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Anon sitting Scootaloo (RGRE)

By BottleAnon
Created: 2021-09-23 08:09:04
Updated: 2021-09-23 08:18:35
Expiry: Never
anonscootalooapplejack/rgre/spitfirereverse gender roles

  1. Originally written by Slownon, archived here by me
  2.  
  3. >Nice fresh air, a gentle breeze and Celestia's sun is finally not shining as fucking bright today
  4. >However though your shirt is starting to stick to your back from all of the sweat you're producing
  5. >Not to mention that you had thought it would be neat to wear a white shirt today, well now it is kind of dirty and see through
  6. >"Whoa nelly Anon, you're treating your boss to a show alright!"
  7. >With a loud groan and the usual rolling of your eyes, you turn to see the oragne coated mare wearing her famous cowboy hat thing
  8. >"I'm glad that you enjoyed it Applejack, I should start charing you thirty bits per second if you keep this up."
  9. >Everday that you've been working here you've had this tiny horse perving on you and your sweet, sweet human body
  10. >At least you tink it's pretty sweet, coming to Equestria helped you come to terms with your body, which has lost its slight muffin top since then
  11. >You can even spy some small abs growing on your tummy, better cut down on the physical work then
  12. >Being average is nice but you don't want to become too muscular, the middle is always a lovely spot
  13. >But back to the present and the apple pony who is still staring at you, but now licking her lips, eugh
  14. >"Now why would ya charge an honest mare like me Anon? I might just make this show of yours, your rent for the week."
  15. >What's even worse is that you get to go 'home' to this mare's house and sleep in the attic
  16. >You still praise Granny Smith's old person sense of reasoning ever since she decided to add a lock on the inside of your new room
  17. >Not letting Applejack get close to you while you sleep, who knows what she might do, probably watch you since you know she ain't that dumb
  18. >"Maybe I should charge you for sexual harrassment at the workplace miss bossy thighs."
  19. >Now it was your turn to grin as she looked disgusted
  20. >If there was one thing you knew very well, was that Applejack was ashamed of her thighs, for some odd reason
  21. >You weren't a pony convert yet, but even you can admit that she has some nice curvage going on there
  22. >"Dang nabbit Anon, ya know real well how I feel about these things!"
  23. >She pointed down to her hind legs but you couldn't help but snicker
  24. >Serves her right, ain't no one gonna perve on Anon toda-
  25. >"Why Applejack, Anonymous darlings, it is such a pleasure to see you two right now."
  26. >Nevermind, fuck that idea right out the window in a shoe box
  27. >From your right, and Applejack's left you both see the most elegant and classy unicorn of Ponyville
  28. >If by most elegant and classy you of course mean elusive and catty, then yes
  29. >You still can't get a good read of this bitch, and you've had a literal year to try
  30. >The most you know is that she is supposedly generous, cares for her sister somewhat and makes tiny little horse clothes for tiny little horses
  31. >"R-Rarity?! Now what in tarnation are ya doing on the farm?"
  32. >Good thing Applejack still seems flustered by your earlier comment, time to abuse this advantage now and lea-
  33. >"Oh why Applejack darling, I just need a moment of our dear Anonymous' time, I won't be too long."
  34. >Damn this white unicorn with unnaturally curly hair,second time she's interrupted your exquisite inner monolu-
  35. >"Now Anonymous, pardon my rather rude and sudden interruption of your duties, but I was under the impression that you are running out of clothes recently."
  36. >Fuck it, inner thoughts about things were useless with this mare around
  37. >But now that she mentions it, you did tell Fluttershy that you noticed a few of your shirts missing
  38. >Damn you Fluttershy, your cute kindness must have compelled you to tell Rarity
  39. >Resist! Resist next time Fluttershy so that you don't kill Equestria's only human with cuteness as he tries to give you a thank you hug like last time
  40. >"O-oh? Anon's shirts are disappearing now? Why didn't ya say anything about it sugrecube?"
  41. >Because you Applejack, seem like the most likely suspect of course
  42. >Letting out a small groan you wipe your face full of sweat and squat down and lean against the tree, you figured this might take a bit
  43. >"Yes Rarity, I am having an issue of not having enough clothes, but what does this have to do with you?"
  44. >And there's now a smirk on her face, why would she eve-
  45. >Oh right, clothes maker, forgot that part
  46. >"Why Anonymous think of the oppurtunity that is now almost hoofed to me on a silver platter, I now have the most gracious chance to make the only human some clothing!"
  47. >She is practically shivering with excitement now, you can see her legs shaking too
  48. >A glance at Applejack shows that she is biting her lip, probably trying to imagine you in some risque work attire
  49. >Probably assless chaps, you wearing them would be a no go for sure, but Applejack wearing them?
  50. >If she can perv on you, then you have every right to perv on her, it's just that years of keeping your libido hidden has trained you well
  51. >"So, will I get to design the clothing at least? I hope this doesn't sound offensive but I would not appreciate work clothes that feature feathers from every bird in Equestria."
  52. >Her expression actually drops a little but she perks right back up and claps her front hooves
  53. >"Why not drop by the boutique tomorrow then? You and I can spend the day gathering materials and designing you some wonderful clothing."
  54. >That, actually doesn't sound too bad, luckily for her it is your day off
  55. >"Luckily for you Rarity, it is my day off tomorrow, so I'll be at your place sometime in the late morning if you don't mind."
  56. >"It's a date then, I'll be sure to close the boutique tomorrow then, so that we won't be disturbed."
  57. >The white pony bows at you and Applejack before she walks away, adding an extra swing to her step than normal
  58. >Huh, she must be pretty happy to make you some clo-
  59. >"Now why the hay would ya go and do that Anon?"
  60. >Whoa now little lady, what's got Applejack's non-existant nickers in a twist?
  61. >"How could ya just up and casually plan and agree to a date with one of mah best friends right in front of me?"
  62. >Okay, when did the distance between you and the perving orange pony becoming nothing?
  63. >She is literally staring up at you right now, well glaring would be the best wording
  64. >Now you would take the sight serious, but you can't help but chuckle at how she is literally right in front of your groin right now
  65. >"This ain't funny yah hear? Ah was gonna invite you to the pond tomorrow Anon."
  66. >"You were? Well I appreciate the concern Applejack but, as you already know I can't ma-"
  67. >"B-But I was even going to cook us a lunch and if you weren't comfortable I was even going to invite the girls and the crusaders."
  68. >Wow, it sounds like she is grabbing at straws here, why does this mean so much to her you won't be able to tell
  69. >"I wouldn't be able to make it anyway Applejack, I don't have any swimming trunks."
  70. >"The heck is a swimming tunk? Ya don't need anything but yourself for a good ol' swim."
  71. >Time to muster up the best deadpan expression you can, because you know where she is going with this
  72. >"Applejack, I will not swim naked with you and the girls."
  73. >This time she seems to accept defeat but before she leaves she points up at you with a steady look
  74. >"Now Ah don't want to hear that any shenanigans happened at Rarity's tomorrow, I saw ya first Anon and Ah don't wany any other girl to have ya first."
  75. >And her hoof slides down your torso and yup, lignered over your crotch for a bit longer than it should have before she left
  76. >Maybe you should see how many bits you've saved up, it would be handy to move out, as soon as possible
  77. >Would be best to start looking tomorrow after Rarity's, who knows, maybe she knows of a nice neighbourhood that has no Applejack-like ponies
  78.  
  79.  
  80.  
  81. >Welcome to the interior of Rarity's shop/house/place where she eats, shits and sleeps
  82. >It was spotless and well sorted, which was to be expected of the high class pony
  83. >Although your attention is not on the look of the place, it is more so focused on the fact that you are currently standing in only your briefs as Rarity takes measurements and an unnervingly excited Twilight is jotting down notes
  84. >It would help if she didn't get her face near your cock, accidental boners would really suck right now
  85. >It would be a bit funny to boop her with it though, it would make you regret it later but for those brief seconds you'd be laughing
  86. >"Now darling I know you are nervous but I must insist that you keep still, this is of the utmost importance that I get your measurements down to the millimetre."
  87. >"Yes Anon, stay still for Rarity, I need you to keep still so that I can sketch a good diagram for this report to the princessess."
  88. >Well fuck your arse and call you Govener Sinclaire, Twilight isn't taking serious notes like you thought
  89. >Instead the tiny horse princess is licking her lips as she goes from drawing to eyeing every inch of your body
  90. >Jeez, it is like she was undressing you, except you're already down to your underwear
  91. >"Look, when you invited me over for clothes designing I did not expect to be stripped down and examined by both you and the Princess of Magic."
  92. >"Oh hush darling, Twilight was tasked with studying you and I invited her because seeing you like this would help with her reports to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
  93. >One roll of the eyes later you just begin to think about where you should move too
  94. >Hopefully away from Applejack, you almost had a small heart attack when you saw what seemed to be her hat at the window
  95. >She would have a fucking field day if she saw you right now
  96. >It had taken half an hour, half a fucking hour but you were finally sitting down, comfortably in clothes again
  97. >Despite how long it took to get your sizes Rarity quickly put together a few basic shirts and pants for you
  98. >Twilight left soon after, her excuse was that she had to get the report ready and that hr wings were feeling sore, her wings were up the entire time she was drawing, must still not be used to those things
  99. >So now here you are, with a newspaper and browsing through it to see if there was any places offering rent or board, but the peace and queit as enjoya-
  100. >"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FABRIC ORGANIZERS! YAY!~"
  101. >Does that bloody ability run in the family or something?
  102. >You watch in horror as the door to the boutique almost bursts open, and three little fillies come charging in
  103. >Just ignore them Anon, bring the newspaper back up to cover your face, you can't see them, they can't see yo-
  104. >"Hey mister Anon! What you got there?!"
  105. >Looking down you see the three little girls have for some reason forgot the reason they destroyed Rarity's front door and are now staring up at you with their big eyes
  106. >Stop you're staring little girls, you might go and kill this poor human
  107. >"I'm just looking for a new place, and possibly a new job is all."
  108. >"W-Why Anon? Don't ya like living with mah family and me?"
  109. >No, don't look so sad, please little filly or you might just be hu- ah screw it
  110. >You pick up the little yellow horse and hug her gently
  111. >"Oh Applebloom, there's no problem with you or your family."
  112. >Except your older sister, who you are stil sure was watching you earlier
  113. >"I just think I need some space to myself to call my own, and not be a bother to your family."
  114. >Applebloom looks up at you, some tears in her eyes but at least she is wearing a small smile on her face
  115. >"C-Can Ah at least come and visit ya sometime Anon?"
  116. >"Why would I ever say no to you Applebloom? Of course you can come and visit me."
  117. >You even nuzzle the little thing, which cheered her up greatly as she started giggling before you set her down
  118. >And remember that there are two other crusaders there who saw the entire thing
  119. >Clearing your throat you glance back at the newspaper and sigh
  120. >"Well I would invite you if I could find a new place and job, sadly most of the houses have been taken or is out of my price range and most of these jobs requires magic or flight."
  121. >Curse these standards, you are a simple Earth Human who don't need no wings or horn to do simple tasks
  122. >But now you're feeling very worried since it means that you might still be stuck with Applejack if you didn't find a place soon
  123. >Leaning back in your chair you stare down at the Crusaders and heave out a heavy sigh as they continue to watch you
  124. >"I'm sorry girls, I didn't mean to make things take a sad turn, I just wasn't expecting to find nothing."
  125. >The girls look to each other and then back to you, it looks like they want to help but what could they do?
