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he Misadventures of Derpy Hooves Season 3 Episode 5
By ShroooomyCreated: 2025-01-16 21:29:23
Expiry: Never
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The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves (and friends!)
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Based on the art of WapaMario63:
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Season 3 Episode 5:
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From Trad Wife To Dairy Cow. A Guide To Loyalty, The Feminine Mind And The Alpha Mindset
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September 12, 3027
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Pinkie Pie:
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> After moving their business from under the central Ponyville park bridge to Trotter hill, Pinkie Pie and Trixie Lulamoon stumbled into what would quickly become their most lucrative business decision, and Ponyvilles most brazen display of degeneracy since Pinkie's now infamous party.
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> The “Two horse wagon” was the collaborative effort by the two money hungry mares.
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> The concept was simple.
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> Instead of opening another brothel, Pinkie wanted to create an experience.
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> The idea hit Pinkie like a jolt of lightning during a cold and quiet night at Mr. Rich’s brothel.
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> Pinkie and Trixie were sitting at the bar in the establishment's lobby.
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> Drinking away the night as they often did on sluggish nights.
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> Pinkie, who was dressed in her favorite outfit.
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> (A black leather girdle with golden buckles and a pair of crotchless panties.)
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> Nursed a bottle of Lunas Laminations red wine.
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> The mare had consumed only a merger of two bottles of wine that night, but was feeling unusually tipsy.
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> Perhaps it was boredom.
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> Or perhaps it was all of the pent up energy the mare usually ruts out during a regular shift at the brothel.
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> Regardless of the reason
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> The mare was buzzing with energy.
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> Pinkie swayed from side to side, using her wine bottle as an anchor.
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> Trixie was seated on the stool to her right.
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> Equally drunk, but far less jovial.
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> The unicorn turned glorified penetrable pool toy leaning along the bar.
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> Resting her face in her crossed hooves
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> “It's such hogwash.” She grumbled “I’m nothing but a damn walking refrigeration unit. A hollow, transparent…Thing!”
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“Sorry?” Pinkie slurred
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> Trixie threw her Front legs into the air
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> “You wanna stick your dick somewhere? Call Trixie!” The mare sang, her voice echoing through the empty bar.
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> “Do you need to keep your sandwich cold? Trixie has a cooling system! You can put your lunch inside Trixie! Do you feel the urge to shove random objects into Trixie while she sleeps because you're drunk!? Feel free! Trixie won’t notice! And when Trixie wakes up, we can watch her fish five pounds of billiard balls from her milk swollen barrel!”
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> Pinkie placed her hoof along the balloon mare’s shoulder.
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“Trixie? Are you drunk?” The mare slurred
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> “Trixie is not only drunk, Trixie is ANGRY! That creep Filthy Rich wants to give me tits! Trixie! Trixie can hold two hundred and fifty liters of milk in her disgusting polyethylene body. Trixie does not need tits! Especially not tits HE wants to give Trixie!”
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“Nr. Rich probably just wants to make you more anatomically correct.” Pinkie suggested
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> “There is nothing”anatomically correct” About having tits the size of tires! Until Trixie came to Ponyville, the biggest tits she had ever seen were made of silicone! And those silicone lumps were only a couple inches thicker than what a NORMAL mare's teats should look like. A NORMAL mare is supposed to be proper. Carrying two modest teats tucked between her thighs. They are supposed to be subtle. Not half the size of your body. No offense Pinkie but all the mares in this town are FREAKS!”
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> Pinkie glared down at her biggest set of teats
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> She started patting them in circular motions.
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“Honestly, I think that I prefer them bigger. It feels SO good when a big, strong stallion squeezes them with all their might and all your milk gushes from like foam from a champagne bottle.”
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> “Yes….Well….Trixie would rather not be a milk machine. You seem to forget that Trixie is a master of the dark arts.”
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“Trixie WAS a master of the dark arts!” Pinkie said, booping her friend's nose. “But now she's my BBFFWB!” (Busty Best Friend Forever With Benefits)
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> “Trixie thinks she needs a better BBFFWB.” The balloon mare groaned.
