GREEN
154
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6160 33.55 KB 453
6160 33.55 KB 453
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>be femanon
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>you're not doing too hot right now
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>your now exboyfriend brad broke up with you recently for the worst possible reason
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>he didnt approve of the ponies
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>he called you "immature" and that you were "too old to still be obsessing over them"
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>brad wasnt based and marepilled like you are
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>after a heated argument between you two, he stormed out of the room with that stacy chick you never liked, angrily dragging her out by the hand
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>she always got too close to him when you all hung out together and he always told you never to worry about her
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>bet the jerk was cheating on you too
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"Prick."
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>so here you are
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>home alone once again with no one to hold and cuddle you
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>man, you could kill for some cuddles right now
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>cant even call any of your online friends to share your woes with you
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>ah well, at least you have your little ponies to comfort you
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>you take all of the plushies and figures and toys and whatever else brought you comfort from your bedroom and into the living room
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>after about half an hour, youve made a pretty sweet little blanket fort
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>all your favorite plushies, pony or otherwise, were in a neat little row inside of the fort while the little pony and dragon ball figures you have stand guard on the coffee table in front of you
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>you have everything set up for a binge of the most cheesy, romantic related episodes of MLP to help heal your broken heart
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>well, almost everything
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>you're missing something
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>...
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>snacks!
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>darting to the kitchen, you nearly fall over as you open the pantry and excitedly pull out all of your fave sweet and salty snacks and the Emergency I Feel Awful apple juice boxes that always helped make you feel even a tiny bit better
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>you dump the snacks and juice boxes onto a big platter to bring to the living room
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>but the plushies out there need snacks too
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>theyre gonna get hungry if they dont have snacks to eat along with you
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>you giggle to yourself as you put some carrots, apple slices, and sugar cubes on the platter for your plastic and plushie mare friends
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>the critical mean part of your brain hisses the thought of "youre so autistic, it hurts" at you
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>shut up, brain, im coping right now
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>as you walk into the living room, you notice a small pamphlet
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>Princess Cadence's Waifu/Horsebando Matchmaking Program?
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>the word "horsebando" was a sticker that seemed to be put on last minute
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>its placement was lopsided and the word was written in childish handwriting
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>hoofwriting?
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>you slightly chuckle at the thought of an earth pony desperately trying to write his best with clumsy nubs for hooves
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>you put the platter down to check for intruders
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>you didnt own anything that nice and youre not really much of a looker, but you can never be too safe
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>no signs of any kind of entry anywhere
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>you return to the living room and pick up the pamphlet, flipping through the pictures of what seemed like happy customers
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>youve heard about this make-believe program before on the boards
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>youve read those greens of anons being swept away to the magical land of Equestia where they have their happily ever after with the mare they love most
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>you loved dough hearts's lil story in particular, it was so incredibly precious to you
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>reading those tall tales of happy anon and mare couples desperately made you wish you were a mare
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>youre already a woman which is pretty sweet, but to be a mare? something so darling, precious, beautiful, and desperately wanted? that they would leave everything behind just so they could be with you, everything they could ever want in a waifu, forever?
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>it caused a sharp pain in your heart to think about being loved, and cared about at such a high level
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>but love stories always gave you some kind of hope, that maybe the future would be the same for you
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>although after the brad breakup, you're not feeling so sure at the moment
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>you stop looking at the pictures in the pamphlet and finally read the contents inside
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>"MISSION STATEMENT: Our mission is to unite humankind with the pony of their dreams, and to help foster healthy relationships between human and pony."
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>"ABOUT US: Princess Cadence's Waifu/Horsebando Matchmaking Program has been a wildly popular program for the past 12 years with an impressive 100% success rate. How we have such a high success rate is simple; the powerful magic of the Crystal Heart has never been wrong!
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>Even though it's always been correct in it's matchups, we here at Princess Cadence's Waifu/Horsebando Matchmaking Program still think it wise to make sure that the happy couple has all of the resources and supplies one might need for their human spouse. Some items include human clothes, bigger beds to fit your human, free couple's counseling sessions and individual therapy, books in English on how to read Equestrian, and how to smoothly integrate into Equestrian culture."
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>then it cuts off
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>not because there isnt more text, but because there's another sticker over whatever the original text was
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>you read on
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>"We are happy to announce that one of the original goals of this program, the declining stallion population crisis, is finally over! And we're even happier to announce that we are now inviting human women to come to Equestria! Princess Cadence's Waifu/Horsebando Matchmaking Program is incredibly excited to collaborate with the female kind and we invite all who recieve this pamphlet to join the cause for love and human/pony unity!"