  126. >"Actually Mister Anon, if you really want a new place then I got a good idea!"
  127. >Everyone turns to look at Scootaloo who is currently standing there proudly with a big smile on her face
  128. >"You've got an idea?"
  129. >"Hey now! I can have good ideas too, and this one is really good!"
  130. >Okay now she is just looking plain smug, what brilliant idea did this flightless pegasus come up with
  131. >"How good are you at cooking Anon?"
  132. >"Anon can cook real good! Have ya ever tried his pasta before?"
  133. >Well you weren't going to toot your own horn but you were decent at cooking, had to at least learn that when you lived alone back on Earth
  134. >"Excellent then! Don't worry Anon I'm sure that I can find you a job AND a place to stay!"
  135. >Scootaloo huddles the ther two fillies close and they whisper amongst themselves before they all cheer loudly and leave the boutique
  136. >Well, that was interesting, well you can't rely on a little girl to get you both of those, that would be ridiculous
  137.  
  138.  
  139. >The Sun is has now gone down, now if you were to relate the Sun to being Celestia you might be laughing right now
  140. >However the thing you see in front of the Apple Family house is making you feel anything but fun
  141. >What you see is the lovely thunderthighed mare that is Applejack hauling in some kind of chest into the house
  142. >If her personality was different then you would have thought nothing of it, but since Applejack has become more aggresive with her 'flirting' with you as of late you cringe at the sight
  143. >The only thing that mare has going for her is her body, damn being stuck here for as long as you have has made you lust after the pony body
  144. >Oh well, something more to talk to Psychiatrist Twilight then, she and the other Princesses might be happpy to hear that shit
  145. >Swallowing your reluctance you wait a few minutes outside and out of sight before heading on in and quickly making your way to your attic bedroom
  146. >No Apples saw you so you should be fine, getting in and locking the door you slump down on your makeshift cloth bed and groan
  147. >Time to relax and spend the rest of the day nappi-
  148. >"Hey Mister Anon! Applebloom, Scootaloo and I are here. We've got something really neat to show you!"
  149. >"I swear I might just go sew you and your sister's mouths shut."
  150. >Grumbling low enough so that they don't hear you, you unlock and open the door for them
  151. >When you open the door you see the smiling faces of the Cutie Mark Crusaders along with Applejack who is behind them with a smirk
  152. >.............clever girl
  153. >"Well howdy Anon, Ah didn't see ya come in, and the girls here just told me that they had to see you, some kind of Crusder emergency."
  154. >"Yeah! Oh boy Anon, I have the greatest news for you, now I know I am not the greatest because of Rainbow Dash but I am pretty great."
  155. >You just deadpan at Scootaloo, you already hear enough about how cool Rainbow Dash is from the mare herself whenever she comes to bother you while you work
  156. >The only reason you haven't flicked her on the muzzle is because she keeps Applejack away during those long hours
  157. >Seeing that you are not going to be praising her in any form Scootaloo coughs nervously
  158. >"Uh well, yeah I guess I should say why I am great first, hehe."
  159. >Clearing her throat you and everypony else in the room watch with varying degrees of interest
  160. >For some reason Applejack seems the most keen on this besides you, the fuck does she think Scootaloo's news is?
  161. >"Are you free tomorrow by any chance? Because if you are then I have the most coolest job for a colt like you!"
  162. >Luckily Granny Smith was kind enough to let you have two days off, bless that poor, old and forgetful mare
  163. >"Yes, I am free, but I am just concerned about what this job is all about?"
  164. >"Ah'd like to hear about this job Anon is getting too, this isn't going to interfere with his work at the farm is it?"
  165. >And Applejack just had to be here, well the cat is out of the bag now. Time to just flat out tell her then and get this over with
  166. >"Well Applejack, I was thinking of getting my own place and a new job, it's not that I am ungrateful for your family's help, but I just feel like it is time to strike out on my own."
  167. >And not live in the same house as a mare who can overpower you and is not hiding the way she wants your human body
  168. >"Now that is poppycock Anon, ya should stay here with us, ya always got a job and home here."
  169. >Nope, this here human has made up his mind and will definately get his arse out of this place
  170. >"I say that sounds like a wonderful idea."
  171. >You all turn to see Granny Smith slowly making her way up the stairs to the entrance of your room where you all are
  172. >"I remember back in the day when a mare or stallion could go out and live their own life if they wanted to, why do you think I raised Big Mac the way I have Applejack?"
  173. >Yes, you could kiss the wrinky old mare, you just might at this point consiidering the way she has saved your ass twice now
  174. >"It's okay girls, if he does well tomorrow he can get a job AND a pace to live?"
  175. >"What do you mean kiddo?"
  176. >"You'll have to wait until tomorrow Anon!"
  177. >Cut to the next day, you're currently sipping on some coffee as you make your way to the address Scootaloo gave you yesterday
  178. >You actually did give Granny Smith a kiss on the cheek when you left this morning, it was funny seeing her blush before she gave your shoulder a mean hook and told you to skedaddle
  179. >Applejack didn't speak to you when you passed by her this morning, so things are already looking up
  180. >Okay, so the next house over is hers then, time to go and see what it i-
  181. >Holy fuck that is almost twice the size of the Apple family's Barn!
  182. >This can't possibly be the right place
  183. >"Hey Anon! I'm glad you could make it!"
  184. >And here comes Scootaloo riding her scooter out of her own house and stopping in front of you
  185. >"Heh, pretty cool huh? I don't usually tell other ponies where I live, I don't want to be like that brat Diamond."
  186. >Okay then, this little filly has somehow become higher up on your list of respectful ponies than Rainbow Dash
  187. >"Holy hell Scootaloo, I wasn't expecting this, but I guess you're going to lead me to where this job is huh?"
  188. >"What do you mean? You're already here, come on in!"
  189. >What? this job interview is at her place? This is starting to feel a bit iffy now
  190. >Nonetheless you are now entering her 'humble' home, the interior is nicely decorated, nothing too fancy but it still puts any other house you've been inside of to shame
  191. >The floor is so clean you could eat off of it
  192. >"Whoa, you're a big motherfucker aren't you?"
  193. >Walking into the foyer, is Spitfire, leader of the Wonderbolts and the one mare that Rainbow Dash never shuts the fuck up about
  194. >"Uh hey there, I didn't know Scootaloo had you as a sister."
  195. >Spitfire chuckles at you and even Scootaloo begins to snicker, the fuck did you say that was so funny?
  196. >"Little bit of a flatterer huh? I guess that has earned you some bonus points then."
  197. >Bonus points? Wait, your cunning human intelligence is telling you that this might have something to do with your interview
  198. >"Now big fella, if you can cook and watch after my daughter as well as you look then you have got yourself a job and room."
  199. >Wait, daughter?
  200. >"Wait, what do you mean daughter?"
  201. >"Scootaloo honey, you did tell this Anonymous that he was being interviewed for being your foalsitter right?"
  202. >Scootaloo looks away from Spitfire sheepishly and laughs awkwardly as her mother stares down at her
  203. >"Well I uh, I was going to tell him but I got too excited and well one thing happened and then I went for a scooter ride and then, I GOTTA GO!"
  204. >Realizing that she might have been in some form of trouble she hopped onto her scooter and sed off down a hallway
  205. >Spitfire, who you guess is actually Scootaloo's mother groans and smiles wryly at you
  206. >"So yeah, that is the filly you're going to have to deal with if I think you're capable and if you accept the job."
  207. >"Sorry, I didn't expect you to be her mother, and I didn't know that this was going to be a sitter job."
  208. >"A sitter job with a swank ass room mind you, and don't worry about that sister comment, always good to know I still look young and hot, even to nonponies."
  209. >Oh please, don't be another Applejack, you don't need another mare who is way too forward
  210. >"Come on, follow me and I'll show you, I might uh, need to get a bigger bed just in case though."
  211. >One small walk down a few hallways later you are shown into your possible living space
  212. >It contains a simple bed and a door that leads to your own bathroom, the whole set up is bigger than the one you had at Applebloom's though
  213. >But the bed is certainly big enough for you, maybe Spitfire prefers her employees have a bigger bed for comfort?
  214. >"Well here we are, the kitchen is free for you to access but please don't make a mess or I might dock your pay big boy."
  215. >She nudged you in the sides with her hoof, for a mare who just flies around she is pretty strong
  216. >"And be careful of my cleaners too, those mares double as my security force here too."
  217. >Well, that's good to know, time to add 'don't piss off the cleaners' to your list of new responsibilities.
  218. >This job is looking more appealing the longer you stay here, look after a foal who still has school and you get a pretty nice place to sleep and free food
  219. >"Thanks for the warning boss, I think I might just take the job!"
  220. >"You don't have to call me boss, just my name would be fine, good thing for me that I don't have to introduce you to the filly you'd be sitting."
  221. >Wait, I actually expected a bit more, that is it? No testing my abilities to see if I can look after your kid?"
  222. >"Scootaloo and her two friends spoke highly of you when they came to me yesterday, if you have her repsect then I'll be willing to give you a shot."
  223. >Okay, it is official, Scootaloo is way cooler than Rainbow at this point in your life in Equestria
  224.  
  225. >One box hahaha, two boxes hahaha, three boxes hahaha."
  226. >"Uh Mister Anon? What are you doing?"
  227. >Sudden Scootaloo watching you place boxes into your new room, how did she sneak up on you?
  228. >Uh, I was just, repeating the words of a wise old sage from my world, it's a sort of ritual we learn when we're young."
  229. >Yeah, that's the ticket, just keep playing things off as a human thing and no one will question anything afterwards
  230. >"Really? It seems a little weird to laugh like that after each one, don't you think?"
  231. >Curses small horse with wings, okay just move on Anon, you can just divert the conversation and never bring this back up
  232. >Well anyway Scootaloo, is there any reason you're here to see your sitter the day before he starts sitting on you?"
  233. >"You're not going to actually try to sit on me are you? That isn't some kind of human thing to do is it?"
  234. >What? No, I'd crush the life out of you with my fantastic human butt."
  235. >You don't shake your ass at the young filly cause that would get you in trouble but you do let out a small kek
  236. >"You're weird Anon, but like a funny weird."
  237. >Yes, get a good impression of the human Scootaloo, he might even make you some stuff using that waffle iron that had his attention when Spitfire showed him the kitchen
  238. >That's good to hear buddy, now I am just going to ask this just in case, but would I be required to accompany you when you go crusading?"
  239. >"Nah! You don't need to accomba- accompapy, ARGH! You don't need to go with me when the girls and I go crusading."
  240. >Ah good, means that you probaly won't break a limb or two with them, how they haven't broken anything is beyond you
  241.  
  242. >'You don't need to come with me and the girls when we go crusading' she says
  243. >'We're only going to try to earn our 'human hunter cutie marks' they all shout in unison
  244. >Be Anon, wait hold on, let's change that to be more appropriate
  245. >Be a very disgruntled Anon on your first day on the job
  246. >Where for some reason Scootlaoo invited her two friends over when they had no school
  247. >It was nice to see Applebloom again, you even gave her a sibling like hug and pat on the back
  248. >You're still a little indfferent to the younger sister of Rarity, the one known only as Sweetie Belle
  249. >The little filly, much like her sister, keeps interrupting your thinking processes, so you've decided to keep a steady eye on her
  250. >Ain't no on going to fuck around in your head or mess with your thoughts but you
  251. >All four of you were in the lounge room, Spitfire had gone off to work early but she left a note saying that one of the 'cleaners' will soon be coming over, just in case
  252. >Despite taking the job you had no idea how to actually foalsit for a small talking equine, let alone three of them
  253. >And all three of them were looking up to you, expecting you to say something or even set down some ground rules
  254. >So being the totally in charge man that you were you decided that you should get the most important thing done first
  255. >Food stuff, seriously you've been too busy getting ready and preparing yourself that you skipped breakfast, and your belly is rumbling like Godzilla
  256. >The three fillies however, with their bellies already sated for food all informed you of such and then proceeded to tell you that that was boring
  257. >To which one of them, you can't remember who at this moment decided to voice a thought, "Hey, is there such a thing as a human hunting cutiemark?"
