Spank the Anon v4 by Pan

(Twilight / Anon)

F/m, hoof, otk, non-consensual

 

(16/08/2015)

 

 

---

 

I've been living in Equestria for a few years now. Ever since, ponies have been trying to get me to assimilate. It hasn't gone as well as some would hope. I have the basics of everything down, yes. But ask me more than a few sentences about Equestrian democracy, math beyond addition and subtraction, or what makes up matter in this world and I'd be just as lost as I was my first day on this planet. The only thing I know how to write is my name. English carried over to whatever language these tiny horses speak just fine. For whatever reason, I understand them and they understand me. Maybe it's because I'm a pony here too. I wasn't so lucky with the written word, so I couldn't study on my own time even if I wanted to.

 

Not that I would. I had enough of that back home. Okay, it would be nice to read the menus at restauraunts, and offer some watering-hole conversation about upcoming parliamentary elections. Some ponies are even hoping to oust Mayor Mare, but she's held her office for decades. The activists here have a slogan, "ponies, not cronies" (it could use some work) to describe their opposition to the mayor, but without the local history everypony learns in school, I'm lost. Ponies, mostly the local nature-lovers, lecture me about how much nicer our town was before the railway expansion project, and I just have to nod along as if I agree. As if I even know what they're talking about.

 

The older generation on Earth always said we used calculators too much. Here, I realize they were right. I can't keep up. Although calculus was only discovered in the last century, and ponies are having as many problems with classical physics as humans did, they are mental-math wizards. They use some kind of cognitive abacus. The technique predates Starswirl the Bearded, who Twilight gushes about almost weekly.

 

Hans the Clever developed a method for multiplication and division that uses only the tapping of hooves to solve problems. It paved the way for more advanced math without having to write down most of the computations. After Hans, science was open to earth ponies and pegasi, not just the unicorns who could deal with pencils and quills.

 

Apparently, the rest of the ponies who came from Earth are having similar problems fitting in. I'm not allowed to see them, and they're not allowed to see me, but we dictate letters that get sent between us. Princess Celestia believes that we outsiders hold a strange and powerful magic, and it cannot fall into the wrong hooves. The less ponies who know where each of us lives, or that there are any ponies from out of this world, the better. Twilight says there are fewer than 100 of us outsiders.

 

We are a prize catch for the psychological community in Equestria. We have the knowledge of young fillies and colts, yet are old enough for ethics boards to approve experiments on us. Until now, the experiments have been short-term and basic, but now we are to participate in an experiment lasting eight months. Technically, we have to agree to the experiments. But magical ponies are not mammals you want to cross. I'd be alienated for life in this stange magical land if I didn't play along.

 

Still, I would have liked to have been told what it was before being coerced into it. Not wanting to disappoint my adoptive parent, I agreed to go along with whatever I had to do.

 

Apparently, it required a trip to Canterlot. Twilight left Spike in charge of the library. We had an audience with the princess. I thought this was odd, but I later learned that most of the other ponies from Earth saw Celestia more regularly than I did. Twilight saw me when we all first arrived, and asked to take me in.

 

As I was led down a sort of hospital hallway,

I heard Twilight whisper to Celestia

and that did not sound pleasant. I once again asked Twilight if this was safe.

 

She bopped me on the nose.

 

Twilight told me that the process was safe... then strapped me down to an operating table.

 

Celestia reassured me since Twilight was so bad at it.

 

She made a laser come out of her horn and pointed at one.

 

Then I was being poked awake, unaware of anything else they may have done.

 

Celestia noted, eyes weary as if she were just a *little* bit tired of Twilight's thirst for knowledge. Celestia was the first to talk to me:

 

I was 30 seconds from falling back asleep. The next couch or sofa I saw, I declared I would claim. Must have been the sleep spell.

 

Twilight picked me up. At first this wasn't a cause for alarm; she's used magic to do so a few times, for fun or practice or to make a point. Then I realized she draped me over her back like old laundry. I should have been bigger than that.

 

 

She let out one of her little laughs.

 

 

Hospital couch. Score!

 

The morning sun through the window hit my eyes and woke me up. Morning sun? Did I sleep from the afternoon to now?

 

Now I was able to prod Twilight awake, instead of the other way around.

 

 

She yawned.

 

 

 

On the way to some mediocre street vendor, Twilight explains everything. No longer inhibited by the sleep spell, I figured most of it out myself. Twilight was now a lot bigger than me.

 

 

I've had enough of school.

 

 

At least I got some eggs for breakfast. I love eggs.

 

...

 

Having lived with Twilight as her colt for a few weeks now, I can say a few things. The new arrangement has a lot more nuzzling. And cuddling. And being sent to bed without dessert. The reason I've been turned into a colt is so psychologists can study different things about growing up in Equestria. I am told that every other outsider has been regressed as well. I have to look up to meet Twilight's eyes. She towers over me. Normally this isn't a problem, but when she says this:

 

 

My blood runs cold. Which brings me to my current predicament.

 

 

She lowers her eyelids in suspicion.

 

 

 

...

 

 

"You lied to me! How are you ever going to get your science grades up if you keep me on the dark side of the moon?"

 

 

"Mom. Topaz is average. It doesn't mean I'm a failure."

 

"Some foals work really hard to get the grades you have."

 

"Yeah, I see Snails staying after class to try to bring his PE grade up."

 

"Don't play games with me."

 

 

"If you spent half the time studying as you did reading comic books, you wouldn't be in this mess."

 

"What mess? I'm happy with the grades I got."

 

"Well I'm your mother. And I'm not. All I want is to see you try."

 

 

"You're not my mom."

 

 

"I already went through 12 years of this shit! And now I'm a colt and practically have to start over! How would you like to be sent back to magic kindergarten?"

 

 

 

"Were you this lazy on your home planet? Or this rude, for that matter? Is that any way to talk to your mother?"

 

"I already told you."

"You're not my mother."

 

 

"Hey! That's a first edition, you ungrateful spawn of Cerberus!"

"Twilight, how would you like it if you got spanked for every little thing you did wrong?"

"That 'want it, need it' spell?"

"Killing Celestia's pet?"

"That had nothing to do with me!"

"Get back here!"

 

 

"Anon! Your bottom has an appointment with my hoof!"

 

"Anon, we need to talk. Scoot."

"That was dangerous and immature. You could've landed on your head and ended...

 

"I said come here."

 

"Wha?"

 

 

"I don't have all day."

 

 

 

"I think we can settle things here, Anon."

 

"Okay."

 

 

 

(SLAP)

 

"Irresponsible!"

(SMACK)

 

"Rude!"

(SMACK)

 

"And lazy, for that matter!"

(SLAP)

 

"I'm not saying I expect you to get 'jades' in all of your classes."

...

 

"But it would really mean a lot to me to see you try. Okay?"

 

(PAT)

 

"Okay?"

 

"Okay..."

 

 

"Which reminds me of your attitude problem."

"Huh?"

(WHACK)

"Ow!"

 

"Don't run away, and don't jump out of windows!"

(SPANK)

 

 

"Mom! Please!"

 

(SMACK)

 

"Mommy!"

 

"So I'm your mommy now? A half hour ago I was just some mare who made you breakfast."

(TAP)

 

"Yesmommysorrymommy--"

(SLAP)

 

"Good. Let's keep it that way. Come on."

 

"You're going straight to bed."