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Same Shit Different Smell

By LegalOrganDealer
Created: 2023-08-21 00:58:50
Updated: 2023-12-17 08:10:17
Expiry: Never
rgremysterypolice

  1. >“DROP YOUR GUN GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!”
  2. >“DROP IT DROP IT FUCKING NOW!”
  3. >“ON THE GROUND NOW!”
  4. >Then, a deafening pop.
  5. >The dust hung in the air, the trapped sweat inside your clothes damply scraped against your skin. Controlled breaths, peace in the midst of chaos. It was you and your squad, against them.
  6. >The kinetic force slammed against your shield, but you moved forward. A single pop devolved into an unruly mayhem.
  7. >Keep calm.
  8. >Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
  9. >Fire.
  10. >One by one, men fell, the basement made the echoes vibrate, a continuous thrum that soaked into your bones.
  11. >What was most likely five minutes, felt far longer.
  12. >But this was your life
  13.  
  14. “TOC, this is entry. It’s all clear.”
  15. >“TOC copies, good work.”
  16. >You and your team climb upstairs, all you wanted was a shower.
  17. >As the rest of the force arrives, you hear a muffled slam. You and your immediate team tense up.
  18. >“Hello?”
  19. >A voice.
  20. >“A-Anyone?”
  21. >“I’m scared Sugar Hoof… where’s everyone else?”
  22. >Another voice, all children.
  23. “This is the police, everything’s going to be alright.”
  24. >There weren’t any locks or chains on the container. Hoffman and Lee opened the doors.
  25. >You shine a light on them, and they cover their eyes. They were chained and filthy. Though you did notice something strange. Fantastical would have been the better term.
  26. >Wings, horns, and they have an otherworldly appearance yet still somehow human.
  27. >Some The Lion the Witch And the Wardrobe shit
  28. >“Hey boss,” Guzman stared in disbelief. “Aren’t these things equestrians?”
  29. “They are. Take care of them.” You press your radio. “TOC, we found children chained up. They’re equestrian, they look about age ranging from five to thirteen.”
  30. >For a moment, he did not reply.
  31. >“This is TOC, understood, out.”
  32. >You swear you heard a sigh.
  33.  
  34. >Sugar Hoof, Long Taffy, Azure Wind, Leo Nui, on and on… those Ridiculous names you’d often hear in stupid kid television shows.
  35. >Not in an after-action report.
  36. >Hoffman and Lee entertained the children until the trauma specialist arrived. Both of them have a daughter, guess they saw her in them. You don’t even know why they’re still in your squad when they have a family…
  37. >As you write your report, you occasionally glance at the children. Horns, wings, odd ears, the whole situation was difficult to assume to be reality. Yet, here you were.
  38. >A knock, it was your squadmate Alejo
  39. >“Hey Non, finished that report yet?”
  40. “Just about.”
  41. >Alejo leaned on the wall, tossing an apple as if it was a baseball
  42. >“What a day huh?”
  43. “What, the kids with wings and horns or me stepping on dog shit when we got back?”
  44. >“Choose one, I’m feeling generous.” He took a mouthful of an apple. “What’s gonna happen to them?”
  45. “Sent back home probably. They can’t be the only case. It's the same WITH shit different smell. I don’t get paid enough to care to know that far.”
  46. >Alejo nodded. “Hey cap’n.”
  47. >Captain Briscoe, before his promotion he was a detective. He could’ve been the chief if he took the bribes. For all he complains about his ex-wives, the gas, food, age, he was the best leader you could ask for.
  48. >“Am I interrupting something ladies?”
  49. >“Nah.”
  50. “No, you need something captain?”
  51. >“No, just wanted to get away from the sounds.” He shuts the door behind him. “I’ve had enough children screaming from my daughters when they were teenagers.”
  52. >“When’s the specialist coming?”
  53. >You blew out a sigh. “He won’t be, someone else is.”
  54. “Homeland?”
  55. >“I wish,” Briscoe said with a scoff. “Someone from the other side is coming tomorrow. They’ll be kept here and I’ll have them on watch.”
  56. >Alejo looked back at you with a shit-eating grin
  57. >“What a day huh?”
  58.  
  59. >Morning
  60. >LSPD’s department was mostly shit. The only two things that weren’t however were the equipment and training facilities.
  61. >At the briefing room, you see two equestrians. One with blue eyes, orange hair with yellow streaks, and the other with blond hair and pink streaks.
  62. >Swear to Christ, why do they look so fucking weird? And are those wings?
  63. >“There he is.”
  64. “Captain?”
