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[RGRE] Cadance, Gleaming Shield, and Anon

By Tinfoot
Created: 18th December 2020 12:55:16 AM

  1. Cadence and Gleaming Shield / Anon
  2. Original Prompt
  3. >FemShining Armor(Gleaming Shield?) and Cadence have been best friends ever since they met.
  4. >That friendship eventually turned romantic.
  5. >But since Cadence is royal, she's expected to not drop her standards to that of "A lonely common mare" and be strictly homo.
  6. >To make everything work, they need a herd.
  7. >But inviting a stallion into their relationship is asking for trouble, since all the honest ones are long since taken...
  8. >...Leaving almost nothing but gold diggers wanting to ride on royal coattails.
  9. >In a flash of remembrance, Gleaming recalls something she often forgets.
  10. >Her favorite biped drinking buddy is somehow not taken, and is practically the opposite of a gold digger.
  11. >He's just so marely and easygoing that Gleaming forgets he's a guy sometimes.
  12. >If they can work this out, then the pair of mares can be together, and pull in an easily lovable male while they're at it, forming a happy family.
  13. >All they need is a cunning plan to make him say yes...
  14. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  15. Greentext Version
  16. >Be Cadence
  17. >Princess of Love
  18. >Love-Guru Supreme
  19. >And [spoiler]She-Who-Thirsts[/spoiler]
  20. >Kind of a big deal
  21. >Be dead tired after a long day of various governmental bullshit
  22. >Also kind of a big deal
  23. >Flop down onto your bed with a [spoiler]pomf[/spoiler]
  24. >It's only like, three o'clock, but a nap can't hurt, right?
  25. >You bet Aunty Tia takes, like, tons of naps
  26. >Probably even sleeps in the throne when the nobles come around
  27. >Lucky cunt
  28. >Try to get comfortable
  29. >All you do is mess up the work somepony put into making your bed
  30. >tiredandannoyedlovehorse.scroll
  31. >Just as you were about to get up and grab a little something from the "Royal Reserve," something in the corner of your eye stops you
  32. >It's a picture of you and Gleaming Shield on your first date
  33. >You smile at the memory
  34. >For such a marely mare of maresculinity, she was quite the cute little bundle of nerves that september day
  35. >You lay back down and reminisce, a smile on your face
  36. >You had met Gleaming while you foalsat her little sister
  37. >She was quite the protective little teenage filly back then
  38. >Hardly even a mare, but she still watched you as if any moment you'd turn into a filly-eating monster
  39. >With time you earned her trust after a certain incident involving pickles, yarn, and a hoofball helmet
  40. >Eventually that trust turned into a deeper friendship than you've ever known
  41. >And in turn that friendship blossomed into something more as well
  42. >You magic over the frame and settle back in
  43. >Oh yeah, this is just what you need
  44. >So what if you look like a tuft-beard?
  45. >The only thing that matters is you, this bed, and the greatest nap known to ponykind
  46. >Which you'll be taking in three, two-
  47. >The door opens with a slam
  48. >"I swear, if I see another noble 'drop a bit' in front of me again, it'll be too soon!"
  49. >Aaaand hello Gleaming Shield and goodbye sleep, it was nice knowing you
  50. >"Candy, I don't know how you dealt with this for so long."
  51. >Your marefriend climbs onto the bed and flops down on you
  52. >Also hello hoof-in-your-spine, how do you do?
  53. >Thank you, alicorn endurance, or else that might have hurt
  54. "Well Glimmy, I had the excuse of my 'Princess Training' for the most part, so unless you spontaneously sprout some wings, I've got nothing."
  55. >She makes a noise somewhere between acknowledgment and annoyance before FINALLY noticing her hoof and repositioning
  56. >Her hooves are around your barrel
  57. >Her face is buried in the space between yours and your withers
  58. >A half-remembered lesson on pony sociology and body language springs to mind
  59. >You smile
  60. >Even now, tired as she probably is and annoyed in a way you've unfortunately become VERY familiar with, she's still your Shield
  61. >You hear her take a deep breath
  62. >[spoiler]U-unf[/spoiler]
  63. >"I'm sorry, Candy. It's just all these noble colts and their bull today."
  64. >You hum
  65. "Hmm. What happened today? Somepony 'drop a bit' again?"
  66. >She snorts into your neck
  67. >"I wish. No, some noble colt, Fancy-something or other, got it into their head that, as captain of the guard, I must have some kind of battle-fetish. So he gets it into his head that the best way to get into us was to come up and duel me 'for the honor of entrance into our most noble and royal herd.'
  68. >You can't surpress a laugh at her terrible accent
  69. "Really? Was he wearing a sun hat?"
  70. >"Nah, full plate even! It was rusted to Tartarus and he obviously had no idea what he was doing, but points on for actually doing it and not getting his sister to. Points off for, you know, actually doing it."
  71. >"We laughed him off o'course, but I still can't really believe that happened."
  72. >You lay in comfortable silence for a while
  73. >Her grip tightens
  74. >"Candy, what are we gonna do? They're just gonna keep coming and coming."
  75. >Hello elephant, how long've you been in the room?
  76. >You sigh
  77. >For these past few months, starting not long after you started dating Gleaming seriously, some nobles have been pressuring you to "stop acting like a common mare and find a stallion and form a proper herd"
  78. >While there was nothing they could do, legally anyway, there wasn't anything YOU could do to make them stop either
  79. >Personally you had no issues with bringing in a stallion
  80. >Princess of Love and all that
  81. >The problem, though, was that you weren't exactly... low profile
  82. >Princess of Love and all that
  83. >Golddiggersasfarastheeyecouldsee.tapestry
  84. >And all the honest stallions were taken
  85. >That's bad enough, but it just gets worse when you toss in the nobility and their entitelement
  86. >You were the Princess of Love, and DAMNED if you were going to end up in some loveless political marriage
  87. >You sigh
  88. >Why can't you just find a stallion that sees the mares underneath the crown and armor?
  89. >That sees the two of you as more than some meal-ticket or social ladder?
  90. >You hear a smack behind you
  91. >Oh, were you thinking out loud?
  92. >You must be more tired than you thought
  93. >Well, you're marefriend's here, your work's done [spoiler]for now[/spoiler]
  94. >Now it's just gonne be you, the bed, and some good ol' slee-
  95. >"By the Sun I'm an Idiot. I can't believe I forgot about Anon."
  96. >Damnit Gleaming
  97. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  98. >Be Anon
  99. >Manliest man in the ENTIRE WORLD [spoiler]of little horses[/spoiler]
  100. >Also be sitting in a booth at one of your preffered bars
  101. >One of your drinkin' buddies asked you to come around tonight
  102. >Even asked you to be in this booth specifically
  103. >Didn't say why, but you were never one to turn down a free drink and good company
  104. >You seemed to get the former a hell of a lot more often now than when you were on Earth, and Ol' Glim-Glam wasn't too bad for conversation either
  105. >You weren't that fond when Celestia basically told you that you were expected to pretty much be a woman here
  106. >But this whole reverse-gender-roles thing did have its perks
  107. >Speaking of...
  108. >Take a nice deep drink of the drink the latest group of "friendly" mares bought you
  109. >Fruity as hell, and weaker than hell even compared to other pony drinks
  110. >Honestly closer to a soda than anything you'd find in a bar on Earth
  111. >Even a Rum n' Coke
  112. >Oh, there they are now!
  113. >Just catch their eyes...
  114. >Fish around a little with your tongue...
  115. >Voila! You know have a roughly pea-sized crystal in your teeth and a smile on your face
  116. >All three mares' eyes widen
  117. >You thought they were big before
  118. >But now they're like Goddamn white-boards with teeny-tiny dots in the center
  119. >They run out the door as if a hungry Usain Bolt were on their heels
  120. >Always fun to call those date-rape fucks out
  121. >You used to be worried about roofies, but after a few difficult shits you realized that pony-drugs were pretty much 100% magic
  122. >And you were immune to that shit
  123. >Unfortunately, the crystals that held that magic themselves were immune to YOUR shit, too
  124. >Your stomach acids, specifically
  125. >Spit that into a mug of "ice" you brought along
  126. >Just as it passes the rim, another bit of "ice" is added to the pile
  127. >Even though she keeps saying she's nothing compared to her sister, Gleaming can make a damn fine enchantment in your opinion
  128. >"Ah, there's my favourite Alien!"
  129. >Speak of the devil and (s)he shall appear
  130. "Yo, Glim-Glam, what took you so long?"
  131. >Thescrunchening.mov
  132. >She hates that fucking name
  133. >All the more reason to use it
  134. >She hops up into seat across from you, along with a pink pegasus you don't think you've ever seen before
  135. >Kinda looks like Cadence, from what you've heard
  136. >[spoiler]Got the freaky hair, too[/spoiler]
  137. >Never actually met the pinkest little pony princess
  138. >But about 90% of what Gleaming talked about involved her
  139. >And it just got lewder the drunker your little unicorn friend got
  140. >You're pretty sure you can recite about half of the alicorn's life story, just from what Gleaming's told you
  141. >They get some drinks and settle in
  142. >"Allow me to introduce you two."
  143. >She motions to the pegasus
  144. >"Anon, this is my Marefriend Cadence."
  145. >She  motions to you
  146. >"Cadence, this is Anon."
  147. >Wait what
  148. >Look from Glim-Glam to "Cadence," then back to Glim-Glam
  149. "Gleaming, I know breakups can be hard, but you probably shouldn't date someone with the same name as your ex."
  150. >Gleaming chokes on the cider she's drinking
  151. >You turn toward "Cadence"
  152. "So, does she have a dildo to tape onto your head too?"
  153. >She goes from pink to red in about a picosecond
  154. >Gleaming sounds like she's hacking up a lung, but manages to speak
  155. >Okay, more like whisper-shout
  156. >"No, no Anon! This IS Cadence, we just have a glamour up to hide her horn while we're out!"
  157. >Oh
  158. >In retrospect, that makes a lot more sense
  159. >Quick play it off
  160. "My point still stands."
  161. >Good enough
  162. >PRINCESS Cadence looks a bit confused
  163. >Looks to her girlfriend
  164. >Gleaming looks like she's pleading for death, but nods once she notices Cadence's look
  165. >They both down their drinks in what might've been an intimidating display of fortitude if you were, like, twelve
  166. >"Anon, I- no, WE have something to talk to you about. Do you think we could head to your place for a bit?"
  167. >Okay, things just went from zero to weird in an instant
  168. >Still, she's your bro, so you could handle a bit of weird for her
  169. >You nod, they pay for their drinks, and you're sitting in your living room a few minutes later
  170. >Gleaming glances toward Cadence and takes a deep breath
  171. >She was real fidgety on the way over
  172. >Both of them were, in fact
  173. >Shit, whatever it is, it must be big
  174. >"Anon, we want to start a herd with you."
  175. >Wut?
  176. >"You know how the nobles are breathing down our necks, right? Shit, I talk your ear off about it enough."
  177. >You're still kind of in shock, but it seems Gleaming's gaining steam
  178. >"One of 'em even-"
  179. >She stops herself and shakes her head
  180. >"No, better just forget that whole... thing."
  181. >"The point is; the nobles won't stop until we bring in a colt, but we'd really rather not bring in a gold-digger or something like that."
  182. >She looks up at you with those damn big pony eyes
  183. >"And so me and Candy got to talking and, well, since you're pretty much the opposite of a gold digger,"
  184. >O shit man is she blushing?
  185. >"And you're my best friend except for Cadence, so I-I was thinking..."
  186. >She trails off, big soulful poner eyes flitting between you and Cadence
  187. >You lean back and heave as quiet a sigh as you can
  188. >Shit, this was not what you were expecting when your bro asked you to go drinking tonight
  189. >Your eyes find Cadence's
  190. >She's been really calm about this
  191. >Sure she's got a bit of a jitter, but she's a hell of a lot calmer than you'd be in her situation
  192. "And what're your thoughts on this?"
  193. >She looks a bit surprised a being adressed
  194. >She turns to Gleaming and drapes a wing over her back
  195. >"Well, I trust her, and she's had nothing but good things to say about you, before and after we thought about this."
  196. >She turns back to you
  197. >Fuck, you recognize that twinkle in her eye
  198. >That's the glimmer Celestia always had whenever she says something that made you want to strangle her
  199. >"And besides, anypony that can ruffle her feathers like that even though she doesn't have any is good in my book."
