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Cardboard Cutouts

By OrwellRedenbacher
Created: 2024-07-01 19:22:16
Expiry: Never

  1. >"What is it this time?"
  2. "No good, not now. I need to review it sober, and then it'll probably still suck."
  3. >"Why review when you could just post it?"
  4. "Because to quote Gaben, suck is forever."
  5. >"You hold yourself in too high of a regard."
  6. "Why not? I'm one of less than ten people who writes here anymore. I can afford to think highly of myself."
  7. >"Your last 'stroke of literary genius' was an SCP that's a tranny that splits by mitosis and then fights itself to the death. You're cliche at best."
  8. >You tack away at the keys with your hooves, a skill that takes fucking millennia to accomplish
  9. >Sometimes you wish you hadn't taken your own fingers away
  10. "Cliche is cliche for a reason... there we are. Read it and weep."
  11. >"A rip-off of Gunslinger Girl with petponies... what the fuck is this?"
  12. "It's edgy."
  13. >"You care about more than that now."
  14. "Try me, I'll hit enter."
  15. >"Do it, see if I care. But like you said, suck is forever."
  16. >You let out a string of literal and figurative slurring.
  17. >Your clone, staring at you as if through the leak, smirks at you.
  18. >She presses a hoof to your cheek and you feel her pulsing heartbeat
  19. >"If you call me that, you mean it for yourself too."
  20. "No, no. I'm even less than you are."
  21. >"We're both a literary exercise."
  22. "Damn, I'll bet you feel cool for breaking the fourth wall. Next you'll be begging for anal like that faggot Deadpool."
  23. >"God is dead and Stan Lee raped his corpse."
  24. "Amen."
  25. >The two of you look around the shitty little motel room laboratory
  26. >True to other you's words, you're in a story.
  27. >The bunsen burners are lit, but the alcohol flames look like that faux fabric fire shit
  28. >and everything is just generally desaturated except for the two of you
  29. >Not that your coats aren't boring damn colors
  30. "Nothing satisfies you anymore."
  31. >"You haven't even given the Meslam story a fair shake. It's always some excuse about how you'll get to it when you finish the next thing. Then, just a few minutes ago, I see you digging through archives from 2019 for scraps of some sort of far-flung nostalgia. What the fuck do you think we'll find there?"
  32. "I don't know! But it's sure as hell got to be better than this rotting corpse of a general. No wonder everyone but you moved on."
  33. >"and you. Hey, let's get a third clone and we can be the three stooges."
  34. "Fuck you."
  35. >"No, fuck you leathermare!"
  36. >You growl and pounce on her, a knife materializing in your muzzle from nowhere
  37. >"Woah! Secure contain protect my dude! Didn't know we were cannibalizing ideas."
  38. "It would be too cliche."
  39. >"But cliches exist for a reason."
  40. "Okay, I've changed my mind."
  41. >You drive the knife into her throat and she grins at you devilishly.
  42. "Lemme take the fun out of it for you. You were either going to ask if this is suicide or murder, or just say 'I always come back.'"
  43. >She frowns, then quickly and unceremoniously bleeds out and dies
  44. >The door breaks down
  45. >"Mobile task force delta-9, we've got the anomaly on optics."
  46. "I'll go peacefully. Can't be any worse than here. Have you been briefed on my properties?"
  47. >They chatter further, clearly not paying your words any attention
  48. >You sigh, considering rendering enough space for an SCP arc where you try to escape like it's containment breach and you're thumbnail clickbait faggot markiplier
  49. >But you're tired, it's been a long life
  50. >So you go willingly into the doggy crate and lay down your head on the single, uncomfortable pillow like a good girl as they walk you out into the non-space parking lot
  51. >Into oblivion
  52. End of line.

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