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Bootlegs Anonymous: Confidants

By Castafae
Created: 2023-08-25 05:13:19
Updated: 2023-09-26 21:49:11
Expiry: Never

  1. >You hum a light tune as you waltz your way down the hall, taking the time to do a little twirl before entering a side room through a thin bead curtain.
  2. >Oh how you love theatrics, but... Obviously no one is paying attention to your show!
  3. >Eh, it is what it is.
  4. >You scan over the chatty room of little ones with a lazy smile until you land on a white filly with a floofy yellow mane, all gussied up in a frilly little pink dress.
  5. >She sits atop a table, wiggling her hoofs as she rocks out to a song only she can hear.
  6. >The punch and cookies by the door are calling your name...
  7. >She gives you an excited wave as you approach and as if by clockwork, she pours you a cup of that wondrously fruity nectar.
  8. "Hey hey Jamboree, what's the motion of the ocean?"
  9. >She quietly extends the cup, which you take in your magical grasp and bring up to your lips.
  10. >Ahh... ambrosia.
  11. >"Everything's been peachy, Conny! Today's meeting has been super duper fun! We talked about cats and dogs and getting stuck in pickle jars..."
  12. "Pickle jars?"
  13. >Jambo giggles. "Mmhm! Tawny Taper just finished up telling us about how he fell into a pickle jar he was trying to open and..."
  14. >As Jamboree rambles on, you glance over to the crowd of little ponies and tilt your head.
  15. >Next to a little caped pony sitting on a tiny beanbag was a pale pink mare with a rather unkempt white mane which made it pretty hard to see her eyes, but you're pretty sure they're baby blue.
  16. "Hey... I think one of your friends had a growth spurt..."
  17. >Jambo scoots a little closer and leans over to you, whispering.
  18. >"That's Nursery Rhythm, she is- I mean- *was* a nurse!"
  19. "Like- like an actual nurse?"
  20. >Jamboree nods a little. "But she said she had a teensy incident and didn't want to be one anymore..."
  21. >Geez, it's not like Jambo to be this vague...
  22. "Who'd she come with? I don't remember seeing her on Bright's attendance sheet..."
  23. >"She just sorta showed up outta the blue! I honestly didn't expect anyone new today so I didn't have any goodie bags prepared..."
  24. "So how'd she wind up here? Don't you think she'd want to be around ponies her size?"
  25. >"Well, we *did* try that, it was just... hard on her. She's very nervous. She's been fine here, though! Maybe it reminds her of her old job? She worked with kiddos."
  26. >You guess she'd be more comfortable around the little guys then.
  27. "I think I get it. I just wanted to make sure she's comfy, you know?"
  28. >"I totally understand, Conny! She was having a rough time fitting in, so I offered her to join us."
  29. >You watch the nursey mare fidget with her forehooves as she listens intently to her wall-eyed neighbor talk about some sort of elaborate contraption she made.
  30. >As the small mare ends her story with a cheesy joke about kitchen appliances, Rhyme claps along with everypony else.
  31. >"Thank you, Malt, that was very nice. Next up is... Miss Nursery Rhyme!"
  32. >Even without seeing her eyes, you can tell they've widened.
  33. "Are you sure that's-"
  34. >"Shhh... Let her try, Conny!"
  35.  
  36. >Rhyme looks around a bit and then points to herself with a shaky hoof.
  37. >"...Me?"
  38. >Her voice was soft and mellow. You could see her being quite good at lullabies.
  39. >The little mare sitting in the middle of the room nods and gestures at Rhyme.
  40. >"Yep! Don't worry, though. It's okay if you can't think of anything to talk about."
  41. >"I... Okay."
  42. >Nursery clears her throat and attempts a smile. It's awkward, but she's certainly trying.
  43. >"Hello everyone... I'm N-N-Nur- Uhm... Nursery Rhyme and I... I'm not actually g-good at rhyming despite my name..."
  44. >She trails off into a nervous and ever so quiet laugh before giving an awfully formal bow.
  45. >"It's nice to... meet you all."
  46. >The little caped mare next to Nursery prods her side with a hoof and she looks down at her.
  47. >"It's nice to meet you too, Nursery! I'm Chestnut Surprise!"
  48. >Rhyme gives a small wave, despite being right next to her. "H-hello there. I liked your story... It was very sweet."
  49. >Chestnut grins. "Literally! I had frosting in my mane for like... a day!"
  50. >Chestnut gives Rhyme an inquisitive look. "Do you have any stories you'd like to share? Being a nurse must have been really neat!"
  51. >Nursery blinks. "Stories...? Oh uhm... I can think of something..."
  52. >She fidgets with her scarf for a while, deep in thought. Soon enough... her head starts to droop.
  53. >Is she having second thoughts?
  54. >You can hear Jamboree mumble some sort of encouragement, her tail swishing back and forth.
  55. >Man, Jambo is making you want to root for her as well...
  56. "C'mon now..."
  57. >Finally, Nursery lifts her head up.
  58. >"I-I have a story..."
  59. >You swiftly cover Jamboree's mouth with your clipboard before she can start celebrating.
  60. "Shhh..."
  61. >"Mmf mhm mm!"
  62. "Well, the horseshoe is on the other hoof, eh? Hush!"
  63. >Nursery gestures at the little mare in the middle of the room. "Do I... need to sit in the m-middle, too?"
  64. >Bubbly Beaker, the group's host, shakes her head. "You can stay where you are if you'd like."
  65. >"Okay then... uhm..." Nursery takes a deep breath.
  66. >"There once was a little.... Ewe." She nods to herself. "Yes a uhm- a ewe."
  67. >"Now, that ewe wasn't particularly interesting or talented... but she cared for her lambs very very much..."
  68. >Rhyme idly brushes her tail as she speaks.
  69. >"No matter what, she told them that she would keep them safe, that if anything was wrong, she'd... fix it."
  70. >Her ears start to droop.
  71. >"But she knew she really couldn't... she was just a ewe after all."
  72. >She takes a deep breath.
  73. >"One of her lambs had... problems. The problems grew and grew but the ewe kept praying that it would get better but it... didn't. None of the farmer's remedies worked so all the ewe could do was... be there for her. The ewe gave her lots of love and care until one m-morning..."
  74. >Her words catch in her throat.
  75. >"She didn't wake up."
  76. >Rhyme scoots away from the circle with a sniffle, her head lowered.
  77. >"T-that was an awful story, I'm- I'm sorry..."
  78. >She puts her head in her hooves and shrinks down.
  79. >"I-I'm so so sorry..."
  80.  
  81. >Chestnut trots over and gingerly sets a hoof on Nursery's flank. seeing that she's too small to get anywhere near her shoulder.
  82. >"...Rhyme?"
  83. >Nursery hesitantly lifts her head up just enough to look at Chestnut.
  84. >"Is the ewe... you?"
  85. >You watch Rhyme's lower lip quiver as she nods slowly.
  86. >"I... I t-thought If I pretended, I could talk about it easier... But it- it still hurts a lot..."
  87. >Chestnut motions her down to her level and starts whispering in Rhyme's ear. You can't hear what she's saying, but whatever it is, it starts to make Rhyme's chest heave and teardrops begin to fall from her obstructed face.
  88. >You lean over to Jamboree, who's toting a sympathetic expression.
  89. "Did you... know about this?"
  90. >Jambo shakes her head. "I knew she had some baggage, I just didn't know what it was..."
  91. >Jamboree slides off the table with a stretch, her usual cheery demeanor subdued.
  92. >"I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure she's a runaway. If I go by what she told me, she was just wandering around until she came across one of the BA fliers and followed the signs..."
  93. "Jeez..."
  94. >Runaways are always trouble...
  95. >...Thought the runaway.
  96. >You roll your eyes at your own thought process.
  97. >That's really nice of you, Conny. A real BA representative through and through...
  98. >Now that you're done kicking your own ass, you settle your thoughts on Nursery.
  99. >If she doesn't have anywhere to go... Maybe you could talk to Miss L? Hmm... Maybe Mister C is a better option, he knows how to deal with runaways after all.
  100. >She'd be a great fit with Waltz and Jive, those two are almost like friggin' therapy ponies...
  101. >Are therapy ponies a thing? Eh, probably.
  102. >You give Jambo an affirming nod.
  103. "I'll see what I can do. If nothing works out tonight, do you mind her hunkering down in the lounge?"
  104. >Jamboree smiles. "Not at all! This isn't a new situation, you know."
  105. "Of course! I was one of those 'situations'."
  106. >"Hehe a big ol' heap of situations! You really improved, Conny."
  107. >You huff and ruffle her mane, which elicits a giggle from the little party filly.
  108. "Aw c'mon Jambo, I already agreed to help, you don't gotta butter me up..."
  109. >"Don't need to! You already came pre-buttered."
  110. "Are you calling me soft? I'm the one with the magic here... I could twirl you in the air like a pizza, Jams!"
  111. >"Heh, try me!"
  112. >You narrow your eyes at her and then mimic her previous 'heh'.
  113. "I'll get you later, punk."
  114. >You give her a nudge with your flank and then focus back on Rhyme.
  115. >In the short time you were goofing off, a few other little ponies had come over to console her.
  116. >Her cheeks are tear-stained, but she looks a lot less bummed than before.
  117. >You give Jambo a brief poke on the side.
  118. "Guess I should go introduce myself, right? I gotta make a good impression on our newest member."
  119. >You leisurely stroll over to Nursery, who only notices you once you're nearby.
  120. >You sit down in front of her and smile warmly.
  121. "Feeling better, champ?"
  122. >She gives you a timid smile of her own.
  123. >"A-a little bit..."
  124.  
  125. >You extend a hoof, which she glances at with a perplexed tilt of the head.
  126. "Hoofshake! ...Handshake?"
  127. >"Oh! Sorry..." She awkwardly fumbles with your hoof until she gets a good grip on it and wiggles it around a little before setting her hooves back onto the ground, mildly flustered.
  128. "Hmm... I'm gonna do something, don't panic."
  129. >"What do you mean by tha- Eep!"
  130. >You swiftly lean over to her and part her mane before she can stop you, revealing her eyes and rapidly reddening face.
  131. >Ah, you see now.
  132. >Her eyes were locked on you, but one was a little… off course. Not by much, but enough that you could tell she would be self conscious of it.
  133. >You brush a hoof against her cheek and smile.
  134. "There you are!"
  135. >She sputters a little in protest, but doesn't do much besides gawk at you.
  136. “You know… I’ve got a friend who’d love to meet you. But uh- we’ve got other things to discuss.”
  137. >You can just imagine how excited Waltz would be to meet somepony like herself.
  138. >As Nursery continues to stare blankly at you, Jamboree quietly gets the attention of all the loitering little ones around her and ushers them over to Beaker, who was now munching on a cookie way too big for her by the table Jambo was sitting on.
  139. >A distraction! Good job, Jams...
  140. >Rhyme snaps out of her stupor and averts her eyes. “You didn’t need to do that, you could have just asked…”
  141. “Well… I’m just a big fan of getting into other ponies' personal space, ya know?”
  142. >”I-I see… uhm…”
  143. >You wave a hoof dismissively.
  144. “I’m just messing with you! You can brush it back in place if you want.”
  145. >Her eyes scan the now nearly vacant room and then land on you once more.
  146. >”I…. I guess this is okay.”