  200. >Bullet Status : Dodged
  201. [spoiler]>You weren't even in her sights[/spoiler]
  202. >Gleaming gets redder, groans, and tries to bury herself in her girlfriend's wing
  203. >At this rate you think she'll end up as pink as Cadence
  204. >"I have to admit, I really wasn't expecting that big fight I heard you had with Celestia last month to be about whether or not you could have a job."
  205. >You grimace at the memory
  206. >Despite Celestia actually being a pretty good ruler, her motherly attitude can make her act a bit... old fashioned, you suppose
  207. >You don't know if that was just how she was, if she had her eye on you or what and was "training" you, or something else entirely
  208. >But she was pretty against you getting a job
  209. >Like, REALLY against it
  210. >Wanted you to "grow out of such coltish whimsy"
  211. >Eventually it came to a head
  212. >Things were said
  213. >You packed your things and left the castle
  214. >Now you have your own place and job
  215. >And, if what your bro and her girlfriend were saying was true, you'd have a herd before long too
  216. >You chuckle
  217. >How would Celestia react when she hears that you have basically everything you could want BECAUSE of your "whimsy?"
  218. >Damn, son, you'd pay to see that
  219. >"-ay not be impressive to you, but I honestly can't think of a pony that'd turn down staying at a castle to stand on their own four hooves."
  220. >Shit, you zoned out
  221. >"And besides, with how cute you are, now I KNOW Gleaming has good taste, and didn't just get lucky with me."
  222. >Oh
  223. >Oh my
  224. -X-
  225. >You are Cadence
  226. >SMOOTHEST OPERATOR IN ALL EQUESTRIA
  227. >YEAH
  228. -X-
  229. >Be Anon
  230. >The easily flustered, apparently
  231. >Your cheeks burn with an unfamiliar heat
  232. >Turn from Cadence's winning smile to your bro
  233. >Glim-Glam is also blushing
  234. >Not much of a change, but it seems she can't handle compliments well either
  235. >Well...
  236. >You can't deny they're pretty little ponies
  237. >Nor can you deny that Gleaming's always had your back
  238. >Hell, she was the reason you HAD a job
  239. >Even if nothing "real" came out of this, you can't exactly deny your bro
  240. >You weren't around them often, but those nobles could be real bloodsuckers
  241. >You'd hate to see what'd happen if they got their fangs into the two of them
  242. >Gleaming was always so animated when she talked about Cadence
  243. >So happy
  244. >Hell, even now you can see them leaning on eachother in little ways
  245. >Gottaprotectthosesmiles.jpeg
  246. >You look between them once more
  247. >They're both hopeful, though you can see some worry in their eyes
  248. >Cadence is hiding it behind her confidence, but its still there
  249. >Shit, they're really betting on you, aren't they
  250. >Fuck, was your mouth always this dry?
  251. "Well..."
  252. >Their both perk up, just like dogs
  253. >Yourheart.gif
  254. "I can't gurantee this'll work out, but I'm willing to try."
  255. >Before you even know what the fuck, there's a white blur and your on your back on the couch
  256. >By the trouble your having breathing and the two-tone blue obscuring your vision, you suspect Gleaming has hugged you at roughly terminal velocity
  257. >She sounds like she's trying to say a million things at once
  258. >After a few false starts, she just gives up and starts rubbing her face in your chest
  259. >Cadence giggles from her seat and the marshmallow on your chest freezes
  260. >"I know he said yes Gleaming, but how about we all go on a few dates BEFORE you start Marking him."
  261. >She hops down and leans her head near Glim-Glam's ear
  262. >"Besides, I can think of a few more... fun ways to do that."
  263. >You barely heard it, but there's no questioning that she just said that
  264. >You said it once, you'll say it again
  265. "Oh my..."
  266. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  267. >Be Gleaming Shield
  268. >Getting fitted for a dress
  269. >Also probably be pink by the end of this
  270. >You don't DO dresses
  271. >But since you and Cadence have a date with Anon tonight, you have to wear one
  272. >You can handle a lot of things
  273. >Armor? Obviously, you were a guard before you were the captain
  274. >Formal dress uniform? Does the word "Captain" mean nothing to you?
  275. >But dresses?
  276. [spoiler]>Ech[/spoiler]
  277. >Shit, Cadence noticed
  278. >You know that look
  279. >She waves the tailor off for a moment
  280. >"Could we get a few minutes alone, Silk?"
  281. >The stallion looked like he wanted to argue for a moment
  282. >Steps off her little dais while magicking each little pin to stay in place once she's out off it
  283. >She is WAY too good with her magic for somepony born as a pegasus
  284. [spoiler]>And why does it turn you on so much?![/spoiler]
  285. >"What's wrong, Glimmy?"
  286. >You fight a frown back
  287. >Ever since she heard Anon's little nickname for you, she's been calling you that
  288. >It's been four WEEKS of nothing but "Glimmy" interspersed with some "Glim-Glams" from Anon whenever the three of you went on dates
  289. >At this point, you honestly wouldn't be surprised if, come Hearth's Warming, she decides to legally change your name to "Glimmy Glim-Glam"
  290. [spoiler]>They must NEVER KNOW how much  you like it
  291. >Fur's sweaty
  292. >Legs are weak, hooves are heavy
  293. >Insides fuzzy already
  294. >Mom's Hayghetti![/spoiler]
  295. >Most of those dates were casual things
  296. >A lunch here
  297. >A day just walking around one of Canterlot's parks there
  298. >Even a rainy day spent just playing board games at Anon's place
  299. >But not this one
  300. >No, despite the fact that Anon's about as coltish as your patrol spear, you have to "wine and dine him like proper mares"
  301. [spoiler]>Never mind that you were never "wined and dined," nor did the "wining and dining"
  302. >Wait, that was probably because you couldn't drink back then[/spoiler]
  303. >Thus the dress
  304. >You're about 90% certain Cadence has some kind of romance fetish that hasn't been satisfied yet
  305. >Wouldn't be surprising, really
  306. >"Don't you want to look good for tonight? Look good for me?"
  307. >Oh yeah, Cadence is still here
  308. >Damn those fluttery-eyelashes of hers!
  309. >Her look turns sly
  310. >"Don't you want to look good for Anon?"
  311. >O-oh, that's a blush, right there...
  312. >When you had started this whole herd thing, you honestly just wanted it to make the nobles FUCK OFF, as Anon would put it
  313. >That's not to say you were opposed to actually being with Anon, he was your "bro" after all, but it just wasn't your primary concern
  314. >But now...
  315. >Let's just say it didn't take long to bring some... unacknowledged feelings to the fore
  316. >Feelings you haven't felt since you realized Cadence was hot
  317. >You manage a weak nod
  318. >Damnit, you were the captain of the Royal Guard!
  319. >You were not supposed to get flustered this easily!
  320. >"And do you want to know what I think?"
  321. >Shit, when did she get so close?
  322. >She's right in your face
  323. >You can only nod
  324. >"I think it looks great on you, but it'd look even better on Anon's floor tonight."
  325. >Before you can even process what she said, she closes in with a peck on your [spoiler]snoot[/spoiler]
  326. >And just like that, she trots back to her dais and resumes the position
  327. >Like
  328. >Nothing
  329. >Even
  330. >Happened
  331. >It takes a few minutes for you figure out how to Pony again
  332. >All you can do is shake your head
  333. "Damn blue-beaning marefriends..."
  334. >When did this dress get so warm?
  335. -X-
  336. >Be Gleaming Shield again
  337. >But later
  338. >After your fitting, you had some time to relax before your date
  339. >Relax with a dear friend who's name starts with a B and rhymes with fuzz, that is
  340. [spoiler]>By the sun, you thought you stopped doing this stuff once you were in a relationship![/spoiler]
  341. >It was evening now
  342. >About seven P.M
  343. >Time to be a proper gentlemare and pick up your date with Cadence, once again under her glamour
  344. >You wanted to keep this quiet for as long as possible
  345. >Never before were you more thankful for your common coloration
  346. >And the way nobles tend to stick their noses in the air and ignore everything they aren't concerned with
  347. >That too
  348. >You got a few looks, walking into an apartment complex with such ritzy dresses on like you own the place
  349. [spoiler]>Cadence just might, what with the whole "princess" thing
  350. >Or was it just like that for Celestia?
  351. >Have to ask her that later[/spoiler]
  352. >Wonder what this "traditional human formal attire" will look like?
  353. >You find his door and knock
  354. >"Coming!"
  355. >Cadence starts to grin
  356. "No."
  357. >She starts to pout
  358. >You WILL stand strong
  359. "NO."
  360. >Her cheeks just puff out more
  361. >hecannaetakeanymore.scroll
  362. >The door opens just as you were about to give in
  363. >And just like that you love Anon forever
  364. >The motion has been put forward, seconded, held to vote, and written into the Law of Gleaming Shield
  365. >He steps out in... something
  366. >Well, it's certainly not a saddle
  367. >In fact, it sort of looks like those vest things you've seen some of the particularly pompous nobles wear
  368. >"Hey girls, you ready to go?"
  369. >Cadence says... something
  370. >You weren't paying attention, too busy trying to decipher just what your kinda-coltfriend was wearing
  371. >It was mostly black, a nice contrast with his furless body
  372. >But then there was a wide stripe of white, then a small dangling bit of red cloth in the front
  373. >Again, a nice contrast in your amateur opinion, but it was just so... unpony-like
  374. >"What's wrong, Glim-Glam? Don't like the suit?"
  375. >Shit, you were staring
  376. >Quick say something
  377. "No, it's just... weird."
  378. >BUCK
  379. >WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT
  380. >THIS IS YOUR FIRST REAL DATE WITH ANON
  381. >AND YOU SAY THAT
  382. >Anon smiles, as if you didn't just insult his clothes
  383. >"Yes, I suppose it is a bit odd compared to what you're used to."
  384. >He steps fully out into the hall, locking up before heading toward the main doors
  385. >"The tailor I had make this kept going on and on about making me a 'proper saddle' instead, but I managed to convince him otherwise."
  386. >He lets out a little laugh
  387. >"I'd like to think my piggy-back rides aren't so bad as to need padding quite yet."
  388. >Piggy-back rides?
  389. >What the buck is this colt talking about?
  390. >Before you know it, you're back out in the street
  391. >Anon looks between the two of you
  392. >"So, ladies, you said you'd surprise me tonight, so lead the way."
  393. >Cadence takes the lead and sets off down the winding streets of Canterlot toward the restaurant
  394. >You love this city, but damn could it be complicated at times
  395. >Meanwhile, you take up position at Anon's side
  396. >You can hear them talking about something, but you aren't really paying attention
  397. >Your mind wanders
  398. >Just what the buck was a piggy-back ride?
  399. >Anon said his species was related to apes, right?
  400. >Wait, no, he said he was a hominid, a highly evolved form of ape
  401. >Eh, close enough
  402. >So what would be a piggy back ride, and how would he give one?
  403. >Before you could be completely lost to your thoughts, you run into something head-first
  404. >Or rather someONE
  405. >"Woah, Gleaming, you alright? Thought we lost you there for a second."
  406. >Anon and Cadence look on, amusement and the barest glint of concern in their eyes
  407. >Before you could say or do anything, your mouth does the thing again
  408. >You know
  409. >The THING
  410. >The thing where it moves without you asking it to
  411. "Anon, what's a piggy-back ride?"
  412. >Hoof, welcome to your new home in scenic "Mouth"
  413. >Anon looks at you like you've sprouted a second head for a bit before shaking his head and laughing again
  414. [spoiler]>You're beginning to suspect he finds your slip-ups funny[/spoiler]
  415. [spoiler]>You're surprisingly OK with that[/spoiler]
  416. >His laughter eventually peters out enough for him to speak
  417. >"Whew, that threw me for a bit of a loop. Though, I suppose it makes sense you wouldn't have something like that, or at least not by the same name."
  418. >He turns around and kneels down, looking at you over his shoulder
  419. >"Here, lemme show you. Climb on up and set your forehooves up here,"
  420. >He pats his shoulders
  421. >"And I'll hold your hindlegs."
  422. >Hold your hindlegs?
  423. >Wha...?
  424. >You look to Cadence, but for once she actually looks as confused as you
  425. >You look back to Anon, hoping for an explanation
  426. >But all you get is an eyefull of just how earnest he looked
  427. >"Come on, I won't let you fall."