  258. >That was over fourty minutes ago, you are curently resting in the kitchen now
  259. >Even though it isn't a huge mansion, the girls would not expect that the hungry human had gone to the kitchen to hide
  260. >"Hello there, helping yourself to a light snack are we? Fascinating."
  261. >Well shi- wait, that voice sounded different, and not childlike in any manner
  262. >Turning on the spot you are greeted to the sight of a mare with green and mint like mane colour with a similar colour for her coat
  263. >This mare was also decked out in a fanciful black suit that covered her body and was sporting a pair of shades to concel her big eyes
  264. >Shaking yourself out of the surprise of her sudden arrival you clear your throat and attempt to not look like someone who had just ate several toasted cheese sandwiches
  265. >"I assume lady Spirtfire has informed you of my appearance today, I am Lyra, one of Lady Spitfire's cleaners."
  266. >She speaks in such a calm and collected tone that you can't help but smile and feel a little bit safer, she is part of Spitfire's 'bodyguards'
  267. >Well it's nice to meet you Lyra, you can call me Anon and I-"
  268. >As you were speaking to ehr you extended your hand to offer a han- uh hoofshake?
  269. >But before you could finish Lyra pounced forward and took hold of your hand in her hooves and seemed to be greatly fascinated by them
  270. >"Oh colt! So these are the real things aren't they?! I mean I've maybe seen you once or twice in town and always wondered, but these feel soooo good to touch for real!"
  271. >Okaaaay then, all manner or pretense that this mare was a cool bodyguard has been thrown out the window and stomped on as she is now staring quite intensely at your hand
  272. >And why does it feel like the back of your head was hit by a net?
  273. >Tearing your hand out of the cyan mare's hoofy grasp you see the Cutie Mark Crusaders standing there, all three of them grinning with pride
  274. >Which would be rather cute if they didn't just 'capture' yo-
  275. >"Yay! I told you the tiny net was a good idea!"
  276. >I will throw you throw the wall little white pony if you keep interrupting my thoughts
  277. >"Well I only said it wouldn't work because it's a net, and it's tiny!"
  278. >"Stop bickerin' to yourselves girls, we done got ourselves a human to wrangle!"
  279. >Well, as if that would be possible, the net is really only covering your face, you can still move the rest of your body
  280. >"Sorry about that colt, I stumbled upon these three when I arrived and I was enlisted into the 'Human Hunting Brigade', no hard feelings I hope?"
  281. >Okay then, scratch one weird cyan mare off of your list of ponies to avoid
  282. >Uh you girls do know I can still move my hands and legs right?"
  283. >To prove your point you try to distract the tiny horses with vigorous jazz hands as you slowly back out of the room
  284. >"Hey he's right! Sweetie Belle you told us the net would wo-"
  285. >"Uh Scootaloo? He's currently getting away."
  286. >And that is your cue to throw the net at them and run away
  287.  
  288.  
  289. >After several hours of running around and more than one occasion of you almost pissing yourself as the fillies jumped out from a corner
  290. >Is this what your job is going to be like? Eh, it might do some good for your fitness
  291. >You and the three crusaders are all currently lounging around on one of the biggest couches you've ever seen
  292. >Looking out the window you see that it is getting close to the late afternoon
  293. >Or at least you think so, you've never been good with time
  294. >Luckily they all agreed that hunting you would not go well for them, well that was only after you bribed them to stop with ice cream
  295. >So here you are, a human sitting with three fillies, all of you eating your own bowl of ice cream
  296. >Although how there is an apple flavoured ice cream in this world still escapes you
  297. >"Thanks a lot for playing with us Mr Anon, we had a lot of fun chasing you around!"
  298. >Huh, the white coated filly who is currently resting her head on your left leg didn't interrupt you this time
  299. >Special head pats for you Sweetie Belle
  300. >Just don't make it a habit okay?"
  301. >"We weren't playing Sweetie Belle, we were trying to get our cutie marks!"
  302. >Scootaloo wears a pout as she crosses her forehooves, apparently she already finished her rainbow ice cream
  303. >It takes you a moment to remember that you're meant to be her sitter, uh wait would an actual sitter get chased by the kids they're looking after?
  304. >You shrug as you chalk it up to 'magical horse land' bullshit again as you just chuckle
  305. >All four of you hear the front door opening, well three since Scootaloo immediately bolted to the door
  306. >"Welcome home Mommy! It's so good to see you, the girls are here and we eve played with Anon a lot today!"
  307. >Oi, what happened to 'getting your cutie marks'? Well maybe she can't lie to Spitfire
  308. >You have to stifle a giggle as Spitfire enters the room with Scootaloo wrapped around one of her front hoovs, hanging on as the mare walks
  309. >"I see my daughter and her friends had a fun day, however who said you could have ice cream?"
  310. >Oh shit, she is fixing you a gaze that more than likely means 'you in some knee deep shit'
  311. >"Hun, why don't you take your friends to your room and show them your new scooter? I have a few things to discuss with your sitter."
  312. >All three fillies left the room, with Scootaloo talking very excitedly about her new scooter while Applebloom rolls her eyes a little
  313. >"Ah bet it looks exactly like the old one."
  314. >Whelp, now it's just you and the mare across the room from you
  315. >Actually no wait, she's getting closer
  316. >Oh hey Spitfire is directly in front of you now with a blank expression
  317. >Before you could even speak she breaks out into a huge grin and pats the top of your head
  318. >"Good work colt, not often I have a sitter who would go through the effort of playing with Scoots."
  319. >Uh what?
  320. >Uh what?"
  321. >Spitfire just giggles as she takes the spot next to you and sighs, the exhaustion of her work day now evident on her face as she relaxes
  322. >"Every other sitter I've looked at has usually been a mare or stallion who took one look at my darling daughter and sent her off to do her own thing while they tried to steal from me."
  323. >Ouch, that was not what you expected to hear from her
  324. >"But hey, a stallion who knows how to handle my daughter and her two friends? I'll say I've hit the jackpot."
  325. >Don't blush and smile happily right now, don't let her see it, you can totally handle compiments and praise
  326. >"Aww, is somepony blushing?"
  327. >Fucking shit on a stick!
  328. >And Spitfire is just laughing right now, heaving out a sigh and feeling slightly embarrassed you lean back into the couch and look at your boss/landlord
  329. >Seriously though, I did a good job? From the look you gave me I thought I was up shit creek without a boat."
  330. >"You did a fine job for your first day, and since you're living with us now why don't you come shopping with me? I'll see about getting yours and Scoot's favourites cooked for tonight."
  331. >This causes you to laugh now as you stand up and stretch your tired body
  332. >Sure mother, I'll be so happy to get my favourite treat tonight."
  333. >Pleased with the amount of sarcasm you put into that you turn back and see Spitfire staring at you with a wide grin
  334. >"Mother huh? Don't get too cocky Anonymmous or I might have to punish you."
  335. >You just shrug and do one final stretch
  336. >Uh huh, well if we're getting grub we better go now or all the stalls will be closed."
  337. >As you're putting your shoes on Spitfire finally moves off of the couch as she watches you, muttering under her breathe
  338. >"Hmm, I hit the jackpot indeed, and to think my own daughter brought him to me."
  339.  
  340. >Ah nice and cold air, you are so much better than hot and dry air
  341. >A few of the mares stare at you as you continue to wear a wide smile on your face as you walk along next to a 'disguised' Spitfire
  342. >She is literally wearing a trenchcoat, sunglasses and a hat
  343. >"There's the human, but who is that mare he's with?"
  344. >"I have no idea but I just can't seem to figure out who it is for the life of me."
  345. >If that's how well the disguise works you might as well put on a fake moustache and pretend to be Celestia
  346. >For all you know, it might actually fucking work
  347. >Either way, first on the list of shit to get was Scootaloo's favourite
  348. >Apparently the little filly was a huge sucker for a triple hay burger meal complete with rainbow hay fries, and don't forget about the toy
  349. >How they hell they manage to get hay in the shape of a meat patty and how they cook it on a grill is beyond you
  350. >Before going to get your food however Spitfire decided she needed something as well
  351. >So now here you are, holding a kind of greasy Jolly Pony meal bag as you sit on the only chair in this sports store
  352. >They should really add more fucking chairs to places like this for people like you
  353. >Plus you're getting a few looks from a few of the mares in here, in fact there are only mares in this store
  354. >You at least figured you'd see that roided up looking stallion in here
  355. >Instead you just see a few fillies take the balls out of the shelves and kick it to each other, before they were stopped by the staff
  356. >Soon Spitfire, oh sorry, 'Hotwings' finally came back and is holding up a pair dumbells in her wings
  357. >Physics, physics please tell me why Spitfire's wings aren't completely broken if they're holding those things?
  358. >You sure took your time Spi-uh Hotwings, do you really need those?"
  359. >Spitfire just chuckles at your slip as she sets the dumbells down
  360. >"Nah, just wanted to see if this store had any up and coming fliers, it's like a secret scouting thing we do in our spare time."
  361. >You come to stores like this to scout? Why not go to a gym or running track? Or whatever a running track for pegasuses count as."
  362. >"That's true but you never know when you might see a few pegasi who are pretty darn good at a sports store."
  363. >If you say so, but is it alright if we can get going now? I'm getting bored out of my mind just sitting here and Scootaloo's burger is getting cold."
  364. >"We probably should have bought that last huh?"
  365. >Nodding in agreement you wonder why you both decided to get this one first
  366. >Whatever, finally standing back up you see Spitfire turn the corner to leave the store, only to immediately come falling back, her hat and sunglasses falling to the floor with her
  367. >You run to Spitfire and put the disguise back on, but you're too late as the pegasus she bumped into jumps to her hooves
  368. >"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can't bucking believe my luck!"
  369. >"Urgh, I can't believe my bucking luck."
  370.  
  371.  
  372. >Standing there, well standing but slowly rising into the air is the one and only Rainbow Dash
  373. >And she is currently babbling about her idol or some such nonsense
  374. >It's gotten to the point that she is speaking too fast you fear her lips might just fly off
  375. >Oh if only they could, you can't really stand this mare for the life of you
  376. >"HolybuckIcan'tbuckingbelievethatyou'reherelikerightinfrontofmeandohmygoshIthinkIjustcreamedmyselfbutIdon'tcareaboutthatsinceyou'rehereandohmygoshdidImentionthatItotallyloveandidolizeyou?!"
  377. >Or maybe you might just rip it off yourself, it'd be like tearing into a marshmellow, soft but oh so satisfying to do
  378. >Well at least you''re not alone in this ordeal, Spitfire is trying to ush the two of you out of the store but the Rainbow fan keeps following us
  379. >Huh, now that you think about it, Spitfire's daughter Scootaloo fangirls over Rainbow Dash who fangasms over Spitfire
  380. >Why Scootaloo thinks this mare is so awesome is beyond you, from what you know she is said to be the Element of Loyalty
  381. >But again from what you've heard she's had to keep relearning what loyalty means over and over again
  382. >So Scootaloo idolizes a mare who want to get into sports and she might be very unloyal to others?