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“Aw, come on Trixie! You say that now, but after I pour a couple bottles in ya, you and I will be rolling in bed together like an old married couple.”
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> Trixie laid her head along the bar, this time concealing her entire face behind her legs
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> “Let's just go to the milk bar and get loaded on that Best Pony stuff. This place is dead.”
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> Pinkie sunk in her seat
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“You know I’d LOVE to! But Best Pony is getting kinda expensive…Even for me. How about we just get REALLY silly on Filthy’s wine.”
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> “I don't wanna. I’m bored of wine.”
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“Come on Trixie! I’ll let you be on top tonight!” The Pink pony sang
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> “Don't you ever get bored of drunken sex?”
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> Pinkie considered the thought for a second
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“I…don't think that's possible.” She replied, scratching her mane.
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> “Well Trixie does! Before I came to this cursed town I was a performer! A sorcerer! Now, I'm nothing but a floozy! A sexdoll for some rich pervert and his bitter hag of a wife. Face it Pinkie. Ponyville ruined us. And we can't even skip town, because this is the only place in all of Equestria that accepts freaks like us. If Trixie could escape she would. She would live out of her wagon like she used to….But the blasted EDMV won't give it back! And Trixie refuses to leave this armpit of a town without it. Face it Pinkie. We’re two horses without a wagon. We're going to die in this rotten town.”
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> It was at that moment Pinkie thought of her best idea yet.
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> Two horses
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> One wagon
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> It was genius!
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> It took about a day to convince Trixie to help her realize this vision, and another day to get everything ready.
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> But when “Two Mares One Wagon” Opened for the first time atop Trotters Hill.
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> It was an instant success.
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> And why wouldn't it be?
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> The idea was simple, and played into both their talents.
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> Trixie lured crowds to the wagon with an extravagant firework show, and Pinkie operated inside the wagon selling milk and providing her “services” To those in the know
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> Trixie operated the front counter selling fireworks, Pinkie conducted business Inside the wagon.
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> On a normal day, the mares would rake in a decent hundred-three hundred bits.
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> But on a good day, they made near a grand.
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> The two split the money equally, fostering trust between the mares' fractured friendship.
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> It didn't take long for old wounds to heal.
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> Trixie and Pinkie weren't simple business partners anymore.
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> They were friends again.
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> Doing what they loved most.
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> Sleeping around, and scamming ponies out of their hard earned bits.
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> Pinkie, the curly tailed, cloven hoofed, ten titted whore of Ponyville
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> And Trixie, the sentient sex toy of dubious moral character, was cleaning out the pockets of ponyville's most desperate faster than the spa sisters ever could.
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> But of all the spells, scams, potions and meddling in the realm of God through surgery.
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> Friendship was proving to be the greatest magic of all.
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______________________________________
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> It has been eleven days since the grand opening of the “Two Mares One wagon.”
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> And for the first time in Trixies professional life she was getting a taste of legitimate fame and respect.
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> Trixie pulled the wagon up Trotters Hill.
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> Which was the largest of the domed hills north of Ponyville.
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> Pinkie skipped ahead of Trixie.
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> She was ready to rut, wearing her squeaky clean leather crotchless panties and matching corset with the golden buckles.
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> As she trotted ahead, Pinkie noticed Trixie started wearing a smile for the first time since her surgery.
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> She also wore her old wizard's hat and cape.
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> In Pinkie's mind, this signified that the mare was finally starting to feel like herself again.
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> Pinkie felt complete.
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> She hadn't actually helped anypony in a long time.
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> Mostly because Pinkie had given up having actual friends in pursuit of a sustainable lifestyle.
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> Helping Trixie get her groove back felt good.
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> And for a while, she started to look for more ponies to help.
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> But she didn't want to help just anypony
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> She was looking for a special type of pony.
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> A truly desperate pony
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> A pony she could mold into her likeness.
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> A pony who she could make into a friend.