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>"HOW TO JOIN: It's super easy! Just follow these 3 steps and you'll be living the happily ever after that one can only dream of!"
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>happily ever after, eh?
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>this greatly appealed to the hopeless romantic side of you
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>and you love playing along with a joke, even if youre the only one to experience the bit
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>hey, who knows, maybe it'll actually work like all those goobers on the boards say
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>after all, the worst that can happen is that nothing happens and you're back to being a lonely loser sad sack
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>...
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>alright back to ponies, ponies can cope you out of anything
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>"Step 1: Set out a plate of carrots, apples, and sugar cubes. It doesn't matter if they're sliced or not, as long as they're all on a plate together."
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>you look up at your platter
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"Done."
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>"Step 2: Pack all of your favorite belongings in as many suitcases as you can carry. Please see list below on what's on forbidden from coming into Equestria."
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>the list below lists basic things like phones and weapons and other such tech that's beyond what's shown in the show, the
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>you'll be sad to leave your rinky-dink art tablet behind, but at least you'll be able to take your sketchpads, pencils, and other nondigital art stuff with you
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>youd commit cement shoes in a well if you couldnt bring your doodling or crocheting stuff with you
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>you pack everything you can
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>your favorite clothes, pony blanket, your most near and dear to your heart plushies, your pillow, hairbrush, toothbrush and toothpaste, soap, all the fun socks you have, swimsuit, etc.
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>youre one femanon that does NOT go unprepared
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>you drag your 2 suitcases and heavy backpack to the coffee table and pick up the pamphlet for the last time
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>"Step 3: Write your name on the lines below, once with your signature and once with your name written plainly. Then, simply go to sleep and wait! We'll see you soon, friend."
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>you run to get your favorite red glittery pen
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>if you're gonna sign your life away to magical cartoon horses, it'll at least be strawberry scented
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>and glittery
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>you sign and write down your name as best you can
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>while in Reality Land, you know this won't do anything and you'll have to put everything back tomorrow, the thought of being whisked off to your most favoritest and nostalgic show's land and marrying a handsome and loving stallion is the distracting, escapist fantasy that you need right now
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>its even kind of exciting
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>you could meet the princesses
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>you could meet best pony Fluttershy
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>you hope its not weird to have plushes of the Elements of Harmony ponies
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>not to mention 3 of them
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>two of which you made yourself
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>BUT YEAH ANYWAYS HAHAHA
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>above all else, you'll meet your perfect match
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>whatever that will look like
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>you honestly have no idea at this point
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>sure, there's certain traits you prefer
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>but will that really matter if the crystal's never been wrong?
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>if you set expectations for what he'll be like, then you'll disappoint yourself
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>at least that's what makes the most sense to you
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>despite the excitement and nerves from thinking about all the things that go very right or very wrong on your pretend pony trip, you manage to pass out
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>makeup asmr always helped you sleep
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>a few hours later, as you dream about being a beautiful pony princess getting married to your handsome stallion king
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>in the wee hours of the morning when nobody but the fattest of discord mods and most depressed of minimum wage workers are awake
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>a stout, glistening portal opened
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>your head HURTS
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>it hurts worse than a dozen tap dancing spiders stomping directly on your guts during "that time of the month"
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>you mustve stayed up too late
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>all 2 hours later than your typical bedtime
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>you groan as you blink open your crusty eyes
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>this couch was so comfortable that you didn't even want to get up
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>wait
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>your couch is alright, but it doesn't feel THIS soft and it isn't THIS big
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>you whip straight up, fully awake now
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>you're in a bed
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>it's definitely not your bed
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>in a small blue bedroom
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>which is also definitely not your bedroom
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>with suitcases next to the door that led to who knows where
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>these are definitely your suitcases, thankfully
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"Where the heck am I?"
