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Misadventures of Multiboob Derpy: Season 3 Episode 1: Rainbow Dash

By Shroooomy
Created: 2024-12-07 02:27:59
Updated: 2024-12-07 02:33:00
Expiry: Never
twilight sparklediamond tiaransfwrainbow dashteatsweirdpart of a series

  1. Misadventures of Multiboob Derpy:
  2. Season 3 Episode 1: Rainbow Dash
  3.  
  4. October 28, year 3027
  5.  
  6. Rainbow Dash:
  7.  
  8. > It was a miserable quarter past five.
  9. > An exhausted Rainbow Dash seated at Twilight's kitchen table stared down a stack of pancakes topped with white foam and drizzled in chalky chocolate chips.
  10.  
  11. > Across the kitchen, Twilight Sparkle prepared the species swapping elixir which was bubbling in a black cauldron on the counter.
  12. > Dash picked at the pancakes Twilight had prepared for her.
  13.  
  14. > Dash wasn’t hungry.
  15. > Especially not for this high fat, sugary “meal.”
  16. > But Twilight was insistent she eat before undergoing the pony to zebra transformation.
  17. > Twilight believed a fully tummy would stave off any unwanted side effects from the potions numerous toxic ingredients.
  18.  
  19. > Dash trusted Twilight's knowledge regarding magic to a limited extent.
  20. > It was well known throughout Ponyville that Twilight's success rate in crafting even the most simple potion was negligible.
  21. > The last potion she had concocted was for Derpy, who requested from “Celestia’s prized pupil” a remedy for a benign case of acid reflux
  22. .
  23. > The cross-eyed mare had entered the library with mild discomfort, and had left bearing two continuously growing teats below her neck.
  24. > The state of Derpys acid reflux remains unknown, but it's assumed it went away naturally.
  25.  
  26. > Everypony in town calls what Twilight did to Derpy the “Chest Test incident.’
  27. > And this incident continues to be the reason why ponies don't about enquiring Twilight for their potion related needs anymore.
  28.  
  29. > Remembering how Twilight royally screwed up a simple heartburn potion put the blue pegasi in no mood to eat.
  30. > The thought of growing additional appendages in unusual places was not a comforting breakfast conundrum for one to have.
  31.  
  32. > Dash was also exhausted
  33. > She had spent yesterday's night and today's morning in a sleepless fit.
  34. > The mare hadn’t slept well since Filthy Rich threatened to take the apple farm.
  35. > Another appetite spoiling thought which she couldn’t dispel from her mind.
  36.  
  37. > Dash, growing Ill of the sacrine pancakes, glared across the room at Marble Pie.
  38. > She was asleep along the far corner of the library, representing more of a jiggling mass of belly fat than mare.
  39. > Dash could only stand the sight of Marble briefly.
  40. > Her convex stomach now encompassing her entirety, dwarfing her stillborn head and legs disturbed Dash.
  41.  
  42. > Rainbow Dash, in an abstract sort of way. Saw Marble as a mirror to herself.
  43. > She considered their curse of consumption and constant satisfaction to be of equal measure.
  44. > Even if it's hurting herself, and all the ponies she cared about.
  45.  
  46. > The only difference between herself and Marble, was that instead of food.
  47. > Dash overindulged in alcohol, and another, much darker behaviour.
  48. > One which, without the drink the mare could never muster the nerve to entertain.
  49.  
  50. > Dash sighed
  51. > With all these bad thoughts spinning around in her head, it wasn’t surprising she wasn’t feeling like her best self anymore.
  52. > Things were easier in the beginning.
  53. >When she first got sober, she found purpose in giving her entity to Applejack, clean living, and the pursuit of joining one of the lesser Equestrian flight teams.
  54.  
  55. > But after a year of relative quiet, the stress had returned.
  56. > And she was once again becoming more like Marble.
  57. > A ball of selfish, irresponsible consumption.
  58.  
  59. > Old habits began on a late afternoon.
  60. > About three weeks ago.
  61. > The inciting incident was sharing a cup of cider with Derpy of all Ponies.
  62. > The drink was casual, a moment between friends after a long day.
  63.  
  64. > But, casual is not in her nature, when it comes to alcohol.
  65. > And the mare's habits escalated quickly.
  66. > Cups of cider began to stack higher and higher each day.
  67. > She regularly began sneaking nightcaps of Appaloosa Homebrew whiskey whenever Applejack wasn’t looking.
  68.  
  69. > It didn’t take long before she was wandering the farm blinded by drink.
  70. > Tripping along the farm's endless perimeter fencing, staggering through unkempt orchard, and losing consciousness in the storage barn.
  71. > On especially long binges, Dash would eat nothing but the rotting apples hanging from the dying, untended apple trees.
  72. > This always ended badly for Rainbow, who would either pass out with mushy apples sliding down her throat, or would wake up violently expelling said apples over herself.
  73.  
  74. > Of course, this behaviour would never stand if Applejack wasn’t living in shambles.
  75. > Ever since Filthy Rich threatened the farm, AJ hasn’t herself.
  76. > She barely speaks, eats only on rare occasions, and hasn’t done a day's worth of work on the farm in months. (Hence the spoiled apples and unkempt farm.)
  77.  
  78. > Applejack is/was/will always be, the mare who Dash loves in their entirety.
  79. > AJ was her anchor throughout her sobriety.