  65. >“These are the experts, Agent Copper Top and Agent Bombshell.”
  66. >“Pleasure.”
  67. >You shake Copper Top’s hand, a firm professional handshake
  68. >“H-Hello. My name is Seashell actually.”
  69. >The flustered one gingerly shook your hand, then went on to stare at the joined hand
  70. >“Bombshell.”
  71. >Copper Top elbowED her rib. Seashell quickly released your hand.
  72. >“S-Sorry, I never held a-”
  73. >Again but you saw the force being harder than last time.
  74. >“Anyways, Equestria and Her Majesty thank you and your team for rescuing them from foal trafficking.” Copper Top clears her throat. “Child trafficking.”
  75. “Right. Are you here to pick them up?”
  76. >Copper Top nodded
  77. >“Yes, but I hear these criminals aren’t still stopped due to the lack of assistance.”
  78. >A bitter fact, one that you knew too much of.
  79. “Yeah, Los Suenos isn’t a place people give a shit about. But it’s home.”
  80. >“Well said, that’s why Princess Celestia sent us. I don’t know how hyuman politics work. But it’s clear both hyuman and equestrian foals are being trafficked. Your country is one of few place that’ll let us intervene. Guess her wisdom’s beyond me…”
  81. “So what now?”
  82. >“Bombshell will take them back and after that we’ll talk about where to strike next. We’ll come with you next time.”
  83. “I’m guessing this is something I can't refuse?”
  84. >They all nodded
  85. “Fuck my life.”
  86.  
  87. >Another report of child abuse. Out of all squads in LSPD SWAT, it was your team that had to take this. Finders keepers bullshit. What was worse was the two Equestrians insisted they come with you. You didn’t know how they operate, how they react to stress, they were wild cards that you didn’t want to take.
  88. >Worse, they refused to attend practice or even come to the briefing before the raid. Now, they arrived in some medieval armor and weapons, coated in sleek black paint.
  89. “What the fuck is that?”
  90. >“It’s my service weapon.” Coppertop said.
  91. “That’s a sword and a shield.”
  92. >“Yes, my service weapons. It’s no different from your poppers.”
  93. “This is a gun.”
  94. >“And this is a sword and a shield.”
  95. >Bringing a knife— a sword to a gunfight. Though you heard Equestrians were tough people. Almost otherworldly. Though you doubted they were bullet proof. The last thing you needed was two foreign agents dead. How did their world work without guns?
  96. “Is the edge dulled?”
  97. >Coppertop’s nose crinkle with frustration and confusion. “Of course not.”
  98. >You pinch the bridge of your nose. “We’re not here to kill suspects if we don’t have to.”
  99. >“I’ll cut their arm off then, your poppers are no different. Listen, colt. I know how to do my job, I’ve been in Her Majesty’s Magisters for seven years. Besides, we’ll be in the front anyways, those bullets don't even hurt us as much.”
  100. “And I’ve been in the force for eight. I don’t know how it works in your world but this is Earth, and we go by Earth’s standard. You follow my orders, got it?”
  101. >“I’m not going to—”
  102. >“We will.” Seashell said. “And we’re both thankful for the joint mission. Right, Coppertop?”
  103. >Coppertop clenched her jaw shut then nodded. “We’ll follow your lead.”
  104.  
  105. >21 Darabont Avenue, 212 Park 2147
  106. “Fall in.”
  107. >Your squad stack on Entry 1. Like practiced, open, bang, clear, with you in the lead as always.
  108. >James opened the door and Hoffman threw the flashbang.
  109. >After the loud pop you enter first and check the corner. The rest of your squad follow.
  110. >The first two suspects taken by surprise are stunned.
  111. “ON YOUR KNEES NOW! DO IT NOW!”
  112. >They comply quickly.
  113. >First area clear, now to—
  114. >“Five-o!”
  115. >A door opened with a slam but you fire first, dropping the first suspect.
  116. “TOC we got a suspect down.”
  117. >“Roger that.”
  118. >Seashell walked in front of you. Unlike Coppertop she was armed with an ax. “I’ll handle the second floor, Anon. Coppertop can take the basement.”
  119. >“Blue team, go with Seashell. Have her as your pointman. James, you’re in charge. Red, with me.”
  120. >Coppertop raised her shield and moved downstairs steadily. The sewage smell and dampness deepened as you descended further.
  121. >“Uh Seashell, what are you doing?” You hear James from the comms.
  122. >“Stay here. I’ll take care of the rest.” Seashell said.
  123. >What were they doing on the second floor?
  124. >“GET BACK!”
  125. >Fuck. Damn it. Get your head in the fucking game! The woman held a gun to the kid’s head, an equestrian boy it looks like.