  383. >She should go into sports instead of trying to get into the Wonderbolts.
  384. >"OhwaitisthatAnon?Areyoutwogoingoutorishelikeoneofyourcolttoys?Ohboywhatishelikeinbed?Nowait!WhatareYOUlikeinbedSpitfire?KnowingthatwouldgreatlyhelpmySpitfirecrossDaringDoofanfiction!"
  385. >Or maybe even one of those auctioneers or people who read disclaimers in ads
  386. >"Uh look here Rainbow Dash, I've actually got some important Wonderbolt stuff to take care of, can't show any of the fans okay?"
  387. >Wow Spitfire actually cringed when she talked to her, but it seems Rainbow Dash is too lost in her excitement to notice
  388. >But it apparently works as Rainbow Dash just nods and hops around on the spot before she squeals and leaves
  389. >Did she fart? The entire place smells really weird!
  390. >Spitfire notices the smell too as her nose crunches up something fierce and shakes her head
  391. >"Sorry about that Anonymous, she's a little.......much."
  392. >Oh I know, but I think I lost my appetite from all of that, I just hope that Scootaloo's burger won't smell."
  393. >"Toss it, I'll go get her another one and get you something too while we're there, I know you'll be hungry for something later."
  394. >Heh, mother's intuition? Well I'll take you up on that offer and at worst I eat it for breakfast tomorrow."
  395.  
  396.  
  397. >It took you roughly about another thirty minutes before you and Spitfire arrive back home
  398. >Upon entering the loungeroom you see a very excited looking Scootaloo sitting on the couch and patting it with her forehooves rapidly
  399. >Unable to contain herself anymore she leaps off of the couch and snatches the slightly greasy bag out from your hands
  400. >Not waiting any time she almost tore the wrapper off with her hooves, it was pretty interesting to watch
  401. >Spitfire just lets out a soft sigh and hooves you another bag
  402. >"I guess we're eating on the floor tonight, come on Anonymous, I hope you don't mind if I toss some hoofball onto the screen."
  403. >Taking the bag Spitfire claps...uh clops? Her hooves together and within seconds Lyra is walking into the room, sporting a fancy black suit jacket with an undershirt that is the same colour as her fur
  404. >"You called for me Lady Spitfire? What is it that you require of me?"
  405. >Still a bit cautious of this mare you park your ass on the carpeted floor and see that Scootaloo is scooting on over to you
  406. >"Oh boy Anon! I forgot that the game is on tonight, it's going to be so cool!"
  407. >Five seconds later and you now have Scootaloo sitting next to you, almost bouncing on the spot as she takes a bite of her rather large burger
  408. >Her face makes it seem like she has tasted pure happiness in the form of the burger as you hear a set of hooves walking out of the room
  409. >Looking over your shoulder you see Spitfire has sent Lyra away and is now setting down her disguise
  410. >Huh, now that you see it in this lighting she actually looks quite toned........for a pony, if that makes any sense
  411. >Despite being fit she appears to have a lush tush, which both piques your interest and confuses you
  412. >However though what you weren't expecting was to witness Spitfire casually toss the garments over to the couch and join you and her daughter on the floor in front of her rather large television
  413. >"Feels so good to be home, don't have to worry about keeping appearances"
  414. >Soon the yellow mare is lounging on her side with her ass pointed in your direction, not what you were expecting but it is her house after all
  415. >"What's the matter Anonymous? Aren't you going to dig in?"
  416. >Your eyes still slightly glued to Spitfire's flank you notice her wiggle it as she spoke before snickering at you
  417. >"Yeah Anon! Come on, try your hay burger, if you love it I know you're going to love their pancake burgers too!"
  418. >And thanks to Scootaloo you pry your eyes away from your boss' teasing rear and stare down at your greasy bag
  419. >Stupid Sexy Spitfire"
  420. >Muttering under your breathe you soon begin to eat your food as the three of you begin to watch hoofball
  421. >Apparently Hoofball is just soccer, but with ponies, and the game is played on a three levelled playing field due to there being pegasi and unicorns
  422. >Each team had three smaller teams, one for each pony race that would play on a different level and the score was the total number of goals scored by each team on the different levels
  423. >The 'Ponyville Players' seemed to have a pretty damn good Earth Pony team but their unicorn section was sorely lacking any decent players
  424. >It seems needlessly complicated to you for just a simple game of soccer, but seeing as how the different races would have advantages you figured this was pretty cool still
  425. >Somehow in ten minutes of watching Scootaloo had migrated from the floor to your lap without you even noticing
  426. >You hear Spitfire chuckling next to you, apparently she noticed the same time you did
  427. >"Are you feeling comfortable in there Scoots? I didn't know you got so attatched to your new sitter so quickly."
  428. >Part of you expected an embarrassed reply from the young pegasus but instead she just giggled and curled up in your lap like a cat
  429. >"But it's soooo warm right here mum, I could fall asleep right he-"
  430. >Did she just go from bubbling with energy to straight asleep on your lap just now?
  431. >"Careful there Anonymous, don't move too much or you might wake her, although I'm sure if it was me there I'd stay awake for sure."
  432. >And now you new boss is just teasing you like your old one, but for some reason you can't help but laugh at her comment as you softly pet Scootaloo's head feeling like you should talk back
  433. >Are you sure you could Spitfire? I'm sure you'd fall lay down and fall asleep on my lap all cute like, just like Scootaloo right now."
  434. >Your comment met with silence you briefly wonder if you said something wrong until you feel a hoof softly jab your shoulder
  435. >"Haha, very funny mister, but as a word of warning Anonymous, if you don't finish your food you're going to attract ants into my place."
  436. >Feeling a little bit sheepish the two of you continue to watch Hoofball in silence, well relative silence as the wrapper for your burger makes a lot of crinkling sounds
  437.  
  438. >Foalsitting Scootaloo, was a hell of a lot easier than you expected
  439. >You had expected to have to act like a personal maid or butler for the little filly
  440. >But instead you just had to look after her when she wasn't at school or with her mother
  441. >So most of the weekdays were practically a free day just for you to enjoy
  442. >You had gotten to know a bit more about Lyra as you chat with her at 'work'
  443. >Well, your chats with her usually being having some snacks in the kitchen while she goes on and on about this mare she's into
  444. >She was a pretty cool gal and you were chill enough around each other that you contantly make candy jokes to her
  445. >To which she laughs, delivers a firm smack with her hoof to your shoulder and tell you that you should meet this Bonbon one day to see what she keeps going on about
  446. >It would be interesting to say the least, would be a good excuse to chow down on sweet, sweet teeth killers
  447. >Spitfire, has and still is like an anomaly to you
  448. >She radiates that 'hot mother who you can't tell is flirting with you or just messing with you' aura
  449. >You thought that shit stayed in fiction and bad pornos, then again you ARE now living in a land of talking ponies
  450. >Not to mention that you had expected her to be a straight up asshole, considering how wealthy she was
  451. >But she was very relaxed and was a good pony to converse with at nights once Scootaloo was tucked into bed
  452. >You haven't seen much of Applejack since your move, although when you did come across her at the market she launched herself at you and hugged you tightly
  453. >A little too tightly, it hurt like fuck but she still seemed upset that you had just gone and left the Apple family's care
  454. >Although you were cautious she suckered you into coming over every now and then for dinner, for Granny and Applebloom's sake she said
  455. >And it turned out surprisingly well, Applejack made no attempts at you, it felt just like the old days where Applejack was just a really good friend
  456. >Still feeling well you were surprised when she offered to walk you back to Spitfire's, when you both arrived you were unmolested and still quite happy
  457. >Applejack's orange coated cheeks turned as red as her brother's when you thought she would enjoy a kiss to her cheek
  458. >That smile that she wore made you almost forget about the ways she tried to get into your pants when you lived with her.....almost
  459. >Scootaloo had grown rather fond of you rather quickly
  460. >More and more the little filly has been asking your opinion about things, getting you to read to her at night
  461. >For some reason when she's not with her friends around you she acts like a little angel
  462. >Now you wouldn't go as far as to say she looks up to you like she does Rainbow Dash but she holds you in high regard
  463. >Speaking of Rainbow Dash...
  464. >"Get back here and tell me what Spitfire's favourite food is!"
  465. >She was currently chasing you while you were going over the past couple of days in your head
  466. >The blue pegasus hasn't appeared since you and Spitfire saw her at the sports store
  467. >While you were going for a walk to the markets to get some food she stepped out from around the corner with a glare
  468. >To which she then graphically explained as to why she has been absent
  469. >Apparently since she was inspired by her other idol Daring Do, she had picked up writing
  470. >And not just any writing, the kind you'd find somewhere on the internet
  471. >With some kind of main character who for some unknown or poorly given reason, is super cool and is totally popular
  472. >The kind that was simply poorly written with plently of plot holes (heh), badly fleshed out characters and just the most unreadable sentences ever
  473. >She even told you that her works are so 'awesome' that even Twilight couldn't handle them
  474. >And by that she means that Twilight was not awesome enough to even grasp what she was reading
  475. >If only you could slap her face with the writefag's guild
  476. >But after she had gone into great detail as to why she wasn't around she now got around to why she was around you today
  477. >She never expected you, or well, anyone who was close to Spitfire be someone she knew
  478. >Proving to you that she knows jack shit about who Scootaloo's mother is
  479. >And somehow the little fanfilly got it into her head that clearly you would know EVERYTHING about Spitfire, and she meant it too
  480. >As you round a corner to try to get away from her you look back and see that she was already closing in
  481. >"Oh come on! At least give me a hint as to what she wears to bed!"
  482. >Probably nothing, cause ponies wear nothing almost all of the fucking time
  483.  
  484.  
  485. >It has now been two weeks since you started sitting for little Scootaloo
  486. >So far your opinions on quite a few ponies has changed and even then added some ponies to your list of friends
  487. >Currently Scootaloo is at school but you have to go pick her up in an hour
  488. >So for now you're lounging on your ass on one of the couches, it would be a restful moment of silence, but...
  489. >"Oh my gosh Anon, you would not believe what happened to me yesterday!"
  490. >While you're thankful it isn't Rainbow, having a mint unicorn lounging on your lap asking for belly rubs and talking REALLY loudly when you're right there is beginning to get under your skin
  491. >Hmm? What is it Lyra? Did you finally work up the courage and get a chance at Bon Bon's tasty treat?"
  492. >Your chuckle was short lived as Lyra softly hit you with a hoof, but she was grinning all the while
  493. >"Hmm, nah but you were pretty close!"
  494. >Wait, really? Everytime she talked about this mare it was usually 'she has a great butt' or 'gee I wonder how she keeps her mane looking so damn fine' or something along those lines and sometimes in between
  495. >Your curiosity winning over the annoyance of Lyra's laying about, you softly stroke her exposed tummy
  496. >So? What did happen? I'm pretty sure that I am dying to know of your escapades."
  497. >You could see that she was aiming for another hit but the power of your hand on her belly persuaded her not to
  498. >"Well, so there I was, doing my totally hip and cool thing of sitting on the bench like you do."
  499. >You really want to point out to her that it isn't that cool but you hold it in as she continues
  500. >"But then strolls by Bon Bon, she took one look at me and did you know what she said?"
  501. >Uh, why are you sitting like the hooooooman?"
