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The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves Season 3 Episode 6

By Shroooomy
Created: 2025-01-18 20:57:22
Expiry: Never
fluttershylyransfwderpyteatsmultiboobpart of a series

  1. The Misadventures of Derpy Hooves! (And friends!)
  2.  
  3. Based on the art of WapaMario63:
  4. https://ponybooru.org/profiles/WapaMario63
  5.  
  6. Season 3 Episode 6:
  7. A Quick Trip to the Ponyville Institute for Mental Health and Home for the Clinically Insane
  8.  
  9.  
  10. October 13, 3027
  11. Fluttershy:
  12.  
  13.  
  14. > Along the ceramic sink top, and in no particular order I diligently placed each of my medications in a line.
  15. > Anti anxiety medication
  16. > Antidepressants
  17. > Pupil Pop eyedropper
  18. > Grounded Pegasi related medicine
  19. > Painkillers
  20. > Lactation pills
  21.  
  22. > I removed the drain stopper from the sink and placed the tip of my hoof along the top of the lactation pills
  23. > Very slightly, I began tilting the bottle towards the sink.
  24. > I inhaled deeply then flicked the bottle into the sink.
  25. > The bottle spilled open, and the pills rolled down the drain.
  26.  
  27. > I then placed my hoof along my anti anxiety medication
  28. > The bottle contains only twenty five milligram pills of active anti anxiety ingredients.
  29. > A pitiful amount which won’t even last me three days.
  30. > I tip the bottle along the edge of the sink before flicking them down the drain with the lactation pills.
  31.  
  32. > I do the same to my anti depressants, painkillers and eye drops
  33. > Leaving only my grounded pegasi medicine remaining
  34. > I open the bottle of the grounded pegasi medicine and take four large swigs.
  35. > I then wipe my lips and look into the mirror.
  36. > It dawns on me that I indeed appear as awful as I feel.
  37.  
  38. > I am disposing of my medications because they are of no use to me.
  39. > The recent abuse of my prescriptions has caused an extreme tolerance buildup.
  40. > There’s no longer any reason to take my medication anymore because I have become immune to their effects.
  41.  
  42. > It has been one week since I achieved complete tolerance to my prescriptions
  43. > My hooves tremble constantly
  44. > My body temperature oscillates between hot and cold in flashes
  45. > And my muscles ache.
  46.  
  47. > Mentally, I am experiencing dreadful
  48. > The chore of existing as my original, unmedicated self has returned
  49. > I am once again, fo the first time in years my status que, anxiety riddled, self hating, fat, disgusting self.
  50.  
  51. > I place my hooves along the sink and close my eyes
  52. > I inhale sharply and hold my breath for ten seconds before exhaling
  53. > I repeat this exercise until my heart settles into a calm rhythm
  54. > When my body feels calm, I begin reciting my positive reinforcement mantras.
  55. > Meditation is all I have left to ease my troubled mind.
  56.  
  57. “You can do this.” I tell myself “You are a strong mare. You will get through this. Believe in yourself and you can do anything.”
  58.  
  59. “You are a good pony. You are doing the right thing. You are smart, beautiful and…”
  60.  
  61. > “Fluttershy?”
  62.  
  63. > I open my eyes
  64. > It was Derpy
  65. > She was calling to me from the bedroom
  66.  
  67. > I clench my eyes tightly
  68. > My heart rate quickens
  69.  
  70. “Just be calm…Focus on your breaths.”
  71.  
  72. “Inhale…..And exhale…..Inhale….And exhale….”
  73.  
  74. > “Fluttershy!?”
  75.  
  76. > My hooves begin to curl and muscles tense as my heart starts to pound against my aching ribcage
  77.  
  78. “Find your happy place….Find your happy place…Find your happy place…”
  79.  
  80. > “FLUTTERSHY!”
  81.  
  82. “They are only thoughts. Let them pass through you like water. Be the water. Do not attach yourself to negative thoughts. Be the water. Be the water. Be the…”
  83.  
  84. > “FLUTTERSHY!”
  85.  
  86. > I turned to the door and kick it open
  87. > The door slams against the wall
  88.  
  89. “What!? What do you want!?” I barked
  90.  
  91. > Derpy pulled the book she was reading “Guards mare by day, seductress by night.” over her face and began to shiver
  92.  
  93. > “I…Ummm…I…I think the machine is…S…S…Stuck or something?”
  94.  
  95. > Her eye, peeking behind the corner of the book directed me to the MX3 milking machine.
  96. > It’s lights were flashing wildly and it was making a series of wretched, mechanical noises.
  97. > I walked across the room towards the machine
  98. > I folded my aching joints along the floor and began to tinker with it.
  99.  
  100. > It didn’t take long for me to develop a hatred for this machine.
  101. > The MX3 may be the most advanced milking machine on the market with its fancy console, keypad and flashing lights.
  102. > But it doesn't do ME any good
  103. > Because I still haven’t been trained on how to properly use it.
  104.  
  105. > I grab the MX3 and start to shake it
  106. > But this only made the noises angrier.
  107. > I decide to turn the MX3 off, then quickly turn it back on again.
  108. > Afterall, that usually works
  109.  
  110. > Once the machine turned on and take’s thirty seconds to reboot a prompt on it’s tiny monitor asks me for a password
  111. > I type in the password using the keypad
  112.  
  113. > The MX3 starts to come back to life
  114.  
  115. > Without facing Derpy, I ask
  116.  
  117. “Did you touch anything? I told you not to play with this.”
  118.  
  119. > “I didn’t do anything!” Derpy whined “It just started making this weird noise!”
  120.  
  121. > Using the keypad, I reset all of the machines settings and activated the vacuums.
  122. > But once the machine became fully operational, the grating noises presented itself once again..
  123.  
  124. “Seriously?” I groaned
  125.  
  126. > I pulled myself off the floor then began to follow the machine's main power cord through the mountains of garbage throughout the bedroom.
  127. > I follow the cord out the door and into the flooded kitchen where I lumber through a swamp of warm soupy milk.
