Summer Friends


                                            >You pull up to the house at the end of the street.

                                            >You've been here tons of times, but it's still weird seeing it. Like it's not of this world.

                                            >You guess, technically speaking, it's not.

                                            >Especially now, in the dark of night, with only a flickering streetlight throwing light onto its exterior.

                                            >You reach for your phone when you see the front door swing open and a figure emerging from it.

                                            >Leaning over, you open the passenger door for her as she approaches.

                                            >Eri climbs in and pulls the door shut without so much as a hello.

                                            >You sit there for a second, thrown off by her demeanor.

                                            >From the light of the dashboard, the distress on her face is unmistakable.

                                            "You okay?"

                                            >"Can you just drive?" she asks callously, staring straight ahead.

                                            >You pause.

                                            "Yeah. Sure."

                                            >You put the car in reverse and turn it around.

                                            >As you pull out of Eri's street, she doesn't so much as move a muscle.

                                            >You feel uncomfortable asking, but you're at a loss at what to do. She's never done something like this.

                                            >That's how you knew it was for real.

                                            "Anywhere in particular?"

                                            >"I don't care. Just keep driving."

                                            >Streets are empty. Nobody in this town's got a reason to be out this late.

                                            >You head towards downtown, because that's just about the only place you know to go. You haven't been driving for very long, and you're still figuring all the streets out.

                                            >For the next few minutes, you don't hear a sound from her. Only the hum of the engine, the tires up against asphalt, and the turn signal clicking.

                                            >The world's gravely silent.

                                            >It's weird, being out at this hour. It's like a whole 'nother world.

                                            >It looks the same as the one you grew up in, just different. Empty.

                                            >The strip malls are dead and the parking lots vacant. All the windows dark.

                                            >You pull up to the intersection by the town square and get forced into a decision left or right.

                                            >But both go equally nowhere. Past a few blocks of businesses, there's... nothing.

                                            >You roll into the intersection and you stop, shifting the car into park.

                                            >"What are you doing?"

                                            >Great. She finally speaks.

                                            "I'm not moving till you talk to me."

                                            >She glances out the window. "Anon, that's crazy. You're blocking the road. What if a car comes?"

                                            "Then they'll just have to wait for you to talk, too."

                                            >"Don't be stupid," she says, turning back to you. "Just move."

                                            "I can't! I don't know where the hell to go. I don't even know what we're doing out here. If you'd just tell me what's going on..."

                                            >"I can't be there right now. That's it."

                                            >The two of you wallow in an uncomfortable silence.

                                            "Something wrong?"

                                            >"Yeah," she mutters. She doesn't elaborate.

                                            "You want me to shut up?"

                                            >"Yeah."

                                            >So you do.

                                            >You don't know what's going on, but you don't need to. You'd still be here all the same.

                                            >Eri texts you at 3 AM asking you to come over, you do. You couldn't really say the same for any of the others.

                                            >Maybe that speaks to your relationship.

                                            >Best friends? She's yours. You don't know if she reciprocates. She's close with Deep Rest.

                                            >She didn't ask Deep to come over.

                                            >...because she doesn't drive.

                                            >Plus she's got to be asleep. She's not the night owl you and Eri are.

                                            >You don't know, and you don't really care. It hasn't mattered thus far. Labels aren't all that important.

                                            >You're just glad you have a relationship with her.

                                            >Even if it's not close enough for her to talk right now.

                                            >"Shit, Anon, move!"

                                            "No, it's okay, we d—"

                                            >You look over to see Eri staring out the window. At a police car coming down the road to the right.

                                            "Fuck!"

                                            >You hastily shift gears and peel out, turning down the opposite direction.

                                            >The engine revs as you try to get away and make it seem like you were intent on turning the whole time.

                                            "Is he following us?"

                                            >Eri peers over the seat, looking out the rear window. "Slow down, idiot, you're making it worse!"

                                            "Fuck fuck fuck..."

                                            >You lay off the gas and take the next turn, hoping to duck out of sight.

                                            >You didn't see flashing lights in the mirror, so that's got to be a good sign, right?

                                            >Eri keeps watch of your tail while you twist through off-streets, anxious to put as many blocks between you and the cop as possible.

                                            >Finally, you feel calm enough to pull over and shut off the engine. Eri sits back down in her seat.

                                            "God damn it," you whisper, releasing your tense grip on the steering wheel.

                                            >Eri taps at your arm. "Hey. Let's go to the lake."

                                            "What? Seriously? It's got to be—"

                                            >"Yeah, seriously," she cuts you off. "If you take me, I'll talk."

                                            >You hesitate a moment. If you agree, it'll probably be dawn by the time you get home.

                                            >...