  502. >For the life of you, you still can't understand why some ponies can't get pronouncing 'human' correctly, oh well more ammo for you to make them feel embarrassed
  503. >"No siree, she asked me if I was comfortable sitting like that, after telling her it was fine she nodded her head and walked off, she was concerned for me."
  504. >She is swooning over that? Oh honey, I hope you don't get crushed when or if you ask out your crush
  505. >"As much as I love gossiping as the next colt, I'm sure that you have to get going and pick up Scootaloo, don't ya?"
  506. >Shrugging you glance at the nearby clock
  507. >I've got about another hou-twenty minutes?! Where the fuck did the time go? And why didn't you tell me sooner?"
  508. >Lyra hops off of you with a certain cat like grace as she flashes you a shit eating grin
  509. >"It's not part of my job description to help you with yours."
  510.  
  511. >Seventeen minutes later you've managed to book it from Spitfire's all the way down to Ponyville Elementary
  512. >Right now you're stuck next to a few parents as they await to pick up their kid after school is out
  513. >"Aww you seem out of breathe dear, would you like to partake of some of my water?"
  514. >Still panting quite a bit, gee you certainly got lazy since you left the Apple farm, you see a stallion holding out a water bottle to you
  515. >Smiling you take the bottle and take a few sips before returning it to its' brown coated owner
  516. >T-thanks, I really needed that, uh sorry I didn't quite catch your name."
  517. >"Oh how positively rude of me to not mention it earlier dear, my name is Filthy Rich, but a lot of the ponies here prefer to call me Mr. Rich."
  518. >You find yourself staring at this guy with a deadpan expression, clearly you're still trying to process if this guy is filthy, rich or filthy rich.....maybe all three
  519. >"Something wrong my dear? You look as if you've heard something awful, oh I do hope you haven't heard any of those bad rumors about me."
  520. >Huh? Bad rumors?"
  521. >"I'm sure you know the ones, the rumors that say I like to double dip my crackers into the dip, that I once ate a whole tub of ice cream because I felt like it, or even the rumor that I once bought sixteen scarves because it was chilly."
  522. >Whoa little pony, calm down, besides who even buys that many scarves anyway?
  523. >No, uh honestly those don't see like that bad of rumors to me, and I am still just adjusting to the names of ponies is all."
  524. >For some reason this makes the pony smile wider than you've ever seen
  525. >Part of you briefly imagines him unhinging his jaw and eating the school......that is a weird image to think about
  526. >"Oh so you understand the struggle as well huh?! Oh I am so glad to finally meet some other colt who understands me the way I understand myself!"
  527. >Now this guy isn't making too much sense, but then again not much has made to much sense in this land
  528. >I guess? To be honest I've been here for only a year and I still learn new things about this place and the ponies here."
  529. >"It's all okay dear, I know what it is like to be a bit of an outcast, not knowing what others are saying behind your back, if you ever want to talk about your feelings then just waltz your sweet behind on down to my estate."
  530. >Filthy continues to smile and honestly you find it a little weird but at least he could possibly be someone you could vent to, if you needed to
  531. >Okay then, thanks for the offer I gue-"
  532. >"Hello Mr. Anonymous!"
  533. >God dammit Sweetie Belle
  534. >"Oh! Hello to you too Mr. Rich."
  535. >"Hello Sweetie Belle, pardon me for asking but I was just wondering if your older sister has any news on all of those suits that I ordered?"
  536. >"Oh yeah that? She's working real hard on it, she told me that she can get all twenty of those done by the end of the week."
  537. >"Good, I was getting worried that I wouldn't have much of a selection to choose from for the function later."
  538. >Sweetie just nods her head before galloping off down to her home, looking back to the school you see other students wandering out
  539. >You see Scootaloo's eyes light up as she charges you
  540. >Oh wait no, charging filly!
  541. >"Gotcha!"
  542. >Geez, she just rammed your shin and is just hugging it now, you could probably still be able to walk properly though
  543. >"So this little filly is yours then?"
  544. >Oh right, forgot about Filthy Rich over there
  545. >Well I do look after her, ain't that right buddy?"
  546. >"Hey Anon! Can we please get some more jolli pony on the way home? I didn't eat at all during school!"
  547. >That totally answers your question but it does make Filthy laugh
  548. >"She seems like such a treasure, reminds me of my little filly, speaking of which where has that little rascal gone off to?"
  549. >Scootaloo finally takes her head off your leg and notices Filthy Rich, and suddenly her expression takes a sour turn
  550. >"Uh Anon? Is it alright if we can go, like right now?"
  551. >"Is that a blank flank I see? Urgh and what is that thing it's attached itself to?"
  552. >Scootaloo starts...uh growling? At whatever it is that made that comment
  553. >A small pink filly is walking towards the three of you, and judging by her choice of words you can immediately tell what kind of per-pony she is
  554. >"This is Anon! You know the only human in Equestria who has just come to pick me up!"
  555. >"Pfft whatever, I guess trash just pick each other up now, but do hurry along, your presence is an insult to all of my delicate senses."
  556. >"Diamond Jeweled Tiara!" Filthy shouts, loud enough that everypony near you glances over as well
  557. >And suddenly that high and mighty filly is staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact with her displeased father
  558. >Groaning Filthy Rich regains his composure and gives you an apologetic look
  559. >"I uh apologize for the words my daughter has just uttered, she just doesn't know how to interact with others properly, I just don't know who she gets it from."
  560. >You just came here to pick up Scootaloo, you didn't expect to have her clinging onto your leg while a guy was saying sorry for his daughter being a little prick
  561. [spoiler]>You never asked for this[/spoiler]
  562. >Look, I think I'm just going to go now, things to take care of and all that, you take care of yourself Mr. Rich."
  563. >As you were about to leave Filthy stopped you with a determined look on his face, for some reason
  564. >"Nay! I must make it up to you my fellow colt, and I know just the perfect thing too!"
  565. >At this point, you're shocked
  566. >Shocked because you never thought you'd actually hear one of these ponies say anything close to neigh
  567. >Apparently taking your shock as acceptence the brown stallion smiles
  568. >"I just know that you'll love it, I'll be sure to find you later and give you the details, until then ta ta."
  569. >Watching Filthy trot past you, you feel unsure of what just happened, considering that it all happened in the span of a few seconds
  570. >Shaking your head you do the best thing you could think up of and just leave, with an equally confused Scootaloo still on your leg
  571. >"Can we still get some Jolli Pony? Oh and we can probably go and see Rainbow Dash on the way there!"
  572. >After your last encounter with that mare, you'd rather not be chased thoughout town again as she asks you weird and stalker like questions about Spitfire
  573. >"Now Diamond, what did we tell you about saying mean things about others?"
  574. >"To use our inside voice and never say it to their face?"
  575. >"Good girl, however I think somepony has just earned themselves another lecture back home."
  576. >"I was only speaking the truth...."
  577.  
  578. >The Sun is shining brightly, a little too brightly for your liking
  579. >Fuck you Sun, why must thou hurt my eyes?"
  580. >Asking no one you let out a yawn, stretching your arms as you sit on a bench, waiting for Filthy Rich
  581. >You recieved a letter three minutes after you and Scootaloo arrived at home, which ended up with the letter smacking you right in the face followed by a "oops! I just don't know where the mailbox was."
  582. >At least she didn't hit you with her rump, as bubbly as that thing is, you've heard of its' destructive powers
  583. [spoiler]>She'd kill you through snu snu[/spoiler]
  584. >The letter contained a meeting location, time and even a nicely set out list of all the possible things you two could do
  585. >Some of the things sounded interesting but in the end you settled for going to the spa
  586. >You never went to one in the human world and the entire universe be damned if you didn't want to know what it was like
  587. >So now here you are, wearing a simple grey shirt and jeans combo, waiting for a stallion who more than likely could out-fancy you any day
  588. >"Pardon my late arrival dear, there was a terrible amount of ponies milling around on the streets and it was ever so dreadful to have to get past them."
  589. >Filthy Rich is nearing the bench, a somewhat tired look on his face
  590. >You look like you need a pick me up, good thing I decided we should go to the spa eh?"
  591. >Oh no, once it starts it won't stop for a while
  592. >"Oh yes dear, not usually what I have in mind for when I hang out with some...one, but I can't disagree that a lovely trip down to the spa would help."
  593. >Good, and before we get going I want to say thanks for inviting me out, you're a pretty decent fellow eh."
  594. >Nodding his head he leads you through Ponyville, offering small talk about the business he runs
  595. >Apparently the little pone has to organize and manage a single company that had many and all kinds of different departments
  596. >How he isn't a cranky pony with a stick up his ass the size of Uranus is beyond you
  597. >By the way, what is a spa like? I've never really been to one sadly so I don't exactly know what to expect."
  598. >Filthy stops in his tracks and looks at you with a shocked expression, he looks as if you ran over his puppy and acted like it was nothing
  599. >"You poor, poor colt, how have you never felt the joy and bliss that is a spa?"
  600. >Taking his overreaction in stride you just shrug and continue walking, chuckling softly as he rushes to keep pace
  601. >I guess I just never had the chance, or the money for that matter, stuff is expensive back ho-"
  602. >You catch yourself before you finish, which doesn't go unnoticed by the stallion as he rests a hoof on your leg
  603. >"Sorry hun, did I bring up something painful?"
  604. >Smiling down at the little brown pony you just pat his head softly, to which he begins nuzzling your hand
  605. >Nah, I just forget that this is my home now eh."
  606. >God dammit, you thought you were over this habit
  607. >Shaking your head as you wear a wry smile you both arrive at the front doors of Ponyville's only spa
  608. >'Ponyville's House of Earthly Delights'
  609. >..........Neat
  610. >"Oh we got sidetracked earlier dear, spas are really divine, you just need to find the right ones."
  611. >Beaming with pride Filthy holds the door open for you as you enter, only to see what looks like a blue pony arguing with a pink version of herself
  612. >"This is the thirteenth, I repeat THIRTEENTH time I've found out about your 'bird watching' holes, our customers pay good money to be taken care of not to take care of your lust."
  613. >This doesn't seem like one of that right ones that Filthy just finished telling you about
  614.  
  615.  
  616. >Twelve minutes later, you and Filthy are laying down on a pair of massage tables
  617. >After being caught having an argument by potential customers the two spa ponies essentially bribed you two with a free 'Godess' treatment
  618. >You were all for it, seeing as how what would cost a shit load was now free, Filthy however did something a little weird but you have to hand it to him, it was pretty cool
  619. >Going back just a bit, you are now Anon twelve minutes ago
  620. >After they hastily explained the 'keep you quiet' deal you were nodding your head in thought but looking at Filthy made you stop
  621. >He had that bizarre cartoon expression where his eyes were closed, he was wearing a big smile and there was a shadow being cast over his eyes somehow
  622. >It was kind of scary that you are looking at someone doing that expression right in front of you, not to mention that seeing as how he has been nothing but courteus to you it is a bit shocking to see this side of him
  623. >"Now darlings, while I love the service here, if I so much as catch even the tiniest hint that either of you are spying on me or my friend here."
  624. >Letting his words hang in the air for a bit you glance over and see the two twins, you guess, shaking ever so slightly
  625. >"Well, you should know who I am and what I am capable of."
  626. >Finsished speaking he looks up at you as his expression does a complete 180 "where was I? Oh yes I'm sure that you'll love all the different kinds of things a spa can do for your body."
  627. >So back to being buck naked Anon on a table, feeling a little uncomfortable in the dong region but you'll manage
  628. >"I-I welcome you and extend our gratitude that you two chose to come to our House of Earthly Delights, where our all natural and old fashioned techniques and oils will release all the negative energy in your body, my name is Aloe and I will be serving you today."
