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By The Book

By SmutAnon
Created: 2024-11-14 02:06:21
Updated: 2024-12-19 20:50:19
Expiry: Never
anoncelestiaocsafe/rgre/greentextrgrefor now anyway

  1. >Be Strict Standard.
  2. >With a name like that, ponies usually think you're some kind of census taker, or measurer, surveyor, or something else along those lines.
  3. >But no. Not with a cutie mark like yours.
  4. >A book, with a pair of hoofcuffs imposed over it.
  5. >You are a keeper of the law.
  6. >THE LAW!
  7. >Which is why what you're doing right now almost makes you puke.
  8. >Gritting your teeth, you use your iron will and discipline to focus on what's important.
  9. >Your squad glance at you, waiting for the signal.
  10. "When that mare passes," You whisper, observing one of the usual Canterlot fops trotting by from an alley you're all crammed in to.
  11. >Bloodthirsty grins bloom on Breaker's and Warder's faces, the twins elated by finally getting a chance for some real action.
  12. >Their expressions are mirrored in some way by every mare, with only Brick, the sole stallion, remaining stoic, though you do notice him set his jaw grimly as he grits his teeth.
  13. >You all know that this is probably it. The end.
  14. >But by Celestia's teats, if you're going down, you're going to take the bastards down with you.
  15. "Now. GO GO GO!!!"
  16. >Brick leads the charge. While he's slower, you'll need his earth pony mass and strength to get through the door in one blow.
  17. >Not that the others can't soften it up for him a little, first.
  18. >Warder and Breaker charge up their horns as they gallop, twin bolts of magic slamming into the door.
  19. >There's a loud blast and ribbons of magic slowly fading away as the wards on the door burn out, the wood cracking a little, but not breaking.
  20. >Of course it was warded up to the nines. But you doubt that whoever did it was expecting mares of their caliber to be the ones that'd try to break it. The siblings could probably easily qualify as elite battle mages if they cared to join the army, but they were plenty happy in the regular city guards so far.
  21. >Who knew. Maybe they'll go there afterwards, if the army will accept them after getting dishonorably discharged for this illegal raid. Probably not.
  22. >Smashing through the weakened door with all his strength, Brick neighs furiously as he rolls inside.
  23. >Flapping your wings, you and the rest of the squad follow, filing into the building as fast as you can.
  24. >Your eyes are immediately drawn to the excessive finery all over the large foyer, all silks and rich carpets on every possible surface.
  25. >Your target is ponies, though. Like the one panicked greeter mare that's currently diving behind her desk.
  26. "STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW!"
  27. >You don't expect her to stop, of course, pumping your wings and diving after her.
  28. >You don't get to catch her, though, as she disappears in a flash of light, your hooves slamming on the ground where she was but moments prior.
  29. "Wha-"
  30. >You could have sworn she was an earth pony, though! How did she do that?!
  31. >No time, damn it.
  32. >Fortunately, your squad isn't sitting by idly while all of that is happening.
  33. >You discussed the plan extensively beforehoof, and speed is key here. Every pony knows to go after whatever target is nearest.
  34. >Brick bucks at a door leading somewhere deeper into the building, with Warder prodding it with her magic.
  35. >Unfortunately, it seems that the teleporting earth mare triggered some kind of alarm, as the sound of bells starts ringing across the building.
  36. >Breaker's voice echoes from up the stairs.
  37. >"Another shielded door here, breaking it down!"
  38. >You quickly make some calculations.
  39. >Six ponies with you, three left outside to cover the exits. Two by the lower door, so there's three trying to bust down the upper floor one.
  40. >And Breaker is with them, so they have more than enough power for that.
  41. "Brick! Incoming!" You yell, making your decision.
  42. >Flapping your wings as hard as you can, you cannonball towards the door, Brick retracting his legs after another fierce buck that makes the walls shake.
  43. >Warder conjures a shield around you as you slam into the door, just shy of destroying it completely.
  44. >Instead, you get stuck inside it halfway, wriggling for a few moments to widen the hole and force yourself through.
  45. >Jumping forward, you look around as Brick smashes it down completely.
  46. >A sitting lounge, and just like the foyer, it's fancy as all Tartarus.
  47. >Large bar by one wall, drinks, comfy chairs, sofas, huge pillows...
  48. >And completely empty. There's some unfinished drinks around, but not a single pony.
  49. "Damn it! Damn it all! Upstairs, now! Like your life depends on it! Warder!"
  50. >"Yes, sarge!"
  51. >Once again, she casts a shield around you as you blast your way upstairs, the sound of splintering wood and creaking metal sounding out from the abused door.
  52. "COMING IN HOT!"
  53. >Diving over your mare's heads, you slam into this door as well.
  54. >This time, you manage to break through, folding your wings and rolling to a stop on the floor as the shield dissipates.
  55. >Breaker is already galloping ahead, her horn fired up as she starts blasting at a mare at the end of a long corridor.
  56. >She shrieks in terror, ducking down, but still attempting to crawl towards a door at the very end.
  57. >Breaker keeps her suppressed, though, and as you clamber to your hooves, Warder reaches the top of the stairs as well, seeing the situation and conjuring a shield over the door, just as the mare reaches for the handle.
  58. >Her hoof bounces off, and she stares stupidly at the shield for a second as a stunner bolt whizzes right past her muzzle.
  59. >That knocks her out of her trance, and she taps some kind of ornate peytral that she's wearing.
  60. >With a flash of light, she's gone.
  61. >Stern Hoof, your other earth pony bruiser, slams a wall, snorting angrily.
  62. >"Bucking all of them can teleport?! What is this place staffed by, Celestia's School's professors?!"
  63. "Talk later!" You yell, galloping forward. "Check all of the doors! Breaker, Warder, with me!"
  64. >While the others look through the other doors, all of which are ajar, the three of you gallop towards the final one.
  65. >You glance at the rooms as you pass them by.
  66. >Fancy beds, with the smell of sex, incense, and perfumes wafting out from each and every one of them. All empty, though.
  67. >Oh yeah. This was a brothel, all right. "Chasing ghosts" your tailhole.
  68. >As you reach the final door, Warder removes the shield, and you give it an experimental kick.
  69. >It's locked, but not shielded and reinforced like the other ones are.
  70. >Without a word, Breaker shoots clean through the lock as Warder opens it for you.
  71. >Galloping in, you immediately scan the room.
  72. >Another bed, and on it...
  73. >"What's that?" The unicorn twins chorus in a duo, tilting their heads.
  74. "Dunno. Haven't seen whatever he is before," You grunt, taking in the sight.
  75. >There's a long, thin form stretched out on the bed.
  76. >There's little doubt that it's a he, though, a noticeable tent formed under the thin silk blanket.
  77. >He is asleep, or, more likely, drugged into uncosciousness.
  78. >Flaring your nostrils, you smell the tell-tale scent of herbs and sedative drugs, as well as sexual stimulants.
  79. >His forelegs are chained to the bedposts with hoofcuffs.
  80. >The cuffs themselves are soft and covered in some fuzzy material, but the chains are definitely real.
  81. >"Well, boss, if we had any doubts before..."
  82. >You nod as the rest of the squad come inside the room.
  83. >"Everything is empty, they got every single one- oh hello there, big guy," Thunder Spark purrs.
  84. >Stern Hoof smacks the unicorn upside her head with a metallic clang.
  85. >"Focus. Orders, sarge?"
  86. >You trot closer to the unfamiliar creature, perking your ears and flaring your nostrils again.
  87. >Listening to his breathing and heartbeat, you bite your lip.
  88. "Hospital, obviously. He is the biggest and most important bit of evidence that we have. We have to protect him with our lives, got it? Now come on, get him out of these chains. Thunder Spark, get outside and signal the others. Tell Dive and Gale to prepare a stretcher. Ward, conjure something up and levitate him gently. Wrap him in the blanket."
  89. >Breaker cuts through the cuffs as Warder conjures a magical stretcher, moving his limbs to his sides and lifting the mystery stallion into the air.
  90. >With a nod, you all move out, with you taking point.
  91. >As you get downstairs, you see Sharp Gaze already inside, taking photos of everything.
  92. "Be careful. They were prepared in ways we weren't even expecting," You call out to her as you trot by.
  93. >"Yeah? How?" She asks, not turning to look at you.
  94. "Teleporting earth ponies," You grumble.
  95. >"For real?"
  96. >"They had teleportation amulets," Breaker supplies. "All of them got away, including the victims. Except for this guy."
  97. "What are- Never mind. You can explain later."
  98. >Trotting outside, you find Winter Gale and Dive Dodge, the other two pegasi of your squad already waiting.
  99. >You thought covering the exits was a smart idea, but that was before you knew the suspects could bucking teleport out.
  100. >Not that it would have mattered, you suppose. More ponies would have just clogged up the tight corridors.
  101. >"What's the sitch, sarge?" Dive asks, looking at the creature.
  102. "More or less what we expected. There's the most lavish sex-slave brothel you ever saw in your lives inside," You quickly explain. "Everyone got away, though, except for this guy, and he's drugged pretty badly. We need to get him to the hospital, stat."
  103. >"Southern's closest, right?" Gale asks, hitching up to the stretcher as Warder deposits her cargo.
  104. "No, we're going Royal," You shake your head. "They're the ones best equipped to treat non-equines, since they're the designated ones to treat delegates to the Palace if some diplomat or visitor falls ill. I'll take point. The rest of you, catch up on hoof."
  105. >"Yes, sarge!"
  106. >They nod or salute as you flap your wings, taking off, the pair with the stretcher following along.
  107. >It's a tense flight, but no one interrupts you, despite many pegasi giving you curious looks.
  108. >Once you land and enter the hospital, your armor and entrance attracts a fair amount of attention from the staff.
  109. >"Combat injuries, ma'am?" A young mare asks, trotting closer.
  110. "No. Sexual abuse victim, heavily drugged, possibly suffering malnutrition or dehydration, unknown species," You summarize, the "unknown species" bit getting a bunch of raised eyebrows as more ponies crowd around you.
  111. >They take a few looks at him, quickly examining his pupils, his heartbeat and his breathing, before driving a gurney over and gesticulating towards it.
  112. >"Deposit him there, please! And you, get Doctor Swift!" One of the older mares commands a younger one.
  113. >Turning to you, she raises her eyebrows as they begin wheeling him off, the three of you trotting along.
  114. >"I'm guessing you can't tell me anything about him, can you?"
  115. "Not a thing," You confirm. "We literally busted him out of an illegal brothel some... Twenty minutes ago or less. Never saw anything like him before. All I can tell you is that there was clearly massive money in the operation, so we're going to stick around to protect him."
  116. >"That bad, huh? Alright, but you're staying outside the operations room while we work on him."
  117. "Understood."
  118. >And older mare, presumably Doctor Swift, trots over just as he gets wheeled into the room, the doors closing in front of your nose.
  119. >You sigh, the adrenaline wearing off slightly as shivers run across your body.
  120. >Resting your head against the door, you mutter under your breath.
  121. "I hope to Celestia he survives. We could really use the faces of whoever did that to him."
  122. >Dive shrugs.
  123. >"He should, sarge. I mean, I doubt whoever was running that thing wanted their colts to die, right? Sex and date rape drugs aren't lethal... Usually."
  124. "Here's to hoping," You nod. "There's no telling how long he's been in that state. Could be years, remember?"
  125. >They nod, their expressions clouding a little.
  126. >It's been a long road that led you here.
  127.  
  128. ********
  129.  
  130. >Time passes while you wait.
  131. >The rest of your squad catches up with you, all of you standing about near the operating room.
  132. >Junior doctors come and go, all of them giving you helpless shrugs when you ask for an update.
  133. "How long has it been now?" You finally ask, your mouth dry and your stomach empty.
  134. >"Almost three hours, I think," Stern Hoof supplies.
  135. "Damn. I don't think this is normal," You huff.
  136. >"Well, he is an unfamiliar species... Guess the doctors are just being extra slow and careful," Thunder Spark shrugs.
  137. "Yeah... Mare, I need food. Who's up for a run?"
  138. >After a few moments of deliberation, the unicorns are sent out.
  139. >Rather than go for hospital food (yuck), they go out to get takeout from some eatery that they know nearby.
  140. >Before long, they return, and you dig into your greasy, filling, delicious junk food.
  141. >You keep glancing at the doors as you eat, but they still don't open.
  142. >Only when you're all finished do they finally open, the doctors slowly wheeling out the patient, their expressions haunted.
  143. >His fancy silk blanket has been replaced with a hospital one, though he doesn't look much better.
  144. >The old doctor approaches you, her face set in a hard frown.
  145. >"Pardon me, ma'am...?"
  146. >You stand up in a parade stance.
  147. >"Sergeant Strict Standard of the City Guard, ma'am. How may I help?"
  148. >"Doctor Swift Diagnosis of the Royal Hospital. Pleasure to make your acquaintance... Well, not really, given the circumstances. Sergeant, what kind of dark magic torture pit did you drag this poor creature out from?!"
  149. >Your eyes go wide at the sudden question, as do the rest of your squad's.
  150. "What? I'm sorry, doctor, was there a misunderstanding? We rescued him from-"
  151. >"An illegal brothel, yes? Well, they were doing something far more than raping creatures there, then," She sniffs.
  152. >You feel a mild chill run down your back.
  153. "...Like what?"
  154. >"We don't know. I never- none of us ever saw anything like that. He is alive, he is breathing. But he has NO MAGIC, sergeant. We're not sure if he actually even is alive any more, actually. Or if he's some kind of... Sex homunculus, or something. But then, he'd have magic animating him!"
  155. "Celestia..."
  156. >You're quite a bit out of your depth here, and it clearly shows on your face as the Doctor's expression softens.
  157. >"Relax, I'm not blaming you or anything. But this is quite the situation that we found ourselves in. We're going to have to come up with some new treatments if we want to purge and un-drug him."
  158. "Why?"
  159. >"Well, it seems that his organs have lost, or never had to begin with, an ability to process, digest, and filter out magic. So the magical drugs that he's been pumped with are staying in his system, only getting flushed out in absolutely tiny amounts with sweat and urine."
  160. "But that means he'll get rid of them eventually, right?"
  161. >"If he lives that long. See the yellowish tinge on his skin? That means his liver is failing. We need to find a way to purge them out of his system faster, before they kill him."
  162. >You purse your lips as you think.
  163. "There's all kinds of anti-venom and poison purging potions-"
  164. >"All of which are magical, made from more magical plants," The doctor grins wryly, having anticipated it.
  165. "...Ah."
  166. >"Indeed. We'll keep working. For now, though, we have to sit down and think. We'll assign him a room, and you can have it all to yourself and him. Excuse me."
  167. >You nod as she hurries away. the junior doctors and nurses wheeling the patient further in.
  168. >Nodding to your squad, you follow along as they lead you to one of the lifts, bringing him to one of the higher floors.
  169. >Finding the room, all of you filter in, the others trotting out, save for a nurse and one junior doctor.
  170. >The doctor nods to you somewhat awkwardly, eight bulky guards taking up quite a lot of space.
  171. >"So, I don't actually know the protocols here, so just... Make yourself comfortable, I guess? I'll get some chairs. We'll keep him under constant observation. You're not going to stop the staff from coming and leaving, are you?"
  172. "No, of course not. As long as they're real doctors and nurses, and not just someone coming in to off our witness."
  173. >"Damn. Is it actually that bad? I never even heard of something like this happening before," She shakes her head while the nurse glances at you curiously.
  174. "Well, you heard the senior doctor, right? It looks like some really messed up things happened in that brothel. And if whoever ran it is that unscrupulous, well..."
  175. >"I see," She mutters under her breath.
  176. >"Are we actually in danger, ma'am?" The nurse asks.
  177. >You look over the colt.
  178. >He doesn't look particularly scared. Maybe even excited.
  179. "Probably not, but there are some pretty powerful ponies involved in this," You shrug.
  180. >"Wait, you actually know who they are? Why don't you arrest them?" Both of their eyebrows shoot up as your squad sniggers quietly.
  181. "Kind of," You grin wryly. "It's a long story of corruption and skullduggery. And I can't arrest them because they're my superiors. Not yet, at least."
  182. >"Oh my goodness! Are you allowed- Can you tell us more?" The nurse gushes.
  183. >You roll your eyes.
  184. >Of course a colt can't help but want to gossip, and you did just drop the juiciest bit he probably heard in his entire life.
  185. >Well, making noise is what you set out to do, so...
  186. "Usually, I wouldn't, but since I'm going against my corrupt bosses, yes, I do need as many ponies to know about this as possible. See, I've actually been chasing this sex trafficking ring for, what? A good three years now, I think."
  187. >As you glance at your squad, they nod.
  188. "There's a lot of details, but to make quite a long story shorter, it started with something very simple: noise complaints. Apparently, there was a place that a lot of carriages tended to visit in the middle of the night, for some strange reason. So, we had no clue what that was about. Hay, at first, we thought it was the nightly garbage collectors being too noisy, or something. Nothing even worth bothering with."
  189. >After standing so long near the operating room, you start pacing back and forth, stretching your muscles a little as you talk.
  190. "But after we sent a couple rookies to deal with it, things got strange. They definitely weren't garbage ponies, that was for sure. Sleek, all black, pretty much camouflaged carriages, without any identifying insignia at all. The rookies got spooked and didn't try to stop and search any of them, but they did observe the building that they were going to. After that, the assumption moved on to an illegal gambling or drug den. Mostly unheard of in Canterlot, but I hear they bust a dozen of those a week in Las Pegasus, so why not? So, standard procedure: we asked for a search warrant from a judge. Except..."
  191. >"They told you to get lost?!" The nurse asks excitedly, leaning towards you and forgetting the patient completely.
  192. >The doctor rolls her eyes, keeping her attention on the patient, though her ears are turned towards you.
  193. "Not so bluntly, no," You snort. "They just kept denying us or dragging it our for seemingly no reason, or telling us that there's nothing there. I kept making the requests, though, citing the continued sightings of the odd carriages and the unusual gatherings. It took several weeks, but they finally gave in. Except... When my squad and I went there, everything was gone. We busted in, and there was nothing but an abandoned building. Not a SPECK dust was left. It was as bare as bare can be. Not a trace of magic residue, no hoofprints. Nothing. Someone cleaned up really, really well."
  194. >"Oh."
  195. "Yup. After that, we suddenly became the laughing stock of the precinct. The chief commissioner herself commented that we were "chasing ghosts", and I was given a reprimand for wasting the Guard's time, even though every damn report was legitimate. It was pretty damn obvious that something was up, and the whole deal stank to high heaven. Unfortunately, I didn't have the faintest clue as to what was happening, and no proof save for a ludicrously clean and empty building."
  196. >Looking around, you see a jug of water on a table nearby, pouring yourself a glass and drinking it down.
  197. "It took a whole year for me to get a trace of them again. I have some acquaintances among the detectives and guards in the other units, so... I quietly started asking them to keep an ear out for specific details, sharing some of what happened with the ones I thought I could trust. They all agreed that the whole affair stank, so they helped me out, eventually finding a place with similar things happening around it. This time, though, I didn't even try asking for a warrant at first. I took a couple squaddies one night to go and take a peek at the place myself."
  198. "What we found was a drugged stallion, begging for help. Apparently, someone just snatched him off the street, drugged him up, had their way with him, dropped him in an alley, and poured a bunch of booze on him, to make him look like a passed out drunk. We didn't bother trying to get close to the building then, we just took him to a hospital, trying to get a coherent statement out of him."
  199. >"He couldn't have been drugged too bad if he could still talk, right?" The doctor asks.
  200. "He was," You shake your head. "But we waited all night for him to sober up. See, the only reason he was conscious at all was because he was apparently on painkillers and other drugs for half a year, and built up a pretty big resistance to them. From what he told us, there was an airship accident that hurt him really badly and killed two mares from his herd, so once he healed up and stopped being loopy from the drugs, he became badly depressed, and got into drinking to numb the pain. And I'm guessing someone saw him, and thought they could have their way with him without him remembering anything or having any suspicions the day after. But, his drug resistance messed that up."
  201. >"Since that was two years ago, I'm guessing it went nowhere as well?" The doctor inquires.
  202. "Pretty much. I thought we had something huge there. I thought that incident was so scandalous and massive, they'd have to immediately issue us a warrant for a raid. But nope. "There's no proof that stallion and that building are connected in any way, this was probably an isolated incident,", blah blah blah. Same story. I didn't even expect them to give me the warrant, so when it finally showed up, I was actually confused as to what it was for. I guess they wanted to rub my nose in it on purpose, though. When we went in - same story. Clean building. Not a trace of habitation anywhere."
  203. >"So how many times did that scenario play out?" The nurse blinks in disbelief.
  204. "Three, though technically, the third one happened in the western precinct, so it wasn't my jurisdiction. Like I said, I had a couple detectives keeping an eye out in other precincts, though, and I did catch wind of it happening. So I talked to some of the ponies that were working on it and gave them advice about what happened to me and what was probably going to happen to them. I didn't actually know them all that well and they didn't believe a thing I said, but when everything unfolded *exactly* the way I told them, they came to me, all wide-eyed and apologetic. So, the traffickers got away yet again, but my little web of informants and co-conspirators grew a lot that day."
  205. >"And fourth time was the charm. You managed to save him," The doctor nods at the patient.
  206. >"How did you manage to get them to issue a warrant, though?" The nurse scratches his head.
  207. >You snort, then laugh, your squad grinning and sniggering along.
  208. "Ha! I didn't, of course, I just got my mares - and stallion - and we busted in like nobody's business! Mare, we tore through there like a hurricane! Damn bastards were ready, though. Celestia's teats, I swear, I could hardly believe my eyes!"
  209. >While you're talking and pacing, you turn away from the door, so you don't notice it opening.
  210. >The laughter behind you turns into a dead silence, though, which immediately puts you on edge.
  211. >Whirling around, you set your lips into a tight line, ready to stand and fight-
  212. "Princess Celestia?!"
  213. >Your jaw falls almost to the floor as you see who's entering the room, Royal Guard stallions in tow.
  214. >"Yes, my little pony? What was that about my teats and your eyes? I don't really believe the two were ever acquainted..."
  215. >You cough and sputter, backing up in fear and embarrassment.
  216. "Whu- who- wha-"
  217. >"And what was that about you tearing through some place?"
  218. "I, uh, well..."
  219. >She has a well-practiced smile, but her gaze is cold.
  220. >"Take your time. Compose yourself. But I want an answer. A full one. As fast as possible, please. I do not take the news of stallions in my city getting enslaved for some mare's gratification lightly."
  221. >Hyperventilating, you nod, glancing at your squad.
  222. >They're all tense as buck, standing and saluting to the Princess.
  223. >"At ease," She says calmly, but her tone is still cold, and puts you in anything but ease.
  224. "Well, we- I-"
  225. >You smack yourself on the chestplate a few times to clear your lungs.
  226. "Apologies, princess. I was hoping you'd get involved... I did not expect it would be this fast, though."
  227. >A single eyebrow perfectly rises up.
  228. >"Elaborate."
  229. "I have been chasing a suspected sex trafficking ring for a little over three years now. I had next to no proof so far, but I didn't want to give up, so in the end, my squad and I all decided to take drastic measures."
  230. >She tilts her head, ever so slightly.
  231. >"From what I heard, I am assuming you conducted an unauthorized search of some kind?"
  232. >You nod.
  233. "Exactly, your highness. I was unable to corner them otherwise, and since I have reason to believe my superiors are actively working with them, and are thwarting any attempts at catching them, I had to resort to this."
  234. >Her professional smile is gone, replaced by a neutral frown.
  235. >"Elaborate."
  236. >Instead of being cold, though, the temperature in the room starts rising, Celestia's mane glowing brighter.
  237. >You nod, recounting the same story you just told the junior doctor and the nurse.