  128. > From there I follow the cord into the living room and where the machine was plugged into the house's final working outlet.
  129.  
  130. > I unplug the machine then plug it back in.
  131. > I return to the bedroom, input the password, reset the settings, activate the machine and…
  132. > The sound is now louder than ever
  133. > My blood begins to boil.
  134.  
  135. > “Ummmm….Did you…Maybe…Like…Try turning it off and then on again?” Derpy suggested
  136.  
  137. “Yes.” A grumbled
  138.  
  139. > “Oh…Well…Maybe it needs like…An update or something?”
  140.  
  141. “That’s ridiculous.” I scoffed
  142.  
  143. > Using a bit, I unscrew the machine's casing and open the machine.
  144. > Its guts were a series of circuits, tiny red and blue lights, small multicoloured wires and tubes.
  145.  
  146. > “Fluttershy…It’s still making that noise.”
  147.  
  148. “Give me a minute, honey.” I replied through gritting teeth
  149.  
  150. > I begin to poke my hoof inside the MX3’s guts
  151. > I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I figure if I meddle around long enough that something good should happen.
  152.  
  153. > I tinker with the machine, but the longer I do the louder the noises become
  154. > I poke and prod at every little thing before slamming the cover back into place
  155.  
  156. > “Fluttershy…It’s still…”
  157.  
  158. “I know, Muffins! I can hear it!” I sang
  159.  
  160. > Derpy sunk deeper behind her book
  161.  
  162. “Do I look like the type of pony who knows how to fix things like this?” I ask
  163.  
  164. “I…I don’t know.”
  165.  
  166. > I begin smacking the machine
  167.  
  168. “Stupid computer thing! Why didn’t they just buy a normal machine! Why did it have to be a computer!”
  169.  
  170. > With closed hooves I pummel the MX3’s off white plastic shell until suddenly and for no explainable reason.
  171. > The sound abruptly stops
  172.  
  173. > I pull myself back in shock, then slowly walk backwards from the machine like it was a bomb which would explode due to the smallest touch.
  174. > Using only touch, I find my way into the bed and sit beside Muffins
  175.  
  176. > “How did you do that?” Derpy asked
  177.  
  178. “I have no idea. Just don’t touch it. Don’t even look at it.” I stress
  179.  
  180. > Muffins, taking my words literally turns her head towards me.
  181.  
  182. > “Ummm…Are you okay?”
  183.  
  184. “I’m fine.”
  185.  
  186. > “But you’re shaking.”
  187.  
  188. > I look down at my hooves and notice they are trembling.
  189. > I hold them together tightly along my stomach
  190.  
  191. > “A…And you’re all sweaty….And you’re eyes are…”
  192.  
  193. “I said I’m fine.” I hissed
  194.  
  195. > “Oh…Okay….That's good to hear…” Derpy muttered
  196.  
  197. > The two of us fell silent
  198. > The room was flooded with the hum of her milk rushing through the MX3’s thick tubes
  199.  
  200. > “Fluttershy? Can I maybe…Go out today?”
  201.  
  202. > I turned to Derpy
  203.  
  204. “Where do you want to go?”
  205.  
  206. > “Just to ….Ummm…M…Mchoofies…”
  207.  
  208. “Didn’t you go there yesterday?”
  209.  
  210. > Derpy looked away but made sure neither of her eyes met the MX3
  211. > She started pushing her mane behind her ear, which was a big tell that she was nervous.
  212.  
  213. > “I did…But….I wanna go again.”
  214.  
  215. “Why?”
  216.  
  217. > “B….Because it’s good?”
  218.  
  219. “Would it be fair to say that I don’t trust you?”
  220.  
  221. > “What?…Why….Why don’t you trust me?”
  222.  
  223. “It just feels suspicious to me that you want to go to Mchoofies EVERYDAY.”
  224.  
  225. > “S…So?”
  226.  
  227. > Fluttershy poked Derpy’s belly
  228.  
  229. “And it’s making you fat again.”
  230.  
  231. > “It…Is?” Derpy asked, rubbing her thick belly
  232.  
  233. > “Last time I allowed you tto manage your own diet you ballooned into a stuffed turkey! I had to fight with the spa sisters to allow you to get exercise. And you know how they can be. They hated the idea, they believed it cut into production time. But you know what I did? I stuck to my principals and earned you the right to go outside for at least an hour a day. I didn't put my neck out for you so go to Mchoofies and put all that weight back on. And I can already tell that you’re gaining again.”
  234.  
  235. > Derpy looked at her belly
  236.  
  237. > “But….Like…I don’t really FEEL full though…”
  238.  
  239. > I closed my eyes, crossed my hooves and flicked my neck up and away from her
  240.  
  241. “Waste of effort…” I huffed
  242.  
  243. > Derpy placed her hoof on my thigh
  244.  
  245. > “Are you SURE that you’re feeling okay?”
  246.  
  247. “No.” I grumbled
  248.  
  249. > “No? As in you’re not feeling okay? Or no as in you’re not sure if you know if you're feeling okay?”
  250.  
  251. > I turn back to Derpy and look her straight into her functional eye
  252.  
  253. “I am NOT feeling okay!” I spat “And if you REALLY want to know why. It’s because I'm having massive withdrawals! I feel like I’m going to throw up, my head is pounding, my body aches and I’m one nerve away from completely snapping!
  254.  
  255. “I…I thought you said you gave up those pills.”
  256.  
  257. > “It’s not that easy, Muffins! I needed those pills! But now that they’ve stopped working I’m in constant bucking pain! I’m constantly stressed and fearing for our lives 24/7. And the worst part is that now that my meds have stopped working, I’m feeling like my regular useless self again! And through all of this drama and criminality you just…You just sit there! Or you’re at Mchoofies! A restaurant which I explained to you a dozen times uses unethically sourced animal products! But you don’t care about animals or what I say! Because YOU don’t believe that what YOU do affects the wider world! I tell you things over and over but you just don’t listen! Why can’t you follow the simplest instructions!? Why can’t you just listen to me!?”
