Bolt Catcher


                                            >"-and then we could drink hot cocoa and stack books together!"

                                            >The bookworm unicorn shakily smiles up at you, brushing a stray strand of purple mane from her eyes.

                                            >In as patronizing a manner as you can muster, you smirk your smuggest smirk, letting her words breathe in the now-silent morning air.

                                            >Twilight taps her hoof nervously on your stoop's floorboards, anxiously awaiting any sort of deliberation.

                                            >"W-well?"

                                            >You cross your arms slowly, never once letting your smug expression falter.

                                            "And then what."

                                            >The purple unicorn on your front porch hesitates briefly, still unsure as to why you've put on such a superior air.

                                            >"W-we could take a nap maybe? I get a little sleepy after lunch and-"

                                            >You cut her answer short with a deep, jovial belly laugh that booms across your front lawn, echoing. A laugh fit for kings.

                                            >Twilight's ears flatten reflexively against her head, and she teeters backwards slightly in shock as your laugh continues unabated.

                                            >She waits patiently for your bout of merriment to subside, but minutes pass and your laughter still maintains its rich, thunderous volume.

                                            >Twilight raises a hoof, stammering, trying to edge past the stream of gaiety you're currently drowning the surroundings in.

                                            >As her stuttering fails to reach your ears, her irritation grows, Twilight's eyes narrowing and brows furrowing before letting forth a scream at the top of her lungs.

                                            >"ANON!"

                                            >You hold your laugh long enough to let her know you could keep going, and then leisurely lower your voice until it's nothing more than a few well-spaced guffaws.

                                            >You wipe a tear of mirth from your eye, peering down regally at the piqued pony.

                                            "Twilight Sparkle. Such a treasure."

                                            >She scowls up at you with wet eyes.

                                            >"I'm just trying to invite you on a date! Laughing at me like that is... is really rude. That's not something friends should do to each other."

                                            >Grinning knowingly, you reach down and casually scratch the top of Twilight's head, tussling her combed locks into an unkempt mess.

                                            >"S-stop that!"

                                            "Oh Twilight, Twilight, Twilight... What are we going to do with you?"

                                            >Twilight shakes her head free of your hand, backing up slightly. You oblige, returning your arms to their folded stance, but not before giving one last scratch.

                                            >You silently fix her with your smug gaze, her eyes desperately scanning yours for an explanation.

                                            "I can see what you're doing you know. What you're trying to do."

                                            >The purple pony in front of you remains quiet, frowning.

                                            "The whole charade you've set up here. Inviting me over with such innocent intentions. It's laughable, really, but I guess I can't expect you silly little ponies to give your attempts any real subtlety."

                                            >Twilight's lip quivers, her eyes wetting considerably. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but you press on without pause.

                                            "You guys have got to step up your rape game, I can see your attempts coming from miles away. Why just last week, Fluttershy tried to-"

                                            >This time it's Twilight's turn to interrupt you, her face contorting in shock.

                                            >"Wait, rape? This is about your stupid -rape- fantasies again?"

                                            "Don't act so surprised Sparkle, I know you're practically wetting yourself thinking about how you'll get to have your way with me after I spend a "fun" afternoon with you drinking your "totally normal" hot cocoa."

                                            >Tears are now openly streaking down Twilight's face, staining her muzzle.

                                            >"T-that's not... I just wanted to spend time with you Anon!"

                                            "Yeah, after tying me up in your basement. Trust me Twi, I know all about how you ponies really feel. Were you there when Rarity invited me to her boutique to "refresh my wardrobe?" Or when Pinkie tried to give me that rape-cake as a "friend present?" I mean, honestly, you guys need to get some new material. It's almost becoming- hey!"

                                            >A sizzling bolt of arcane energy impacts your arm, flung from Twilight's horn.

                                            >"Fine! You know what, fine! I'll do it!"

                                            "Ow, Twi. That kinda hurt, what-"

                                            >"Lay down."

                                            "Excuse me?"

                                            >"You heard me. Lay down."

                                            >Despite the tears still rolling down her snout, Twilight has adopted a stony expression, her horn lighting up.

                                            >"You keep hurting me and my friends with this dumb rape talk, so I'm going to put an end to it. Get on the ground."

                                            "So what, you can rape me?"

                                            >A blinding clap of lightning arcs from Twilight's horn, its jagged path intersecting with your right leg in a burst of gore.

                                            >You fall shrieking and clutch at your wound, a blackened, baseball-sized hole punched clear through your calf.

                                            >Your ears ring from the impact, the smell of ozone and charred flesh permeating the air.

                                            >"Yes. Now lay -back- and get hard. We can get you to the nurse after we finish here."

                                            >Despite your nervous system screaming at you with every movement, you find it in your best interest to comply with her request and lay back, making no attempt to stifle your sobs of pain.

                                            >Twilight advances with steady, measured steps, straddling your body until she's face to face with you.

                                            >Her nose is inches from yours, each of her shaky exhalations rolling across your pained face.

                                            >"This is what a rape "attempt" looks like Anon. Maybe now you'll shut up about them."

                                            >Without shifting her gaze, Twilight stretches a back hoof to your crotch, callously caressing your junk through your pants.

                                            >Twilight's horn lights up dangerously as she applies an increasingly painful amount of pressure to your genitals with her hoof.

                                            >"Now, I thought I told you to get hard."