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LiarVerse Primary

By DaddyIssuesAnon
Created: 2022-05-17 15:09:00
Expiry: Never
anonaie

  1. Note: Single spaces separate 'paragraphs', double spaces separate breaks in the story, and a line-break... thing separates 'chapters'.
  2.  
  3. >>Be Anon, a compulsive liar.
  4. >>Be the only human Inna'Questria.
  5. >>Not-so-accidentally make yourself out to be more than you actually are (were?).
  6. >>Did you mention that you're a lying liar who lies?
  7. >>Cause, you lie.
  8. >>Like, a lot.
  9. >>It's not your fault though!
  10. >>Well, it is, but... This is *the* opportunity you've been looking for your entire life!
  11. >>Plus, you've been working on self-improvement to live up to the expectations you've set!
  12. >>It’s all in an effort to not get caught, but still!
  13.  
  14. >>When you got here, you might’ve been a layabout piece-of-shit with only theoretical knowledge of some of the things you said you could do.
  15. >>That was when you got here, though.
  16. >>A lot of those things you claimed? Now a reality!
  17. >>You said you were known for your tracking, hunting, and outdoorsmanship.
  18. >>You busted your ass ‘learning the differences in local flora and fauna’ and going out for days at a time to little success.
  19. >>You said you were an accomplished spearman, a skilled archer, a student of the blade!
  20. >>Your numerous trips to the local Blacksmith and months of effort in your enclosed backyard have led you to be as such.
  21. >>Actually, on the topic of improvement, something changed in the transmigration.
  22. >>Those things shouldn’t have been as easy to pick up as they were.
  23.  
  24. >>You laid claim to noble heritage - granted yourself titles upon titles (some, you’re more fond of than others) and epithets upon epithets!
  25. >>You’ve at least picked up some knowledge relating to those things.
  26. >>The ones you haven’t? Forced upon you due to politics.
  27. >>No one can prove otherwise, really.
  28. >>Except for Luna.
  29.  
  30. >>Luna, who hasn’t been released from her prison yet.
  31. >>She won’t be for another year, by your reckoning.
  32. >>... Fuck.
  33. >>Looks like you’ll need to pick up lucid dreaming as well.
  34. >>What’ll you need based on what you’ve told Twilight?
  35. >>Hmm…
  36. >>War stories. Hunting down some Ohioan border hoppers. Traumatizing childhood events…
  37. >>Why couldn’t you have just said you were a clerk or something? Fuck.
  38.  
  39. Something something something Luna’s sympathetic.
  40. Something something something Canterlot Wedding? More like Changeling Massacre.
  41. Something something something Knight of the Realm.
  42. Something something something free Royal therapy? Sex therapy? Whatever.
  43. Something something something, Anon never gets caught!
  44. Something something something, Waifu Get!
  45.  
  46. ~-*-~
  47.  
  48. I was going to wait for a new thread, but, well... No.
  49.  
  50. >>Be Anon, a compulsive liar.
  51. >>Sole human Inna'Questria.
  52. >>Be a year and a half prior to the initial post.
  53. >>Be standing knee-deep in reeds and murk.
  54. >>Why?
  55. >>You're carving a clear path to the Castle of Two Sisters.
  56. >>Why?
  57. >>You need an in with Equestria.
  58. >>Best way you can think of is to retrieve artifacts and documents from the Castle and return them.
  59.  
  60. >>You've already gathered tools and basic supplies.
  61. >>The place was pretty hastily abandoned.
  62. >>Plenty to gather 'because magic'.
  63. >>Preservation spells are pretty legit, apparently.
  64.  
  65. >>Now, you're putting all those vocational classes from high school to work.
  66. >>Building a bridge.
  67. >>Well... it's more of a pier, really.
  68. >>Whatever the case, you're learning that the Everfree isn't that bad.
  69. >>It's not that different from the forests back home, actually.
  70. >>More shit to scare the piss out of you, though.
  71.  
  72. >>Still, aside from being startled more often, not much is actually willing to fuck with you.
  73. >>Just...
  74. >>Respect what's around you;
  75. >>Stand your ground;
  76. >>And keep your place as a result.
  77.  
  78. >>Fuck Cockatrice, though.
  79. >>One almost got you a couple of days ago.
  80. >>The stew you made out of it is still pulling its weight, simmering over the fire back home.
  81.  
  82.  
  83. >>Back to the matter at hand.