  80. > And she provided Dash with employment, housing, family, and above else, an equal and undying love.
  81.  
  82. > But Rainbow couldn’t help AJ.
  83. > No rainbooms, spells or friendship magic could stop the CIA (Canterlot Investigation Agency) from conducting an investigation.
  84.  
  85.  
  86. _______________________________________
  87.  
  88. > Rainbow Dash is as pure blooded as a pegasi can be in modern Equestria.
  89. > Aside from princess Cadance, of course, who is the only remaining pure blooded Pegasi in existence.
  90. > Most Equestrian nationalist unicorn think tanks would say the extinction/banishment of pure blooded Pegasi from Equestria was for good reason.
  91. > Equestrian nationalist unicorn think tans with power believe the genocide of the pure blooded pegasi was greatest decision their councils had ever made in securing a safe Equestria.
  92.  
  93. > Pegasi have historically been the most troublesome of the pony races.
  94. > With a high enough genetic purity, a pegasi often exhibits aggression, desires for dominance over others, and impeccable physical capabilities.
  95. > Unlike earth ponies, who’s purity correlates with libido and whose peak physicality is either a pony of incredible strength (Applejack) , or a pony of greatly exaggerated sexual traits. (Pinkie Pie)
  96. > The earth ponies pose no threat to the empire.
  97.  
  98. > Rainbow Dash, while being a pony of Pegasi purity, was generally tame.
  99. > However, when Dash starts to drink heavily, she finds herself exercising this need for dominance in a peculiar way.
  100.  
  101. > Das will begin looking at ponies much younger than herself in a sexual manner.
  102. > Staring at them with inappropriate eyes.
  103. > At much younger ponies.
  104. > Ponies who, if she was even seen talking to would land her in a heap of questions.
  105. > Ponies like Scootaloo, who she had decided to council during the early months of sobriety in an attempt at “repentance.”
  106. > Rainbow Dash enjoys to stare at, when under the influence.
  107. > Ponies like Sweetie Belle.
  108. > Ponies like Silver Spoon and
  109. > Or, most dangerously.
  110. > Ponies like her marefiends sister, Applejack, who she cannot help but feel this premature attraction to an indescribable degree..
  111. > In truth, when Rainbow Dash drinks.
  112. > She fancies fillies, rather than ponies.
  113.  
  114.  
  115. > Hunched low to the ground, with a bottle in her hoof. Dash would stare across the valley from the north facing window of the barn.
  116. > Here, she would watch Apple Bloom do her daily chores.
  117. > When she was sober, staving off such thoughts was easy.
  118. > But cuddled under a heavy blanket of alcohol. her desires bubbled.
  119. > And deep within her she sought something in which she had complete, physical and emotional control.
  120. > Something she could “Impose herself upon.” In every possible aspect is exciting to Dash.
  121.  
  122.  
  123. > Of course, Dash never acted on these urges.
  124. > She had learned the hard way at Wonderbolts academy.
  125. > She didn’t like to think about those things though
  126. > Remembering what she had done, and what had happened afterwards was one of the most of rotten thoughts
  127. > The consequences for “ too great.
  128. > And the sober mind has the capacity for relentless guilt.
  129.  
  130. > This fantasy lives like shadow upon her soul.
  131. > The single indulgence she could not afford to either speak of, or act upon.
  132.  
  133. > Dash shivered.
  134. > An entity carrying a bitter cold whispered through the room.
  135. > Dash returned herself to her pancakes, feeling for her figure, which she knew was not going to agree with this high sodium, sugar filled meal lightly.
  136.  
  137. > Dash is not a superstitious mare.
  138. > But something was in the air.
  139. > Something ethereal yielding cosmic forces.
  140.  
  141. > Twilight was going to turn her into a zebra for the purposes of saving both their flanks.
  142. > Dash would have to flee Ponyville with the filly she had kidnapped.
  143. > The two of them will live among the zebras on a reservation deep inside the Everfree.
  144. > A reservation with no running water, shops, or creature comforts.
  145. > Today, a being beyond even Celestia will begin liquidating her overdue karmic debts.
  146.  
  147.  
  148. > Dash watched Twilight brew the potion as she chewed the unappetizing food into a tasteless ball of matter between her jaw.
  149.  
  150. > The longer Dash observed Twilight working on the potion, the more confused she felt.
  151.  
  152. > Rainbow considers Twilight one of the most interesting ponies she’s ever met.
  153. > But she could never themselves becoming more than friends.
  154.  
  155. > Dash holds an overall negative opinion of unicorns due to their “eccentricities.”
  156. > Unicorns, while the least fertile race, seemed to have an approach to sex which was beyond sex positive.
  157. > Their attitudes were unlike the earth ponies, who’s idea of sexual health was copious amounts of sex (Which Dash, despite being a Pegasus, related to greatly.)
  158. > Instead, unicorns integrated their sexual peculiarities into what she could only describe as a pegasi as bizarre genital centric fashion statements.
  159. > This disguted Dash deeply.
  160.  
  161. > According to Rarity, who Dash had learn all she knows of unicorn culture, many of these “decorations” compliment the unicorns particular fetish and position on the social/sexual hierarchy.
  162.  
  163. > A unicorn with a flowers decorations like gentle sex, typically a submissive.
  164. > A unicorn with
  165.  
  166. > Rarity wears a corset, which she has assured Rainbow is completely normal.
  167.  