  147. >She swallows dryly and her ears droop.
  148. >"I uhm- I saw you standing around... Are you... Are you here to make me... go home?"
  149. >Not in the slightest.
  150. "That depends, do you have somewhere to go?"
  151. >Her ears are now flattened against her head. "I... I don't know."
  152. "I heard you worked over at the hospital over yonder... Saint Michael’s General, right?"
  153. >She nods curtly. “I worked in the children’s wing. I even helped out in the nursery from time to time…”
  154. “Why’d you leave?”
  155. >She flinches and you instinctively put your hoof lightly on her chest. A trick you learned from Ol’ Five-O.
  156. >Cool dude for a police pony…
  157. “It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”
  158. >She mumbles her answer first, but notices and clears her throat. “I… I guess I already told everyone, kinda…”
  159. >She lowers her head, her mane falling back into place again. “I… I failed and… and it didn’t seem to matter.”
  160.  
  161. “What do you mean?”
  162. >”They all moved on… They acted like she never existed in the first place.”
  163. >She lifts her head again. “Everything that was Marie just… vanished. Her bed, her bear… herself.”
  164. >”I… I don’t understand. Why- Why doesn’t anyone else seem affected? I… I remember her. From the moment she was admitted to the second she… left.”
  165. >It’s nearly silent now besides you and her, if you had to guess, Jams and the mini crew probably left to give you two some privacy.
  166. >You get up briefly and settle yourself next to Rhyme.
  167. >You’ve never had to deal with something like this, but at least you could try.
  168. “It sounds like you really cared about her.”
  169. >”I stayed with her as much as I could. She didn’t have anyone else. I… I was there when she fell asleep. I remember it so vividly.”
  170. >Nursery gestures a hoof to nowhere in particular. “She asked me if I could sing her a song. She- she liked my singing, even if I didn’t really think I was that good…”
  171. >Rhyme vacantly stares up at the ceiling. “I didn’t know many songs, so I uhm… I sang a christmas carol I could remember. She- She really liked it.”
  172. >”After that I talked and talked to her until she got sleepy, but… I felt like something was wrong. I felt like I needed to… to say goodbye.”
  173. >Rhyme makes a noise that you can’t quite call a sniffle, but it’s certainly just as sad.
  174. >”I held her hand and told her I- I loved her and that I’d see her in the morning a-and she looked so- so calm…”
  175. >She’s starting to shake.
  176. >”I stayed with her all night since I didn’t have anyone else to watch. I was… assigned to her. I remember falling asleep next to her bed a-and… and when I woke up… she was gone. I sat and stared at her face for at least a half hour. When someone finally came into the room I just… fell apart.”
  177. >Nursery tries to brush some mane out of her face, but it simply goes back into place.
  178. >”Everything was a blur after that and once I came to, I was in the hallway and one of the actual nurses was sitting with me. He said that I had a panic attack. I don’t remember it, but I believe him. My head hurt and I still felt awful…”
  179. >She shrinks down a little. “He said it was natural. That these things happen. That we’re just supposed to… accept it, no matter how much it hurts, but I… couldn’t. It broke me.”
  180. >”I did my best to keep going despite it all, I was still a… nurse, after all.”
  181. >She turns to you, her shaking much more intense. “But I’m not, am I? I’m just some pony they keep around to make the children feel better. I’m not there to help, I was just there to make them feel happy.” She stumbles over her words for a while. “...A-and I loved it. I loved making them happy and seeing them smile and they were the only ones to treat me like- like a friend and I really did want to keep them safe b-but I…”
  182. >Nursery starts to break down. “I couldn’t do anything! She died and all I could do was *sit* there!”
  183. >She slumps over onto your side, stammering and sobbing.
  184. >You wrap a foreleg around her to hold her up.
  185. >Keep her company, Conny.
  186.  
  187. >Soon enough, Nursery’s shaking subsidies and her tears dry up, and all that she can manage is the occasional sniffle as she leans on you, her forelegs tucked closely to her chest.
  188. “You never got the chance to grieve properly, huh?”
  189. >She tries to open her mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, she simply shakes her head.
  190. >She looks utterly drained, physically and emotionally.
  191. >You squeeze her a little.
  192. “Losing someone is… hard. It’s a process and it might take a while for you to feel like anything is in any way normal again, but… You’ll make it. Just go through the motions and let it out until then…”
  193. >Rhyme shifts her weight enough to look at you. Her mane was mostly to one side now, so all you could see was a single puffy eye.
  194. >In a way, this was a little funny, considering that she’s basically in your face, but you're pretty used to being smothered, so it’s no biggie.
  195. >If it makes her feel better, then it’s cool.
  196. >You freeze up as you feel a pair of hooves wrap around your barrel.
  197. >You glance down and see Rhyme giving you a rather awkward hug, one that mostly involved her stuffing her face in your side.
  198. >She mutters a muffled ‘thank you’ and after a solid minute, slowly lets go.
  199. >...But you’re not having it.
  200. >You scoop her up into a hug of your own before she can completely disengage, eliciting another short ‘eep!’ out of her before she settles down into a nervous giggle.
  201. >With how much she snuggles into you, you guess she really needed it.
  202. >No wonder those kiddos love her. She’s soft as hell and sweet to boot…
  203. >You’re confident she’ll bounce back sooner or later.
  204. >Now thoroughly hugged out, you let go and give her a playful prod in the side.
  205. “Just try not to rush things, alright? You’re a nurse! You know healing takes time.”
  206. >She gives you a small smile. “I understand… uhm…”
  207. >Nursery narrows her eyes. “I- I don’t think I asked for your name…”
  208. >She gives you a deep bow, which is a little awkward seeing that she’s sitting.
  209. >”I’m Nursery Rhyme.”
  210. >She’s quite the formal mare…
  211. >Once she brings her head back up, you point at yourself and grin.
  212. “Constellation Cradle at your service! You can call me Conny, though. Everyone else does and it’s uh- it’s kind of a mouthful…”
  213. >”Ooo… I like that name. Very fitting.”
  214. “How so?”
  215. >She pauses to think for a moment.
  216. >”You’re very patient, like a uhm- a mother?”
  217. >Well that’s a first.
  218. >You guess you do like kids… Kinda.
  219. >“…Were you a nurse too?”
  220. >Why would she… Ah, the ‘cradle’ bit.
  221. >You chuckle a little.
  222. “Ehhh… no. I did work with people though, just not… health.”
  223. >”Oh, okay. What did you do then?”
  224. “Posed for photos and stuff… It was a pretty good gig I guess…”
  225. >You trail off as you realize what you’re absentmindedly talking about.
  226. >”Like a model?”
  227. >You glance over to Rhyme, who was watching you inquisitively.
  228. “Yeah…. Like a uh- like a model.”
  229. >Let’s just leave it at that…
  230.  
  231. >You get up and stifle a yawn. As you do, Rhyme follows suit and adjusts her scarf.
  232. >”It’s getting late, I guess? I haven’t been keeping track of time since I got here…”
  233. “More or less, yeah. People and ponies alike are going to start going home and all that’ll be left are the residents.”
  234. >”Residents?”
  235. >You lazily attempt to mimic the sound of a party popper with your mouth.
  236. “Jamboree, Beaker, and a few other hosts bunk here during the night. Some rotate, some are always here.”
  237. >”I see.”
  238. >As you start walking towards the door, you lightly push a pile of small beanbags, waking up the little mare who was dozing amongst them.
  239. >”Bwuh?”
  240. “Raspberry, the meeting's over.”
  241. >She blinks a few times and then lazily tumbles out of her cozy abode.
  242. >”I really should get some of these for my room… they’re wonderful…”
  243. >Raspberry Pinch drags herself out of the room and into the hall, mumbling vaguely tired nonsense all the way.
  244. >Nursery gives her a small wave as she disappears.
  245. >”Good night and uhm… sweet dreams.”
  246. “Trust me, she will.”
  247. >You turn to Nursery and nod.
  248. “So is your mind set?”
  249. >She tilts her head.
  250. “On not going back.”
  251. >”Oh I…” She sighs. “I don’t know if I deserve to be there anymore…”
  252. >You face her fully and put a hoof on her chest.
  253. ”I know you think you failed her, but it was out of your control. You did everything you could and because of you, she wasn’t alone.”
  254. >She nods slowly..
  255. “I know you don’t think you’re worthy or whatever, but you can’t give up yet. There’s so many kids that will need you and I bet there’s certainly a few there that are currently wondering where their friend went. What you do is just as important as the other nurses and you should take pride in that. Life is bumpy and full of heartache, but you can help those kids through it just as much as they can with you.”
  256. >”I-I…”
  257. >You take your hoof from her chest and part her mane once more.
  258. >As you stare into her eyes, you lean in and smile warmly.
  259. “You love them, right? Your kids?”
  260. >Her ears perk up and she nods fervently, her eyes locked with yours. ‘I- I do! I really really do…”
  261. >You pull her into another hug.
  262. “Then try, try again, Nursery.”
  263. >She shakily returns the hug and laughs quietly.
  264. >”I… I really made a mess of things, didn’t I?”
  265. >You give her one last firm squeeze and the two of you let go.
  266. “It happens to the best of us, dude. Don’t let it get you down.”
  267. >She shuffles in place. “Do you think they’ll… let me come home?”
  268. >Hmph… even if you have convinced her, you’re not sure what the hospital would have to say about all this…
  269.  
  270. “I think tonight… you should get some rest. We can get in touch with the hospital in the morning.”
  271. >"You mean... stay here?"
  272. >You nod.
  273. "Yep! But I... I don't think I could live with myself if I made you sleep in the lounge. I've done it before and I don't recommend it unless you've got someone else to use as a pillow."
  274. >Jambo's mane is like one of those fancy freaking memory foam pillows when she lets it down...
  275. >”Where should I go then?”
  276. >Huh, good question...
  277. >...Annnd you've got an answer!
  278. >You shimmy past her and part the bead certain with a smile.
  279. “You’ll bunk with me! If you’re hungry, I got some leftover Maccas pancakes in the fridge I could heat up. It's not exactly gourmet cuisine, but it'll fill your tummy. "
  280. >She takes a step forward and matches your smile. “Thank you Conny… I’m uhm- I’m starving.”
  281. >She definitely looks like she hasn't eaten in days. Probably from all that stress over her friend...
  282. “Heh, I’d imagine. You look positively pale.”
  283. >She giggles. “I just look like that normally, silly!”
  284. “Hey, you never know! Maybe if I give you some shrimp, you’ll turn hot pink!”
  285. >”That sounds a tad tacky! I think I prefer myself as… myself.”
  286. “As one should, Rhyme. As one should…”
  287. >You gesture her over.
  288. "C'mon now! You'll dig my digs I hope. If you don't think you can sleep, I've got this sweet little TV that has a built-in DVD player! I've got all the classics! ...Some aren't originals, but they play just the same!"
  289. >You continue to rattle off all the features of your humble domicile as Rhyme nods along, a little lost, but happy to listen all the same.
  290.  
  291. >As you trot down the hall with Rhyme in tow, you spot a few straggling members wearing odd fantasy garb, chatting away about some recent adventure they just finished.
  292. >Just as you're about to pass them, a lanky greenish-gray mare in an oversized wizard robe waves you down, her small wings ruffling with excitement.
  293. >"Conny! Hey, Conny!"
  294. >You stop in front of her suddenly, resulting in Rhyme lightly bumping into your rump.