  258.  
  259. > “T…Twilight likes it…I go to Mchoofies and buy Twilight milkshakes…” Derpy mumbled, rubbing her hooves together.
  260.  
  261. “S…Sorry!?” I bark
  262.  
  263. > “Twilight likes Mchoofies…I buy Twilight milkshakes from there…She really appreciates it.”
  264.  
  265. “Twilight!” I huffed “Twilight is the reason you have tits on your chest! Twilight is the reason we might get arrested! I can’t help but feel betrayed by all of this! Since the day you moved in you have been slowly driving a dagger through my heart. I’ve been nothing but kind to you. But you still choose HER over me!?”
  266.  
  267. > “I’m not choosing anypony! I just want to go to Mchoofies!”
  268.  
  269. “So you can meet with Twilight?”
  270.  
  271. > “Yes! I…I mean…No! I….I…”
  272.  
  273. > Derpy's nose scrunched
  274. > She was clearly getting frustrated
  275.  
  276. > “Yo…You know what, Fluttershy? You’re…You’re an addict! I shouldn’t even be listening to you!”
  277.  
  278. > Muffins hopped out of bed and began collecting random articles of clothes off the floor
  279.  
  280. “What did you just call me?”
  281.  
  282. > “All you do is think about your medications. When you’re on them you’re a mess and when you’re off them you’re mean! You’re not my friend! Y….You’re an addict!”
  283.  
  284. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to take pills if my mare friend didn’t have the mind of a six year old!”
  285.  
  286. > Derpy stopped
  287. > She dropped all clothes she had just picked up back onto the floor
  288. > She placed her hoof over her heart and sniffled
  289.  
  290. > “F…Fluttershy? Did you just…Say what I think you just said?”
  291.  
  292. > I hung my head and placed my hoof along the bridge of my nose.
  293.  
  294. “Look. I didn't mean...”
  295.  
  296. “You’re the worst pony I’ve ever met!”She cried
  297.  
  298. > Derpy then ripped the tubes from her chest and crotch.
  299. > She grabbed three unmatching boots boots, a yellow rain jacket and neon leak proof tape and a sailors hat.
  300. > Then marched out of the room.
  301. > From the front door she shouted
  302.  
  303. > “I’m going to Mchoofies! To eat…Animal products and…Other stuff! Because I’m an adult who can do as she pleases.”
  304.  
  305. “Muffins, I’m sorry! You don’t have the mind of a…”
  306. > She then blew raspberries at me then slammed the door
  307.  
  308. “Six year old…”
  309.  
  310. > I threw my hooves along my face, dragging them through my mane and along my ears
  311.  
  312. “What the buck am I even doing anymore?” I groaned, tugging on my mane
  313.  
  314. > After a couple minutes, I stood up and continued about my day.
  315. > Unlike Muffins, I have actual chores and appointments to uphold
  316. > Today I was supposed to meet Lyra Heartstrings at the Ponyville Institute for Mental Health and Home for the Clinically Insane.
  317. > The spa sisters say she’ll help me with the “Strawberry Sunshine situation.”
  318. > I am not looking forward to seeing Lyra.
  319. > I have spent the past year trying to avoid her
  320.  
  321. > Before I could meet with Lyra, I needed to go to the laundromat across town.
  322. > It was around ten am when I finally pulled myself from bed, got dressed, packed our dirty laundry into a basket and left the house.
  323. >The laundromat is about a fifteen minute commute by scooter
  324. > But traffic always made it thirty
  325.  
  326. > Ponyville has been exploding with new shops, restaurants and businesses
  327. > And the streets are clogged with wagons, scooters, and pedestrians
  328. > Getting around town was becoming a nightmare.
  329.  
  330. > Once I reached the laundromat I parked my scooter and entered the establishment
  331. > It was fairly busy today.
  332. > Finding a seat to accommodate my “assets” was always especially challenging when you’re expected to share your space.
  333. > At the end of the room I spot a free washing machine.
  334. > With my basket in hoof I drag my aching body towards the machine and begin to load it.
  335.  
  336. > Most of the clothes I was washing today were mine because aside from her daily visits to Mchoofies, Derpy had given up on the concept of wearing clothes entirely .
  337. > I wasn’t complaining because it meant less work for me
  338. > I couldn’t imagine Derpy collecting her own clothes, driving across town to the laundromat, putting in the detergent, inserting the money into the machine, waiting…
  339. > It’s all simply beyond her limited attention span.
  340.  
  341. > I begin loading my clothes into the machine when suddenly, I’m alerted by a tapping along my front left leg.
  342. > I look down and see Mr. Sudds, the owner if the laundromat
  343.  
  344. > “Fluttershy! I’m so happy you’re here!”
  345.  
  346. “Oh…Hi Mr. Suds…How are you today?”
  347.  
  348. > “I’m doing swell! Do you need any help today?”
  349.  
  350. > His voice was high pitched and nasally
  351.  
  352. “N…No…I’m fine.”
  353.  
  354. > “Are you separating the darks and lights correctly?”
  355.  
  356. “Yes.” I nodded
  357.  
  358. > “Washing on cold to save me money?”
  359.  
  360. “Y..Yes.”
  361.  
  362. > “You’re not overloading my machines are you? I hate it when ponies overload my precious machines.”
  363.  
  364. “I’m not overloading your machines, I promise.”
  365.  
  366. > “That’s good. So many ponies come in here and think they can shove their entire wardrobe into my precious machines. It’s like they’ve never used a washing machine before!”
  367.  
  368. > The other customers began to stare at Mr. Suds
  369.  
  370. > “Yeah, I’m talking about you!” He said, pointing to everypony “You backwater swamp ponies!”
  371.  
  372. > The ponies all looked at each other confused
  373.  
  374. > I craned my neck down next to Mr. Sudds
  375.  
  376. “Well…Ummm….Maybe that’s because this IS their first time using a washing machine. Ponyville never had any washing machines until you opened.”
  377.  
  378. > “Oy Vey! My dear Fluttershy Oy Vey!” Mr. Sudds groaned “Fluttershy, you’re a smart mare.”