  428. >Shit, why'd he have to say it like that...
  429. >Before you know it, you're placing your hooves on his shoulders
  430. >Sun, you feel so weird doing this
  431. >You just KNOW you look like a colt mounting something
  432. >Now, what are you supposed to do with your hindlegs again?
  433. >Before you can ask, you feel a pair of hands clasp onto you just under your flank
  434. >You wrap your hooves around Anon's neck just in time to see the ground get a LOT further away
  435. >Holyshitnomakeitstop.carving
  436. >You reflexively kick, but your hooves catch nothing but air
  437. >You pull closer to Anon, forgetting that your hooves were around his neck
  438. >You were a unicorn, mare, not a pegasus!
  439. >You weren't meant to be this high up!
  440. >"Gleaming, it's ok. You'll be fine, I won't let you fall."
  441. >Eventually you noticed you were not, in fact, a splatter on the recently estranged ground
  442. >You open your eyes and, Tartarus, you were even still alive!
  443. >You look around, finally not acting like a totally reasonable guardsmare thrust into an unfamiliar situation without notice
  444. [spoiler]>Yup, going with that
  445. >Totally wasn't acting like a scared little filly at all[/spoiler]
  446. "Woah..."
  447. >Was this what it's like to be Celestia?
  448. >Wait, Anon was taller than Celestia
  449. >DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE TALLER THAN CELESTIA?!
  450. >You feel something grow in the pit of your stomach
  451. >You know this feeling
  452. >You haven't felt this feeling since you really realized Cadence had said 'yes' when you asked her on a date for the first time, and before that when you got your first practice spear for hearth's warming years ago
  453. >You LIKE this feeling
  454. >"Well, seems someone's enjoying her ride."
  455. >You hear Cadence huff, but you don't care
  456. >You were too busy taking in being the TALLEST FATHERBUCKER IN EQUESTRIA
  457. >"She better, because of her little panic attack, we don't have much time before we lose our reservations."
  458. >The world shifts, and you start bouncing in place
  459. >Anon must be moving
  460. >"You lead I follow, Cadence."
  461. >The world passes in a mix of pretty lights and clip-clops
  462. >Was this what drugs were like?
  463. >Far too soon, you found yourself on your hooves again, trying to remember how to Pony for the second time in a day in front of the restaurant
  464. >Maybe you should see a doctor about that
  465. >Pushing the thought aside, you follow your dates to the building
  466. >A mare dressed in her own, much more functional dress awaits behind one of those... tall not-desks on a little patio outside the restaurant proper
  467. >Buck, where was Twily when you needed her?
  468. >Probably forgetting to eat after her lates book-binge hit hour four, you realize
  469. >Little sister or not, that mare needed to get OUT sometime
  470. >But still
  471. >She'd know what the buck that thing was called
  472. >The mare looks up at you and smiles
  473. >"Hi! Welcome to the Safari Sampler's, how can I help you tonight?"
  474. >You blink
  475. >Wow, a pony in customer service that actually likes her job?
  476. >In CANTERLOT?
  477. >Just... wow
  478. >You weren't expecting that tonight
  479. >Cadance steps forward and takes the lead
  480. >"Yes, uh, we should a reservation here for three? Under "Dented Hoplon?"
  481. >As the mare looks in her little book-of-names, you grumble a little under your breath
  482. >Why's it always gotta be YOUR name that gets mangled whenever you wanna go out?
  483. >Oh, right
  484. >Cadance was a princess-and-household-name-in-training, and Anon was literally an alien
  485. >You're the closest to "normal" out of the three of you
  486. >Sometimes you wonder when your life became one of those animares you TOTALLY DON'T WATCH, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?
  487. >Out of the corner of your eye you see the mare nod, and you realize its time to start being a normal pony again and stop screaming at yourself in your head
  488. [spoiler]>Normal ponies don't do that, right?
  489. >Right?[/spoiler]
  490. >In a few minutes you're inside and seated
  491. >As the unicorn waiter sets down your menus, you can't help but feel jittery
  492. >This felt like a stroke of genius when you thought it up
  493. >You really hope this goes as well as you think it will
  494. >Anon picks up his menu and barely glances at it before his eyes go wide
  495. >He looks from the menu, to you and Cadence, to the menu again, before "settling" on flicking between you two
  496. >"I-is this what I think it is?"
  497. >YES
  498. >HE LIKED IT
  499. >Cadence's smile is a bit more restrained and dignified than yours, but you can tell she's just as happy it worked
  500. >"Yes, it is, Anon."
  501. >A wing wraps around you and pulls you to your marefriend
  502. >"One of Glimmy here's guards has a Griffin partner, and according to her this place has the best griffin food in all of Canterlot."
  503. >"I even heard it has a few special options for ponies wanting to live on the 'wild side' for a night."
  504. >She laughs and pulls you closer
  505. >"With all these good ideas she's been having lately, sometimes I wonder which one of us should be the princess."
  506. >She plants a little kiss on your cheek and winks
  507. >"She's certainly pretty enough for it."
  508. >Dontblushdontblushdontblush
  509. >Please just let you have this
  510. >Please let you look like a resourceful and respectable mare for ONCE in front of Anon
  511. >Just ONCE
  512. [spoiler]>Aaaand there's the blush
  513. >BUCK[/spoiler]
  514. >One of these days, Cadence
  515. >ONE OF THESE DAYS
  516. >ONE OF THESE DAYS, SHE WILL BE THE BLUSHING LITTLE FILLY
  517. >NOT YOU
  518. >"Thank you, Gleaming. You have NO idea how long it's been since I've had a good steak dinner."
  519. >He reaches over and gives you a few good [spoiler]ear scratches
  520. >O-oh yeah, that's the stuff...[/spoiler]
  521. >After that, dinner went well
  522. >You ate, you drank,  and you were merry
  523. >You even tried a tofu-steak!
  524. >But now the food was eaten and things were winding down
  525. >Cadence and Anon were talking while you looked at a desert menu
  526. >Would Anon mind if you got a desert to take home?
  527. >You and Cadence were paying, of course, but this was a date
  528. [spoiler]>A date you were hoping to get lucky on[/spoiler]
  529. >Y-yeah, he should be fine with it
  530. >He's chill like that
  531. >Now, what was that chocolate thing called
  532. >Ah, there it is-
  533. >"Captain Shield? Captain, is that you?"
  534. >HOLYSHITWHAT
  535. >You totally did NOT jump about a foot in the air
  536. >You swing your head around, trying to find who did NOT just about give you a heart attack
  537. >Your heart very nearly does stop when you find just who it was
  538. >Stormy Gale, the very same guard who told you about this place, was heading toward you from across the restaurant, griffin coltfriend in tow
  539. [spoiler]>Or was it tomfriend? You never could figure that out[/spoiler]
  540. >And by the Sun, was she MAKING A SCENE
  541. >You try to silently scream at her to stop with your hooves, but she just KEPT COMING
  542. >She wasn't even half-way to you, but you could already see the other patrons glancing your way and muttering to themselves
  543. >Common colors and cutie-mark obscuring dress aside, you were still well known
  544. >And you could see the dots connecting in their heads
  545. >Buck desert, you need to get out of here
  546. >You manage to wave down a waiter
  547. >You get up, teleport a hundred-bit coin onto the table
  548. >The meals were only about fifty bits all together, but time was of the essence
  549. "Lovely service, thanks for the food, will be sure to tell all my friends, BYE!"
  550. >Forgetting about the shell-shocked waiter, you try to push a confused Anon toward the door
  551. >Cadence was already up, trying to clear a path ahead through the suddenly-crowded restaurant
  552. >Comeoncomeoncomeon!
  553. >Before you knew it, the LAST pegasus you wanted to see was right in front of you
  554. >AND SHE WAS BLOCKING THE EXIT
  555. >"Captain Shield, what are you doing here? I didn't know you liked griffin food!"
  556. >She looks between Anon and the still-glamoured Cadence
  557. >She scrunches
  558. >"Who are these two? I thought you were herding with Princess Cadenza?"
  559. >She looks between the three of you, STILL BLOCKING THE DOOR, before her eyes widen and she gasps
  560. >"Did you break up?! Ohmigawsh, Captain, I'm so sorry for you!"
  561. >She gets right up next to you-
  562. >ESCAPE!
  563. >And slips a wing around you in "support," trapping you next to her
  564. >BUCK!
  565. >"Don't you worry about a thing, Captain! Me and the troops have your back!"
  566. >"Just you wait 'till I tell Morning Star, she'll set you up with-"
  567. >You stopped listening
  568. >By the Sun, you DID NOT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW
  569. >YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET LUCKY TONIGHT
  570. >A snarl shoves its way out of your throat
  571. "Corporal Gale, I swear by the SUN, if you don't let me go RIGHT NOW, you will be following the maids around until YOUR GRANDFOALS CAN ENLIST!"
  572. >That gave her pause
  573. >Along with giving you a chance to escape
  574. >Thankfully, you manage to get out from under the mare's wings
  575. >Cadence and Anon watch you with concern from the door
  576. >You don't even look at them as you exit the now-quiet restaurant
  577. >They don't say anything, but stay close while you trudge down the street
  578. >You were lucky that place wasn't popular among the nobles, but it was still high class
  579. >Some say the unicorns of Canterlot gossiped before they learned to speak
  580. >Ponies will be talking sooner or later
  581. >Sun, why did she have to say... Tartarus, all of THAT?
  582. >You only manage to trot a few blocks before whatever was fueling you peters out
  583. >You sit down on your haunches at a corner and sigh
  584. >You look between the two of them
  585. >The concern in their eyes
  586. "I'm sorry about that, its just the night was going so well, then she shows up and makes that scene, and now ponies will be talking and thinking Cadence and I broke up-"
  587. >Oh, you think you're rambling
  588. "And now they're gonna be after us even MORE now, and only the Sun knows what they might do to you, Anon."
  589. >Yeah, you're rambling
  590. >Damn, you loved your family, but why did THAT have to come with it?
  591. >Thankfully before you could continue digging your little pit deeper, you feel a pair of arms wrap around you, and wings on top of that
  592. >"It's okay, Gleaming. It's okay."
  593. >He gently pets your mane, voice soft
  594. >Your eyes began to sting
  595. >No
  596. >No, you WEREN'T going to cry, damnit!
  597. >You manage to blink away the tears, only a few getting out and playing Tartarus with your makeup
  598. "But the nobles-"
  599. >This time Cadence chimes in, making gentle shushing noises as she nuzzles your cheek
  600. >"Let them think what they think. They'll be wrong, and whatever they do will be wasted effort, just like it already is."
  601. >She pulls back and looks up at Anon and smiles
  602. >"And besides, you don't think we were going to date Anon in secret FOREVER, do you?"
  603. >She shakes her head
  604. >"This came a bit quicker than I expected, but we were ALWAYS going to be public with our relationship with Anon eventually, Gleaming."
  605. >She looks between the two of you, and smiles even brighter
  606. >Knowing her, she's probably thinking of your wedding day, or when your first foals are going to be born, or something like that
  607. >"All we need is the perfect opportunity to announce us."
  608. >Us
  609. >For some reason, just thinking that word makes you happy
  610. >Hearing it makes you smile
  611. >Makes Anon smile, too, it seems
  612. >Cadence leans back and gently boops you on the nose with her hoof
  613. >"And you just leave that to me, little missy. Soon as we're back home, you are going to bed, you hear?"
  614. >You grumble, but can't deny that the dinner and the... incident after has left you feeling drained
  615. >You nod, and she pats you on the head
  616. >"Good. Now, in the meantime, how about we walk our date home, Glimmy?"
  617. >All you can do is nod.
  618. >The rest of the walk back to Anon's is spent in comfortable silence
  619. >Before you know it, you're at his door once again.
  620. >Earlier tonight you'd been expecting to be walking through that door and into the next stage of your relationship with the alien stallion
  621. >But right now you can't think of anything you'd want more than the hug and kiss he gave each of you
  622. >You walk back to the castle with Cadence
  623. >You didn't get lucky
  624. >Your makeup is probably ruined
  625. >Your dress is probably ruffled in ways that would probably have the royal dressmaker burn it to "put it out of its misery"
  626. >And to top it all off, the nobility would be on your flank the moment Gale talks to practically anypony
  627. >But right now you just don't care
  628. >Everything seems brighter
  629. >From the street lights to the stars
  630. >Even the Mare in the Moon seems to be beaming tonight
  631. >And you can't help but join her
  632. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  633. >Be Cadence
  634. >Also, apparently have a second Aunt now?
