Chef Anon - Taste Testing


                                            A new fix about Anon trying to bring cooking to Equestria. Without clop for better or worse.


                                            Its been almost a year since I was dropped into this technicolor land of intelligent ponies. Was a pretty big shock but I’ve learned to live among them. Thanks mostly to the ponies who live here. I have never been more welcome anywhere in my entire life. I’ve made friends that will last forever. People I can count on to help me with anything no matter the situation. There is only one real problem. They can’t cook food to save there life.

                                            I’ve been to the fanciest restaurants in Equestria and the best they could come up with was pastries and cold raw veggies, sometimes in a sandwich if they were feeling imaginative. It is because of this that I have come to a decision. I will bring cooking to Equestria. I don’t quite know how yet but I swear I will share my recipes with the world even if I can barely remember them.

                                            I dream of a restaurant packed to the brink with ponies enjoying cooked food.


                                            Anon” And that is why I invited you all over to my place for supper. I want you all to be my test group. I‘m hoping you all enjoy the food I make tonight.”

                                            >Twilight, Pinkie and Spike all look excited.

                                            >Pinkie jumping up and down. ”You‘re going to open up a restaurant?! That is so NEEEETO”

                                            >Twilight “We’ll do whatever we can to help.”

                                            Anon “Well I can’t really afford a restaurant… All I could get was a food kart. Custom made by the most talented cheapest carpenters I could find. It’s a start at least

                                            Anon “Only problem I foresee is Ponies not liking the sauces so I’ve made a few to try out on you. You would not believe how hard it is to make sauces without salt but every time I tried to get any at the market I was treated like I was joking.”

                                            >Twilight ”Uhhhhh”

                                            Anon” But I think I was able to make some decent sauce without it. A soy sauce, cheese sauce and a tomato sauce. Spike my assistant chef not only helped make but also helped shape the taste. Thanks again Spike. Couldn’t have done it without you.”

                                            >Spike rubbing the back of his head. “Ahh thanks Anon”

                                            >Twilight jokingly “You‘re not trying to steal my number one assistant from me are you Anon”

                                            Anon ”No no. Now lets get to the taste testing. For starters I’ll make us some stir fry.”

                                            Anon stats the burner and puts some water to boil on. Anon then grabs his cutting board, dicing carrots, cauliflower, bell peppers broccoli and a quarter of a chilli pepper. Throwing the diced veggies onto the stovetop with some vegetable oil. Dunking the homemade coarsely cut noodles into the boiling water Anon puts a metal bowl over the veggies with a little water to cook them faster with steam.

                                            >Twilight taking notes “How long does this normally take anon?”

                                            Anon “A few minutes. I’m not just throwing cold veggies on a plate and calling it supper here. I have to cook the veggies and noodles. Hopefully without burning them. A burned veggie will ruin the whole dish.”

                                            >Twilight “Where did you learn to do this?”

                                            Anon crushes up some garlic and shifts the veggies around. “Pretty much all humans learn to cook at one point or another. Every human should at least know how to feed themselves. Though there are a few exceptions.”

                                            Anon then estoppels the soy sauce.

                                            >Pinkie “Blehhh Whats that smell?!”

                                            >Twilight stunned “Is this something you want us to eat?!”

                                            Anon “Its just the soy sauce. Don’t worry about the smell, it has a very rich taste. Just ask spike right next to the cheese sauce it was his favourite.” Taking the noodles out of the pan with some tongs Anon adds them, the soy sauce and the crushed garlic to the veggies.

                                            >Pinkie “But spike eats anything and EVERYTHING”

                                            >Spike “Hey Anon says I have a good pallit.”

                                            Anon “Pallet”

                                            >Spike “Ya that!”

                                            >Pinkie and twilight share a worried look.

                                            Anon “Hey don’t hate it till you try it. Then at least I’ll know I need to change it some more for ponies.”

                                            Checking the veggies one last time Anon scoops out three portions and sets the plates in front of his guests.