  168. > If Rainbow were to follow this logic, she concluded that Twilight's particular fetish had something to do with needles.
  169. > Because the mares vulva was frequently embossed with various sized piercings, sewing needles and other pointed metal ornaments.
  170.  
  171. > Even Rarity found this unusual and had occasionally commented how such a fashion was clear sign of a deep seeded sexual dysfunction.
  172.  
  173. > Today, on the morning of her big transformation, Rainbow Dash was gifted by Twilight, one of the most unappealing fashions yet.
  174. > Whenever Twilight positioned herself at a certain angle, Rainbow was presented with an intimate view of the mare's exposed backside.
  175.  
  176. > Her dilated vulva blushed with irritation as her clitoris, which she had skewered with a pointed fifty five millimeter tapestry needle, throbbed angrily.
  177. > Since moving to Ponyville, It was not uncommon to see Twilight genitals bedazzled in a rotation of various pin related fashions.
  178. > Most days, she wore a colorful collection of button sized jewels.
  179. > Using a nail and clutch mechanism, she applied them along her irritated lips.
  180. > Seeing this never failed to make Dash feel ill whenever she saw them.
  181.  
  182. > Today, the self expression/mutilation was particularly off putting.
  183. > The sight of her purple pussy didn’t help Dashies already uneasy stomach.
  184. > And what had made the grotesque scene so much scene worse was Twilight's meticulous tip toeing about the room.
  185. > Occasionally, the mare would stop in her tracks and shudder.
  186. > Dash could only assume that the cause of these halt were to release sharp, pained orgasms induced by the needle's subtle movements whenever it brushed along her flanks.
  187.  
  188.  
  189. > When not in motion/not experiencing orgasm. Twilight mumbled to herself as she prepared the potion.
  190.  
  191. “Now…I just need the crystals…A couple of spider legs, sugar, Crows feet…”
  192.  
  193. > Hearing Twilight mumbling the brew's ingredients was adding to Dash’s sickness.
  194. > Dash had finally given up on eating and pushed the pancakes across the table and outside of her line of sight.
  195.  
  196. > As Dash sat at the table, sleepless and on an empty stomach, Twilight continued to mumble to herself while she puttering around the room.
  197.  
  198. “Okay…So I need…I need…I need….Crows feet…Where did I put the crows feet?”
  199.  
  200. > Dash closed her hoof around face in second-hoof embarrassment
  201.  
  202. “Twilight, think! You had to have put them somewhere! This not the time to be losing things!”
  203.  
  204. > Since the kidnapping of Diamond Tiara, the promise pen milk curse, the giant teats bestowed upon her by princess Celestia, and the “Best Pony” epidemic she’s been employed to unravel. Twilight has adopted the unflattering qualities of a college neet with high functioning autism and
  205.  
  206. > Her eyes were crusted in sleeplessness.
  207. > Bloodshot and carrying the blackest of bags.
  208. > The unicorn's stationary lifestyle, imposed by the two massive, milk swollen teats resting along either side of her had taken the unicorns already heavy frame and exaggerated it to an obscene level.
  209.  
  210. > The mare's body was constantly covered in sweat, leaving her fur stained, and always appearing sticky.
  211. > Her mane was a storm of wires which she was constantly scratching and picking at when not tapping or pacing around the room blindly.
  212. > Her hooves and legs tanned with band aids.
  213. > The mare was becoming a frightening picture of what a nervous breakdown can do to an already neurotic pony.
  214.  
  215. > Beyond physical appearance, Dash could tell that Twilight wasn’t keeping things all together between the ears either.
  216. > Attempting to be both, a positive representative for Canterlot/Celestia, and maintaining herself as her self assembled, yet off putting concept of a normal unicorn pony. A cover she’s been wearing since she arrived in Ponyville.
  217.  
  218. > But the real Twilight Sparkle is far from the mare she pretends to be.
  219. > Even when performing her facade. Under unexceptional circumstances with a full night's rest and the proper coping mechanisms in place. The exceptional purple unicorn, with above average magical abilities, wealth and intellect. Could never convince others of her “normality.” No matter how hard she tried.
  220.  
  221. > Dash was the first of her friends to notice Twilight's unraveling.
  222. > She talked to herself near constantly, and often without realizing she was speaking her thoughts aloud.
  223. > She didn’t shy away from sharing/acting upon her feelings.
  224. > The concept of self awareness and social preservation was flushed.
  225.  
  226. “Yes, so I get Dash the potion…The potion, the potion, the potion…Then I need to get Diamond out of the closet. Very important to do that…What was I getting again?”
  227.  
  228. > “Are you alright, Twilight?” Dash asked
  229.  
  230. “Oh, yes! I’m just thinking!”
  231.  
  232. > “Could you please think quieter?”
  233.  
  234. “What do you mean think quieter? How do you know what I’m even thinking!” Twilight giggled
  235.  
  236. > “You’ve been muttering to yourself since I got here.”
  237.  
  238. “No!... I haven’t!...H…Have I?”
  239.  
  240. > “Uhhhh….Yeah! And you’ve been repeating the same things for the past twenty minutes!”
  241.  
  242. > Twilight’s anxious, animated muttering peeled into a wide eyed, haunted expression.
  243. > Her face was both red with embarrassment and pale with worry.
  244.  