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>panik.jpeg
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>your eyes dart around the room
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>it's honestly quite modest as there isn't much furniture
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>just the bed, a side table, a dresser with a big mirror on top, a window with curtains, and a soft carpet under the bed
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>well, if you were kidnapped, this was a lot nicer than what you'd assume a kidnapped person's bedroom would look like
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>you aren't in any sort of pain beyond your headache either, and your favorite pink pajama shirt and striped shorts were in tact, so you don't think anything's been done to you since you fell asleep
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>the best way to figure out where you are would be to open the curtains to the window
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>you roll out of bed with all the grace of a cheese wheel bouncing down a hill
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>wHAT'S THAT
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>oh
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>you stepped on a pair of the cutest, fluffiest, pink bunny slippers next to the bed
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>presumably they're for you, but you have big hobbit feet that never fit those "one size fits most" women's slippers or socks
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>darn you, genetics
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>but the fluffiness gets the better of you and try on the bunny slippers anyways
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>tfw they actually fit :D
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>tfw kidnappers somehow knew your shoe size D:
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>you scoot over to the window and open the curtains
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>ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!
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>you're in the Crystal Empire!
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>you're in Princess Cadence's castle!
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>you're in Equestria!
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>OH MY GOSH YOU'RE IN EQUESTRIA
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>huge, crashing waves of absolute joy and horror wash over you and the pit of your stomach
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>Are you dreaming? This feels like a dream come true! If you're dreaming, why are you here of all places? Ooh, you bet you'll meet the princesses and the mane 6 and marry your perfect horse husband and have the perfect happily ever after and this is gonna be the best dream ever!
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>If this is real, then you're here forever and you're never going to see your family again and what if the Crystal Heart finally screws up with your paring and then you're gonna be married soon to a total stranger who isn't going to treat you well and you have to adjust to this whole new world where oodles of things could kill you like magic or dragons or-
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>your headache is even worse now thanks to your hyperventalating and anxiety overload
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>let's uhh...
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>lay down
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>let's go back to bed
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>nothing scary happens in bed with your plushies to guard and comfort you
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>this is honestly the only thing you can really do at the moment
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>unless you want to go into the great unknown beyond the bedroom door
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>you really don't want to
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>you walk from the window to one of your suitcases to retrieve your plushies that you hope are still there
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>as you rummage through the suitcase, the door creeks open
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>you scrunch in on yourself like a little fried shrimp, frozen in place
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>a maid mare pokes her head in, furrowing her brows when she spots you
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>"Oh my, miss, whatever are you frightened about?"
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>that's a pony
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>OH MY GOSH SHE'S A PONY
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>PONYPONYPONYPONYPONYPOYNPOYNPOYNPYONYPOYNY
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>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>be Cuppa T.N. Honey, one of Princess Cadences many maids
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>and now you're standing before a curled up femanon
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>she's cowering before you like you're going to pull all of her mane out and poke her with hot irons
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>but her huge, dialated eyes sparkled at you as if some childhood dream of hers finally came true
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>she's... wimpering? squealing? you can't really tell
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"Miss Femanon? Are you alright?"
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>"(squeak)"
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>poor thing must be overwhelmed by all of this
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>this isn't the first human you've seen react like this
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>but you must carry out your job as the Princess instructed
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"Well, miss, I've been ordered by the Princess to tell you to please follow me to the throne room. I have some breakfast if you would like to eat something before we go."
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>you step aside to show her the trolley cart of pancakes, waffles, eggs, and other human breakfast foods sans anything with meat in it
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>she seems to perk up
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"What would you like?"
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>"W-waffles, please, ma'am."
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"Of course."
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>you gently smile as you give her the waffles along with some toppings of her choice
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"I don't wish to rush you, but the Princess would like to see you at your soonest convenience. Please eat and dress in proper clothes promptly."
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>she nods and starts eating
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>you always loved the grin on a human's face when they take that first bite of Equestrian food
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>you close the door to give her some privacy while you wait for her to be finished
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>be femanon again
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>so here you are
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>in Cadence's castle
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>you're following behind the pony maid as you walked down a long hallway to the throne room
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>in the show, the aesthetics of the castle are quite clean and pretty
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>but seeing it with your own eyes?
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>it's beautiful
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>the shimmery refraction of the crystals dance along the walls, pillars of shiny shard reaching up towards the ceiling
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>the pony maid in front of you was incredibly adorable
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>it was a childhood dream come true when you saw that pony in front of you
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>you would've passed out cold on the floor if she wasn't trying to keep you enganged in a conversation
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>it all felt so real
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>nope, you're not going back onto that downward spiral, let's just keep thinking this is a dream
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>that's a safer thought
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>yeah, it's a dream
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>you totally didn't sign your life away for the bit or because you felt so alone, nope
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>you're not actually stuck here forever
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>"Miss Femanon?"
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>you look up
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>"We're here."