  238. >As you keep talking, Celestia's neutral expression turns into a frown, the room starting to heat up noticeably.
  239. >You try not to panic as you feel sweat droplets running down your face and under your armor.
  240. >The nurse whimpers, and the doctor, her ears pinned back in fright, clears her throat.
  241. >"Your Highness, I beg of you, stop! I get wanting to be intimidating, but this heat is not good for our patient!"
  242. >Celestia turns her baleful glare at the doctor, who's hindlegs give out from fright, the young mare collapsing on her rear and covering her face with her forelegs.
  243. >"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry -"
  244. >Celestia blinks, getting a hoof on herself, her expression turning sad. Her horn glows, and the temperature immediately starts to normalize.
  245. >"I am so sorry, my little pony. I can assure you, I meant you no harm. I didn't even mean to do that, honestly. When you're so powerful, even a tiny, unconscious loss of control can have unpleasant consequences."
  246. >She slowly trots over to the mare, gently caressing her with a hoof and raising her up.
  247. >"Are you alright?"
  248. >"I'm- I'm fine," Says the mare who is definitely not fine.
  249. >Gently hugging her with a wing for a brief moment, Celestia retreats.
  250. >"Once again, I am so sorry. Sergeant, please continue. So, what was your plan after the three failures? To get proof... At the cost of your careers?"
  251. >You nod.
  252. "If it came to it, yes. Quite frankly, by that point, we were sick to death of the constant mocking by the ones who were clearly taking bribes. The chief commissioner kept repeating that moronic "chasing ghosts" bit, like she was a brain-damaged cuckoo clock or something, and others started parroting her, like it was the cleverest joke in the world. We weren't going to just quit or keep taking it lying down or something, oh no. No, we decided to go big. We figured, even if we found absolutely nothing, even if we got nothing but an empty building.... If we made enough noise anyway and got enough attention drawn to the case, then maybe - hopefully - we could expose the corruption."
  253. >"Ah. I see. Such a plan would have taken months, if not years, of media circus, investigations, allegations, and so on."
  254. >You shrug, looking over your ponies.
  255. "My squad and I were ready to take the fall, princess. If that's what it took for justice to get served, we were ready. Fortunately, we managed to snag *some* proof."
  256. >They look back at you proudly, puffing out their chests.
  257. >Princess Celestia looks them over with a smile, her guard escort seemingly glancing at them with a modicum of respect as well.
  258. >"That is very brave of you. I am happy to hear that I have ponies of such integrity working in my city... Just as much as I am disappointed to hear that I have such conniving and corrupt ponies at the top, apparently."
  259. >She turns her head in the other direction, looking at the bed.
  260. >"And the proof is indeed... Convincing, sergeant. Our anonymous visitor really is something. Tell me, what would the next step of your plan be, if I hadn't shown up?"
  261. >You gaze at the ceiling as you think.
  262. "Cause a scene. Guard him, and refuse to leave. I'm fairly certain that I will have someone marching up here with a squad to relieve me and take custody of him soon... Even though I haven't even filed a report about this yet. Hay, I'm on my day off, technically. We all are."
  263. >"Hmmmm...."
  264. >The princess hums, lighting up her horn and making her eyes glow.
  265. >You watch the strange spectacle, glancing at Breaker and Warder. They just shrug, clearly as clueless as you are.
  266. >With her glowing eyes, she starts to look around and squint, like she's looking off into the distance.
  267. >Is that what she's doing? Looking through walls?
  268. >After a few minutes of this, she hums again.
  269. >"Interesting. I do see a squad of guards approaching the hospital, led by... The police commissioner."
  270. "What?! You're shitting me! No way!" You grin.
  271. >"Pardon me? I'm what?" Celestia smiles at you, her guards giving you flat looks.
  272. "Oh, um, pardon me, Your Highness, I was just... Overcome by incredulity."
  273. >"Yes, my little pony? Why is that?"
  274. "Well, uh... I'm pretty sure she's the one at the center of it all. Moreover, this is not how this works. I'd expect the major of the precinct to show up, if that. More likely a captain. Basically, she skipped the entire chain of command, when, once again, *I haven't even made a report yet*, so it didn't have a chance to make its way up the chain of command to begin with. And yet, she shows up in person! When trotting around in the street with guards isn't even what she's supposed to do at all! You can see how suspicious this is, right?"
  275. >The princess hums, smiling at your giddy expression.
  276. >"This does seem fairly incriminating, yes. It would appear that she's getting direct reports about hits on those brothels from... Somewhere. Very well, sergeant. Let us play the game."
  277. >You blink.
  278. "The game, princess?"
  279. >Ignoring you, she turns towards her stallions.
  280. >"I am hereby putting you under the command of Sergeant Strict Standard. Help her in every reasonable way you can, although your highest priority is keeping any harm from coming to the witness."
  281. >Your eyes go wide. Did you just get assigned the princess's personal stallions?! You, a City Guard sergeant, commanding stallions from the Royal Guard?!
  282. >"I am going to return to the palace now, and call for reinforcements and a guard rotation to relieve you, as well as rouse my agents, and start a great many investigations."
  283. >Turning to you, she smiles.
  284. >"As for you, sergeant... If she truly is as arrogant as you say - and it appears that she is, if she's coming in person rather than sending a disposable minion that she could shift the blame on if things went south - then try to get her to talk. From my experience, ponies like that love to brag. Rub your nose in it, as you described. Get her to divulge something incriminating... Or just make her as furious as possible. That's an option as well. Anger tends to make ponies careless."
  285. >Your eyes are as wide as saucers, several ponies in your squad staring at Celestia open-mouthed.
  286. >You just got permission from princess Celestia herself to make ol' Golden Hoof as pissed off as possible!
  287. >Is it your birthday?!
  288. >Nah, that's in a few months.
  289. >You salute so hard, you see a spark fly by your face as your sabaton scrapes along your helmet.
  290. "MA'AM, YES, MA'AM! With pleasure!"
  291. >"Good. Now, one more thing - I was never here. Not yet. If she catches wind of me, she will almost definitely be a lot more cautious. You four - stand there."
  292. >She ushers her guards into a corner, weaving a spell.
  293. >"Now, my illusions are not the best, buuut..."
  294. >Bit by bit, the golden-armored guards disappear, replaced by an illusion of a bed behind closed hospital blinds.
  295. >With a satisfied smile. she turns back to you.
  296. >"You may reveal their presence whenever you wish, if things start turning dangerous. As I said, though, try to act natural as long as you can. Now, I must go, but know this:"
  297. >She leans closer to you, her warm smile replaced by a dead stare.
  298. >"I will be watching you. *ALL* of you. I got pretty good at telling whether ponies are lying to me or not over the years, but it's not an absolute skill. I can still be fooled. And if I find out that the pretty story you told me was a fabrication, a misdirection of some sort - You. Will. Pay. I will not tolerate things like stallions kept as drugged-up sex toys in my city."
  299. "U-understood, Your Highness," You stammer.
  300. >"Good. Now then... Good luck, sergeant."
  301. >And with that, and a flash of light, she is gone.
  302. >You stretch out your neck, cracking it lightly.
  303. >Turning towards your confused squad that doesn't seem to know whether to feel elated or terrified by having the princess on their side, you nod.
  304. "Show time. Break, Ward, you're on door duty."
  305.  
  306. >The twins nod, trotting outside the room and taking up positions.
  307. >The next few minutes are tense, and you blink as the door opens, Swift Diagnosis trotting in.
  308. >Noticing the entire squad staring at her, she gives you a glare.
  309. >"Are you going to treat all of my staff this way?"
  310. "No, uh... I'm sorry, doctor. We were expecting someone else."
  311. >"Oh? Alright. And where did the princ- huh..."
  312. >She looks at the illusion with suspicion.
  313. >A Royal Guard pokes his muzzle through.
  314. >"Her Highness has left for the palace, via teleportation. We were ordered to remain here and provide discreet assistance to the sergeant."
  315. >"This is really that serious, huh," She mutters quietly, shaking her head a moment later and trotting over to the patient.
  316. "Sorry, doctor, but did you talk to her? Do you know how she got wind of this this fast?"
  317. >"Well, I told her, of course. Or, rather, I sent a messenger to the palace, informing them that an unknown creature was brought to the hospital, and asked if they were currently entertaining any ambassadors. We're supposed to inform them when it happens, but I don't really read the papers all that much, so I don't actually know who's visiting or not. They told me that they weren't, but the news clearly aroused the princesses' curiosity enough that she decided to come and see for herself."
  318. "I see. Thanks."
  319. >"My turn," She says as she magically scans the creature, examining his blunt claws with some curiosity. "Who were you expecting? And what are you expecting? An actual battle? Do remember that this is a hospital."
  320. "Well, it means we're in the right place if someone gets injured," You joke with a wry grin.
  321. >She just gives you a flat look.
  322. "Right, right. We're expecting the police commissioner. Princess Celestia herself saw him coming from some distance away... With the help of some magic."
  323. >"And that's a bad thing?'
  324. "Unfortunately, yes."
  325. >"I see. Well, try to keep any epic, dramatic throwdowns to a minimum, yes? Or try to take them outside."
  326. "Will do, doc."
  327. >She doesn't say anything else, setting up a saline drip and leaving.
  328. >A few minutes later, you hear the sounds of heavy hoofsteps and metal sabatons coming down the corridor.
  329. >Taking a deep breath, you turn towards where the Royal Guards are hidden.
  330. "Well... Showtime. This time for real. Gentlecolts? I don't know what's going to happen. I might end up leaving, or it could end in an actual fight. Whatever happens, though... Well, princess Celestia already told you. Protect our unconscious friend here. Other than that, watch and listen closely. What I really need the most is unbiased witnesses. You can bet there's going to be lots and lots of accusations flying back and forth very soon."
  331. >"Understood, ma'am."
  332. >The sounds rapidly approach the door, stopping right in front of it.
  333. >A moment later, a familiar, arrogant voice rings out.
  334. >"You two. Stand aside immediately. Where's your moronic, ghost-chasing sergeant? Inside, I assume?"
  335. >Mare, you hate that cunt.
  336. >"Hmmm... Nah," Breaker chuckles.
  337. >Or maybe it was Warder. It's hard to tell them apart purely by voice.
  338. >"What- what do you mean "nah", you autistic imbecile?! Stand aside, or you're fired!"
  339. >You frown, as does the rest of your squad.
  340. >That mare is such a bastard.
  341. >Obviously the twins are autists, focused on absolutely nothing but improving and destroying shields, respectively. Your squaddies call them shield autists all the time.
  342. >But that's no reason to be a nasty cunt about it!
  343. >"I'm on my day off. I'm not actually obliged to follow orders at the moment... Ma'am."
  344. >There's an incredulous snort.
  345. >"So you just decided to stand around in your gear for no reason? In that case, stand aside as a civilian. We're going inside on Guard business."
  346. >"Hmmm... Ehhh... May I ask why, ma'am?"
  347. >I just told you. Guard business. Now, final warning. Stand aside, or-"
  348. >You open the door, looking the bastard in the face.
  349. "Or what, Dry Canyon?"
  350. >"What did you just call me?!"
  351. >She tries to push ahead, but the unicorns stand firm, blocking the door.
  352. "You heard me. What the buck do you think you're doing here? I don't recall you being among the friends or relatives of our new buddy here."
  353. >"Rela- wha-"
  354. >She stares at you, completely stumped. You have a hard time not to bust out laughing at her expression.
  355. >"What are you implying here? That you're... Visiting an injured relative?"
  356. "A friend, actually. What brings you here?"
  357. >She stares at you for a moment longer, before furrowing her brows.
  358. >"Enough of this cowpat. I know who you have in there. Now, be a good filly, tell your goons to stand aside, and maybe I'll be satisfied with just a dishonorable discharge instead of throwing you in the slammer for the stunt you pulled."
  359. "Really? How do you know? Because even the doctors didn't know who, or what he is. Just how deeply are you involved with those brothels, hm?"
  360. >She snorts, grinning widely.
  361. >"Really, sergeant, more of your ghost chasing delusions? You truly are hopeless. How many years have I been telling you to drop that nonsense? Honestly, I tolerated you being a pain in my flank for far too long. It looks like you need to be let go, and find a job more suitable for yourself."
  362. "Oh, so there's nothing like a secret sex-trafficking ring that runs illegal brothels in Canterlot? Alright then, you can turn around and go home. After all, it's not like I saved a victim from one of them or anything and have him in this room. Just ghosts. So, why'd you show up here? Chasing ghosts, commissioner? Maybe you're getting daft in your old age. Perhaps its time to retire."
  363. >She blinks as she begins to understand the idiotic situation she put herself in.
  364. >She and her cronies kept insisting that you were a lunatic for years, jumping at shadows and seeing conspiracies where there were none.
  365. >But now, when you bust one and bust a victim out of there, she shows up in person, demanding to take custody.
  366. >"...You clearly just got lucky by complete coincidence, and by illegal means, I might add. That raid-"
  367. "What raid? My squad and I were just trotting along, smelling flowers, when we heard a cry for help. As good citizens, we couldn't help but investigate. Found a building. The door was unlocked, too."
  368. >She takes a deep breath, giving you a flat look.
  369. >"Your entire squad. All together. Marching in full gear. On a day off. Smelling flowers. And you just happened to... Come across... Whatever was it that you found. AND the door was unlocked."
  370. "Uh huh," You say, with a manure-eating grin.
  371. >Mare, after being fed cowpats for years, turning it around on her feels amazing.
  372. >"How drunk - or high - are you right now, if you really think I'm going to buy that?"
  373. "Well, I don't know, commissioner. Who's my accuser? Where are the witnesses? If we go to the building we found our friend in, what's it going to look like? Like all the other seemingly abandoned buildings, with no clear ownership? If that's the case, then who's going to charge me, if there's no owners nor victims of this supposed "raid" that I definitely never did? And if there are owners, well, I'd very much like to talk to them about how keeping exotic stallions in sex slavery is illegal."
  374. >Her expression goes blank, several of your squaddies failing to contain their sniggers.
  375. >Hearing their laughter, she refocuses again.
  376. >"There were... Bystanders and witnesses... And regardless whether there's victims or not, you can still be charged for violating procedure by the Guard," She manages to say, clearly making it up on the spot.
  377. "Really, were there? I don't remember seeing any bystanders. Gang, do you?"
  378. >Your squad shakes their heads.
  379. >"Negative."
  380. >"Nope."
  381. >"No, sarge."
  382. >"No, we were watching the exits and the streets. No ponies there at the time."
  383. "Awwww, looks like the cowpat you just pulled from your tailhole doesn't hold much weight," You coo at the mare, like you're talking to a foal.
  384. >That makes her eyes twitch, the mare grinding her teeth.
  385. >"Enough of this! I am your superior, and I will not be talked to that way! Now, final warning! Stand aside, or you're getting arrested. We are taking custody of this "victim". You are hereby relieved. March down to the precinct, and make your report. And if you have any allegations or suspicions, then we can work it out there and then. By the book, just how you like it, yeah? None of this idiotic "we were trotting along on our day off in full gear" nonsense."
  386. >That makes you grit your teeth.
  387. >She's not wrong in one regard. You really are a very "by the book" mare. Forcing yourself to blatantly ignore procedure and perform that raid took some serious willpower, soul-searching, and pure spite from all the manure you've been put through, and you still didn't feel too great about it. Going against your cutie mark never felt good. But, there was the letter of the law, and there was the spirit of the law. And the spirit of the law said...
  388. "No. Buck you. Order refused. You have no authority to give me that order."
  389. >"WHAT?! I AM THE CHIEF COMMISSIONER! I am literally the highest-ranked mare in your chain of command!"
  390. "And I am using the right to refuse illegal orders from mentally incompetent commanders."
  391. >She's fuming now, trying to push past Breaker and Warder again, her mares getting closer as well.
  392. >"YOU BUCKING PIECE OF- WE'RE NOT IN SOME BATTLE AND I'M NOT ORDERING YOU TO COMMIT WAR CRIMES! I'M TELLING YOU TO STAND ASIDE SO WE CAN TAKE OVER GUARDING THE WITNESS!" She screams, spittle flying at you.
  393. "Hmm, the same witness that you insisted was just a delusion for years and years? Persistently, constantly, over and over again? And now, I'm supposed to just hoof him over to someone as ludicrously incompetent as you? No, I don't think so."
  394. >The squad of six that she brought with her joins in pushing Breaker and Warder aside.
  395. >You nod at them, letting it happen.
  396. >Doesn't mean you're going to let them pile in the room, though.
  397. >You flick your tail at Brick, smiling internally as you feel the vibrations from the heavy stallion's hoofsteps through the floor.
  398. >Moments later, Just as Golden Hoof goes through the door and gets in your face, ready to scream again, she is stopped dead in her tracks as Brick puts a hoof on her chest, and pushes back.
  399. >The guards that were trying to squeeze past her are stopped dead in the tracks, and it results in a pileup.
  400. >You grin at Golden Hoof's expression as she turns her baleful gaze towards Brick.
  401. >"Outhouse. Of course," She drips venomously. "Reprimand after reprimand, over and over again. And now, this. I should have fired you years ago. But there I was, being soft on a stallion. Fool on me, then."
  402. >Your grin gets replaced by a frown.
  403. >Mare, she's such a cunt. Everyone knew Brick's name wasn't Outhouse.
  404. >First she calls the twins autistic, now this.
  405. >Sure, the brick-red stallion was built like a brick outhouse. And he had a cutie mark of what could potentially be interpreted as a brick outhouse. And his name on documents did say "Brick Outhouse", but that was clearly just a clerical error, every pony knew that!
  406. >And those that didn't know that, or, rather, insisted on calling him that on purpose to rile him up, often mysteriously found themselves with their heads shoved inside toilets. Which often ended up with him getting reprimands. Which wasn't fair at all! It wasn't his name, after all.
  407. >Seriously. His name was Brick. Just Brick.
  408.  
  409. >Meanwhile, Golden Hoof turns back as her squad of six, all unicorns, scramble back to their hooves.
  410. >"Alright, I had enough of this. Outhouse, and the rest of you! You're all hereby suspended for a month without pay. Your sergeant, though, is going to get a Tartarus lot worse, and you will join her, if you don't stand aside immediately. Mares, charge up your horns. If they don't stand down..."
  411. >She turns back to you with a smug expression, only to look shocked when she sees that you're not only not scared, you're smiling like a madmare.
  412. "Breaker, Warder, Thunder Spark, you heard her. Squad, get ready. Looks like she wants a scrap."
  413. >Your unicorns charge their horns as well, grinning confidently. Golden Hoof's team looks nervous, and with good reason. For all your reputation as a squad of troublemakers, everyone knew that Warder and Breaker could probably take on a dozen unicorns at a time alone, and there were eight ponies here to her six. Well, seven, but you didn't count the old fart. Hay, there were twelve, if you counted the Royal Guards.
  414. >"You're... You're serious," Golden Hoof stares at you in utter disbelief. "What the buck are you even trying to achieve here? Do you even know how many regulations and laws you're breaking right now?"
  415. >The mention of laws makes you grit your teeth again.
  416. >You're not going to let her play you, though.
  417. "Solar Flare option. Mutually assured destruction, you corrupt piece of trash. You thought that I was going to be a meek little coward who was going to go quietly because the rules said I have to do what you say? Nah, buck that. No, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."
  418. >Reaching under your armor, you procure a pair of hoofcuffs, shoving them in her face as the mare scrabbles backwards.
  419. "Golden Hoof, you are hereby under arrest on suspicion of abduction, rape, sex trafficking, money laundering, taking bribes-"
  420. >"You bucking psycho!" She shrieks, her squad forming a shield as she hides behind them. "What do you think is going to happen even if you arrest me?! The moment you bring me to the station, you're going to be the one clapped in irons, and I'll be let go immediately!"
  421. "Imagine the photos, though!" You laugh. "You, beaten, battered and broken, getting dragged across half of Canterlot by yours truly! Oh, the papers would go crazy! And if you thought it was a pain dealing with just my squad and me - well, imagine dealing with attention from half of Equestria, when I blow this thing wide open! So I say, let's bucking go! After all, if you're right and I'm wrong, then the investigations that will inevitably start from this will exonerate you completely and I'll get jailed for years and years, right?! So come on, Goldie, stick your hooves out, and let's go to the precinct! Should be fun for everyone involved, yes? You'll get me punished, you'll trot free, the works!"
  422. >Her eyes dart back and forth, trying to think something up.
  423. >"You- I-"
  424. >You don't let up, cantering forward menacingly and out of the room, Breaker, Warder and Brick following along.
  425. >You glance at the illusion before exiting the room, quietly whispering to them.
  426. "One of you, follow behind me. The rest of you, stay here."
  427. >Taking a deep breath, you keep the pressure up.
  428. "Who told you about him?! Who are you working with?! Are you in charge, or just some clit-sucking patsy for some noble or whoever's running this, you gutter trash?!"
  429. >Getting called a patsy and gutter trash makes her seethe, though she keeps retreating backwards, her guards doing the same, their horns still charged.
  430. >"I'm not some goon to talk down to, you arrogant piece of manure! I'm-"
  431. >She manages to stop herself, and you smile.
  432. "Yes, go on? What are you? Where are you in the hierarchy of that operation?"
  433. >"I'm the chief commissioner! Yeah! That's what I was going to say!"
  434. >You and the unicorns actually bust out laughing at that part, even Brick letting out a guffaw.
  435. "Wow, mare, that was bad."
  436. >By this time, she's in full retreat and damage control mode, looking around for an exit.
  437. >"You- You're under arrest for threatening a superior officer! I'm going back to Central, and I'm bringing the entire precinct with me! Last chance to surrender!"
  438. "Pass."
  439. >You do recall the doctor's request not to start a fight in the hospital, though.
  440. >While you're advancing and they're retreating, a bunch of doctors and nurses, as well as a few patients , poke their muzzles out from the surrounding rooms, their eyes going wide once they take in the scene.
  441. >Golden Hoof decides to forgo the lift, shuffling towards the stairs and galloping away while her squad covers her.
  442. "After them," You order. "Keep close, but don't start blasting while we're still inside."
  443. >"Yes, sarge!"
  444. >Your ponies are all fired up. They've been wanting to get a chance to punch Golden Hoof in the face almost as much as you.
  445. >Glancing backwards, you notice a single Royal Guard silently following along a small distance away, flying so that he wouldn't make noise, keenly observing what's happening.
  446. >You nod to him, pushing the door open and galloping down the stairs.
  447. >The unicorns actually start firing at you seeing that the stairs are empty and there's no witnesses (or so they think, that is), but Warder effortlessly deflects all their shots, while Breaker cuts through a few pitiful attempts at shields like they're not even there.
  448. >A minute or so later, you're out from the stairwell and chasing after Golden Hoof and her goons through the main lobby, patients and nurses jumping aside, while doctors glare or shout at you all angrily for the ruckus.
  449. >Fortunately, you don't have to run super fast, given that Golden Hoof isn't exactly a spring chicken any more, the old unicorn not quite keeping a good pace.
  450. >The panicked unicorns don't stop firing at you, and you just grin at their expressions as Warder's shield keeps absorbing every shot, with no sign of getting weaker.
  451. >If you were worried about not having enough witnesses before, now you'll have too many to know what to do. Half the hospital can see them shooting at you, while your squad is just deflecting it.
  452. >Hmm, might as well add to it.
  453. "STOP RUNNING AND SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST! RESISTING ARREST WILL BE ADDED TO THE REST OF YOUR CHARGES!"
  454. >"Buck you!"
  455. >Oh yeah. If she tries to spin a story of you being the criminal here - which she will definitely try - this is going to be real troublesome for her to explain. Innocent ponies aren't the ones running and resisting arrest, after all.
  456. >Once you're out the door, you take wing.