  295. >She lets out a hushed 'sorry', which you respond to with an equally quiet 'it's alright.'
  296. >You give the jittery mage mare a nod.
  297. "Heya Slate! How'd the game go?"
  298. >She lets out a nervous yet excited laugh and grins.
  299. >"We scoured the dune-planes of Equinenox and finally tracked down The Burgeoning Dawn's Shadow... Lu'a Cel'es! I had just enough components to cast Blade of Disaster and struck her down with a flurry of blows with the help of Limey's bardic inspiration!" Slate gives her sweater clad sister a side hug, which elicits a sleepy protest, before turning back to you. "It was super fun! You should have heard all of the cool stuff Starry came up with!"
  300. >The tall unicorn mare wearing a heavy cloak next to her blushes profusely. "Hehehe... It was nothin'..."
  301. "Sounds like you guys had a great time! I really gotta join again one of these days..."
  302. >You pause.
  303. "...Blade of Disaster doesn't require material spell components. It's just verbal and somatic."
  304. >You wave a hoof and blow a raspberry.
  305. "And then you start stabbing."
  306. >Starry sticks her tongue out. "It's *my* rules, Stella! Wouldn't you say it's a tad more rewarding to cast a ninth level spell that you actually had to-"
  307. >Limesalt interrupts Starry by sticking a granola bar into her jabbering mouth.
  308. >"Mmh mnf!"
  309. >"Shhh... You get argumentative when you're hungry..."
  310. >Starry chews the bar with silent resignation while Slate snickers.
  311. "Anyway uh...
  312. >You step aside and gesture towards Nursery, who blinks in surprise.
  313. "This right here is Nursery Rhyme! She's staying the night."
  314. >Limesalt stifles a yawn and then waves a little. "We're the BA game guild, or at least like, three of the guild. Everyone else went home already." Lime chuckles lightly. "None of em' have the patience for a good ol' fashion game of DND, but hey, I'm not complaining. I like the quiet."
  315. >Slate immediately trots up to Rhyme and smiles. "That being said... We're always looking for new players! I've got some pre-made characters if it's your first time but I think making your own is an essential newbie experience! For example, I'm Golden Fleece, The Exiled Spellblade! I was born in the lowly slums of-"
  316. >Lime covers Slate's mouth with a hoof and shakes her head.
  317. >"Bedtime, remember?"
  318. >Once she lets go, Slate sighs, disappointed.
  319. >"Okay, no backstory... Uhm, It was nice meeting you! Like I said, just give us a holler and we'll get you set up lickity split!"
  320. >"Bye Conny!"
  321. > As they start to leave, Nursery turns to you with a perplexed look.
  322. >"I didn't even get to say anything..."
  323. "You get used to it..."
  324.  
  325. >You continue on your magical journey to your room, occasionally passing more loitering people and ponies, but none you knew well enough to stop for, thankfully.
  326. >As you walk, Rhyme's interest in the guildmates' game is made apparent.
  327. >"...That 'Dee-ehn-dee' thing sounded kind of fun... Is it, Conny?"
  328. "Oh it's loads of fun if you have an imagination. I had some pretty fine romps back in the day."
  329. >"Are you... implying you don't play with them anymore?"
  330. >You chuckle lightly.
  331. "Kinda. Not that I don't like em' or anything, I just haven't had the time to get as invested as I once did."
  332. >"Were you a uhm... a 'spellblade', like... Slant?"
  333. "Slate, and no. I was a most pious paladin of order!"
  334. >It was a completely ironic choice at first, but you started to really enjoy playing Briar Crown...
  335. >It's a shame she died, but at least you took out the ultimate big bad before she could keel over! That grumpy mare was a joy to act out.
  336. >When you do wind up playing again, you should try out a cleric next...
  337. >Maybe she could be Briar's sister?
  338. >"Conny...?"
  339. >You slow down a little and crane your neck to glance at her briefly.
  340. "Huh? What's the commotion, Rhyme?"
  341. >She almost looks embarrassed.
  342. >"Do you uhm... Do you think they noticed my eye?"
  343. >You stop walking and let out a little 'heh'.
  344. "I knew you'd start worrying about that sooner or later."
  345. >You turn around and give her a reassuring smile.
  346. >You point a hoof at her, which makes her tilt her head a little.
  347. "You have your flaws..."
  348. >And then point at yourself.
  349. "...And I have mine."
  350. >You look back down the hall and see the three guildmates parting ways.
  351. >Slate's subtle shaking and Limesalt's limp are much more apparent when they aren't in their costumes.
  352. "Everyone has them, be it physical or otherwise..."
  353. >You clear your throat and turn back to Rhyme.
  354. "We're all a little different here, so don't worry too much about sticking out."
  355. >"I... Okay."
  356. >Rhyme seems a little more at ease now, but you can see a bit of anxiety stir in her expression.
  357. >"I'm rather used to... sticking out."
  358. >She gestures vaguely at herself.
  359. >"The other ponies at the hospital all look the same but I... don't."
  360. >She brushes a hoof against her messy white mane.
  361. >"My colors aren't where they're supposed to be and my- my eye is funny..."
  362. >She lowers her gaze, but she's still looking at you, at least halfway.
  363. >"I used to walk all over the hospital during my breaks, but then I noticed that people would stare and say things about me... It made me really really nervous so I uhm... I stopped leaving the children's wing and started to hide my face. My friends there never made fun of me and really liked my longer mane so I felt like everything was fine."
  364. >Nursery trails a hoof on the ground. "But then I stopped being comfortable around people other than children, so I... I guess I was wrong."
  365. >She takes a deep breath and then lifts up her head, a sheepish smile on her face.
  366. >"I know it's silly but thank you for talking to me, it uhm- it helps a lot..."
  367.  
  368. "You're welcome! But... You were doing a pretty good job talking to the mini crew earlier. I think you underestimate yourself, Rhyme."
  369. >"W-well I..."
  370. >She blushes a little and smiles. "Maybe I do.... But I still think l need the extra practice! People might be unpredictable and scary... but I don't want to be too nervous to speak up and miss out on any opportunities or uhm... something?"
  371. >Nursery rubs the back of her scarfed neck. "I... lost my train of thought, sorry."
  372. "Maybe you're tired? It's been a tad hectic for you lately."
  373. >"Hah, I suppose so. I don't think I've ever opened up so much... It's hard, but I've felt better afterwards."
  374. "Yeah, it's kinda like that, eh? You pour your heart out and everything just feels... Lighter. Like you can breathe without some intangible force weighing you down..."
  375. >"Mmhm."
  376. >Rhyme tilts her head, which is something she seems to really enjoy doing.
  377. >Maybe she does it so she can see you a bit better? Her mane doesn't get in her eyes as much when she does it...
  378. >"You sound like you know your stuff, Conny! I know you said you were a model, but I think you'd do well as a uhm- a counselor! I think you're very good at helping others through stuff..."
  379. >You chuckle as you feel your face redden ever so slightly at her praise.
  380. "Pff, me? A counselor? I'm just... saying what I'd want to hear, ya know? It's like the uh..."
  381. >You tap a hoof against the waxy floor a moment, not entirely sure where you were going with-
  382. >Wait! You got it!
  383. "...L-like the golden rule! You know that one, riiiight?"
  384. >With how excited she gets the moment you mention it, you guess she's quite familiar.
  385. >Phew, nice save.
  386. >You nod at Rhyme and she nods along, a giddy smile on her face.
  387. >"Yes! 'Treat others how you'd want to be treated'... It's very very important and I feel like there's a lot of adults out there who simply don't adhere to it as much as they should... Sometimes I... I feel like they ignore it on purpose. All those mean-spirited remarks that they say just to make others upset... it doesn't make sense to me! I think they could learn a lesson or two from the children..."
  388. >You can't help but smile at her unusually passionate outburst.
  389. "I see you have some opinions."
  390. >Rhyme blinks and then averts her eyes, blushing furiously. "I'm- I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean to seem mad and- and..."
  391. "Hey heey! No need to walk on eggshells, alright? There's nothing wrong with being frustrated. You gotta draw a line somewhere, right? The last thing you want is to be seen as a doormat that just about anyone can trample over."
  392. >Nursery calms herself down with a deep breath and fidgets a little.
  393. >"I... I suppose you're right. Maybe I need to be less... malleable? No that's not... I think the uhm- the word I'm looking for is 'soft'?"
  394. >She giggles. "Something squishy..."
  395. >Rhyme suddenly boops you square on the snoot. resulting in your nose scrunching.
  396. >"...I really meant that thing about being a counselor, Conny! You've got a uhm- a spark!"
  397.  
  398. >You rub your nose a bit, more so out of impulse than pain.
  399. >Jeez, her hoof is soft...
  400. "I... don't think I'm cut out for that sorta thing. I won't deny that I like helping others out, I just couldn't do it like... officially."
  401. >All you think of when you hear 'counselor' are offices and dumb little ties...
  402. >You'd probably go insane, or at least a tad cuckoo...
  403. >You could see it now... 'Conny the Crazed Counselor Kills Twelve!'
  404. >...Eh, that's a bit much. You don't think you could hurt someone, even if you were crazy... At best you might just start babbling nonsense while sketching shadow monsters in a crappy dollar store notebook like all those c-tier horror movie protags do...
  405. "I'm fine with someone confiding in me when they need it, but it uh- it being my job? I don't think I'd be comfortable with that..."
  406. >Being a friend is one thing, being a sellout is another.
  407. >Rhyme nods knowingly. "I understand, I'm not sure I could be a uhm- a real nurse. They have to face so many bad things every day and I think I'd crumble completely under that weight if I was in their shoes..."
  408. "Well... I'm sure there's some good to it too. You just got caught up in one of those more... dire situations."
  409. >"I suppose I'm just not very... privy to how humans work. I know a little about sickness, breaks, and conditions, but my knowledge of everything is surface level at best..."
  410. >She sighs and kicks out a hoof.
  411. "Well... You care and want to learn about them, right? That's a pretty noble outlook compared to mine..."
  412. >You stifle yet another yawn.
  413. "All I see are tall weirdos who have way too much confidence and always wind up hurting themselves in ironic ways, play stupid games, win stupid prizes, ya hear? ...I guess kids are alright, though. They're just kinda touchy feely and don't know boundaries all that well..."
  414. >...That came out a little harsh, you probably should apologize about-
  415. >Your thoughts are interrupted by a surprisingly unburdened laugh from Rhyme.
  416. >"They can be quite strange, I know... But I still want to help them nevertheless. Everyone deserves to get better and live life, even the occasional dummy..."
  417. "Heh, spoken like a true nurse..."
  418. >You gesture down the hall.
  419. "We... probably should pick up the pace, it's getting *really* late."
  420. >Rhyme blinks. "Oh! Sorry for holding things up! Let's uhm- let's move then."
  421. >You take a step forward and grin.
  422. "We're not far, just a hop, skip, and a jump away!"
  423. >Rhyme shuffles in place a bit.
  424. >"I don't think I'm very good at hopping... but I can try."
  425. "Whu- Rhyme, it's just an expression."
  426. >She clears her throat, seeming quite flustered.
  427. >"I... Knew that..."
  428. >You lean in with a smirk.
  429. "Hmm... Does this mean you're good at skipping and jumping?"
  430. >"...No?"
