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x by Beran
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---
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"WHAT? YOU KNEW ABOUT IT? ALL THIS TIME?"
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>"Calm down Anon, I can explain."
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"Twilight! I thought we were friends!"
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-- later --
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>Being the only human in Equestria wasn't always easy.
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>It has been what? Almost a year?
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>One year since you have first woken up in Equestria, a year since you've been kidnapped form your life.
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>Year since everything you knew was taken away form you.
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>But it didn't matter. Not for long, anyway.
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>You've discovered a new world, met a race of pastel colored horse and made new friends.
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>Or at least that's what you thought.
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>...
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>It hurts.
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>Your heart, your feelings.
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>Your alleged best friend that graciously allowed you to live in her castle has betrayed you.
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>She was not your friend and you were not her guest. She was a liar and you were... you are... her prisoner.
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>All this time you've been searching for a way home.
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>To return, to let everyone know that you were alive, or just to know that your home still exists?
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>You don't know for sure, but that didn't bother you right now, because you've finally found it, and it's clear that you have to go.
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>I's been hiding in the hoofs of your friend, former friend.
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>Bu that doesn't doesn't matter now either, you're going home.
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--later that day--
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>"Anon, please! Listen to me! It's not safe!"
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"You've been through it before."
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>"Yes, and it turned me to a human and spike to a dog. What if it turns you into a pony!"
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"Gee, Twilight that's... I've never thought of that."
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"I mean, being a pony? For the rest of my life? Can you imagine how horrifying that must be? I mean, how could anyone..."
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>"I'm not joking Anon!"
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"Well, neither am I. Do you have any idea how many things do I have to catch up on? Books, movies, cartoons, games!"
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"And all my friends probably think I'm dead! They care about me and I need to let them know that I'm a live."
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>"I care about you too."
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"..."
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"If you really mean that, you will open the damn thing."
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-- moments later --
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>OOOOOOH FUCK! WHY IS EVERYTHING MADE OF COLORS! AAAAARRRRGH!
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-- some more moments later --
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>You're blind, your head is spinning, and you're lying flat on some cold hard surface.
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>But at least the colors are finally gone.
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>Ughhh, where are you? Is this Earth?
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>Come on Anon, you know you can do it, sit up.
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>Why does your head spin so much?
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>Gooood... now open your eyes... slowly, slowly...
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>...
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>Pavement... blue sky... grass... ughhh... houses?
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>Yes... those are definitely houses.
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>Houses... with roof tiles?
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>They don't have those in Ponyville, right?
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>Well, you're not in Equestria anymore, that's for sure.
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>And that big building in front of you? that must be the Canterlot high!
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>You've never heard of town called Canterlot before Equestria, but once you'll find out what state you're in it shouldn't be a problem for you to get home.
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>However, first you need to get off the ground.
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>Just push yourself up and...
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>Wait a minute?
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>Why?
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>Why are your fingers green?
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>Nonononono, this isn't good! It's not just the fingers!
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>You shouldn't be green! you've never been green!
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>Why the fuck did you insist on coming through that portal!
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>Why didn't you listen to Twilight? She was right about this!
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>Wait... No, she wasn't.
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>You still have fingers, not hooves!
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>Let's call it a tie.
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>"Hey, are you all right? Can i help you?"
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>Who is that?... And why is he yellow?
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"No I... uhhh.. I tripped..."
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>Why is he looking at you like that? And why is his hair blue?
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>"You sure you're okay, dude?"
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"Yea.. I'm positive, thanks for asking."
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>...
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>*fhew* Anon, that was close.
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>Get of your ass and stop being so conspicuous, just try to blend in.
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-- some time later --
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>There's lots of people, and all of them different colors.
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>Red, blue, orange, magenta, green, white...
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>Not a single black person though.
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>Is that a good or a bad thing?
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>Hmm...
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>Well one thing's for sure.
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>Wherever it is you are, It's not your Earth.
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>...
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>Why did you have to be green anyway?
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-- even later --
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>You can't just keep roaming like this forever.
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>If Twilight was right, it will be a few more days before she can open the portal again.
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>You need to find a place to sleep.
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>Wasn't she supposed to have some friends around here?
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>Now, if only you could remember where did she say they lived.
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-- even more later --
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>Knock knock.
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>Please let this be the right door. Please let this be the right door. Please let this be the right door.
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>...
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>Yes!
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"Hi, I'm Anon, are you Sunset Shimmer?"
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>"Do I know you?"
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"Twilight didn't tell you about me?"
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>How typical of her, leaving you out of everything.
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"I'm Anon, the only human in..."
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>Damn, you'll need to find a new way to introduce yourself.
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>Why is she looking at you like that?
