The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves Season 3 Episode 3


                                            The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves:


                                            Based on the art of WapaMario63:

                                            https://ponybooru.org/profiles/WapaMario63


                                            Season 3 episode 3: Twilight and Derpy’s book club!


                                            October: 29, 3027


                                            Twilight:


                                            > Twilight leaned forward.

                                            > The blade of her chest pressed against her desk, and eye plugged into a magic detecting microscope.

                                            > Her barrel and neck were stressed.

                                            > Her teats, pursed inside a large blanket and tied just above her tail anchored her backside to the floor.

                                            > Moving was difficult for the mare.

                                            > Straining her neck and shoulders forward was easier for her than dragging the immense weight of her milk throbbing teats even slightly forward.


                                            > On the microscope stage lay an elephant tanned pebble.

                                            > With her left hoof she jotted what she identified


                                            > “Small amber crystals glowing only slightly along the stones surface indicate decades of magical decay. Instances are sparse, making identification impossible. When I adjust my 3022 students microscope to its maximum magnification the crystals can be seen clearly. Further research required.”


                                            > Twilight then removed her eye from the microscope.

                                            > She removed the pebble from the stage and placed it into a small glass jar.

                                            > She held it close to her eyes and squinted.


                                            “Strange.” She muttered “This rock looks perfectly normal. But it's coated in a magical energy I’ve never seen before.”


                                            > She began to tap the glass with her hoof


                                            “It’s


                                            > “So I did good?” Scootaloo asked, flapping her wings


                                            > Twilight turned around where Scootaloo bounced gayly

                                            > The mare was so engaged in her work that she forgot Scootaloo hadn’t left yet.


                                            “You did very well.” Twilight nodded


                                            > “Maybe I’ll get a cutie mark in geology!” The filly beamed


                                            “Or trespassing.” Twilight grumbled


                                            > “Sorry?” The filly asked


                                            “Nothing!” Twilight chuckled, patting the flightless filly along the head “You did very well.”


                                            > “Thanks!” The filly replied


                                            “So where exactly did you find this?”


                                            > “I found it right outside the entrance to the Old Ponyville mine. I can get you more if you want!”


                                            > Twilight started across the room.

                                            > Eyes glued on the peculiar specimen.


                                            > “T..Twilight?” The mare called


                                            > Twilight brought the rock to her workbench and added it to her Old Ponyville Investigation collection.

                                            > A small table near the kitchen consisting of all the information she could get her hooves on relating to the forgotten village.


                                            > In her collection she held onto a couple employee records, a yellowed map of the town, and single picture of Derpy and her parents at Sweet Apple Acres.

                                            > Twilight placed the stone sample along the desk under the essentially empty cork board where she had pinned her frustratingly small collection of information.


                                            > Twilight scanned her study.

                                            > Touching her hoof to her chin, trying to make sense of this mystery.


                                            > “Twilight? Are you going to pay me now or…?”


                                            > Twilight snapped her neck to Scootaloo


                                            “Scootaloo, could you grab me more rocks? This time from inside of the mine?”


                                            > Scootaloo squinted at Twilight, giving her a glare of worried disbelief at the suggestion.


                                            > “I don't know Twilight. Ponies aren't really supposed to go down there. I could get in big trouble even going near the mine. And I don’t even know if I could get inside. It’s locked REALLY tight. I would need some sort of motorized device to open it. I don’t know ANYPONY with the technical know how to make something like that.”


                                            > Scootaloo’s eyes jumped from the floor to Twilights


                                            > Twilight stared blankly at the filly

                                            > She was never good at social cues

                                            > And something as layered as a subtle negotiation was way out of her skill level


                                            > Scootaloos eyes bounced back and forth faster

                                            > Twilight just stared at her blinking occasionally.


                                            “Are your eyes okay?”


                                            > “Yes…”


                                            “Then stop messing around! I would go myself if my back end wasn't so heavy!”


                                            > Scootaloo crossed her hooves and rolled her eyes


                                            > “Will you pay me double?”


                                            “Are you crazy!?”


                                            > “Do you want more rocks or not?”


                                            “Fine, I’ll pay double.” Twilight grumbled


                                            > “Then it’s a deal!”


                                            > Twilight grumbled as she walked to her podium.

                                            > Scootaloo sure knew how to shake a pony down for every last bit.


                                            “If I had to guess, your special talent is probably bartering.” Twilight hissed


                                            > Twilight opened the podium and gave the filly her payment, then escorted her to the door.

                                            > Once the door was closed, Twilight shuffled to the kitchen


                                            “Shaken down by a child.” Twilight muttered “How low can you get, Twilight?”


                                            > Twilight opened then went to the fridge where she had stored her leftover Mchoofies milkshake from last night's binge.


                                            “Milkshake?” Twilight called out to Marble, who was laying atop her tummy on the opposite end of the room.


                                            > Marbles tummy started to grumble from across the room.


                                            “I’ll take that as a yes.”


                                            > Smiling, Twilight levitated two extra large Hoofies cookies and cream milkshakes from the fridge above her head.