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> Because after blowing off her elements of harmony friends in pursuit of wealth and pleasure.
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> Pinkie was starting to miss having actual friends.
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> Pinkie thought of this as they ascended the hill.
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> Once at the hills peak, Trixie and her started setting up shop.
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> Trixie constructed a stage near the front of the wagon.
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> It was nothing fancy.
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> Just a simple piece of wood over plastic milk crates.
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> But it was easily collapsible and served its purpose well enough.
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> While Trixie built the set for the fireworks show, Pinkie sat inside the wagon, filling three large barrels with her milk.
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> It usually took around thirty to forty minutes to fill all three of the barrels.
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> Pinkie discovered that the more she milked herself the quicker her production became.
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> She calls this “breaking in” her teats.
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> But in reality, she was only giving herself lactation incontinence.
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> Before the sun completely set, and it was nearing time to open. Trixie would go into the wagon to check on Pinkie before lighting the fireworks.
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> Pinkie was often found laying on a twin sized mattress on the floor of the wagon.
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> Except for today
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> Today, Trixie walked in on her friend masturbating.
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> Her corset was undone and all ten of her teats were strapped into a portable milking machine via ten narrow polyethylene tubes.
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> The tubes were strapped along her teats using electrical tape.
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> Her milk traveled from her nipples and into the three large plastic barrels she had placed in the opposite corner of the room.
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> “Are you ready?” Trixie asked, smiling wider than she had in months.
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“Almost.” Pinkie replied “You can light the fireworks now, I should be done ANY minute!” Pinkie replied, furiously flicking her love button
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> Trixie nodded then disappeared behind the curtain and back outside
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> Pinkie watched the transparent plastic barrels filled with her milk.
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> The mares' production rate was growing and her teats were slowly assuming permanent density.
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> No longer were they flaccid pockets of flesh, sinking sadly below her barrel
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> Her teats were now full and functional
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> Her nipples had become perky and the surrounding tissue (the areola) was plump and thick.
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> Pinkie had transformed.
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> She was once a mare who couldn't even feel sensation in her teats.
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> Who couldn’t even produce a drop of her own milk.
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> The pink nymphomaniac with the curly mane and stubby snout was now filling barrels with her milk. And was experiencing lactation-induced pleasure tenfold.
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> The mare was not only becoming addicted to the pleasure of lactating.
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> She was also falling for the wealth she was accumulating from selling her milk.
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> As well as the acclaim her milk was garnering.
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> Pinkie, whose tendency to overindulge in pleasure, coupled with old earth pony genes and her need for constant attention had, through milking, discovered a way to satisfy all of her pleasure seeking needs.
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> Her love of lactation had grown beyond her love of alcohol, sex, drugs, best pony and parties.
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> Because lactation for Pinkie not only brought her great physical pleasure.
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> Lactation also funded all of her other inclinations as well.
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> Pinkie could now afford Best Pony when very little could.
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> She drank the best wine from all of Equestria
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> And ingested all of the imported party drugs she could get her hooves on prior to striking rich.
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> From Germareny to Pone Rico to Viet Nirin.
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> Pinkie was loaded on half the world's intoxicants a hundred percent of the time.
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> Whether she knew it or not.
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> Pinkie started selling her milk at the exact right time and place to achieve this lifestyle.
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> She cornered the market by providing Ponyville with the best and most affordable alternative to the recently dwindling supply of overpriced “Best Pony.”
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> Saving the town from complete withdrawal.
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> With the money she raised, she threw booze soaked parties and drug induced orgies at Filthy's brothel.
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> Of course Filthy was never the wiser.
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> He remained under the impression that Pinkie and Trixie were operating the brothel legitimately instead of what they were actually doing.
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> Pinkie blamed Filthy for his own ignorance.
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> She believed that if really cared about the brothel he would do more than collect his cut at the end of each week.
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> Through her wealth and parties, Pinkie carved herself a name in the Ponyville underground.
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> She wasn't the town bicycle anymore.
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> She was a celebrity.
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> And for the right price, she gave everypony in town the opportunity to screw a local star.