  457. "This is it, squad! Foal shoes are off! Take! Them! DOWN!!!"
  458. >Breaker immediately starts blasting, sending two mares flying one after the other,
  459. >Brick charges ahead, trying to flank them.
  460. >Warder conjures up a tiny shield right under Golden's hooves, making her trip up and lose her balance.
  461. >A few blasts hit you in the armor as you charge, but you take them with just a few pained grunts.
  462. >The unicorns are absolutely panicked by now, and their spells aren't very focused.
  463. >You slam into one, bringing her down to the ground. The others immediately start shooting at you at point blank range, but Warder protects you with another shield.
  464. >Brick plows through all three of the remaining ones, tossing them to the side like bowling pins.
  465. >Getting to her hooves, Golden Hoof looks around, trying to take stock of the situation, but Breaker doesn't let her.
  466. >A huge blast sends her flying, slamming into a building across the street, where she crumples, unconscious.
  467. >You glare at Breaker, her horn smoking.
  468. "You were supposed to detain her, not kill her."
  469. >"She'll live," She scoffs. "I know my strength, don't worry. You did say the foal shoes were off."
  470. "I did, but we're going to be under a lot of scrutiny. We needed to do this as perfectly as possible," You grumble, trotting over to Golden Hoof's body, rolling her over and examining her.
  471. >Unlike her squad, she's only wearing a dress uniform, so you're able to check her with no issues.
  472. >True to what Breaker said, she's still breathing, and it doesn't look like she's bleeding out, or has anything broken.
  473. >She'll have a heck of a bruise later, though.
  474. >Off to the side, Brick is hoofcuffing one of the unicorns, while Warder is conjuring magic bindings for the rest of them.
  475. >"What is going on here?!"
  476. >A commanding voice rings out across the street, and you see a glint of gold from the corner of your eye.
  477. >Looking in the direction, you see a squad of eight Royal Guards, eyeing the scene with suspicion.
  478. >It must be quite a sight, a bunch of City Guards detaining a group of other City Guards, as well as a high-ranking officer.
  479. >You guess that these must be the reinforcements Celestia promised to send to the guards she left in the hospital.
  480. >You stand up straight, snapping a salute.
  481. "Sir! We are apprehending criminals that were resisting arrest, sir!"
  482. >"Criminals."
  483. >His voice is full of suspicion, as are his eyes, as he trots closer.
  484. "Yes, sir. Ah, this might help, sir."
  485. >You look around for the guard that was following you, noticing him near the entrance of the hospital. You wave him over, the guard's expressions changing once they see him approach. They snap salutes as he lands in front of them.
  486. >"Lieutenant! We are under orders to reinforce your squad, sir!"
  487. >"At ease, sergeant. This mare is telling the truth, as strange as the situation may seem. She attempted to arrest these ponies, and they actively resisted."
  488. >"And, uh... Was the arrest legitimate?"
  489. >The lieutenant nods, smiling ever so faintly.
  490. >"The circumstances are extremely irregular, to say the least, but I would say yes."
  491. >"That IS the chief commissioner, right, sir?"
  492. >"Indeed, which is why I think we need to step in here."
  493. >He turns to you, his expression formal.
  494. >"Sergeant, I realize that the Palace Guards rarely engage in arrests and we're not on Palace grounds right now, but, given the extremely unusual circumstances, as well as the high ranks of the ponies involved, I would like to take these ponies, as well as your squad, into custody, until we can figure out what's going on here. Princess Celestia needs to learn about this personally."
  495. >You nod, waving your ponies over.
  496. "I understand, lieutenant, and I submit to the authority of the Royal Guard. Quite frankly, I'm not sure what the procedure with arresting, detaining, interrogating, and all the other things in regards to such a high-ranking officer would be anyway."
  497. >He ponders a bit, clearly digging through his memories.
  498. >"Technically, they are citizens like everyone else, and would go through the standard procedures. But In cases of high corruption, Princess Celestia tends to step in personally and create SIU's, Special Investigative Units, picking out ponies from the Guard herself. They are not picked by rank - it could be anything from a complete rookie, to the highest ranks. They are chosen for integrity and strength of character, and, for the duration of the investigation, they're assigned ranks of Special Investigator, which allows them to detain and question just about everyone and anyone in Equestria, regardless of who they are."
  499. >You're guessing that's what she's doing right now, given the "I am going to start a great many investigations" line she told you before leaving.
  500. "Sounds perfect," You mutter. "I'm ready to go when you are, then."
  501. >"Very well. Sergeant, you're coming with me. Corporal, you and you three, accompany these ponies to the Palace. Actually, wait- Sergeant, I will send out the rest of your squad shortly. We will take over the guarding duties of the victim now," He turns to you, the Royal sergeant and three more guards saluting and following the lieutenant, while a corporal with his trio remains with you.
  502. "Yes, sir."
  503. >There's a few moments of silence as you glare at the bound unicorns, the battered unicorns glaring at you, the four Royal Guards still taking in the scene.
  504. >"...Could you give us a very quick rundown of what happened here, ma'am?" The corporal can't resist asking.
  505. "Sure. There's a secret stallion trafficking sex ring operating in Canterlot, and Golden Hoof here has her hooves in deep. Real deep. She was constantly interfering in any attempts to investigate them. And when I busted out one victim, and brought him here, she almost immediately showed up, trying to squirrel him away, even though I haven't even made a report to anyone yet. When I demanded to know how she found out about this so fast, she tried to deflect it, so I tried to arrest her for involvement. She resisted. We took her down."
  506. >"...I see."
  507. >While it's circumstantial evidence at best, the guards seem to take your side on the matter, joining in the glaring at the unicorns on the ground, their ears folding at the looks from the angry stallions.
  508. >A few minutes later, the rest of your squad leave the hospital.
  509. >You wave them over, the ponies whistling in appreciation at the sight.
  510. >"Mare, wish I could have been the one to do that," Stern Hoof sighs longingly, looking at the still-unconscious form of Golden Hoof.
  511. >The others mutter in agreement.
  512. >You shrug.
  513. "Sorry, girls, we need her in one piece and still able to talk. Anyway, we're going with these gentlecolts now. Now, for these..."
  514. >You turn towards the magically restrained unicorns.
  515. "I am turning you over to the Royal Guard. The jig is up, so I suggest you go quietly. If you try to run - well, even if they can't get you all for some reason, you better believe we'll help them take you down a second time. Am I clear?"
  516. >They remain silent, their lips pursed. Bending down lower, you glare at them.
  517. "Am. I-"
  518. >"Yes, ma'am," One of them mutters.
  519. "Good. Warder, release them."
  520. >Golden Hoof is hoisted on Brick's back, and you set off.
  521. >Technically, you're detained by the Royal Guard as well, but it's more like you and them are detaining Golden Hoof's squad together.
  522. >They march in the middle, your squad surrounding them, with the Royal guards taking up the four corners of the formation.
  523. >Halfway to the Palace, the journalists start arriving one by one, snapping photos and shouting questions at you.
  524. >You're tempted to say something, and in other circumstances, you would.
  525. >But now that you actually got Golden Hoof, you don't need to draw any more attention to yourself, and talking about things before the investigation is concluded could actually backfire for you. So, you remain quiet, your squad following suit.
  526. >Once you reach the gates to the palace grounds, they're forced to remain behind.
  527. >Guards gallop back and forth once they see what is happening, quickly debriefing the corporal mid-trot, carrying the news deeper into the palace.
  528. >By the time you reach the palace proper, another pair of guards is waiting for you, nodding at the corporal and wordlessly leading you in.
  529. >You're led down one of the many wide corridors, eventually ending up in a large room of some kind. Ballroom, perhaps?
  530. >Princess Celestia enters a few moments later, examining the procession with a critical eye.
  531. >"My goodness. This is quite a troubling sight. Corporal, report."
  532. >As he's debriefing her, Golden Hoof lets out a long groan, rubbing her forehead.
  533. >Brick (mostly) carefully slides her off his back, on to the fancy royal carpet of the castle.
  534. >Grunting, the mare slowly manages to rise, her eyes still a little wobbly.
  535. >She blearily looks around, her eyes soon landing on the most noticeable pony in the room - Celestia.
  536. >"Y-your Highness...?"
  537. >Nodding to the corporal as he finishes talking, she trots over.
  538. >"You are accused of some rather serious crimes, my little pony."
  539. >"L-lies and slander!" Golden Hoof manages to gasp out, finding you and pointing at you with a foreleg. "That maniac over there is an uncontrollable, reckless-"
  540. >"Quiet," Celestia commands, the mare shutting up. "I'm afraid that this situation is far too serious for a round of "she said, he said". I am launching a full-blown Special Investigation into this. You're all going to be quests of the palace, and confined to your quarters, until we figure out what's what. Now - "
  541. >She turns to the guards.
  542. >"Bring this mare to the infirmary first, and check her thoroughly for any lasting injuries. The rest of them can go to their quarters. Unless..."
  543. >She hums thoughtfully while giving Golden Hoof a narrow-eyed look, making the mare shrink down. After a moment, her eyes land on you.
  544. >"Would either one of you like to confess anything, my little ponies, and save us the trouble? The investigations may take a long time, but believe me, over the years, they have not failed me yet. Lying will only make things worse."
  545. >Golden Hoof gasps like a fish for a moment, shutting up without saying anything. You, meanwhile, take off your helmet, laying it at your hooves and bowing to the princess.
  546. "I have nothing to hide, and I have told no lies. My oath to Equestria remains true and unbroken, and I willingly submit to the investigation, and I will answer any and all questions you, or anyone else, may have for me."
  547. >Your squad follows suit, taking off their helmets and bowing.
  548. >Golden Hoof's squad remains frozen, and it's not hard to see which side the Royal Guards approve of more.
  549. >Celestia nods.
  550. >"Very well. I suppose this might be for the best, anyway. Sometimes, when ponies confess, they only confess to minor transgressions, trying to hide the bigger ones. With luck and time, the investigation should uncover every bit of it. Guards? Take them away."
  551. >The guards nod, getting closer.
  552. >"Disarm and disrobe the rest of the way, please."
  553. >You comply, taking off the rest of your armor. A unicorn scans you all one by one for hidden weapons and artifacts, nodding when you pass.
  554. >Golden Hoof is allowed to keep her uniform, since it's just clothes.
  555. >You are led out of the room, down the stairs and into an underground section of some kind.
  556. >Interesting. From what you knew, Canterlot Palace didn't have dungeons... Officially.
  557. >Judging by the different style of masonry, you guess that it's some kind of old part of the palace that simply got built over.
  558. >The room that you are led to was probably some kind of servant's quarters, your suspicions given more weight when you notice an outline of a window, now completely bricked and sealed up.
  559. >There's even a small bathroom with a sink, though there's no shower.
  560. >The bed is just planks, with some ancient-looking straw on top. You wonder if they'll bring you something nicer.
  561. >They do leave a glowing crystal for a lamp for you, since there's no natural light there whatsoever.
  562. >The guards that led you there exit the room, turning towards you before closing the door.
  563. >"Food and drink will be brought to you. Don't try to escape. You're underground, and there's only one exit. If you do, you will find that we do have actual holding cells, with iron bars, bare stone floors, and no plumbing. Someone will come by to question you soon."
  564. >You wave them off.
  565. "No worries, gentlecolts. I'm not the bad girl in this story. Go on. I'll be fine."
  566. >"Very well, ma'am."
  567. >They close the door, leaving you in near darkness. The crystal's glow is steady, but pretty weak.
  568. >A moment later, though, you're blinded by a flash of light.
  569. "Gah!"
  570. >Blinking the spots out of your eyes, you see the unmistakable figure of princess Celestia in front of you.
  571. >"You work fast, sergeant. Faster than I expected. I was hoping I'd have more time to prepare," She launches into it without any preamble.
  572. "I- I'm sorry, princess. Things were happening far, far faster than I was expecting," You reply, fighting down the urge to salute and stand at attention.
  573. >"May I ask what happened to make you act so rashly?"
  574. "During our conversation with Golden Hoof, I managed to find out that she did not even bother setting up a false trail of reports, or anything of the sort that would give her cover for actually being at the hospital. She didn't exactly say it outright, but I am completely, totally certain that she did not. She was clearly pulling the lamest, weakest excuses in regards to how she came about the information. After seeing that I wasn't going to back down, she tried to flee, and I decided to act, instead of letting her run off and start doing exactly that."
  575. >"And you're certain of this?"
  576. "I'm literally betting my career and my future on this, princess. So yes."
  577. >"I see. So you were forced to strike while the iron was hot. Suppose I shall have to do the same, then. Very well. Thank you, sergeant. Are you well? Do you need anything to be taken care of, what with the rush, and all?"
  578. "Hm? Well, I don't have pets to feed or anything like that. The bed could be a little fresher, though," You smirk slightly, nodding at the hay-shaped dust.
  579. >"Oh? Let me freshen it up, then," She nods with a smile, her horn glowing.
  580. >There's a flash of light, and...
  581. >There's a new pile of straw on the bed. Brand new, fresh, crispy, but still straw.
  582. >The princess is gone as well.
  583. "...Ha ha."
  584. >You were hoping for something a little more modern. A pillow and a blanket, maybe,
  585. >You never believed the rumors of Celestia being some kind of joker, but it seems that they're at least partially true.
  586. >Shaking your head with a grin, you tap the hay down a little before lying down for a nap.
  587.  
  588. ****
  589.  
  590. >"Ma'am?"
  591. >You blink blearily, stretching out on the hay.
  592. >You didn't even notice falling asleep. It's been a stressful and busy day, though.
  593. >Rubbing your eyes, you get out of bed, eyeing the Royal guards by the door.
  594. "Yes, sir?"
  595. >"The Special Investigator requires your presence, ma'am."
  596. "Lead the way," You nod, brushing a few stalks of hay from your mane.
  597. >They nod, forming up behind and in front of you.
  598. >You are led upstairs again, towards a nondescript door.
  599. >Some distance away, you notice another pair of guards leading Winter Gale in the same way towards another door.
  600. >You enter the room, the guards taking up positions by the door as you trot forward.
  601. >It's not quite a fancy interrogation room with one-side mirrors and all that jazz, but it's pretty clear that that's the room's current purpose.
  602. >There's a desk with two ponies behind it, a guard - or an interrogator, rather, or maybe the Investigator - and a scribe.
  603. >And a chair for you.
  604. >As you take your seat, you notice that the guard's rank insignia has been replaced by a symbol of the Sun with two circles inside, a black surrounded by an amethyst one, making it look like an eyeball. Celestia's eyeball, to be precise.
  605. >The message was pretty clear. Celestia's sunny gaze was upon you. But you had nothing to be afraid of.
  606. >The guard nods at you as the scribe wets her quill.
  607. >"Confirm your name and identity for the record, please."
  608. "Sergeant Strict Standard of the Canterlot City Guard, currently assigned to the central precinct, sir."
  609. >"Very well. I am Special Investigator Straight Shot. Now, sergeant, what led you to arrest your superior officer on such an impressive list of charges?"
  610. "Well..."
  611. >With that, the grilling begins.
  612. >It doesn't take long for his questions to lead you to the very beginning.
  613. >He asks for every detail, every thing you did, every word you said, every action you took, every pony you talked to, reports, cases, and so on.
  614. >You're fully aware that the exact same thing is happening with every single pony in your squad as well, if they have enough investigators to question them all at once.
  615. >Everything is going to be analyzed, collated, compared, and examined for any holes or inconsistencies.
  616. >You share everything freely, happy to be able to finally unburden yourself.
  617. >When you're about two thirds in, though, the door suddenly opens, the interrogator scowling angrily.
  618. >"What- Oh. Chief investigator."
  619. >"Apologies, se- I mean, investigator, this will only take a moment. Sergeant Strict?"
  620. "Yes, sir?"
  621. >"Where, exactly, is this illegal brothel that you raided earlier today?"
  622. >Oh, huh. Did you never mention the actual address?
  623. "Star View street seventy-one, sir."
  624. >"Thank you. Carry on, investigator," He nods, closing the door.
  625. >There's a brief pause before you cough, restarting your story.
  626. "So yes, I wasn't actually involved in the third time the brothel was found..."
  627. >It takes a long time until you're actually done, and your eyes are a bit tired.
  628. >Hours, at least. And it was already late evening when you started, so you assume it's well past midnight by that point.
  629. >The investigator reads over the report, trying to find more questions to ask as you sit quietly.
  630. >Eventually, he nods.
  631. >"Very well, ma'am, I believe we are done for the day. This is quite the story, I must say. One for the crime novels for sure. However, given the gravity of the situation and the accusations both by you and against you..."
  632. >You blink blearily.
  633. "Yes?"
  634. >"Would you consent to a memory search?"
  635. "...Huh. Hm. Give me a second."
  636. >You think it over.
  637. >Memory spells of all kinds have been around for millennia now.
  638. >Not too surprising, since there have been secrets that ponies wanted to keep as long as there were ponies. And then, there were ponies that wanted to know other's secrets.
  639. >Interrogating was one option, but then, unicorns got the bright idea: Why not just magically rip pony's memories out of their heads, like pages from a book?
  640. >Yeah.
  641. >Naturally, more refined and less brutish versions were thought up over the years, with many uses. Some of them were even exclusively used on the casters themselves.
  642. >You didn't much care about having a horn, but the "remember what the buck I was just thinking five minutes ago and completely forgot" spell, or "remember where the hay I left my keys to the wizard tower" one sounded pretty damn useful sometimes.
  643. >Forcefully reading or otherwise tampering with a pony's memory was highly illegal, but then, if consent was given...
  644. >Well, a memory spell could easily make or break a case in court.
  645. >The public were largely leery of having unicorns dig around in their heads for the smaller things, but big cases with big stakes like this were exactly where memory searches came in.
  646. "Hmm, well. I'm not opposed to it, but all I know about them is surface stuff. They are safe, right? No side effects? Memory loss?"
  647. >"Why don't I let the expert answer that one?"
  648. "Sure, I guess?"
  649. >"Very good. Come with me, please."
  650. >He leads you out of the room, the guards that led you there following behind you.
  651. >It's a bit of a trot, but he eventually leads you to another unmarked door, this one seemingly fairly heavily reinforced.
  652. >It is also guarded, two guards examining the "investigator" insignia before letting him open the door.
  653. >Once you enter, you let out a low whistle.
  654. >It's a full on crime lab, with a whole lot of arcane doohickeys and machines that you haven't even seen in the precinct before.
  655. "I didn't know the Royal Guard did so much detective work that they'd need something like this."
  656. >"You'd be right. The vast majority of this stuff is actually esoteric magical stuff that the princess uses to teach her students, but some things can double up for guard work as well, like sample readers and collectors, dating machines, and so on. Through here, please."
  657. >He leads you past various benches and apparatuses towards the middle where there's a circle of sofas set up, with a coffee table in the middle.
  658. >There's a bored mare sitting there, staring at the ceiling.
  659. >She's wearing some kind of cloak, one that you can't quite entirely put your hoof on. It could be a wizard's cloak, an official uniform, or maybe just a fashion statement.
  660. >"Bucking finally," She mutters when she sees you approach. "Shot, you told me to wait here until you came to get me. Do you bucking know what time it is?! I've been sitting here for... I forgot how long!"
  661. >"Bit odd, considering memories are your forte. Sergeant, this is Clean Slate, a psychiatrist and arcanist specializing in memory magic. Clean Slate, this is sergeant Strict Standard, one of the ponies currently under investigation."
  662. >"Charmed," She says dryly. "So, do I get to do anything tonight or not?"
  663. >"The sergeant here wanted reassurance that the magic would have no repercussions."
  664. >"No." The doctor says simply. "To elaborate: No, there won't be. Memory magic is not the overblown, mind-rending, torturous manure you read about in the comic books. It had centuries of civilized research bent towards benign applications. The only chance it would happen is if you actively resisted, and even then, the odds of actual damage are minuscule. Far from every unicorn can do it, but those who are licensed practitioners can do it entirely safely."
  665. >You nod slowly as she explains.
  666. "Yeah... Yeah, okay. I'll do it."
  667. >"Very good, so I won't have waited for nothing. Let's go," She sighs, getting up.
  668. >"You're paid by the hour anyway, regardless of what you do," Straight Shot points out.
  669. >"Hm. Still bored, but that does make me feel better," She grins.
  670. >She doesn't go far, leading you to a contraption made of two chairs, some kind of crystal-studded and rune engraved metal helmet on a stand, and a crystal ball on a thin, tall table in between them.
  671. >"Voila! The memory recorder. A unicorn can examine a pony's memory all they want, but so what? Then, all the ponies have is *their* word that they're not lying. With this, we'll record your memory into that crystal ball, and anyone can look at it all they want."
  672. >Clearing her throat, she turns to you, her voice turning monotone as she begins rattling out some kind of warning.
  673. >"I am hereby legally informing you that the use of the MemoryMemorandum™ will create a non-replicable, viewable, non-licensable record of a limited snippet of your memories. By using the MemoryMemorandum™, you agree to the creation of said recording, its public use in current and future legal investigations, public inquiries, demonstrations, etc. With the MemoryMemorandum's™ use, you agree to waive the right of privacy and anonymity of that specific recording of your memories in perpetuity, and you understand and agree that your memories may end up being viewed by an indeterminate amount of ponies."
  674. >You blink owlishly as you take a minute to parse through all the legalese.
  675. "I... Agree?"
  676. >She clops her hooves together.
  677. >"Great! Let's get started. Your chair is the one with the interface."
  678. >You assume it's the helmet thing.
  679. >Sitting down, you eye it, while she fiddles with the machine a little.
  680. "So, do I just stick my face in it?"
  681. >"Yes. Let me adjust it a bit for you."
  682. >Changing the height a little, she flicks some things with her magic, the crystals and everything else lighting up and starting to hum,
  683. >Slowly leaning in, you feel the cool touch of the metal, along with a faint buzz of magic.
  684. >"So, feeling alright? No nerves? Panic?"
  685. "Sure. For someone who wears a helmet half the time already, this is hardly anything new."
  686. >"Excellent. Now, investigator - what, exactly, are you looking for?"
  687. >"This morning's brothel raid that she led," He immediately says. "The prep isn't important, go from the second they bust through the door."
  688. >"Hear that, sergeant?"
  689. "Yeah. Do I just... Focus on it?"
  690. >"Yes, but hold on just a second. I will help you. I am going to start casting mental spells on you now. Please do not resist."
  691. "Okay..."
  692. >You don't actually know how to resist mental spells, nor how to NOT resist them,
  693. >A moment later, you hear the sparkly sound of magic, and there's something like a tickle, or a the sensation of running water on your forehead.
  694. >You force yourself to remain still, but you can't help but scrunch your muzzle reflexively.
  695. >"Easy, easy," Clean Slate says soothingly. "I'm just barely touching you now. May I continue?"
  696. "...Go for it."
  697. >The magic sinks deeper inside you, and your mind suddenly starts... Shifting.
  698. >Idle memories suddenly shift into sharp focus, becoming as clear as if you're standing there again.
  699. >"Memory focus spell," Clean Slate explains. "Often abused by students when they're trying to remember study sessions that they were either too drunk, or too half-asleep to remember. Now, sergeant. Close your eyes, and focus on the memory. Don't just remember it - relive it. Place yourself at the spot in time that the investigator described, and go through it, step by step, second by second. I will record it. If you need to, talk about it. It helps you keep pace and not rush through your memories too fast."
  700. >With how memory works, the act would be quite hard, but with the spell, it's shockingly easy.
  701. >You even remember the feelings and emotions, grinning fiercely without even noticing as you pile through the door that Brick smashed open.
  702. "The door was warded, but it was no match for the Breaker Brick combo..."
  703.  
  704. *********
  705.  
  706. "And we brought him outside-"
  707. >"That's enough, then," The investigator says.