                                            >Fuck it. Not like you've got anything to do tomorrow.

                                            >Without a word, you start the car back up.

                                            >Eri smiles faintly. You catch it out of the corner of your eye.

                                            >And to be honest, that makes you kinda happy.


                                            >It's a little over thirty minutes to the lake.

                                            >She doesn't say much on the drive up. You don't ask her to.

                                            >You trust her to keep the promise. It's a weird fucking request, but she's not the type to renege on a deal.

                                            >At least not with you.

                                            >You pull up to the parking lot gate, only to find it chained together.

                                            "Great."

                                            >"Who gives a shit?" she says, opening the door. "Just leave it here."

                                            "Wait, Eri—"

                                            >She slams the door behind her before you can finish.

                                            >You sigh and resign to your fate, shutting off the car and following after her.

                                            >"No one's gonna even notice," she says, anticipating your objections. "Who's gonna come out to check? C'mon."

                                            >She ducks under the gate and trots down the lot.

                                            >Way too low for you. You swing your legs over instead.

                                            >Crickets are loud out here. That's the first thing you notice.

                                            >That, and how damn dark it is with your headlights off. You didn't realize it was a new moon.

                                            >Why would you even care? It's not like you do this all the time.

                                            >You follow Eri down to the shore. The lake is perfectly still. No ripples or anything.

                                            >She sits herself on the sand and you plop down next to her.

                                            "I'm gonna get sand in my shoes," you groan.

                                            >"Shut up," she jeers.

                                            "Easy for you."

                                            >You tap your foot against her hoof.

                                            >"Can't you just enjoy the view?"

                                            "I can barely see for shit."

                                            >"Typical you."

                                            >You lean back on your hands.

                                            "Fine. I'll shut up and try to see it from your shoes. OH WAIT."

                                            >"Oh my goooood," she painfully groans. "That doesn't even make sense. It's 'walk in your shoes'. You're the human and you don't even know that."

                                            "Okay, whatever, I'll get real."

                                            >You let yourself sit back and stare out at the landscape before you, dimly lit by the stars, taking it in.

                                            >It'd be nice to photograph if the lighting weren't shit. It'd take a crazy long exposure to make it look good and you're nowhere near that good yet.

                                            >Maybe that's the kind of stuff they'll teach you over there. You hope.

                                            >The minutes go by. Eri's perfectly content to sit there in silence, but you're growing antsy.

                                            "You ever gonna tell me why we're here?"

                                            >"Maybe."

                                            "Okay then."

                                            >"You got a cig?" she suddenly asks. "I gotta calm my nerves if I'm gonna do this."

                                            "Yeah."

                                            >You pull the pack from your shirt pocket and take two out.

                                            >Offering her one, she takes it in her teeth. You light hers first, then your own.

                                            >She takes a long drag and finally unseals the vault within.

                                            >"Do you think I'm a fuck-up?"

                                            "No. Why?"

                                            >"I don't know what I'm gonna do. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing with my life."

                                            >You pause.

                                            "I thought we agreed you weren't gonna think about it till after summer."

                                            >She turns to you. "After summer, you're gone. Everyone's gone. What, am I supposed to wait to figure it out all alone?"

                                            "Not everyone..."

                                            >"Yes, everyone," she replies coldly. "I counted."

                                            >That can't be right.

                                            >You knew more or less everyone had plans, but not one of them's staying in town?

                                            "Still, we *just* graduated. Can't you take at least a month to enjoy life without freaking out about the future?"

                                            >She looks at you with betrayal in her eyes. "Freaking out? How can you say that? Mr. Big Shot, going to New York to follow his dreams, you've got it all figured out, and I— I have nothing. Once summer ends, I'll be NOTHING."

                                            "It's not like that. I don't have as much of a plan as you think, and you've still got your parents."

                                            >"Fuck my parents," she scoffs, taking a drag. "They think I'm a piece of shit for not doing anything, too."

                                            >There are tears in her eyes. You notice even though she doesn't want you to.

                                            >You don't know what to say.

                                            >You don't know how to help.

                                            "Did you talk to Deep?"

                                            >That's the best you can do.

                                            >Eri sniffles. "She's busy with community college."

                                            "Already?"

                                            >"It's some accelerated thing. I don't know. She's gonna be a CNA by the fall."

                                            >Fuck.

                                            >No wonder she's having a crisis.

                                            >The group was in agreement that you'd all just enjoy the summer.

                                            >Guess people have different definitions of 'enjoy'.

                                            >"Tell me I'm not a failure," she says.

                                            "You're not a failure."

                                            >"I don't believe you."

                                            "You're not a failure," you repeat.

                                            >She shakes her head. "Never gonna believe it."