  379.  
  380. “T…Thanks?”
  381.  
  382. “When they told my family I was moving to Ponyville to open a business they called me crazy! My brother Horsechel even said “You won’t get a decent bagel out there! Deli’s forget about it!”
  383.  
  384. “Oh, it’s not so bad! We may not have those fancy Manehattan luxuries, but Ponyville has lots of other amazing things to offer!”
  385.  
  386. > Mr. Suds looked at my teats.
  387.  
  388. > “Fluttershy, don’t try and tempt me with your non kosher milkbags! I’m not like those other schmucks at that milk bar who’ll drink the milk of a filthy horse!”
  389.  
  390. “But…Aren’t YOU a horse?” I asked
  391.  
  392. > “My culture requires that I maintain a strict, pre approved diet. Your milk is dirty, sinful and fatty.”
  393.  
  394. > I start to rub my leg nervously
  395.  
  396. > “No offense of course.”
  397.  
  398. “None taken?”
  399.  
  400. > “When will you be back at the Milk Bar anyways? I’ve been going out there everyday for weeks looking for you!”
  401.  
  402. “I’m mostly on janitorial duty now…Cleaning out the love rooms, and such…”
  403.  
  404. > “Next time you’re offering your services let me know! My face has gotten cold from you not sitting on it for so long!”
  405.  
  406. > “Oh…Okay…” I blushed
  407.  
  408. > “Now that’s a Ponyville bagel I don’t mind eating!
  409.  
  410. > Mr. Sudds then began digging through my laundry, pulling out my bras and arrogantly unfolding them and holding them along his chest.
  411. > But because my teats are so large, my bras are larger than most ponies
  412.  
  413. > He held a bright red silk bra along his chest
  414.  
  415. > “Fluttershy! Have you learned nothing!?”
  416.  
  417. “W…What do you mean?”
  418.  
  419. > “This here is a silk bra! And you put it in a load of denim!”
  420.  
  421. “Oh…Sorry…I guess I still don’t know all the rules.”
  422.  
  423. > “That’s perfectly okay. Let me just take this bra to the back and I’ll hold onto it for you.”
  424.  
  425. “Oh, you really don’t have too.”
  426.  
  427. > “Fluttershy, it’s the least I can do. I take laundry very seriously.”
  428.  
  429. “In that case, thank you so much! I have no idea what I would do without your help. I’m still not one hundred percent comfortable using these crazy machines.”
  430.  
  431. > Mr. Sudds began walking towards the employees only section of the laundromat
  432.  
  433. > “Don’t worry, Fluttershy. I’ll always have your back!”
  434.  
  435. > I smile and wave as he disappears into the backroom.
  436. > I start the machine and take a seat near the window
  437. > Mr. Sudds is such a nice pony
  438. > He always makes sure that my bras and panties get washed properly
  439. > Always seperating them and keeping them safe in the back
  440. >.....
  441. > Though, he always seems to forget to return them
  442. >.....
  443.  
  444. “Hey! Wait a minute!”
  445.  
  446.  
  447. ________________________________________
  448.  
  449. > After pulling my soaked, unwashed clothes from the machine and demanding my bra back from Mr. Sudds I jumped on my scooter
  450. > My clothes soaked and unwashed dripped from the basket attached to my scooter, leaving a trail of soapy water behind me.
  451.  
  452. > Stuffed into my saddlebag was my red silk bra
  453. > I can’t believe I almost let him steal another one of my bras!
  454. > Everytime we meet at the milk bar he ALWAYS steals my panties and bras
  455. > I even sit on his face with that big snout of his
  456. > Now he’s trying to swipe them at the laundromat!
  457. > I just hope that some other pony moves into town and opens a new laundromat soon, because I’m through giving that fabric fiend my business!
  458.  
  459. > During my angry ride back home I spotted a large crowd outside of city hall.
  460. > I pulled my scooter onto the side of the road and stopped to see what was happening
  461. > Atop a large, newly constructed stage sat Mayor mare, Filthy Rich and the spa sisters
  462. > At the podium was Spoiled Rich, who was sobbing into the microphone
  463. > My ears perk up and I begin listening
  464.  
  465. > “...I promise a twenty thousand bit reward to anypony who finds my little girl unharmed. And let it be known to those guilty of this twisted crime that the Rich family and the mayor have promised to do everything in their power to bring Diamond Tiara home safely.”
  466.  
  467. > My heart sank
  468. > I started to feel like I was going to throw up with fear and guilt
  469.  
  470. > “I have spoken to the missing pony division of the Canterlot Investigation Agency. They have told me that they will be in touch with Ponyville's nearest counties and will be staging a lookout campaign.
  471. I know that our family has made mistakes. But this is not how you conduct business. And I am demanding that all papers print my words and spread my message across all of Equestria. We will find you. And justice will be swift.”
  472.  
  473. > Mayor Mare approached the podium, gently nudging Spoiled Rich away from the microphone
  474. > The mayor grabbed the microphone and began to speak
  475.  
  476. > “Now, now, before we get hysterical let's all remember that this is an isolated incident. I’m certain that we will find Diamond Tiara safe and sound very soon. Let us not forget that Ponyville is expanding and that incidents like these are perfectly normal. In fact, I would like to send a message to the papers and the CIA myself assuring them that everything is fine in Ponyville and we will resolve this issue independently.”
  477.  
  478. > I pressed my hoof over my heart
  479. > It was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode
  480. > I put the scooter in drive then sped back home
  481.  
  482.  
  483. _______________________________________________
  484.  
  485. > After dropping off my laundry back home, I started my commute to the mental health institute
  486. > The institute was a couple miles outside of town beyond Trotters, Pikes and Princess Spectral Spirits hills.
  487. >The institute is a strange place
  488. > Run by the government it is home to ponies of all kinds
  489. > The morbidly deformed, mentally unwell, criminally inclined, differently abled, etc, etc
  490.  
  491. > The building was built like a fort
  492. > A large square building with watch towers and metal doors
  493. > I parked my scooter near the front entrance and went inside
  494.  