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____________________________
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> Pinkie pulled the tape from her nipples.
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> Like always, there was a little extra milk slowly dripping from her nipples.
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> Pinkie wheeled the machine into the corner of the wagon near the barrels filled with milk.
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> Wearing her leather, gold buckled corset loosely around her barrel, she decided to do some light stretching.
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> As she stretched, she could hear the fireworks going off outside.
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> Pinkie was quite literally bouncing with excitement now.
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> “Come one, come all!” Trixie sang “Come see Trixie’s spectacular firework show!”
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> It only took a couple minutes for a line to form outside the wagon.
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> After ten minutes, a reasonably sized crowd had congregated outside of the wagon
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> Trixie then hopped behind the counter and began to sell her fireworks.
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> Those in “the know” used codewords to purchase bottles of milk, or access the wagon for fifteen minutes of fun with Pinkie.
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> Pinkie sat along the bench with her hooves crossed waiting if her first customer
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> Her sex warm to the touch and dripping a thick waxy substance.
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> Her mammary glands had been broken through overuse, remaining active long after she removed the machine from her barrel.
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> Rivers of milk ran along her teat’s and onto the floor.
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> Pinkie thought nothing of the continuous streams.
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> For all she knew, constant gushing and sloshing is just a symptom of having functional teats
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> The pink pony, who's mind was now swimming in constant serotonin, seemed to forget that the teats consuming the entirety of her torso had appeared there through a black magic spell. Casted with only Ill intentions.
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> She neglected to consider that this same spell had not only given her eight teats. But a flat pointed snout, cloven hooves and a near insatiable appetite.
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> Pinkie Pie, blinded by indulgence, had long forgotten the hourglass still laying along its side in Twilight’s library.
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> She had also forgotten, among other things, that the true love clause which would have turned her back to normal had now expired.
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> Pinkie had turned her curse into a blessing, and had long forgotten the lesson the curse intended to teach.
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> Pinkie, through all of her traumas was less of herself now than she ever was
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> She had turned into a heathen.
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> More beast than mare
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> A mindless pleasure seeking creature with an ever shortening fuse.
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> A glorified cow enjoying every line, drink and rut of her own self destruction.
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> Pinkie placed her floppy pig ear along the wagon, listening to the growing crowd gather outside.
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> Soon, Trixie slammed on the side of the wagon
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> “Customer!” Trixie called
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> Pinkie, sitting along the bed assumed an erect, professional posture.
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> A mare had entered the wagon, a pony who Pinkie had not yet become acquainted with but curiously stood large in the hips and had a face covered in acne.
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> This signified to Pinke that this mare had been a regular consumer of her milk for some time.
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> Pinkie started to wonder why they hadn't met yet?
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> “Hello…” The mare asked “I’m looking to purchase some milk?” The mare's voice was soft , and she had an aversion to eye contact.
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> Pinkie continued to sit along the bench with her teats leaking freely and vagina discharging an unusually thick and slimy female cum between the unzipped lips of her black, leather, crotchless panties.
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“Of course!” Pinkie replied, jumping to her hooves.
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“I just filled these!”
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> Pinkie directed the mares to the corner of the wagon where she stored her freshly squeezed milk.
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> The mare reached back into her saddle bag and retrieved a small pouch
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> Pinkie opened the barrel and filled a mason jar using a ladle
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> The mare looked between Pinkie and the barrels of milk.
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> “Do you fill these all by yourself?” The mare asked
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“Yep!” Pinkie replied, popping the lid onto the mason jar.
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> The mare gave Pinkie her bits
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“You don’t know how much I envy you.” The mare sighed “You have it all.”
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“I know!” Pinkie gushed “Isn’t it crazy!? I just rut everypony I meet and somehow I’m the most popular mare in town!”
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> “Yeah…Strange.” The mare replied with sarcasm in her voice
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> The mare continued to stare at the barrels
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“Ummm…Is there anything else you want?” Pinkie asked
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> “I…I bought the fifteen minutes with Pinkie special.”