  431. "Well... that doesn't mean you can't move your little rump! Ándale, ándale!"
  432. >You give Rhyme a light bump with your flank and then start trotting forward at a lazy yet paradoxically brisk pace.
  433. >"What's a... O-okay! Wait up!"
  434. >Annnd they're off!
  435. >Again!
  436.  
  437. >Left, left, right, left, STRAIGHT.
  438. >Aaannnd...
  439. "We're here!"
  440. >You now stand before a door crudely painted with an array of colors vaguely similar to your own, a small unpainted patch is host to a variety of little stickers ranging from generic hearts to heavily stylized pictures of ponies in various states of relaxation.
  441. >You're not entirely sure how Starry Stickers found one that looks eerily similar to you, but it's kinda nice to see a mini you just chilling amongst her sticker friends...
  442. >"Ooo... Is this your place? All these funny little pictures are so nice!"
  443. >You puff out your chest a bit. Quite proud for somepony who wasn't so keen on all the flair just a few months ago.
  444. "Sure is! It's my own personal slice of heaven!"
  445. >As close to heaven as a warm bed, a desk, and a mini-fridge can get you, at least.
  446. >You don't know how she did it, or *why* for that matter, but Jamboree had your door taken off it's hinges and painted while you were away one day.
  447. >Seeing her excitedly standing outside your newly defiled door with a bunch of balloons wrapped around her middle and a kazoo in her mouth was an... experience.
  448. >At first, you kinda wanted to die on the spot, especially since it stuck out like a lame wing compared to the modestly plain doors around it... But you guess you got used to it.
  449. >For the most part.
  450. >You swear someone keeps adding coffee related stickers, and you're pretty sure they aren't Starry...
  451. >You bet it's Jive. She's always passing through here...
  452. >That aside... Let's invite in Rhyme, shall we? The night's not getting younger, Conny!
  453. >You turn to Nursery and give her a nod.
  454. "Just gimme a sec to get things unlocked!"
  455. >You fumble around in the satchel at your side for a bit, fishing lazily for your key.
  456. "I'll admit it's a bit small, but I think it'll be more than enough room for you to get comfy!"
  457. >Hopefully.
  458. >You didn't exactly think this through besides 'Sleeping in the lounge sucks, lets have her sleep over!'.
  459. >If push comes to shove, you'll just have her sleep on your bed. You've got a panic nest under your desk that's more than accommodating for your tired ass.
  460. >You let out a little 'aha!' as you find your keys and proceed to hoist them up and into the lock with your magic.
  461. "Annnd..."
  462. *Click*
  463. "There we go!"
  464. >You clear your throat and glance back at Nursery.
  465. "Come on in!"
  466. >You push the door open and walk inside, closely followed by an oddly enthralled Rhyme.
  467. >You flip the switch and the room lights up.
  468. >To the left is your humble bed with a few blankets folded atop it.
  469. >Directly in front of you is a desk facing a window obstructed by a burgundy blackout curtain. A last gen laptop and a few miscellaneous office supplies call its slightly scuffed surface home.
  470. >And last but not least... Your kitchen.
  471. >To the right is a small table with a microwave, a hotplate, and a few clean dishes. Beside that is your lovely mini-fridge that almost seems to purr...
  472. >You turn and give Rhyme a sleepy smile.
  473. "Make yourself at home."
  474.  
  475. >As you set your things down, Rhyme twirls in a circle, taking in the atmosphere.
  476. >"I really like your place, Conny... It feels a bit homelier than my little abode!"
  477. "Heh, thanks. What's your place like?"
  478. >You watch her curiously poke the bobblehead of 'Ponka Po' on your desk, which gets her to giggle as she sees it wobble around.
  479. >"I sleep in a doctor's office they don't use anymore! I don't really like how the table feels, so I usually just bundle all my sheets and such and make a little uhm- a little hideaway in the corner. It's nice and quiet and all the animals on the walls keep me company..."
  480. >You feel like you've had a nightmare similar to that revolving around you being stuck in one of those sanitized little rooms, lying on the floor...
  481. >To think she just sleeps there without having a panic attack... She's certainly braver than you.
  482. >Rhyme sits down in the middle of the room and lightly brushes a hoof against the carpeted floor.
  483. >"The floor is warm and fuzzy... It's- It's carpet, right?"
  484. "Yep, it's rather relaxing, ain't it?"
  485. >She pets the floor a bit more.
  486. >"Mmhm..."
  487. >You trot past her and take a seat on your bed with a sigh.
  488. >Ahhh... Home sweet home.
  489. >You glance over to Rhyme and gesture towards the bobblehead she was playing with before.
  490. "Do you have any... stuff? Like personal items or whatever?"
  491. >She pauses for a moment and then turns to you.
  492. >"Sometimes the children will give me things, but the other nurses usually say that I can't keep them."
  493. >Nursery wiggles her hooves against the carpet as she sits on the ground.
  494. >"I used to have a blanket with a whole bunch of stars on it... I called it Nighty."
  495. "Used to?"
  496. >She nods.
  497. >"I gave it to... Marie. I haven't seen it since she went away, and I don't think I will." Her voice is a little quieter, but she doesn't seem to be as vulnerable about the subject as she once was.
  498. >"I don't have much... But I'm grateful for what I do have."
  499. >Which is basically nothing.
  500. >Let's... not talk about that right now.
  501. "Hey uh... Are you still hungry?"
  502. >She blinks.
  503. >...And then nods.
  504. >You get up with a stretch and open up your fridge.
  505. >Inside is a couple of sodas and waters, but right there balanced on a pair of colas is... The not so hotcakes.
  506. >The uh- the coldcakes! Hehe...
  507. >You magic it out of the fridge and shut the door.
  508. "Do you want them warm?"
  509. >To your surprise, she shakes her head.
  510. "Alrighty then. Here you go, Rhyme."
  511. >You pop open the box and float it into her hooves.
  512. >"Thank you Conny, you should uhm... get some rest. You look plumb tired."
  513. >As if on cue, you stifle a yawn.
  514. "Eeh... I probably should stay up a bit longer, at least until you're done eating."
  515. >"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you being sleep deprived on my behalf..."
  516. "Don't worry about it, I'm a big girl! I can handle a bit of sleep loss for the sake of a friend..."
  517. >Nursery's ears flick at the word 'friend' and she looks like she's trying to suppress a grin. "Okay then... Just don't push yourself."
  518. >With that, she digs in.
  519.  
  520. >As Rhyme munches happily on the hotcakes, you flop over onto your bed with yet another sigh of relief.
  521. >It's been quite the eventful few hours, but you're just glad things worked out.
  522. >Rhyme's way less depressed and you're back in your room, away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world...
  523. >You lift your head up and chuckle a little as you come face to face with your old stuffed buddy Mister S...
  524. >You give Smartypants a poke on the nose and smile.
  525. >I've got a visitor, so you better behave, dude...
  526. >You can almost hear him say 'I may be a donkey... but I'm not an ass, Conny!'
  527. >You give the pants toting donk a pat on his yarn head.
  528. >True that, Smarty. True that...
  529. >Your ears perk at the sound of Nursery humming quietly behind you, probably done with her feast already, no doubt.
  530. >You guess she was a lot hungrier than you thought. Not that she didn't make that quite clear before.
  531. >You hope she remembers to eat more frequently now that she's not as cloudy-minded, she looked a bit thin.
  532. >Huh, you wonder if hospital food is as bad as Miss L made it out to be? You've never gone near the cafeteria yourself...
  533. >You make a small noise as you let yourself melt further into the soft bed as you give your back a good stretch.
  534. >Man... A hospital sounds like it'd be a pretty sad place to live, even if you're helping people...
  535. >All the noise and commotion and sickness... It seems so overwhelming.
  536. >You grab Smartypants and roll onto your back and stare up at the ceiling, your hind-legs dangling off the side of the bed.
  537. >You clutch him close to your chest and take a deep breath.
  538. >You're pretty sure you read in a book once that you're not supposed to pay attention to your sleepy self's little anxieties, it just makes more problems for your wide awake self...
  539. >Simmer down Conny and just enjoy the moment like you've always done.
  540. >Maybe a movie will help, but what to watch...
  541. >"Conny?"
  542. >You crane your head up and fixate on Nursery, who is currently sitting near the middle of the room like before, but a little to the left.
  543. "Hm?"
  544. >She tilts her head. "Why are you here?"
  545. "Why I'm... here?"
  546. >She nods.
  547. "Uh..."
  548. >You slide off the bed and plop down, unconsciously bringing Smartypants along with you, still clutched in the crux of a foreleg.
  549. "Well I... Used to do that whole... modeling thing."
  550. >Rhyme smiles a bit.
  551. >"You're very pretty! What kind of modeling did you do?"
  552. >Smarty give you strength.
  553. "Just uh... wore stuff and posed, that sort of thing. It was for a small-time pony clothing company. I... liked it."
  554. >It was great until you stopped getting honest gigs.
  555. >Once they hit it big, they decided that they wanted the real deal, not you.
  556. >An actual Twilight, not some creep's modified knockoff...
  557. >Something about an 'image' or whatever. You honestly couldn't give less of a shit. They kicked you out and that's that.
  558. >You remember walking past the new mare as you were leaving.
  559. >It was like looking in an off-color mirror.
  560. >So alike and yet... she was better.
  561.  
  562. >You don't blame her or anything, it was just... frustrating at the time.
  563. >You hope she's doing okay, despite it all.
  564. >You wouldn't wish what happened to you on anyone.
  565. >You glance up at Rhyme and see that she's quietly waiting for you to continue.
  566. "I got canned. After that, It was just me and my handler. I... I guess he was my friend, too."
  567. >Your only friend, really. At least at the time.
  568. >He didn't freak out or look at you funny like the rest of those weirdos... He treated you like an actual person and not some object to use.
  569. >He was the one that convinced the company to take a chance on you.
  570. >And he was the one who was there once you had to leave.
  571. >He wound up getting fired too, so it was the two of you against the world, together.
  572. "We searched and searched for jobs until... we found something."
  573. >Or rather, *you* found something.
  574. >It was like your old job before they had the money to have big elaborate scenes.
  575. >You didn't exactly have much expertise in anything besides sitting and looking pretty, so at the time it felt... perfect.
  576. >Your friend didn't like it though.
  577. >He kept saying he didn't like the sound of it. That all you had to do was wait and he'd get you brought on somewhere else, somewhere safe.
  578. >But there wasn't enough time for that and you didn't have enough confidence in yourself to think you'd actually get a new job like your old one.
  579. >Rent was looming and neither of you combined could afford even a fourth of it.
  580. >You needed money quickly and this was available.
  581. >And paid a lot.
  582. >He was mad, but ultimately... he reluctantly agreed to help you like he always did.
  583. >You applied and they liked what they saw, so it wasn't long until you had a gig ready.
  584. "The job looked simple, but it- it was a bad idea."
  585. >At first it felt almost normal, like you were back home.
  586. >A sundress with matching hat, winter apparel with big fluffy scarves, sweaters and plaid skirts...
  587. >But with each shoot, you noticed that you started to wear less and less.
  588. >You didn't pay it much mind until you were on the last shot of the night.
  589. >You found yourself wearing an awfully short costume without something to cover your... exposed bottom.
  590. >You remember slinking over to your friend with your tail between your legs and talking to him about it, but he was just as clueless as you were.