  635. >But most importantly, be dead tired
  636. >Again
  637. [spoiler]>You're starting to suspect there's some kind of pattern to it all[/spoiler]
  638. >Once again you plop down in your bed next to a still-asleep Gleaming
  639. >Traitor
  640. >But instead of it being at three o'clock after a tedious day's work, it was about five o'clock in the MORNING after a long night of talking with your new(?) Aunt
  641. >Apparently yesterday somepony managed to complete some ancient prophecy to purge an alicorn of some kind of corruption
  642. >That alicorn just so happened to be Aunt Celestia's sister, and thus your new kind-of-aunt
  643. >But one question kept bugging you
  644. >Why the buck was she so small if she's supposed to be only a few years younger than Aunt Celestia?
  645. >She was only a little bigger than Twily was when you foalsat her, and she was just seven then!
  646. >The mind boggling difference in sizes aside, Aunt Luna's just so... disconnected from pretty much everything from the last millenia
  647. >Though that was a bit of a given, considering she was apparently on the moon for that millenia
  648. >Turns out SHE was the Mare in the Moon after all
  649. >You can already hear Gleaming's dad throwing a fit, along with anypony with even a passing interest in the night sky
  650. >What WASN'T a given though, was Aunt Celestia's odd... eagerness?
  651. >She REALLY wanted the two of you to get along
  652. >You could get that, but somewhere along the way, it became less "wanting my family to get along," and more some kind of... platonic matchmaking
  653. >At least, you sincerely hope it was platonic
  654. >You're quite content with Gleaming and Anon, thank you very much
  655. >You're not even going to touch the "related-but-not-really" thing
  656. >There was only so much one mare could take
  657. >You snuggle up to your snoozing marefriend and just decompress
  658. >Both of you will have to be up in a few hours, but you just don't care
  659. >Right now, its just you and your marefriend
  660. >Said marefriend mumbles a bit in her sleep, and shuffles closer to you
  661. >You smile
  662. >She always was a cuddler
  663. >Anon is too, if the night-before-last and yesterday-turned-night were anything to go by
  664. >That was one positive of all this
  665. >You got to spend all night and day with your herd
  666. >Your smile widens just that bit more at the thought
  667. >You haven't done anything sexual with Anon yet, but thankfully that did not preclude a nice night of snuggling
  668. >The more you think about him, the more you miss your big apelien coltfriend
  669. >Or "boyfriend," as the term from his home is
  670. >You'll have to visit him tomorrow
  671. >Maybe even ask him to come with you and Gleaming for that big formal "Welcome back to Equestria, Luna" party/feast/thing Aunt Celestia has planned in a few days
  672. >Gonna be lots of nobles there, cozying up to the "new" princess, and you could use the support
  673. >Especially with the rumors spawned from last week's date
  674. >Wait
  675. >Your smile widens into a big, toothy grin
  676. >This might be just the opportunity you were looking for...
  677. -X-
  678. >Still be Cadence
  679. >Headin' downtown to find yo' stallion
  680. [spoiler]>Note to self: Never do a south Detrot accent again, Cadence
  681. >NEVER[/spoiler]
  682. >Once again under a glamour
  683. >Slightly edited, this time
  684. >You huff as you remember some of the things you heard after your semi-aborted dinner date last week
  685. >You were not "some random pegasus mare!"
  686. >What did they think you were, some changeling slapping a disguise on for a quick lay?
  687. >That was YOU before you grew a horn!
  688. >You'd think you were at least important enough for ponies to wonder what you looked like before you ascended
  689. >But nooo, you were a random pegasus
  690. >So you took their opinions to heart, and slapped some random colors on your glamour today
  691. >And in your honest opinion, you've never seen a single more clashing, eye-watering pony than the one you saw in the mirror before you left
  692. >Perfect
  693. >In just a few minutes, you're entering Anon's building again
  694. >Though now you notice a few looks you've been getting
  695. >Looks besides barely-hidden existential disgust from your colors
  696. >No, these were the looks of curiosity
  697. >Of confusion
  698. >Of, dare you say it, scandalization!
  699. >And even looks of envy on a couple stallions you'd passed
  700. >Confused envy, but envy all the same
  701. >These were the looks of ponies just a hair's breadth away from gossiping
  702. >But why were they throwing these looks your way?
  703. >Oh yeah, with this, it looks like Anon's been visited by three different mares in the last month or so
  704. >One of whom was the captain of the guard
  705. >Your heart aches at the thought of what this must be doing to your stallion's reputation
  706. >He may be pretty much a mare at heart, but you wouldn't wish what some ponies said on anypony
  707. >Soon enough, you're in front of Anon's door
  708. >You knock
  709. "Anon? It's me. Can I come in?"
  710. >Your voice is one of the few things you didn't change with this glamour
  711. >Had to get in somehow
  712. >Barely a minute later, Anon opens the door
  713. >And very nearly slams it shut again when he sees you
  714. >He peeks around the mostly-closed door, brown knitting in confusion and probably pain
  715. >Wow, he looks just like how you feel when you have to go to the bathroom at night and turn the light on too quick
  716. >"...Candy? Is that you?"
  717. >You nod, then slap on a sheepish smile when his face twitches more
  718. >Probably from your just-as-terrible mane being in motion
  719. "It's me, Anon. Mind if I come in, so I can 'slip out' of this?"
  720. >Maybe he wasn't as mare-like as you thought...
  721. [spoiler]>Oh, who were you kidding?
  722. >You made this thing as terrible as you could[/spoiler]
  723. >He nods and motions you in
  724. >"Damn, Candy, you look like a bag of skittles with all the good ones taken out."
  725. >Nope, there's the bluntness
  726. >You drop the glamour, and hop up onto Anon's couch
  727. >He sits down next to you and pulls you close
  728. >"So, what brings you here today, Candy? Other than assaulting my eyes with malicious intent."
  729. >You wriggle closer into the embrace, and he holds you tighter
  730. >That's a good colt...
  731. "Well, you know how the night lasted extra-long last time me and Gleaming were here?"
  732. >He nods
  733. "Apparently, my Aunt was the cause of that. Not Celestia."
  734. >You feel him shift
  735. >"Oh, you had another Aunt? I didn't know that."
  736. >Aw, he was concerned about upsetting you
  737. >You chuckle to yourself a little
  738. "Neither did I, seeing as she was on the moon for the last thousand-odd years."
  739. >Some say they can feel when other ponies stare at them from behind
  740. >But you can feel Anon's eyebrow rising like the SUN
  741. "She's Aunt Celestia's sister, so she's an alicorn too. Anyway, there's going to be this big welcome-back party up at the castle in a few days."
  742. >You wave a hoof in the air
  743. "There'll be food, drinks, a millenia-displaced princess, and nobles galore all the way into the night. It'll be..."
  744. >"Paradise?"
  745. >You laugh
  746. "Yeah, paradise."
  747. >You look up at him
  748. "So, you want to go? Gleaming and I will be there, and I figure this might be just what we need to announce us."
  749. >Alright, proposal's all laid out
  750. >Now all that's left is to turn the "pleading face" up to about twenty percent
  751. >He hums and looks away
  752. >"Well..."
  753. >Thirty percent
  754. >"I'm not really all that fond of parties, Candy..."
  755. >FORTY!
  756. >"But for you and Glim-Glam, I suppose I could."
  757. >YES
  758. >He pulls you close, trapping your wings between your back and his stomach
  759. >You can feel a laugh rumble out of him
  760. >"And after all the crap they put you two through, I can't wait to see all those nobles' faces once we break the news."
  761. >You smile, nice and wide
  762. >You knew there was a reason you loved this colt
  763. -X-
  764. >Stil be Cadence
  765. >What, were you expecting something different?
  766. >You're gonna be you for a while
  767. >The night of the party has arrived
  768. >Anon had arrived earlier
  769. >Normally that would've stirred the hornet's nest something fierce, but with all the nobles and dignitaries from other lands visiting, even your local apelien could slip in largely unnoticed
  770. >Pretty sure Gleaming said something about "failing a perception check"
  771. >You're all gussied up and ready
  772. >Gleaming was in a dress uniform
  773. >Anon was in his "suit" again
  774. >And you were just in your regalia
  775. >princessprivelageop.parchment
  776. >Now all that's left is to wait to be called down...
  777. >A knock resounds from your door
  778. >"Princess Cadenza? Princess Celestia requests your presence for the night's festivities."
  779. >And there it is
  780. >Your herd forms up with you at the head, and you all head out
  781. >It feels weird, not being by Anon's side, with Gleaming at the other
  782. >You know for a fact he's only a few hooves behind you, but it still feels...
  783. >Exposed?
  784. >Yeah, let's go with exposed
  785. >You didn't like it
  786. >But you were all here to send a message, so a message you shall send
  787. >A short eternity of staring-but-not and muttered questions later, you were in the great hall
  788. >Normally it was only used for the Grand Galloping Gala, or the rare marriage amongst the higher nobility, but now it was packed
  789. >A buffet filled with foods most ponies can't even pronounce lined one wall
  790. >A stage and band already playing on it lined another
  791. >And on the far wall were three thrones on a raised platform
  792. >One held Celestia, picture perfect smile already in place as she talks to some griffin
  793. >The one to her right held a little blue filly, mane full of stars and looking caught between happiness at being the center of attention, and grouchy at being so small
  794. >And the one on Celestia's left...
  795. >Buuuuck...
  796. >You could've sworn you told the servants to get a minotaur chair for Anon
  797. >You know there're some in the castle
  798. >Buck, you could SEE some in the hall already!
  799. >But instead of a throne, a chair, and a cushion, there was just a throne and two cushions
  800. >Small cushions, too
  801. >Too late now, people were already looking at you
  802. >Can't just duck out to grab a chair for your coltfriend
  803. >Time to mare up, Cadence
  804. >Mare up and walk
  805. >You step out and the crowds part
  806. >As you near the thrones, Aunt Celestia looks up from her conversation
  807. >Her eyes widen when she sees Anon
  808. >Oh yeah, you forgot they weren't exactly friends at the moment...
  809. >She looks like she wants to say something, but just nods at you
  810. >You turn to your throne
  811. >Now, how to deal with this "no-chair" thing...
  812. >You're still not sure how Anon manages to stand on only two legs
  813. >Standing on them all night, though?
  814. >That can't be comfortable
  815. >"Psst, Cadence."
  816. >You angle flick an ear back towards your coltfriend
  817. "Yeah, Anon?"
  818. >"You said we were here to send a message, right?"
  819. >You nod
  820. >"Well, how about we send a message?"
  821. >What?
  822. >Before you can ask, he steps forward and sits down
  823. >Right in your throne
  824. >WHAT IS HE THINKING?!
  825. >It feels as if your blood was cooled ten degrees in an instant
  826. >Whip your head around to see if anyone saw
  827. >BUCK, BUCK!
  828. >A few are already staring in open confusion
  829. >You look back to Anon, and he's... patting his legs?
  830. >He nods at his lap quickly
  831. >"Quick, sit down before we ALL look like jackasses."
  832. >You want to ask what donkeys have to do with him sitting in your throne, but you can't deny an out when it's presented to you on a silver platter
  833. >Golden, even, in this case
  834. >You sit down, and motion Gleaming to do the same
  835. >Gotta go all in
  836. >She hesitates, likely her guardsmare training keeping her from doing something "improper" in public with the princesses so close
  837. >You glance up and- WOW that's a lot of people looking at you
  838. >Okay, time to hurry this along
  839. >You give your marefriend a magical -and thankfully invisible- kick in her cute tush
  840. >She stumbles forward, giving Anon the chance to pick her up and plop her down on his other leg
  841. >You look back up at the crowd
  842. >Okay, interest seems to be bleeding off of you all and back into their conversations
  843. >You let out a breath and relax into Anon, absentmindedly wriggling deeper into his hold
  844. "Okay, so besides giving me a heart attack, what kind of message is this supposed to be sending, Anon?"
  845. >You feel an arm snake around your back
  846. >"Well, you're the princess of love, right?"
  847. >You nod, and spot his other arm going behind Gleaming now
  848. >"And the nobles have been giving you hell lately because of your relationship, your love, right?"
  849. >This time you both nod
  850. >Where was he going with this?