  708. >The tingle of foreign magic in your head begins to fade, disappearing entirely a moment later.
  709. "Can I disengage now?"
  710. >"Yes, it's safe," Clean Slate confirms,
  711. >You pull your head out of the contraption, blinking blearily as your eyes readjust to the light.
  712. >Taking a few moments to readjust, you stretch your limbs, eventually leaning sideways to take a look at the others, who remain oddly quiet the entire time.
  713. >You see your memory play out in the crystal ball again, specifically the dash through the second floor.
  714. >Straight Shot is muttering something, the other guards staring intently as well.
  715. >"Three, four, five... I count... Eight rooms in total?"
  716. >"Looks like it, sir," The other guards nod in agreement.
  717. >"Sergeant. Not a trace of other stallions in those rooms remained, right?" He asks, turning to you.
  718. "Traces, yes. We could smell the sex smells wafting from all of them. No stallions, though."
  719. >He curses under his breath.
  720. >"That was one smooth operation, Celestia damn it. I hate to admit it, but I am impressed. Those bastards were good. Oh, you too, sergeant. That was an outstanding performance, you and your squad. Fine, damn, DAMN fine work. With skills like that, you could make it into Royal Guard, you know."
  721. >You shrug, though the compliment does make you feel a bit warm inside.
  722. "Eh, well, ponies think we're similar, but our roles are a bit too different for me. I like keeping order and chasing down criminals. You guys mostly stand around to protect the princess, and when was the last time someone even tried to attack her? I think I'd go a bit too stir crazy without any action for too long."
  723. >"Hmm, fair. Well, either way, the lead investigator will want to take a look at this, no doubt."
  724. "That's the one that asked for the brothel's location, right? Was it cleared out already when he got there?"
  725. >"I'm not at liberty to tell," He replies mechanically. "Sorry."
  726. "Oh right, I keep forgetting I'm not exactly working with you guys, I'm still a suspect," You snort. "And my brain's halfway to shutting down. What time is it?"
  727. >"Well past midnight. I'm clocking out," Clean Slate groans, getting up and unceremoniously trotting away.
  728. >"Well, with this, you won't be a suspect for long," Straight Shot nods at the crystal ball. "However, you're right, we do need to get some sleep. Escort her back to her quarters, please," He nods to the guards.
  729. >"Yes, sir."
  730. >You trot forward mechanically, your body on autopilot from all the patrols you did through your life.
  731. >When you reach your room, the straw looks like a royal four-poster bed, and you pass out instantly.
  732.  
  733. ******
  734.  
  735. >Once you wake up, you notice not one, but two trays of food on the table.
  736. >Rubbing the crud from your eyes, you blink at them before it clicks.
  737. >One of them must be yesterday's dinner that someone brought you, but you spent so long in interrogation, you fell asleep without even noticing it.
  738. >Something which your stomach reminds you of with a furious growl.
  739. >Getting up and taking a leak, you gargle your mouth with the slightly odd tasting water from the sink, wishing you had a toothbrush.
  740. >Oh well. Food!
  741. >You shovel the yesterday's pasta dish first, it tasting great even cold.
  742. >Looks like the royal kitchen refuses to serve slop for any reason, even to prisoners.
  743. >Next, you polish off the eggs with the haybacon.
  744. >Letting out a huge belch, you longingly sigh for a cup of coffee, but that's one luxury that they didn't provide you. Just plain old water.
  745. >As if summoned by your thoughts, the door opens, and you reflexively flare your nostrils, only to smell the two stallions, and no coffee.
  746. >A brief thought of two studly stallions "waking you up" flashes through your head, before you brutally strangle it.
  747. >Not the time.
  748. >"Ma'am? Are you lucid?"
  749. "...Yes? I don't know what time it is, but I'm awake enough."
  750. >"We all had a long night yesterday," The guard nods. "But there's still work to do. One of the investigators requires your presence."
  751. "Well, I just finished the food, so I'm ready. Lead the way."
  752. >"Very good, ma'am."
  753. >It's hard to tell with their impressively stoic demeanors, but the guards seem to be a little friendlier towards you today.
  754. >You're led to another nondescript office with a mostly nondescript stallion, though it's not Straight Shot this time.
  755. >The large pegasus is reading through a file, a bunch of papers and folders on his desk.
  756. >"Sergeant Strict Standard as ordered, sir," One of the guards reports, saluting.
  757. >He nods, his eyes still on the papers.
  758. >"Good work, private. At ease. Now, sergeant. Help me out here."
  759. "Yes, sir?"
  760. >"I am reading through the transcript here, and you claimed- here it is. You conscripted one Sharp Gaze, a detective, to document the illegal brothel before you and your squad left?"
  761. "Yes, sir. We discussed multiple options beforehoof, ones that depended on the outcome of the raid, including leaving a few ponies to guard the building to prevent the destruction of evidence once again. However, I deemed protecting the witness- the victim-"
  762. >"Princess Celestia has decided to name him "Anonymous" for now."
  763. "Thank you, sir. I deemed protecting Anonymous to be the highest priority, especially considering what we experienced inside that place. I left Sharp Gaze to do her thing. She's quite a capable mare, and I'm certain she got away without getting caught."
  764. >He hisses.
  765. >"Yesss, I saw your memory recording, so the priority assessment was correct... Anyway, you claimed that she "went to ground" someplace "with no official address", is that right? If we wish to acquire the evidence for this investigation, how are we to find her?"
  766. >Oh filly.
  767. >You swore up and down that you wouldn't tell anyone about her secret "mare cave"...
  768. >But Sharp Gaze should understand, right?
  769. >These are special circumstances.
  770. "Well, ah... She maintains this... Private laboratory/work room of sorts, sir, one that's hidden from plain sight. But, do you even need the photos? As you said, you have my memory record, where you can see everything plain as day."
  771. >He shakes his head.
  772. >"It is very good, yes, but you only examined each room very briefly before disengaging and evacuating Anonymous, sergeant. An experienced detective could have found a treasure trove of extra details, and even if she didn't, it never hurts to be doubly sure with these things. We're the SIU. Celestia's personally picked ponies, for a grave reason. We do NOT do things half-way."
  773. >You nod, not arguing any further.
  774. "I understand, sir. I can lead you to her."
  775. >He raises his eyebrows.
  776. >"Really, you can't just tell us?"
  777. >You chuckle nervously.
  778. "It's really well hidden, I swear. I promise I'm not going to run, sir."
  779. >"Well, I'm not too worried about that, actually... We checked your claims up and down, and it looks like you're mostly in the clear... Very well. Private Hoof, private Trample, escort the sergeant to her destination, and bring back the detective."
  780. >"Sir, yes, sir!"
  781. >They salute to the investigator, nodding to you afterwards.
  782. >"Lead the way, ma'am."
  783. "Alright, it's a bit of a trot, but it shouldn't take too long."
  784. >You leave the office and go outside, taking a moment to look around and figure out which way the exit is.
  785. >It doesn't really work, and one of the stallions coughs politely after a minute.
  786. >"The main entrance is that way, ma'am."
  787. "Thank you, private."
  788. >As you're going, you notice a curious sight, and hear a familiar voice.
  789. >With a grin, you pick up the pace slightly, catching up to a large train of Royal guards.
  790. >There's ten.. Twenty... Thirty two?! Four full squads...
  791. >And they're all accompanying Golden Hoof, who's trotting near the front, surrounded by guards on all sides.
  792. >"Really, isn't this excessive? I don't need an escort, just let me go and round those ponies up, it won't take an hour-"
  793. >"No need, ma'am. Her Highness has asked us to perform this investigation as fast as equinely possible, so we're not wasting a single minute. Just give us the reports, point those ponies out to us, and we'll get to work immediately," The officer in charge responds.
  794. >You barely suppress your laughter at the situation.
  795. >The reason for this whole thing is obvious - instead of giving Golden Hoof a single second to tell whatever city guards are on her personal payroll to make up some manure and take the fall for her, they'll just get snatched by the royals immediately. And, you imagine they'll get asked the same questions, and then, the next ponies down the line will get snatched and taken away for questioning as well.
  796. >And if their stories don't match...
  797. >Well, you have this feeling that they're going to do far, far worse than you and your squad did in their interrogations.
  798. >Not that you actually know how they did, but you have full faith in your mares.
  799. >And stallion. Can't forget Brick. Don't want to hurt the big lug's feelings. Even if he wouldn't give you a swirly, you do genuinely like the guy. Never complains, smashes everything you ask him to smash without question and great enthusiasm. Not much for leadership or initiative, but great to have with you.
  800. >As tempted as you are to call out to Golden Hoof or otherwise draw attention to yourself, you know that making a scene now would only lead to bad things for you.
  801. >Things are far too serious for bucking around, so you just quietly follow behind the procession of guards as they exit the palace, idly flaring your nostrils a bit wider to enjoy the scent of over thirty buff stallions wafting towards you.
  802. >Though you don't feel like joining them, it doesn't mean you can't take a moment to appreciate them, and their impressive performance.
  803. >Mmmm.
  804. >Keeping your head straight, though, you immediately turn right as you clear the palace walls, Golden Hoof's escort leading her to the central precinct, while you go to Sharp Gaze's mare cave.
  805.  
  806. >After only a few minutes, though, you get an urge as a breeze ruffles your feathers.
  807. >Turning to your guards, you clear your throat. Fortunately for you, both of them are pegasi.
  808. "Mind if we fly, gentlecolts? I've been mostly locked up underground for a day now, and I'd like to stretch my wings. It'll be faster, too."
  809. >They look at each other for a few moments, communicating silently.
  810. >"I'll allow it... But we're going to be keeping a tight formation," One of them says slowly.
  811. "Works for me," You nod.
  812. >You spread your wings, rising demonstratively slowly off the ground.
  813. >They fly alongside you, and you turn towards the section of the city where your goal is.
  814. >The flight is uneventful, but pleasant, your wings a tiny bit cramped from disuse.
  815. >Eventually, you reach your destination, a somewhat run-down alley in the southern rim of the city.
  816. >Not that it's wrecked or full of trash. In Canterlot, a run-down alley meant something like "tastefully overgrown with vines, the marble's not so shiny that is sparkles, and the cobblestones are mossy".
  817. >There's a building to one side, and a low wall sealing off a private garden to the other.
  818. >You trot alongside the wall, looking for the spot.
  819. >There's a place where the wall merges with the back of a small building, and...
  820. >There you go.
  821. >You nod as you brush some vines away, revealing the faint outline of a door.
  822. >The guards blink in surprise at the sight.
  823. >"Ma'am, what is this? Did someone actually carve a door into the marble? That must have taken quite some effort... How do you even open something like that?"
  824. >You chuckle as you shake your head.
  825. "No, it's a trick. See, there was this wooden door here, centuries old, some kind of servant's entrance to a tool shed from back when this was some noble's estate, or something like that. Well, my detective friend rented out the building, and then glued a whole bunch of ceramic marble-imitation tiles on it. No illusions, no magic that you can detect, and the vines hide the outline. Now, just let me knock..."
  826. >The guards tense up as you carefully rap the door, so as not to smash the tiles.
  827. >You give them a look, hoping Sharp Gaze isn't going to do anything stupid.
  828. >On one hoof, the investigator said that you're almost in the clear by now. On the other one, this definitely looks like some kind of comic book villain hideout nonsense, so it makes sense they'd be suspicious.
  829. >There's some clicking and clacking from the inside as the mare of the hour disengages the locks, the door swinging open noiselessly on well-oiled hinges.
  830. >Sharp Gaze pokes her muzzle out, taking in the scene.
  831. >Before the guards can do their official proclamations, you speak up.
  832. "Hey, Sharp. Sorry about this, but-"
  833. >"Yup. I'm read to go," She nods, hefting a set of stuffed saddlebags on her back.
  834. >All three of you blink in surprise.
  835. "I didn't even tell you what's happening yet. Nor did the guards ask you to come with them."
  836. >She rolls her eyes.
  837. >"Come on, Strict, it doesn't take a detective to add two and two together. A foal could do it, with all the information available. You had your throwdown with Golden - it's all over the newspapers now, by the way - Celestia herself got involved due to how highly placed Golden Hoof is, called a SIU, and now, the guards want the info that I managed to gather up, to add to their investigation. Yes?"
  838. "Yeah... Pretty much," You say, looking at the guards.
  839. >"Entirely correct, ma'am. You have everything you need?"
  840. >"Like I said, yes. Ready when you are."
  841. >"Then let's get going."
  842. >The guards can't help but crane their necks and look while Sharp Gaze turns around and locks the door, using her magic to manipulate it from the inside.
  843. >Not much is visible before she shuts the door, though you do catch a glimpse of at least two corkboards with loads of clippings and strings running from one pin to another. Classic detective stuff.
  844. >You're sure they'd like to poke around in there for their own curiosity if nothing else, but their orders were clear. They were only supposed to secure Sharp Gaze, not conduct any searches.
  845. >Adjusting her bulging saddlebags, she nods to the guards, the two stallions flanking you while you begin the trot back to the palace.
  846. "So, was everything alright? You didn't get jumped by their goons while you were sniffing around, did you?"
  847. >"I almost did," She shrugs. "Well, I did. Maybe. I'm not fully sure. These guys are pretty smooth."
  848. "What exactly happened?"
  849. >"I was collecting every bit of evidence that I could, and I spent a good couple hours at it, when I heard someone enter the building. I was in the sitting lounge at the time, and was more or less done anyway, so I figured it was best to cut and run. Not to mention, as I listened to the hoofsteps, it didn't sound like it was a pony that was unfamiliar with the building, so when a stallion's voice called out whether anyone was in the building, I stayed quiet."
  850. >Your eyebrows shoot up, and the guards can't help but turn their heads towards her as well.
  851. "Really, a stallion? You think one would work for an operation like that?"
  852. >She shrugs nonchalantly.
  853. >"You never dismiss suspects out of commonly-held suppositions and assumptions. That's not how that works."
  854. "Right..."
  855. >One of the guards clears his throat.
  856. >"Ma'am, if I may? Are you truly able to tell if someone is acting suspiciously just by the sound of their hooves?"
  857. >Sharp Gaze shrugs.
  858. >"Call it a mix of experience on both sides, and a bit of intuition. And by both sides, I mean that I worked undercover for a while. I don't have this typical "guard mare pretending to be someone else" look, and my cutie mark is pretty neutral, too. I used to tell ponies that my talent is spotting easy marks and security flaws. So yes, to me, it didn't sound like a random bystander that decided to take a look into a busted-open building. Too confident, didn't stop to look at the fancy lobby, strode right in."
  859. >"I see."
  860. "And did you slip away, or did he confront you?"
  861. >"His first target was the lounge, so yes, he did see me. Typical fancy Canterlot unicorn, long overcoat that concealed his features. Immediately confronted me with a "what are you doing here?" I retorted with the exact same thing, adding that this was a private venue, which knocked him off balance. He started sputtering that he was living next door, and wondered what the ruckus was about, But it didn't take long for him to "come to the conclusion" that I didn't look like I worked there, and started throwing questions and accusations that I was looting the place."
  862. "Did you have to take him down to get out?"
  863. >"Nah, I just pulled out my camera and started flashing him in the face, shouting that I was an undercover journalist and demanding to know what he heard and knew about the place. He panicked again, which allowed me to slip by him and get out while he was still getting his bearings. I didn't see anyone waiting outside, but just in case, I did my best to get rid of any tails that might have been following me. Been sitting back at my hideout ever since, tripwires and alarms all over the place."
  864. >You let out a low whistle.
  865. "Nice. Fortunately, it doesn't look like whoever was running the place has enough ponies to both clear it out and chase after you. Or maybe they just don't have actual hitmares under their employ. They do seem to prefer stealth over open confrontation."
  866. >She snorts.
  867. >"Well, no crap. Imagine some gang, no matter how powerful, attempt to intimidate the guards in Canterlot. Canterlot! Celestia's own city. She'd declare open war on them, just like she's doing it right now to Golden Hoof. Don't suppose you found out who's truly behind this yet?"
  868. >You shake your head.
  869. "Nope, nothing yet. I'm still under investigation myself, though they're telling me that should probably be over soon. They're still working over Golden Hoof and her cronies for now. You? Did you recognize that stallion at all?"
  870. >She shakes her head as well.
  871. >"No, and I doubt an actual high rank in their operation would com in person. Bet he dyed his coat and had illusions on him anyway. I did lift his coat and got a shot of his cutie mark as I was galloping by, so we'll see if that gets us anything."
  872. >You snigger, and she raises an eyebrow.
  873. >"What?"
  874. "Couldn't leave without making sure you got a REAL good close-up of that stallion's flank, eh?"
  875. >She rolls her eyes, though she does grin.
  876. >"But of course. Would have given it a good rub to see if the mark was painted on too, but I didn't have the time. Maybe a lick, you know, to dissolve the paint."
  877. >One of the guards snorts while the other one rolls his eyes with a barely perceptible smile, while Sharp Gaze coughs and looks away as you're reminded of your escorts.
  878. >Maybe best to keep the banter down for now, especially given the situation.
  879. >There's a lull in the conversation as you try to think up something to say.
  880. "...So everything alright otherwise? No issues with your herd?"
  881. >She chuckles, shaking her head.
  882. >"Nah. They were a little surprised when I told them I'll have to disappear for a few days again, since it's been years now from the last time I did undercover work, but they know that my work is not up for debate. As always, the colt did his "worried husband" routine, though I already know that he's going to be the first one to get glued to me when I return, demanding to know everything I'm allowed to say. You know that it's actually stallions that read the most crime novels, right? They act all worried about mares like me going out, but they can't get enough of the details."
  883. "Huh. Not sure if I ever heard that tidbit before."
  884. >You glance thoughtfully at the stallions escorting you. You wonder if the same applies to them.
  885. >Probably not, given how they tend to buck the trend in regards to stallions in most other ways.
  886. >You did hear that regular stallions didn't like herding with guardsmares much and had ridiculous worries every time they went out to work. Did that mean you could tide them over if you shared some of the more exciting bits from your day?
  887. >Goes completely the opposite way you would think it would, but that's stallions for you. They often say one thing and do the complete opposite.
  888. >This time, Sharp Gaze picks up the conversation.
  889. >"So, how many ponies does princess Celestia have working on this thing?"
  890. "Not sure... Still a suspect, so they don't tell me anything, not that I asked. Actual investigators with the badge - a dozen, maybe more? Thing is, these special investigators seem to have no limits to how many deputies, or outside contractors they can pull in. There was some mind mage that made a copy of my memories of the brothel raid, and the rest of the Royal Guard is subordinate to them as well, from what I saw."
  891. >"Oh yeah, the princess does not hold back on these things. Takes something big for her to form a SIU - there can be gaps as long as centuries between them - so when there's a need for one, it's go time, full throttle."
  892. "Looks like you know more about them than I do. I never even heard of them before."
  893. >"Well, it's related to detective work, so they're a bit of a campfire tale of sorts among us. Each and every one is an epic tale of detective-ing."
  894. >You hum as you remember something else you didn't know about.
  895. "Say, would you happen to know about teleportation amulets? Breaker mentioned them, but I never got the chance to ask her about them."
  896. >"I know some things, yes. You never heard about them either?"
  897. "Not really, which is odd. You'd think criminals would go head over hoof to get the ability to teleport around, unless it's obscenely expensive."
  898. >She shakes her head.
  899. >"And that's why you haven't heard about them. They're not nearly as good as you assume they are - they don't just give a pony the ability to teleport like a mage that actually knows how to do it."
  900. "Caveats, then. List them?"
  901. >"Basically, since the pony is not the one casting the spell, the coordinates have to be written into the enchantment, so an amulet can only bring you to ONE, pre-set place - you can't just blink around wherever with them. Can't go too far, either - there's a limit to range, depending how much power the unicorn that's enchanting it can cram into the crystal. And if you do go out of range, it will probably just fizzle, but there's also a chance of critical failure."
  902. "...As in, getting cut in half, or something?"
  903. >"Pretty much. The odds are very low, but not zero. The enchanter can't just bring you anywhere, either - they need to be familiar with the place they're setting the coordinates to."
  904. "So no jumping into bank vaults."
  905. >"Yup, and those tend to have interdiction wards either way. The amulets are actually quite common in certain industries, like hazardous material mining and the like. Set a spot outside the mine entrance, and if you have a mine collapse, a hazardous spill or some other disaster - poof, you're safe. For daily civilian use, though, they're mostly gimmicks. Something ponies do for fun. "Find out how teleportation truly feels like!", and so on. With all the drawbacks, there's not that many ways to apply them practically."
  906. "Yeah, okay... And the cost?"
  907. >She purses her lips, shrugging after a few minutes of thought.
  908. >"Well, enchanting them can take anywhere between weeks or hours, depending on the pony who's doing it, but master wizards that can whip something like that up in a jiffy usually work on more lucrative stuff. I heard it's a common way for magical university students to get some extra bits, so... Anywhere between a hundred or a few hundred bits for one? Catch is, while you can re-use the same amulet many times, the actual materials are probably... Don't know for certain, but between one or two grand? Not entirely sure, honestly."
  909. >You nod as you crunch the numbers.
  910. "So not a small investment, but not prohibitively expensive, at least not by how rich that operation seems to be. I think all the silks and stuff in a single room might have been worth thousands of bits."
  911. >"Definitely. That was a five-star establishment, alright. Fit for royalty... Or nobility."
  912. "Mm... Yeah."
  913. >Predictably, talking about the potential clients of the brothels catches the guard's attention, their ears perking up. Noticing this, you shake your head, turning to them.
  914. "Ignore what we're saying right now, guys. We don't actually have the faintest clue who's been patronizing those establishments. I mean, it's obviously ponies with money, and in Canterlot that usually means old money and the like, but it's all just wild speculation. Not like there's any lack of rich ponies with no noble titles in Canterlot, either. I'd say we're throwing crap at a wall and seeing what sticks, but we don't even have the crap, nor the wall. We got nothing."
  915. >"Mhm," Sharp Gaze nods. "I tried tailing those blacked-out carriages a few times, but when they get out of sight, they tend to really haul flank. And I'm not really suited for high-speed chases."
  916. >The guards consider your words, eventually nodding.
  917. >"Well, ma'am, from what I heard, you did amazingly well just getting this far, with who you had working against you. I would say that you should just take a step back, take a breath, and let the SIU take over from here. Believe me, they have the authority and the resources to turn Canterlot upside down, if they have to."
  918. >You nod slowly.
  919. "Yeah... You're probably right. I'm just a beat guard that took on something way, way above her paygrade."
  920. >And it really ate up pretty much the entirety of your life during those years.
  921. >Sneaking around, covertly (or so you were hoping, at least) trying to get other guards to work with you, probing who's getting paid off or not...
  922. >And so on.
  923. >You'll be glad for the free time.
  924. >Mind you, it's not like it was all for nothing,
  925. >You were doing work above your pay grade, which meant that you should have your pay grade upped, not that you were going to back off.
  926. >Between all the cowpat reprimands and all the other crap you had to deal with, you obviously didn't get any promotions...
  927. >Which should change pretty hard when Golden Hoof gets replaced.
  928. >Not that you're aiming for her position, obviously, but something like Lieutenant Strict Standard sounds pretty nice.
  929. >Then there's all the other things you could have been doing, if you had any free time...
  930. >Stallions... All these thoughts about stallions getting abused and all that just reminds you that you don't have one of your own.
  931. >Courting wasn't really an option while you were involved in this thing, but now...
  932. >Hm, you're going to be famous for a while, Or infamous, depending how this goes. That could work to your advantage.
  933. >Then again, you're all too familiar with the vapid Canterlot masses, chasing fads and dropping them weeks later. Maybe you should wait a little bit until everything dies down just a tad, before jumping into the dating scene.
  934. >And who would you court, anyway? Would they really be okay with you being a guard?