  629. >Looking up, you see the pink twin that was being yelled at, looking very shaky and avoiding eye contact
  630. >Thinking about it, how is she going to massage you? Is she really going to try it with those hooves of hers?
  631. >Don'twantnoneofthatshit.gif
  632. >Besides, do they even wear the horse shoes you're familiar with?........You'd figured that you would have known this answer by know considering how long you've been here
  633. >"Yes darling, while your gratitude of us accepting your deal is appreciated, my poor back and shoulders has been aching for a while now."
  634. >Nodding the pink pone rushes to grab a cart from off to the side and wheels it over
  635. >"Before you ask anything, I'll take the Swimming in Dough oil, and what will you have Anonymous?"
  636. >Swimming in Dough oil? The fuck does that even smell like?
  637. >"Hmm, well seeing as how this is my friend's first time here, how about Deliciously Unknown Oil?"
  638. >The mare nods her head and begins to oil up her hooves to massage Filthy
  639. >The whole past couple of seconds is just confusing to you
  640. >Won't the oil stick to their fur? How the fuck do they decide the names for these things? And worst of all, Deliciously Unknown?
  641. >Ican'tevenholdallofthesewhats.jpg
  642. >Deciding to toss all of those questions into the 'fuck it, magic' bin inside of your head you just let out a sigh and shake your head
  643. >Looking over you can't help but notice that there is a firm and pink coated ass directly in front of you
  644. >Not that kind of ass, a pink donkey would be interesting though
  645. >Seemingly having calmed herself down from her nerves earlier she hums softly as she massages her forehooves into Filthy's back as she sways her backside
  646. >You however turn your head away, not wanting to make things awkward by either being caught staring at the masseuse's ass or having a boner as you lie flat on your belly, or even both
  647. >It's been a while since you've been here and the lack of human connection has began to change your mind to accept the way these ponie's bodies look
  648. >But you've known this for a while, part of the change began when you noticed that Applejack has some thighs that seemed to attract your eyes
  649. >Nope, stop thinking about this sort of stuff, you're Anon, a person who really does not want a stiffy right now
  650. >"Okay then Master Rich, I will be back with you in just a little bit. And to you Master Anonymous, tell me if you feel any discomforts."
  651. >Oh boy, here we go
  652. >And it feels....rather soft, as if someone is rubbing you with a giant and oiled up marshmellow, as weird as that sounds
  653. >Unintentionally you let out a pleased sigh as this pony works her hooves all over your back
  654. >What was several minutes felt like it could last forever
  655. >Sadly you feel her hooves leave your back as she goes to work on Filthy, leaving you alone for five more minutes before coming back to finish you up
  656. >"I won't lie to you, I was a little worried when I saw your physique but you're not so different from a pony, I hope you enjoyed it and I believe it is time for you two to head on down to the spa."
  657. >Letting out a sigh you sit up and yawn
  658. >Hmm, yeah I guess so."
  659. >Huh? Why is the pink pony so quiet? And why is she staring at your.......
  660. >Weird, you could have sworn you had a towel....that was covering your ass
  661. >And she's not making any effort to look away, okay time to cover up
  662. >Taking the towel you cover up Anon jr. and waving your hand in front of her face you proceed to point at Filthy who is still laying down
  663. >Looking from the brown pony to you she nods and smiles, she's probably happy that you decided to not rat her out to Filthy, because it was partially your fault
  664. >Hey Filthy, come on buddy get up I wanna try this sauna."
  665. >Mumbling to himself the pony rolls off of the table and right onto his hooves
  666. >Is he a fucking cat or something?
  667. >"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Oh right yes Anonymous let us depart for the showers, thank you dear."
  668. >Walking out of the room you look back at Aloe who is staring at you
  669. >When she notices you staring back she giggles silently before pointing at herself, then to you and then proceeding to move her hoof up to her mouth and making an action that looks like a blo-
  670. >And now you're speeding past Filthy to get into that sauna and away from that pony
  671. >"Don't rush into it dear, you'll get all hot and sweaty anyway."
  672. >You're not helping things right now Filthy
  673.  
  674. >Besides that awkward moment you had with miss 'bird watcher' you had a downright fantastic time in the spa
  675. >You even told Filthy that you wouldn't mind going again, but you'll have to give it some time
  676. >Want to spend as much time away from that spa so that Aloe forgets all about you
  677. >She kept 'bumping' into you througout your time there and it wasn't until her blue sister dragged her away did you get to relax
  678. >But now you're trudging along back to your workplace and current home
  679. >The Sun was beginning to set and you could go for some serious food in your stomach right now
  680. >You're so hungry you could eat a horse, heh
  681. >"Well hello big colt, fancy meeting you out here huh?"
  682. >Recognising that voice you turn your head to see Spitfire slowly sauntering over to you, the way she swings her rump from side to side looks a weird mix between sultry and silly
  683. >Hey boss, finished with work I take it?"
  684. >Reaching you she subtly jabs your leg
  685. >"I told you to call me Spitfire, and well same old stuff really, I have to be that firm but caring instructor at the academy and I just wish that the cadets weren't always so obsessed with looking cool or awesome."
  686. >You hear what sounds like a cough, startling the both of you as you look around yourselves
  687. >Was someone spying on you two? Calming yourself down a little bit you exhale a deep breathe
  688. >No, why the heck would anyony spy on you anyway, it was probably some passing pony
  689. >"Uh Anon?"
  690. >Spitfire tugs on your jeans and points into the clear sky
  691. >Well clear except for one cloud, that oddly enough has a rainbow tail sticking out of it
  692. >Looking at Spitfire you both share a glance as you both know what the other one is thinking right now
  693. >"Well shit."
  694. >Well shit."
  695. >Staring up at the cloud you and Spitfire just stand there for a good minute before it starts to shake a little bit
  696. >And you could have sworn you heard something like 'they couldn't have noticed me right? I bet they're just admiring the sky.'
  697. >You kneel down next to Spitfire, sure it would send Rainbow Dash into a small fit but you had to whisper to her
  698. >I've got an idea, a bit of a cruel idea but an idea nonetheless."
  699. >Standing back up Spitfire hasitly nods her head which brings a smile to your face
  700. >Ah boy, it's so nice that we can enjoy a nice and quiet walk without anypony disturbing us, it'd be even worse if she had a blue coat or a rainbow mane."
  701. >Stretching your arms out you keep your back to Rainbow Dash as you say those words, grinning at Spitfire who looks confused but smiles eventually
  702. >"Oh dear Anonymous, who would ever fit that description? I find it hard to believe that there would be anypony who looks like that let alone sounds as awesome as that."
  703. >Thhe sarcasm is literally oozing out of your voices but knowing Rainbow Dash she's probably eating them up like compliements
  704. >"OHMYGODNOREALLY?SPITFIRETHINKSILOOKCOOLANDAWESOME?NOWAYNOWAYNOWAYNOWAYNOWAY!"
  705. >And now there is Rainbow Dash right in the middle of you two, cackling like a schoolgirl as she essentially screams her excitement
  706. >You weren't expecting this, you thought she'd opt to stay in her little cloud mobile but no she is now invading your pirvate space with her fangasming
  707. >At least she isn't chasing you around Ponyville and asking questions this time, you really need to sit this mare down with her friends and set up some boundaries and ground rules
  708. >Don't want to get jumped by her at any possible moment in town or have her ask some weird stuff about Spitfire
  709. >While covering your ears you spot some of the cloud still sticking to Rainbow Dash, feeling curious you poke at it only for your hand to go right through it and poke the pony's sides
  710. >Geez, the cloud made your entire hand wet
  711. >Feeling your finger poke her sides Rainbow shuts up and drops to the ground like one of those fainting goats
  712. >"Uhh.....I don't know what to say right now, should we just leave her like this?"
  713. >"You're so concerned for me Spitfire, I love you."
  714. >"Nevermind, I'm sure she'll be fine on her own."
  715. >Wordlessly agreeing you leave the blue pony who is still giggling
  716. >"She also thinks I am cool enough to be fine on my own, she's sooo awesome."
  717.  
  718. >Be Anon
  719. >Be brushing your teeth after having an amazing shower
  720. >Now that you think about it, compared to what you got at the Apple house this place is much more luxurious
  721. >Sure they did take you in and look after you, but a nice and long shower feels sooooo good
  722. >Exiting your ensuite you toss your towel aside as you clamber into your clothing
  723. >Casual shirt? Check, Casual pants? Check, now you're prepared for looking after Scootaloo and her destructive friends
  724. >It was still eary in the morning so you have enough time to duck down to breakfast and get something to eat
  725. >Despite living here for over two weeks these halls still feel very alien to you
  726. >You couldn't imagine yourself in a luxury mansion if you could even try, it was just some far off fantasy of yours
  727. >But now here you are, walking down to the kitchen which was about a two minute walk from your little room
  728. >Here and there you see several of Spitfire's 'cleaners' going from room to room, cleaning up and doing general security business
  729. >They're a lot better than those royal guards who stand still all the time
  730. >As you walk past a few of them you feel a tail slapping your ass
  731. >Well, maybe not as much better as you thought
  732. >You would have turned around and gave them a piece of your mind but your stomach is calling out to you to feed it
  733. >"Anon!~ Feed me~"
  734. >Yeah, see? It is ca-
  735. >Whoa wait, what the fuck?!
  736. >Jumping off to the side you almost hit the wall in your surprised state
  737. >Behind you was Scootaloo, rubbing one of her eyes with her rainbow coloured blanket as her Rainbow Dash pajamas hangs off of her loosely
  738. >It's a bit too much rainbow for you right now, but at least you know your stomach isn't talking to you
  739. >...
  740. >....
  741. >.....
  742. >yet
  743. >"Can you make me some hay bacon with eggs and toast Anon?"
  744. >Well you were hoping that she would still be asleep but it couldn't hurt to cook up something for the filly
  745. >Besides, how difficult could it be to cook all of that
  746. >...
  747. >....
  748. >As it turns out, it's exactly the same as cooking normal bacon and eggs with toast
  749. >Lucky you, looks like you won't have to dish out some burnt meals
  750. >"Can you cook it any faster? I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
  751. >What isn't so easy though is that Scootaloo had pulled up a stool and was watching you cook very intently
  752. >It was just very off putting to see her wearing Rinbow Dash related items
  753. >You had heard a rumor that there was a time when she had merchandise but....well actually you shouldn't be surprised Scootaloo has some of them
  754. >But now that makes you wonder if Rainbow Dash has any merchandise of Spitfire lying around somehwere
  755.  
  756. >You are now Multicoloured Quick
  757. >You are abrubtly woken from your super awesome nap with a sneeze
  758. >Whuba? W-Who dares make the great Rainbow Dash sneeze?"
  759. >Being met with silence you look out your window and see the Sun starting to rise into the sky
  760. >Eh, I've got about a few more hours, now come here Spitfire and help warm me up"
  761. >Reaching out you grasp your hug pillow featuring your most favourite mare in the whole wide world
  762. >If you had to actually admit it, she was more awesomer than you, but you'd never tell anypony
  763.  
  764. >You are now a shivering Anonymous
  765. >You felt a cold and icy chill run up your spine
  766. >That usually meant bad things were coming.....or that it was cold, one or the other really
  767. >"C-Can I pop the toast in?"
  768. >Looking over you see Scootaloo has her hoof hoisted above said appliance with two pieces of bread
  769. >Past the point of questioning how they hold things you just wave a hand dissmissively
  770. >Yeah buddy, just plop them on in and turn it on, I'm counting on you for them."