  851. >"So what better way to send a message..."
  852. >Without warning, he pulls the both of you close, mashing his cheeks into yours at once
  853. >The nuzzle was exaggerated, rough, and all around amateurish
  854. >And from the gasps you can hear from the crowd, it was also highly visible
  855. >Most of them were male, in fact
  856. >"Than cuddling up here, in full view of every blue-blooded fuck within a country mile?"
  857. >THUMP
  858. >Aaand somepony just fainted
  859. >Well, you DID want to send a message...
  860. >But, as you shift around trying to both get comfortable and continue the super-nuzzle, something tells you this was a hell of a way to start a LONG night
  861. -X-
  862. >Grass grows
  863. >Birds fly
  864. >Sun shines
  865. >And you're still Cadence
  866. >A few hours have passed after Anon's little display
  867. >For a bit there, you honestly thought the nobles would just charge you
  868. >More than a few stallions looked angry, but they knew they couldn't do anything
  869. >You've never been more thankful for the crown on your head than you are now
  870. >Eventually, things quieted back down
  871. >Attention drifted from your alien coltfriend back to the "new" princess
  872. >Though, more than once you heard a few ponies' gossip drift into your ears
  873. >For once in your life, you WANT the nobles to gossip about you
  874. >You shake your head
  875. >What's the world coming to?
  876. >The time for sitting pretty on your handsome throne has passed, and now you and your Aunts drift through the party, talking to the various guests
  877. >You, of course, keep Gleaming and Anon close
  878. >It may have been a strong message he sent, but it shouldn't hurt to send a few more tonight
  879. >As you bid farewell to some well-to-do zebra from Manehatten, you hear a high-pitched voice behind you
  880. >"Fair colt? We would wish to have words with you."
  881. >Is that Aunt Luna?
  882. >Who's she talking to?
  883. >You turn and, trying to look like you're NOT spying on a family member's conversation, look out the corner of your eye
  884. >She's talking to Anon
  885. >Well now
  886. >This should be interesting
  887. >He folds an arm across his chest and bows a bit
  888. >Formal, but not excessively so
  889. >Where'd he learn that?
  890. >"Of course, Your Majesty. What do you need?"
  891. >Luna waves a hoof, though it looks a bit forced
  892. >Aunt Celestia said she was drained from her time on the moon, but was she hurt as well?
  893. >"No need for that, fair colt. Our sister has told us how the times have changed since Our... Absence. And besides, thou art of a Royal Herd, and thus a royal thyself."
  894. >Huh
  895. >Seems Aunt Luna was picking up modern Equestrian better than you thought
  896. >A bit formal, and slipping in places, but still better than you'd probably do after missing a thousand years of lingual evolution
  897. >"And even if thou were not, We have learned a lesson on pride after Our sister's student and her companions freed Us from Our corruption."
  898. >Wait what
  899. >What did Twilight have to do with this?
  900. >And what's this about corruption?
  901. >Out of the corner of your OTHER eye, you see Gleaming's ears perk up and swivel over to listen in
  902. >Hope that guard she was talking to didn't have anything important to say
  903. >The little alicorn snorts
  904. >"But enough of that, tell Us: How didst thee come to be in Our niece Cadence's herd? We desire details, fair colt."
  905. >W-what the buck?
  906. >Was Luna, your millenia-displaced aunt, GOSSIPING?
  907. >confusedlovehorse.portrait
  908. >"Our sister claims such information is absolutely necessary when dealing with one's family in this age."
  909. >Oh
  910. >Aunt Celestia put her up to it
  911. >That... actually makes a lot of sense
  912. >Anon swirls his drink a little before looking toward you and Gleaming
  913. >You look away, but keep listening
  914. >"Well, I take it you saw the reaction from the nobles just after we arrived?"
  915. >"Yes, t'was quite the brazen move... apparently."
  916. >Anon chuckles
  917. >"Well, before I started dating- er, courting Cadence and Gleaming, they were together."
  918. >"Naturally."
  919. >"And apparently the nobles weren't very appreciative of that. They kept pressuring them to 'stop acting like a common mare, and get a stallion.' They were understandably concerned about letting in a gold-digger, or someone who would simply use them to increase their own standing."
  920. >Aunt Luna hums
  921. >"T'was likely they were. Rife were the tales of ladies and lords with such unions in... Our time. We take it that they have since fallen from grace?"
  922. >"Honestly, I don't know. I don't really pay attention to politics or such things like that. Anyway, they didn't want to end up in something like that, so they came to me.
  923. >"I was a friend of Gleaming's before all this, and they knew I wouldn't do something like that. They asked me if I wanted to try it, one thing led to another, and well... I think I love them."
  924. >Your heart flutters and everything seems a bit brighter
  925. >He'd always been a bit shy about that
  926. >Said you relationship was going quite fast by human standards
  927. >But to hear him say it...
  928. >Oh, what you wouldn't give to see his face right now!
  929. >Aunt Luna hums once again
  930. >"An interesting story, fair colt. We would stay, but there are others We must meet 'ere the morrow. Farewell."
  931. >Anon bid a respectful goodbye, and you could hear your Aunt's metal-clad hooves trotting away
  932. >After that, the night went by uneventfully
  933. >Nobles talked, drinks were had, and people gossiped
  934. >At this point, you honestly think the nobles came to these parties just to talk and get drunk
  935. >Not drunk enough to do anything actually interesting, of course
  936. >Anon, bless his heart, tried to keep up with it all for as long as he could
  937. >But without the spells keeping everyone else up, you caught him dozing off more and more often as the night went off
  938. >More and more guests left, but as one of the "hosts," you, and thus Anon, would have to stay for a while longer
  939. >Eventually you decided to take pity on your colt and stayed on the throne, letting him doze with you and Gleaming in his arms
  940. >It took a couple more boring hours, but eventually all the guests were gone
  941. >Just as you were about to get up, you realized a snag in your plan
  942. >How were you going to get him up to your room?
  943. >You couldn't teleport him, or carry him with your magic
  944. >And he was too big to carry on your back
  945. >Maybe if you took one half and Gleaming took the other side-by-side?
  946. >Hmm...
  947. >That might JUST work
  948. >But how would you even get him on your backs in the first place?
  949. >"Cadence? Is something wrong?"
  950. >Oh yeah, Aunt Celestia was still here
  951. >Aunt Luna, too
  952. "Eh, kinda... I'm not sure how we're going to get Anon back to our room so he can get some sleep, and I don't want to just wake him up and make him walk."
  953. >Luna scrunches in confusion, and it takes a considerable effort to not daww and the millenia-old alicorn
  954. >"Why dost he sleep? We were led to believe there were spells in place to keep the guests awake."
  955. >You shake your head
  956. "We don't know why, but Anon's immune to magic. That throws teleportation and, well, magic in general out the window."
  957. >Shit, mare, how were you gonna do this?
  958. >Your eyes idly flick from Anon, to Gleaming, to Aunt Luna, and to Aunt Celestia
  959. >Wait
  960. >You mentally compare the size of Anon to Aunt Celestia
  961. >It just might work
  962. "Aunt Celestia, do you think you could carry Anon? I know you're not on the best of terms right now, but I'd really appreciate it."
  963. >That surprised her
  964. >She looks at you with wide eyes, then to Anon
  965. >Probably doing the same comparisons you were
  966. >She nods slowly
  967. >"Y-yes, I... I suppose I can."
  968. >She clears her throat and shakes her head
  969. >"Well, I suppose we'd best hop to it."
  970. >A few minutes and one nearly-nasty fall later, Anon was slung over your Aunt's back
  971. >Considering he didn't even stir during the transfer, you wonder if you even would have been able to wake him up to walk him to bed
  972. >You were at Aunt Celestia's side, one wing extended over Anon like a pink blanket to keep him stable
  973. >Gleaming brought up the rear
  974. >And Aunt Luna was on her sister's other side
  975. >Said she was there for moral support, but you think she just wanted to watch
  976. >It was four in the morning after all
  977. >Eventually you manage to get back to your room and deposit one sleeping human onto the bed
  978. "Thank you for helping, Aunt Celestia."
  979. >You yawn, your own spell pretty much spent
  980. >She said... something, you're not quite sure what, and left
  981. >Probably to go get some rest of her own before she had to raise the sun in a few hours
  982. >Gleaming was in much the same boat
  983. >She just chucked her uniform in the corner and hopped into bed
  984. >You say your goodbyes and goodnights before joining her
  985. >The spell fades completely
  986. >Too tired to mess with the covers or even care, you settle down and fall asleep with your herd
  987. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  988. >You are Anon
  989. >And you are comfy
  990. >So comfy in fact, that it takes you a whole five seconds to start wanting to blow up the sun when it catches you in the eye
  991. >That two seconds up from your old record!
  992. >You bring your hand up to black the not-fusion powered menace, but your hand catches on something
  993. >Something warm, soft, and fuzzy
  994. >Also grumbly
  995. >O shit nigga, were you in bed with someone?!
  996. >THAT woke you up
  997. >With a shot of adrenaline, you somehow manage to sit up and not overly disturb whoever the fuck you were sleeping with
  998. >You look down and-
  999. >Oh
  1000. >False alarm, it was just Gleaming and Cadence
  1001. >How'd you get in bed with them?
  1002. >There was that party, but you don't think you drank anything
  1003. >Neither do you think they actually had anything that COULD get you drunk there
  1004. [spoiler]>Bunch'a worthless blue-blooded fucks...[/spoiler]
  1005. >Heart rate slowly returning to normal, you look up from your sleeping girlfriends and see... the single most aggressively pink room you think you've ever seen
  1006. >Heart motifs were pretty much everywhere
  1007. >From the heart-shaped mirror on the vanity, to carvings in most of the furniture you can see from the bed, and even to the paint on the goddamn walls
  1008. >You think it's safe to assume this is Cadence's room
  1009. >But how did you get here?
  1010. >You lay back onto the bed, noting that you were still in your suit
  1011. >The same could not be said of your girls, you found out as you began to idly pet them while you cast your mind back to last night
  1012. >There was the party, your little message with the throne, a few hours of NOTHING, your chat with Princess Luna, a few MORE hours of nothing, and then...
  1013. >You frown
  1014. >Shit starts to get spotty
  1015. >Must've been tired
  1016. >It wasn't often you admitted that your immunity to magic had its drawbacks, but you distinctly remember those spells keeping the other guests up looking more and more useful as the night went on
  1017. >The last thing you remembered was sitting back down on the throne, and then -surprise!- more NOTHING
  1018. >Did you fall asleep?
  1019. >Cadence murmurs something in her sleep and pulls herself closer
  1020. >Did they carry you up here?
  1021. >Shit, that couldn't have been easy
  1022. >Cadence might've been tall for a pony, but you still had a solid two feet on her, and she had a half-foot on Gleaming
  1023. >You lay back down and pull your girls close
  1024. >You smile
  1025. >If they went through the bullshit of getting you into a bed last night, then the least you could do is stay in that bed with them for a bit longer
  1026. -X-
  1027. >The universe has a few, well, universal rules
  1028. >Light travels at C
  1029. >You are Anon
  1030. >And a man has needs
  1031. >One such need calls to you now, even as you gently lift yourself off the bed
  1032. >Ponies are like cats
  1033. >As in disturbing them while they sleep is probably against the Geneva Convention, somehow
  1034. >A few minutes and a prayer of thanks to whoever made Equestria's magical and SILENT toilets later, you were standing in front of the main door of Cadence's suite, trying to remember something that had served you well while you were living here some months ago
  1035. >Now, how did this go?
  1036. >Hope ol' Sunbutt didn't change the code while you were gone
  1037. >You knock on the door twice, slow and firm
  1038. >Then once
  1039. >Then three quick knocks
  1040. >Barely a minute later, a pony in a maid uniform pushed open the door
  1041. >"You called for us, Princess Cadenza?"
  1042. >Her eyes widen when she spots you
  1043. >Not every day you find an alien in one of your rulers' home donchaknow
  1044. >"Oh, lord Anonymous. How may I help you, m'lord?"
  1045. >Damn
  1046. >You honestly don't know if she's just being formal for the new kinda-royal, or if you just got m'lady'd
  1047. "Could you ask the kitchens to send up three plates of pancakes, and a pot of coffee?"
  1048. >The mare bowed
  1049. >"Of course, m'lord."