                                            > As she trotted across the room, she kicked off the blanket around her teats.


                                            > Once reached the opposite end of the room, she ascended a small portable stairway leading to Marbles head and body.

                                            > Her teats slapping agains’t the metal steps as she climbed to the top.


                                            > When she finally reached the top step, Twilight planted Marble’s milkshake in Marbles soft belly fat near her lips so the mare could comfortably sip from the straw without having to crane her neck.


                                            > Twilight raised her cup above her head


                                            “Cheers.” She sighed


                                            > After Marble nodded in agreement, the two began feverishly sucking down their shakes.

                                            > Ever since Twilight introduced her to milkshakes, Marble simply couldn’t get enough of them.

                                            > She much preferred Twilight's diet over what Pinkie used to bring her.

                                            > Still, she worried about her sister.


                                            > Pinkie’s last visit to the library was now over a month ago.

                                            > The pink pony had vanished from everypony’s life, leaving Marble to wonder she went.

                                            > Marble was completely immobilized, and Twilight never left the house unless for food. Leaving her sheltered to the outside world similarly to how she was sheltered when she lived in the Barrens.

                                            > Though, she doesn’t remember any of that life anymore.


                                            > In Pinkies absence. Twilight became Marble’s primary care mare.

                                            > At first, Twilight didn’t like taking care of Marble. But she quickly grew to enjoy the position.

                                            > Marble wasn't a picky eater and the two enjoyed the same type of foods.


                                            > Though, it was obvious that Twilight's “unique” diet was taking effect on Marble, making her tummy expand faster and grow hungrier.

                                            > When Pinkie used to buy food for Marble, she would deliver a wagon of fruits and vegetables every day.

                                            > But that quickly stopped when Twilight became her primary caregiver.

                                            > Because Twilight doesn’t like any of those fruits or vegetables.


                                            > She prefers fries, hayburgers, cookies, doughnuts, chips and milkshakes.

                                            > Twilight also loves fast food.

                                            > And she was really happy when the first Mchoofies in Ponyville opened just down the street from the library.

                                            > Twilight, despite growing up in a high income household. Practically lived off fast food.


                                            > When she moved to Ponyville, the town had not a single fast food establishment

                                            > And it wasn’t until Filthy began his secret project, bringing all his rich pony friends to Ponyville and gentrifying the village did Ponyville have any chains.


                                            >Of course the fast food wasn’t good for the native ponyvillians, whose genetic makeup was proving sensitive to the foods hormones and fats.

                                            > Coupled with the milk epidemic.

                                            > Any mare native to the town who indulged in either of these high class hobbies was either growing massive tummies, or experiencing teat growth, or both

                                            > The mares in Ponyville really were proving Twilight’s “Community wide teat hypothesis” to be beyond sociological.

                                            > The ponies here really were another species of pony

                                            > Ponyville is nothing but a town of reject, mutant cow ponies.


                                            > But back to Twilight.

                                            > Her love of fast food is so great, that once a week she orders a hundred and fifty bits worth of fries, hay burgers, milkshakes and ice cream from Mchoofies and gorges herself from midnight to dawn.


                                            > This was Twilight's way of rewarding herself after a hard work week.

                                            > Marble of course loved, Mchoofies.

                                            > Unlike Twilight, who has a storied history with burgers and fries.

                                            > Marble had never tried fast food until Twilight introduced her to it’s greasy goodness.

                                            > But once she had her first bite of a fat dripping Mchoofies quarter pounder with extra butter. The mare became just as addicted to greasy fast food as Twilight.


                                            > In only a month the two began to see eye to eye (or tummy to tummy) On how they should organize their diet.

                                            > For breakfast, they would each drink two four liter soda bottles and inhale a box of Wonderbolts marshmallow cereal.

                                            > A cereal marketed to children, consisting of more marshmallows than actual cereal, that when milk was added, would turn turn the milk from white into slimy blue and yellow matter.


                                            > Lunch was either two large cheese stuffed crust pizzas or Twilight's homemade cheese filled butter burritos.

                                            > And dinner was always reserved for Mchoofies.

                                            > Which they gorged themselves into a coma with nearly every night.


                                            > One may think a pony with these eating habits would make a pony slothful.

                                            > But not Twilight.

                                            > Even though she was eating enough food to clog the arteries of a hippopotamus. She was anything but.

                                            > This was because no matter how much Twilight ate, she was still the same old paranoid, OCD Twilight she always was.

                                            > She recognized (as unraveled she has become over the past two months.) That her habits were unbecoming of an outstand mare like herself and was very diligent in making sure nopony found out about her eating unsightly habits.


                                            > She never left wrappers lying around the library, and always paid different ponies to deliver her Mchoofies.

                                            > Twilight also made sure to take out her garbage at night when everypony was asleep and used only paper bags, which she stapled shut so the garbage ponies wouldn’t see her soda bottles and cereal boxes.


                                            > Of course, the physical tolls which come with such a diet were harder to hide.