  245. > “Just, take a couple deep breaths.” Rainbow instructed “I’m no egghead, but you probably need to be in a clear headspace if you want to make a good potion, right? When I was in the Wonderbolts, we did these breathing exercises that are proved to reduce stress. Now I don't…”
  246.  
  247. “Yes.” Twilight interrupted “I…I’ll try to keep an eye on my…stress induced…jabbering? Or…Or at least keep it to a minimum!”
  248.  
  249. > “Thanks Twilight.”
  250.  
  251. “Of course! I…I honestly didn't even know I was doing it!”
  252.  
  253. > “It’s okay…”
  254.  
  255. “I’m probably just tired! I mean…I was only able to get about…Five? Six hours of sleep last night? You're supposed to get around eight? Correct? I’m probably just suffering a bout of narcoleptic induced psychosis! Completely benign and temporary as an upper respiratory infection or a tummy ache.”
  256.  
  257. > “Or heartburn…” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath.
  258.  
  259. > “And the stress!” Twilight whined “And the milk! And the….My Gosh! Rainbow, do you know what I JUST realized? I've been drinking nothing but Mchoofies milkshakes for the past week! Derpy has been giving them to me for free every time I go…And because it’s such a convenient distance from the library I’ve been picking up free extra large milkshakes at least three times a day….There must be like… Twenty to Thirty grams of sugar on those things, right? That's assuming they use all natural sugar and not some sort of sugar substitute like aspartame, which is known to cause increased anxiety.”
  260.  
  261. > “Twilight.”
  262.  
  263. “And…Like…I’m already predisposed to anxiety…I was given a psychological evaluation when I enrolled in Celestia's school for gifted unicorns…You know the one, you probably had to do one when you enrolled for the Wonderbolts!”
  264.  
  265. > “Breath, Twilight.”
  266.  
  267. “The nurse who reviewed my results told me that she had never seen results like mine! I…I still don't know what she meant by that…And I was never granted permission to see the review in its entirety…I was only told that I was some sort of “exceptional case.”
  268.  
  269. > Dash covered her ears
  270.  
  271. > “My anxiety is actually SO HIGH. It would've landed me in an institution not twenty five years ago…The doctor said this…Not the nurse…Did I say a nurse reviewed my psychological? Because a nurse WAS there at the time….I would never trust a nurse to review a diagnostic questionnaire …Especially that particular nurse. I know she put SOMETHING in my water when I wasn’t looking…”
  272.  
  273. > “TWILIGHT!”
  274.  
  275. > Twilight shook her head and snapped out of her trance
  276.  
  277. “Twilight! You need to relax! No offense, but your worrying is starting to make me worry! We need to be at the top of our game if we hope to pull this off.”
  278.  
  279. “Right…You’re right.” Twilight replied “S…Sorry Dash. I…I don't know what came over me.”
  280.  
  281. > “It's okay, Twilight. Just try and relax Keep all those thoughts for later, when you’re not brewing a potion that could potentially kill or contort me.”
  282.  
  283. “Yes…Sorry…It won't happen again.” Twilight nodded
  284.  
  285. > “Thank you.”
  286.  
  287. > Twilight turned away from Dash and began stirring the potion which was bubbling in a small cauldron on the counter opposite of Dash
  288.  
  289. “Twilight, you need to get it together…You’re losing your mind…So…Potion….What do I need for the potion again? Ravens feet, spider legs..Ummm…Let me see…Where were we….”
  290.  
  291. > Dash rolled her eyes and placed her forehead against the table in defeat.
  292.  
  293. “The potion…The potion…I need….What do I need again? What step was I on…Spider legs, spider legs…Hippogriff scales…Gotta check the recipe, gotta check the recipe…”
  294.  
  295. > A fact which peeves Dash greatly, is that even if Twilight had a catastrophic, breakdown like the one she just had in public, she would never experience the full social ramifications of her actions.
  296.  
  297. > Ponyville is a town where social missteps do not go unpunished.
  298. > One bad decision, a single slip up, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time irreparably damage your social reputation. Land a pony in the permanent company of the Derpys and Cloudchasers of the town.
  299.  
  300. > When she arrived in Ponyville. Twilight was immediately accepted.
  301. > And even after breaking a faux pas, Twilight Sparkle.
  302. > A clearly mentally disturbed pony with a number of unsightly eccentricities is free from scrutiny.
  303.  
  304. > This got under Rainbow's skin. Because when she returned to Ponyville after her expulsion from the Wonderbolts, and had her dramatic breakdown.
  305. > The one which landed her in an institution/rehab facility for two months.
  306.  
  307.  
  308. > It’s the opposite for Twilight.
  309. > Her peculiarities and bouts of immaturity, anxiety and instability are nothing more than silently acknowledged by the townsponies, who have somehow all agreed behind Rainbows back, using what she could only describe as a secret “psychic communication method” to interact with Twilight with the utmost delicately.
  310.  
  311. > The reasoning is plain to see.
  312. > If Twilight Sparkle wasn’t princess Celestials star pupil, she would be treated no different than didn’t Derpy or Cloudchaser.
  313.  
  314. > A couple minutes of welcomed silence passed
  315. > Twilight’s muttering slowly
  316.  
  317. > “Finish eating, Rainbow! The sun will be up soon and you need to hit the road soon if you want to reach the reservation before sundown! I assure you that you won’t want to be in Everfree at night!”
  318.  
  319. > Dash looked down at the pancakes, feeling ill
  320.  