                                            >You stare out at the lake.

                                            >"Thanks anyway," she murmurs.

                                            >The two of you sit there on the shore, watching your cigarettes gradually dwindle until you inevitably put them out in the sand, extinguishing your only source of light.

                                            >A long silence follows.

                                            >"How come we never hooked up?" she inquires, completely unprompted.

                                            >The question catches you off guard.

                                            "What?"

                                            >You're not sure you heard her right.

                                            >"You never made a move on me."

                                            >No, you heard her right.

                                            "You've never made a move on me, either."

                                            >"That's your excuse?"

                                            >You sigh, put off by the subject.

                                            "You don't want to sleep with me."

                                            >"Why not?"

                                            "Why? 'Cause for years you've never felt the need to, and you're only just now considering it because you're in an emotional state and terrified by the idea that we only have a few months left together."

                                            >"So?"

                                            "So, you're vulnerable right now and I'd be taking advantage of you. You'd regret it tomorrow, and probably resent me for it."

                                            >She snorts. "Pussy."

                                            "Wow. Real classy."

                                            >You don't bother engaging further. She's just poking fun, anyway. That's her style.

                                            >You can't say you haven't thought about it, though.

                                            >But it'd be fucked up. You've been friends since you were kids. You don't see her that way.

                                            >Your other friends, though...

                                            "I fucked Damage Case."

                                            >She snaps upright. "WHAT?"

                                            "Yeah."

                                            >She punches you and laughs. "What the fuck, Anon?"

                                            "Wanted to see what it'd be like."

                                            >"And?" she asks, grinning in excitement.

                                            "Wasn't bad."

                                            >She rolls onto her back. "Oh my God, you total whore!"

                                            >Wasn't something you were planning on sharing, mainly for his sake, but fuck it, right?

                                            >You're in a weird mood out here, and you'll be parting ways soon. Who knows when you'll see her again?

                                            >If you'll ever see her again?

                                            >...

                                            >Fuck.

                                            >No, you'll still be friends. Ten years doesn't vanish just like that.

                                            >Feels scary, though. She's always been there.

                                            >Soon, she just... won't.

                                            >Eri sits back up.

                                            >Desperate to distract yourself, you change the topic.

                                            "You still coming to the bonfire Friday?"

                                            >"I don't know," she grumbles. "Listening to everyone talk about their plans... the fuck am I supposed to say?"

                                            "Come on. Isn't that why you dragged me out here? To scout the location beforehand?"

                                            >"I picked here because I wanted to get out of that stupid fucking town, and this is the only place we probably won't get murdered. Probably."

                                            "You gotta come. It's literally the last time we'll all be together. It doesn't count if anyone's not there."

                                            >"I don't know."

                                            "I'll let you go as my date."

                                            >She twists her face and sticks her tongue out.

                                            "Who are you bunking with? Deep and Connie? Ditch 'em."

                                            >"And sleep in the boys' tent? Fat fuckin' chance."

                                            "Mellow's with Paper, dumbass. And Damage'd probably switch with you if you asked."

                                            >She smirks. "And break up the two lovebirds? I could never!"

                                            >You pull her hood over her head, and she bats at your hand with her hooves.

                                            >"Fine!" she shouts, relenting. "I'll do it. I got to admit, I'm kinda curious to see what a night with Anon — world's greatest lover — is like."

                                            "Just for that, I'm kicking you in your sleep."

                                            >"Whatever. I can take it."

                                            >The playfulness settles down back into placid quietude once again.

                                            >It's so easy to get lost in yourself out here. You wonder why you haven't bothered till now.

                                            >"Wanna head back?" she asks softly.

                                            "Not really."

                                            >"Me either. Kinda wanna see the sunrise."

                                            "We can stay a bit longer."

                                            >Shivering a bit, she zips up her hoodie and leans her head against your shoulder, gazing out at the lake with you. It's nice.

                                            >You wish summer didn't have to end.

                                            >You wish tonight didn't have to end. But the sun's gonna come no matter what.

                                            >Life's moving way faster than you thought it would.

                                            >It's like, yesterday you were just a boy and a filly screwing with the anthills behind the playground.

                                            >And now you're... whatever *this* is.

                                            >It came and went so fast. And now everyone's going off to do their own thing.

                                            >Bambi's leaving on Monday. Your last hurrah together is in three days.

                                            >Then... that's it.

                                            >Group's not much a group anymore.

                                            >Obviously, Eri's thinking the same thing, because the next words out of her mouth are "I'm gonna miss you, Anon."

                                            >And, of course, you want to say "I'll miss you, too."

                                            >But you don't.

                                            >Looking back, maybe you should have.

                                            >You should've done a lot of things different.