                                            > While Twilight exerted all this effort into hiding her gluttony.

                                            > The mares her pale, acne ridden face and large flabby gut was impossible to conceal.

                                            > She was a grease smelling sweat, radiating butter tub.

                                            > Constantly perspiring leaving her face, pits and other crevices slathered in slimy sweat.


                                            > The mare had never been a picture of either mental or physical health.

                                            > Her college years were especially bad(when she picked up most of these awful dietary habits.)

                                            > But even then she hid her dysfunction behind a mask of normality.

                                            > Twilight didn’t have the faculties to hide her true nature anymore.

                                            > She wasn’t just a college student anymore

                                            > She was Celestia's prized student, the town's moral authority and a representative to Canterlot.


                                            > Her stress, which is largely understood to be the catalyst for the mare's worst habits, had now become unsustainable.

                                            > And the culmination of her obscene diet, insomnia and constant stress made her look like a sickly.


                                            > Twilight was no different than Marble in many respects

                                            > And while she often diluted herself to believe otherwise

                                            > They were both sickly addicted to the pleasure of food

                                            > The only difference between the two was the reason.

                                            > One of these mares had the potential to heal

                                            > The other did not.

                                            ______________________________________________________


                                            > Twilight, now leaning her gut into Marble’s. Chugged her milkshake as fast as she could, inhaling the sweet sugary beverage.


                                            “So, did you overhear my conversation with Scootaloo?”


                                            > Marble nodded “no” not ceasing the straw from her mouth for a moment


                                            “Well, not to brag or anything, nut the sample Scootaloo brought from the Old Ponyville mine is coated in magic!”


                                            > Marble smiled at Twilight, urging her to continue

                                            > Marble loved to see Twilight get excited like this.

                                            > She found it cute.


                                            “I haven't been able to identify the magical properties active in the specimen. But this proves my theory that whatever they were mining wasn't minerals! But some kind of rare magical element!” Twilight explained, passionately slamming her hoof along Marbles tummy like it was her podium.


                                            “The Old Ponyville question started as a passion project. A simple inquiry into the town's history I began investigating when I first moved here. But now it’s proving to be of much higher significance, and may lead to why the ponies who live here have adapted such unusual features!”


                                            > Twilight slammed her hoof agains’t the mares belly causing Marbles belly to ripple like a balloon.

                                            > In response to the assault, Marbles stomach started to growl and ripple on its own.

                                            > Which in turn, caused Twilight's tummy to do the same. Because Twilight was leaning her belly along Marbles.

                                            > As the sensation moved through Twilight, she began to moan and squirm.

                                            > The rippling waves of hunger now traveling through her proved intense, creating wavelike tremors across her own stomach.


                                            > The two mares, with their straws fixed between their cream covered lips, looked down at their stomachs interacting with one another through wave-like movements and deep churning sounds.


                                            > The mares locked eyes


                                            “That actually feels really nice.” Twilight said


                                            > Their bellies both grumbled and laboured together in a strange dance

                                            > Almost like they were communicating with one another.

                                            > Marble didn’t make much fuss about it and continued drinking her shake.

                                            > But for Twilight, the sensation was orgasmic


                                            > Her stomach squealed and groaned as it fell to the consistency of jelly, harshly sputtering in all directions and creating aggressive waves like one would see on the ocean during a wicked storm.


                                            > The sensation lasted only a minute, leaving Twilight a sweaty, trembling, wide eyed mess.


                                            > Twilight stared at her trembling hooves in shock and confusion.

                                            > Her mind was blank for the first time in fifteen years

                                            > And all that she could see in her minds eye were words “belly high” In large bold letters along her brain.


                                            “W…W…What was that!?” She huffed, holding her hoof along her heart “Did you feel that!?”


                                            > Marble gave Twilight a confused glare


                                            > Twilight’s eyes bounced between her tummy and Marble.


                                            “Is that how you feel all the time!?” Twilight asked with amazement in her voice


                                            > Marble shrugged, arching her neck away from the mare with beady, crazed eyes.


                                            > Twilight felt the crescendo of the belly high produced drain from her mind and body

                                            > And as ended as quickly as it began.

                                            > She was sober.


                                            > Twilight, now feeling normal again, quickly fell to embarrassment and started to laugh awkwardly, with eyes up and away from her friends concerned expression.


                                            “I’m sorry about that…I don’t know what came over me…” She chuckled


                                            > Twilight picked up her milkshake and began to drink.

                                            > The library became a desert

                                            > All that could be heard was the commotion of wagons and chatter outside.

                                            > On the once quiet, now traffic clogged Ponyville streets.


                                            > Twilight placed her milkshake back on Marbles stomach.


                                            “You know…I haven’t seen Pinkie all month….Has she popped in at all?” Twilight asked, hoping to release herself from the clutches of awkwardness.