  591. >You remember staring blankly at the prop bed, all bathed in dim light.
  592. >It was the first time you had paid attention to the set.
  593. >You were embarrassed a-and scared and your friend said you could stop but you knew if you didn't go and finish the shoot... They might not pay you.
  594. >You couldn't risk that. For both your sake.
  595. >Your body worked on autopilot as you struck whatever pose they asked.
  596. >Up until the end, at least.
  597. >You were lying on the bed and was told to... move your tail over.
  598. >So you did.
  599. >You squeeze Smartypants in a tight hug.
  600. "It was a really really bad idea fueled by desperation... and yet I kept going..."
  601. >You hated it.
  602. >You hated the staring.
  603. >And you hated them.
  604.  
  605. >Once it was all said and done, you left with your check and sat with your friend on a bench in the park, eating ice cream.
  606. >It was supposed to be a celebration.
  607. >But it just felt like a consolation prize.
  608. >You stared blankly at your waffle cone, watching the chocolate vanilla swirl atop it melt and drip onto the concrete as the regret welled up inside you.
  609. >You felt... dirty. Despite no one touching you.
  610. >You wanted to cry, but having your friend wrap an arm around you and hug you helped keep the sickly feeling in your stomach at bay until you got home.
  611. >As you lounged on the coach, it slowly dawned on you that you fulfilled your purpose.
  612. >What you were supposed to be.
  613. >A centerfold.
  614. >Something to look at and feel... aroused.
  615. >And you couldn't deny it.
  616. >Because it was true now.
  617. >And you just waltzed up and did this to yourself without a second thought!
  618. >You could have waited. Missing a month's rent wouldn't be an end all be all.
  619. >And you could have stopped at any time. They didn't force you or anything.
  620. >But you did neither and you have no one to blame but yourself.
  621. >...
  622. >Once... Once it was published, they gave you a free issue to boot.
  623. >Yippee.
  624. >And the worst part?
  625. >You were on the FUCKING cover...
  626. >You don't even remember the captions they had under your parts, but they were probably vulgar.
  627. >Looking at the pinup pages made you uncomfortable, but you did glance at the other mares' faces.
  628. >They looked so... provocative.
  629. >So mature.
  630. >Like they've been doing this kind of thing for years now.
  631. >And yours looked like it didn't belong at all.
  632. >Your expression was terribly shy and your face was beet red and even your attempt at looking 'alluring' looked awkward and shaky...
  633. >You could even see your tail trying and failing to hide your modesty, as you clearly didn't want to be seen.
  634. >It screamed 'amateur' at the top of its lungs...
  635. >And yet you were the main event.
  636. >Hell if you knew why.
  637. >You tried to stick the magazine into the oven, but your friend held you back and offered to shred it instead, stating that 'burning the house down won't make you feel better'.
  638. >Maybe it would have! He didn't know!
  639. >But... It *was* a bit too much.
  640. >You let him shred it and you weren't satisfied until it was unintelligible scraps.
  641. >You let out a frustrated sigh.
  642. "I jumped into the deep end without a pair of floaties... Like an idiot."
  643. >As you stared at the girly mag confetti in the trash bin, you knew right then and there that your career was tainted.
  644. >No one would probably hire you now besides these kinds of ops...
  645. >And it was pretty clear from the letter you got that they were more than willing to hire you again.
  646. >It was vile, but it paid astronomically well in comparison to the peanuts you got before.
  647. >You talked to your handler for quite some time and even though he was still against it... He couldn't deny how well off it made the both of you, so you swallowed what little pride you had left and... dove in.
  648. "I- I started to like the attention, I think."
  649.  
  650. >It was sparse but you uh- you started getting fan mail.
  651. >You chuckle nervously.
  652. "The idea that people were looking at me and not my clothes was almost... nice."
  653. >While you didn't like the gross implications, the notion that someone actually liked you and was a fan made it bearable.
  654. >At least they didn't go into detail and just gushed over your mane or called you pretty or whatever...
  655. >It was kinda like being a small town celebrity.
  656. >Whatever that might mean.
  657. >You kept up with the gigs and over time you got used to it.
  658. "It stopped being scary and I started to have... fun. Genuine fun."
  659. >You grew bolder with every gig and even had some specialties.
  660. >You had your own little flairs and themes and everything!
  661. >One of your favorites was a formal yet plain black dress with a few lacy bows on it.
  662. >It was really cute...
  663. >You lived like that for a while. Long enough that your old life felt so very distant.
  664. >You had a friend to keep you grounded, and you had a handler who kept you going, all wrapped up in one neat package.
  665. >He was your best friend and together you felt like you could take on the world...
  666. >It was like a dream.
  667. "..But then things got... complicated."
  668. >Despite coming out of your shell, there was still this... weight.
  669. >A malaise that simply wouldn't clear.
  670. >You tried to ignore it at first, but as time went on, it just got... stronger, especially whenever you couldn't sleep.
  671. >You didn't understand *why* at the time, but... You guess you found out soon enough.
  672. >One day after a rather uneventful shoot, you were approached by an imposing man.
  673. >'You're quite the popular little mare, aren't you Ms. Cradle? Have you ever thought of doing something more than a few risque pictures?'
  674. >You weren't entirely sure what he meant at first, but the way he looked at you felt much different than the cameramen.
  675. >There was no artistic spark behind his eyes.
  676. >Just the glint of a man without morals.
  677. >You wouldn't describe the crew as 'moral' seeing that this sort of content was somewhat discouraged, but they always treated you with integrity and respect.
  678. >Like an actual person.
  679. >You dare say you even called some of them your friend at that point.
  680. >But you knew this scary large man simply saw you as meat.
  681. >Something to be used in whatever way he saw fit.
  682. >You remember quietly asking him what he meant by 'something more' and having him lean down and stare into your eyes.
  683. >His breath was acidic and you could barely keep yourself from shrinking under his gaze.
  684. >You tried to stay calm as he spoke, but every oily word poked and prod at your tender heart.
  685. >He focused heavily your future. He said he thought you'd be a lovely addition to a little show he had put together.
  686. >Your mind blanks on the details of his 'show' but you remember being very uncomfortable as he was explaining.
  687. >'Ms. Cradle, when I look at you... I see a mare just oozing potential! Your performance is exceptional, but don't you want... more?'
  688. >You were too stunned to answer him, so he simply kept going.
  689. >'I will admit that we have had a bit of a gap in need of filling for quite some time now... which is why I thought to approach you.'
  690. >He gave you a smile, one that didn't make you feel any better.
  691. >'There is much to be done, little miss, and I assure you that the pay is rather cushy... You're quite the mare and I think you could be using your talents... elsewhere. I urge you to give it some thought, Ms. Cradle. Magazines can only get you so far...'
  692. >He then proceeded to get up and dust off his suit. Once done, he walked away without another word, leaving you sitting on the floor, shivering.
  693. >He acted like none of what he said would phase you, as if you would actually consider it...
  694. >And the worst part?
  695. >You almost did.
  696. >For a brief moment after you calmed down a little, you pondered what a 'cushy' paycheck would be like, caring little of what you had to do for it...
  697. >As you snapped out for it, your stomach churned.
  698. >You didn't know the specific word at the time, but you could feel the blurry label burn its way into your brain as you started to tremble again.
  699. >You've never accepted what you were. You've always tried to fight against the notion, despite all the signs, but having that man talk to you about all that gross stuff made you realize how... dirty, you were.
  700. >As if it wasn't obvious before, but you always ignored it.
  701. >Up until then, you've mostly tuned out all your hang ups about your work, letting any snide or indecent remarks simply go in one ear and out the other, all with a smile on your face.
  702. >But this time... you lost your cool.
  703. >The act crumbled and as you sat on the cold studio floor in that stupid little navy nightgown... you felt ashamed.
  704. >Truly ashamed.
  705. >You let it get to you. You let it change you and- and you *liked* it...
  706. >Were you always such a horrible pony?
  707. >From the day you woke up, you knew what you were made for, but your friend, he... he didn't see you that way.
  708. >He just saw you as a normal pony, despite it all. He- He was your best friend, b-but...
  709. >Maybe you didn't deserve his friendship.
  710. >You were a talentless nobody who's only redeeming quality was her body, which she would proceed to flaunt for money and a small trickle of attention.
  711. >You chose this.
  712. >You- You WANTED this.
  713. >How could someone love a mare like you?
  714. >All your doubts and anxieties rose up and into the corners of your eyes and no matter how hard to you tried, you couldn't fight the tears that came tumbling down your cheeks.
  715. >By the time your friend had come back with some post-shoot coffee for the crew and you, you had locked yourself in the bathroom, curled up and sobbing.
  716.  
  717. >It took a bit of coaxing, but once your friend finally convinced you to let him in, you sat in the corner, sniffling and mumbling about how much you didn't deserve him.
  718. >He stayed with you and tried to calm you down as best he could, but you were so emotionally compromised at the time that even his soothing voice wouldn't slow the thumping of your heart.
  719. >It took an awfully long time and quite a few kind words, but you finally regained enough composure to glumly ask who that man was.
  720. >In his usual joking tone, you were told that the large man was 'just some weirdo producer from next door who has a thing for gloomy mares'.
  721. "I'm sure listening to a mare cry her eyes out is *real* entertaining..."
  722. >'While I'll admit he's got fine taste... I won't stand having some sleazeball freaking you out, Conny! ...Hmph, He probably left already, so... we'll nip this in the bud tomorrow. Let's just mosey on home for now, alright? I think being away from here will help clear your head.'
  723. >Despite your friend's continued reassurance, you were still a train wreck of emotions, opting to lean into him for comfort rather than move.
  724. >Thankfully he was more than happy to bring you into a tight hug that you desperately needed...
  725. >All the weight finally broke you and you were a anxious, weepy mess because of it.
  726. "It all just sort of... crumbled... around me..."
  727. >You felt like something bad was going to happen.
  728. >You refused to get up from the floor, so he had to pick you up.
  729. >You held on tight as he brought you to the car.
  730. >He strapped you in the back and after giving you a pat on the head, he got in himself.
  731. >As he drove, he kept telling you how p-proud he was and that if it was too much and was starting to get to you, you and him could do something different...
  732. >He said that you had more than enough saved up to do just about whatever you wanted for a while, be it open up a little coffee shop or laze around playing video games... Whatever would make you happy.
  733. >He personally liked the idea of helping ponies and always mused about opening up some sort of rescue and having you be his right hand mare...
  734. >While he just saw it as a far off dream... He did like to donate to various establishments that reminded him of it.
  735. >He especially liked an up and coming place a few cities over and even donated enough to get himself a dumb little tree planted on the property.
  736. >It always looked so scrawny in the pictures but he was adamant that it would grow to be something amazing... And you guess he was right.
  737. "It's a nice tree... I'm sorry I made fun of it..."
  738. >You remember getting to a busy intersection and having him turn around and smile at you.
  739. >You could tell he was in 'speech' mode and couldn't help but smile along, despite your shivering.
  740. >'I love you Conny. No matter what happens... I'll be right there with yo-'
  741. "and then bam..."
  742. >Everything went white.
  743. >It was like you were blinded, with time standing still, if only for a brief moment.
  744. >Somewhere along the line, you started to come to, and... and...
  745. "crash."
  746. >There was yelling and beeping and static...
  747. >And everything was upside down.
  748. >You don't know how, but you were fine besides a few nicks and being thoroughly shaken up.
