GREEN
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1722 9.55 KB 132
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>You are Anon.
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>And up until two months ago you were just wasting away at a simple job as a park ranger of the National Park Service.
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>It was a nice job for all intents and purposes, but lacked any real chance for making it big.
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>You weren’t going to complain however.
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>The job after all paid the bills and kept a roof over your head, and let’s not forget the free time during work where all you did was ride around the large expanse of land owned by the government.
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>Sometimes you’d happen across some hikers and relay any information about what to watch out for or give advice on where to camp.
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>But that was your life up until the world turned on its head two long months ago.
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>”Mr. Secretary, you have a meeting with the representative from the Department of Energy at four.”
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>Your assistant, a nice old lady smiled and placed a handful of paperwork on the less cluttered portion of the desk before leaving.
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“Uh, thanks.”
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>Frantically you moved the bundles of paperwork across your desk in a vain attempt at finding your planner.
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>One of these days you were going to get through all this stuff.
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>You’re probably curious now as to what happened two months ago by now so I won’t leave you in suspense.
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>You see, two months ago strange creatures began appearing throughout the planet and everything changed.
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>They called themselves “ponies” and came from a world where magic and just about everything talked.
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>But they were visitors with a purpose.
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>Theirs was a world where females outnumbered males by a sizeable margin.
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>So naturally Magic + lonely females = way to acquire dick
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>At first the numbers of males disappearing without a trace was miniscule, the government had bigger fish to fry so they ignored it.
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>About a week later it became a problem that couldn’t be simply swept under the carpet any longer.
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>Men began vanishing by the thousands every day.
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>Investigations were launched by every investigative agency around the world.
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>What they found was truly terrifying.
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>These mares would appear, promise a life without any further problems and love to a male, then vanish.
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>With every passing week more and more men vacated planet earth, choosing a life in the unknown.
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>You however never got a visit from an alien equine.
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>That’s about the gist of it.
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>So why weren’t you in a cozy little ranger station in the woods anymore?
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>The answer is actually really simple, they didn’t have anyone else for the position.
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>More precisely just about everyone between your low position as a simple park ranger and the Secretary of the Interior was gone.
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>How’s that for career mobility.
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>One day you were sitting eating a cup of noodles in the Ranger Station, and the next you’re in a snazzy office in Washington.
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>Leaning back in the overly-expensive seat you ran your hand through your hair out of exhaustion.
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>At least things couldn’t get any worse.
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>Almost as if the universe itself had heard your internal remark and decided to give you a big ‘ole fuck you, your phone began to vibrate.
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>It was probably another reminder for a meeting.
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>That’s all your life was now, a meeting after fucking meeting, day in and day out.
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>Cursing loudly you picked up your phone and looked at the screen.
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>You wished at that moment you hadn’t.
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>It was a message about the middle-east.
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“I want to say I don’t get paid enough to deal with this, but that would be a lie.”
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>Standing up you picked up your jacket off the back of the chair and headed out.
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>The boss-lady wanted all Department Heads in her office and you hated being the last one there.
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>”This is no longer a problem we can be lax about.”
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>The President of the United States looked between all the people gathered in the briefing room.
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>Even that weird guy in charge of Agriculture who was trying to sneak some sips from a flask he kept in his coat.
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>You fiddled with a pen.
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>After all you were just the secretary of the Interior, none of this shit even mattered to your department.
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>”We now have confirmed reports that over eighty percent of the men in the middle-east have been transplanted.”
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>Murmurs erupted as everyone turned to each other to whisper their opinions.
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>”We managed to gain some intelligence that another country in the world these ‘ponies’ occupy are facing male shortages and have gladly accepted them.”
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>There goes the war on terror.
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>And a slice of your budget.
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>”This other country is occupied by sapient sheep and goat like creatures.”
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>You can’t be fucking serious.
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>But judging by the look on the President’s face, she was.
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>”As of right now any pony sighted is to be automatically detained. Any attempt to leave with a man is to be considered an act of war.”
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>More murmurs erupted at the proclamation.
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>Raising your hand you waited to be acknowledged.
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>Almost as if sensing that there was a question the steely eyes of the United States first female President locked in on you.