                                            > Marble nodded no


                                            “I guess that means I’m buying groceries for two AGAIN.” Twilight replied


                                            > Marbles stomach groaned, sending another, smaller jolt of waves through Twilights tummy


                                            > Twilights pupils shrunk once again

                                            > She looked down at her belly

                                            > A cracked smile peeled along her cheeks as she rand her hooves along the waves of her stomach, intensifying the bodily high


                                            “Just the essentials though.” Twilight continued, giggling and squirming as she clenched her hooves along her belly, trying to “catch” the ripples along herself  “Getting around with these massive teats is like lugging two boulders.” She laughed


                                            > Twilight began to think out loud


                                            “I think I’ll buy a couple cakes from sugar cube corner…A few tubs of ice cream…Some of those highly processed individually wrapped pastries with the cream filling ….That should keep us full for at least a day.”

                                            > Marbles stomach grew louder and Twilight giggled as the sensation vibrated through her


                                            > Twilight’s eyes unlocked from her tumultuous tummy, quickly turning and locking onto Marbles purple peepers.


                                            “And…And…Maybe some Mchoofies?”


                                            > Marble’s stomach

                                            > Twilight stretched her legs and hugged Marbles massive belly, her stomach felt like a waterbed.

                                            > Twilight clenched her hooves and closed her eyes.


                                            “You're just so soft…And warm…” Twilight moaned “I think..I…..I…”


                                            > Milk began to leak from Twilights teats and cascade down Marbles belly

                                            > Twilight began to feel heat between her legs, which caused cum to flush down her legs

                                            > But Twilight didn’t care

                                            > She was riding this new sensation to its natural conclusion.


                                            > “M…Marble…” Twilight gripped Marbles belly fat “B…Buck…I’m so…Bucking…Horny….”


                                            > Twilight released a heavy amount of cream from both her teats and her

                                            > Like last time, the sensation ended abruptly, leaving the mares mind wiped


                                            > Marbles stomach growled again, but it had no effect

                                            > Twilight’s mind and body were cooked

                                            > She had expunged all of her pleasure chemicals form her brain

                                            > Her nerves had been bled dry.


                                            > After a long moment, Twilight removed her sweaty cheek from Marbles sticky tummy


                                            “Oh my gosh….That did not feel good.” Twilight said, putting her hoof on her head


                                            “I mean it did..But…Maybe a little too good.”


                                            > When her eyes finally met Marble she had hooves crossed under her neck


                                            “What? What’s with that look?”


                                            > Marble’s belly grumbled


                                            > Twilight threw her hooves over her tummy


                                            “Please don’t do that.” Twilight whined in pain


                                            > Marbles stomach groaned again, this time more gentle


                                            “What do you mean? I was only out for a minute.”


                                            > “What do you mean four hours!?”


                                            > Twilight shot up and saw that her milkshake had melted into a sour smelling paste.


                                            “No…That doesn’t make sense…I was just…A minute ago I was…”


                                            > Marble then grabbed Twilight's head and pointed it far to the left, revealing to Twilight a large pool of milk along the floor.


                                            “What the heck happened!?”


                                            > Marble flicked Twilights head over shoulder and saw that her teats were leaking


                                            > Marbles belly squealed


                                            “They’ve been doing that since I fell asleep!?” Twilight cried


                                            > Twilight jumped from Marbles belly and shuffled backwards down the stairs.


                                            > Once on solid ground, Twilight fell to her flank and watched her teats slowly drip

                                            > It was a slow drip

                                            > About a droplet every couple seconds

                                            > But small drops add up

                                            > And if she was unconscious for as long as Marble said she was and the size of the puddle.

                                            > Twilight’s teats had been leaking like this for a long time.


                                            > Twilight picked her right teat off the floor and began to shake it


                                            “Why won’t they stop!”


                                            > Doing this caused milk to spray everywhere


                                            > Twilight got up and started to pace


                                            “Did i push myself too far? I couldn’t have…Lactation incontinence doesn’t happen from orgasms? Does it? I mean…These aren’t normal teats. These were magically conceived by Celestia herself…Maybe this has to do with me becoming more of “citizen” In Ponyville. Maybe my body isn’t tolerating the stress of these changes…”


                                            > Marbles grumpy belly interrupted with a loud gurgle


                                            > Twilight turned back to the mare


                                            “What!? Can’t you see I’m having a crisis!?”


                                            > Marble pointed to the trail of milk she was creating while she paced


                                            “It won’t stop…It just won’t stop…” Twilight trembled


                                            > Twilight hid her face behind her hooves.

                                            > Using her magic, she grabbed a mop and a bucket from the closet and began to clean the floor


                                            > Her eyes fixed on her teats


                                            “Why are they doing this!” She cried


                                            > Twilight looked up at Marble


                                            “Do we have any tape?”


                                            > Marble rolled her eyes


                                            > A knock on the door


                                            “Now who could that be!”


                                            > Marbles stomach growled


                                            “Derpy?”


                                            > Marbles gut replied with a deep sarcastic grumble


                                            “It’s Tuesday? No…It can’t be Tuesday already.”


                                            > Twilight squinted into the kitchen at her calendar where she had a big circle on todays date.


                                            “Oh no. It's….”


