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Kiteman

By FF
Created: 2021-04-12 12:04:14
Expiry: Never
anontwilight sparklestarlight glimmersafecomedyspike/glim/

  1. Post number/s: 30434094; 30434203; 30434283; 30434293;
  2. Original author: Anon
  3.  
  4. “Urk”
  5. > You stumble around your bedroom as you try to fit yourself into the bright green jumpsuit.
  6. > You’ve considered giving up and just dumping the stupid thing into the trash more than a few times, but every time something stops you.
  7. > That look on her face…
  8. > You frown.
  9. > Sucking in your gut, you squeeze into your costume.
  10. > Your balls feel like they’re being manhandled by the pony version of Satan.
  11. > Evil hooves manhandling your family jewels sounds just about right.
  12. > After a few quick adjustments – aka ball repositioning – you make your way to your mirror and marvel at the thing of beauty that is you.
  13. “Hmm, not bad~” You say as you scratch your chin in a fancy manner.
  14. > Grabbing your goggles, you think about what Glimmer reaction to all this would be.
  15. > Your face contorts into a ‘villainous’ grin as you slap on the eye gear.
  16. “She’s going to loves this.”
  17. > You nod to yourself and step out of your bedroom.
  18. > With a skip in your step, you walk out of your house and begin to make your way towards a certain crystal castle.
  19.  
  20. > Sigh.
  21. > You flop onto the table.
  22. > The stack of papers by your side wobbles around for a bit before collapsing upon your head.
  23. “Siiiigh”
  24. > You warm up your horn and magic the papers back into a neat pile.
  25. > Be Starlight the stupid.
  26. > Upright Twilight caught wind of you using magic on yourself and she grounded you for it.
  27. > Well, grounded might not exactly be the right word to use here.
  28. > You turn your head and glare at the pile of assignments that your “mentor” gave you.
  29. > Angry pony huffing sounds.
  30. “Huff!”
  31. > You smack them away with your hoof.
  32. > A sad frown forms on your face.
  33. > According to Twilight, you really had to learn to not use magic to force solutions to your problems.
  34. > She said it never works out in the end.
  35. > Those are blatant lies.
  36. > You know for a fact that Anon loved it when you used that spell.
  37. > He booped your nose and everything!
  38. > You groan.
  39. “Today is going to be a long day.”
  40. > You take one more look at the mess of assignments lying on the floor.
  41. “Or more like week” you grumble.
  42. > Thump. BAM!
  43. > Just then, the door to the study slams open, and standing in front of it is Anon, wearing a green and yellow jumpsuit.
  44. > He stands there with one hand on his waist and the other waving his cape around in what you can only describe as a ‘billowing’ manner.
  45. > The sight has you at a loss for words.
  46. > You wanted to ask Anon what he was doing but he begins to speak before you even have the chance to.
  47. > “Dear Starlight Glimmer! It is I, KITEMAN! I am here to whisk you away from your drab and dreary confines and take you on a villainous spree of mischief!”
  48. > Each word out of Anons mouth sounds absurdly theatrical and loud.
  49. > And with that, another pose is struck.
  50. > It takes you a moment to put the pieces together, but when you do, you can only laugh.
  51. > Lighthearted giggles escape you as you look upon Anon and all his glory.
  52. > Anon is such a goof, but he’s a cute goof.
  53. > Obviously this is his very own way of cheering you up.
  54. > It really is sweet.
  55. > You can only imagine how hard must have been for him to find a costume in his size and for him to walk around in public like that.
  56. > He even dressed up as your favorite superhero from those ‘BADMAN’ stories of his.
  57. > Anon is doing all of this for you.
  58. > You can feel your heart jumping in your chest and those special little butterflies fluttering away in your stomach.
  59. > You can’t help but smile.
  60. > Anon went through all the trouble of setting this up for you.
  61. > There’s no way in Tartarus that you are going to let all his good intentions go to waste.
  62. > Time to play along.
  63. “Kiteman! It’s the REAL Kiteman! I’m your biggest fan.” You say with all the enthusiasm and energy of Pinkie Pie.
  64. > Like a young schoolfilly, you skip towards the masked hero excitedly, hooves clicking against the crystal floor as you do.
  65. > Anon grins his signature goofy grin as you approach him.
  66. > “And you are my favorite pony, Starlight! Prettiest of them all.”
  67. > He bends down and gives you a hug.
  68. > You hide your blushing face as you hug Anon back.
  69. > Just for that comment you make sure to hug him extra tight.
  70. > The hug only lasts for a few seconds.
  71. > Anon releases you and stands back up, shooting you a ‘thumbs up’ as he grins.
  72. > You roll your eyes at him.
  73. > Him and his human things.
  74. > You can feel yourself smiling from ear to ear.
  75. > The silliness and sweetness that is Anon is exactly what you needed today.
  76. > It’s nice knowing that there’s somepony that cares for you as much as Anon does.
  77. > “Okay, let’s get going dear pony girl. We have a town to terrorize!” Anon exclaims, interrupting you from your train of thought.
  78. > Upon hearing his words, you instinctively frown and look back at the stack of papers behind you.
  79. > You just remembered that you were still ‘grounded’.
  80. > Anon takes notice of this and lays his rough hand on top of your head, rustling your mane with his fingers.
  81. > “Don’t worry. I had a little chat with the Princess. She said it was okay.”
  82. > You pause for a moment.
  83. > A soft smile makes its way to your lips.
  84. > He broke character there for a second, but you didn’t care, you were way too happy right now to take notice.
  85. “If that’s the case, then what are we waiting here for? Let’s go An… Kiteman!”
  86. > You hastily trot past Anon and through the door.
  87. > If someone saw you then they’d think that you were trying to run away from your work.
  88. > And they would be absolutely right.
  89. > Anon follows behind you as you skip towards the front door.
  90. > “Of we go Glimmer!” He yells out.
  91. > You laugh.
  92. > You laugh loud and without care.
  93. > You had no clue what Anon had in store for your today, but whatever it was it was going to be fun.
  94. “A date with Kiteman” you giggle to yourself as you rush out the door.
  95.  
  96. > Be Spike.
  97. > Watch a superhero ask Twilight if he can take Glimmer out on a date.
  98. > Watch a superhero nag Twilight into submission after she says no.
  99. > Watch said superhero run off with Glimmer to who knows where to do who knows what.
  100. > You shrug nonchalantly and continue sweeping the floor.
  101. “Why are things always so weird here in Ponyville?” You ask the empty castle halls.

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