  495. > The lobby was a small room with chairs small tables and a watercooler
  496. > At the head of the room sat a nurse behind a thick sheet of transparent plastic
  497. > A mare stood on the outside of the plastic being served
  498. > I stood behind the pony and waited
  499.  
  500. > “You see.” The mare in front of me started “I don’t need the anti depressants anymore. I just need you to fulfill my new prescription.”
  501.  
  502. > “You’re new prescription to assist the healing process of a torn ligament.” The nurse replied boredly
  503.  
  504. “I know that!”
  505.  
  506. > “Your new prescription is not intended to treat your depression. I’ve told you this a hundred times Cheerilee, the Canterlot Drug Commission (CDC) do not recognize your painkillers as a legitimate medication for treating your mental health concerns.”
  507.  
  508. > “Yeah well…If you don’t get the pills…Maybe I’ll kill myself!”
  509.  
  510. > The nurse stared boredly at Cheerliee who started to lean along the counter
  511. > I could see her smiling smugly in the reflective plastic
  512.  
  513. > The nurse grabbed her pen and a paper
  514.  
  515. > “As you wish, Cheerilee. I will retrieve your medication in a moment.”
  516.  
  517. > “Thank you!” Cheerliee nodded
  518.  
  519. > The nurse disappeared into another room
  520.  
  521. > I tapped on Cheerliee’s shoulder
  522.  
  523. “Ummm….Cheerilee? What are you doing here?”
  524.  
  525. > “Fluttershy! What a surprise!”
  526.  
  527. > She hugged my leg
  528.  
  529. > “It’s good to see you too.” I replied “But…What are YOU doing here?”
  530.  
  531. > “Oh, I’m just here to pick up my medication.”
  532.  
  533. “But why here? Why not go to a pharmacy?”
  534.  
  535. > “Well, you know what they say! Teaching drives you crazy!”
  536.  
  537. “I..I…Guess?”
  538.  
  539. > “Recently I started taking these things called synthetic opioids.”
  540.  
  541. “Opioids? Like…Opium?”
  542.  
  543. > “Kind of. Except these are much stronger!”
  544.  
  545. “Are you sure that’s safe?”
  546.  
  547. > “Oh, Fluttershy! They’re perfectly safe! What I like to do is take a couple, drink a little wine and after a little while you fall right to sleep.”
  548.  
  549. “Ah…I see…”
  550.  
  551. > “It really helps me unwind after a long day teaching.”
  552.  
  553. “And you’re sure that's safe?”
  554.  
  555. > “Everypony does it!”
  556.  
  557. “Everypony?” I replied in disbelief
  558.  
  559. > “Yeah. It’s really easy to get a prescription. Just ask nurse Redheart. I’ve been on so many anti depressants and anti anxiety pills all my life. But none of them work as well as these. If you need a reference I can vouch for you.”
  560.  
  561. “Maybe I should try some of these “synthetic opioids.”
  562.  
  563. > Cheerliee placed her hoof along my shoulder
  564.  
  565. > “Trust me, Fluttershy. They're great for stress.”
  566.  
  567. > The nurse returned with a brown paper bag she passed to Cheerilee from a small hole in the plastic screen.
  568.  
  569. > “Remember Cheerilee, if you’re having another existential crisis, don’t take it out on the children.” The nurse sighed
  570.  
  571. > Cheerliee nodded
  572. > She laughed nervously, grabbed the bag and trotted out the door
  573. > I had never seen her move so fast in my life.
  574.  
  575. > Now it was my turn
  576. > I approached the counter where the jaded nurse sat and asked
  577.  
  578. “Hi…I’m looking for Lyra Heartstrings.”
  579.  
  580. > “Does she know you’re visiting?” She asked, not looking up
  581.  
  582. “I don’t think so…”
  583.  
  584. > “Do you have authorization to meet Mrs. Heartstrings?”
  585.  
  586. “Aloe sent me.”
  587.  
  588. > The mare finally looked up from her paperwork
  589.  
  590. > “Ah, so you're here for Lyra's weekly “appointments.”
  591.  
  592. “Heavens no! I’m just…visiting.”
  593.  
  594. > “Sure.” The mare said sarcastically “Make sure you use protection. There's been an outbreak of crabs recently.”
  595.  
  596. “I’m not here for that!” I cried
  597.  
  598. > “Whatever you say.”
  599.  
  600. > The nurse buzzed me in and I followed her down the halls
  601.  
  602. > The building was filled with screams,laughing and crying
  603. > I stuck closed to the nurse who seemed unphased by the scene
  604. > The halls were lined with thick metal doors with only a very small window to look through
  605.  
  606. “You know, you're not the usual mare.” The nurse continued
  607.  
  608. > “The usual mare?”
  609.  
  610. “Usually the spa sisters send Bon Bon. Lyra has developed some sort of “crush” with that one.”
  611.  
  612. “I’m not here for that!” Fluttershy stressed
  613.  
  614. > “Of course you aren’t. And Aloe and Lotus run a completely legitimate massage business. And you’re here to scratch Lyra behind the ears and rub her tummy.”
  615.  
  616. > We cut down a couple more corridors until reaching a large metal door at the end of the hall.
  617. > The nurse, instead of using a key simply knocked on the door and shouted
  618. > “Lyra, you have a visitor!”
  619.  
  620. > Lyra opened the door looking the same as I remembered
  621. > Her matted mane
  622. > Tired eyes
  623. > her four constantly rotating ears flicking along her head and her barrel encumbered by six pale teats around the size of watermelons.
  624.  
  625. > What was curiously different was her horn
  626. > Which was locked beneath a heavy titanium casing
  627.  
  628. > Lyra rubbed her eyes when she saw me
  629.  
  630. > “Fluttershy?”
  631.  
  632. “Hi, Lyra. Can I come in?” I asked
  633.  
  634. > Lyra looked at the nurse
  635. > Then back at me
  636. > Then back at nurse and said
  637.  