                                            > “Twilight! Open up! It's book club day!” Derpy shouted from beyond the door


                                            “Damn it! I didn't think she even knew how to read!” Twilight muttered


                                            > Twilight released the mop and it fell to the floor.

                                            > She then dragged herself o the door and answered it.


                                            > “Hi, Twilight! I got you a milkshake.”


                                            > Muffins shoved the milkshake into Twilights chest


                                            “Thanks, Muffins. But can this maybe wait?”


                                            > “Wait? But…I’ve been waiting all week…How much longer do I have to wait?”


                                            “Just a couple minutes. I had a bit of an accident.”


                                            > “What kind of accident?”


                                            “I spilled some…Milk.”


                                            > “Oh! Thats okay!” Derpy shoved the door open


                                            “I spill milk all the time!”


                                            > Derpy trotted into the library and sat at the table


                                            > She removed her book from her bag and held it in her hooves


                                            > Twilight grabbed the milking machine from the closet


                                            > “That’s a big mess Twilight! What happened!? Is that your milk?”


                                            > “No…That’s…Marbles!”


                                            > Marble jerked her head in shock


                                            > “I didn’t know Marble did that.” Derpy replied, pressing her hoof to her lips “It’s a good thing you bought that milking machine!”


                                            “Yeah, great…” Twilight huffed


                                            > “I guess I’m not the only pony who will be using it now!”


                                            > Twilight pulled down Derpy's bra and attached the suction cup to her right chest teat


                                            > “So….I read the book for our book club.” Derpy said holding an issue of “How Equestria Colonized Zebrica.” Over her face.


                                            “And, what did you think?” Twilight asked


                                            > “Well…I thought it was kinda confusing…I don’t know much about Zabrica….It was never taught about that at school….In fact, I didn't even know it was a real place until a couple years ago. A letter arrived at the post office with a return address from a place called Zigeria.”


                                            > Twilight screwed the cup tight around Derpys nipple, then moved onto her right chest teat.


                                            “Well, “How Equestria Colonized Zebrica is a highly acclaimed book about power, politics and unregulated capitalism. It's a well respected publication, praised for its in- depth review of Zebrica…”


                                            > “It was porn.”


                                            “E…Excuse me?”


                                            > “The letter from Zebrica was porn. I opened it to see if it was…Like….Real…You understand, right? In case it was a prank?”


                                            “Derpy, I don't usually  understand what you're talking about.” Twilight grumbled, attaching the suction cup to Derpy’s left chest nipple.


                                            > “It turns out it wasn't a prank! Just a dirty magazine with a bunch of big black and white penises.”


                                            “Yes…Well….I hope that was the first and final time you opened another pony's mail.”


                                            > Twilight walked over to the machine then turned it to its lowest setting.


                                            “The magazine was addressed to….”


                                            > Derpy thought hard, tapping her forehead with a closed hoof


                                            > “Mayor Mare!” She cheered


                                            “Mayor mare is into zebra porn?”


                                            > “I guess.” Derpy shrugged


                                            > The room fell silent and an awkwardness filled the room.

                                            > Derpy held her book under her chin, tapping her hooves along its tattered cover.


                                            “Are you…thirsty?” Twilight asked


                                            > “No. I drank a milkshake at mchoofies before I got here.”


                                            > Twilight leaned back in her chair then lifted her teat to her mouth and began to drink from herself.


                                            > “Actually…” Derpy began


                                            > Twilight popped her teat from her mouth


                                            “Water, Muffins. I was offering you water.”


                                            > “Oh…O…Okay…N…never mind. Then.”


                                            > Derpy stared at the floor


                                            “I’m only doing this because I have to.” Twilight replied “Mare milk seems to stave off cravings better than cow's milk. Celesta knows why.”


                                            > Twilight shoved her teat back in her mouth and drank from herself

                                            > Derpy watched Twilight

                                            > Her milk rushing through the tubes

                                            > The image of Twilights exposed teats in her mouth was incredibly erotic to the mare.


                                            > “Twilight?”


                                            “Yes, Muffins?” She replied with her nipple still in her gums


                                            > “While we’re on the subject…Have you ever met a zigger?”


                                            > Twilight jumped

                                            > She dropped her teat in shock

                                            > Milk splashed across Derpys face and body, but the grey mare didn't flinch.


                                            “A what!?”


                                            > “You know….A zigger? I..I don't know about the ones in Zebrica. But I’ve heard that the ones in Equestria like to rob ponies.”


                                            “Derpy! That’s insane, why in…”


                                            “Of their virginity.” Derpy whispered


                                            “Where did you hear this?” Twilight asked sternly


                                            > “Pinkie. She was robbed by one at work and said that she was just minding her own business at the bakery when one robbed her.”


                                            “A zebra robbed Pinkie of her virginity?” Twilight said with skepticism


                                            > “Oh no! Pinkie lost her virginity long ago to Mr. Cake!”


                                            > “And how do you know that?”


                                            > Derpy began to wipe her face, occasionally licking the milk from her hoof.