                                            Anon “Ok eat up and don’t skimp on the feedback. I need to learn to cook for ponies.”

                                            >Giving Twilight a frightened look Pinkie takes a hesitant bite.

                                            >Pinkie “HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT” she screams rushing around the table flipping forks and spoons everywhere. “Water WATERRRR”

                                            Anon “There was so little hot pepper in there! It can’t be that bad!” Filling a cup of water and handing it to the distraught pony.

                                            >Pinkie drinks it down in one gulp. Pushes Anon out of the way she turns the faucet to full and drinks till her stomach swells.

                                            Anon “I’m sorry Pinkie. I didn’t know ponies had such a poor tolerance to spicy foods. Spike never mentioned that” Looking over at Spike who’s already finished his and is sneaking bites off of Twilights untouched plate.

                                            >Spike “Its really good!”

                                            Twilight looks to Anon pleadingly.

                                            Anon “Its ok Twilight you don’t need to eat any. Next time I’ll try making it without any hot peppers. Will you stick around for another try? I’m making a cheese dish next.”

                                            >Twilight “Of course I’ll stay. Just please no spicy business.”

                                            Anon “Thank you Twilight and sorry again Pinkie.” Pinkie looks up with tears in her eyes. “Don’t worry. No more spicy foods.”


                                            ````````````````


                                            >Sighing Anon gets out another pan and starts making the roe with flour and butter. Pouring in the milk when the color starts to darken. Constantly stirring trying to mix the roe into the milk. A little down the first recipe was such a failure. Hopefully they reserve judgement till after they taste the other recipes.

                                            >Twilight “How long does this recipe take?”

                                            Anon “This recipe takes about 10-15 minutes.”

                                            >Twilight “Ten to fifteen minutes!? No pony is going to want to wait for that from a food kart!.”

                                            Anon “Well it will go a lot faster on the kart since I will have both the sauces and the noodles precooked. They shouldn’t have to wait long. I’m just making this sauce fresh because it tastes a lot better when made and eaten fresh.”

                                            >With the roe and milk mixed Anon adds the cheddar. Stirring and mixing it all together.

                                            Anon “This recipe is especially easy. Since its just cheddar sauce noodles and broccoli.”

                                            >Within a few minutes the sauce is ready and Anon dishes up some more pasta with broccoli and pours the sauce on top.

                                            Anon “I hope you like this one a lot more then the stir fry.”

                                            >Spike digs in immediately demolishing his food.

                                            >Twilight blows on her portion. Cooling it down before trying a fork full.

                                            >Twilight: “Hmmm this is really good!”

                                            >Pinkie seeing Twilight enjoying her food closes her eyes and stuffs a cheesy piece of broccoli in her mouth.

                                            >Pinkie: ”Hmmmm that really is yummy nummy!”

                                            >Seeing them all enjoying your food lifts a weight off your shoulders. Thank goodness they liked something. Hopefully the tomato sauce is as much a success.

                                            >Spike belches over his empty plate.

                                            >Twilight “Spike!”

                                            >Before Spike can apologise Pinkie belches with such force it shakes the table.

                                            >All three of us stare at Pinkie. Stunned.

                                            >Pinkie covers her mouth with her hooves. Her face flushed.

                                            >Pinkie: “Oops…..teeheee….sorry”

                                            Anon: “Well ok……. you all seemed to enjoy that. Any comments? Criticisms?

                                            >Twilight: “Can there be more veggies? That felt kind of heavy. The sauce was really really good though.”

                                            >Spike: “Can you put more sauce on it? That was the best part!”

                                            >Pinkie: “Ya more cheese!”

                                            Anon: “Well the heaviness is probably from the cheese sauce so adding more would only make it worse. I could try and add less roe or add some crème. That might make it feel lighter.”

                                            >Taking there plates and putting them in the sink Anon prepares for the final taste test. Vegetarian Spaghetti.