  638. > “You’re excused.” shooing the nurse away like she was a lowly servant
  639.  
  640. > The nurse rolled her eyes then dragged her hooves back down the hall
  641.  
  642. > “Isn't this unexpected.” Lyra said, standing bipedally and leaning along the doorframe
  643.  
  644. > I nodded in agreement
  645.  
  646. > “This isn't some kinda trick, is it? Usually I have my hoof on the pulse on everything those flesh pedalers are plotting.”
  647.  
  648. > Lyra scanned me for a long moment
  649.  
  650. > “You look….Awful.” She said causally
  651.  
  652. “Can I come in?” I asked
  653.  
  654. > Lyra thought for a moment
  655.  
  656. > “Not until I make sense of this.” Lyra replied
  657.  
  658. > “Hmmmm…” Lyra started, scratching her left ears
  659.  
  660. “I predicted the spa sisters acquisition of the milk bar. Their expansion into milk dealing and their current “legitimate” business agreement with the mayor. But you coming to visit me on their request? Now that wasn't something I thought would ever happen.”
  661.  
  662. > Lyra folded her Front ears along her head and started to think
  663.  
  664. “I guess that proves that there are possibilities beyond even your capacity of prediction.” I suggested
  665.  
  666. > “Yes….” Lyra nodded, still deep in thought “It's times like these I’m reminded of my place within the mortal coil. A sobering look into mortality.”
  667.  
  668. > Lyra suddenly opened her eyes and stared into mine with intensity
  669. > Her golden rings hypnotic
  670.  
  671. > “How do you deal with mortality?”
  672.  
  673. “I…I guess I just do?”
  674.  
  675. > “Then you're either lying or dumber than I thought.” She grumbled “But I’m going to assume the latter based on the simple fact that a mare who suffers such crippling neuroticism must consider their mortality constantly. I guarantee that the day you discovered death you never looked quiet the same.” Lyra chuckled “For a mare who understands their mortality is a haunted creature. And you're a gaunt, frightened creature, aren't you Fluttershy?”
  676.  
  677. “Must you do this? Now is not the time.” I shot
  678.  
  679. > “Time.” Lyra chuckled “What’s the rush, dear?”
  680.  
  681. “I need to speak to you. It's very important….It’s about Muffins.”
  682.  
  683. > Lyra's expression turned flat
  684.  
  685. > “I should slam this door in your face for bringing me such troubles.”
  686.  
  687. “And you would be completely justified in doing so. But I’m desperate and I need your help.”
  688.  
  689. > Lyra, using one hoof shoved the door completely open
  690.  
  691. “Then come on in, friendo! I was just making tea!”
  692.  
  693. > I entered the room cautiously
  694. > In my opinion, Lyra is a real fruitcake
  695. > And I think that’s saying something considering the makeup of Ponyville and the fact that I fell in love Muffins.
  696.  
  697. > And it wasn't just because she was born with four ears and eight bleached teats.
  698. > Lyra also has “powers”
  699. > Loosely defined, powers of prediction and omnipresence which make me incredibly uncomfortable.
  700.  
  701. > Upon entering the room I am shocked to discover that the walls were entirely covered in newspapers
  702. >From the floor, all along the walls and the ceiling were newspapers pasted in place by a thick white substance continuously oozing and laminating the room with a pale sheen.
  703. > My only assumption was that this “paste” was her highly adhesive milk.
  704. > Yet another oddity of the freakish unicorn mare.
  705.  
  706. > “These are complicated times.” Lyra said as she moseyed bipedally towards a counter across the room
  707.  
  708. “Even I’m overwhelmed.” She chuckled
  709.  
  710. “You could say that.” I replied, eyes drifting across the fully furnished room which included couches, tables, a stove, coffee machine, washer, dryer and a number of unconventional creature comforts one would find in a cell designed for the criminally insane.
  711.  
  712. > “Have you been following the news out of the Crystal Empire?” Lyra asked, as she started to brew a teat “Cadance has been negotiating with the eastern empires to broker a trade agreement.”
  713.  
  714. “I haven't been following.” I replied, eyes scanning the thousands of newspapers along the walls.
  715.  
  716. > “Germareny, Prance and all those post war disasters are nothing but large populations of bitter young post war ponies. And Cadance, never letting a tragedy go to waste. Is going to start investing in weapons manufacturing, infrastructure, and establishing a presence for herself in the anti-Equestrian post war empires.”
  717.  
  718. > Lyra looked at me expectantly
  719.  
  720. > “I predict that she will begin recruiting ponies to join the Crystal Empire army. Eventually, these independent countries will turn into colonies, and those poor third world ponies across that big blue ocean won't stand a chance regaining independence.”
  721.  
  722. > Lyra looked up in thought
  723.  
  724. > “Though…Perhaps they don't deserve independence? Look at all the trouble they caused when they manifested their own destiny.” Lyra chuckled
  725. > She started to pour her coffee into a cup, adding a disgusting amount of sugar and a sprinkle of beans into the cup.
  726.  
  727. “I don’t have an opinion on anything like that. It all just makes me sad.” I sighed
  728.  
  729. > “Hey, do you think the spa sluts are going to get involved in the inevitable weapons trading? I know they’ve introduced opium into our little town. Weapons seems like the logical direction in expanding their empire.”
  730.  
  731. “No…Why would they?”
  732.  
  733. > Lyra smiled then leaned along her hoof.
  734. > Continuing to stir her coffee at an excruciatingly slow pace
  735.  
  736. > “Well they need to protect their product, right? And I’m sure Cadance, or “Mi Amore Cadenza.” As she likes to be called. Won’t sweat over a couple shipments getting “lost” or “accidentally” falling into the hooves of Equestria's most dangerous criminals. I can see it now!” Lyra siad, throwing her hooves into the air “Retrobates and degenerates of all shapes and sizes with Crystal Empire grade weaponry roaming the streets of our towns and cities! And Equestria in shambles recruits princess Mi Amore Cadenza to lead the CIA into the kingdom's largest crime sweep!”
  737.  