  126. “Put the gun down now!”
  127. >“Fuck you pig!” The woman spat. “I swear to fucking God I’ll blow his head I fucking swear!”
  128. “You can still fix this. If you let go of the child you’ll get a lighter sentence.”
  129. >You see Coppertop sheathe her sword. “Put the colt down. I’m gonna ask you once.”
  130. >“Fuck you!”
  131. >Her hand slowly went to her back, reaching for a dagger. Is she trying to escalate?
  132. “Coppertop sto—”
  133. >Suddenly, a dagger appeared deep in her arm in an instant. Almost as if it materialized in her skull. But you see Coppertop’s arm slowly retract back. Then you noticed it, the suspect was not moving, frozen as if time stopped. Coppertop approached the frozen woman and pried her arm off of the boy, he clung to Coppertop.
  134. >“This is Seashell, the second floor is clear.”
  135. >The first floor, basement and the second floor were already clear? You didn’t hear a damn thing, what the fuck just happened?
  136. >“Get the foals to safety, I’ll take care of the scum.” Coppertop broke the lock on the cage and opened it.
  137. >You, Seashell, and your squad regrouped. After having the children evacuated to the medical personnel on the site, you waited outside for Coppertop. Seashell was next to you waiting for her partner.
  138. >“S-Sorry about Coppertop. I know she can be a bit… stubborn.”
  139. >You shrugged. “As long as she can be professional when it matters. I’m not bothered by it.”
  140. >“She’s there when it matters. There’s no one else I would have watching my back.”
  141. “By the way, she had this throwing knife that stopped a suspect from moving, what was that?”
  142. >“Oh those? They’re paralyzers, kinda like an emergency scroll. Though you have to be really good at using them. I’m not suited for precision unfortunately. The best I can do are javelins.”
  143. “Javelins. You use javelins in your world’s police force.”
  144. >“Yep, or magic. Why?”
  145. “No… it’s nothing.” You sighed, no point in trying to understand a foreign world. “So when’s Coppertop coming back?”
  146. >And on que, Coppertop returned, dragging the unconscious suspect by her hair.
  147.  
  148. >Be Seashell
  149. >Earth made no sense at all whatsoever. Men acted like women, and women acted like men! They dressed like a bunch of dykes and talked like them too!
  150. >Earth sounded so nice. A world where gender roles are reversed? Where men want to have sex like a mare in heat? Sign her the buck up!
  151. >But no.
  152. >It was nothing like that. Bon Bon was right. You should have waited to see if Earth was worth volunteering for it.
  153. >“Finished with the report yet?”
  154. “Almost.”
  155. >Thirteen foals this month. All with signs of sexual abuse for both fillies and colts. The very thoughts made her stomach boil in rage. In Equestria, if they disappeared or arrived beaten to a pulp no one would have batted an eye. Even if they ask, the flimsiest excuse was accepted. Tartarus, they would even buy her a cider.
  156. >Earth?
  157. “He sure was mad…”
  158. >“That colt Anon?” Coppertop said with a sneer. “Yeah, couldn’t untwist his ball bra that haughty prick. What was wrong with beating up a scum?”
  159. “You broke her jaw and she had skull fractures.”
  160. >“Not my fault hyuman females are fragile.”
  161. “Tops…”
  162. >“She was trafficking foals, Bombshell. I didn’t hit any of the colts so why was he so upset?” Coppertop said.
  163. “Because things are different here, remember?”
  164. >“Spare me the lecture. Females in this world are a disgrace.”
  165. >Again, this was a cultural difference. Hyumans tended to have a very strict adherence to these things. But Coppertop wasn’t the most flexible gal. Celestia bless her but she was too steeped in her ways, probably due to her family being a line of soldiers or law enforcers.
  166. >Commander Anon was no different. Protocols mattered, down to the very letter. A no hay man. Almost like her father, a strict house husband.
  167. >The moment they got back to the headquarters, he let Coppertop have it.
  168. “I’m surprised you didn’t say anything back.”
  169. >Coppertop shrugged. “I tuned him out. He’ll forget about it tomorrow when he’s gossipping with his friends.”
  170. >A scroll burst in a small fire, Coppertop caught the scroll and opened it.
  171. “What does it say?”
  172. >Coppertop glared at the scroll “High Magister wants to see us. It can’t be because of what I did right? Bombshell?”
  173. >Damn it Tops…

Same Shit Different Smell

by LegalOrganDealer

This Doesn't Count

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