  771. >She beams a smile at you and nods her head enthusiastically
  772. >While she does that you stare back at what you are cooking, ponies can eat eggs which is really good
  773. >The hay bacon has always thrown you for a loop though, they don't eat meat but make a meat based item out of hay?
  774. >Then where is all the hay steak and hay kebabs? At least it smells like bacon for some reason, you hope it tastes like bacon
  775. >But it couldn't taste like actual bacon.....could it?
  776. >"So how long do you think until they're ready?"
  777. >You asked me that a few minutes ago."
  778. >"And you said that they'd be ready in a few minutes."
  779. >Just give me a bit more time Scootaloo, they'll be done, you can wait for them right?"
  780. >"Uh huh, of course I can dad!"
  781. >Huh, well that was unexpected, and looking at Scootaloo she didn't quite mean to say that either
  782. >Her face is as red as it could possibly be as she stares at her forehooves
  783. >Ah you know that feeling all too well, once upon a time you could one of your teachers 'mum'
  784. >But not wanting her to feel even more embarrassed you reach out and ruffle up her mane a bit
  785. >Well that's wonderful to hear Scoots, would you kindly set the table up for us though?"
  786. >Completely by her own free will, the small filly did as you asked, probably thankful you didn't call her out on the dad part
  787. >One, two, three sets of plates have been dished out, well looks like you have to add another piece of hay bacon and one more egg then
  788. >"Well isn't this a cute sight then."
  789. >Looking away for only a brief second you see Spitfire at the archway into the kitchen, her mane was slightly dishelveled and she was wearing a warm smile on her face
  790. >"Good morning Mommy, Anonymous is cooking us breakfast!">"I can see that hun, now go get freshened up for school, I'm sure he'll be finished cooking by the time you get back."
  791. >Watching the orange filly jump off of the stool and race out of the room brings a smile to your face while set finish the first set of food
  792. >"You know, that's a real good look for you Anonymous."
  793. >Turning your attention to Spitfire you see her taking her spot at the table that seems too ordinary to belong to a rich pony
  794. >"But I fear that is it missing something."
  795. >Missing something? This is just my normal outfit Spi-"
  796. >"Ah! I figured it out now, what you're missing is this!"
  797. >Surprised that someone outside of Rarity's family had interrupted you, you gander at what Spitfire had in her hooves
  798. >And she was proudly showing you a frilly pink apron with a giant heart in the centre followed by the words 'the fastest way to my heart is eating my food'
  799. >Ignoring the badly written words on the apron you raise an eyebrow at Spitfire, whose prideful smile had started to falter just a tad
  800. >"Something not to your liking? I know you colts always get so fussy over little things like this, but I had thought that-"
  801. >And what was it that you thought exactly?"
  802. >And then her expression drops completely, as if she had done something terrible or as if Rainbow Dash had right then just appeared under the table
  803. >Glancing down reveals no sign of the Rainbow creep, so that's one possible problem solved
  804. >Turning back to the food cooking in front of you, you set it aside to cook through a little more as you start to butter up the toast
  805. >"Well, you see I had thought that, well not exactly thought but more like assumed would be the best words to use but I fear that that doesn't do it justice as we-"
  806. >Don't turn around Anon, you don't want her to see the smile on your face right now
  807. >The cool and calm Spitfire had suddenly turned into Twilight whenever you asked her the details of her 'experiments' she wanted to perform on you
  808. >Better to just let this one play itself out, honestly you feel just a little bit bad for not liking that apron but something she said did intrigue you
  809. >"And then I thought that, urgh! What I am trying to get at is that I have no idea where I am going with this."
  810. >Well, it was short lived but you'll remember that for a while
  811. >I have no idea where you're going with that as well Spitfire, still doesn't really explain the apron's design or why you even got one."
  812. >"Well you know, all colts need an apron when they're working in the kitchen, it's common pony knowledge."
  813. >Letting out a chuckle you just finished spreading buttery goodness onto all of the toast and placed each one onto a plate
  814. >"And then again, all colts have an apron since they're more than likely in the kitchen you know, cooking food and such."
  815. >Huh, maybe stallions are better at cooking than mares, which seems rather silly but since this is a place full of bullshit magic you won't cross it off of your mind just yet
  816. >Well thanks for the apron anyway Spitfire but I feel quite confident in my skills to not need it, who knows, I might just wear only the apron one day for a special occasion."
  817. >It'll be hilarious to do that naked apron trope to someone, hopefully by then you'll be with someone who knows your sense of humor
  818. >Sadly you haven't really come across any mare here who would fit that descripton other than Pinkie, but her humor is not the kind you want
  819. >Setting the plates down you take the garment from Spitfire and neatly fold it up
  820. >Hey Spitfire, you alright to work? You're looking a bit red there."
  821. >"Wha-Who?! Me? No Anonymous, why I'm just suple-bah! I mean I'm feeling you u-urgh! Celestia dammit!"
  822. >Unsure if Spitfire is having one of 'those' moments you just let her get whatever it is out of her system and remain quiet
  823. >Something you learned to do quite quickly whenever a girl back home was experiencing that, never hurts to have chocolate or ice cream on hand as well
  824.  
  825. >You are now the Sultry and Super fine Spitfire
  826. >You are also not feeling all that Sultry or Super fine right now
  827. >Things had started to go downhill when Anonymous called you out earlier, colts hate it when you generalize them like that
  828. >Sure you had specifically ordered that apron just for him since you had hoped that he would be cooking a lot more
  829. >It's a given that with how well he had taken care of Scootaloo in the past few weeks that he would be an exquisite chef
  830. >Even though he had taken his sweet flank's time to get around to cooking though, his apron was hidden under the table the entire time until it was the right moment
  831. >You are a professional, calm and not going to lie to yourself right now, but you ARE a perfect speciment of what a mare should be
  832. >Despite a few exceptions most of the colts you know throw themselves at you, sometimes literally just to get a few seconds in your presence
  833. >However this nonpony stallion in your kitchen right now had only reacted to your flirting with a quiet blush or an equally flirty comeback
  834. >You're still not sure if he is either the shyest or teatsiest colt you've met
  835. >And that was what was interesting about him, he's like a big cuddly teddy bear, just with a few pointy claws, that can sometimes hurt or scratch you in juuuust the right way
  836. >And you thought you had blown it with how he had reacted, that was always the telltale sign that a colt was about to go in a very long speech about how unique or special they were
  837. >Instead though he had just taken your apron and just flat out said that he would wear it naked sometime
  838. >Normally you'd think nothing of just a colt wearing only an apron but something about him doing that causes your wings to really want to stand and salute the human
  839. >At this rate it might as well be a salute followed by a wink and slight showers, he took you completely off guard with that
  840. >Stupid sexy Anon
  841.  
  842. >You are now back to being the one and only Anonymous
  843. >The final egg and hay bacon strip is just about to finish
  844. >You had thought you smelt something funky just a few seconds ago but maybe it's just the way hay bacon smells when it's cooked
  845. >"OkayIfinishedgettingreadyandevenputmyjammiesinthewashMommy!ButIeatnow!"
  846. >Only catching the last couple bits of whatever the hell Scootaloo just said as she leaps onto one of the chairs she pounds on the table
  847. >"Anon! Mommy aid you'd be finished by now, where's the foooood?!"
  848. >Knowing you were safe from them seeing you roll your eyes before dishing the food out, leaving you the only one without any breakfast as it continues to cook
  849. >In a minute you'll be good though
  850. >But it seem Scootaloo might finish before your food does
  851. >She is holdng the plate up and is just about to slide her breafast into her mouth
  852. >Scootaloo, take your time or you won't enjoy your food okay?"
  853. >The food came out alright but you want her to eat it properly so you can swim in the praises that is your average cooking
  854. >She's pouting but she sets the plate down, staring at the assortment of the bits and pieces
  855. >It's just a simple egg and hay bacon on top of buttered toast with a few slices of cheese you sneaked onto there with a dash of salt and pepper
  856. >You were no expert in cooking but that little number made a great breakfast when you were running low on funds back home
  857.  
  858. >The Sun was shining up in the sky, shining ever so brightly, just like it always did
  859. >Fuck you Sun."
  860. >Shaking a fist into the sky as your other hand shields your eyes you wonder what was taking so long
  861. >Scootaloo was all ready when she had came to eat but partway through she had to go and grab something
  862. >Spitfire herself escorted you outside and you both came across Derpy
  863. >Who was somehow flying ass backwards and was bumping her butt into you like a bumper car
  864. >"Oh hey you two! I've got your mails right here!"
  865. >Happy that every single atom inside of you wasn't destroyed when Derpy's rump bumped into you, you felt a little disappoined that there was no mail for you
  866. >Spitfire got a letter though, however once she read it she immediately told you to wait right here as she flew back inside
  867. >So now here you are, standing outside in the sunlight, and Derpy was still doing the butt to chest bump thing
  868. >This has been going on for the last couple of minutes
  869. >"Uh hey Anonymous, don't you like have a job to go and do?"
  870. >Honestly you were getting a bit annoyed by her for a moment but when she looks at you with those eyes of hers and cute voice you just can't help but smile and pet her
  871. >But this time you apply a bit more force to your petting to get some form of revenge
  872. >I do have a job to go do, I'm doing it right now."
  873. >"Oh! That makes sense."
  874. >She beams you a smile and once again you two are left in companionable silence and bumping
  875. >"Wait, is your job.....me?"
  876. >Before you could answer her the door bursts open as Scootaloo hurriedly tries to put her backpack on, Spitfire is doing the final touches to some kind of suit she put on and Lyra is calmly walking behind them
  877. >Upon seeing you though she gasps and waves
  878. >"Hey Anon! It's me Lyra, fancy meeting you here!"
  879. >She is literally a few metres away, doesn't stop her from yelling that for some reason
  880. >"Okay Anon, good you're here! Oh wait, not good! You didn't even go and change!"
  881. >What do you mean I didn't go and get changed Boss, you told me to wait here."
  882. >"Doesn't matter, Lyra is taking Scootaloo to school today, right now though you're coming with me!"
  883. >"Aww, but I wanna go with Anon to school, he lets me ride on his shoulders and I feel bigger than all the other ponies."
  884. >"Sorry hun, your foalsitter can complete your power fantasies some other time, right now though Mommy needs him to follow her."
  885. >And where exactly are we going? I feel as if this is something that wasn't on my job description."
  886. >Despite the joke, you do wonder what's got Spitfire in a tizzy about, this is the second time today that she's gone all flusterd like
  887. >"I completely forgot to write it on my calandar but there is a Wonderbolt party going on today, and that letter was the reminder, which is silly because who sends a reminder ON the day of the event right?!"
  888. >Despite her swept back mane a few strands begin to go lose, before they are combed back by Lyra who pulls one out of nowhere
  889. >"Thanks Lyra, what I mean though, is that there is a party, you're coming with me and I'm sorry hun but there is not enough time between now and then for you to get changed."
  890.  
  891. >Not enough time she says, you wonder if she knows that it takes you about five minutes to get changed
  892. >Yet here you are, sitting on a 'special' carriage, just you and Spitfire for the last half an hour as you fly on up to Cloudsdale
  893. >Apparently the party doesn't even start until another hour's time, it really does not take you an hour and a half to get ready
  894. >So now you're just sitting there, your arms are crossed and you wish you could pout properly to show your grumpiness
  895. >Spitfire has been silent this entire time, from what you noticed she seemed to be trying to calm herself down
  896. >Well she does seem to be acting not like her usual self this morning, she's probably nervous about this party
  897. >What kind of party could a bunch of pegasi who perform stunt shows and sometimes are called upon to try to save the world, have anyway?