  935. >...
  936. >Your ears flick as you remember who's escorting you.
  937. >Should you hit on some Royal guards?
  938. >Oof. Risky. But oh so tempting. Not until your name is cleared, though.
  939. >Lost in your thoughts as you are, you don't really notice the cityscape pass you by until you reach the palace again.
  940. >Your escorts nod to the guards at the gates, leading you inside and into the palace.
  941. >Before long, you're back in the office.
  942. >"Mission successful, I take it? At ease," He speaks before the guards manage to open their mouths. "Detective Sharp Gaze, I presume?"
  943. >"Yes sir," She nods, standing up a bit straighter. "Reporting as requested."
  944. >"Very well. I am special investigator Biting Wind. By the authority of Her Highness Princess Celestia, I hereby request that you turn over the evidence that you managed to collect during your... Freelance investigation of the stallion trafficking ring."
  945. >"With pleasure, sir. Got everything right here," She pats her saddlebags with satisfaction. "Put it to good use, yeah?"
  946. >"Oh, we will. You have... More than photos, given the size," He states, eyeing her bags as Sharp Gaze levitates them off her back.
  947. >"Naturally. It was hard - their hygiene protocols must have been real stringent - but I did get one hair from the rooms, as well as four from the sitting lobby," She nods, levitating out five different glass vials, with long strands from either manes or tails in them. "No use just yet, but if you actually find suspected patrons..."
  948. >"Magic resonance tests, yes. Very good. Actually... Put those back and come with me. Let's just go to the lab straight away. You too, sergeant," He nods to you. "The lead investigator wants a word with you."
  949. "Yes, sir."
  950. >You leave the office, heading back to the laboratory where you had a memory record made, the pair of guards following along.
  951. >Sharp Gaze starts grinning when she enters the space, her eyes darting in every direction as she takes in all the fancy detective equipment.
  952. >As you reach the central space, you see that it's far busier this time around.
  953. >Several scribes, a pile of papers, a bunch of civilian-looking ponies, and several guards with special investigator insignia, including the one with the fancy badge that you assume is the lead investigator are all talking or busying themselves in other ways.
  954. >The civilians seem like a mixed bunch. Several have artsy cutiemarks, which is not uncommon - guards often hired out ponies to do suspect sketches for them.
  955. >The others seem to be arcanists of some kind, sparkles and magical swirls and the like for their marks.
  956. >As you get closer, you notice that the center piece is your memory crystal, the artists looking closely at the orb while it's frozen on the moment before the final mare teleports out of the long corridor, making sketches of her. There's already several finished sketches of the earth pony that you remember maring the front desk.
  957. >"...Possible to track where they went?" The lead investigator asks one of the mages.
  958. >"Tracking teleportation spells is iffy at best unless you do it right after they teleported, and even then, it's a toss up if you'll get a right answer," One of them answers.
  959. >"Yes, knowing the exact location where they teleported from is helpful, but the best we could MAYBE do is a general direction," Another one adds. "The ripples in the aether will have settled by now."
  960. >"A general direction could still work. If we search the buildings in that direction - they teleported from different points in the brothel, but they must have ended up in the same place, wherever their retreat point was. Would you be able to detect that?"
  961. >"Oooh. A lot more exit vortexes concentrated in one place, with so many ponies... I'm fairly certain it should be possible, unless it was masked by heavy magic use over the area."
  962. >"We'll try it, then. We'll try every avenue. Gather what you need, get an escort, and go perform your tracking spells."
  963. >"Yes, sir."
  964. >As a few arcanists peel off from the crowd, the lead investigator notices your group.
  965. >"Ah. Investigator. And sergeant Strict. Anything to report?"
  966. >"We have secured detective Sharp Gaze, sir," He nods at the excited unicorn. "It would appear she has a trove of evidence to add to our own."
  967. >"Very good. We're still going to have to debrief you, detective, but let's start with the evidence. You can set up here," The unicorn nods at the tables, tidying up the papers and making a space for her.
  968. >"Right away, sir," She nods, setting her bags down and pulling out vials, photos, folders, and so on.
  969. >While she's busy with that, the lead investigator turns to you, nodding.
  970. >"Well, sergeant, I am happy to say that your ordeal is over. The investigation found no wrongdoing on your part. You did violate procedure and break some laws, but given the special circumstances, you clearly operated by the spirit of the law, where your superiors were violating the letter of the law to get you to comply. You - and the ponies that followed your orders - are free to go."
  971. >You can't help but raise your eyebrows.
  972. "Really? Just like that? It's been... It's the second day, technically, but I don't think it's been more than twenty-four hours now."
  973. >He snorts tiredly with some amusement, taking off his helmet and running a hoof through his blue mane, his colors remaining exactly the same as the other guards under the color-changing enchantment. Was he just born with the exact same colors?
  974. >"Is it so hard to believe? The truth will set you free, sergeant. Ancient wisdom still holds true. And that is exactly what happened - you told the truth, and it set you free," He nods to the crystal. "On your part, we found no wrongdoing, and a good chunk of heroism. You can probably expect a medal from Her Highness Celestia some time after this all settles."
  975. "What? But that's for ponies that did something against great adversity-"
  976. >"Going above and beyond, yes, which is exactly what you did. And you did face great adversity - shame that it was from the inside," He scoffs in disgust.
  977. >Your thoughts return to your musings you had while going to the palace. Well, you did go quite above and beyond...
  978. >"Anyway, let's just formalize this," He nods, finding a sheet of paper and writing things down, levitating several other pages from the table and glancing at them. "Formal conclusion of the investigation on... Sergeant Strict Standard, private Brick O- hmmm..."
  979. >He frowns as he glances at the pages. It's hard to see from that angle, but you think there's something scribbled out in one of them, with something added in the margins.
  980. >You cough as you quickly think of something to say without getting yourself into trouble.
  981. >You imagine that every document of the SIU must be held to the highest standard, but you're still going to stick up for your squaddie.
  982. "He says his name is Brick, sir, and the... Second part of his name is a clerical error, or so he claims, one that ponies distastefully mock him with."
  983. >"I... See..." The unicorn nods, clearly conflicted. "Private Brick, then..."
  984. >He writes more things down, the scribes making copies, magical stamps are applied, and in a few minutes, it's all done.
  985. >Finally, he writes something on a small slip of paper, levitating it to the guards that accompanied you here.
  986. >"And there's the orders to release the rest of your squad. You can wait by the gate- Or you can go with the colts here and get them yourself, if you prefer."
  987. "I think I'd like to go myself, sir. Still a bit hard to believe this is really happening."
  988. >He waves a hoof dismissively.
  989. >"Like I said, we found no lies in your debriefings. There was that small snag with the stallion with the drug resistance that you reported, but I'm sure that was just an honest mistake. Memory isn't perfect, after all-"
  990. "Wait," You blurt out, suddenly feeling a weight in your gut. "What snag? I'm certain I remember everything clearly, sir."
  991. >He gives you a curious look.
  992. >"Well, in your debriefing, you claimed that he was able to point out the building that he was forcibly taken to, but when we checked the case records, it stated that he actually pointed out a different building from the one you were casing."
  993. >You fiercely shake your head.
  994. "That is most definitely incorrect, sir."
  995. >He frowns.
  996. >"Tampering with Guard records, then? Another charge to add to the list..."
  997. >Sharp Gaze speaks up.
  998. >"You might find this interesting, sir. An untampered-with report," She says, levitating a folder towards him.
  999. >"...Did you steal the original?" He asks with some amusement, taking and quickly flipping through it. "You ponies really rode roughshod all over procedure, but I suppose I can't blame you. Your paranoia was entirely justified."
  1000. >"No, sir, I just had the archivist make an official copy made days after. You can check the veracity yourself."
  1001. >"And we will. Let's put this in the dating machine," He nods, getting up and taking it with him deeper into the laboratory.
  1002. >You stand there for a moment, debating whether to leave or stay. You weren't told to leave, but you technically have no more reason to be here.
  1003. >Turning at the guards that were given your release orders, you point towards the lead investigator with your head.
  1004. "Mind if I stay just a little longer to see this through? This still pertains to my statement and its veracity."
  1005. >They think for only a few seconds, nodding right after.
  1006. >"Of course, ma'am."
  1007. "Thank you."
  1008. >Nodding in gratitude, you make your way to the dating machine.
  1009. >A nifty thing, if a bit bulky, taking up the space of a couple dozen ponies. A sample chamber, with a whole bunch of lightbulbs, crystals, and, curiously, clocks, sand-filled hourglasses and other time-related paraphernalia attached to it. Every time you saw one of those things, you wondered whether they were really there for functionality, or just for style. Still, it was related to time magic, so...
  1010. >"The date is two days after the case was opened. I even have a newspaper clipping," Sharp Gaze tells the lead investigator as he loads the documents into the chamber.
  1011. >"Very good. Here goes," He nods as he pulls a lever.
  1012. >The machine hums, the clocks coming to life as they begin erratically turning back and forth, the hourglasses flipping over and over as the enchantments do their work.
  1013. >There is a line of numbers above the chamber, which eventually aligns to a date a couple years prior.
  1014. >"...Perfect match. The stamp was genuine too."
  1015. >"Yes, sir. Like I said, the archivist herself made it, so it's all legitimate."
  1016. "Does this mean that my record is going to be rectified, sir?" You ask from behind, the stallion flicking his ears as her turns towards you.
  1017. >"Wh- Oh, sergeant, you're still here. Yes, this will be noted, not that you were under any suspicion, mind you. Like I said, you're already exonerated. Looks like they tried every trick in the book to make it seem like you were-"
  1018. "Chasing ghosts? Yeah, they did," You let out a long-suffering sigh.
  1019. >He raises his eyebrows at your reaction, but doesn't comment on it.
  1020. >"Quite. Odd that they chose to do this - dating magic is quite reliable, so this is an easy ruse to discover. I suppose they were banking on me doing exactly what I did. The changes really were very minor."
  1021. "And that was the only clue I had as to what was actually happening in those places. Without that stallion's statements, the bets were still on gambling dens or the like. And with no other proof, they could easily wave off any requests to double-check the records as me being a paranoid kook."
  1022. >"Most likely. Your perseverance won in the end, though. Do you have any other concerns?"
  1023. >You hold your breath for a moment, thinking it over before you shake your head.
  1024. "None that I'm aware of, though I'd really like to know- Nevermind, you're not at liberty to tell me."
  1025. >He considers you for a moment before shrugging and waving you over, cantering back to the central area.
  1026. >"Sergeant, are you aware what the most important aspect is for being selected for this role?"
  1027. >You blink at the seeming non-sequitur.
  1028. "...Integrity?
  1029. >"Correct. In a different timeline, you might be in my place. You have certainly demonstrated yourself to be a mare of great integrity. So, if you have any burning questions, I'm willing to answer a few - within reason."
  1030. >As he talks, he sits down at the table, levitating a pot and a mug over to himself from somewhere further in and pouring himself a coffee.
  1031. >You flare your nostrils as the smell hits you. You're going to need some of that when you get out of the palace. Or something stronger. Licking your lips, you try to think of something simple.
  1032. "Alright, I have to know - did it work? Was I right, and Golden Hoof didn't manage to make a trail of false reports that would justify her showing up at the hospital out of the blue?"
  1033. >He grins as he sips the coffee, giving you an amused look.
  1034. >"Yes and no. There were too many reports, actually. It seems that some of her cronies got wind of her arrest, and panicked, trying to cover both for themselves and their leader. But, since her network appeared to be quite compartmentalized, they had no idea what the others were doing, and ended up making a bunch of conflicting nonsense. A witness seeing the whole thing, a pair of guards from another precinct noticing your squad leave the building and reporting it, and so on."
  1035. "She's done for, then. It's really over," You sigh happily.
  1036. >At that, his expression sours a bit.
  1037. >"Oh no, I'm afraid it's just begun. It's over for YOU, sergeant - you are free. But while her actions are extremely suspicious, we don't yet have direct evidence linking her to the brothels, only circumstantial ones, and we're going to need to dig quite deep to uncover this all."
  1038. >At that, you grit your teeth.
  1039. "Please, please don't tell me that that slimeball will get away due to a technicality. Yes, it's only circumstantial evidence, but come *on*. We know someone was running those brothels, we know she got the info from somewhere, but since no one found a written note signed "head of the criminal sex trafficking ring" on her person, you can't definitively link the two together?"
  1040. >"Ha! I wish she had a note like that, but no. Don't worry, though - believe me, sergeant, Her Highness is taking this very, very seriously, and no, she's not stupid, nor is she going to let technicalities get in the way of justice. She's not the mare to let ponies quote the book at her and slip away, when she wrote most of those books herself," He chuckles. "There's- Well, perhaps I said enough already."
  1041. "Right. I'll get out of your mane, then. I'll... See you around, Sharp. Thanks for everything," You nod to the unicorn as you turn to leave.
  1042. >"Don't mention it," She waves it off with a pleased grin.
  1043. >As you begin to canter away, you hear her talking with the lead investigator.
  1044. >"There's the photos, from every angle possible..."
  1045. >"Very impressive, detective. May I ask how did you get roped into this? The sergeant's debriefing mentioned something about a bottle of whiskey?"
  1046. >"Heh, yeah, she bribed me to do some off-the-clock work. I was actually suspicious at first, but when I looked into it, I started working pro-bono..."
  1047. >You chuckle in your head as you recall the event.
  1048. >Sharp Gaze was mostly an unknown to you at the time. Hay, even now, you're not too sure if you could call her a friend. You paid her, she got suspicious and lured you to her mare cave for an interrogation, and when she saw that you were on the level, you began working together. You never once "hung out", though, at least, not due to out of work reasons, and your relationship was a somewhat friendly, but still professional one.
  1049. >"So I'm certain you noticed that we have a lot of outside help here. If you have reasonable suspicions about some place but didn't have the time to case it, or have other evidence, no matter how small-"
  1050. >"Are you saying I'll get to work with the SIU?! EEEE!"
  1051. >You were thinking you were going to need to buy her a whole barrel of whiskey after this for all the trouble, but now, you're not sure if she's not going to be the one buying the barrel for you, given how her conversation with the lead seems to be going.
  1052. >She's acting like a foal in a candy shop. No, a foal in a candy shop that just got told that Hearthswarming was coming early AND that she could have all the sugar she wants.
  1053. >Given how legendary these investigations seem to be among detectives, it's not hard to surmise that she'd give a foreleg and a hindleg just to observe one, let alone be a participant.
  1054. >Well... Good for her.
  1055. >You, though, have other things to do now,
  1056. >Time to bust your squad out of the dungeons!
  1057. "Lead the way, gentlecolts," You nod to the guards.
  1058.  
  1059. >There's a pep in your step, and you can't keep a smile off your face as the guards lead you deeper into the palace.
  1060. >"State your business."
  1061. >They stop at the checkpoint leading to the underground area, presenting the guards there with the slip of paper.
  1062. >"Orders to release a number of suspects detained by the SIU. She's their commanding officer."
  1063. >"Understood. Come with me."
  1064. >He leads you to the vaguely familiar corridors, stopping in front of a door. You haven't noticed before, but while the doors didn't have locks, there were some new-looking bars on them, so it wasn't a completely honor-based system.
  1065. >Lifting it off, the guard sets it aside, opening the door.
  1066. >"Ma'am? You are being- Hm..."
  1067. >Leaning sideways, you snort as you see what made the guard give the room a flat look.
  1068. >It wasn't hard to guess who was in there, as there were a dozen bubbles, squares, diamond shapes, and other kinds of shields either floating around, or standing suspended in the air.
  1069. >"Yes, sir? Something wrong?" Warder asks, completely innocently.
  1070. "Prisoners usually aren't supposed to mess around with magic, doofus," You answer from behind him, not quite able to keep the smile off your face.
  1071. >"But I'm not a prisoner, right? This isn't a prison. Not that I'm aware of."
  1072. "...You are probably technically correct. You're still a detainee of the Royal Guard, though."
  1073. >"Hey, I got bored, alright? And with Breaker not here to pop them and test them for me, I got a bit carried away..."
  1074. >You shake your head, turning to the guards.
  1075. "She's a bit hyper focused on her talent, but don't worry, she wasn't going to try anything funny."
  1076. >"I'll take your word for it, ma'am. The other one, though - Breaker?"
  1077. "Right... Better get her before she starts dismantling the walls. Come on, Ward, pop those and let's go. We're free to go."
  1078. >"Sweet! Yes, sarge!"
  1079. >She takes a few moments to dispel the shields, hopping to her hooves and trotting out of the room.
  1080. >The next one in line is actually Brick, the stallion simply nodding with a "Yes, sergeant," as he gets up once he gets the news.
  1081. >Stern Hoof almost does a somersault through the door, doing a full-body stretch once she's out.
  1082. >"About time."
  1083. "It's barely been a day, Stern."
  1084. >"Too long for me, I'm a mare of action. So, did we do it? Did we win?"
  1085. "We haven't won until Golden Hoof's tailhole is behind bars, but yes, her entire network is getting picked apart piece by piece. It shouldn't take long now, I think."
  1086. >"Sweet. Let's get out of here, this calls for a celebratory drink!"
  1087. "Right you are."
  1088. >Next, you finally reach Breaker, her room fortunately still pristine and not demolished.
  1089. "Oh good, we were worried you started blowing things up out of boredom."
  1090. >"Hey, I'm not that dumb! I know when it's a bad idea to start breaking things! Like when you're underground and the walls might collapse on you."
  1091. "Also when you're detained by the Royal Guard, and breaking the Palace's rooms would piss them off."
  1092. >"...Right, that too."
  1093. >Your team collectively shake their heads as the twins are reunited, sharing a quick nuzzle.
  1094. >After the guards give the room a quick once-over to make sure and check for damage, they see that the only victim was the lighting crystal, which Breaker seemed to have artistically carved into the shape of a pony.
  1095. >Staring at it for a moment and shrugging, they lead you further in.
  1096. >Like Stern Hoof, Thunder Spark is buzzing with energy, barely restraining herself from bouncing in place.
  1097. >And finally, the other pegasi are eager to stretch their wings, Winter Gale and Dive Dodge shuffling their feathers in excitement.
  1098. >"High feather, sarge!"
  1099. >"Buck yeah, up top!"
  1100. >You grin as you share a couple wing-fives with your squaddies.
  1101. "Alright, that's enough, get yourselves in order. Keep the celebrating to a minimum until we get out of the palace. These guys still have a lot of work to do, so let's get out of their manes."
  1102. >As you get ready to go, you look around.
  1103. >There's plenty more rooms, all of them still barred.
  1104. >Probably for Golden Hoof's lackeys. One of them might well contain the mare herself. Probably does.
  1105. >The thought gives you a warm feeling in your chest as you follow the guards out.
  1106. >Stern Hoof bounces forward, hopping on the tips on her hooves.
  1107. >"So, how did everything go? What are these SIU guys about? Did they put you through some secret super-interrogation, or something?"
  1108. "Don't know, did they do anything like that to you? I did get my memories read by a unicorn. Made a copy of them, too."
  1109. >She lets out a whistle.
  1110. >"All I had was lots of questioning. What about the rest of you?"
  1111. >The others give nods and murmurs of agreement.
  1112. "Well, I was behind this whole thing, so it makes sense. Only other thing they did was get me to bring in Sharp Gaze, though. Nothing too big or special other than that."
  1113. >"Wait, did you go to that secret hideout thing of hers? Hope you managed to shake off the journalists. She'd be furious if half of Canterlot found out about it," Thunder Spark speaks up.
  1114. "No, none of them followed me, actually. Golden Hoof was led out through the front gate with four full squads of Royal guards right before me, so I imagine they all swarmed her. It was quite a sight."
  1115. >"Haw! Serves the little bastard right," Winter Gale guffaws.
  1116. >Stern Hoof frowns, furrowing her brows.
  1117. >"But wait, if there's no one to distract them, then they're going to jump us this time. Mare, I do NOT want that right now."
  1118. >Dive Dodge and Winter Gale share a glance, raising their eyebrows.
  1119. >"Why the buck not? Get some well-deserved bragging in, mare!" Dive chirps.
  1120. >"Yeah, we're bucking heroes! News of the what, century? These Special Investigations are real rare, right?" Gale adds.
  1121. >"You pegasi and your bragging," She grumbles. "I'm all for it - TOMORROW. We've been at this for so long and I've been strung up so tight, I just want one damn day without thinking or talking about that dried up cunt. Just a relaxing drinking session. Please?"
  1122. >There's a lot of glancing at each other with hemming and hawing as the rest of the squad gauge each other's reactions, most of them eventually nodding or shrugging.
  1123. >You do sympathize with her a bit. Guess it's up to you to make this happen, then.
  1124. "Alright, fair enough. In that case, we probably need to leave through someplace other than the main gate," You nod, turning to the guards. "Pardon me, sirs, but could we do that? My squad would like a bit of discretion for the moment. Just a side gate or something will do, I'm not asking for a secret escape tunnel or anything like that."
  1125. >They only think for a few seconds before nodding.
  1126. >"Certainly, ma'am, we can use one of the servant's entrances."
  1127. >Changing directions, they lead you back deeper into the palace, through some tight corridors and turns.
  1128. >Before long, you're standing outside, taking in a deep breath with a smile.
  1129. >The Royals don't seem much for banter, but you can't help yourself, turning towards them as you leave.
  1130. "Thank you for the hospitality, it was a great stay. Five stars. Beds could use some work, though."
  1131. >They blink in surprise, smiling faintly before schooling their features back into their usual neutral looks as your squad sniggers quietly.
  1132. >As you trot away, you take another breath, letting it out and pursing you lips for a moment.
  1133. "Alright, so where do we actually go?"
  1134. >"First drinking hole I set my eyes on," Stern Hoof sighs, Dive Dodge immediately protesting.
  1135. >"No way, all the places near the palace will be overpriced, fancy cocktail joints. We need to gain some distance," She scoffs.
  1136. >"Oh yeah... Good point."
  1137. "Palisade?" You suggest.
  1138. >"It's a bit of a trot, but sure," Stern Hoof groans.
  1139. >"I wonder how they'll react to us," Thunder Spark muses.
  1140. >The Palisade was a guardmare hang out joint, nearly all their patrons being either active or retired guards of all stripes. Usually, it was a safe bet to have a chill time among like-minded ponies, but recent events might have changed that. You kind of turned the apple cart upside down out of nowhere, at least from the average guard's that had no idea what was happening point of view.
  1141. "They'll either want to know details or avoid us like the plague," You nod.
  1142. >"Come on, we're heroes. All the ponies we took down were corrupt pieces of trash. If any of them have problems with that, perhaps we should point the SIU at them," Winter Gale grumbles, giving you a flat look.
  1143. >You sigh as you shake your head.
  1144. "I wish it worked like that, Gale, but you should know better than that by now. Unfortunately, the vast majority of "adults" still operate by kindergarten rules. Snitches get stitches, and all that crap, even in situations as abhorrent as the one we uncovered. Most guards will be impressed, of course, but there will still be a bunch that will avoid us even if they weren't involved."
  1145. >"Sad but true," Brick speaks up, the usually quiet stallion's agreement making everyone else go silent.
  1146. >Nothing else is said for the rest of the way.
  1147. >There's a tiny bit of hesitation in your foreleg as you reach for the handle on the entrance, but you clamp down on it.
  1148. >There's barely any patrons as you trot in, your squad doubling the amount of ponies in the building.
  1149. >"Huh. Bit quiet," Stern Hoof mutters.
  1150. "It's probably early. Hay, I completely lost track of time, but... Hm, I woke up, went to get Sharp Gaze... It can't be much later than midday. They probably opened just now."
  1151. >"Bit early for drinking, isn't it?" Breaker asks.