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“Oh! That’s great!” Pinkie cheered “I haven’t slept with a mare in days!”
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> Pinkie fell to her back and spread her legs, giving the mare full view of her marebits.
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“Who’s ready for seafood dinner!” Pinkie sang
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> The mare cringed then slowly backed away, flicking her hoof in front of her snout trying to shoo away the smell of Pinkie’s “seafood dinner.”
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> “I actually don’t want to sleep with you. I came here looking for advice.”
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“Advice? No pony’s ever asked me for advice before.”
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> Pinkie threw herself forward and back on her hooves.
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> The mare extended her hoof towards Pinkie.
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> Pinkie shook her hoof
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“What's this all about?” Pinkie asked
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> “My name's Vapor Trail, and I’m looking for work.”
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> “Nice to meet you Vapor! Are you new to Ponyville?”
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> “My husband and I moved here a couple months back. We’re originally from Rainbow Falls.”
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“Oh! I’ve never met a pony from there before!” Pinkie squeed
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> “It’s nice….If you can fly that is.” Vapor said, fluffing her wings.
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“Oooo!” Pinkie sang “So it’s like Cloudsdale?”
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> “It’s a hybrid city. Half pegasi half unicorn.”
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“That’s neat.” Pinkie nodded “Ponyville is an earth pony town, but over the past year we’ve been getting a lot of unicorns from Canterlot….It’s actually crazy how many ponies are moving into town nowadays…” Pinkie thought
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> “Pinkie, can I ask you a really strange favor?”
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“I guess.” Pinkie shrugged
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> “I’m looking to sell…”
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“Sell what? Your body?” Pinkie interrupted
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> “No! Not…Not exactly. I was wondering if you could help me sell my milk.”
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> The mare turned red and looked away
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“Go on.” Pinkie urged
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> “Do I have too?” Vapor whined “It's already so embarrassing!”
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“If you want to work for me I need to trust you.”
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> “Okay…That’s understandable.” The mare muttered “What would you like to know?”
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> Pinkie, excited about the prospect of being an employer, began to think of interview questions she's heard in the past.
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“I guess just tell me about yourself? Why did you move to Ponyville?”
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> “My stallion friend and I moved to Ponyville to make money. We aren’t highly educated or anything, but we’re hard workers. We decided to move here when my husband received a job offer from Filthy factories. Mr. Filthy Rich's company.”
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“I see.” Pinkie thought “And do you have any work experience?”
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> “I’ve waited tables, and worked in retail. My husband has had his hoof in the labour market for the past couple years. So it’s not like we’re hopeless. But Ponyville is turning out to be a tad more expensive than promised
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“I hear you.” Pinkie said, staring down her nipple
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> “Rent has tripled since we moved into our apartment and my husband’s been waiting for Filthy Rich to start excavating the mine. But after months of waiting, I doubt it’s ever going to happen with all the bureaucratic red tape being put in his way.”
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> Pinkie was flicking her nipple boredly
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> “Ummm…Do you have any other questions?”
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> Pinkie dropped her teat
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> In collapsed along her belly with a wet “Plap” noise.
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“Nah! Those are the only ones I remember.” Pinkie giggled “Back when I was looking for work I always just sucked the interviewer off before they asked me any of the serious questions.”
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> “Oh…Okay then…”
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“I guess my biggest question would be why you want to sell milk, besides the financial reasons of course.”
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> “Money is a big reason.” Vapor nodded “But I guess I’m also envious of your lifestyle? If that makes any sense…I always see you partying and throwing your money around without worry. I think it would be nice to have that sort of life. To have…fun.”
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“It’s easy to have fun!” Pinkie cheered “just me er grow up and be happy!”
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> “Yeah….” Vapor said, scratching her ear
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> “The thing is…I wish I could be happy. I really do. But I find that being happy is very hard for me. My therapist says I’m “depressed” And that I’ve been this way for a long time…I was shocked when he told me. But now here I am. It’s been years after my diagnosis and I'm just confused. I don’t know how to NOT be this way. I’m so used to being… “depressed” that I’ve forgotten what happiness feels like.”