  898. >Beats you, part of you just hopes this damn spell they cast on you lasts the entire time
  899. >No way in hell did you want to literally fall through the clouds, as cool as it seems though you'd probably die
  900. >"So, I am sorry for my weird behavour this morning, I just feel a bit out of sorts."
  901. >The first thing she says this entire trip is that, no don't worry, give it a bit more time she'll probably mention the whole changing issue soon
  902. >...
  903. >....
  904. >.....
  905. >Fuck it
  906. >So, what was that about it taking too much time for me to change to get to this party on time?"
  907. >Laying the passive agressiveness on heavily you face your head towards the window but turn your gaze to Spitfire
  908.  
  909. >When you heard that you were going to attend a pegasi party in the clouds with the world's supposedly fastest fliers you sure as hell weren't expecting this
  910. >Everypony in here is dressed up fancy like, honestly they do look rather adorable in their little suits and dresses
  911. >You had really imagined that since they were also like a sports team that it would be a bit....greasier in some fashion
  912. >The only kind of greasy thing in here is that one stallion at the buffet is devouring that pie
  913. >You spot some mares staring at him and wonder if they're judging him for eating in such a fa-
  914. >"Do you think he eats out as good as he pigs out?"
  915. >"Oh my gosh, you totally did not just go there Spirit, what if he had heard you!"
  916. >"What the sexy lad doesn't hear won't hurt him any, but come on not even you can look at him just stuffing his face into that pie, and just wonder."
  917. >"Well yeah, but not like I'm the one lifting her tail up and letting everypony know how excited I am about Soarin."
  918. >Whelp, that was one conversation that you didn't want to hear
  919. >Shaking your head you decide that since Spitfire had suddenly just dumped your ass in a corner when you arrived it wouldn't hurt to converse with someone
  920. >Seeing as how he was clearly a lover of pie then maybe, just maybe you could get along
  921. >Part of you is worried he's going to be one of those asshole sports players who think they're the top shit
  922. >Hey there buddy, enjoying that pie of yours there?"
  923. >Ah good, you've got his attention, oh how cute he turned to look at you but ended up staring at your crotch for a bit before looking up at you
  924. >"Whoa! Sorry there my fellow colt, I like totally did not expect you to be like 'wow look at me, I'm a big fella!' but here you are!"
  925. >He seems oddly chipper, well at least he seems friendly even with all of that pie still stuck to his nose...muzzle thing, horse snout? You'll remember it eventually
  926. >"I'm Soarin! Lead colt flyer for the Wonderbolts! And I just don't reveal my identity to just about any pony or minotaur, you know."
  927. >"Yes he does."
  928. >Another stallion off to the side tells you in an exhausted tone of voice before he turns back to his conversation
  929. >Uh huh, well nice to meet you Soarin, I'm Anonymous and I'm actually a human, if I was a minotaur I'd probably be in a labrynth or something."
  930. >As you speak his pupils shrink and he almost jabs your leg with his hoof
  931. >"Sheesh, easy with the racism my colt, if an actual minotaur heard you say that then you'd be kicked out of here faster than you can say catnip."
  932. >Okay maybe this guy wasn't the best choice for conversation
  933. >It would probably be a good idea to skedaddle on out of here
  934. >"So what are you two colts talking about over here?"
  935. >A mare this time comes sauntering over, she seems very......confident? You can't quite place it but that's the only word that comes to you right now
  936. >"Oh hey Fleetfoot, wanna try some of this pie I got?!"
  937. >"That's all good Soarin, the girls and I know just how much you LOVE your pie, so eat up."
  938. >"Uh huh! I'll do just that, it was nice meeting you Anonymous my colt, but I've got a date with little miss tasty pie~"
  939. >"And I believe we haven't been introduced, my name is Fleetfoot, I'm sure that if you're here that you must have heard of me."
  940. >Oh hey, maybe you have found that asshole sports player you were thinking about earlier.
  941. >Sadly though you're at a fancy party as Spitfire's plus one, at best
  942. >If you cause a scene while you're here you might end up losing your job at worst, you don't want that
  943. >Well hello Fleetfoot, I do not believe we have ever had the pleasure of meeting before, I apologize for not recognizing such a mare sooner."
  944. >Jeez, talking out of your ass like this and trying to sound sincere was more difficult than you thought
  945. >However she seems to buy it for some reason as she does her own little curt bow of her head
  946. >"Well, I'm not normally one to toot my own horn but I AM the lead mare of the Wonderbolts."
  947. >"No she's not" you hear a couple of mares from around the room say, causing the Fleetfoot to blush ever so slightly before regaining her composure
  948. >"A-Anyway, I had heard a few rumors here and there about a strange colt in Ponyville, I didn't expect him to look so marely."
  949. >What does that even mean? She's saying you look like a mare or some weird form of merrily?
  950. >Honestly you don't know what to say to that, so you do the only thing you can
  951. >Continue to stare at Fleetfoot as you pile food onto your plate
  952. >For some reason she begins to smile wider at this and even giggles
  953. >"So how did you get here huh? I didn't know that you were coming and I'm sure that I know ALL of the colts who come to these parties."
  954. >She's leaning a lot closer than you'd like, considering that these ponies are head height with your crotch
  955. >But as soon as her muzzle was about to touch your waist she immediately springs back to an upright position as she looks up to the cieling with a thoughtful expression
  956. >"Well except for maybe Soarin, but all the mares and I agreed that he's off limits, that super sweet colt of ours."
  957. >Yes that's right, keept talking little pony, soon this plate will be full of food and then this human is going to skedaddle on out of here
  958. >"But well, that almost makes it jucier to go after him, hmmm I almost wish I could, the suit just fits him in all the right places."
  959. >Well then, you were alright with knowing that about Spitfire but you weren't so comfortable knowing that about that pie lover you were just talking to
  960. >Look, Flootfeet was it?"
  961. >She looks taken aback by the mispronounciation of her name and was about to say something but you boop her little muzzle with a finger
  962. >I was only with you for a few seconds and best but all I want to do right now is get my food and leave the buffet, do you understand me?"
  963. >A look of realization dawns upon her, good thing she has the common sense to know when she's being annoying
  964. >"Oh really? Well I'm not going to complain but that was way faster than expected, what say we take this somewhere private?"
  965. >Okay now, you're no idiot, at least you'd like to think you're not most of the time
  966. >But you're pretty damn sure that this little mare misunderstood what you said and is now flirting with you
  967. >You didn't want to do this but you know of one small line back from home that might help
  968. >Chuckling as pleasently as you could you pat the top of her head
  969. >Nice one, sadly though I'm just not that into you."
  970. >You swear you can hear a number of the mares around you snicker at Fleetfoot who is currently turning beet red
  971. >Well hey would you look at that, your plate is now sufficiently full of food, now would be a good time to get out of here
  972. >Not bothering with a goodbye you turn and walk away, this however caused some of those mares to burst out into laughter
  973. >Now to do what you did best at parties, find a corner and eat your food away from all of the annoying people
  974.  
  975. >You were skeptical about it at first but now it had become incresingly obvious
  976. >You could deny it no longer
  977. >"Something wrong Anonymous? Oh do you want me to get you more food? Maybe I can meet Spitfire or Soarin along the way!"
  978. >A rainbow maned pegasus sits next to you as you eat your deep fried potatoe, staring up at you with a huge smile
  979. >This pony to your right was one stalker with a bit too much power
  980. >You were enjoying some peace and quiet but she waltzed through the front door five minutes ago
  981. >She had apparently found out about this and invited herself along, normally she would be kicked out
  982. >But being an Element of Harmony meant that she was more than welcome to join
  983. >"What are you going to see them for? I'm more than enough Wonderbolt for a friend of Anonymous."
  984. >And in the left corner!
  985. >Also sporting a blue coat but with a white mane
  986. >Is the equally annoying Fleetfoot who had followed you to your quiet corner
  987. >Now that you think about it, they're practically the same
  988. >They're both pegasi with a blue coat, they also get on your nerves quite easily
  989. >And if you remembered correctly it was said that the colour white was all of the colours......
  990. >Oh no they're the exact same pony!
  991. >You're stuck in literal hell as their voices soon become static in your head and your mind focuses on other things
  992. >Like this food, such simple foods
  993. >Oh how yummy they are, going down to your tummy
  994. >Do you think you're screwed right now?
  995. >Yes, and possibly a little broken from the experience
  996. >"So I did this whole new trick that amazed everypony, it was the most awesome thing ever!"
  997. >"Pfft! Puh-lease! I did that trick ages ago, I'm able to do that and even a loop afterwards for show."
  998. >"I'll call you on that, if you think you can pull it off then show me."
  999. >"Oh yeah? bring it, I'll prove that I can do it."
  1000. >Oh thank everything that is holy, Buddha, Vishnu, even that Izanagi guy
  1001. >They're finally leaving, you don't know who started it but apparently they're going to try to 'out awesome' each other
  1002. >Your mind slowly resettles itself, relaxed now that it doesn't have to deal wth that headache
  1003. >"Oh here you are Anonymous, so this is where you disappeared off to?"
  1004. >Looking up from your plate you see Spitfire
  1005. >She dumped your ass as soon as you both arrived and that's what she says to you
  1006. >However you're just thankful it's her and only here
  1007. >Holding back any irritated comment you just sigh and pat the top of her head
  1008. >You don't know how much I love you right now Spitfire."
  1009. >"Oh? I take it something happaned while I was away?"
  1010. >She parks herself where Fleetfoot was before jumping up suddenly, staring at the seat in shock before sitting on the next one
  1011. >"Okay then, uh who was sitting there?"
  1012. >Fleetfoot, why? Did she do something to the seat?"
  1013. >"Her huh? Yeah I guess you don't need to say anything else then, but knowing her she'd be trying to get you into the sack ages ago, where is she now?"
  1014. >So you quickly explain to her why and where she has gone off to, wanting to not spend too much time talking or thinking about those two right now
  1015. >Once you finish she visibly cringes and lets out a groan
  1016. >"Well then, I don't quite know what to make of that but I did come looking for you once I heard that you had embarrassed Fleetfoot."
  1017. >Oh good, so she was worried, to some extent
  1018. >"And yeah I guess I did just drop this on you without asking, you're not still mad at me are you?"
  1019. >Well, on the one hand you got to eat some awesome food and hang out in the clouds, on the other......
  1020. >I guess I can forgive you this time, but you owe me big time Spitfire."
  1021. >"Oh so it's Spitfire tonight and not Boss?"
  1022. >I'll call you that again when you've earned the right for it back."
  1023. >"Sure, and I know several ways to make you scream it out Anon."
  1024. >Her voice was dripping in sex, yet somehow it made you feel comfortable, unlike with Fleetfoot
  1025. >In fact, it tempts you, almost makes you want to mess with her right back even
  1026. >Like hell I believe that, sure you may have the mouth and body to back that up but not the drive."
  1027. >Once the words leave the smug smile you have you notice Spitfire chuckle loudly
  1028. >"Oh you're such a damned tease Anon, I'm surprised a mare hasn't come along and snatched you away yet."
  1029. >Well technically I live with you, so that might count."
  1030. >"Wait, you're living together?"
  1031. >"Wait, you're living together?"

Anon sitting Scootaloo (RGRE)

by BottleAnon