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>”This isn’t a classroom Mr. Mouse, speak.”
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“How are you going to detain them if they can just teleport away?”
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>It was a simple question and honestly you felt sort of stupid for asking it, but you did.
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>The president’s gaze narrowed then quickly changed to one of anger.
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>”FUCK!”
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>You guessed they didn’t bother to ask themselves that question.
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***CURRENT MALE PERCENTAGE ON PLANET EARTH: 35%***
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>Driving home used to take you hours before.
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>Mainly due to the congestion that is DC traffic.
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>But now, it was almost a ghost town. Sure, there were still cars on the road, but lack of mechanics was starting to show more and more.
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>Fortunately your dad taught you everything you would ever need to know about how to fix a car.
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>Pulling up to the gated community door you flashed your identification to the female guard.
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>”How was your day Anon?”
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>Lori, the slightly chubby guard gave her best smile when she saw you.
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>She was one of the good ones.
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>Her husband was an accountant and the two have been happily married for almost twenty years.
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>They couldn’t afford the place in this neighborhood but were still happy just being together.
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>Some marriages made it like that, many more however weren’t so lucky.
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“Managed to not piss off everybody so far.”
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>”Well you need to step up your game sweetie. You know you aren’t doing your job right if they don’t try to kill you at least once a week.”
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“I’d prefer it if there weren’t any attempts on my life, ever.”
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>With a wave you drove through the now opened gate.
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>Yours was a neighborhood of the privileged.
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>A big step up from your one bedroom apartment before.
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>Most people residing here belonged to the political and economic elite.
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>Generals, Politicians, and CEO’s of companies all owned homes here, away from the strife of the outside world.
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>Turning the corner you saw your house.
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>A Two-story Victorian with a white picket fence, garage, and…
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>And your neighbor passed out on your lawn.
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>Again.
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>Every fucking day with this guy.
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>Pulling into your driveway you stepped out of your car and walked up to the passed-out individual that could be considered a frien- acquaintance.
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“George, wake up. You passed out outside again.”
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>George W. Bush former President and connoisseur of the drink nursed a bottle of Jim Beam.
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>Nudging him with your foot earned you a groan from the gray-haired man.
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>”No Dick, no, I don’t want to speak to congress again.”
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>Shaking your head at the sleep talking man you opted to just let him sleep this one off.
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>Walking to your door you spared one more look at the man before heading inside.
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>No sooner had you closed the door did you realize something was off.
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>Perhaps it was the fact that there was a light coming from your kitchen.
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>Or that it smelled like something was being cooked.
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>And a sweet melodic tone coming from where the light and smell originated.
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>Nervously you took one step forward, then another, and before you knew it you were pressed up against the wall right outside the kitchen.
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>The voice was sweet and gentle and carried through the air almost magically.
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>It was a miracle you could hear it over your pounding heart.
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>Craning your head slightly you peaked into the kitchen to see who the home intruder was.
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>What you saw made you nearly faint.
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>Spoon in her mouth, a pony floated over a pot stirring its contents.
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>Her wings flapped lazily.
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>Like a scene out of the movies her head turned and your eyes met.
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>The spoon dropped out of her mouth as she gasped.
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>”It’s you! They told me I should just wait here for you at your home, but I was worried that it might seem rude and they were just playing a prank on me.”
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>The yellow pony floated carrying on while you could only stare in confusion.
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>This wasn’t real.
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>There was no way this could be real.
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>”They told me that I would find my special somepony this way, but I almost didn’t believe it.”
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>You’re not sure if you believed it.
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>Holding out her hoof you saw a small gem begin to glow before everything turned white from light that it emitted.
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>In the years to come society changed.
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>Women speak of the times before when men and women cohabitated together.
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>But women took men for granted because they didn’t believe there was anything in existence that could challenge their grasp on men.
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>Then creatures from another world came and took the men away.
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>Not all of them, but enough to destroy what took centuries to build.
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>The world didn’t end.
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>It however changed.
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>For the better or worse depends on the person asking the question.
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>And in a far-off land, in a small cottage surrounded by trees and various animals two happy souls sat together, holding each other on a couch.
by wayofthewaningsun
by wayofthewaningsun