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“That’s silly!” Pinkie said “Just stop being depressed!”
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> “That’s what my husband says….And I wish it was that easy.”
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“I’ve never had depression before….Well…Maybe I have.” Pinkie started to think “But it never lasted very long. And if I ever WAS depressed. I always have my ways of picking myself up when I get down!”
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> “Such as?”
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“Usually sex.” Pinkie nodded “Sex or drugs. Do you like drugs?”
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> “Oh…No…I don’t do that sort of thing.”
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“But you want to be a milk mare?” Pinkie asked, raising an eyebrow
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> “Not a “milk mare.” Just a pony who sells her milk on the side to support her family.”
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> Pinkie looked confused than ever
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> “So…Do you think I could do this?”
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> Pinkie started to laugh
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“Of course not! You're a mess!”
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“Oh…I see.” The mare sighed
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> “But not like a fun mess! You're just a sad, pathetic kind of mess!”
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> “Oh…I guess I’ll make my way out.” The mare sniffled
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> Pinkie grabbed Vapor by the hoof
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“Now wait just a minute!” Pinkie said, wiping a tear from her eye “It’s my job to make everypony in Ponyville happy. So I have an even better idea!”
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> “You do?”
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“You can be my protege! You can follow me around, get me coffees, become involved in the lifestyle…”
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> “Your protege? I mean…I appreciate the offer, but I need a paying job. That's why I wanted to be a…”
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“What I’m offering you is even better!”
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> “Better than money?”
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“I’m offering you exposure! And an opportunity to cure your depression.”
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> “There's no cure for depression…” Vapor muttered
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“You say that now. But in four weeks you’ll be so happy you’ll have forgotten you ever had depression!”
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> “I don't know…Like…I said your life looked fun…But to actually do it….No offense, Pinkie. But I don't think I would enjoy it as much as I think I would. I’m a married mare, I’m supposed to be at home with my family…”
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“What do you know about “enjoyment?” You have depression, silly!”
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> Vapor blinked
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> “I guess that's valid?” She thought
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> Pinkie lead Vapor to the bed and shoved onto the mattress
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> “Ouch.”
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“Now, let me see what we're working with!’
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> Pinkie fell to her knees inches from Vapors closed thighs
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“Do you mind?” Pinkie asked
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> “Mind what?”
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“Open your legs!” Pinkie barked
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> “Oh! umm…O..Okay?”
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> Vapor spread her legs
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> Pinkie pushed the mares large belly upwards then shoved Vapors panties aside, giving her an intimate view of the mares genitalia.
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> “You're a big one, aren't you!?” Pinkie giggled
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> “I guess?” Vapor replied, placing her hooves along her belly.
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> Pinkie placed her hoof along Vapor's pussy, causing Vapor to tremble.
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“It’s kinda fat.” Pinkie said, grabbing Vapor's lips and wiggling them about “and you really need to shave. It’s like a jungle down there!”
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> “Oh…Ummmm…”
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> Pinkie gripped the mares right teat and squeezed
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> Vapors teats were small by Ponyville standards
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> Skating somewhere between teatlet and “normal” average size.
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“So…How much do you produce a day?”
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> “About a cup…Maybe a cup and a half?”
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“And how long have you lived in Ponyville?”
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> “Maybe a couple months? I was pregnant when I moved here…It’s kinda the reason we even had to move in the first place. You see…It turns out that the Wonderbolts training program isn’t very welcoming to pregnant mares.”
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> Pinkie played with the mares teat.
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> Slapping it and tugging on her nipple.
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> The teats had a little bounce to them, but they were just too small.
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“And you’ve kept yourself producing after the pregnancy?” Pinkie continued
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> “I’ve been trying.”
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> Pinkie thought for a moment
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“You know what I think?”
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> “What?” The mare asked nervously
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“I think you should get pregnant again!”
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> Pinkie dropped the mare's gut and jumped back on her hooves.