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>she opens the tall throne room doors for you, gently ushering you in
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>the room was massive with intimidatingly tall ceilings and a wide, polished floor
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>the throne itself sat at the farthest end of the room
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>there, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself sat, smiling at you as you came in
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>"Good morning, Femanon! I hope that you were able to slept well after being brought to the Crystal Empire."
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>your brain was working at a million miles per hour with all kinds of things you very much wanted to say, but your mouth runs on potato power
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"I, uh, um, uhhh, yeahIguessIsleptprettywellPrincessthankyou."
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>She begins to step down from her throne
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>"I'm incredibly glad that you signed up for the program! It's always exciting to see how each human reacts when they get their match, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
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>She clears her throat
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>"It's my personal pleasure to welcome you to Equestria! We at the program so happy that you accepted our invitation to our fair land so that you and your special somepony can finally be together at last. I know what you're thinking, "This must be some kind of crazy dream," or something similar to that. I can reassure you that this is not a dream, hallucination, mental breakdown, or anything similar."
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>Cadence uses her magic to gently pinch you to prove her point
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>the excitmedread kicks in
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>it's like being full of excitement and drowning in dread at the same time! :D
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>"Is there anything you'd like to ask me so far?"
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>your potato power mouth refused to make any noises, so you shook your head
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>"If you ever have any questions or requests, don't be afraid to ask. I would love to help you so you can be more comfortable and get properly settled into Equestria."
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>even though you think you were currently having one of those funny lil things called a panic attack, the pleasant smile on Cadence's face made you feel a bit better
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>"I'd like you to follow Mrs. Honey to the human supply storage so you can get any basic necessities you might've forgotten. You are more than welcome to send a letter anytime you need something that's not avavilable at the local human supply storage wherever you may be. When you're done, meet me at the Crystal Heart so we can get you matched up! You may be dismissed now."
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>Cuppa T.N. Honey trotted towards you
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>"C'mon, miss, let's go."
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>you wave goodbye at Princess Cadence, meekly shuffling out of the throne room
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>gosh you feel like you made such a fool out of yourself
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>in front of second best princess no less
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>dang it
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>hopefully you weren't the first to act like a total dweeb around her
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>after some walking and going down a few flights of stairs, you get to the HSS
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>the human supply storage was more like a medium sized closet
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>suppose you over hyped it in your head
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>you open up a suitcase from the cart Mrs. Honey was pushing and begin to grab things like toothpaste or a comb
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>you already had everything, but having extras isn't a bad idea
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>"Are you feeling any better, miss?"
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"Hm?"
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>"I asked if you were feeling any better, Miss Femanon. You were awfully distressed this morning when I came to the door."
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"Umm..."
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>quick, lie!
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"Not really?"
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>dang it! you're terrible at lying!
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"I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I'm happy about and other stuff that makes me not so happy when I start thinkin' about. It's making it hard for me to fully enjoy the time I'll be spending here."
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>"Do you want to tell me about what's troubling you?"
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"No, thank you, ma'am."
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>surely, you're not the only one who actually liked her family back on Earth, right?
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>surely, other humans must have asked about visiting home before you?
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>maybe Princess Cadence and her team are working on somehow letting humans visit their home world without letting Equestria being exposed to Earth's governments
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>if that's the case, then you dont want to be yet another person asking about it
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>they're busy enough working on it and you bothering them won't make it go any faster
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>and that's just assuming if your asssumption is even remotely true
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>you don't want to be a pest to anybody
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>not to mention all the anxieties you were having about meeting this presumably perfect matchup
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>what if you ruin it
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>what if you weird him out so much that he asks for you to be sent back
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>what if he tries to brainwash you into this perfect little brainless trophy pet with no social life beyond him
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>what if he hates everything about you, from how conventionally unattractive you are to the sensitive, anxious, overthinking mess are on the inside
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>what if-
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>"You know you're not the only one who's felt anxious about this whole process, right, miss?"
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>Mrs. Honey put a hoof on your hip as she couldn't quite reach your shoulders despite your shortness
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>"I remember when I got matched up with my human husband. I was so terribly nervous!
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>"All of these awful thoughts and fears flurried through my mind like a great big blizzard that I couldn't control. But when I talked to some friends about it and finally met my then future husband, I felt much better. Something about the way he smiled at me let me know that everything was going to be okay."
