coltish, provocative poses
  1717. >It's enough to drive you to drink
  1718. >You have even caught yourself looking under Lyra's tail
  1719. >Just another day in Her Majesty's service
  1720.  
  1721.  
  1722.  
  1723.  
  1724.  
  1725.  
  1726. >Put 2 and 2 together and realize they are free.
  1727. >Put together increasingly unsustainable plans of world domination and becoming the alphas of the giga-herd across equestria.
  1728. >take quite a while before they realize they don't have any skills except eating the lawn, pulling things, and carrying anon.
  1729. >mooch off him by taking turns sleeping in his house.
  1730. >lose a lot of time through this habit, actually. Ponies still feel alien but they just 'know' each other.
  1731. >They get shit about it when they walk around, but can't care because those pozzers just don't know how to be the alpha anyway.
  1732. >Anon basically treats them as he use to, if talking a bit more. He doesn't care about their mooching because it's the same as it use to be, really. And he still thinks of them as pets as much as... 'herd-mates', or whatever ponies keep calling them.
  1733. >Plus, they're only, like, 10. Even if their bodies match adult ponies here, they just don't have their faculties yet.
  1734. >Tries to pay for any damage they do, keep them reigned in, etc.
  1735. >Ponies, meanwhile, are pretty appalled at them.
  1736. >Treating their stallion like a cook and housekeeper, and even making him slave away to pay for their bad behavior.
  1737. >They seemingly DGAF about most things, think property is a meme, don't understand the concept of law, and have an incredibly unusual obsession with those big yoga balls.
  1738. >And they've got NO clue what a cutiemark is.
  1739. >Fucking weirdos is what they are.
  1740. >But Anon swears up and down they're fine, just... maladjusted to Equestria.
  1741. >So nopony's decked them... yet.
  1742.  
  1743.  
  1744.  
  1745.  
  1746.  
  1747.  
  1748. >Someway, somehow, your entire home is yanked into RGRE, and your internet connection isn't severed.
  1749. >After some convincing and a few people confirming that your entire house vanished from it's spot, you single handedly become the most famous person alive by being the first one to contact aliens.
  1750. >Everyone is desperate to know what this technicolor world is like, and the more details you feed them, the more they want.
  1751. >Feminists swoon over a matriarchal society, conveniently ignoring the unpleasant parts to like how mares are soldiers, sanitation workers, construction workers etc.
  1752. >Many men sneer at the thought of being the 'lesser' gender, or being a 'furry', but the supreme abundance of female attention makes some reconsider.
  1753. >And A LOT of obvious feds ask things about Equestria's defense, what kind of resources do they have, how you got there, how would they get there, etc.
  1754. >But recently you haven't had much time to shit post, because a dedicated marefriend is much more fun
  1755.  
  1756.  
  1757.  
  1758.  
  1759.  
  1760.  
  1761.  
  1762. >You run a half-hearted youtube vlog by popular demand.
  1763. >Millions of subs in days, and before a month is out you're in the top 10 by sub count.
  1764. >Millions of views per video no matter what it is.
  1765. >One was just you laying down in the park watching pegasi fly. It got 20 million views in just under a week.
  1766. >Usually you keep anything personal out of the videos, but the most famous one, though?
  1767. >It's you, sitting in your darkened living room at midday. In your lap is a tiny foal, barely bigger than a kitten, and you're quietly feeding her with a bottle.
  1768. >You smile and with your free hand, hold up a bit of paper to the camera.
  1769. >It's a birth certificate.
  1770. >A birth certificate for your daughter, with you clearly labeled as the father.
  1771. >"Suprised me too when my wife said she was pregnant almost a year back," you smile as you explain in a hushed voice. "Magic is some wild stuff, and it bridged the biological gap like it wasn't even there."
  1772. >Your little filly finishes the bottle and curls up with her little muzzle pressed to your torso, already falling asleep.
  1773. "I don't think I'll be uploading as often anymore, but I'm sure you all understand," you say, reaching for the camera.
  1774. >The video is less than 30 seconds long and would be the last one you ever upload. It blew past a billon views in just 3 weeks
  1775.  
  1776.  
  1777. >You don't stop there.
  1778. >A lot of people called the video a hoax, but you upload a few more here and there, and everyone crying hoax is pretty swiftly silenced.
  1779. >A short video when your daughter can fully open her eyes. It's just a few seconds of you kissing her cheek as she giggles and baps your nose with a tiny hoof, but it shows that you and she have the same eye color.
  1780. >One where a sulking Rainbow is on the couch with an icepack between her legs, then you move the camera to your daughter.
  1781. >"Say 'Ahhhh' honey."
  1782. >The little filly opens her mouth wide, showing off a few teeth beginning to come in. Among them are sharp canines.
  1783. >"Guess we gotta start weening a little early."
  1784. >Another is during a doctor's visit.
  1785. >"So Spectra is having some trouble gripping things with her hooves," you mutter, the camera trained on a few MRI prints of a filly. "Something didn't hybridize well, so she's trying to use fingers that she doesn't have. Doc says no prob, she's just gotta train herself to use her hooves is all. Wild stuff, magic."
  1786.  
  1787.  
  1788. "Awwww Luna, look at the adorable human, he's been 'ruling' his country for a hoofful of years"
  1789. >"Is that what he calls it? We would call it fumbling"
  1790. "Sister, don't be rude, we're guests on this stream remember"
  1791. >"Celestia, there is a colt claiming to be the 'leader of the free world' are you sure this is a stream and not a comedy act"
  1792. "Luna, please don't insult Anon's peoples"
  1793. >>"Oh no no, Luna please continue, this is better than I could have hoped for"
  1794. >"Fantastic, now listen humans, let me tell you why stallions like you belong in the kitchen"
  1795.  
  1796.  
  1797.  
  1798.  
  1799. >You start the stream a little early to run a test, then forget to turn it off.
  1800. >A tide of viewers comes in.
  1801. >Celestia and Luna fly in and you welcome them inside with a traditional pony greeting, AKA a hug.
  1802. >You, Rainbow, Celestia, and Luna talk for a short bit.
  1803. >Your daughter wanders in. Celestia, who shines at seeing Spectra, lays down on her belly so she can play with the little filly, much to Luna's exasperation.
  1804. >You decide that makes for a good time to actually talk about the stream, and when Luna agrees, everyone settles into a cuddle-pile.
  1805. >Rainbow, as your alpha (and only) mare, takes your left side so you are on her right. Celestia (still holding your daughter) takes your right, as the highest-ranked mare who isn't of the household. She could have demanded being on your left if she felt like it, however, considering her royal status trumps that of the mare-of-the-house. Luna, ever so serious, takes the defensive spot laying across yours, Celestia's, and Rainbow's backs.
  1806. >The guards meanwhile cuddle close around the outside of the pile, forming a defensive ring of ponies.
  1807. >You tell everyone what to expect, who will be attending, what questions might come across as insensitive, etc.
  1808. >This isn't one of your 30-second shitposts or a poorly edited video without any explanation as to what is going on, but a REAL look at Equestrian dynamics that everyone gets to see. The watching scientists and sociologists are absolutely raving.
  1809. >When the conversation is over, everyone remains cuddled for several minutes to reaffirm the friendly bonds between everyone, then slowly separates.
  1810. >When you look back at the computer, you realize the stream has been going the entire time.
  1811. >Oops...
RGRE Promptbin

[RGRE] Gym Justice

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[RGRE] Dressage

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RGRE Promptbin 016

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[RGRE] Like a Good Neighbor, Starlight is There

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Optics (RGRE) (Anon/Spitfire)

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