  84. >>This is technically week... three - Two or three - of the project.
  85. >>You've only been putting posts in the ground for three days.
  86. >>You've probably underestimated how many you'll need.
  87. >>You're only halfway through *this* stretch of swamp.
  88. >>There're three more to go before you have to focus on repairing that fucking rope bridge.
  89. >>You're shedding weight like... something that sheds a lot.
  90. >>Gone from technically obese to... probably pretty healthy?
  91. >>That might be a bit much, actually...
  92.  
  93. >>Whatever the case, there's an issue.
  94. >>You might need to visit Ponyville early.
  95.  
  96. >>Your initial plan was that you'd clear the path, then go into town to get some boxes to begin sending shit in.
  97. >>Hopefully, the local courier service would be like USPS or something, and you can go request a large number of boxes for free.
  98.  
  99. >>That was before you began driving posts, though.
  100. >>Humans weren't built to wade through swamps like this.
  101. >>You're doing it naked, to keep your clothes at least somewhat fresh.
  102. >>God help you if you develop trench foot.
  103. >>Your shit's been pruney since near the start of day one.
  104. >>You try to take regular breaks, go back and lay near a fire.
  105. >>Issue is, it's going to take months if you keep going that way.
  106.  
  107. >>It wouldn't be much of a crime to loot some of the spare bits in the Castle.
  108. >>... Right?
  109. >>Even if you take a large amount of what's present, you're still doing them a favor.
  110. >>It's not like they need what's here, regardless.
  111. >>If they did, they would've come and gotten them.
  112. >>You'll just... take some time - a few days at most - and go into town.
  113. >>Get checked over - by the local hospital or by Fluttershy.
  114. >>Go to the Boutique and commission some clothing.
  115. >>What you can think of to make it in the swampy areas.
  116. >>Hint at needing more made at a later date when you've 'secured funds'?
  117.  
  118.  
  119. >>Need a story, though.
  120. >>They probably won't just... accept you, if what you remember of canon holds true.
  121.  
  122. >>You're, uh... Anon Y. Mous.
  123. >>Anon of House Mous... of the State of West Virginia!
  124. >>...
  125. >>West Virginia?
  126. >>Doesn't sound too... stately, in the sense of being a country...
  127. >>Kanawha, maybe? Vandalia? Augusta? Allegheny?
  128. >>You'll work on it.
  129. >>So, you're Anon of House Mous of the State of... Something of the United States of America.
  130. >>A vaunted name and series of titles, to be true.
  131.  
  132. >>You were taking part in a raid into the nearby State of Ohio.
  133. >>A border dispute the federal government refused to interpret.
  134. >>You were a member of a forward combat unit. An armored scout, maybe.
  135. >>You did your job, silencing any sentries you could find before the battle could begin in earnest.
  136. >>You were moving to meet with the primary combat unit when it happened.
  137. >>Something something something magic.
  138.  
  139. >>...
  140. >>...
  141. >>Magic?
  142. >>You can’t *do* magic!
  143. >>Why would you go with something so edgy?
  144. >>Fuck, why’d it have to be in conflict?
  145. >>Why not just say who and what and where with honesty?
  146. >>Fuck!
  147.  
  148. >>...
  149. >>Okay, so… magic.
  150. >>You can’t do it because you’re something of a cripple.
  151. >>A magical Blank.
  152. >>A soldier from a world of magicians, incapable of magic.
  153. >>Kind of like Rock Lee.
  154. >>That… might work.
  155. >>You’ll need to be careful to meet any expectations you set.
  156. >>Can’t go claiming to fly or something.
  157. >>You… might be able to make it work.
  158.  
  159. >>At the least, it’ll be worth some pity points.
  160. >>The Heir Apparent to House Mous, who trained his body when his soul was unworthy.
  161. >>You kind of like the sound of that.
  162. Which one sounds good? To call West Virginia, that is.
  163. I kind of like Vandalia, myself, but? They're all historical alternatives to WV.
  164.  
  165. ~-*-~
  166.  
  167. >>Be Anon, a compulsive Liar.
  168. >>Be the sole human Inna'Questria.
  169. >>Be standing crotch deep in a stream of crystal clear water.
  170. >>This is quite an improvement from earlier in the week.
  171.  
  172. >>You're going into Ponyville today.
  173. >>Nothing you can do about it, considering the sores that have popped up on your right foot.
  174. >>Issue is, you’ve spent the last week in a dank-smelling swamp.