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> “Get pregnant again? No! I…I couldn't!”
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“Why not? It's not like anypony would even know that you're pregnant!” Pinkie said, poking Vapors gut
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> “I can't get pregnant again. That's off the table.”
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“Why?”
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> “Well…Because….It’s not exactly easy being pregnant. It’s really hard on the body and…”
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“Are you at least having sex?”
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> “Umm….No. you see, Me and my stallion friend are….We still aren't seeing eye to eye. And he's s a tad upset at me about losing his shot in the wonderbolts. He’s still under the impression that it’s my fault he got removed from the program! And maybe it is…I helped him so much that in the end it destroyed us. Of course he…”
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“But are you still having sex?” Pinkie repeated sternly
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> “Maybe every once in a while.” Vapor shivered “You need to understand that Sky and I believe in a very traditional household.”
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“Traditional?”
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> “For example. Mares are meant to tend to the home. And I completely agree with him! But we really need money and he still gets mad whenever I leave the house! He hates the idea of me working and is super paranoid of my “fragile female brain falling for another, richer, more toned stallion.”
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“Why would he think that?”
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> “I mean…He’s not entirely wrong. Skip is a very well read pony.”
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“I see!” Pinkie squeaked “What kind of stuff does he read? Science books? History books? Thos flimsy little instructional pamphlets they give you when you buy a cheap desk from Yakyakastan!?”
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> “No…No…” Vapor chuckled “He reads magazines.”
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“Magazines?” Pinkie asked in a deadpan disappointed tone
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> “Oh yes!” Vapor nodded “He loves stallions' health magazines. Have you ever heard of “Alpha Stallion?” Or “The Red Potion?”
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“I don't think we carry those in Ponyville.” Pinkie replied
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> “They're very interesting. Most of their articles are about being rich and working out. But surprisingly, they publish a number of scientific studies.”
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“Scientific studies? In a workout magazine?”
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> “They're lifestyle magazines!” Vapor stressed “And yes, they are very informative. For example. In the year 3016 they conducted a study, proving that a mare's brain is 20% smaller than a stallions brain.”
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“And you believe this?” Pinkie asked, humorlessly
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> “Why wouldn't I? Sky is the smartest pony I know!”
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“Know wonder you’re depressed.” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes
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> “Sorry?”
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“Look, do you have anything else you want to tell me? Life experience? Goals? Hobbies?”
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> Vapor inhaled deeply
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> “All I want is a good paying job. Like I said, I'm not the smartest pony around. But I’m loyal, hard working and I’m willing to go the limit….”
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> Pinkie started to zone out.
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> It was plainly obvious to Pinkie that she needed to help this mare!
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> She was crying out for sexual liberation!
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> Even if she didn’t know it yet.
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> “I admit that I’m probably not the type of mare you would imagine working for a criminal enterprise…I’m timid, physically weak and generally afraid of most ponies…But at this point in my life I don’t have much to lose….And that scares me. They say your true self shines in moments of desperation. And I’m afraid of becoming something I’m not….”
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> Pinkie walked across the wagon and opened her toy chest.
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> She began sifting through all of her perverted toys.
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> “I know it’s my duty to be proud and brave. It’s what they teach Pegasi from the day they learn to fly! But I was never raised like a normal filly. I was sheltered pretty bad and I missed out on a lot of important milestones in my life. Most of what I know is from Sky….He’s taught me most of what I know about myself….”
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> Pinkie continued to dig through her chest until she stumbled upon a thick leather dog collar.
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> Pinkie snatched it and returned to Vapor
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> “I mean, I’m a mom! And that’s crazy to me! I’ve never really traveled, I don’t have hobbies…I only joined the Wonderbolts because Sky wanted to. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worse to be rejected for being your truest self or living a life being a shadow. I don’t think I was born damaged. I think I was raised to be dependent….Oh my gosh! I think I’m having a breakthrough! Pinkie! What if all my problems stem from…”
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> Pinkie attached the collar around Vapors neck
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“Ummm…Sorry. Were you still talking?” Pinkie asked
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> “N…No…” Vapor replied, examining the collar Pinkie had attached around her neck
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“Are you sure? I swear you were just rambling on and on for like five minutes about something.”