                                            “Muffins! Stop drinking it!” Twilight shouted


                                            > “Why? It actually tastes pretty good.” Derpy nodded “kind of like a Mchoofies milkshake!”


                                            > Twilights horn started to glow and a towel levitated in front of Derpy.


                                            > “So, how do you know about Pinkie and Mr. Cake?”


                                            > Twilight started wiping the mares face with the towel


                                            “I watched their entire relationship through the letters they would send one another.” Derpy chuckled


                                            “Again with the invasion of privacy!” Twilight replied, “It’s a miracle you weren’t fired sooner!”


                                            > Twilight tossed the towel onto the floor beside Derpy


                                            > “The zigger stole something WAY worse than Pinkie's virginity.”


                                            “And what could that possibly be?”


                                            > “The last box of muffins.” Derpy said with complete seriousness


                                            “Of course.” Twilight replied, rolling her eyes


                                            > “He stole over a dozen muffins!” Derpy shuddered “And I know he did because I had just finished my mail route and wanted to stop in at Sugar Cube corner for my daily dozen. But when I got there, Pinkie was lying along the counter covered in stallion spunk! Initially, I thought everything was normal until she told me she was robbed! and that one of those stripped fiends had stolen a hundred bits from the register, and all their muffins!”


                                            > Derpy had the look of a thousand yards


                                            “I had to go an entire day without a single muffin…”


                                            > Twilight lifted her teat near her face

                                            > Her nipple was still bubbling with milk.

                                            > It just wouldn’t stop.


                                            “How do you know that Pinkie didn't sell the muffins before you arrived?” Twilight asked, flicking her nipple


                                            > “Oh! She would never, Twilight! Pinkie ALWAYS reserves a box for me…It’s kinda a rule.”


                                            “To my knowledge, Pinkie breaks over several decency laws a week. You think she's above selling “reserved” muffins?”


                                            > “Twilight, this is MUCH bigger than the law.”


                                            “Oh, really?” Twilight replied


                                            > Twilight used her magic to pull one of the tubes off Derpy's right chest teat and placed it in her own


                                            > “Yes!” Derpy cried “It’s like…Common sense! A..A…Celestial decree!”


                                            > Twilight tightened the suction cup over her nipple and watched the milk drain into the tube.


                                            “Pinkie gives blowjobs for sticks of bubblegum to hide the smell of blowjobs lingering on her breath. Pinkie also tricks ponies to cheat on each other so she can blackmail them.  Are you sure Pinkie didn't just sell the muffins before you got there? Does it REALLY seem out of character for Pinkie to prioritize profit over morality? And furthermore, there is no “Celestial Decree” Which states that “Derpy Hooves” Is obligated muffins.”


                                            > “Yes there is.” Derpy said in the most serious tone Twilight had ever heard from the mare

                                            > Twilight suddenly felt nervous

                                            > Like she had crossed a line with the mare

                                            > Twilight, looked down at the tube and saw that her milk had slowed

                                            > She then removed it from her teat and placed it back on Derpy's leaking right nipple.


                                            “Derpy….Look…Can we back up a bit?”


                                            > Derpy nodded “Sure, Twilight!”


                                            “Why were you going through every pony's mail in the first place?”


                                            > “I was just making sure they weren't sending pranks.” Derpy nodded


                                            > Twilight threw her hooves along her cheeks and began to rub them in frustration


                                            “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT!?” Twilight snapped “Why would ponies send letters as pranks!?”


                                            > Twilights nipples began to leak again

                                            > She removed the tubes from both Derpy's teats and placed it on her own

                                            > Twilight was starting to consider buying a second milk machine if her teats didn’t let up.


                                            > “Because ponies are always playing pranks…A…And I know pranks can be fun and all….But the mail is serious business Twilight! You can't be fooling around with it.”


                                            > Twilight began to tap the plastic suction cup attached to her right teat.


                                            “I have a feeling you have more internalized traumas than you’re even aware of.”


                                            > “Well at least I’m not a muffin stealing zigger.” Derpy grumbled


                                            “Stop saying that word!”


                                            > Derpy thought for a long moment


                                            > “What….Zigger?”


                                            “Yes!”


                                            > Twilight threw her hooves into the air, accidentally knocking the suction cup off her right nipple.

                                            > Milk started to drain onto the floor.

                                            > She quickly grabbed it and reattached it.


                                            “Haven’t you learned anything from the book!?”


                                            > “The book?”


                                            > Derpy looked down at the book


                                            > “Oh, yeah! The book! I actually learned a lot!”


                                            “Such as?” Twilight asked, tightening the suction cup to her nipple.


                                            > Derpy thought


                                            > “I learned that ziggers….”


                                            “ZEBRAS.” Twilight corrected


                                            > “Yeah…Zebras.” Derpy replied, feeling embarrassed but not exactly sure why “I learned that a long time ago ZEBRAS.”