  1050. >Yup, you got m'lady'd
  1051. >After the mare left, you pick up one of the MANY books scattered about the room
  1052. >"Love in the Moonlight" was the book's title
  1053. >The cover had a picture of a unicorn stallion clinging to a pegasus mare with the fakest looking fangs you've ever seen
  1054. >Shit, is this what you think it is?
  1055. >You pick through a few more of the books
  1056. >"Desire in the Deep" had some kind of sea-pony... thing holding a speedo-clad earth pony stallion on what you assume is a beach
  1057. >And "Lusts of the Louisineigha Bayou" had some vaguely pony-esque bug creature watching a pegasus stallion that was apparently so incompetent that his suitcase spontaneuously detonated in the middle of the (presumably) titular bayou
  1058. >A dozen other less memorable books and their covers confirm it
  1059. >They're all as trashy as the first
  1060. >Does Cadence really read this crap?
  1061. >Okay, stupid question, of course she does
  1062. >Princess of Love and all that
  1063. >The better question is what does she read it for?
  1064. >Relationship tips, or a guide on what NOT to do?
  1065. >Before you could decide whether or not you should be scared of your girlfriend pulling something from this to use on you, the bedroom door opened and the mare herself walked in
  1066. >Plus a still-snoozing Gleaming on her back
  1067. >She looks half dead, but that doesn't stop her from shuffling over, dropping Gleaming onto you like a box of rocks, and hopping up herself
  1068. >You run your fingers through her bed-head
  1069. "Morning Candy, I've got breakfast on the way up."
  1070. >She just buried herself deeper into the couch/you and grumbled something about how "pillows aren't supposed to move"
  1071. >You smile and continue petting her
  1072. >Yup, just like cats
  1073. >The food arrived and, after some strategic use of coffee, syrup, and bribery, you manage to raise your girls from the dead long enough to have a decent breakfast
  1074. >Things were still a bit sedate until about half the pot was gone
  1075. "So..."
  1076. >They look up from their plates
  1077. >Gleaming has around two pancakes stuffed in her mouth and a dollop of syrup on her nose
  1078. >Cadence is sporting a rather un-princess-like coffee mustache
  1079. "Now that the cat's out of the bag, what do we do now?"
  1080. >Cadence hums into her drink and sets it down
  1081. >"Well, with the word out, some public appearances together would probably be for the best."
  1082. >You nod
  1083. "But with the word out, those public appearances will be that much more difficult, right?"
  1084. >She nods, and squares her shoulders
  1085. >"Yes, unfortunately. But in the end, it doesn't matter how difficult it may or may not be."
  1086. >She looks at you and Gleaming, and smiles
  1087. >"We may have started this herd to get the nobles off our backs, but now we're in this together to be together. On that note, how does a dinner and movie this thursday sound, honey bunnies?"
  1088. >Gleaming made a choking sound and you reached over to scratch the prettiest pink pony princess behind the ears
  1089. "That sounds great, but why not sooner? Some of those skulls out there have gotta be thick. It'd be better to start beating it into them sooner than later."
  1090. >She pushes her head into your hand and sighs
  1091. >"I know, but with Aunt Celestia taking care of Aunt Luna's reintegration, my own load has been increased. I'm sorry, but that's the first chance I'll even have to breathe."
  1092. >She looks up at you through her hair, eyes narrowed with a playful glint within
  1093. >"And you aren't exactly helping, young man. Charming us hard working mares with your masculine wiles."
  1094. >You laugh and quickly muss up her mane
  1095. [spoiler]>Not that there is much to muss up
  1096. >Bed-head and all[/spoiler]
  1097. >Cadence didn't look it, but she was actually the oldest of the three of you, with twenty years on you, while you had three on Gleaming
  1098. >Speaking of the mare, she finally manages to work her mass of pancake past her tonsils and speak with a pat on your back
  1099. >"Don't worry, Anon. I've got a day off today, so you won't be all alone today."
  1100. >U wot m8?
  1101. >What does she think you are, a child?
  1102. >In mere seconds, you've destroyed whatever effort she put into tidying her mane
  1103. [spoiler]>Probably none[/spoiler]
  1104. >What are you, some kind of mane-mussing machine today?
  1105. "Thanks, Glim-Glam. I already feel SO much better with you here to protect me from the big bad world."
  1106. >Your little unicorn huffs a laugh before leaning against you, idly sipping at her coffee
  1107. >Just out of the corner of your eye, you spot it
  1108. >The Alicorn Glint of Mischiveous Doom™
  1109. >Gleaming takes a deeper drink, and seals her fate as Cadance's horn lights up in a decidedly unwholesome way
  1110. >"You know, since you're both free, why don't you take Anon to meet your parents, Glimmy?"
  1111. >You never really thought you'd see a spit-take
  1112. >You certainly never thought you'd see one that REBOUNDED
  1113. >For your sake as well as your girlfriends', you really hope coffee comes out of fur
  1114. >Shit's sticky, yo
  1115. -X-
  1116. >Be Anon
  1117. >Be standing in front of an upper-middle class looking house
  1118. >Also be trying to defuse the nerve bomb designation UN-1C0RN
  1119. >Alternatively known as Gleaming Shield
  1120. >After you finished breakfast and washed up, you decided that it was best to bite the bullet and meet Gleaming's parents
  1121. >Many men have tried, but you just can't avoid your in-laws forever
  1122. >She was calm enough in the beginning, but as the businesses started to thin out and the houses grew more common, she started to grow more and more jittery
  1123. >You did get a few looks on the way over, along with some not-so-quiet chattering about you
  1124. >But you ain't got shit to hide anymore, so you doubt it was that
  1125. >No, you just think that it  was just starting to really sink in that she was taking her boyfriend to meet her parents
  1126. >You tried to keep her calm with encouraging words and a constant presence, but that only worked so much
  1127. >By the time you reached Gleaming's old house, the little unicorn was pacing back and forth in front of the gate
  1128. >You tried to calm her down
  1129. "Calm down, Gleaming. I know I'm not as impressive as the first person you brought home, but I'm pretty sure your folks won't toss me out on my ear on principle. You turned out alright, after all."
  1130. >It didn't work
  1131. >The unicorn's ear flicking toward you was the only warning you got before you were pulled to your knees, your cheeks in her hooves
  1132. >"Not impressive?"
  1133. >In fact, you think it just made it worse somehow
  1134. >"Nononono, Anon. No, they're going to LOVE you."
  1135. >Okay, that's good to hear, but why did she still look so nervous?
  1136. >You cock an eyebrow
  1137. "Thanks, but that's a problem... why?"
  1138. >She groaned and dropped to her hooves, her tail lashing back and forth
  1139. >"Because as soon as we step through that door and they realize I've got a coltfriend, they'll be on us like timberwolves, Anon!"
  1140. >She goes back to pacing, body tense and agitated
  1141. >"They'll ask when we're getting married, what names we have picked out for out foals, what house we'll be living in, who-"
  1142. >A throat is cleared behind you, and Gleaming freezes as she looks past you
  1143. >You turn, and see a smug looking gray mare and an annoyed dark blue stallion standing in the doorway
  1144. >The mare turns her smug look toward the stallion
  1145. >He sighs, a bit too dramatically to be natural, before magicking up what looks like a bit purse
  1146. >The mare takes it, before magicking it away... somewhere
  1147. >She walks up and gives you a winning smile
  1148. >"Hello, I'm Twilight Velvet, this one's mother. Could I invite the colt who stole my daughter's heart and made me 200 hundred bits richer inside for a chat?"
  1149. >After Gleaming's post just-got-caught lockup faded, along with the embarrassment that came with it, things went rather well in your opinion
  1150. >You were invited inside, sat down with Gleaming one one side of a table with her parents on the other, and drinks were dished out
  1151. >You looked from Velvet to Gleaming's father, a grumpy looking unicorn by the name of Night Light
  1152. >Memories of previous, human girlfriends and disapproving fathers flashed to the front of your mind, and you were suddenly very eager to break the ice that'd built up
  1153. "So... What were those bits for?"
  1154. >Gleaming perks up a bit
  1155. >Apparently she was curious too
  1156. >Night Light just huffs and opts to stare into a corner
  1157. >Shit, what'd you say?!
  1158. >Velvet must've noticed your alarm
  1159. >She waves a hoof
  1160. >"Oh, don't you worry about him. He's just a little miffed he lost. As for what the bet was, ol' Nightie here bet that our youngest, Twilight Sparkle, would at least have her first kiss by the time Glim-Glam here herds with a nice stallion."
  1161. >Wot?
  1162. "You call her Glim-Glam, too?"
  1163. >Man, you thought you were being clever with that
  1164. >She doesn't answer, instead opting to lean forward with a grin promising suffering and embarrassment for her children
  1165. >Looks real familiar
  1166. >Almost like a look a certain alicorn you know loves to use on your mutual girlfriend
  1167. >"So, since you have such high expectations for us, when should we be expecting grandfoals, dear?"
  1168. >Night Light stops pouting and tilts his head with a frown
  1169. >Was he even listening?
  1170. >"Grandfoals?"
  1171. >He looks to his wife
  1172. >"Grandfoals?"
  1173. >What is he doing?
  1174. >And is that hope you hear in his voice?
  1175. >He looks from you, to Gleaming
  1176. >Then back to you
  1177. >Then back to Gleaming
  1178. >"G-grandfoals?"
  1179. >And that's when he faints
  1180. >As Gleaming and her mother leap to their hooves, you know you should be more concerned, but all you can do is sigh
  1181. >Sometimes this reverse-gender-role thing can be really fucking tiring
  1182. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  1183. >Be Gleaming Shield
  1184. >Captain of the Royal Guard
  1185. >Consort of Love
  1186. >And certified Spell-Mistress of shields
  1187. >Impressive, eh?
  1188. >Too bad none of those kept your dad from fainting just now
  1189. >You'd heard about bouts of fainting from your less disciplined guards [spoiler]and your romance novels[/spoiler]
  1190. >But you never though they were really... real
  1191. >You carry him to your parent's bed
  1192. >Anon tried to help, but your mom wasn't having any of it, and neither were you
  1193. >For what feels like the first time in years, your magic is actually USEFUL!
  1194. >That feeling was rare enough growing up with Twily, and you weren't passing it up now
  1195. >Thankfully the "attack" didn't last long
  1196. >Only a minute seemed to pass before you could hear the clip-clop of his hooves from the living room
  1197. >A second later you faintly heard the shimmer-pop of teleportation
  1198. >Was he even out in the first place?
  1199. >You aren't sure
  1200. >You heave an internal sigh
  1201. >Your dad always was a special kind of whimsical
  1202. >"So Anon, how did you and my little Glim-Glam meet? She certainly hasn't told ME anything, but then again I suppose that's par for the course with my daughters."
  1203. >Oh Sun....
  1204. >You cover your face, caught somewhere between embarrassment and guilt
  1205. >"Well, a few months ago I met Gleaming at a bar. She had already had a few by the time I arrived and was ranting about some recruits, if I remember right."
  1206. >You feel a hand on your head
  1207. >"I thought she was cute and fun to listen to, all liquored up like that, so I introduced myself. Well, I introduced myself again the next time I saw her. Thankfully she was sober enough to remember it that time."
  1208. >Oh, you can FEEL Mom's disappointment already
  1209. >Having your coltfriend talk about your drinking habits wasn't exactly what you were planning when Cadence had suggested taking him to meet your parents
  1210. >"We were drinking buddies for a few months, just chatting every few nights, you know? One night Gleaming asks me to come to one of our usual places. She brings along Cadence, and they ask me if I want to start a herd with them. Not the most romantic start, but we've been dating for about a month and a half now and things are good so far."
  1211. >Your mom hums a bit
  1212. >"I suppose it isn't. Contrary to what I write from time to time, not all loves are grandiose things. Not even the Princess of Love's... loves. Speaking of, where is Cadence, dear?"
  1213. >Seems Mom's done with you hiding behind your hooves like a little filly
  1214. >Your eyes were closed behind your hooves, but you know she was asking you
  1215. >It was the Tone
  1216. >The same Tone she used when you were eight and hiding in a closet
  1217. >You don't really remember how it happened, but after Mom stepped out of the room for some reason, you somehow managed to dump glue and glitter all over a three-year-old Twily
  1218. >She made you help clean it all out of Twily's fur as punishment
  1219. >It took HOURS
  1220. >Hours of sticky fur, glittery water, and a crying filly
  1221. "She had some more work than usual today. Since Anon and I were free, she suggested we come here so he could meet you."