  1152. >"...To Tartarus with it," Stern Hoof shakes her head. "It's a celebratory drink, time doesn't matter for those. And we can get some food as well."
  1153. >As you make your way to the bar, the barmare looks your squad up and down, raising an eyebrow with a quiet "huh" under her breath.
  1154. >That's the extent of her reaction, though. There was an unspoken rule in The Palisade - you didn't bother others about work, unless they explicitly agreed to talk. This was a place to get away from it all, if just for an hour or two.
  1155. >"So, what's your poison?"
  1156. >"Whiskey, double shot," Stern Hoof immediately answers.
  1157. >You shake your head with a grin.
  1158. "Big pint of cider, and is your kitchen open yet? Also, our credit is good here, right? We just got out of... More or less the Royal Dungeons. Didn't really have a bit purse with me."
  1159. >The mare hums as she takes stock of you.
  1160. >"Well, if you're on the right side of the kerfuffle that happened recently - and I'm assuming you are, if you're trotting free - then yes, your credit's good."
  1161. "Awesome."
  1162. >You hear her mutter "The greasy crooks sucking the rapist's clits are all going on the blacklist, though."
  1163. >The rest of your squad make their orders one by one, most of them taking ciders, while Winter Gale picks a tall glass of fortified wine.
  1164. >Finding an empty table, all of you sit down, holding your drinks and staring at them with uncertain expressions.
  1165. >Letting out a long, shaky sigh, you feel everything inside you shudder, like there's something uncoiling or unwinding.
  1166. >These years have been Tartarus on you. Though you put on a brave face, there were plenty of times you were afraid, too. You didn't know the extent of those criminal's reach, and whether they were going to try and "disappear" you one day.
  1167. >But that's it. You did it. You won.
  1168. "Well... To victory."
  1169. >Their uncertain expressions turn to tired smiles as your squad really begins to internalize it.
  1170. >"We really did it, huh? Blazing Tartarus, we did it," Stern Hoof smiles as she clinks her glass against the other's.
  1171. >"I really thought we were going to end up in jail or something," Thunder Spark shakes her head.
  1172. >"I really thought we were going to end up having to blow up a jail," Breaker sniggers as she hoof-bumps Warder.
  1173. >"Nutcase," Dive Dodge laughs, drinking half her mug in a single pull.
  1174. >"What? If Golden Hoof won, we'd have kept on fighting even if they tried to lock us up," Warder says, agreeing with her twin. "Would be hard to call us criminals if all we did was keep busting out and harassing Golden Hoof."
  1175. "Yeah, all of the extreme solutions are in the past now, though, so we can forget about those."
  1176. >It's obviously quite hard to steer the conversation away from Golden Hoof and all the shenanigans associated with her, but the eight of you mostly manage, talking about small things, making plans to relax a bit and maybe go on vacations, how your careers are going to change now that you're no longer going to be the pariahs of the City Guard, and so on.
  1177. >More drinks, as well as food, are ordered, the time ticking by.
  1178. >A small number of guards enter and leave while you're eating and drinking, and though the ones that recognize you give you intensely curious looks, you give them small shakes of your head, which they respect.
  1179. >Eventually, though, a different mare enters, this one not quite looking like a guard, either former or current.
  1180. >Scanning the place, she notices you, beelining for your table.
  1181. "Well. Trouble o'clock?" You mutter into your mug, pointing towards her with your muzzle.
  1182. >"Doesn't look like a journalist. No camera or notepad. No hat that says "press" either," Breaker points out.
  1183. >The slender unicorn indeed didn't look like a journalist, with no clothes or accessories to speak of, the only things standing out about her being her immaculately groomed coat, mane and tail, and hooves.
  1184. >"Sergeant Strict Standard?" She asks with a professional smile, stopping in front of your table.
  1185. "Maybe. Who wants to know?"
  1186. >"Princess Celestia told me - and a few others - to find you and give you an invite to the palace."
  1187. >That makes all of you pause, your squad sharing suspicious looks among themselves.
  1188. "We just were at the palace," You point out. "Why not grab us before we left?"
  1189. >"Well, I'm not privy to Her Highness's thoughts, but I think it may be possible she wasn't aware that you were going to be released so swiftly."
  1190. "Right... Okay. Alright," You nod, downing the rest of your cider. "Any reason as to why we're invited?"
  1191. >"I'm afraid not, but I imagine it must be related to the investigation?"
  1192. >Her absolutely professional expression doesn't falter in the slightest as she's talking.
  1193. "Alright, it would be rude to refuse after we got a free five-star stay at the place at her pleasure," You nod to the rest of your squad as they finish their food and drinks. "Let's see what she wants with us."
  1194. >"Very good. If you have no other pressing business, let's get going."
  1195. "Lead the way."
  1196. >As you all leave the bar, your squad forms up around the mare, instead of letting her take point.
  1197. >She flicks her ears in confusion, eyeing the formation from the corners of her eyes for a few minutes before speaking up.
  1198. >"Um, Is everything alright, sergeant?"
  1199. "But of course. Isn't it?"
  1200. >"Well, it just almost looks like you're... Detaining me, or something. Or escorting me somewhere."
  1201. >You chuckle, your squad grinning at her predatorily.
  1202. "No, that's silly. We're just taking some precautionary measures."
  1203. >That makes her lose a bit of her composure, her muzzle scrunching.
  1204. >"Precautions against what, sergeant?"
  1205. "Shenanigans."
  1206. >"...Shenanigans?"
  1207. "Shenanigans," You repeat, nodding sagely as several of your squaddies snigger.
  1208. >"May I ask what sort of shenanigans? What are you expecting?"
  1209. "Well, I'm not entirely sure, but mostly, I'm expecting you to try and lead us somewhere other than the palace with some flimsy excuse where we'll end up in an ambush, or something."
  1210. >She blinks slowly, her expressions cycling from confused to befuddled, until it sets on something like "disbelievingly amused".
  1211. >"Oh... Oh! You think I'm working with those... Corrupt ponies?"
  1212. "That's the working theory. Sorry, gal, you showing up like that was pretty suspicious, and I don't believe Celestia couldn't snag us in time if she wanted to talk to us," You shrug.
  1213. >"And what if I am?"
  1214. >"You'll be the first to lose your teeth," Stern Hoof growls, stomping her hooves extra hard on the road.
  1215. >That makes her visibly nervous, the unicorn licking her teeth before trying to put on the same, professional smile.
  1216. >"W-well, I'm not! I work in the palace! Which is where we're going! With no suspicious detours or dark alleys!"
  1217. "Yeah, you do that," You chuckle.
  1218. >To your surprise and mild disappointment, she does bring you to the palace, and the guards recognize her and let her in.
  1219. >"Huh. And here I was all fired up for a good scrap," Stern Hoof mutters.
  1220. >"You mares are paranoid," The unicorn huffs, giving your squad a flat look.
  1221. "Can you blame us, after what happened?" You ask, giving her the same look in return.
  1222. >"Well, I don't know the full details yet, but I guess not? Whatever. Follow me, please," She shakes her head as she leads you deeper in.
  1223. >You are led to a fancy sitting room, currently empty.
  1224. >"You will be attended to momentarily. Please don't go anywhere. Her Highness will join you soon," The mare nods as she leaves.
  1225. >Your squad scans the room, finding places to sit after sharing a few uncertain shrugs.
  1226. >"Any clue, sarge?" Breaker asks.
  1227. "None whatsoever," You shrug back, finding a massive sitting pillow and draping yourself across it.
  1228. >A couple of maids enter moments later, their expressions bearing the same professional smiles as the first mare's.
  1229. >"Greetings, gentlemares and sir. Would you like refreshments of any kind?"
  1230. "Well, we just ate and drank at a bar..."
  1231. >"Wonder if they serve alcohol," Stern Hoof muses aloud. "I know Celestia is all about tea, but there's no way there isn't a stash for important guests and dignitaries and the like."
  1232. >That makes the maids pause a little.
  1233. >"Certainly, ma'am, if the occasion calls for it. Unfortunately, we weren't informed of the nature of this meeting that Her Highness wishes to have with you..."
  1234. "Right, it'd be bad form if she rolls in with tea and cakes and we're doing shots," You wave her off. "I'll just have a glass of water. Or hay, maybe juice. Whatever you have fresh."
  1235. >"Very good, ma'am."
  1236. >It doesn't take them long to return, and there's a few minutes of sipping and making random guesses until Celestia arrives.
  1237. >She doesn't come alone, five ponies in tow with her, which gets a lot of wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
  1238. >Not that you expected her to come alone, no. It's the nature of the ponies. Leather wings, slitted eyes... Sharp teeth in their smiles.
  1239. >Bats. Batponies.
  1240. >You've heard of them, of course, but...
  1241. >You haven't really seen many, and what you heard was highly suspect.
  1242. >Other than them being a fourth tribe of ponies that no one really knew the roots of and that seemingly had no record in Equestria's important historical events such as the unification of the three tribes, facts were few and far between.
  1243. >They ate fruit. They drank blood. They seduced stallions, and snatched them away in the night. They sparkled in the sunlight. Stallions said they found them creepy, but were secretly massively turned on by them. They were actually some kind of ancient, terrifying demons wrought into the shape of ponies by the mythological Nightmare Moon to serve in her armies, and after her defeat, Celestia didn't have the heart to kill them all, so she put them in her employ, taking care of the dark side of guarding Equestria, giving them the vilest, darkest, most detestable jobs, yet ones that still had to be done, in the name of national security.
  1244. >Probably not the last one. And not any of the other ones, either. Well, they probably did seduce stallions at night, since they were nocturnal, but you're pretty sure that they have stallions of their own. Other than that, they were most likely just some exotic offshoot of the pegasus tribe that settled some strange magical place that changed them over the centuries, or something like that.
  1245. >"Ahh, sergeant. Don't get up," The princess speaks. "My apologies, I am assuming you got pulled away from a celebratory feast?"
  1246. "Eh... Kind of, but we were mostly done anyway, and we weren't going to get drunk in the middle of the day," You shrug as they take their seats. "Your invitation did take us by surprise, though."
  1247. >"Ah, yes, Quick Sweep told me about the somewhat tense journey to the palace," She giggles. "Once again, my apologies. However, something has come up. I actually have multiple departments working on this investigation, and they asked for your input," She nods to the batmares.
  1248. "Alright, well... We're at your service, princess," You shrug, eyeing the bats curiously, your squad doing the same.
  1249. >"Dutiful as ever. Very well. Sergeant Strict Standard, may I introduce to you, Earned Income, agent of ERS.
  1250. >...
  1251. >Did she just say ERS?
  1252. >As in, the Equestrian Revenue Service?
  1253. "...A pleasure," You nod mechanically as your thoughts screech to a halt, the world crashing down around you.
  1254. >You suddenly have the strange urge to make sure your dog is okay, even though you don't own a dog.
  1255. >ERS? ERS?!
  1256. >Bucking Tartarus! Celestia's flaming teats!
  1257. >It's probably good that you didn't say that last one out loud.
  1258. >Your knowledge of the world gets violently rearranged as what you just learned settles in your brain.
  1259. >They were right! Everything was right!!! Every single bit about them!
  1260. >The batponies ARE demons!
  1261. >Demons working for the ERS!
  1262. >Many ponies joked that ERS ponies probably had no souls, but they had no clue just how right they were!
  1263. >"Likewise, and take your time," The ERS bat-demon speaks. "I am assuming you haven't met many of my kind yet."
  1264. "No, I have not," You shake your head, silently adding "And I hope not to." in your head. You can never avoid ERS agents too hard, after all.
  1265. >Not that you ever laundered money or anything of the sort, but you heard that ERS agents were ones to tax you for an undeclared bit coin you found lying on the street and bought yourself a candy bar with.
  1266. >She nods, shuffling some folders as her lackeys do the same, a couple of them preparing writing implements.
  1267. >"Well, whenever you're ready, we'd like you to do your best and remember which ponies, in your opinion, were taking bribes. While the SIU have apprehended a number of them, they are focusing on direct links first, and not all of them exposed themselves just yet. While we are going to be auditing the vast majority of the City Guard for undeclared income, that is a lot of ponies to cover, not to mention a number of other ponies outside the guard, which is quite the workload. If you're able to name them, we'd like to prioritize the most likely suspects to nab them as fast as possible," She explains.
  1268. "Yeah... Sure..."
  1269. >Though it's an entirely reasonable request, it still leaves your guts twisted up in discomfort.
  1270. >Sell out your coworkers to literal ERS demons from Tartarus... Or wherever they were from.
  1271. >The same coworkers that broke their sacred oaths to Equestria, that is.
  1272. >Well, they brought this on themselves.
  1273. >You glance back at your squad, Brick and the mares giving you slightly scared, but firm nods.
  1274. "Alright, well, there was a number of ponies that kept bragging about how they were getting all these "performance bonuses" and how I should stop "chasing ghosts" if I ever wanted to advance in my career or just make any bits... And when I got bored on a slow day after I was stuck on desk duty and checked some of their performances, they didn't seem to have done anything whatsoever to merit a bonus... Just patrols with no incidents whatsoever."
  1275. >Earned Income gets a toothy grin at that, making a small shiver run down your spine as she licks her fangs.
  1276. >"Good. Gooood... What can you tell me about them? Spare no details..."
  1277.  
  1278. >Though you did mention some ponies in your initial interrogation by the SIU investigator, "I think she's getting paid too much" was a flimsy excuse to accuse someone, to say the least, so there were some ponies that went unnamed - until now.
  1279. >And it's not like you even knew what they were actually getting paid - for all you knew, they were just bragging.
  1280. >You do tell Earned Income that you aren't able to guarantee the accuracy of this in any way whatsoever, but she just waves it off, reassuring you and reminding you that they were going to go through most of the Guard anyway. This was just for stacking priorities.
  1281. >Your squad chimes in now and then with some tidbit that they heard, though they mostly let you speak.
  1282. >Refreshments and snacks are brought in, and it is indeed tea and fancy tea cakes.
  1283. >The talk doesn't take longer than an hour or two, and before long, the bats are packing their folders up with big yawns, showing off their fangs.
  1284. >You're assuming working past midday for them is the same as working past midnight for you.
  1285. >"Pleasure working with you, sergeant. We'll get right on these," She smiles as she taps the folders.
  1286. "Sure. Performance bonuses are legal, though, right? How will you know if anything's off?"
  1287. >"Well, we can ask the guards to correlate those bonuses with the actual performance records, like you did. And we'll look for unexplained income in the meantime as well, of course, so we'll get them for tax evasion if we can't pin anything else on them. And if a small amount of ponies constantly got performance bonuses over and over again while others got nothing, that's a big red flag," She lists off, gesticulating with her wing claws. "We're taking every possible avenue and tugging on every lead. Her Highness wishes this corruption to be exposed and shut down as hard as possible."
  1288. >"Indeed so," Celestia agrees. "And if we come down on this corrupt network of guards with the precision that makes it look like we already know who they are - even if we don't - it makes it that much easier to make the ponies crack and spill their secrets, since they'll assume that the ones higher up the chain already did the same."
  1289. "Shock and awe," You mutter.
  1290. >"Precisely. I don't often get into this "furious, fiery mistress of the Sun" persona, but this is one of the times that calls exactly for that. I want this investigation to put, for lack of a better term, the fear of Celestia into those ponies, nice and deep. I want them to be looking over their shoulders wherever they go, and when my agents come for them, I want them to fall to their knees and beg for mercy, spilling every single dirty, filthy secret that they assumed they could keep from me."
  1291. >Damn.
  1292. "Damn."
  1293. >That was pretty badflank. Celestia is sometimes called "The mother of Equestria", but she's not particularly known for being the kind of parent that gives out spankings. Still, even she clearly has her limits.
  1294. >She actually folds her ears in embarrassment after that, coughing delicately and looking away.
  1295. >"I do not enjoy it, but..."
  1296. "Hey, it's not like we guards are any different. I mean, it's not like we don't enjoy our jobs, but we clearly play a role when we're out on the streets. Gotta keep up appearances, play up the part of "fearless guard", strike fear into the hearts of the wicked and inspire confidence in the rule of law in the citizens, and all that."
  1297. >She nods, smiling again, though the smile is a bit wistful.
  1298. >"Mmm, true. We all have our roles to play, and Golden Hoof certainly failed in hers, while you stepped up where others fell short. Shame about her, really... She didn't really seem like a particularly remarkable mare in any way, but she didn't really have any stains in her record, either. An old, reliable hoof that wouldn't turn the apple cart over when I wasn't looking. Seemed like a safe bet, or so I hoped. So much for that."
  1299. >You shake your head.
  1300. "Hey now, you're already holding the entirety of Equestria on your shoulders. You're not supposed to need to watch over every government employee's backs so they don't mess up, that's nuts. You can't say you "weren't looking" when you're busy with a hundred other things already."
  1301. >She laughs, an airy, carefree laugh this time.
  1302. >"Well, sergeant, yes and no. I have made peace that I will not be able to create an absolute utopia of some kind in Equestria, and crime and other things will still exist, yes. But Canterlot, my city, my home... I tend to try and keep a closer eye on it. Trim any weeds before they get the chance to flower and spread. Lead by example, you know? I've just been a bit busier than usual these past years."
  1303. >You flick your ears as you try to figure out what she's talking about. A few of your squaddies give you blank looks when you glance at them."
  1304. "I'm sorry, if I may, I mean, if it's not some state secret - what were you busy with? I'm not aware of any big international events or diplomatic happenings lately."
  1305. >"Oh no, it's much closer to home than that. You might have heard about my personal student?"
  1306. "Oh, yeah... I remember reading about the explosion in the school years ago. Something about a dragon. Fun stuff."
  1307. >You didn't really know much besides that, though.
  1308. >As a mare, you obviously had fun reading about explosions and magical mishaps, but past that, Celestia's student was mostly the concern of various social climbers that wanted to get closer to Celestia through her, and the like.
  1309. >And there were no more explosions, so you didn't really get to read anything more about her. Or if they were, they were masterfully contained, with no knowledge getting out.
  1310. >Celestia laughs again.
  1311. >"Yes, Twilight has moved past magical property damage, thankfully. Not that her talents were ever destruction-related, but she does have a lot of raw skill that needs a careful guiding hoof and refinement. She will grow up to be a great mare one day, and I wanted to devote enough time to make sure it happens... Which led to me overlooking a few things happening under my nose, apparently."
  1312. >You shrug.
  1313. "I still think there's little you could have done, princess, but then again, I'm not an ancient alicorn with ageless wisdom, so what do I know."
  1314. >"Well, you'd be surprised how many things I find out from ponies just coming to me to complain about random things. I do hold court, you know. You could have popped in," She smiles with a light chuckle. "Would you like more tea?"
  1315. "I... Yes please. Thank you."
  1316. >Your mind goes blank and you head fills with fog as you process what she just said while Celestia refills your cup.
  1317. >By C- By the heavens, you were a moron.
  1318. >Princess Celestia holding court wasn't exactly a secret or something only the super elite could attend.
  1319. >You could have got this thing rolling far earlier.
  1320. >If only you weren't so damned...
  1321. >By the book.
  1322. >Sure, going to Celestia was technically in the book... It was just such an out-of-ordinary solution that it didn't even occur to you.
  1323. >You and your squad continue making small talk for a while, the princess managing to make you all feel relaxed enough to talk to her more casually.
  1324. >She even manages to get Brick to say more than two sentences, which is a feat.
  1325. >The entire time, though, there's a growing pain in your chest, like something's constricting your lungs.
  1326. >Still, you manage to smile and fake your way through the conversation.
  1327. >Eventually, though, the tea dries up, and Celestia gets up.
  1328. >"Well, this was a pleasant time, sergeant, but I'm afraid I do have more duties today. You're free to go back to your celebration, and I believe the time of day is now more appropriate for a celebratory drink," She finishes with a wink.
  1329. >You chuckle weakly, nodding at her with a smile.
  1330. "It's been a pleasure, princess, really. I wish I could do more - it's a bit annoying to sit at the sidelines while your investigators are running around like their tails are on fire, but I don't have any more leads or the like."
  1331. >She shakes her head as she opens the door with her magic.
  1332. >"You've done plenty, sergeant. And I'm sure you're going to do plenty more in the future, given the opportunity, which I am going to make sure you will have. If you keep on going like you did, you are going to have a long and illustrious career, with a good shot for the top."
  1333. >You raise your eyebrows as you canter towards the exit.
  1334. "What, the chief commissioner...?"
  1335. >Her smile lights up the room.
  1336. >"Well, not right away, of course."
  1337. "Obviously."
  1338. >"Indeed. However, sergeant, tell me - have you ever heard the phrase "virtue is its own reward?" "
  1339. "I think so, yes. What about it?"
  1340. >"I always found it to be a bit of a pile of cowpat."
  1341. >You snort, coughing and almost choking at suddenly hearing the princess swear, the rest of your squad making similar noises.
  1342. >"I find it quite unfair that criminals can live the high life with every luxury and illicit pleasure imaginable before they get caught - if they even get caught, that is - while good ponies are expected to be happy with a pat on the head for a job well done. If you keep going as you are - and not turn out to be a "one hit wonder", hehe - taking Golden Hoof's former position is most certainly a very real possibility, a couple decades down the line. You showed that you have the sufficient moral fiber, as well as a dogged determination not to let injustice go. I will be watching your career with great interest, sergeant."
  1343. "Oh. Cool... I think."
  1344. >Decades? For an alicorn like her, it must be nothing. But then again, why not plan ahead? You are just a mere sergeant now, so that's not really such a bad estimate of how long it would probably take you to get there.
  1345. >"Indeed. Be well, sergeant. And don't think I'll forget about the rest of you, too," She smiles at your squad. "Expect many commendations once this is concluded. Have a nice evening, all of you."
  1346. "Thank you, Your Highness!"
  1347. >That was a pretty clear dismissal, so your squad shuffles out of the room, looking around for a moment before remembering which way the exit is.
  1348. >Your squad is quite elated, but now that you're no longer talking to Celestia, the same pain comes back.
  1349. >Feeling your guts twist up, you glance around as you trot through the corridors of the palace.
  1350. >"Drank too much tea, sarge?" Breaker chuckles, noticing something in your expression.
  1351. "I did, yeah. You gals go, I need to find the can in this place, I won't last until we get back to the pub, or wherever we're going now," You wave them off. "I'll meet you by the exit."
  1352. >"Sure. Don't get lost."
  1353. "Plenty of servants and guards around, I'll find someone to ask."
  1354. >As they get out of sight, you start taking deep, shuddering breaths.
  1355. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"
  1356. >Grinding your teeth, you approach a wall, slamming your stupid, useless head against it as moisture begins gathering in your eyes.
  1357. "I'm such a bucking moron..."
  1358. >Unfortunately, the "plenty of guards and servants" bit is entirely true. The palace is quite lively, and a group of ponies pass by through an intersection, their approach going unnoticed as their are hoofsteps muffled by the thick carpets.
  1359. >"...Sergeant? What are you doing back in the palace?"
  1360. >You glance at the pony. Double damn it!
  1361. >It's not just some random guard, it's the lead investigator himself, accompanied by a few scribes and assistants.
  1362. >Quickly wiping your eyes with a foreleg, you sniffle as he frowns, taking in your appearance.
  1363. >"Did something happen? Was there a development I'm not aware of? Did something happen to Anonymous-"
  1364. "No, nothing, like that," You shake your head, schooling your expression into a more neutral one. You're no Royal Guard, but you can still keep your face straight, even when emotionally unstable. "Princess Celestia invited my squad and I for a talk with her, as well as a few ponies from a different government department."
  1365. >He raises his eyebrows.
  1366. >"Other... The ERS, I assume? I know some ponies find their appearance offputting, this seems a bit of a strange reaction to that."
  1367. >You fiercely shake your head.
  1368. "It's nothing to do with that at all. It's a personal issue. Don't mind me, investigator, go back to what you were doing."