                                            > Derpy winked at Twilight


                                            “Bucking kill me.” Twilight groaned, falling back I to her chair and sliding down the seat


                                            “I learned that zebras liked to eat this one kind of shrub…But when Pegasi discovered Zebrica they took all the land for themselves. And kicked the zebras form their homes.”


                                            “And how do you suppose that should make you, as a Pegasi feel?”


                                            > Derpy thought for another long moment


                                            > In fact, Derpy was taking so long to answer, that Twilight began rotating the suction cup along her nipple boredly.


                                            > “Hungry?” Derpy finally replied


                                            “No!” Twilight shot, pulling herself from her slouched position.


                                            > Derpy looked nervous and began sliding her hooves along the book.

                                            > Milk started to rush from her teats.

                                            > Twilight popped the tubes from her nipples and reapplied them to Derpy’s

                                            > While she attached them, Derpy began to speak


                                            > “Twilight. I have to be honest. I mostly read fiction stories about mares getting laid by stallions with penises the size of cucumbers….I actually thought this was going to be some kind of weird interspecies fetish book when you first gave it to me.”


                                            > Twilight collapsed along her teats


                                            “I’m actually going to kill myself.” She mumbled into her tits


                                            > “I don’t read history books! Or Science….Or any of that smart pony stuff!”


                                            > Twilight lifted herself from her breasts


                                            “I can tell. I can seriously tell.” Twilight nodded


                                            > Derpy started to scratch behind her ear


                                            > “Twilight? Have you ever read the book “Guards mare by day, seductress by night?”


                                            “Do I look like a pony who would read something so cheesy?”


                                            > “I’m reading it now! It's about a royal guard mare who tricks the princess into doing her bidding using sex!”


                                            “That would never happen. The Royal guards are sworn to celibacy.”


                                            > “It's not supposed to be realistic, Twilight!” Derpy chuckled, “It's fun!”


                                            “Well I’m not interested. The point of this book club is to teach the citizens of Ponyville. Not “fun.” I know that you’re capable of understanding these books. You just don’t try. You don't engage with the world around you. It’s like you live your life on autopilot!”


                                            > “Yeah…” Derpy nodded


                                            “Are you agreeing with me? Or are you zoned out?”


                                            > “Ummm….Zoned out?”


                                            > Derpy's suction cup popped off.


                                            “This is getting ridiculous!” Twilight cried


                                            > Twilight stood up and manually screwed the suction cup back onto Derpy's teat.


                                            “You know what, Muffins? I’m starting to understand your problem.”


                                            > “You are?”


                                            “Yes! But don't worry! I’ve dealt with this before.”


                                            > “Dealt with what?”


                                            > “It's simple. You just “learn different”


                                            > Derpy started to laugh, causing milk to rush from her teats.


                                            “What’s so funny?” Twilight snarled


                                            > “Isn’t that what you said to Dash?”


                                            “Yes. And I was right! If it wasn't for my alternative teaching strategies she never would have passed her Wonderbolts qualification test.”


                                            > Twilight’s teats started to act up again,

                                            > It seemed that stress was the catalyst for the increased production.

                                            > She removed the suction cup and placed it on her own teat.


                                            > “I’m sorry, Twilight. Bou said I learn differently! You also said that to Dash!”


                                            “So?”


                                            > “The truth is, some ponies just aren't smart. And I’m one of those ponies…I’m sorry, Twilight….I still love you though.”


                                            “I don't believe that for a second! Anypony can learn anything if they really want to.”


                                            > Derpy leaned into Twilight's ear

                                            > Their teats pressing together the closer she leaned


                                            > “Can I tell you a secret?”


                                            “Sure.” Twilight groaned


                                            > “Dash only got into the Wonderbolts because she had Pinkie blackmail Mr. Rich. I saw the photos in the mail.”


                                            “Again with the mail snooping!”


                                            > “It’s true! Before Filthy moved to Ponyville, he lived in….You…That place over there.” Derpy asked point east


                                            > “Over where?”


                                            “You know…The…Like…It starts with a D! D…D…D…”


                                            > Twilight began to think


                                            > “Dodge City!”


                                            “Oh. Yes, I heard he lived there.” Twilight nodded


                                            > “Well, when he lived there. Pinkie went to visit him. And during that visit, she slept with him so Dash would get into the Wonderbolts.”


                                            “Derpy. You're actually starting to annoy me now. What the heck are you talking about!?”


                                            > “Mr. Rich owns the marketing of the Wonderbolts!”


                                            “No. He doesn’t.”


                                            > “Yes he does!”


                                            > Derpys eyes began to shoot across the room


                                            > “See!? See that box of Wonderbolts cereal!?”


                                            > Twilight looked down and away.”


                                            “That's not mine…That's…Marbles.”


                                            > Marbles tummy groaned


                                            “Shut it, Marble.” Twilight hissed


                                            > “I…If you check the back you’ll probably see Mr. Riches seal.”


                                            > Twilight levitated the box and scanned it.