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"Anyway, I'm one of Twilight's friends, I came here from Equestria, through the portal, the same way you did."
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"I need a place to stay until the portal opens again and... I wanted to ask if I could crash in your house for a few days."
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>There must have been a better way for you to say that.
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>"Look, I don't know who you are, or what crazy things you're talking about... But I'm sorry, I want you to leave."
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>Fuck, it's all or nothing.
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"You were born as a horse, unicorn to be exact. That symbol on your shirt?
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"It appeared on your flank when you were a filly and finally found your special talent.
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"You grew up in in a castle on a side of mountain called Canterlot as a protege of princess Celestia, you..."
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>"All right, I believe you! Get in!"
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>...
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>"Don't do that again, okay? Can you imagine what would happen if someone heard you?"
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>"..."
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>"Anon, was it?"
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"Full name Anonymous, but everyone calls me just Anon."
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>"Well 'Anon', would you kindly explain to me what the heck is going on?"
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-- later that day --
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>Salty, chewy, fatty.
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>Who cares that it's a junk food?
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>You've almost forgotten how dead animals taste like.
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>Murder, has never been so delicious.
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>Every bite makes you want to go and slaughter a whole zoo.
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>Oh, how much you've missed the simplest of human pleasures.
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>even just talking to someone with two legs feels great.
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"... and then she falls right on my face, knocks me over, and we both end up on the ground."
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"I shake it off like nothing happened, and get up again. But she? She's still on the ground mumbling about me being an asshole or something."
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"So, I want to be nice, offer her hand and *snort* I'm like 'are you ok? did I hurt you'. She *cha* she *heh* she turns around and *hah*
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"and she's like 'BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!' jumps right back up the tree like a cant and starts making this weird noise like *heh* like"
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"*iiiiik*, *iiiiik*, *iiiiik* *hehehehuhahaha*"
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>"bwhahahhaha"
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"*ahaha*"
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>"*haha*"
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"So *heave* anyway... that's how I first met Rainbow Dash."
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"..."
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>"But don't tell her I told you that, she'd kill me."
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-- even later that day --
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>"It's getting late, we should go to sleep. I gave a school tomorrow and you..."
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"No thanks, I've already graduated once and I'm not interested in any of that teenage drama."
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"I'll just take a look around the city, or visit some places or something."
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"It's not like this is my first time in another dimension, remember? I can manage."
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>"Yeah, right."
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...
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>"So umm... where do you want to sleep? I don't have a guest room."
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>"My bed is big enough for two people... but... umm..."
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"Ohhh, that... don't worry about it... I'll seep on the couch."
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"As far as places to sleep on your first night go, this dimension is heavenly."
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"In Equestria I had to do with a pile of leaves and twigs."
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-- that night --
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>The couch is fine.
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>A little bit too old, but fine.
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>At least it's big enough for a human.
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>And the blanket is so soft and warm. Snuggling in it feels so comfy.
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>Nothing like those glorified towels that ponies call blankets.
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>Constantly wrapped in their own fluffy fur, those little things have no idea how to appreciate this level of softness.
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>...
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>This place is different.
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>Wherever that portal took you, it's not the Earth you came from.
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>How does that portal work anyway?
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>Why did you turn green and not into a pony?
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>Maybe it's broken?
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>What if you turn into a pony when you go back?
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>You don't want to be a pony! That was just a joke!
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>Twilight was right, coming here was stupid.
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>She could have at least warned you that people here had colors.
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>It would have tipped you off that this was the wrong dimension.
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>Fucking book horse.
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>...
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>Nah, it's not her fault, ponies have pastel colors too, it must have been completely normal to her so she just didn't mention it.
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>Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be a pony.... it could be so cool.
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>At least, flying and magic would.
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>Being an earth pony would suck.
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>...
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>What if you wouldn't be a pony at all?
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>How about a gryphon? Now THAT would be cool.
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>Not every one who's a human here is a pony in Equestria.
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>You're pretty sure you saw three guys that were supposed to be diamond dogs.
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>...
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>Ho..
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>HOLY SHIT!
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>Buddha Jesus Allah Odin! THE DOGS!
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>When Spike want through the portal he turned into a dog!
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>Which means...
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>If you were to buy a dog and bring it back to Equestria...
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>You don't even care if you're going to turn into a pony or not.
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>You're going to have your own frigging DRAGON!
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>...
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>But what breed should you get?
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>No offense Spike, but dragons are cooler with wings.
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>You can't just buy a puppy and then put it away when it doesn't grow wings.
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>It doesn't matter, dragon is a dragon, and you're not going to love yours any less just because it doesn't have wings.
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>...
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>You should really go to sleep.
by grapenut