  1369. >He considers you for a moment before waving the others off, though he himself remains while they trot away.
  1370. >"Sergeant, while it's not really my place to pry, if any of those personal issues have anything to do with the investigation, you are free to ask for assistance. Is it to do with Golden Hoof suspending you and your squad without pay before you arrested her? I don' think that order has any weight, and she certainly didn't formalize it in any way before you detained her. While I can't insert myself into your command structure to cancel that order, I don't think I need to."
  1371. >You laugh mirthlessly, shaking your head.
  1372. "No, no, it's nothing to do with money. I'm not rich, but I was ready to get suspended or dismissed anyway, so I obviously saved up for a while."
  1373. >"So it's absolutely nothing to do with your current situation?"
  1374. >You snort.
  1375. "No, it's to do with me being an inflexible, uncreative moron," You mutter.
  1376. >He purses his lips, his urge to remain professional clearly fighting with his urge to smack you upside the head.
  1377. >"You've shown yourself to be anything but, so where is this coming from?"
  1378. >You sigh, rubbing the side of your face.
  1379. >It's pretty clear that he's not willing to let go, so might as well stop beating around the bush.
  1380. "It's something the princess told me. We were talking, and she mentioned that I could have dropped by for an audience before all this. I could have gotten this thing rolling much earlier. I could have stopped them from abusing-"
  1381. >"Let me stop you right there," He interjects, shutting you up with his hoof on your muzzle. "What was the context for that information? Did she tell it to you as a lesson, or was it a throwaway remark during a conversation?"
  1382. >Your ears turn in several directions as you try to understand what he's asking.
  1383. "Huh? She was pretty casual when she said it, I guess..."
  1384. >"Then she wasn't criticizing or chiding you. Sergeant, what you did, you already did amazingly well. I suppose you must be a bit of a perfectionist, what with your, ahem, strict standards-"
  1385. >You can't help but snort.
  1386. >"-But, as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty... And yet, in this case, I believe your judgment is quite badly clouded. Things might seem easy and simple in hindsight, but the reason you didn't do them because they were not, in fact, easy or simple."
  1387. >You purse your lips, narrowing your eyes at him a little.
  1388. "And how is my judgment clouded?"
  1389. >"Did no one from your squad, nor you, had the idea to go to Her Highness directly?"
  1390. "Well, I mean- A couple of them dropped similar remarks, but they'd dismiss it themselves right after. The commissioner is assigned directly by her, so-"
  1391. >"So, extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof, yes?"
  1392. "Yeah..."
  1393. >"And, let's say, you went to a public court session, and convinced her of - what? It's doubtful you could convince her of Golden Hoof's corruption with nothing but your word, honest and earnest as you might be about your claims. What would you have? You'd need to talk her into sending the Royal Guard on a raid on one of those brothels, or something to that effect."
  1394. "Oh, wow. That sounds..."
  1395. >"Implausible? Not impossible, though. If you were convincing enough, she might just do it, you know. She does take these things seriously, and if you showed up with your squad and threatened to do what you did - which is just clap Golden Hoof in irons and drag her away - Her Highness might have, at the very least, given you permission to conduct a search and send a squad of guards with you. But what if you were too late? When did you even have a chance to do it? During the second time you found those ponies, after you found that stallion that got drugged, abused, and dumped in an alley?"
  1396. "Uh... Yes, I think... That was the first time we even found out the most likely thing that was happening there. It really ramped up the seriousness of the situation."
  1397. >"But they already knew you were on to them the moment you made the report, didn't they? Perhaps even earlier. And getting a spot in the queue for the public court takes time. And we've seen that they don't actually need weeks to clean up their operations - days at most, if not hours. And if you went there with the Royal Guard in tow, and found nothing but an empty building again..."
  1398. "It would have ended right there and then," You mutter. "Even if the princess wasn't mad, they'd find some excuse and discharge me immediately. I'd be laughed out of the guards, and out of Canterlot, probably."
  1399. >"Quite. It seems so easy with hindsight, with Her Highness working with you so closely - but remember, without hearing about Anonymous, she wouldn't have even found out nearly so fast. And without him, you'd still have little to no proof whatsoever, against ponies that didn't have a single stain on their records until now. Not to mention, you must have been a thorn in Golden Hoof's side for quite a while, for her to so recklessly show up in person and compromise herself. If this happened earlier, she could have been a lot more cautious. She wasn't so careless with you at first, was she?"
  1400. >You rake through your memories.
  1401. "Hmm... Not really... She didn't start commenting on me or my squad for a while at first. I'm just a sergeant, after all, and she's all the way at the top, so it'd have been weird. It wasn't until we kept harping on about the whole thing and started getting a reputation... Or getting infamous, you might say."
  1402. >"Indeed. So if you hadn't kept forcing those brothels to move - which undoubtedly annoyed her employers, whoever she was getting paid by, and, in turn, annoyed her - and if you tried to ask for help, instead of assembling your squad the moment you heard the newest location was discovered...?"
  1403. >Looking towards the floor, you grunt, mulling on his words.
  1404. "Hm. Yeah... She kept screwing with us and mocking us. It's all a big, blended-together mess in my mind now, but now that I think about it, it did go quite gradually. After a while, I guess she got so full of herself huffing her own farts that she really thought she could show up out of nowhere in person and get us to back down."
  1405. >The investigator snorts, shaking his head.
  1406. >"Huffing her... Well, that's a turn of phrase I'll have to remember. Anyway, sergeant..."
  1407. >He gently grabs you by the chin, raising your eyes towards his.
  1408. >"Everything you did, sergeant, you did to the absolute best of your abilities, working with the knowledge you had at the time. Yes, you are not clairvoyant, and you can't travel back to the past and perform a perfect do-over with no mistakes, as much as you - or a great many, many other ponies - would like to do that."
  1409. >You sniffle, trying to calm your breathing.
  1410. "I guess so."
  1411. >He shakes his head, putting his foreleg down.
  1412. >"You know so, sergeant. You did well. You won. You've just been the underdog under Golden Hoof's boot so long, it might take you a while to internalize it. Take the win. Celebrate it. Have a party. Talk to some journalists, talk yourself up, whatever makes you feel good. Write a book about this whole thing, even. I'd read it. Make some money off it. You don't have to let that crook be the only one that got something out of this whole thing."
  1413. "Huh. The princess said something similar."
  1414. >"Then perhaps you should take her advice."
  1415. >Taking a deep breath, you nod.
  1416. "Alright, alright. I was going to go out with my squad again anyway. You're clearly busy, so you can go back to work. You don't have to foalsit me. I'm a big mare, I can deal with this myself."
  1417. >"We all need a helping hoof from time to time," He shrugs. "But alright. I'll be on my way. If you can't find peace of mind, though, try finding someone to talk to, perhaps? Good evening, sergeant."
  1418. "Uh huh. Thanks," You nod with a small smile.
  1419. >You clamp down on the urge to snort as the trots away. Royal Guard elites or not, they're still stallions. Suggesting that a solution is talking about your feelings. Come on, really?
  1420. >No, you need to have a proper drink this time. Not a cider, either. Whiskey, or maybe some exotic spirit, until you're nice and sloshed. Not until you're vomiting and making an idiot out of yourself, but until your stupid brain can reset and stop beating itself up, or something.
  1421. >Beating Golden Hoof's face in would probably work too, but that's not really an option.
  1422. >Something tickles the back of your brain as you think on the other things he said, though.
  1423. >Write a book. Something about that makes you all fired up, for some strange reason.
  1424. >You glance at your book cutiemark with a confused frown.
  1425. >You did get the idea about being a guard when you were reading a book yourself...
  1426. >And you always were good at writing out very detailed reports.
  1427. >Was your special talent actually-
  1428. >You smack yourself on the side of the head before that thought can go any further.
  1429. >It's way too early to have a midlife crisis, on top of all the other manure you're dealing with.
  1430. >Right, you really need that drink, and a relaxing evening with your squad.
  1431. >Time to go.
  1432. >Fortunately, it's not hard to find your way back this time, though you do actually end up finding a servant and going to the bathroom, so you don't have to do it when you get to the pub, which would make the others question what actually happened here.
  1433. >Better to take care of things now and not make your squad suspicious in any way.
  1434. >Can't be much of a fearless leader if they find out how shaky you are right now...
  1435. >When you get to your squad, they're discussing leaving through some side exit again.
  1436. "Form up. Main gate, we're going," You drop commandingly, not slowing your trot down at all.
  1437. >They all jump in confusion, forming up beside and behind you from years of habit, only questioning you once you're out of the building.
  1438. >"What's the deal, sarge? I told you I don't want to deal with this," Stern Hoof grumbles.
  1439. "You also said that you wanted to have one drinking session without journalists. You had that," You point out.
  1440. >"I mean, technically," She says with disgust. "But that hardly was a proper-"
  1441. "Besides, you don't have to say anything," You interrupt. "Also, getting paid for your drinks is a nice prospect, isn't it?"
  1442. >"I mean - yeah? What, are you buying?" She asks, her frustration replaced by curiosity.
  1443. "Not me. Let's see if we can find some birds... Remember - on one hoof, we're public servants. The media has a right to question us. On the other hoof, we're just grunts. It's not our job to talk to them. And if they want something out of us... Well, I think we're entitled to ask for some compensation for our time."
  1444. >"Ooooooh," Several mares ooooooh as they get it.
  1445. >"Clever. That's why you're in charge," Breaker chuckles.
  1446. "Well, it's not entirely my idea. The fairy coltmother came by and whispered something in my ear," You grin, the others looking confused.
  1447. >You don't elaborate, though, glancing around as the eight of you exit the gate.
  1448. >It's already early evening, but the Sun is still up, so not too late. Five or six o' clock, you think.
  1449. >Late enough for most journalists to either go home or go quickly print up whatever they managed to scrounge up for tomorrow's articles.
  1450. >Most, save for the most dedicated, or the most desperate.
  1451. >That huge procession of guards that escorted Golden Hoof was definitely going to be all over the front pages of every paper, but given the situation, there was still a chance for more operations like that before night fell, which meant that a number of journalists were watching the gates, hoping for exactly that.
  1452. >As you keep trotting, you notice multiple heads turning towards you, analyzing your squad's synchronized, militaristic gait.
  1453. >A few cameras flash in the distance, but none approach you just yet.
  1454. >Before long, though, a pegasus flaps over, staring at your flanks with a huge smile before turning towards you.
  1455. >"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you sergeant Strict Standard of the City Guard?"
  1456. "Jackpot," You mutter to your squad. Turning to the mare, you raise your eyebrows. "Perhaps. Who's asking?"
  1457. >"Blazing Pen of Canterlot Bugle, ma'am! May I take a picture? And may I ask you a few questions? Since you're trotting free, I am assuming that you were released with no charges?"
  1458. >Well, it looks like you got lucky with the first one. Usually, most journalists just flash their cameras in your face without even asking for permission. They have the right, of course, but it's still annoying.
  1459. >You grunt, playing up your "I'm so done with this manure" image.
  1460. "You can take your photos, yes, that is your right. However, my squad and I have been through absolute Tartarus for a while now, with little to no time to ourselves, working lots of unpaid overtime to bust this thing open. I think we'd like some time to ourselves for now."
  1461. >Your squad makes similarly tired and annoyed noises, some of them clearly hamming it up. Stern Hoof's venomous glare is probably entirely honest, though.
  1462. >Well, the bait has been cast.
  1463. >Let's see if she bites.
  1464. >She nibbles on her lip, clearly debating if whatever you might tell her is actually worth paying for.
  1465. >Since you and your ponies were the ones that took down Golden Hoof personally, the answer is clearly yes.
  1466. >"W-well, ma'am, while my wage is quite humble, I could compensate you for your time. Not much, honestly, just an hour or two?"
  1467. "Hmmmm...."
  1468. >You pretend to think on it as you keep trotting.
  1469. "What's your offer? Feel like paying for my squad's drinks this evening while we regale you with the stories of our conquests?"
  1470. >She frowns, eyeing your entire squad, her eyes lingering on Brick several times longer than the others.
  1471. >"...Yeah, no. No undefined agreements. Not only is that a way to get fleeced, ponies with that option tend to drink until they get alcohol poisoning. Flat, pre-agreed amount of bits for an exclusive interview, contract lasting twenty-four hours. Sound good?"
  1472. >"Huh. Sounds very official," Warder muses.
  1473. "Verbal contracts still count and can be legally enforceable," You nod. "Amount?"
  1474. >"Two hundred bits."
  1475. "Double that."
  1476. >She purses her lips into a thin line.
  1477. >"Look, I know you're an important character in this story and all, but this is my personal money I'm gambling here with. This could be a big break for me, but it could also be a fizzle as it gets overshadowed by what Celestia's special investigators uncover. You struck it big, but you're not really a participant in that whole thing any more, are you? Soon, you'll be yesterday's news. Three hundred, take it or leave it."
  1478. >You stare her in the eyes, seeing if she'll fold. She squirms a little, but her wingbeats remain steady as she gives you a look back.
  1479. "Yeah, alright. Deal."
  1480. >"Awesome."
  1481. >She flies down lower, and you bump hooves to seal the deal.
  1482. >"So, where are we-"
  1483. >"Sergeant Strict! What can you tell us about-"
  1484. >You and several of your squaddies groan and roll their eyes as a few other journalists catch up with you, probably having seen the whole thing go down.
  1485. >They immediately start taking photos too. Annoying pests.
  1486. >As they keep yelling questions, you raise your voice, nodding towards Blazing Pen.
  1487. "Made a deal for an exclusive interview, the rest of you can buzz off until tomorrow!"
  1488. >That dampens down their enthusiasm, but only a little.
  1489. >Some of the smarter ones start pestering your squadmates.
  1490. >"Say, you didn't agree to anything, right? You can still talk, you know!" Another pegasus yells at Breaker.
  1491. >"I can, but I'm not going above my sergeant's head here. I can also blow you up for being a pain in the flank," She grins, lighting up her horn.
  1492. >"Oh my, threatening the press!" She scribbles something in her notepad as you shake your head.
  1493. "Come on, mares, have some dignity. You lost this one. Just go home," You sigh.
  1494. >Most of them do peel off, but a unicorn and a pegasus keep following you.
  1495. >"Say, how much did she pay you? Her paper is a second-rate rag, bet it wasn't even a hundred bits! I can pay you more!" The pegasus grins, wiggling her eyebrows as Blazing Pen gives her a dirty look.
  1496. "It was, and I'm not the kind of mare to go back on an agreement," You laugh.
  1497. >The unicorn, meanwhile, seems happy enough with taking a stupid amount of photos, levitating her camera all around your squad and flashing you.
  1498. >"Well, you don't mind if I listen in, then? We're on a public road-"
  1499. "For now," You roll your eyes. "And I would mind, since that would beat the point of an exclusive interview. I'm not saying anything until we get to the pub."
  1500. >Her eyes light up like Hearthswarming trees at that.
  1501. >"A pub, eh? As in a public house? Open to the public? I'll just tag along, then."
  1502. "For the love of... Mare, they're just CALLED that. They're privately-owned businesses,' You sigh, fighting the urge to stop moving just so you could facehoof.
  1503. >"And? I'll just buy myself a drink and be all quiet-like. The proprietor won't mind another customer."
  1504. "This one will," You grin as several of your squaddies chuckle. "Ever heard of The Palisade?"
  1505. >"Oooooh," Blazing Pen says quietly, grinning widely.
  1506. >"No? Sounds appropriately guard-y, I guess? And what are you smiling for?" She turns to Blazing Pen with a sour expression.
  1507. >"I'm smiling because they don't let bozos like you in there," She chuckles.
  1508. >"Me?! Why you little-"
  1509. >You watch with some amusement as the two pegasi get into a mid-air name-calling match, their muzzles practically smushed together as they somehow manage to keep flying sideways above your squad and not bump into anything.
  1510. >"Huh. They're pretty good at being aware of their surroundings," Dive Dodge grins, the others sniggering.
  1511. >It burns out without turning physical, though.
  1512. >The other pegasus remains mostly silent the rest of the way save for an occasional grumble, the unicorn still following you as well.
  1513. >Once you reach your destination, you give the two flat looks.
  1514. "This is where we part ways. I'm warning you - go away, or you will be kicked out by force."
  1515. >"I'm allowed to go wherever the public is! And some places where they aren't!" The pegasus huffs, speeding ahead of you and going inside.
  1516. >You shake your head.
  1517. "Whatever. Been a while since I saw Keg whip out Ol' Reliable."
  1518. >"Ol' Reliable?" Blazing Pen asks.
  1519. "Old, griffon-made dragon hunting crossbow the barmares here keep under the bar. Been in the family business for generations," You explain as you lead her inside.
  1520. >She furrows her brows.
  1521. >"Wait, I saw some of those things in a museum once. They're bucking massive!"
  1522. "Yeah, no kidding. That one's the smallest model, but mare, it has some heft alright," You nod with a smile.
  1523. >You quickly trot towards the bar, just as the pegasus is trying to order a cider.
  1524. >Oak Keg is eyeing her hat with the "press" written on it, though.
  1525. >"You can have your drink, but you're not allowed to bother ponies here. House rules," She points towards an old plaque.
  1526. >There's several rules, the first one being "There are no ranks here. The barmare is the only superior officer in the building, and if you piss her off, better pray to Celestia for mercy, for she will have none."
  1527. >Second one is "Civvies are allowed to come and drink. They are not allowed to prod tired guards and veterans for "cool stories" like they're throwing peanuts at chimps in a zoo."
  1528. >"Oh no, I'm just here for a drink after a long day, honest," The pegasus smiles widely.
  1529. "Liar," You drop casually as you approach. "She's here to annoy me," You tell Oak Keg with a grin.
  1530. >"I see," She mutters. "Ma'am, I am afraid I'll have to ask you to vacate the premises."
  1531. >"Hey, you can't just-"
  1532. >"I absolutely can. Usually, it's considered a bad idea for a business to turn ponies away, but it's completely and fully legal to do so," She shrugs.
  1533. >"Well, I refuse. The public has the right to know what this mare knows! What now?"
  1534. >"Well, to begin with, you're in a pub that's absolutely loaded with guards. If I need someone to evict you, I don't need to go far," She nods towards the rest of the patrons, many of which give her wide grins while smashing their hooves together.
  1535. >"Oh. Uh..."
  1536. >"But of course, I have every right to do that myself, too," She continues, leaning down and grunting with effort. "And I'm allowed - ooof, did you gain weight, you fat bastard? Well, momma does like em big - I'm allowed to deal with you myself," She sighs, plopping down a huge crossbow on the bar top.
  1537. >"What the buck?!" The pegasus shrieks, taking a few steps back. "You can't- That's not kicking me out, that'd nail me to the wall!"
  1538. >"And I'm allowed to use force if you're being uncooperative," Oak Keg grins, calmly levitating a bolt into the crossbow and slowly winding it up.
  1539. >"You bucking psycho! That's a completely disproportional response! I'll call-"
  1540. >"What, the guards on me? The guards are here, and they're all watching," She keeps grinning, hefting the crossbow and aiming it towards the pegasus.
  1541. >The patrons hoot and cheer, egging her on to take the shot.
  1542. >"You- ugh!"
  1543. >She finally gets the hint that she's not going to get anything out of this whole thing, and blasts off.
  1544. "Don't think I forgot you, though," You nod towards the quiet unicorn that was flashing you with her camera before, the mare having found a small, unoccupied table and pretending to blend in. Which she was doing very poorly. "Hey Keg, that one there as well."
  1545. >"I see her," She grunts, closing one eye and adjusting her aim.
  1546. >The mare's eyes get wide and she squeaks, her legs seemingly locking up.
  1547. >"Come on, git," Oak actually shoots the crossbow, the bolt flying across the room and embedding itself deeply into the wood of a support beam, about a hoof's length above the mare's head.
  1548. >"Eeeeeek!"
  1549. >She scrambles to her hooves, overturning the chair and galloping out.
  1550. >The patrons laugh, smacking the tables with their hooves.
  1551. >"Wooo!"
  1552. >"Nice shot!"
  1553. >"She missed, though."
  1554. >"I hit where I wanted to," Oak Keg smiles. "I thought I'd never get the chance to actually shoot the damn thing before I had to pass the place on to the rest of my kin. Now then - last one," She levitates another bolt as she aims towards Blazing Pen.
  1555. >The mare's eyes go wide as well as she raises her wings in surrender.
  1556. >"Hey, I'm with her! It's cool!"
  1557. "She's not lying. She agreed to pay me, and was polite about it," You confirm as Oak Keg turns towards you.
  1558. >"Yeah, alright," She shrugs, putting the crossbow back. "So, what will it be?"
  1559. "Before we start that, she's going to set us up with a tab," You nod towards the reporter. "Three hundred."
  1560. >"Well, look, I only have a hundred with me - I don't carry piles of gold on me when I need to fly fast, you know? I'll bring the rest tomorrow, I promise," Blazing Pen explains as she drops ten large denomination coins on the bar.
  1561. >"Fair enough. If Strict trusts you, I'll trust you," Oak Keg nods, taking the coins. "So, what's your poison?"
  1562. "Something strong this time. I bucking need to clear my head," You sigh.
  1563. >"Don't clear it too fast," Blazing Pen says.
  1564. "Yeah yeah," You laugh. "Let's get down to business."
  1565. >As you get your first rounds and find a place to sit, many heads turn curiously towards you, but you give them small shakes of your head.
  1566. >They comply, going back to their drinks.
  1567. >The third rule was that other guards weren't allowed to bother each other, either, and they knew better than to test it.
  1568. >You're not the only one with the knowledge of what happened, though, a few other guards from other precincts that you had in on your little conspiracy explaining their parts of the story quietly to small groups of curious listeners.
  1569. >Taking a sip of your whiskey, you let it burn pleasantly for a while in your mouth before swallowing, nodding towards Blazing Pen.
  1570. "Alright, so. This whole thing began with something extremely banal, actually - noise complaints..."
  1571. >It takes a little while to recount the whole thing, though not nearly as long as you thought.
  1572. >After all, journalists have quite limiting space constraints in how much they're actually able to cram into an article, so Blazing Pen was happy with the major points, without going into every little detail.
  1573. >Once she thanks you and leaves, you and the rest of your squad have a great time, laughing and drinking and getting drunk without worrying about it being too early in the day this time.
  1574. >There's the usual banter, jokes, ridiculous plans for the future, though one of them actually makes you all sober up for a bit.
  1575. >"Hey, we should... We should... Visit, hm, whatshisname, the corpse," Stern Hoof slurs a little.
  1576. >"Corpse? What corpse?" Winter Gale laughs. "You had too much, Stern."
  1577. >"Y'know, the one the doctor said didn't have magic, like a corpse, the, the stall- whatever-"
  1578. "Anonymous!" You blurt out, smacking yourself on the forehead. At your squadmate's confused looks, you raise your eyebrows. "I guess you didn't hear? Oh, that's right, one of the investigators told me - princess Celestia named him Anonymous. The guy we pulled out of that brothel. I thought about him back in the palace, but completely forgot about him again."
  1579. >"I bet he's locked down tight by the Royal guards, though," Thunder Spark points out. "And we're not friends nor relatives, what business do we actually have with him? We saved him and protected him until others that we could actually trust took him in, that's as far as our duty goes."
  1580. >"Ehhhh.... I'd like to know he's okay," Stern Shrugs, burping loudly.
  1581. "We can try visiting, but Thunder might be right. We'll see. I'd like to know he's okay myself, but us staring at him won't change anything. Hope the doctors manage to fix him," You shrug, the others letting out various noises of agreement before the conversation drifts off to other topics again.
  1582. **************
  1583.  
  1584. >Still be Strict Standard.
  1585. >It's a brand new day, though!