  738. “You sound almost excited about all this.” I said rasing an eyebrow
  739.  
  740. > “I’m not worried.” Lyra shrugged “The day princess “Mi Amore” can resist her unceasing urge to rut with everypony, creature, animal and child she meets is the day Crystal Empire will become a legitimate threat. As it stands, the princess is far too occupied with her photoshoots, tell all interviews and juvenile, pleasure seeking lifestyle to attempt anything on Celestia. The truth is, Cadence is a coward. She speaks ill of Celestia from one corner of her mouth, but begs her for a room in the Canterlot castle whenever she’s forced to flee her precious little Crystal Empire because her subjects decide to attempt another revolution. Cadance’s plots against Celestia are constant, but are entirely driven by ego.”
  741.  
  742. “Do you really believe that?”
  743.  
  744. > “Do you not read the papers? Earlier this year while her kingdom burned and martial law was called across the entire Crystal Empire she was doing a photoshoot out of the Canterlot castle.”
  745.  
  746. “I never heard of that…But that type of behaviour isn’t beyond what I would expect her to do.”
  747.  
  748. > Lyra sat along the couch then invited me to sit across from her on a loveseat
  749. > I accepted her offer and sat erect on the chair with only a stubby rectangular coffee table between us.
  750.  
  751. > “Isn’t it all so interesting? I told you about how I knew Cadance before she was a princess, right?”
  752.  
  753. “Yes. You’ve told me many times.” I grumbled
  754.  
  755. > “That teenage dinosaur has always been a hussy. She would never share her candy with me at lunch! I came up with the name candyass before anypony! And she was such a whiny little mare! Always had to have things her way! Mr. Hooves had nerves of steel dealing with that rotten egg.”
  756.  
  757. “Can we not talk about Cadance?” I suggested
  758.  
  759. > Lyra, looking almost insulted replied
  760.  
  761. > “As you wish.”
  762.  
  763. > Lyra then took a large sip of coffee “But I promise you. She will be an inescapable and intimate force in your life very soon. And when that day comes there's nothing I can do to stop her.”
  764.  
  765. “Is that a prediction or are you just trying to scare me?”
  766.  
  767. > “What fun is there in telling you?” Lyra chuckled
  768.  
  769. > Lyra hunched forward and placed her cup on the coffee table.
  770. > Her teats folded as her spine curved making them bulge
  771.  
  772. “I see that the government is treating you well.” I remark. Staring at her teats.
  773.  
  774. > “You would think that considering all my comforts. But the food is still the same garbage they feed the rest of these psychos in here and my neighbours are unbelievably noisy.”
  775.  
  776. “I imagine.” I nodded
  777.  
  778. > Lyra shrugged
  779.  
  780. > “It’s of the government's opinion that this is the best way to keep me quiet without outright killing me. I know they still feel guilty about what they put us through. And I still don’t forgive them. I probably never will. But I understand where they’re coming from and I “play ball.”
  781.  
  782. “That’s very brave of you.”
  783.  
  784. > “Initially, I thought they only kept me around in case they needed me. But I’m certain that by now, my files have been tucked away so deep inside the CIA’s darkest filing cabinet that they’ve probably forgotten all about me. I’m nothing but a patient of this broken system. Slowly dripping money from Equestrias shoestring mental health budget.”
  785.  
  786. “I’m…I’m sorry to hear that Lyra. I know you don’t have to do this but…”
  787.  
  788. > “I mean…Sure, I was never as impressive as the OTHERS. But I had my uses…And as harmless as they all considered me Mr. Hooves would never let me get too close to his precious Brighty until he absolutely needed me too. Despite our…Complicated…. “Relationship.”
  789.  
  790. > Lyra’s eyes swept the room nervously
  791. > She then picked up her cup and took another large drink
  792.  
  793. “But eventually he trusted you.” I added “And you were good at your job.”
  794.  
  795. > Lyra squinted “Yes…But that decision is exactly why I refuse to believe he was as smart as I initially thought.”
  796.  
  797. > I sighed again
  798. > It seemed impossible to talk to this mare
  799. > It was always something negative.
  800.  
  801. > Lyra looked up at ceiling at a newspapers glued to the wall
  802. > I squinted to try and read them, but my eyes were becoming especially bad recently
  803. > I looked back at Lyra and began to plead
  804.  
  805. “Lyra, I know you’re mad at me. I know that I should have visited more. I should have been less impulsive and I should have been a better friend to you. But I…”
  806.  
  807. > Lyra began to read the newspaper taped to the ceiling
  808.  
  809. > “September 28, 3027. Pone Rico on the brink of civil war. Notorious drug kingpin absent from the country as raids continue on her many estates across the island. Suspected drug lord “Wapa/Mario” rumored to be fleeing to Equestria.”
  810.  
  811. > Lyra looked back at me and started to smile devilishly
  812.  
  813. > “Sounds like trouble!” Lyra sang
  814.  
  815. “Lyra, please!” I snapped, slamming my hoof along the coffee table
  816.  
  817. > Lyra deflated
  818. > She placed up her coffee back on the table and rolled her eyes
  819.  
  820. > “Fluttershy, why are you here? You’re really killing my mood.”
  821.  
  822. “Muffins is in trouble and I need your help.”
  823.  
  824. > “I know, you told me.” She chuckled “What am I supposed to do about it? She’s not my responsibility anymore.”
  825.  
  826. “Can’t you stop being such a know-it-all and talk to me like a normal pony for once!?”
  827.  
  828. > Lyra slowly leaned forward, giving me a cruel expression
  829.  
  830. “Lyra, I’m sorry for snapping, I really am!”
  831.  
  832. > “Oh! It’s no problem at all! I always liked you better when you were sober. Those pills really made you far too rational!”
  833.  
  834. “You know I’m not taking my pills anymore?”
  835.  
  836. > “You seem to forget who you’re speaking to.”
  837.  
  838. > Lyra pointed to her horn incased in the titanium shell
  839. > It still works, you know.
  840.  
  841. > I gasped
  842.  
  843. “Y…You still have your powers?”
  844.  