  749. >You vividly remember that you could see your friend's hands touching the ground level ceiling.
  750. >They reminded you of people putting their hands up on a roller coaster.
  751. >You called out to him, asking if he was okay, but he didn't respond.
  752. >It took a bit, but you were able to unbuckle and fall to the roof.
  753. >It stung, but it didn't matter.
  754. >You had to check on him.
  755. >Once you flip over and crawl your way to him, you- you shook his shoulder a-and...
  756. "Hewasn'tmoving..."
  757.  
  758. >At f-first you thought it was some cruel joke.
  759. >But he wouldn't do that to you.
  760. >So it had to be real.
  761. >You remember unbuckling him and gently floating him to the roof with all the magic you could muster. You were tired afterwards, but it was worth it to keep him close.
  762. >He looked... bad.
  763. >You didn't know how to describe it but the more you stared at all the red on him, the more you started to panic.
  764. "wakeup."
  765. >But he didn't.
  766. >You tried to yell, scream, anything… But nothing came out.
  767. >All you could do was nuzzle into him and wordlessly cry.
  768. "don'tleaveme."
  769. >You probably said that at least a hundred times in the few short minutes you sat there.
  770. >You held onto him, rocking and mumbled apologies until the paramedics came.
  771. >They pulled the both of you out and only then did you see the massive truck currently twisted with the car's front.
  772. >You didn't understand why they were fussing over you at first. Why would they bother with you when he's the one that needs attention? But then you- you saw him...
  773. "when... when I saw him like that I- I knew he was really gone and.. And…."
  774. >He was right there just minutes before and now he... wasn't.
  775. >Just like that.
  776. >It w-wasn't fair!
  777. >You d-d-didn't e-even get to say goodbye a-and-
  778. >You freeze up as something touches your hoof, pulling you out of your painful memory fog.
  779. >You listlessly pick up your head and finally notice Rhyme sitting beside you.
  780. >Were you... still talking?
  781. >Or were you just spacing out?
  782. >How long has she been sitting there listening to you ramble?
  783. "S-suh..."
  784. >Man, your voice is kind of hoarse...
  785. >You clear your throat.
  786. "...Sorry, I uh- I totally forgot to ask if you still wanted me to keep go- W-Whuh?!"
  787. >You're taken aback by her suddenly hugging you.
  788. >It's warm and she's squeezing you really tight...
  789. "C-cool it! I'm- I'm fine..."
  790. >"No you're not!"
  791. >You blink, not used to her raising her voice.
  792. >Nursery looks up from her hug and pouts at you.
  793. >"You're hurting and you won't even admit it."
  794. >Her grip is... disarming.
  795. >You didn’t think much of her hug before, but now that it’s in full force… it’s- it’s rather comforting.
  796. >”You- You bottled it up, didn’t you? You let all those awful things that happened to you just sit there and fester, hm?”
  797. >Man, s-she’s kind of calling you out here… When did she get so confident?
  798. >You slowly shake your head.
  799. “Okay I… I’ll admit I haven’t actually… said anything… to anyone else…”
  800. >”Why not?”
  801. “Well I…”
  802. >You take a deep breath, trying to curb the feelings welling up inside.
  803. “I… Look, Jambo may say otherwise, but she’s still just a kid. I can’t tell her all this bad stuff and besides her, I… I don’t have a lot of friends."
  804. >There’s the guildmates and the twins and of course Jambo, but that’s about it…
  805. >None of them are really 'Hey! Mind if I whine about the worst days of my life?' material.
  806. >You gesture vaguely at nothing in particular and then let your foreleg flop down in an almost defeated manner.
  807. “I try to listen to everyone and be nice and goof off but at times it- it’s hard a-and draining and stuff... There's no one that I feel like I can just... talk to, you know?”
  808. >Your head lulls and you stare at Smartypants, who had somewhere along the line fell out of your hooves and was now lying beside you on his side.
  809. “I’m really not all that social, Rhyme. I just learned how to carry myself that way and it kind of just... worked out? For the most part, anyway... ”
  810. >You could put on an air of coolheadedness, but inside you’re still just some off brand Twilight and you’re just as introverted as she was.
  811. “I don’t even know why I said anything to you, Rhyme. You have your own stuff to deal with a-and I’m… I’m sorry.”
  812. >You feel her squeeze you a little tighter.
  813. >”Remember the golden rule?”
  814. >Where is she going with this?
  815. “I- I guess?”
  816. >She smiles up at you.
  817. >”You treated me like how *you* wanted to be treated, Conny. You said what you wanted to be told.”
  818. “W-well I…”
  819. >Your ears droop.
  820. >She’s... right.
  821.  
  822. "I guess I knew what you went through... Losing someone, I mean."
  823. >You take another deep breath as you try to get the swirling mass of shame and grief in your gut to dissipate.
  824. >It's getting really hard to ignore now.
  825. "I h-hated seeing you go through that so I just... told you what I wanted to hear at the time. It- It may not be anywhere near the same situation, but I... I hoped it would still make you feel better... No one deserves that. I-It... sucks."
  826. >That's quite the understatement, but your head is too fuzzy to put together anything better...
  827. >She smiles warmly, her forelegs still wrapped firmly around you.
  828. >"It did! You did really well, Conny. I feel much better, but…"
  829. >Another firm squeeze.
  830. >”Now it’s my turn to help you out!”
  831. >You’re glad that she’d do that but uh…
  832. >You’ve had a lot of hugs in your day, but you can’t think of the last time you had one this… sentimental?
  833. >Especially one that’s for your sake.
  834. >It’s kinda hard to describe, but you feel way too vulnerable right now. Like you’re putty in her hooves…
  835. >Either she has some sort of secret nursey powers, or you’re just really desperate for physical contact right now.
  836. >You think it’s the latter.
  837. >You wriggle slightly in her grasp as the warmth starts to make you feel almost… shaky.
  838. >Like you could break down at any moment.
  839. >Your breathing is starting to get funny and the wateriness of your eyes is getting more and more apparent.
  840. >God, you- you really don’t want to start crying because you’re reliving stupid stuff that doesn’t even matter anymore…
  841. >You freeze up upon feeling Rhyme place her head on your chest.
  842. >You hesitantly look down and see her smiling up at you. Her expression had an air of understanding that was oh so very familiar...
  843. >"You're not very good at taking your own advice, hm?"
  844. >You slowly shake your head, barely able to see her now.
  845. >"Well..." Another disarming squeeze of your middle. "I feel like you might need to let it all out."
  846. "B-but I..."
  847. >"It's okay, Conny."
  848. >The breathy statement as she stares deep into your soul makes you choke up a little.
  849. >"Do you want to talk about him? Your friend, I mean."
  850. >It takes awhile, but you finally answer with a slow nod.
  851. >You start to rock a little as you begin to mumble quietly.
  852. "I... I miss him."
  853. >You lower yourself until your head is resting atop Rhyme's.
  854. >She was about your height, but her current hugging position made her quite the headrest.
  855. "He- He accepted me a-and loved me and I didn't deserve him... I- I thought I was a talentless loser and that all I could offer was my body. It- It's what I was made for so it just... kind of made sense to me..."
  856. >You trail off, the blatant admittance feeling awful, but... it's not like Rhyme didn't hear everything beforehand.
  857. "B-but he liked me for me! He- He saw me as a person with her own thoughts a-and feelings and not s-some... lewd toy."
  858. >Your tail curls around your legs in some sort of unconscious display of shame as you squirm in Rhyme's grip.
  859. "But I failed him. I- I didn't think I was good enough to be anything more than some h-harlot..."
  860. >You sniffle.
  861. "At least he made me realize I was better than that before I went further than photos..."
  862. >The photos you could kind of rationalize as 'artistic', but what that weirdo producer suggested? It was just- just plain gross! You hate yourself for ever giving it a single thought, even for a brief second...
  863. "I-I'm not that kind of mare! I- I know I was supposed to be but- but I'm not! I want romance a-and cuddling and stuff... I-I wouldn't do t-that and even if I did want to, it would have only been with *him*!"
  864. >He was your best friend! He was kind and gentle and made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...
  865. >You remember sometimes laying in his bed while he was out, daydreaming about... well... him.
  866. >They were never anything to write home about. Just nice quiet time alone with him in various secluded places like the back of a library or the edge of a pond... Any outliers were usually ones revolving around you being in bed with him.
  867. >Not- not like that, brain!
  868. >...
  869. >O-okay, maybe a little...
  870. >While the quaint little fantasies in your head was something you wished you pursued in earnest, you never had the courage to pipe up... Especially regarding the uhm- the latter ones.
  871. >The closest you got to anything like those were that one time you couldn't sleep and crawled into his bed on a particularly warm night. You remember silently freaking out upon realizing he was just in his boxers...
  872. >To your surprise, he wound up grabbed you while you were trying to sneak out from under the covers and then pulled you into his arms and right into his bare chest.
  873. >At first you thought he might have been awake and might have been messing with you, but after a bit of flustered silence, it was pretty clear that he was still asleep, leaving you to be mercilessly cuddled by his unconscious body.
  874. >You'd like to think you have a pretty clean mind, but due to a combination of him being almost naked and you being *very* naked... You had some a few indecent thoughts, like how you kinda wanted to scoot closer until you're right up in his face and then smooch and hug him and stuff...
  875. >You stifle a laugh.
  876. >Suffice it to say that you were pretty clueless back then.
  877. >You uh- you still are to a degree... You missed out on your chance at being his special somepony.
  878. >Reflecting on your old job... It's a little funny.
  879. >You doubt anyone would believe that the erotica model flaunting herself up on set was secretly some green as grass maiden.
  880. >Heh, plaster your face on the side of some olive oil why don'tcha?
  881. >In all honesty... you're glad no one knew. You have a sneaking suspicion that your fan mail would have gotten a lot weirder if they did.
  882. >You fumble with your forehooves a little as your mind starts wandering back to your old friend.
  883. >After everything the two of you went through together... It hurts that you never told him how you really felt...
  884. >You squirm a little.
  885. >Y-you wonder what would have happened if you did. Would he... accept it? If he did that would mean you'd be... dating.
  886. >And dating can lead to... uhm...
  887. >As your thoughts trail down a very specific rabbit hole, your heart flutters.
  888. >Would you have ended up... m-making love?
  889. >Y-you have no idea how to do that or what etiquette there is to the act and the very *thought* of being intimate frightens you to no end, b-but...
  890. "I-I uhm... I think as long as it was with him, it... it w-wouldn't be so scary..."
  891. >You don't feel shame when you think about him, but...
  892. >It still feels wrong. Just not in the way it would if he was still here.
  893. >Be rational Conny! He's... gone. Thinking about him like this is not only *really* weird, but terribly sad!
  894. >This is exactly how old wives reminisce about their husbands when they've passed...
  895. >You pause to take a deep breath. Thankfully it's just enough to slow your heartbeat.
  896. >See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Now just stop thinking about all that! What would Rhyme think if she heard y-
  897. >"What wouldn't have been so scary?"
  898. >You cover your mouth with your hooves.
  899. >ohno.
  900. >ohhhnonono....
  901. >Y-your inner thoughts didn't stay inner!
  902. >Your heartbeat quickens significantly as you hesitantly glance down at a puzzled Nursery.
  903. >Your face reddens.
  904. >A lot.