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>"If you ever need to talk to a friend about anything that's bothering you, you send a letter my way. Alright, miss? You especially let me know if he's not treating you well at all so we can pull you out of there as quick as a Dash!"
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>she winks at you
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>dang it, you wanted to cry
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>this little mare barely knows you and she's already offering you more kindness than any human woman would've if she was in this mare's horseshoes
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>"Now, if you're all done with the closet, let's go drop off your belongings so the servants can deliver them to the train station when your match has been made."
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>she pats your hip reassuringly
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>"I'm sure he's going to be a real charmer!"
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>you wipe away the pin pricks of tears in your eyes and smile back at her
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"I hope so, Mrs. Honey, I hope so."
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-
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>it all happened so fast
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>it felt like only 5 minutes ago, you were standing in front of Princess Cadence, waiting as the Crystal Heart made your match
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>"Buck Wheat from Ponyville! Congratulations!"
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>all of the arrangements, paperwork, and all that fun legal stuff flew by in seconds as you and all of your things were whisked away into a train to head off to Ponyville
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>so here you are
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>purse held tightly in your lap
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>your suitcases beside you
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>sitting in a lonely train car
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>your anxieties and worries weren't being kind to you, so you were trying your very best to think about anything else at all to distract yourself
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>isn't it weird how there's horses in this world voiced by celebrities on earth?
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>does cheese sandwich have a music career?
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>maybe if you ever saw him, you could "suggest" songs (regurgitate your Weird Al faves) so he could make "original" songs (tunes you've obsessively listened to and sang along with a billion times) so "other ponies" (you) can "enjoy his musical talents" (you adored his music and desperately wished you could listen to mr yankovic's polkas right now)
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"ba ba bum"
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>clap clap
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"ba ba bum bum bum"
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>clap clap
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"ba ba bum"
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>clap clap
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"bumbumbumbumbum-"
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>"Miss."
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"YES- Yes, I'm so sorry, what's up?"
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>"We're nearly to Ponyville. If you peak your head out of the window, you'll be able to see the station. And please avoid singing too loudly. Thank you."
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"Of course! Sorry, ah ha ha."
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>how embarrassing,,
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>you weren't even singing that loudly, though sometimes you could be louder than what you intended
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>if you were texting a friend about how you felt, you would be typing "throwing up barfing spewing all over the floor and eating sharp rocks and dying" right now
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>you decide to peak your head out the window
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>the train is slowing down to make its stop, so you were able see Ponyville's station
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>oddly enough, you couldn't make out any pony there
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>maybe he's just late, life happens sometimes
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>you pull your head back inside
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>chugga chugga chugga chugga schhhhhhhhhhhhh
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>"Current stop, Ponyville! Current stop, Ponyville!"
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>guess it's time to get off
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>you grab your bags and walk off toward the front of the train
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>after a few minutes of waiting for the ponies in front of you to exit, you finally get off the train as the last passenger
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>there's now a few more ponies on the station
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>spouses, family members, friends that were waiting for their loved one
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>you got a couple of weird stares from a handful (hoof-ful?) of ponies
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>to be expected, you guess, they've probably only ever seen human men before
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>doesn't make you feel any better about your self-image though
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>looking around the small crowd, you don't see anypony that matches the written description you've got of this Buck Wheat guy
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>you double check the little booklet Mrs. Honey gave you
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>it gave you a brief on what he looked like, his birthday, his likes and dislikes, along with important info such as his home and work address, where the local hospital was, and whatnot
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>the letter said that Buck Wheat would be at the station...
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>no, bad brain, we aren't going to panic yet
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>like you reasoned earlier, he might just be late
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>maybe his work is keeping him later than he expected
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>or maybe he got hurt and he's getting patched up at the ER
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>or maybe he forgot that he said he would pick you up at the train station
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>or maybe he changed his mind when he got the info about you and hated what he read and he was disgusted by you that he's going to send you away back to the Crystal Empire and he was so appalled by who you were as a person that he called for you to be sent back home to Earth and now your family is mad at you because you disappeared and you didn't pick up any of their calls and they were worried about you and now you live in a van down by the river and you're eaten alive by the birds of the air
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>maybe he's just getting everything ready for you and buying ice cream and flowers to surprise you with! :D
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>phhhh nah that's completely irrational
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>so uh
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>guess it would be best if you sat and waited for him at the train station
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>you hope it doesn't take too long
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>you've been here for HOURS
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>it was late afternoon when you arrived and now the sun was setting on the horizon
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>while it was very pretty, you were also pretty sad that there wasn't a single sign of your match
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>there were a couple of stallions that trotted by that might've been him, but they didn't respond when you called his name
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>so you doodled and crocheted in the meantime
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>at least the nice mare inside the station was kind enough to give you water and let you use the bathroom in the station as you waited
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>perhaps it's time to just start walking to his house
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>youve been trying your best to be patient waiting here, but you really want to shower and settle into bed
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>as you put away your art supplies, you hear the sound of heavy trotting hooves and squeaky wagon wheels come towards the platform
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>big deal, ponies have been coming and going all day
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>the noise slows down and stops just behind you
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>a deep voice clears its throat
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>"Excuse me, miss? Are you... Femanon? Am I saying that right?"