  1222. >You drop your hooves from your face and make a few vague motions
  1223. >Jazz-hooves, you think they're called
  1224. "Here we are."
  1225. >Mom looks at you for a bit, before turning back to Anon
  1226. >"Well, now that you're here, how about you tell me a bit about yourself, Anon? I understand you're a bit famous, being an alien and all, but there's only so much a mare can glean from her husband's gossip if she doesn't listen herself, after all."
  1227. >An eyebrow rose, and Anon shrugged
  1228. >"Alright, not really much to tell, though."
  1229. >He leans back
  1230. >"I stayed at the castle for a while before I got my own place. At the moment, I'm a waiter downtown at 'Sunlight Sunnery.' Weird name, but I gotta admit it pays more than I expected. You ponies are real generous with tips."
  1231. >You manage to suppress a wince
  1232. >An exotic colt as your waiter would be something on its own, but you're pretty sure you know where those "generous" tips come from
  1233. >Especially since most ponies only come up to Anon's waist when sitting down
  1234. >You've fought the temptation yourself
  1235. >More than once, even
  1236. >T'was a hard fought battle, won only with the sacrifice of [spoiler]missing pretty much the entirety of whatever he was talking about at the time[/spoiler]
  1237. >Your mother snorts
  1238. >"Just until your acting career takes off, right?"
  1239. >What?
  1240. >Anon laughs
  1241. >"No, I can't act to save my life, Mrs. Velvet."
  1242. >What are they talking about?
  1243. >There's one mare in this room that knows whats happening, and she's not you
  1244. >Your mother smiles
  1245. >"Good, you can take a joke. Was worried you might've been one of those stallions that take every little thing as if it were the return of Discord himself!"
  1246. >She waves a hoof
  1247. >"I love my Nighty, but some of his friends just make me want to rip my mane out sometimes."
  1248. >Anon nods
  1249. >"I hear you, Mrs. Velvet. One of my guy friends, Sleepy Meadow, is always ragging on about some new diet he's on. Sometimes I just wanna pick him up, sit him down, and tell him to shut the fuck up for five minutes."
  1250. >As you watch their conversation grow more and more animated, you just settle in and stare
  1251. >Well, you reflect, there were a lot worse things that could have happened than.. this
  1252. >Sure, your dad pretty much ran away, but it could have been worse
  1253. [spoiler]>You could have brought a zebra home[/spoiler]
  1254. -X-
  1255. >The gentle rustle of leaves in the wind fill your ears as you walk in the park
  1256. >That same wind brushes against your fur and through your mane
  1257. >Seems like you're still Gleaming
  1258. >Makes sense, seeing how Anon's sitting next to you
  1259. >A bit of time has passed since you FINALLY left your parent's house
  1260. >After you left, you decided to get some lunch and make a date of it
  1261. >It wasn't quite time yet, so you've just been walking the streets of the city
  1262. [spoiler]>Times like this made you REALLY thankful your home is visible from nearly any point in the city[/spoiler]
  1263. >Eventually you ended up in this park, sitting side by side on a bench in a comfortable silence
  1264. >A small group of unicorns is playing in a gazebo some couple dozen hooves away
  1265. >"Well, I think that went well."
  1266. >You look up to him
  1267. "Are you sure? I mean, yeah, you and Mom got along, but Dad just fainted as soon as we got there."
  1268. >You look away and make a face at a bush across the path
  1269. "In fact, I'm not sure he even really fainted. Might'a just done that to run off... somewhere."
  1270. >"Really? A bit rude, but you know what they say about gift horses and all that."
  1271. >You do not, in fact, know what they say about... that
  1272. >You do, however, stuff it into the "things to ask Anon about later" box
  1273. >The comfortable silence descends once again
  1274. >It was... nice
  1275. >Your attention wanders, before settling on the unicorns
  1276. >Seems they were a small group, probably just out of school and working their talents for the first time in the real world
  1277. >You know those jitters
  1278. >Those flitting eyes, trying to see everything at once
  1279. >Your guardsmares get them whenever they go out on their first patrols
  1280. >An old memory of three fillies -two unicorns and a rare noble earth pony, just a bit younger than you- surfaces
  1281. >By the Sun, did they love music growing up
  1282. >You remember your neighbor once saying that the only thing that was greater than their love for music was their ability to wreak musical destruction
  1283. >Tartarus, you even remember hearing the earth pony nearly killed her father with a violin-cum-bow
  1284. >What was her name?
  1285. >Octagon, Otacon, Octangle?
  1286. >Whatever
  1287. >You are gently but firmly escorted from memory lane by the stomping of hooves
  1288. >Seems the performance's over
  1289. >Even attracted a bit of a crowd
  1290. >They're taking the praise well enough, but you can see them glancing to the already half-full hat they'd set down
  1291. >You smile
  1292. >Yeah, they're new to this
  1293. >Anon whistles
  1294. >"Damn. I know you ponies can do a lot of things, but it always surprises me how well you can do music with those hooves of yours."
  1295. >You smirk, and gently poke your coltfriend with your horn
  1296. "Magic, Anon, not hooves. Magic. I know you don't see it that often, but it can be useful from time to time."
  1297. >He huffs and flicks you on the horn
  1298. >Cheeky colt...
  1299. >You weren't using it, but the horn is still a sensitive organ!
  1300. >"I know, but you'd be singing a different tune if I had my phone with me when that damn sidewalk ate me. A little DragonForce and you would know the power of fingers!"
  1301. >Oh but Anon, you DO know the power of those digits
  1302. >The power they hold over you when they comb through your mane...
  1303. >When they glide across your fur...
  1304. >But best of all was when he used them to [spoiler]give you belly rubs[/spoiler]
  1305. >Unfortunately, a nearby bird chirps a bit too loudly, pulling you out of your daydreams before you could
  1306. >Probably for the best
  1307. >Don't want to get TOO into it and end up doing something inappropriate in a public park
  1308. [spoiler]>You aren't Cadence, after all[/spoiler]
  1309. >Think of the foals, Gleaming
  1310. >Gotta walk this off
  1311. >Now, where should you go for lunch?
  1312. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  1313. >Body, status report!
  1314. >Brain: lethargic
  1315. >Eyes: sore and dry
  1316. >Belly: empty
  1317. >Hm...
  1318. >According to these readings, you're Cadence now
  1319. >Specifically after a few hours' work making sure the country doesn't burn to the ground while Aunt Luna's being brought up to speed
  1320. >Spending time with your herd before work has always energised you, but there's only so much that can do in the face of the tidal wave of beurocracy that had your name on it today
  1321. >Especially since Aunt Luna decided to re-establish the Night Guard
  1322. >Not that there weren't already guards out at night
  1323. >Apparently they had to wear purple to be "real" Night Guards
  1324. [spoiler]>But what did YOU know?
  1325. >You were just a princess in TRAINING, after all
  1326. >frustratedhorsenoises.scroll[/spoiler]
  1327. >THAT put an extra load on your dear Glimmy's withers
  1328. >Some nights all she can manage is a kiss goodnight before she's out like a light
  1329. >You weren't exactly asking for a three course meal, but a mare has needs
  1330. >Sometimes she wants to [spoiler]cuddle[/spoiler]
  1331. >It's just not the same if she's already asleep
  1332. >You shake your head and set down the papers (either the local tax code of Detrot, or the Canterlot fire response manual, you honestly aren't sure anymore) on your desk and get up to leave your office
  1333. >Aunt Celestia may like to call it a study
  1334. >But so long as you're the one slaving away in there, its a damn office
  1335. >Right now, by the authority invested in you as a Princess of Equestria, it is now lunch time
  1336. >So saith the Lady
  1337. >Totally not paraphrasing one of Anon's exotic sayings, no ma'am!
  1338. >Thanks to nearly thirty years' experience living in the castle, it only takes you a few minutes to get to the Royal Dining Hall
  1339. >The capitals are, in fact, important
  1340. >Vitally so, even
  1341. >Inside you find your aunts, already seated and idly chatting with...
  1342. "Mr. Nightlight?"
  1343. >Six years of etiquette training screech at you from within your soul, but you can't help but let out just how bewildered you feel
  1344. >What was Gleaming's dad doing here?
  1345. >Was he even allowed to be here?
  1346. >Aunt Celestia chuckles as you sit down
  1347. >"Just as Captain Shield is allowed to eat here, so too is her family, Cadence."
  1348. >Did you said that out loud?
  1349. >Buck it, you're too tired for this
  1350. >You order a bowl of mac n' cheese and put your head on the table
  1351. >You hear the clip-clop of hooves on the ground closing in, and suddenly there's a hoof stroking your mane
  1352. >Considering the lack of a hoof-guard, you're pretty sure it was Mr. Nightlight's
  1353. >Oh yeah, he was talking, too
  1354. >That helped with the whole "identification" thing
  1355. >"Oh, look at you, Cadence, all tuckered out. Well, don't you worry about a thing. The Princesses here just told me that they were just about done getting Princess Luna up to speed, so soon you'll be able to have a break from all this work. Does that sound nice?"
  1356. >The gentle motions of his hoof and the concern in his voice seemed to just bleed away all the accumulated stress of the day
  1357. >You even think your headache was going away
  1358. >You weren't exactly a "daddy's filly," but who are you to argue with results?
  1359. >You feel a small smile coming on and try to push yourself further into Mr. Nightlight's hoof
  1360. >It doesn't really work
  1361. >Mainly because it's a HOOF and not a HAND
  1362. >Whatever
  1363. "Thanks, Dad."
  1364. >Things are good
  1365. >"And now that I caught you, you are going to tell me all about how you met that Anon fellow."
  1366. >The smile slides off your face
  1367. >"I can see it now, 'The Princess of Love and the Colt from Beyond the Stars.'  Ooh, Velvet's gonna love that one!"
  1368. >Oh, why did Mr. Nightlight have to be such a gossip-hound, AND a hopeless romantic?
  1369. [spoiler]>You feel that last one should mean something, coming from you[/spoiler]
  1370. >One was to be expected, but both at once just left you wanting to die right about now
  1371. >You suppose something'd have to fill his head while he stared up at the stars all night
  1372. "Buck you, Dad."
  1373. >Things are bad
  1374. -X-
  1375. >A few days have passed
  1376. >And you're still Cadence
  1377. >It seems Mr. Nightlight was right, as your work load has lightened
  1378. >But more importantly: Momma's got a date tonight!
  1379. >The first one you've had without a disguise in... Sun, at LEAST a year
  1380. >Not since your Glimmy took you out camping in one of the several forests that dotted Mount Canter's base and lower hills
  1381. >When you first got there, she was all about trying out some of the "wilderness survival contingencies" the Guard had drilled into her head that month
  1382. >You wouldn't have minded that much, if she hadn't planned to "supplement" your supplies by "gathering on-site resources"
  1383. >She wanted you to eat grass and wildflowers, like some kind of animal!
  1384. [spoiler]>Standing on the street and bored out of his mind as he waited for his date(s) to arrive, Anon suddenly felt an unusual need to bowl over laughing his ass off
  1385. >Deciding against such an autistic course of action, he instead downgraded it to a not-so-sensible chuckle[/spoiler]
  1386. >And you were certain it had NOTHING to do with how light she claimed her pack had been on the way there
  1387. >Oh no, it was OBVIOUSLY because of how the new drills were finally starting to pay off!
  1388. >Your eyes landed on the mare herself, trotting happily just ahead of you
  1389. >Her muscles flex and relax with each step, barely visible beneath her spotless white coat
  1390. >What with her... less than forward-thinking attitude, it was almost easy to forget she was, in fact, a guard
  1391. >Chiseled flesh, cultivated over years on your unicorn marefriend was starting to look more like something you'd see on an earth-pony
  1392. >Sort of like Anon's, though you weren't quite sure what he could do with what he had
  1393. >Probably a lot, given that "piggy-back" ride...
  1394. >You [spoiler]scrunch[/spoiler]
  1395. >Wait a second
  1396. >Did you like muscles?
  1397. >It's not the weirdest thing to love about a pony's body...