  905. "W-w-well- I- Uhm- You- y-you see..."
  906. >Unable to articulate an answer, you avert your gaze and fall silent, wanting nothing more than to disappear in that instant.
  907. >Your red-tipped ears flick a little as you hear Rhyme giggle.
  908. >"I'm... not sure what you meant by all that, but he certainly seemed like someone special to you."
  909. >H-how much did she hear? How much did you say *out loud*?
  910. >She doesn't look like she's judging you...
  911. "I-I uhm... Mhnmn...?"
  912. >Your nerves are really starting to get the better of you.
  913. >Hold your horses, Conny! Cool your jets, Cradle!
  914. >You won't be able to speak right while you're an anxious bundle of mumbles...
  915. >You let yourself settle down sufficiently and after collecting your scattered thoughts from off the carpet, you give her a little nod.
  916. "He... He was! ...Spuh-special to me, I mean..."
  917. >Despite all your flaws, it was you he liked.
  918. >He knew the real you. That awkward mess of a mare who got way too invested in dumb children's cartoons and role-playing games or that desperately wanted to do karaoke but was too self-conscious to do it anywhere else but in her bedroom...
  919. >At home you didn't need to be Miss Cradle.
  920. >At home he didn't need to be your handler.
  921. >Together you could just be yourselves and enjoy each other's company.
  922. "He was a total dork who had a soft spot for ponies."
  923. >When you first came home with him, his house was utterly flush with all sorts of merch.
  924. >Besides that, he had his bouts of philanthropy. He would always donate bits and pieces of his check to pony accommodating facilities...
  925. "He was a uhm- a real sweetheart. I honestly never knew a better dude."
  926. >Sometimes you felt like he was a little *too* nice and had to wrangle him back so he didn't do something dumb.
  927. "One time I tried to stop him from spending all his pocket money on a Phillyware claw machine since he wanted to win the last ponybot inside..."
  928. >You kinda... failed at stopping him.
  929. >You chuckle as you think about how confused that poor little Pommel was when he held her up all triumphant like in the air...
  930. >Her movements were a little delayed like any cheapo Philly, but she could hold quite the conversation, especially if it was about fabric.
  931. "Hah... I hope Pompom is doing well with ol' Barty... Last I heard she was learning how to knit mini sweaters."
  932. >You didn't know either of them all that well, but your friend was always happy to see them.
  933. >You let out a sigh.
  934. "Maybe I should have tried to be more outgoing back then, but I... I guess it is what it is."
  935. >Most folks you knew faded into the background after the accident and you kind of just... gave up on your old life.
  936. >You sat and ruminated in 'your' apartment for weeks on end.
  937. >For the first time in your life... you were alone.
  938. >Truly alone.
  939. >Seeing that no one contacted you at the time, you hazard a guess that they all thought you went out with him.
  940. "or maybe they just didn't care."
  941. >All throughout the grief and pain, you clung to every single word he had said to you and as pathetic as it sounds you- you wrote it all down in a journal and it... helped.
  942. >While it couldn't stop the empty hole in your heart from forming, it at least kept you going.
  943. >You could always be reminded of him whenever you wanted, even if you couldn't wrack together the thoughts yourself.
  944. >He made you feel safe. He made you feel wanted. He made you feel... special.
  945. >Because of him you were able to pierce through your self-deprecating haze and see that you were worth something.
  946. >That you *could* belong.
  947. >Without him, you might still be in that display case or worse.
  948. >He gave you a chance at a real life all of your own. You stumbled a lot, but seeing where you are now...
  949. >You think you managed okay.
  950. >It's... a very iffy okay, but at least it's a start.
  951. >If... if you could turn back time for just a moment and s-saw him standing right there... you would give him t-the biggest hug right now...
  952. >You take a deep breath and smile weakly, fresh tears welling up in the corner of your eyes.
  953. "I... I loved him."
  954. >You pick your head up and stare at the ceiling.
  955. "He was my best friend and he made me the mare I am today... I won't forget him. J-just like you won't forget Marie, Rhyme. I-I'll remember him as long as I live a-and..."
  956. >You swallow drying as you feel your emotional state start to pique.
  957. "I'd... I'd like to think he's pr-proud of me a-and up there watching muh-me a-and- and..."
  958. >You trail off into a bout of pitiful mumbling and shrink down a little
  959. >You can feel the dam cracking.
  960. >You gently tap Rhyme's hoof, which gets her to lift her head from your chest and sit up with a tilt of the head.
  961. >She hasn't said much at all since you've started, but her expression tells you that she's been listening intently.
  962. >You look her in the eyes, your small smile still present as you try to stay strong and simply thank her for listening to your stupid rambling...
  963. >But it's to no avail.
  964. >Your smile fades as your body starts the tremble.
  965. "R-Rhyme...?"
  966. >You barely squeak out her name as you weakly fidget with your shaky hooves.
  967. >She gives you yet another reassuring smile. "Yes, Conny?"
  968. "I don't th-think I can... stop."
  969. >Nursery tilts her head a little more than before. "Stop?"
  970. "Uhm..."
  971. >You lower your head and stare at your shaky legs.
  972. "F-from... from crying...."
  973. >You don't even know why you feel so embarrassed admitting that...
  974. >She pouts ever so slightly. "Conny... You already know what I'm going to say, don't you?"
  975. >In one fell swoop that leaves your racing mind blank, Nursery quietly slides herself over and lays her head on your shoulder, all the while her forelegs wrap around you in the closest thing to a bear hug a pony has ever given you.
  976. >"There's nothing wrong with crying, you know..."
  977. >You made a small panicky noise that *could* be a protest, and she interprets as such.
  978. >"Oh come now... When I was in your shoes, you didn't bat an eye. Don't deprive yourself just because you want to seem tough, alright? Breathe and... relax."
  979. >You take a few deep breaths as prescribed and settle into the all consuming hug.
  980. >As the tension in your body starts to melt away, Nursery gives you one last firm and familiar squeeze...
  981. >"Just let it out, Conny... It's okay."
  982. >And that's all that it takes for the dam to finally break.
  983. >You feebly drape your forelegs around her as tears start to run down your cheeks.
  984. >With a barely suppressed sob, you embrace her fully.
  985. >"There there..."
  986. >She hushes you softly as you butt your head against her chest and whimper.
  987. >All that sorrow, grief, bitterness, and shame... It all wells up inside and grew stagnate.
  988. >Ever time you refused to acknowledge the swirling miasma in the back of your mind, it got a little harder to cry.
  989. >You probably haven't done so in... years.
  990. >You honestly didn't know what to expect.
  991. >But... here you are.
  992. >Bawling your eyes out like some oversensitive kid who lost her favorite toy...
  993. >It's... a little ironic.
  994. >You're the toy.
  995. >And you lost your favorite kid.
  996.  
  997. . . .
  998. >It takes quite awhile to calm yourself down.
  999. >You relapses a couple times, but as you sit slumped in Rhyme's ever-steady embrace... You think the worst has past.
  1000. >You sniffle a bit and rub one of your puffy eyes.
  1001. >With a deep breath, you lightly tap Nursery's foreleg, getting her (mostly) undivided attention.
  1002. >She gives you a warm smile. "Feeling better?"
  1003. >You're all jumbled up and nauseous, but... you *do* feel a little less gloomy.
  1004. "M-more or less, yeah..."
  1005. >You're a wreck, but everything is much lighter than before.
  1006. "It's... it's a process, but I'll be fine, I- I think."
  1007. >You give her foreleg another tap and try to give her a smile of your own, which... takes a bit of effort.
  1008. “T-thanks for uh- for this, but… You can let m-me go now…”
  1009. >You clear your throat upon hearing the underlining raspy stutter in your usual tone of voice.
  1010. >You guess you were a lot more vocal while crying than you thought...
  1011. >Rhyme's grip relents a little.
  1012. >”Do you… want me to?”
  1013. “I uhm…”
  1014. >You sink further into the hug with a soft sigh.
  1015. “Not really… I’m just trying to seem tough again…”
  1016. >”Well… I guess we’re stuck like glue then!”
  1017. “Seems so, huh?”
  1018. >You lift up Smartypants from the carpet with your magic and lightly deposit him atop Rhyme's head.
  1019. >The lighthearted sight made you feel a little less queasy.
  1020. >”Do you want to… keep talking? I'm all ears if you still need to.”
  1021. “There really isn’t much left to talk about besides how I ended up here…”
  1022. >”Well if you feel like sharing... I'd be happy to listen.” She lifts a hoof and boops your snoot. "You have quite a bit to say. Some good, some... not so good. I'm glad you're sharing nevertheless! You sounded like you needed an uhm- I think the word is... outlet? Yes, outlet."
  1023. “I guess I…”
  1024. >You freeze, your eyes widening.
  1025. “Wait… D-did I say all that stuff out loud? Like- Like *ALL* of it?”
  1026. >As Rhyme nods nonchalantly, your face reddens and you feel the intense need to hide again.
  1027. >”When you weren't talking to me directly, you just sort of... mumbled. I think I got the gist of things, though.”
  1028. >Buh- What?!
  1029. >Your inner monologue is supposed to be… uh- inner!
  1030. >W-why does that keep happening?!
  1031. “Oooh god did you hear the bit with the magazine a-and the-”
  1032. >As she nods again before you can finish, you put your head in your hooves and groan.
  1033. >Everything.
  1034. >She heard EVERYTHING.
  1035. "I'm so sorry, Rhyme… You shouldn’t have had to hear all that crap. It’s- It’s really…”
  1036. >As you trail off into embarrassed mumbling, you feel a familiar yarny presence rest itself on your head.
  1037. >”You don’t have to feel ashamed! I don’t think less of you in the slightest and I don’t think anypony here will judge you for your past either.”
  1038. >You lift your head enough to see her warm smile.
  1039. "B-but I..."
  1040. >”Everypony has their flaws! Be it physical…”
  1041. >She pauses and wiggles a hoof at you, clearly indicating she wants you to finish her off.
  1042. “Or- or otherwise?”
  1043. >”Hey, you remembered!”
  1044. >You chuckle nervously.
  1045. “Yeah... I'm the one who coined that stupid phrase after all.”
  1046. >"It's a very nice phrase."
  1047. >You give her a playful prod in the belly.
  1048. "Yeah well... You better pay me some royalties for using it..."
  1049. >To your surprise, she doesn't ask about what that word meant.
  1050. >Nursery laughs quietly. "Do hugs count?"
  1051. "They're worth their weight in gold, so... Sure."
  1052. >She lets out a little 'ha' as she continues to hold you.
  1053. >"How grand..."
  1054.  
  1055. >You lock eyes with Rhyme and manage a little smile.
  1056. "You probably let all those kids ramble at you all the time, huh? You're way too good at this."
  1057. >You thought *you* were supposed to be the one to lean on...
  1058. >But you guess it's a two way street, huh?
  1059. >She giggles and shifts her weight, resulting in the hug loosening slightly.
  1060. >"I suppose so! They like it when I hug them and listen to their stories or problems and it just felt... right? To do the same for you, I mean."
  1061. >Nursery's smile falters and she lowers her gaze. "But I guess I've never had someone listen to *me* before tonight... I- I try not to complain about my uhm- my problems... I don't want to be a bother."
  1062. "Which... is why you bottled it up too, huh? All that hurt."