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"What?"
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>you turn around to face the stallion with the squeaky wagon
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>oh my stars he's so *cute*
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>not just "squishable lil baby puppy" cute, but also "actually for realzies conventionally attractive" cute
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>he was a larger stallion, about Big Mac's size and build, with a light grey coat of fluffy fur
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>he had long, curly, dark grey hair that slightly covered his icey blue eyes, little freckles complimenting his cheeks
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>his cutie mark wasnt anything too special all marks considered, just a bale of hay
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>it made you think of summers with your cousins as they went out to bale hay and get ready for the county fair with their horses and cows
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>man
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>no! no feeling sad and nostalgic right now! you've got to make a good impression!
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>"Oh, I just asked if-"
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"Yes! Yes, I'm Femanon! Are You Buck Wheat?"
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>brb smashing head in with a hammer
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>"Yup, that's me! Sorry I'm so late pickin' you up, I should've sent somepony to tell ya I wasn't gonna make it on time so you could just go straight on to my place. It's been one heck of a hassle tryin' to get here, I'll tell you that much!"
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>he nervously chuckled as his ears pinned themselves down on his head
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>"How, uhhh. How'd your train ride go?"
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"It was alright, I guess."
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>...
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>sandpaper was smoother than how this interaction was going
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"What's the wagon for?"
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>"Oh! Yeah, yeah, that's for you and your stuff to sit in. I was goin' to put pillows in it, but I was in such a rush to get here that I just plum forgot. Sorry."
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"It's alright! Don't worry about it, it's all good."
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>at least he eventually showed up
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>it could be worse
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>but let's not have a breakdown in front of him right now
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"What caused you to be late anyhow?"
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>"It's kind of a long story, but I can tell ya while we head to my house. Or is it our house? Would it be considered our house now?"
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>that's a bit too much for you to think about right now
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>so you simply shrug
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>"Never mind, it's just silly ol' semantics. Throw yourself in and let's get going. I'd help but..."
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>Buck Wheat meekly gestured to the wagon hitched on his back and chuckle
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>you lightly giggle, more so out of politeness but what he said wasnt completely unfunny
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"Alrighty."
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>you gently place your belongings inside and crawl into the wagon
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>after making sure that you were settled in, Buck Wheat pulled off with you in tow
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>you ride in silence for a few minutes before speaking up
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"So, you were saying about why it was difficult to get to the station on time?"
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>"Right! Right, thank you fer remindin' me. Well, for starters my deliv'ry route went on much longer than it usually does. Buncha traffic, wrong addresses, humans tryin'a pet me, stuff like that."
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>"Then some big human guy stepped on my hoof, HARD. It was an accident, but I had to sit down for awhile after that 'cuz it hurt worse than sitting on an iron pitchfork that'd been out in the sun all day. Eventually I felt good enough to keep working, so I did my best to finish up as quick as a bunny! But by the time I was at my work's buildin', I was so tired and in pain from the runnin' around and that guy steppin' on me, that picking you up slipped my mind!"
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>"As I started walkin' home, one of my buddies yelled at me. He yelled, "Good luck with the new wifey, Buck!" It took me a minute before I realized 'oh yeah! I have to go pick up Miss Femanon!' so I came as fast as I was physically able to come get 'cha. I'm terribly sorry that I was so late, miss, and for any troubles you had while waitin' on me..."
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>well, you were sort of right
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>his work did keep him busy, he got hurt, and he forgot to come get you
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>but it wasn't nearly as awful as your anxieties made it out to be, and he's being very apologetic even though most if not all of what happened to him wasn't his fault
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>what a sweet guy :]
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"It's no problem! It sounds like it was all out of your control, so I don't blame you one bit. Now I feel bad for worrying so much, ah-haha."
