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Dragon Penalty (Anon x Glimmer) by Blasted Cannon

By FF
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-04-16 00:51:58
Expiry: Never
anonstarlight glimmerromancesafecomedy/glim/

  1. Post number/s: 31116886; 31116903; 31116918;
  2. Original author: Blasted Cannon !1pgBOLBb.g
  3.  
  4. >It’s the best night of the week
  5. >Game night with your marefriend Starlight Glimmer!
  6. >You’ve been waiting for this since…. like, forever
  7. >Well, since last week
  8. >Last week… where Starlight beat you yet again in Dragon Pit
  9. >It’s unfair, she’s been playing that game since she was a foal
  10. >It’s also embarrassing as fuck to lose to your marefriend
  11. >This week though, THIS week you are going to kick her squishy, adorable butt
  12. >....and maybe if you’re lucky plow it later
  13. >This week it's your turn to pick a game
  14. >aka not Dragon Pit week
  15. >....she picks Dragon Pit every time it's her turn….
  16. >You really want to continue your Oubliettes & Ogres campaign, but that includes some of your other friends
  17. >Tonight it's just you and your pretty mare
  18. >You’re thinking either Horseshoes and Ladders or Cloperation
  19. >Horseshoes and Ladders is a classic but you’ve never played Cloperation with her before
  20. >Fuck it bring them both!
  21. >You grab them from your closet and head out to Starlight’s place
  22. >Or rather Princess Twilight’s castle
  23. >Your current house is tiny straw shack barely fit for one, and Princess Twilight doesn’t want her place to become a hotel
  24. >She let you stay there for a bit when you appeared here until more permanent accommodations were made, it's how you met Starlight
  25. >But you and Starlight have been saving bits and searching for a place to call your own
  26.  
  27. >You arrive at the castle
  28. >It has no locks so you can just waltz right in
  29. >Pony society sure is nice
  30. >The lights are out, that's odd
  31. >Even when nobody’s home they are usually left on
  32. >Suddenly, an ominous voice fills the room
  33. >”Beware traveller, for you’ve made a grave mistake coming here”
  34. >You can’t help but snicker at Starlight’s spiel
  35. >You decide to play along
  36. >Using the Horseshoes and Ladders box as a shield, you raise yourself to arms
  37. >You clear your throat
  38. >Using the most heroic (and generic) hero voice you could think of:
  39. “Show yourself fiend! You shall not harm my people any longer, for I am the Bringer of Justice!”
  40. >You cringe at yourself, that last line was fucking pathetic
  41. >”You may still be able to save some of them yet”
  42. “Anything for my kingdom! What do you want from me you evil… despicable…. lemon! ”
  43. >Every villain is lemons
  44. >Nice one brain, you’re really making an impression on her tonight
  45. >”A noble sacrifice must be made, art thou committed?”
  46. “I will give my life for their safety!”
  47. >Good thing you didn’t fuck up that line, there wasn’t much to really say
  48. >”Your life hah!, please, keep your life, it’s not worth much anyway”
  49. >Even as a joke that hurt to hear from her, but you reflect it off
  50. “I’m ready to pay the price, for I have no other choice”
  51. >”Very well. The price of your people is… one game of Dragon Pit”
  52. “NOOOOOO”
  53. >You put on a super dramatic act, you drop down to your knees and hold your hands together in a beggar's position”
  54. “You must be willing to barter fiend! I’ll give you all my belongings, anything else!”
  55. >”I take that as a no then? Very well, I’ll gladly take your townspeople’s lives!”
  56. >”And yours too I suppose, but it may only bog me down”
  57. >damn
  58. >You get up and ready your shield, then you realize you have nothing to use as a sword
  59. >”I gave you a choice, and you choose to fight me without weaponry? How insulting”
  60. >Not nearly as insulting as the jabs she gave you
  61. >”Ready yourself traveler, I shall take you first, and your people for desert!”
  62. >You look to your left and right, but can barely see anything in the darkness of the castle
  63. >A body rushes by to your left
  64. >As you turn your head to the left, the evil creature is already in the air, hooves first, moments away from striking!”
  65. >...
  66. “uhhhg”
  67. >You sit yourself up and see a pink pony sitting in your lap
  68. >The box for Horseshoes and Ladders is destroyed, along with the pieces spread across the entire floor
  69. >”Beware traveller, for you’ve made a grave mistake coming here… 20 minutes late”
  70. >jesus christ, still continuing with her ominous voice
  71. >”Your punishment for this mistake will be one game of Dragon’s Pit before the traveler’s game of choice is played. May Celestia have mercy on your soul”
  72. “Don’t think it will be so easy this time, I’ve been practicing all week!”
  73. >That’s bullshit, you know it, she knows it
  74. >You ruffle her mane
  75. “Well we ought to go get it set up”
  76. >”It’s all set up already, so we have time to sit here for a bit!”
  77. >Her ears go up and her blue eyes twinkle as she tells you that
  78. “In that case…”
  79. >You rub her in her special spot, right behind her left ear
  80. >”No, Anon, stop!!!”
  81. >Her hind leg starts kicking
  82. >”A-Anon you know I can’t help it!!!”
  83. >You learned her sweet spot pretty early on in your relationship. Makes her start kicking her hind leg like a dog. Animal instincts you suppose, she must find it primitive and embarrassing
  84. >But you find it absolutely adorable
  85. >”I-I-It's EMBARRASSING!!! I’ll kick you!”
  86. >Suspicions confirmed
  87. >You both let out a laugh
  88. >Rubs, boops, and cuddles commence
  89. >Might as well enjoy your time on death row until your sentence gets carried out
  90.  
  91. (Archiver's note: The author's pastebin was either removed or the pastes were made private, luckily the wayback machine captured two of the three author's stories but you can also find them on desu archives.)

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