  1063. >She nods slowly. "Y-yeah... I felt kind of okay for a couple days afterwards, but then one night I just..."
  1064. "Fell apart?"
  1065. >Another nod. "Mmhm, It was... really bad. I broke down in the middle of the night and it was really scary because I've... I've never cried before then..."
  1066. >Rhyme lets out a quiet and almost frustrated sigh. "I didn't face it, even though I knew that letting it well up inside was wrong."
  1067. >She looks back up at you. "It's a little silly, really. I always tell the children to be honest with their feelings and let themselves process things and yet... I couldn't do the same for myself."
  1068. >That sounds familiar.
  1069. >You feel the pressure of her hug finally subside and watch her scoot away slightly, giving you a bit of breathing room.
  1070. >You kinda wish she kept it up... But you can tell she's got a lot on her mind.
  1071. >"I'm sorry that I raised my voice before. I guess I told you what I wanted to hear at the time, even if what I wanted to tell myself was a little uhm... peeved off."
  1072. "Rhyme... It's not a big deal. I really needed someone to just... Confront me, I guess."
  1073. >If it wasn't for her, you probably wouldn't have opened up anytime soon...
  1074. "I'm glad you did that and I'm glad I let myself talk, even if I... overshared."
  1075. >A lot.
  1076. >She stifles a yawn and wiggles her hindhooves a little. "You're welcome..."
  1077. "Hey."
  1078. >"Hm?"
  1079. "Was is as bad for you? The uhm... the days after."
  1080. >"Well I... I was rather troubled after the fact... It was so new and- and painful and I was... afraid."
  1081. >Her lets out a soft sigh and lowers her head. "I'm used to people telling me what to do, so I guess I expected someone to walk up and just... say that it was okay or that I didn't do anything wrong or that I wasn't a bad pony for letting her die..."
  1082. >Rhyme takes a deep and purposeful breath. "But that didn't happen. I had to cope with it by myself, which... didn't work out very well as you already know."
  1083. "Rhyme... You didn't do that to her and you're certainly not a bad pony!"
  1084. >"I- I know that now, but... At the time I just wasn't sure. I let it get to me and it just... felt like a reasonable conclusion. Why else wouldn't people talk to me?"
  1085. "Maybe... they expected you to talk to them?"
  1086. >"I suppose that could be an answer..."
  1087. >You sigh, feeling slightly affected by how dejected she sounds.
  1088. "I dunno Rhyme, I'm not exactly some omniscient filly..."
  1089. >You're certainly no Ballyhoo Banneret...
  1090. >Heh, that series was cool...
  1091. >You pause and glance at a mildly befuddled Nursery.
  1092. "S-sorry... I got distracted. Omniscient means.... all-knowing."
  1093. >She gives a small smile and nods. "I see! I... I wouldn't expect that of you, Conny. I'm sure they didn't mean any harm. I just... wasn't very sound of mind at the time."
  1094. >You shift your weight a bit and give her an inquisitive look.
  1095. "So... how *did* you run away? If you don't mind me asking..."
  1096. >Rhyme's tail curls around her forelegs and she shuffles in place. "Without any fuss, really..."
  1097. >She rubs the back of her neck and looks away, her mane obstructing the view of her face.
  1098. >"I guess after all that crying in my room that night, I desperately needed some fresh air, so when dawn broke I... went outside."
  1099. >Nursery fidgets with her forehooves a bit. "I had never been outside before then. It was nice and sunny and warm... But even with all that excitement, I still felt horrible..."
  1100. >"I stood there next to some EMT for a while, trying to regain my composure, and I guess he saw how upset I was, since he asked what was wrong and I... I didn't know what to say so I just... blurted out that I was going to take a walk to clear my head..."
  1101. >Rhyme looks up at the ceiling fan above, her mane falling back enough to see her bad eye focusing on the wall in front of her. "I- I don't know what came over me! I've never done something so sudden like that before and yet I kept going despite how much of a nervous wreck I was."
  1102. >She turns to you with an abashed expression, her ears flattened. "A-and that's how I ran away! I just casually walked away and didn't come back..."
  1103.  
  1104. >Huh, she's looking kinda bummed out again...
  1105. >It looks like it's once again time to invade somepony's personal space! Huzzah!
  1106. >You scoot on over until you're next to Rhyme again and bring her into a firm side hug.
  1107. >She doesn't react strongly, but you can tell by how her breathing begins to slow that she's starting to relax again.
  1108. "You're quite the sneaky sort, eh Rhyme?"
  1109. >She lowers her head a little and smiles sheepishly. "I... wouldn't say that, but I suppose I'm not particularly loud..."
  1110. >Nursery clears her throat. "I'm also not known for getting into trouble, so uhm... I don't think anyone expected me to just... leave." She wriggles slightly in your grasp. "I- I suppose I ruined my perfect meeting attendance! H-haha..."
  1111. "Yeah... you lost a good noodle star right there."
  1112. >She tilts her head. "Good noodle star...?"
  1113. "Just uh- just a dumb thing from a cartoon... They're just little stickers for good behavior or whatever..."
  1114. >Now that you think about it... You're pretty sure Jambo still has your box set in her room.
  1115. >You're not all that cut up about it, though. She's definitely putting it to better use than you did, seeing that she has tons of sleepovers...
  1116. >Rhyme nods a little. "Oooh... I see! I had a sheet that had lots of smileys on it, so I think it might be a similar reward structure..." Her ears flicks. "I'm sure I have a few frownies by now..."
  1117. "I'm sure you'll make it up in no time, though."
  1118. >You squeeze her a little tighter and she giggles quietly.
  1119. >"I hope so! Once I go home, I'm gonna give it my all and be the best nurse I can be! N-no more moping for Rhyme! No ma'am!"
  1120. "I'm glad you're eager! Just uh- just remember to take it slow... It's really easy to slip up again, especially when you've only just started to mend."
  1121. >She leans into the hug and looks up at you. "I understand! If you move too much or too quickly, you might just open up your sutures..."
  1122. >You give her a grin as you ruffle her mane.
  1123. "I feel like you know what I'm gonna say, right?"
  1124. >She smiles back and lifts a hoof to boop you once more on the snoot. "Spoken like a true nurse?"
  1125. "More or less."
  1126. >"Well... I think the same can be said about you too, Conny."
  1127. "Hm?"
  1128. >Her smile persists, if a little mellower. "Mine may be fresh... but you have quite a few old wounds. Some of them seem very deep, too. I... I think it's clear that you need some help keeping their dressing clean, so to speak."
  1129. >She squirms a little. "I'm... sorry. That might have been too forward."
  1130. "Nah, don't be sorry... I'm kinda messed up. I needed to bite the bullet and just... talk. The first step to getting better is admitting that something's wrong, right?"
  1131. >"I suppose so." Nursery takes a deep breath and then gives you a warm smile. "I'm- I'm glad I met you, Conny. You've given me some new... perspective? I- I hope that's the word I'm looking for..."
  1132. "Likewise, Rhyme. I think... I'm gonna talk to everyone from now on. About my problems, about... me. I've avoided it for way too long and I need to be honest, even if it's... scary."
  1133. >"It's okay to be scared, I... I am too. Every time I think about what might happen tomorrow, the butterflies in my stomach start swarming!" She fidgets with her forehooves and then looks up at you with an inquisitive look. "Maybe... we can be scared together?"
  1134. >She's just like those kids she loves so much, huh?
  1135. "You've got a big heart, Rhyme... I think I wouldn't mind being your fear buddy."
  1136. >She blinks. "Well... when you put it that way... it's a rather odd thing to s-"
  1137. >You interrupt her by gingerly pulling her into a proper full on hug, which elicits a small 'oh!' from the nursey mare now in your embrace.
  1138. >It doesn't take long for her to register what you were doing, as she accepts the hug readily with a giggle and wraps her own hooves around you.
  1139. "Thanks a ton, Nursery."
  1140. >"No problem, Conny."
  1141. >A simple exchange, but that's all that needs to be said.
  1142. >The hug persists long enough that you almost stop noticing the world around you, but you snap out of it once Rhyme sleepily bonks her head against your own, jolting you both wide awake again.
  1143. >The two of you disengage, all the while laughing and whispering hushed apologies to each other.
  1144. >As Nursery gets up and stretches, you glance down at your hooves with a soft content sigh.
  1145. >You feel like tonight has been really... intimate?
  1146. >That's... a weird way to describe it, but you think it's appropriate.
  1147. >You didn't *need* to tell Rhyme about your past, just like how she didn't have to go into detail of her own.
  1148. >But you both did.
  1149. >You poured it out and laid yourself bare, despite yourself.
  1150. >You're still a tad shaky after accidentally telling her *everything*, but... she didn't judge you.
  1151. >Maybe that means the others won't either? You've certain heard some strange ass stories during some of those meetings, so why should they get all uppity about yours? At least you're not the weirdo who 'accidentally' rambled about how much she *really* likes humans...
  1152. >You let out a quiet 'heh'.
  1153. >Poor Boardwalk was a mess for days afterwards and you're honestly not sure in what way in particular.
  1154. >You smile to yourself.
  1155. >You guess it's a little hypocritical to judge, huh? Seeing that you just had a little 'moment' yourself...
  1156. >Weirdos don't get to call other weirdos weird.
  1157. >You place a hoof to your heart and breath in.
  1158. >You're hesitant to say it outright, but somewhere deep inside... You think you will be okay.
  1159. >The hurt is uh- It's still there, but... It's manageable now.
  1160. >You think now that you've pulled off the mental bandaid, things will get better.
  1161. >It's just a matter of time.
  1162. >You lazily glance over at Nursery, who is currently reading the names of the movies you have stacked next to your little TV corner.
  1163. >You've only known her for a night and she already feels like one of your best friends...
  1164. >Guess sharing secrets really brings ponies together.
  1165. >"Hmm.. What's a... Zathura?"
  1166. >You chuckle quietly as she continues to question the names of the movies.
  1167. "Hey Rhyme... wanna finally give that thing a whirl?"
  1168. >She looks up and smiles. "That'd be real neat! But uhm... Isn't it kinda late?"
  1169. >You get up with a stretch of your own and trot over to her.
  1170. "The night is still young, Rhyme... It's not like you're tired yet, right?"
  1171. >She shakes her head. "I... I actually feel quite energized! I guess all that hugging really perked me up..."
  1172. >You could say the same for yourself. You probably could dance the night away if you could find those CDs Waltz gave you...
  1173. >They're probably under your bed somewhere but you're too lazy to look for them.
  1174. "Hah! Feeling supercharged, eh? I'm sure we can find a movie that'll blow your scarf off!"
  1175. >She fumbles with her scarf a bit and tilts her head. "I rather like having my scarf on, Conny." She pauses and then reddens ever so slight. "I- That was figure of speech again, wasn't it?"
  1176. "Yessiree! But... Feel free to hang it up somewhere if it gets too warm."
  1177. >She giggles nervously and then nods. "It's actually quite cozy... I'll be fine."
  1178. >Nursery gestures to the stack. "What do you recommend?"
  1179. >You grin and pat the top of the movie stack.
  1180. "Well well well... Let's start with what kind of genres you might like and go from there!"
  1181. >It's time to shed your cares away and have a good ol' fashion movie night!

Testament

by Castafae

Letters for Gray Garden

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Novel Pursuits with Radio Star

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Fae Green Archive

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Fae's Party Adventure

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