  1398. >And you knew a thing or two about love
  1399. >A mare's gotta be strong to defend the herd, and the stallion's gotta be able to CARRY the foals if they need to run, after all
  1400. >Your eyes fall on Gleaming again
  1401. >Just in time to see that she's pulled ahead
  1402. >Giving you the perfect view of how her flanks jiggled just right as she walked, the softer flesh supported by the powerful cords of muscle beneath
  1403. [spoiler]>U-unf[/spoiler]
  1404. >You glance back at your own flanks
  1405. >Your significatly bigger,wider flanks
  1406. >While you don't have nearly the same kind of tone that Gleaming does, you're almost certain you're stronger than her
  1407. >In a base kind of way, at least
  1408. >You were a lover, not a fighter
  1409. >She'd probably be able to dance circles around you
  1410. >Sometimes, you just aren't sure what to think of the myriad "upgrades" you'd gotten when you sprouted your horn
  1411. >Your alicorn "retard strength," as Anon had named it, definately amongst them at times
  1412. >Though you aren't sure why he called it that...
  1413. >It doesn't slow you down, as far as you know, and it certainly didn't develop slowly itself either
  1414. >Just another mystery of human culture, you suppose...
  1415. >"Hey there, pretty pony!"
  1416. >Your head is unceremoniously plucked from the clouds of sexual introspection and body modification when you hear Anon's voice
  1417. >It seems you have arrived
  1418. >Gleaming was standing there, head in a crouching Anon's hand as she enjoyed her [spoiler]ear scritches
  1419. >That slut[/spoiler]
  1420. >As you come closer, you realise that you're finally at eye-level with him
  1421. >Huh, so that's what the top of his head looks like
  1422. >Just as you opened your mouth to greet your coltfriend, you snap it shut again
  1423. >Could you...?
  1424. >You look yourself over
  1425. >Then back to Anon
  1426. >A smile creeps across your face
  1427. >Yeah, you think you can
  1428. >"And how are you doing, Cade-woah!"
  1429. >As Anon lets go of Gleaming's ear, you strike!
  1430. >You rear up on your hindlegs, wings fluttering for balance, and throw your forelegs around your surprised human's neck
  1431. >Once you were slightly more sure of your balance, you wrap your wings around him
  1432. >Your head finds the perfect place in the crook of his neck
  1433. >You take a deep breath...
  1434. >feelsgoodfilly.carving
  1435. "It's been a while since I've been able to give anypony a proper hug, Anon."
  1436. >A happy sigh escapes you
  1437. "Its good to see you."
  1438. >You feel a shiver pass through him, and your eye just barely catches those cute little bumps spread across his skin
  1439. >What were they called...
  1440. >Bird-eggs?
  1441. >Whatever
  1442. >They were cute, like how little Spike's spines used to stick up when the little drake was embaressed
  1443. [spoiler]>Looking back, that happened a lot
  1444. >Poor colt[/spoiler]
  1445. >Though they were a bit harder to see, you suppose
  1446. >Still cute tho
  1447. >Anon sees your Hug (Capitalization Is Important, just like Aunt Celestia told you) and calls it with one of his own as his arms wrap around you and... raises you up?
  1448. >waitwhatabortABORT!
  1449. >Before you knew it, you were thrust up into the air, wings slightly spread as if you were flying already
  1450. >"And its good to see you too, my pretty pink pony princess!"
  1451. >The only things that kept you from REALLY taking off were the hands clamped onto your sides and the smile on Anon's face
  1452. [spoiler]>Stupid colt, messin' up your groove, gettin' wise to your tricks...
  1453. >He's lucky he's cute[/spoiler]
  1454. [spoiler]>And you're so much luckier to have him and Gleaming[/spoiler]
  1455. -X-
  1456. >Considering just how relieved you are to be sitting down, you must be still be Cadance, the Slightly Ruffled
  1457. >You KNEW that it wouldn't suddenly be easy to have this relationship -ANY relationship, really- just because you'd had your little song and dance with the nobles a week or so previously
  1458. >Sadly, that same song and dance didn't really mean much to the common pony beyond "This is the princess' relationship now"
  1459. >And to those same common ponies, you were, suprisingly, still a PRINCESS
  1460. >Those were kinda rare, the last you heard
  1461. >You wouldn't really know, though, since you see one in the mirror every day
  1462. >But, hey, who were you to judge
  1463. >Oh yeah, you were a mare that just had to WADE THROUGH A RIVER OF PONIES THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT PERSONAL SPACE IS TO GET TO A RESTARAUNT
  1464. "UGH!"
  1465. >You ruffle your feathers as the door closes behind you
  1466. >Sometimes you just have to shake the bad vibes off
  1467. >You even know what you're talking about with that!
  1468. >You're a Guru!
  1469. [spoiler]>A love Guru, in fact[/spoiler]
  1470. >
  1471.  
  1472. >You are also annoyed, but thankful
  1473. >It turns out daylight savings time was, somehow, still a thing
  1474. >You don't know why, seeing as your Aunt never actually recognizes it, and you rarely remember it exists
  1475. >Like how you only just remembered it today, in fact
  1476. >But the nobles of Equestria made their voices heard when they made the damn thing, and have kept making enough noise to keep it around, apparently
  1477. >The "dinner" part of "dinner and a movie" ended up being a couple burritos-to-go from a Donkey restaurant you had been meaning to try
  1478. >Of course, you couldn't stay long once you remembered THAT particular surprise
  1479. >Not when the hour you had alloted to dinner before the movie suddenly ceased to exist
  1480. >You knew donkeys could go fast when they wanted to, but MARE was the cook going back then!
  1481. >It was like she'd sprouted a pair of wings, at times
  1482. >After that, it was a mad dash to the theater, blitzing past the carefully selected scenery you were supposed to be romanticly strolling past, the chill of the night and your full bellies drawing you closer to eachother with each step
  1483. >You had a PLAN, damnit!
  1484. >A plan that was now in shambles thanks to some long-dead aristocrat that thought she could grow more oranges or something if she turned her clocks back an hour for three months of the year
  1485. >rankledhorsenoises.rune
  1486. >After a few minutes of running and stuffing your face with beans, you reached the theater
  1487. >Thankfully the movie hadn't started yet, so it was a simple matter finding seats, Anon in the middle with Gleaming and you on either side
  1488. >You're pretty sure you could just flaunt your position a bit and make them start over if it had, but it would have just been another hassle now
  1489. >At this point, you just wanted a nice helping of the human cuddles that your work had been keeping you from
  1490. >Maybe even sneak in a little [spoiler]grope[/spoiler]
  1491. >As the lights dim, you find already leaning into him, head on his shoulder
  1492. >A huff of amusement from the human drew your gaze "up" and across his chest
  1493. >It seems Gleaming had the same idea, her own head pinning the opposite shoulder
  1494. >You grinned, unable to help yourself
  1495. >Yeah, you show him girl!
  1496. [spoiler]>Equestria über alles![/spoiler]
  1497. >As you and your herd settle in, the screen begins to glow
  1498. >You shift in excitement
  1499. >The movie's title fades into view
  1500. >"Fifty Shades of Neigh"
  1501. >Tonight's going to be just magical, you can tell
  1502. (Needs more interaction, actually write restaraunt scene, and make sure Anon actually reacts, you goy!)
  1503. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
  1504. >You are Anon
  1505. >Sole human in Equestria
  1506. >Sole alien on this little horse-planet, in fact
  1507. [spoiler]>As far as you  know, at least[/spoiler]
  1508. >And perhaps more importantly, you do NOT have a white or pink marshmallow horse stapled to your side at the moment
  1509. >It shocked you too, after this last month and a half or so
  1510. >No, instead you were in your home and seated at your rarely-used dining table, with a blue and yellow marshmallow horse on either side of you this time
  1511. >They were Breezy Skies and Solar Sprint, a pegasus and unicorn, respectively
  1512. >They were what you could tentatively call "guy friends," despite being fruitier than a juice box in a Florida YMCA tub after a bath-bomb-blitz
  1513. >From your perspective, of course
  1514. >To them, you were an unrepentant "Janefilly," apparently, and thus the fruit in this equation you all called a friendship
  1515. >Though considering how they were sipping their drinks-with-ten-syllables and glaring into the middle distance, you weren't too sure if you still were friends
  1516. >... Nah, you were fine
  1517. >This happened every once in a while, ususally after you turn down whatever poorly-veiled invitation to one of Canterlot's MANY spas and spa-like businesses they thought up that month
  1518. >You honestly weren't sure what you did this time, though
  1519. >Breezy sets down his drink and huffs before turning to you, wings ruffling in agitation
  1520. >Apparently your confusion was visible, or they realized the silent treatment didn't work
  1521. >"Come on, Anon. You were dating the Princess of Love and the Captain of the Guard for weeks, and you only JUST thought to tell us? I thought we were friends!"
  1522. >Oh, that's what it's about
  1523. >Shoulda known
  1524. [spoiler]>Thought you were sharper than this, Anon
  1525. >Jesus Christ[/spoiler]
  1526. >You shake your head
  1527. "Well, we were kinda trying to keep a low profile for the most part. And besides, we went public, what, two weeks ago? This is the first time I've seen you two since then."
  1528. >Ha, how do you like that taste of logic, whimsical-horse-man!
  1529. >Apparently he didn't like it, because Breezy nearly slammed his drink down on the table
  1530. >Well, as close to slamming as one can get with wings
  1531. >"Exactly! Two weeks, Anon! TWO. WEEKS. It took you two weeks to tell us about this!"
  1532. >The little horse crosses his forelegs in a way you're pretty sure is impossible, and pouts
  1533. >You resist the Scrunch-Field such a disregard for anatomical physics produces, and concede that he may possibly have a point
  1534. >Barring that date at the movies, you were kind of just sitting on your hands here
  1535. >Well, that and introducing yourself to Glim-Glam's parents, one of whom you /think/ likes you, and the other... maybe isn't plotting your death?
  1536. >You really aren't too sure of what to make of Mr. Night Light's quick exit
  1537. >Wait, you've lost track
  1538. >Is this HELPING or HURTING your case for not telling them you were in a relationship now?
  1539. >Just as you were about to ask Breezy to repeat the question, you were interrupted by the doorbell ringing
  1540. >Now that's odd
  1541. >It can't be the girls, as they'd just use the key you gave them and let themselves in if they were coming to visit
  1542. >You weren't expecting any other guests, and ponies ususally had a surprisingly healthy respect for privacy
  1543. >Hell, you've only had to deal with a couple questions from reporters since the cat got out of the bag, not beat them off with a stick like you thought you'd have to
  1544. >And they NEVER followed you home
  1545. >Ponies could be odd at times
  1546. >Oddness aside, the fact of the matter was that you just didn't get visitors that often
  1547. >And yet here you are, with one ostensibly right outside your door
  1548. >Well, better get that
  1549. >Papanon didn't raise no bitch
  1550. >No sirree
  1551. "Hello-WHAT THE FUCK!?"
  1552. >"Anon, darling! C'mere, you big lug, we have a PARTY to get to!"
  1553. >Faster than you could react, the tinkling light of unicorn magic -you couldn't catch the color- lanced in through the open door before -somehow- finding purchase on you and PULLING YOU OUT THE DOOR
  1554. >OHSHITWHATTHEFUCK
  1555. >YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IMMUNE TO THIS MAGICAL BULLSHIT!
  1556. "I THOUGHT I WAS IMMUNE TO THIS MAGICAL BULLSHIT!"
  1557. >What he said!
  1558. [spoiler]>Oh, wait
  1559. >That was you
  1560. >What you said![/spoiler]
  1561. >You reflexively squirm, trying to escape whatever intangible BULLSHIT that's grasped you, but not really expecting much...
  1562. >But instead, you were pleasently surprised to find yourself... turning?
  1563. "Interesting..."
  1564. >It seems the unicorn's Grip was on your CLOTHES, not on YOU
  1565. >Wew, good
  1566. >You weren't quite prepared to give up your immunity just yet
  1567. >It was just so much FUN messing with the little ponies
  1568. >...Your "bitch-or-not-bitch" status didn't seem to be factoring into the equation as much as you thought it would
  1569. (Anon meets Night Light, gets dragged into a quasi-bachelor party. Anon asks why he would be jumping to conclusions like that, but Night Light responds by asking what stallion would say no to herding with the Princess of Love, and the captain of the royal guard. It's simply a forgone conclusion to him, and he claims to have more eyes among Canterlot than most would believe, and its obvious that his daughter loves Anon.)
RGRE Cadance Gleaming Shield Anonymous Herding unfunny memes

[RGRE] Cadance, Gleaming Shield, and Anon

by Tinfoot