  175. >>GranAnon taught you never to go to the hospital while smelling like white trash.
  176. >>Even if you were white trash.
  177. >>As such, you're taking a bath in a stream near the edge of the Everfree.
  178. >>It’s very soothing, the fire in your foot seeming to seep away with every minute you sit there.
  179.  
  180. >>Your regular clothes are pretty well swamp trash at this point.
  181. >>Still leaving them to soak while you go into town, though.
  182. >>You’re wearing curtains in the meantime.
  183. >>Pretty ones, with geometric patterns all over them.
  184. >>It took hours of practice, but you can pretty well wrap them around yourself into something that doesn’t look half bad.
  185. >>You’ve also got some sandals you scrounged from bits of scrap wood and fabric.
  186. >>Plenty more comfortable than your regular shoes, out in the swamps.
  187. >>As well, you were right in how much you’d find in spare bits.
  188. >>Three purses total, sitting on the bank, after looking through a little less than half the servant’s quarters.
  189. >>Also, a walking stick you claimed from one of the willows deeper into the woods.
  190. >>You’ve hung a lantern from it.
  191. >>It looks cool.
  192. >>It helps you keep pressure off your foot
  193. >>… It looks cool.
  194. >>That’s really all that matters, isn’t it?
  195.  
  196. >>You looked at yourself in a mirror before starting the trip last night.
  197. >>Pretty based-looking, if you’re being kind to yourself.
  198. >>Like a wandering wise man.
  199. >>Or a mage.
  200. >>Or… something else that’s based.
  201. >>It’s tempting to wait until near dark to begin your trek, just so you can light the lantern and look even more based.
  202. >>(When did you start using based this much? Surely your isolation isn’t turning you *more* autistic?)
  203. >>You want to stop at Sugarcube Corner if you can, though.
  204. >>Play up the wanderer shtick.
  205.  
  206.  
  207. >>Until then, though, you need to get the lead out.
  208. >>The heat’s mostly gone from your foot by now.
  209. >>The wounds don’t look that bad, either.
  210. >>Compared to before, that is.
  211. >>What you set out to wear is dried now, too.
  212.  
  213. >>You towel off and wrap your foot.
  214. >>You don’t know enough about the outdoors to prepare some sort of herbal poultice to help with the pain or infection, sadly.
  215. >>From there, it’s all about finagling the curtains into a shape that kind of looks right.
  216. >>Cover all your bits.
  217. >>Provide storage for your purses.
  218. >>Give yourself a hood with what’s spare.
  219. >>...
  220. >>Hope and pray you’re able to commission actual clothes at some point in the near future.
  221. >>If you’re lucky, you’ll be in the hospital long enough to collect them from there.
  222.  
  223. >>Best to get this over with.
  224.  
  225. >>It's a beautiful day for first contact.
  226. >>Harmonious, even.
  227. >>Spring's sprung, wind's blowing, sun's shining.
  228. >>Your foot is only sending waves of discomfort, compared to a constant stream of agony.
  229. >>You’re stoic enough to ward off any plot hooks, regardless.
  230. >>Your first impression *won’t* be as a moaning, groaning monster. Surer than shit.
  231. >>You’re just a tall, cloaked, blood-and-sickness-smelling monster instead.
  232. >>...
  233. >>God help you.
  234.  
  235. >>...
  236.  
  237. >>Maybe it’s that you’re hobbling instead of walking or running, but the distance between Ponyville and where you’d been bathing feels… more somehow.
  238. >>This is an issue you’ve been facing regularly, actually.
  239. >>That fancy path you’re carving?
  240. >>The one that cuts through all the bullshit and is putting you in this situation to begin with?
  241. >>It’s probably going to take half a day to travel.
  242. >>The Mane 6 made that distance in, like, half that time while also dealing with all kinds of trials and tribulations to establish themselves as the Elements of Harmony.
  243. >>Such horseshit.
  244. >>Pun not intended.
  245.  
  246. >>At least it’s almost over.
  247. >>All without being spotted, too!
  248. >>...
  249. >>That might prove more of a bane than a boon, considering the town’s disposition.
  250. >>Unless they only started acting like that *after* Twiggles showed up and brought along her Monster-of-the-Week-Itis.
  251. >>That almost makes sense, logically, if a bit too meta.
  252.  
  253. ~-*-~

LiarVerse Primary

by DaddyIssuesAnon