  321. > “Why did you make them so…sugary?”
  322.  
  323. “You don’t like them? I thought you’d like them. Marble and I have these every morning!” Twilight cheered
  324.  
  325. > “I bet you do.” Dash replied, shoving the pancakes across the table
  326.  
  327. “What? You don’t like pancakes?”
  328.  
  329. > “I’m on a diet…Or at least…TRYING to stay on a diet! I’ve told you like, a hundred times! I’m applying for the Tsunderebolts!”
  330.  
  331. > Twilight thought, she looked like she was trying to remember something really important
  332.  
  333. “I think you’ve told me this…Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate dreams from reality.” Twilight admitted “Especially when you spend an entire month in the same room, and all your dreams end up taking place that exact same room…You start to get really…Confused.”
  334.  
  335. > Twilight began to feel about the air, seeming to test wether or not she was dreaming or not
  336.  
  337. > “Yeah. I get it.” Dash replied
  338. > Dash did not “get it.”
  339.  
  340. > Twilight walked towards the fridge
  341.  
  342. “So, you want to join the Tsunderebolts? Aren’t they that group of scantily dressed lesbians who act like cold and unwelcoming cunts who perform mediocre aerial maneuvers for pubescent teenagers and creepy, single stallions?”
  343.  
  344. > “I guess if that's what you could call them.” Dash grumbled
  345.  
  346. “Spike is actually big fan of them! He has a bunch of their magazines, even some of their action figures! But good luck opening the pages of those magazines!” Twilight laughed “He SAYS he reads them for the articles, but I know what he’s up to.”
  347.  
  348. > Dash sunk behind her stack of pancakes and groaned
  349.  
  350. “The Tsunderebolts seem like an odd pick for you, Dash. Not to say you wouldn’t a good fit for that sort of team…Just…You’re well above a mediocre flyer.”
  351.  
  352. > “Well, the Wonderbolts are kinda out of the question.” Dash repiled
  353.  
  354. “I know you and the Wonderbolts have something of a history.”
  355.  
  356. > “It’s beyond a simple “history”
  357.  
  358. “Honestly, You never told me what happened.”
  359.  
  360. > “Disorderly conduct. Let's leave it at that.”
  361.  
  362. “I’m sure that’s not the only reason. I once read in Spitfire’s tell all novel that when in Wonderbolt training, she was charged with flying under the influence. I’m sure whatever you did wasn’t THAT bad.”
  363.  
  364. > “It’s not something I want to talk about.”
  365.  
  366. “I just want to let you know that I’m always available to offer a helping hoof. As you probably know, I have some powerful friends in Canterlot.”
  367.  
  368. > “Thanks. But my time at Wonderbolts academy is over. I would prefer if we left things the way they are.”
  369.  
  370. > Talking about the Wonderbolts was hard for Dash
  371. > She would have loved her time to have at least started off on the right hoof, but from the very beginning things were rocky at best.
  372.  
  373. > When Dash wrote her psychological entrance exam for the Wonderbolts, the doctors in the Cloudsdale Mental Health Society who reviewed her results classified Dash as a pegasus of “suboptimal intelligence” with high levels of “General worry” and dispositions towards “impulsive behaviors.”
  374.  
  375. > These doctors, who have sworn to abide by the Cloudsdale Mental Health Directory (DMHD) Also classified Dash with a number of sexual dysfunctions. The two major discrepancies being her homosexual tendencies and her disposition towards sexual sadism.
  376.  
  377. > In all metrics, Dash would have been deemed ineligible to join the Wonderbolts if not for Pinkie, who Dash was dating at the time and had slept her way to the top of the Wonderbolts registration wing with the sole purpose of getting Dash an opportunity at the Wonderbolts academy.
  378. > Pinkie had gotten all the way to the top of the registrar's office in only three days.
  379. > Securing Dashies place in training a week before applications close.
  380.  
  381. > Dash regrets most of her time at the academy and didn’t like to dwell on her time in the Wonderbolts
  382. > She hardly ever mentions her time in the academy.
  383. > For as much fun she would love to brag about to everypony, the question of “why” she left was inevitable in every conversation.
  384.  
  385. > And Dash, for as flawed as everypony currently sees her, would not survive the scorn if the ponies knew the actual reason she was acquitted from the academy..
  386.  
  387. > “Why don’t you just tell me what else you have in the fridge.” Dash deflected “I’m sure you have something that won’t disrupt my diet!”
  388.  
  389. “Well, let’s see.” Twilight started “We have Strawberry cake, homemade brownies, chocolate chunk cookies, lime flavoured jello (the best flavoured jello), half finished Mchoofies milkshake, and three sticks of butter.”
  390.  
  391. > Dash was whiplashed
  392.  
  393. > “Don’t you have like….Any actual food?”
  394.  
  395. “I just eat whatever Pinkie drops off for us. I haven’t been out to the market months.”
  396.  
  397. > Dash sunk into her seat
  398.  
  399. > “You know what? I think I’m already full.”
  400.  
  401. “Are you sure? I would highly suggest having a full stomach before ingesting the potion.”
  402.  
  403. > Dash glanced at the fridge and noticed four glass bottles of milk sitting on the top self of the fridges door
  404.  
  405. > “Is that milk?” Dash asked
  406.  
  407. “Yes.” Twilight groaned
  408.  