                                            > And there it was

                                            > His cutie mark was stamped on the back of the box


                                            > “Mr. Rich is on the board of directors. He owns all Wonderbolts merchandise. Meaning he has a say in like…Which pony gets into the Wonderbolts or not…He decides if a mare is M..M..Marketable? I…I think…I don't know if I’m using that word right…”


                                            “So, are you telling me that Filthy Rich is accepting sex for applications into Wonderbolt academy?”


                                            > “I guess.” Muffins shrugged “But, that's not something we should be telling other ponies. Like everything said at book club, we keep it between ourselves.”


                                            “And you saw these letters?”


                                            > Derpy nodded in agreement


                                            > “I used to have copies of them…But after the fire…I lost a lot of my things. I still have a couple…If you want to read them.”


                                            > Twilight began to think

                                            > She was amazed Derpy had this information

                                            > She began to wonder what else the mare knew

                                            > She was always skeptical of what the mare said, but perhaps she was wrong.

                                            > Maybe Derpy was a good witness after all.


                                            “Muffins? Can you do something for me?”


                                            > “For you Twilight? Anything!”


                                            “I want to take a trip to Old Ponyville, maybe you can show me around.”


                                            > “I would love that!”


                                            “I would like to see your letter collection.”


                                            > “Umm…Okay….I…I guess we can do that.”


                                            “Perfect! I think this has been a very productive book club meeting.”


                                            > “So…Like…What are we going to do for the book club itself?”


                                            “Sorry?”


                                            > “You always give me homework after book club…What do you want me to do after I leave?”


                                            “Oh, yes! I actually had something planned for you!”


                                            > Derpy clapped her hooves


                                            > “I want you to give back to the zebra community. I know you're financially stressed, so I don't expect you to give money. But maybe raise awareness? Send a letter to a member of Zebra relations? I know how much you love letters!”


                                            > Derpy scratched her ear


                                            “Why would I do that?”


                                            “Because it’s healthy. To…Relinquish yourself of generational guilt.”


                                            > “But I don’t feel guilty.”


                                            “Not even a little?”


                                            > “No…I’ve never even met a zig….I mean…Zebra before.”


                                            “Everypony has guilt about something. You just haven't wrestled with these feelings yet. But don't worry. Good deeds are healing actions. Once you confront your guilt, you’ll feel great!”


                                            > Derpy looked at the floor


                                            > “No.”


                                            “What do you mean “no?”


                                            “I think I’m…Nice to most ponies. And I try to do good.”


                                            > “I think you’re a great pony.” Twilight nodded


                                            > “But I don't feel any better about myself. No matter how hard I try to be “good” And…It's not like things ever work out for me. It's like…The zebras…They were nice, but then they became enslaved and all their stuff was stolen.”


                                            > Twilight scrunched her face


                                            > “I’ve been learning a lot recently. I’ve been talking to new ponies and doing things I never thought I could. I’m more popular than ever. But…Some ponies tell me I’m bad and that what I’m doing is bad. That I should take responsibility for things…Things I don't even understand.”


                                            “Life is complicated.”


                                            > “Life was so much simpler when I was a filly. And there's no amount of heal actions that will fix this mess.”


                                            > Twilight felt sobered


                                            > Her heart began to race


                                            > She placed the suction cup over her nipples


                                            > “Twilight?”


                                            “Yes, Muffins?”


                                            > “Twilight, do you only help ponies because you feel guilty?”


                                            “N…No?”


                                            > “Did you start this book club because you feel guilty about how you treated me?”


                                            “No! Not at all! I designed the book club to help bring ponies back to the library. The library should be a place for community building and learning…You’re just…Well…You're the only pony who actually shows up…”


                                            > Derpy looked down

                                            > She was starting to feel guilty

                                            > But she didn’t know why

                                            > She also started to feel something she never felt for Twilight before

                                            > Pity.

                                            > She decided to try Twilight's idea

                                            > Even though she didn’t like it.


                                            > “Twilight, you’re my friend? Right?”


                                            “Yes, Muffins.”


                                            > “And you're not just saying that?”


                                            “Of course not. I admit that maybe I felt a little guilty at first. But I think I’ve made amends.”


                                            > “W…Why do you say that?”


                                            “Because I did the right thing! I helped you.”


                                            > “You could have just asked for forgiveness.” Derpy muttered


                                            “But would you allow me? If I asked for forgiveness would you accept it?”


                                            > Muffins rubbed her front leg


                                            > “Would you still be my friend if I did?”


                                            > Twilight sighed


                                            > “Yes, Muffins.”


                                            > Derpy hugged Twilight


                                            > “I will always have your back, Twilight. You're my bestest friend.”


                                            “Thanks, Muffins. You too.”


                                            > “T…Twilight…I…I think maybe you're right! Helping the zebras is actually a great idea!”


                                            “Oh, you're just saying that.”


                                            > “No! I think it’s a good cause…A…And I’m going to do something!” Muffins cheered


                                            “Are you sure? You really don't have too. It was only a suggestion.”


                                            > “Twilight. You're my best friend. And if you want me to do this, then I will. I’m going to do something nice for those zig…Zebras.”


                                            > Twilight suddenly felt nervous.