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>"Thank you, miss Femanon, I still feel bad for bein' late 'n' makin you fret... D'you like ice cream? Humans like that, right?"
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>WOOOOO YEAH BABEYYYYYY
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"I LOVE ice cream! Ice cream sounds great!"
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>"Heck yeah! Let's go!"
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>Buck Wheat started to trot, his hurt hoof limping behind
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"Oh, don't trot if it hurts! The ice cream shop isn't going anywhere, it's not gonna grow legs and walk away."
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>you both chuckle as he slows down back to a steady walk
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>"Suppose you're right. Thank you."
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"For what?"
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>"Reminding me to keep walkin' and not overwork m'hoof."
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"You're welcome, I guess."
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>you smile at him
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>maybe things won't be as scary or bad as you thought
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>after a quick ice cream break, the two of you headed to Buck Wheat's house
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>it was a normal Ponyville house, a European style house with a straw roof and even a small balcony just big enough for 2 ponies to relax on
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>a humble and common abode for ponies to live in
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>his house was in the outskirts of Ponyville, on a small hill with a couple of big trees shading the house
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>a few acres of land surrounded the house, the neighbors a short walk away
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>the inside of the house was plain just like the outside
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>just a couch and a shaggy carpet in the living room
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>a table with two chairs in the kitchen with a fridge and mostly empty cabinets
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>when you first came through the door, a hoofpainted banner was spread on the wall
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>"Welcome Fem"
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>it had little smiling pony faces, hearts, and flowers painted in your favorite colors
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>Buck Wheat said he was running late for work so he couldn't finish it before he had to leave
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>"Thought I had more time before you came, but that's the princesses for ya. Never givin' you as much as a heads up before yer whole life as you know it changes!"
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>he chuckled with a tinge of pain in his voice
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>you understood, Ponyville probably wasn't the most informed when disasters like Tirek and Nightmare Moon hit this little town
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>screw celestia for gaslighting twilight about nightmare moon not being real
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>this is why she's worst princess baka
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>anyways
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>you had taken a nice, warm shower and now you were in nice, cozy jammies
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>they were one of your fave pairs
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>a pink long sleeve top and grey pants with a pocket on the backside that had two big holes, so it wasn't very useful as a pocket anyhow
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>you put a robe on top for a bit more modesty and walk down the stairs
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"Buck Wheat?"
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>"Mhm? What?"
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>poor guy was half-passed out on the couch and you woke him up :(
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"Sorry! I didn't realize you were falling asleep."
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>"Oh, don't worry a hair on your head 'bout it. What'd you need?"
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"Well, I was just wondering where I'm sleeping tonight?
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>as nice as he was, he's still pretty much a stranger to you and you don't feel super comfy sharing a bed with him quite yet
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>"I was thinkin' you could sleep up in the bed upstairs and I'd sleep down here on th'couch. The sheets are nice 'n' clean 'n' everythin' and I put some human thingamabobs on the dresser that I was told you'd need. That sound good to ya?"
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>you're SO relieved that you two were on the same "i want to sleep separately" wavelength
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>though you felt bad that he was having to give up his bed for you
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>he didn't look too upset about it though
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>he was smiling at you, tail wagging gently
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>can't blame the other humans trying to pet him while he was working, he looks so pet-able right now
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"Are you sure? I don't want to kick you out of your own bed, I really don't mind sleeping down here."
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>"I insist, Miss Femanon! A lady should sleep in a proper bed after a long, stressin' day.
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"Alrighty then, Buck Wheat. Oh! And simply call me Femanon, please. There's no need to call me miss."
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>"Then you just call me Buck. Nopony really calls me Buck Wheat. Unless I'm in trouble with my boss or my momma."
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>you both laugh
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"Guess I'll head to bed, then. See you in the morning?"
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>"Eeyup! Remembered t' tell the boss that I'm takin' the next week off so I could spend some time w' you."
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"Neato burrito, I'll see you tomo-"
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>"Neato burrito?"
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"It's a human expression. It just means neat."
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>"Well, then I hope your sleep is very neato burrito!"
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>you chuckle
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"Thank you, Buck. Sleep well and sweet dreams!"
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>"G'night, Femanon, sleep tight 'n' don't let the flashbees bite!"
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>you smile at him, turning around to walk back up the stairs
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>what a cutie :]
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to be continued!
by TheNavyManatee