  1586. >You smack your lips as you slide out of bed, stretching your legs on the carpet before standing up and flexing your wings, scratching your butt with a hoof.
  1587. >Last night was...
  1588. >Pretty good.
  1589. >There's a bit of a headache, but nothing crushing.
  1590. >Remembering something, you glare from the window, scanning everything outside.
  1591. >Though you and the rest of your squad didn't have any hecklers or journalists showing up, once you all went your separate ways, things got weird.
  1592. >You could have sworn you were being watched while you were trotting home... And it didn't disappear when you took wing.
  1593. >Flying while intoxicated was never a good idea, but you didn't feel like your instincts were lying to you just then.
  1594. >You weren't sure whether the strange shadows flitting about were hidden assassins, or entirely in your imagination.
  1595. >That servant mare was right, you ARE paranoid...
  1596. >But it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you.
  1597. >You're still not sure who "they" are or if they're really out to get you, but, well.
  1598. >You doubt they're happy with you busting their operation.
  1599. >Giving one last look towards the window, you trot towards the bathroom, quickly gargling and rinsing your teeth.
  1600. >Drinking half a jug of water, you trot over to the door.
  1601. >The chair that you placed against the handle is still there, undisturbed.
  1602. >Not that it would stop a break-in, but it'd at least make noise if the lock got picked, or something.
  1603. >Oh, well... Nevermind that, then.
  1604. >Taking the chair back to the kitchen, you scan the calendar.
  1605. "Let's see here... Got locked up on Tuesday, set free on Wednesday..."
  1606. >And today was Thursday.
  1607. >You took some vacation days right before the raid, so that at least they couldn't pin dodging work on you, if things went south.
  1608. >So, you still had today and Friday off, and Saturday was a normal day off.
  1609. >You did have a weekend shift scheduled on Sunday, so that's three days free, if you're counting today.
  1610. >...If your request got approved, that is.
  1611. >You groan as you rub your forehead.
  1612. >You did drop your request out of nowhere and in a rush, citing a family emergency before galloping out without waiting to hear the answer.
  1613. >...While the rest of your squad was doing the same thing, all of you decked out in your gear, which you then took straight to the brothel raid.
  1614. >It's still not impossible that they didn't actually approve your leave... Not to mention, the City Guard might be a bit short-hoofed right now, what with the detainments, arrests, and all that stuff.
  1615. "Bleeeeeeh."
  1616. >Maybe you'll even come into work, if they ask nicely enough. Which you kind of doubt they will. Then again, you don't even know who's in charge any more. Golden Hoof is done for for sure, but you wonder how many of the officers got caught. The chain of command probably has some serious holes in it right now.
  1617. >As much as you don't want to deal with it, you feel like it's your duty to go to your precinct and check on things. Both for you and your squad.
  1618. >Speaking of them, you agreed to meet with them today, all of you agreeing to try and stick together whenever possible until this whole mess was sorted, or at least settled down a little.
  1619. >Glancing at the clock, you calculate the time.
  1620. >Breakfast, then wing it to the station, then meet in front of the hospital...
  1621. >Should be able to make it.
  1622.  
  1623. ****
  1624.  
  1625. >Flapping your wings, you bleed some speed, spreading them wide a moment later and gliding down.
  1626. >Landing on the street, you eye the central precinct, one of the four in the city.
  1627. >For a Guard station, it was fairly large. Canterlot was packed really tightly, so it had four precincts for the same amount of space where other cities would have just one, and they were pretty big, too.
  1628. >Capital, and all. Need to keep order... And make sure no one's up to anything shady.
  1629. >Shaking your head, you slowly canter towards the door.
  1630. >On one hoof, it's still hard to believe that there was such deep corruption right in the heart of Equestria... On the other hoof, why not? The exact same kinds of ponies lived in Canterlot as they did in the rest of Equestria.
  1631. >Mostly good, with a few rotten apples.
  1632. >As you open the door and go in, you scan the lobby.
  1633. >The mare maring the entrance glances at you, doing a double take once she sees who you are, taking a tiny, almost imperceptible step backwards.
  1634. >Interesting.
  1635. >Picking up the pace, you trot towards where the internal bureaucracy gets dealt with.
  1636. >The place is not exactly empty, but it definitely feels quieter. It's like the ponies are afraid to even make noise, the ones that recognize you getting a wide-eyed look and suddenly glancing away.
  1637. >It makes you chuckle under your breath. Do they think you have the power to take them away?
  1638. >Well, you did bust Golden's flank personally... Heh.
  1639. >And the princess did say that she wanted to make the corrupt ones afraid...
  1640. >For better or for worse, it seems to be working on just about every pony in the building.
  1641. >Eh. If they did nothing wrong, they'll be fine.
  1642. >Entering the office you were looking for, you knock on the door once, the somewhat overweight, graying unicorn mare snorting as she seemingly wakes up from snoozing with her eyes open while staring at some document.
  1643. "Hey, old mare," You nod towards the veteran.
  1644. >"You," She spits. "Do you know how much trouble you caused with your stunt?"
  1645. >You shrug.
  1646. "Not as much as the one that was actually sucking clits for the traffickers."
  1647. >That makes her deflate.
  1648. >"Yeah... Yeah. Can't blame ya there. Guards should have each other's backs, but..."
  1649. >But that was for cases like some scumbag that got a beatdown trying to sue for getting whooped too hard, or something. Not the stuff Golden Hoof was up to.
  1650. >She continues grumbling, rubbing her forehead.
  1651. >"Didn't see that coming, I'll admit. Been here before Golden Cunt, didn't think I'll be here once she's gone... Wait, why are you here, anyway?"
  1652. "Just wanted to make sure my leave actually got approved. I did gallop out of here before you could say anything," You shrug.
  1653. >She snorts, grinning wryly, though her grumbling doesn't stop.
  1654. >"Yeah it did, you feckless milksop. Though I was damn suspicious when the rest of your squad suddenly put in notices too, but I'm not getting paid to care. Damn reckless nutcase firecrackers... Reminds me when I was younger, heeeeeh," She wheezes, coughing and hitting her chest a few times. "Should have invited me... Wait, where's yer damned armor, you damned airhead?!" She screams suddenly, glaring at you.
  1655. >You nervously raise a leg at the shout, putting it down again.
  1656. "W-what? I got detained, the Royal Guard took everything we were-"
  1657. >"Well then get your oh-so-special-friend-of-Celestia flank to them and get the armor back, the quartermaster's yanking my tail about them!" She grumbles again.
  1658. "Hey, If I was a personal friend to Celestia, I'd have busted this open way before now," You shake your head. "And I'm sure the Royal Guard just forgot to return them, they're busy with their Special Investigation."
  1659. >"Well then, remind them-"
  1660. "Hmm, that sounds like work. Nah, I'm off duty."
  1661. >"You damned fecking-"
  1662. "I'm sure you can send some rookie to retrieve them. Got what I wanted to know, bye!" You grin as you swiftly turn around.
  1663. >The curses of the old mare echo through the corridor, though you know she doesn't mean them.
  1664. >Probably.
  1665. >Gotta love veterans, they're always a ton of fun. At least those that are fun-grumpy, not the "perpetually pissed and crapping on the new recruits" grumpy.
  1666. >Trotting through the precinct, you make your way to the exit, taking off again.
  1667. >Putting some extra magic in your wings, you blast your way towards the hospital, enjoying the simple pleasure of telling gravity to piss off for a short while.
  1668. >Once you get to the hospital, you notice that most of your squad is already there, save for a couple mares.
  1669. >Landing, you trot over, cocking your ears as Breaker and Warder explain something with dramatic gesticulations.
  1670. >"So yeah, we were a little suspicious, but I guess the princess is really looking out for us."
  1671. "Who with the what now?" You ask once you get close.
  1672. >"Oh hey sarge," Breaker and Warder say in unison. "Did you feel like you were followed last night?"
  1673. "I did, actually," You nod. "What, did you catch them?"
  1674. >"Not exactly," Breaker shakes her head.
  1675. >"Our security wards were tripped by some ponies watching us from outside," Warder adds.
  1676. >You shake your head.
  1677. "Hold up, I know you two nutjobs enchanted your place up to the nines with every defensive spell just for practice, but outside? You're not putting spells on the entire neighborhood now, are you? That can get you fines, you know..."
  1678. >Not to mention that where Warder makes shields, Breaker knows how to make booby-traps. But that could get you serious punishment, so you just keep silent about that one. On one hoof, it's illegal, but on the other one, you can't fault them for being careful right now.
  1679. >"Hey, nothing like that," Breaker frowns. "Ward here just knows some good spells."
  1680. >"Yeah, like anti-scrying ones. They also get tripped if someone tries to peep through your windows. The spell's inside, but it can tell if someone's staring from outside. So we shone a real bright light in that direction," Warder nods.
  1681. "Oh, huh. And who was it?"
  1682. >"More of those bats, apparently."
  1683. >You furrow your brows in confusion.
  1684. "We were being stalked by the ERS?"
  1685. >"Don't think it was them, sarge," She shakes her head. "They had this strange, angular armor... Never seen that pattern before."
  1686. >"Easy. We're friends. Celestia's eye is upon you. Sleep well," Breaker quotes in a faux-spooky voice.
  1687. "...Huh. I guess she has more secret agents than I knew.... Not that I actually knew anything to begin with. Well... She's certainly taking this super seriously. Cool. I think. Not sure if I feel safer, or more threatened by this information," You shake your head.
  1688. >There's a minute of silence as you and the rest of the squad processes it.
  1689. >As you're pondering it, Dive Dodge lands nearby, Thunder Spark galloping over as well.
  1690. >They get filled in as well, their reactions similar to yours.
  1691. >Unusually, it's Brick that breaks the silence.
  1692. >"Looks t'me that th' princess has this in hoof. Let's just focus on our own business."
  1693. "Yeah... Let's see how Anonymous is doing," You nod, turning towards the hospital.
  1694. >The eight of you get some curious looks, but no one bothers you as you take the stairs to the upper floors.
  1695. >It's not hard to see that Anonymous is still in the same room, two stern-looking Royal Guard stallions blocking the entire corridor to that section of the building.
  1696. >"This area is closed off, citizen," One of the mechanically announces once you get close, keeping his gaze straight. "If you're looking to visit somepony, they were moved to other rooms. Check in the reception, please."
  1697. "I'm pretty sure the one I want to visit is in there, actually, since you're guarding him. And I'm from the Guard, actually - City Guard, that is."
  1698. >That immediately gets their attention, both stallions frowning at you with furious expressions, flaring their wings as they scan your squad more closely, eyeing you up and clearly planning the fastest way to take you all down.
  1699. "Um, I was the one that pulled him out of the brothel - sergeant Strict Standard?" You grin nervously, taking a step back and showing that you're not a threat.
  1700. >"...Ah. I see."
  1701. >Their expressions turn more neutral as they carefully examine your appearance and your cutiemark.
  1702. >"What is the purpose of your visit?"
  1703. "I just..." You trail off a bit, glancing at your squad. "The girls and I wanted to know if he's alright, that's all. If that's too much of a bother, we'll leave."
  1704. >He gives you a measuring look, sharing a few glances with his partner. Biting his lip, he shuffles his wings.
  1705. >"...Perhaps," He eventually manages to say. "But I will need to clear this with the officer in charge. Remain here."
  1706. "Of course, sir," You nod.
  1707. >He swiftly turns around and trots off, his partner watching your squad closely.
  1708. >"You and your squad did well, sergeant," He speaks under his breath, so quiet that you can barely hear him.
  1709. "Huh?" You blink, not sure if you were imagining things, your squad sharing confused looks.
  1710. >He acts like he didn't say anything, though you do notice the faintest, barely perceptible upturn of his lips.
  1711. >Heh. Looks like you made some fans among the Royal Guard. You bet plenty of them would have liked to join you on your raid.
  1712. >His partner returns, giving you a nod.
  1713. >"The lieutenant gave his permission for a visit. I'm afraid that mister Anonymous is still unconscious, though."
  1714. "Oh, well... Might as well see him," You shrug. "Thank you, sir."
  1715. >"Of course, ma'am. Just doing my duty."
  1716. >As you nod to the guard and trot deeper in, you notice two more guards by the door, both of whom salute you, to your surprise, making you freeze with a foreleg in the air.
  1717. >Your ears folding in embarrassment as your squad sniggers behind you, you turn the handle, going inside.
  1718. >There's four more guards in there, and with your entire squad, there's not that much space left.
  1719. "Sorry about the fuss, gentlecolts. We'll be out of here soon," You nod to the guards.
  1720. >"Not a problem, ma'am," The lieutenant shakes his head. You're not fully sure because of the masking enchantments, but you're fairly certain it's the same one that was with you during that fateful day.
  1721. >There's still a nurse with the patient, sitting on a chair near the bed and looking at Anonymous with a sad look.
  1722. >"How is he, nurse?"
  1723. >"Not great. We're to keep watch over him 24/7, but there's little we can do," He sighs. "Doctor Swift is hoping for a breakthrough soon, though. She sent for some ponies from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns."
  1724. "Hm? That's a magical school, though, not a medical one, right?"
  1725. >At least, as far as you know.
  1726. >"It is, but she apparently thought up a clever magical solution. I don't know what exactly it's supposed to be, though."
  1727. "Alright then."
  1728. >You slowly canter over closer to the bed, examining Anonymous more closely.
  1729. >With all the excitement, you didn't actually get much chance to do it before.
  1730. >Now that you're really looking at him, his face seems oddly... Flat, compared to all the other sapient species that you know.
  1731. >They usually have beaks, muzzles, snouts...
  1732. >Not just a... Generic face. Huh.
  1733. >His skin is even more yellowish than before, and his breathing is shallow.
  1734. >Very slowly, you bend down to his odd, unclawed paws, nuzzling one of them.
  1735. "Hope the doctor's plan works. Get well soon, okay, buddy? And it's not just because you're my star witness for whatever was happening in there."
  1736. >Nothing changes, and after a few moments, you sigh, turning to your squad with a shrug.
  1737. "Doesn't look like there's much point in us hanging around."
  1738. >There's a round of muttered agreements and nods.
  1739. >Before you can turn around, though, the door opens, Swift Diagnosis cantering in, followed by several other ponies.
  1740. >"Who the Tartarus- Oh. Sergeant?" She squints, looking you up and down. "Didn't recognize you out of your armor."
  1741. "Yup, just visiting," You nod. "Don't worry, we were just about to leave."
  1742. >"That's probably for the best, given the circumstances. Any interruptions to the ritual-"
  1743. >"Shouldn't be caused by other ponies simply being there," Another old mare interrupts her. "Isn't that right, fillies? Celestia's best can work through something as simple as trivial distractions, yes?"
  1744. >"Of course, professor," A younger unicorn nods.
  1745. >You examine the unfamiliar group. All unicorns, the one that got called "professor" quite old, and three young mares with her in robes.
  1746. >Must be that Celestia's school group the nurse talked about.
  1747. "Sorry, a bit out of the loop here," You shake your head. "Should we leave?"
  1748. >"Just stand by the walls and don't touch the spell circle," The professor takes charge of the situation as Swift Diagnosis rolls her eyes.
  1749. >"This is still my hospital, you know."
  1750. >"And these are my students and my area of expertise. Now shush, and stand aside. Get to work, fillies."
  1751. >"Yes, professor."
  1752. >The students nod, levitating multiple pieces of chalk from their satchels and scribbling out a spell circle in the middle of the room, with four points, one of which the professor occupies after examining the whole thing with a critical eye.
  1753. >Anonymous's bed is wheeled over to be in the center of the thing, the students taking up the other three points.
  1754. "Sorry," You whisper to the doctor. "But what's supposed to happen here?"
  1755. >"Alchemical extraction spell," She mutters after a minute of internal debate. "You know how there's magic to extract rare, often reactive elements out of solutions for chemical use and the like?"
  1756. "Sure, I heard about them."
  1757. >"They don't work on living things, though," Breaker supplies. "Unless you, you know... Break them down first. Until they're no longer living."
  1758. >"Quite. And yet, Anonymous here is... Unique. The reason those spells don't work is because every pony has a magical field, and it just rejects the spell, They could technically work on a living pony, horrific as that would be, if the caster had enough magical power. But since he has no magic, well..."
  1759. >Winter Gale tilts her head.
  1760. "Oh. Huh. I didn't think you could just... Yank a poison out of someone with magic."
  1761. >Swift Diagnosis hums.
  1762. >"Spells like that do actually exist. Back in the old days, with all the cloak and dagger nonsense the nobles got up to, poison was one of the methods to take each other out. They worked best when cast by a unicorn on themselves, since other's magic would get rejected, and would need to brutally overpower the pony's own magic to take effect. Even when cast on themselves, though, poison purge spells were... Unpleasant."
  1763. "How unpleasant?" You ask, morbidly curious.
  1764. >This time, the nurse speaks up.
  1765. >"Everything gushing from every orifice, from what I heard."
  1766. >"Quite," Swift snorts. "Including plenty of blood. Eyes, mouth, nose... Even the pores in your skin. It'd usually save their life - usually - but leave them severely weakened. And with the spells being so brutal, and Anonymous already so weak... I thought I'd ask a professor to see if they couldn't come up with a gentler version, since there's no need to compensate for his lack of magic resistance, and the stuff killing him isn't as fast acting as the poisons used for assassinations."
  1767. "Huh. Neat," You mutter, the others nodding along.
  1768. >"We're ready to begin," The professor announces. "Any last-minute concerns?"
  1769. >"None that I'm aware of. The spell won't boil his insides or anything, will it?"
  1770. >"I'll have my student's heads if it does," The professor scoffs. "And I'll stand by to intervene if they start messing it up. Ready, fillies?"
  1771. >"Yes, professor!" The leader nods with a grin, smiling at her compatriots. "Let's get some extra credit, girls!"
  1772. >In a synchronized fashion, they light up their horns, pumping power into the spell circle.
  1773. >One of their auras is a straw yellow, almost a gold like Celestia's, while the other is a pale cyan, and the final one's a deep blue.
  1774. >As they mix, the spell circle is lit up by a rich, emerald green color, bathing the room.
  1775. >You, the guards, and the doctor with the nurse watch with bated breaths as the glow envelops Anonymous, sinking into his body.
  1776. >Ever so slowly, tiny droplets of... Something begin seeping from his skin, getting picked up by the magic and levitating into a slowly growing sphere over him.
  1777. >Swift Diagnosis whispers something to the nurse, who leaves the room.
  1778. >A few minutes later, he comes back with a trolley with a bunch of medical stuff on it, as well as a couple junior doctors.
  1779. >Meanwhile, the spell keeps progressing, the sphere having grown to about the diameter of a hoof.
  1780. >The amount and the size of the droplets get smaller and smaller, until they become so small, you can't see them with the naked eye any more.
  1781. >"I think that's more or less done," One of the students says. "Right, professor? I'm not picking up anything any more."
  1782. >"And I don't think blasting him with an overcharged spell to get the last tiny vestiges out is a good idea if he's that fragile," Another student adds.
  1783. >"Hummmm," The old mare eyes the flowing magic critically for a few seconds before nodding. "Alright. Shut it off, nice and clean."
  1784. >The hum of magic grows quieter, the aura around the spell circle dissipating.
  1785. >The sphere slowly floats lower and almost loses its cohesion, before the lead student grabs it in her aura.
  1786. >"Um-"
  1787. >"Right here," Swift Diagnosis commands, holding out a biohazard-marked bin with her magic, the student plopping the liquid inside.
  1788. >Once it's out of her magic, your nose is immediately assaulted by a strange mix of chemical, herb, and blood smells.
  1789. >You can't help but wrinkle your nose in disgust, pressing a hoof over your snout so you don't sneeze, most of your squad doing the same.
  1790. >"That's rank," Winter Gale mutters.
  1791. >Ignoring her and everyone else, Swift Diagnosis puts the bin down on the trolley, hurrying over to Anonymous, lighting up her horn and listening to his heartbeat, performing various scanning spells. A moment later, the junior doctors join her.
  1792. >"Vitals seem stable... Stabilizing, at least... Damn shame we don't know what his baseline actually is..." She mutters, opening his eyelid and shining a beam of light into his eyes.
  1793. >"I think his breathing got much better, doctor," One of the junior doctors that's wielding a stethoscope says.
  1794. >It goes on for a few minutes, the doctors eventually wheeling him back towards the wall and continuing there, while the professor commands the students to clean up the spell circle,
  1795. >"He's not going to wake up, is he?" Stern Hoof eventually asks, her voice slightly disappointed.
  1796. >"Not yet, it seems. Here's to hoping he didn't end up in a long-term coma," Swift Diagnosis sighs.
  1797. >"Um..." Breaker and Warder raise their hooves simultaneously. "Why is he... Green?"
  1798. >You blink several times, rubbing your eyes with a wing as the rest of the ponies in the room squint at the patient.
  1799. >They're not wrong. The spell bathed the entire room in a green glow, but it was over now.
  1800. >However, the same green color now persists on Anonymous' skin.
  1801. >That gets the professor's attention, the mare frowning as she trots closer, her students following nervously behind her.
  1802. >"Well now..." The old unicorn mutters, staring at Anonymous.
  1803. >"W-we did everything right, professor, I swear!" One of the student stammers nervously.
  1804. >"So it looked like to me," She nods. "This looks like some residual magic from the transmutation component of the spell, but that should get dissipated in seconds by a pony's own internal-"
  1805. >"Which he doesn't have," Swift Diagnosis interrupts. "Non-magical lifeform, remember? The whole reason why you had to do this in the first place."
  1806. >"Fascinating," The professor mutters. "Nothing like I ever saw before... Unfortunately, doctor, I don't know how to dispel this. There's plenty of spells to clear residual magic while preparing a clean area for a spell circle - and, well, they're all magical. If he's that absorbent to random bits of magic, all we'd probably end up doing is changing the color to a different one. Or maybe end up coloring him in different splotches. Perhaps if we were able to study and attempt some experiments-"
  1807. >"Not until he wakes up and gives consent, and not until he's healthy enough to do so," Swift Diagnosis immediately shuts her down. "At least this doesn't seem to be impacting his health... I think. If I find out that that's not the case, I'll call up on you again, and you can do your experiments."
  1808. >"Then we're done here," The professor nods.
  1809. >Her students give each other hoofbumps with big grins.
  1810. >"Yeah! Extra credit acquired!"
  1811. >"You still need to write this all up," The professor points out.
  1812. >"Let's get going while it's all fresh," One of them nods, pulling out a notebook and scribbling something as she turns towards the door, the others following her.
  1813. >Meanwhile, Swift Diagnosis orders her ponies around.
  1814. >"You, set up a saline drip, he lost some fluids from that spell. Nurse, clean him up. You, get this thing to the lab, and test the concentration of the drugs in it. We need all the info we can get about him, including how much he can apparently deal with. If that liquid is mostly drugs, it's several times over a lethal dose for a pony."
  1815. >"Perhaps the fact his body doesn't break down and absorb it actually lessens the effects, doctor?" One mare theorizes.
  1816. >"Probably. Anyway, keep watch for signs-"
  1817. >They keep talking medical stuff as you share some glances with your squad.
  1818. >Nothing more to do here. Guess it's time to go.
  1819. >As you turn towards the door, you hear the nurse mutter with disgust.
  1820. >"Such callous mares... I don't think they cared about his condition in the slightest. Just their extra credit."
  1821. >"Well, the stereotype of most wizards being high-functioning sociopaths is not without reason," Swift Diagnosis rolls her eyes. "Or just sociopaths."
  1822. >You snort quietly as you open the door, nodding to the guards.
  1823. >They nod back, shooting glances towards Anonymous' green form.
  1824. >It's a bit unusual, but if it doesn't hurt him...
  1825. >Well, he should be fine, right? Unless he hates the color green, or something.

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