  409. > Twilight then pointed to the curse along her cheek which spelled “I will only drink milk.”
  410.  
  411. > “Oh…Yeah, I forgot about that. How’s that going anyways?”
  412.  
  413. “Awful!” Twilight shot “No matter how much I drink I still hate the taste of milk.”
  414.  
  415. > “Maybe you should try somepony else's?”
  416.  
  417. “You know that's illegal! Not to mention disgusting! What kind of moral authority would I be if I started drinking other ponies milk!”
  418.  
  419. > Dash rolled her eyes
  420.  
  421. > “You know what? Forget I asked. How about we just get on with this potion already?”
  422.  
  423. > Twilight grabbed the McHoofies milkshake then slammed the fridge closed.
  424. > She then walked back to the cauldron, she added a couple more ingredients and gave it a stir as she inhaled her sugary milk based beverage through a soggy paper straw.
  425.  
  426. “Now Rainbow Dash, once the effects have been completed, I want you to take Diamond Tiara to the zebra reservation.”
  427.  
  428. > “Understood.” Dash nodded
  429.  
  430. “And I want you to stay there for a couple weeks, or until I find the appropriate time to collect you.”
  431.  
  432. > The potion began to foam, symbolizing the potions completion
  433.  
  434. > Twilight quickly collected the potion into a glass with a long spout
  435.  
  436. “Alright, Dash! Here it is!”
  437.  
  438. > Dash grabbed the bottle, she could still feel the potions warmth through the glass
  439.  
  440. > “You promise you brewed this correctly?” Dash stressed
  441.  
  442. “I assure you, I have never spent more time on a potion my entire life.”
  443.  
  444. > Dash closed her eyes and drank the potion
  445. > She hardly had the opportunity to taste it before a magical sparkling aura encompassed her form.
  446.  
  447. > The room glowed as her coat transitioned into a light gray
  448. > Black stripes curled along her body.
  449. > Her snout blackened and her wings began shriveling until falling off completely and disappearing into a puff of smoke.
  450.  
  451. > “My wings! Twilight! What's happening!?”
  452.  
  453. “Zebras don't have wings, silly! You’ll get them back when the potion wears off.”
  454.  
  455. > The transformation continued
  456. > Her dock extended
  457. > Her tummy and rear expanded
  458. > And her teats darkened
  459.  
  460. > Once the glowing stopped Twilight inspected Rainbow’s body for any remaining blue fur or strands of rainbow colored mane which the spell may have overlooked
  461.  
  462. “I can't believe it worked!” Twilight cheered
  463.  
  464. > Dash picked up a clump of ash from the floor, it was all that remained of her wings
  465. > Dash sighed and a single tear ran down her face
  466.  
  467. “It seems that the potion worked.” Twilight muttered “Except…”
  468.  
  469. > “Except what!?” Dash cried
  470.  
  471. > “Well...” Twilight walked around to Dash’s backside
  472.  
  473. > “You’ve always had four teats? R…Right?”
  474.  
  475. > “What!? Twilight what did you do!?”
  476.  
  477. > Dash extended her neck backwards and positioned her rump parallel to her head.
  478. > The zebra/mare gasped when she saw that between the narrow gap separating her teats and vagina, two bulbous black teats pushing against her flanks had moved into the vacant space.
  479.  
  480. > “What the!? Twilight! Why do I have four teats!? Do zebras have four teats!?”
  481.  
  482. “Not at all!” Twilight chuckled nervously “I…I Wonder what could have caused such a thing!”
  483.  
  484. > Rainbow tried to get a better look, looking like a puppy chasing their tail in the process.
  485.  
  486. “Maybe they grew in an attempt to replace your original teats? That would explain how stillborn they are.”
  487.  
  488. > Twilight flicked Dashie's teat
  489.  
  490. > “Great theory. But why would only my teats grow and not any other body part?”
  491.  
  492. “You’re right!” Twilight said, sounding more fascinated than concerned
  493.  
  494. > “What if they’re you’re old pegasi teats? Like…How Cadance has them? Perhaps the potion incited your ancient pegasi DNA into action!”
  495.  
  496. > Dash wasn’t listening.
  497. > She walked towards the counter and leaned her back against its large, flat surface trying to get a better view.
  498. > Unfortunately, the position of the new teats were in such an awkward location, she would have better luck getting a view of her plot hole.
  499.  
  500. > With her legs spread, she reached beyond her charcoal coloured teats and blindly clasped between legs at the pesky, billiard ball sized teats.
  501.  
  502. > Rainbows snout scrunched with annoyance as she kinesthetically studied them.
  503. > The tests lacked firmness, and had the constancy of a stress ball
  504. > The skin was leathery, and the nipples were long and thin.
  505.  
  506. > “Why do they feel like a pair of old work gloves?”
  507.  
  508. > Twilight began to think
  509.  
  510. “But it doesn't make sense! I didn't add ANY ingredients even related to any of my mammary expansion and the chances of resurfacing any ancient pegasus traits should be impossible!”
  511.  
  512. > Twilight approached the cauldron and examined the pot.
  513.  
  514. > “And the nipples.” Dash continued “They're so…long!”
  515.  
  516. > Dash stood back up
  517. > She began to wiggle her rump
  518.  
  519. > “Oh my gosh! I can feel them hitting my thighs!” She cringed
  520.  
  521. > Twilight dragged her hoof along the sides of the cauldron, then sniffed her hoof.