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> “It…It wasn’t anything important.” The mare sighed
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“Oh! That’s good because it was SO not interesting!”
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> “You’re probably right.” Vapor sniffled
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> Pinkie attached a leash to the collar, prompting Vapor to ask
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> “Pinkie, why does this collar say MILF in bright pink letters?”
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> Pinkie began to pace across the wagon
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“Because you’re a milf, silly!”
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> “And what’s a milf?”
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“Jeez, we’re you sheltered or something?”
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> “Ummm…I…I…”
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“Vapor, I think I found a solution to your problem!”
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> “Really?”
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“Yep!”
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> “Well…What is it!?” Vapor asked desperately
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“Isn’t it obvious!? You’re an overthinker!”
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> Vapor deflated
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> “Yes…Well…I believe that’s a symptom of my depression.”
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“And I know exactly what you need to stop that awful habit!”
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> “You do?” Vapor groaned
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“Yep! To cure you of your overthinking, from now on I will make all of your decisions for you!”
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> “That sounds like a terrible idea.” Vapor shot
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“And my first request is that from now on, you will call me Mistress Pinkie.”
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> Vapor looked down at the leash and glossed over the word MILF stitched into her collar
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> “Don’t you think this is a little…Degrading?” Vapor asked
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“Don’t you mean, “Don’t you think this is a little degrading, mistress?” Pinkie teased playfully
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> Vapor frowned
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> “You know what, I think I’ll find something different.” Vapor said, removing her collar
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“What!? But we haven't even started yet!”
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> “Look, I understand you're trying to help….And it's my fault for coming here. Sky told me this would happen…I’m…I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
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> Vapor headed for the exit but Pinkie jumped in front of the mare
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“You can’t leave! By doing so, you’re only entertaining that exact same attitude which is making you depressed in the first place!”
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> “Well I can't help it! It’s just the way I am!”
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“But you don’t have to be! You’re a great mare! All you need is a little help.” Pinkie placed her hoof along Vapors cheek.
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> “And how is being your protege in a dog collar going to help me?”
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“You said you want to be loyal and proud like a real pegasus, right? Sooooooo….What’s more loyal than a wife?”
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> “What are you getting at?”
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“I have a cure for all your problems!” Pinkie screamed
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> Pinkie reattached the collar around Vapors neck
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“Do you trust me?”
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> “No.”
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> Pinkie yanked the leash downwards, causing Vapors head to jerk towards the floor
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> “Ow! Quit it!”
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“Vapor. Do you trust me?”
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> “No!”
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> Pinkie wrapped the collar around her hoof and tugged even harder
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“Vapor….”
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> “W…What?” Vapor coughed
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“Do. You. Trust. Me?”
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> “F…F..Fine! I trust you!” Vapor spat
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> Pinkie smiled
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> She dropped the collar and began to pat Vapors mane
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“Great! I’m so excited! You and I are going to have so much fun!”
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> “Pink psycho…” Vapor muttered, rubbing her throat
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“Now.” Pinkie clapped “Get me a bottle of wine from Berry’s.”
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> “With what money?” Vapor growled
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> Pinkie dropped a hopeful of bits in Vapors hooves
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> Vapors eyes grew wide, she had never seen so many Bits in her life
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“And Vapor.” Pinkie continued, “Keep the change.”
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> Vapor smiled, and she began to sniffle “T…Thank you?”
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> Pinkie grabbed the leash again
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“Ah, ah, ah! Thank you, who?”
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> “Thank you, mistress.”
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> Vapor hugged Pinkie and she began to cry
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> “Thank you mistress…Thank you….”
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> Pinkie smiled and brushed the mares mane with her hoof
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> Pinkie was happy
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> Pinkie knew that deep down she was doing a good thing.
by Shroooomy
by Shroooomy
by Shroooomy
by Shroooomy
by Shroooomy