  522.  
  523. “Oh! I think I know what happened! There’s residue from the last potion I brewed still clinging to the bottom of the pot!”
  524.  
  525. > “Which was!?” Dash gasped
  526.  
  527. “I was trying to find a cure for Derpy's chest teat situation. But I mixed up the ingredients so I ended up tossing it!”
  528.  
  529. > Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped
  530.  
  531. > “It’s a good thing I decided not to test it myself…I..I guess?”
  532.  
  533. > “You didn’t bother to wash the cauldron!?”
  534.  
  535. “Now Dash, don’t get discouraged! I’m sure they’ll disappear in time.”
  536.  
  537. > “I’m starting to question if you're actually Celestia's student and not some batty wingnut from a land far, far away.”
  538.  
  539. > Twilight giggled, then Dash presented her rump to Twilight
  540.  
  541. > “Okay, be honest. How do they look?”
  542.  
  543. > Twilight squinted, observing her friend's butt with diligence.
  544.  
  545. “Well…They're not very big. So they probably won't affect your walking. But it seems like the nipples are angled…Backwards? How do I explain this…your teats are…Well they kinda look like two antennae poking out from between your thighs.”
  546.  
  547. > “Way to describe them in the most appealing way.” Dash mumbled
  548.  
  549. “And the nipples are SO pointy! You could poke some ponies' eyes out with those things!”
  550.  
  551. > “Okay, Twilight.”
  552.  
  553. “And they’re so dark! They look like chocolate chips!
  554. > Twilight started to laugh hysterically
  555.  
  556. > “What's so funny!?” Dash barked
  557.  
  558. “They look like chocolate Chips!” The mare said between fits of laughter
  559.  
  560. “They're chocolate chip nips!” Twilight howled
  561.  
  562. > Rainbow Dash grumbled
  563. > After about a minute of what Dash believed to be a moment of sleepless, aspartame, stress, retardation induced psychosis, Twilight's laughter petered out.
  564. > She pulled her collective belly and teat weight to the closet where she had been keeping Diamond Tiara.
  565.  
  566. “In addition to your own disguise. I’ve also made some alterations to Diamond Tiara.”
  567.  
  568. > Dash’s stomach sank
  569.  
  570. > “What did you do NOW?” Dash grumbled with worry
  571.  
  572. “Just a couple of…Improvements.”
  573.  
  574. > “Twilight. You’re really starting to scare me.”
  575.  
  576. “Oh, don’t be scared!” Twilight laughed, “I think you’ll love the new and improved….Diamond Tiara!”
  577.  
  578. > Twilight swung open the closet door, revealing Diamond Tiara, who unlike Rainbow Dash, had not undergone any magic based physical alterations.
  579. > Instead, Diamond Tiara’s strips were merely painted over her pink fur with what appeared to be spray paint.
  580.  
  581. > Her snout was painted completely black and her mane and tail were tied in pathetic braids.
  582.  
  583. > “Seriously, Twilight? You think THIS will pass to the zebras on the reservation?”
  584.  
  585. “I know what you're thinking. But I ran into a supply problem. I may have made an error in math and it turns out that I only had enough ingredients for one of you. Collecting enough for two would require me to not only collect the ingredients, but waiting for them to ferment. It would take another two weeks to make another batch. That is time we don’t have.”
  586.  
  587. > Rainbow Dash approached the filly.
  588. > She wore subtle slime, and beady eyes scampering around the room.
  589.  
  590. > “She seems…happy?” Rainbow questioned
  591.  
  592. “Of course she does! The paint job was only the aesthetic portion of the alterations.
  593.  
  594. > Rainbow Dash leaned closer to Diamond Tiara muzzle
  595. > A cracking noise behind Diamond Tiaras eyes, sounding like congested sinus popped at frequently and randomly
  596.  
  597. > “Ummm….Hello?” Dash waved
  598.  
  599. > “Hello!” The filly sang, eyes still spinning around the room
  600.  
  601. > “Are you…Okay?”
  602.  
  603. > “I’m fine.” The little pony giggled .
  604.  
  605. > Diamond Tiara placed her hoof on her forehead
  606.  
  607. > “Are you…?
  608.  
  609. > “I have a really…BAD brain freeze.”
  610.  
  611. > “Oh…Well that usually doesn't last long. You’ll probably be okay in a couple sec…”
  612.  
  613. > Suddenly a loud snap erupted from her head.
  614. > It sounded like her skull had cracked.
  615. > Following the snap, a thick stream of clumpy milk began to pour from her eyes, her ears and nostrils.
  616.  
  617. > Rainbow Dash to pounced backwards like a startled cat.
  618.  
  619. > “Ahhhh! What the heck is that!?”
  620.  
  621. > The filly, unphased as the milk ran from each of her anterior orifices giggled
  622.  
  623. > Dash immediately eyed Twilight who was smiling awkwardly, face sunburnt with guilt
  624.  
  625. > “Twilight.” Dash began
  626.  
  627. “Y..Yes?” Twilight replied nervously
  628.  
  629. > “What did you do to her?” Dash asked in an threatening tone
  630.  
  631. “It’s a long story…Well….Not so much long as…. More…Unbelievable.” Twilight stammered
  632.  
  633. > “Nothing is “unbelievable” Anymore, Twilight. Just tell me what you did.”
  634.  
  635. “Okay, hear me out.” Twilight began
  636.  
  637. “I may have accidentally replaced her brain with a Mchoofies vanilla milkshake…”
  638.  
  639. > “How the hell did you?…Wh!?....Whyy!? …Twilight!…How do you even do that!?”
  640.  
  641. > Using her magic, Twilight levitated a rolling blackboard from the opposite side of the room beside her.
  642. > The blackboard was chalked with equations and diagrams.
  643.  
  644. “You see, Rainbow. While you were out doing whatever it is you do to fill the hours of your day, I was here. Listening to her scream, and cry and whine for all hours of the day. I had to feed her, and wash her and provide her with basic living essentials. After weeks of listening to the constant screaming, I decided to put together a simple personality potion with the intention of making her less sad. I conducted what the science/ magic community call a “Chemical Induced Brain Reset Potion.” A highly experimental procedure where you attempt to manipulate a subject's personality, memories, sense of self, disposition, opinions, morality…. Basically everything!”
  645.  
  646. > Rainbow darted towards Diamond Tiara and observed the mare closer
  647. > The filly, still hemorrhaging milkshake ie: her brain from her various openings continued to smile in a disassociated manner.
  648.  
  649. > “Twilight!” Dash shouted
  650.  
  651. “Let me finish, Rainbow!” Twilight shot
  652.  
  653. > Twilight pointed to the blackboard, using her hooves to explain her thinking.
  654.  
  655. “The plan was to impose upon Diamond Tiara a positive mindset regardless of her situation. I was in the middle of the project when, without even noticing, I knocked half my milkshake into the mix!”
  656.  
  657. > Twilight pointed to a picture of a milkshake she had drawn next to a picture of a brain.
  658.  
  659. “But instead of bestowing her with a positive, more agreeable personality…”
  660.  
  661. > “You gave her the personality of a Milkshake.” Rainbow Dash interrupted
  662.  
  663. “Well…Half of one…I’m still finishing the rest.” Twilight said, picking up her milkshake and sucking on the straw.
  664.  
  665. > Diamond’s eyes glanced over Rainbow Dash
  666.  
  667. > “Who are you?” She asked in a preppy voice
  668.  
  669. > “Umm….You can call me…Bow, I guess?”
  670.  
  671. > “Nice to meet you Bow! I’m Diamond Tiara! I was born in a machine!”
  672.  
  673. > “That's nice?”
  674.  
  675. > “I guess.” The filly shrugged
  676.  
  677. > A lull fell over the room.
  678. > In the silence, Dash watched the milkshake drip from her face and onto the floor.
  679.  
  680. > “Are you….Okay?”
  681.  
  682. “I have a constant brain freeze!” The filly laughed
  683.  
  684. > Twilight walked towards Diamond Tiara and scooped some of the milkshake dripping from her upper lip and tasted it.
  685.  
  686. “Mmmm! That’s good stuff Diamond!” Twilight nodded
  687.  
  688. > Rainbow’s head shot back to Twilight
  689.  
  690. > “How do you not feel horrible about this!?”
  691.  
  692. “You may not believe me, but this is a much better alternative to what she used to be like. Before my experiment. I couldn't get a wink of sleep through her constant crying and screaming. Now, she's content. Happy. Quite literally, as the kids say “chill.”
  693.  
  694. > “You're a psycho.” Dash protested
  695.  
  696. “Listen, Rainbow. I don't think you realize the beauty of my experiment. All of the trauma we put her through, all the sadness and heartbreak this filly suffered because of YOU will be completely forgotten. It’s almost like it never even happened! I’ve given us a clean slate! Heck! I dare say that we’re back to moral neutrality! You should be thanking me!”
  697.  
  698. > “So that's why you did this! So you didn't have to feel guilty!”
  699.  
  700. “Well…”
  701.  
  702. > “Fix her.” Rainbow Dash ordered
  703.  
  704. “She’ll go back to her old self…Eventually. Once her brain gets “un-milkshaked” I can only assume that she will maintain some vague recollections of what we had put her through. My advice is to lean into “being a zebra.” With any luck, when she returns to civilization and her mind is back to being “functional” she’ll probably, with any luck legitimately believe she abducted by a zebra.”
  705.  
  706. > Dash looked to Diamond Tiara, unsure if the filly was conscious enough to understand what they were saying.
  707. > But the filly didn’t move.
  708. > She only smiled.
  709.  
  710. > “Do you think that would work?”
  711.  
  712. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t. Considering how racist the Rich family is, they’ll probably believe it without question.”
  713.  
  714. > “And what do we do then? What if they start to look for this “fillynapping zebra”
  715.  
  716. “I can't believe I’m saying this. But you're thinking too much Rainbow Dash! When this is all said and done it’s out of our hooves. WE did the best we could given the circumstances.”
  717.  
  718. > Dash looked down, feeling nothing but a sickly, twisting guilt in her stomach.
  719.  
  720. > Twilight placed her hooves along Dash's shoulder.
  721.  
  722. “Dash, I know you're conflicted, but I promise everything will all work out.”
  723.  
  724. > “You REALLY believe that, don't you?” Dash replied, now genuinely furious at the unicorn.
  725.  
  726. > “Of course! Remember, Rainbow. We’re the Elements of Harmony! The heroes of Equestria! The good guys! And there is nothing we can't do if we do it together!”
  727.  
  728. > Dash put her hoof over her aching stomach.

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