  845. > “A pittance of what they once were, but yes. It takes more than a little titanium smelted along my horn to snuff my…Talents.”
  846.  
  847. > Lyra was always cautious with her words
  848. > She made an effort to remain vague
  849. > I always assumed that spilling what she actually knew would land her in big trouble with the CIA
  850. > But it drove me crazy
  851.  
  852. > “You know, Fluttershy. When I officially wiped my hooves of Brighty and bestowed upon you the honour of her “care mare” it was inevitable that you would run into problems. I think we can both agree how difficult our dear little Brighty can be.”
  853.  
  854. “Yes.” I nodded in agreement
  855.  
  856. “I think it’s time for your first employee review, don’t you think?”
  857.  
  858. > I shook my head feverishly in disagreement
  859.  
  860. > “Unless…You don’t actually need my help?”
  861.  
  862. > I fidgeted in my seat
  863.  
  864. > “Oh my!” Lyra laughed “You must be REALLY desperate for my help. Because I know you, Fluttershy. And I know that above all else you’ve been fearing this conversation for a VERY long time.”
  865.  
  866. > “First….Positives!” Lyra sang “After twenty years of diligent long distance babysitting, I’m actually enjoying not having to watch over Brighty. Of course I still love her like a “sister.” Lyra said, rolling her eyes “But if I can live out the rest of my days without falling victim to her clumsiness, or listening to her grating voice or answering her assbackward questions. I would die a happy mare.”
  867.  
  868. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your retirement?” I replied, eyes wandering along the padded cell
  869.  
  870. > “BUT! You being here is interrupting my retirement!” Lyra shot
  871.  
  872. “Please…Just tell me what you know.” I gulped “I know you know things…Please stop toying with me like this…”
  873.  
  874. > Lyra scooted in further forward in her chair, looking excited
  875.  
  876. > “Let’s start with her name. What does our dear friend, Brighty go by these days? Muffins? Derpy? It's hard to put a name to a pony who's entire existence has been shredded.”
  877.  
  878. “I had to do that….It was for her safety.”
  879.  
  880. > “I guess we should call her “Best Pony?”
  881.  
  882. > I started to sniffle
  883.  
  884. > “Because that's her “secret” name, correct?”
  885.  
  886. > I wiped my eyes, trying to hide my tears
  887.  
  888. > “You’re such a simple pony, Fluttershy. And the fact that your little scheme hasn’t been foiled is completely appalling to me. I’m not trying to be insulting when I say that you don’t need “powers” To determine that Muffin’s is “best pony.” You also don’t need “powers” To assume that keeping Ponyville hopped up on opiods, “Best Pony”, fast food and sex is the best way to distract them from your true intentions….Of course “they” were never smart enough to figure that out on their own. They only stumbled into that strategy by happenstance.”
  889.  
  890. > I jerked my head up
  891.  
  892. “Wait…Are you saying you know what’s going on? What Filthy is planning?”
  893.  
  894. > “Perhaps.” Lyra said, looking up and away
  895.  
  896. “You need to tell me!”
  897.  
  898. > “Why? Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
  899.  
  900. > Lyra stared at me
  901.  
  902. > “You actually haven’t figured it out yet!?” Lyra laughed
  903.  
  904. > Lyra fell to her side and began kicking her hooves into the air
  905.  
  906. > “Oh my gosh Fluttershy! I’m locked in a cage all day with nothing but newspapers and a dwindling supply of magic and even I figured out what he’s up to!”
  907.  
  908. “Okay, Lyra…I get it.” I replied, hiding my embarrassment behind my mane
  909.  
  910. > Lyra laughed for another couple seconds before tuckering herself out
  911. > She placed her hoof along her six teated belly
  912. > Her eyes were lidded as she chuckled to herself, her tummy slowly rising and falling
  913.  
  914. “Well?”
  915.  
  916. > “Well what?” She giggled
  917.  
  918. “Are you going to tell me or not?”
  919.  
  920. > “Sure.” Lyra replied, staring up at the ceiling “Filthy wants to continue his “work” At the Old Ponyville mine. Though, he’s been having a hell of a time legally acquiring the land.”
  921.  
  922. “Twilight’s been putting every roadblock she can.”
  923.  
  924. > “I’m glad to hear it.” Lyra said putting her hooves behind her head “But I assume because of all this bureaucratic nonsense he’s been ramping up pressure against the apple farm.”
  925.  
  926. “And why do you think he wants the apple farm?”
  927.  
  928. > “He probably plans to dig directly down to the mine itself from the apple farm. That mine runs under the entire town and then some! But most of Ponyville is federal land. And buying federal land, especially one with Old Ponyvilles history is difficult to near impossible. But kicking a family off their land to acquire for yourself? Mr. Rich is kind of an expert at that sort of thing.”
  929.  
  930. “And why does he want Old Ponyville?”
  931.  
  932. > “Isn't it obvious?” Lyra asked, starting to laugh again
  933.  
  934. > I was not having it anymore
  935.  
  936. “No!” I snapped “I didn't live in Old Ponyville like you, or Muffins or any of those other ponies! And I still have know idea what they were even doing down there!”
  937.  
  938. > “And be thankful you don't.” Lyra shot “Mr. Hooves, as eccentric as he was, was loyal to the fact that the mine remained forgotten. He and I shielded Muffins from the truth for our entire lives for….Reasons…. Telling you would be antithetical to your position as her care mare! Your job is to keep her safe and happy. YOU are on a need to know basis!”
  939.  
  940. “Well with the way things are going I have a feeling she’s going to find out eventually.”
  941.  
  942. > “As do I.” Lyra nodded “But with my magic locked away, I can only observe the past in a semi omnipresent way. I can still predict with about a seventy five percent accuracy…It’s why I keep the papers. To keep attuned to my powers. To make sure they still work. But, my powers are dwindling and the true nature of our future remains a mystery to even me.”
  943.  
  944. “I don't like any of this.” I replied, staring at the floor
  945.  
  946. > Lyra picked herself up then grabbed her coffee off the table
  947. > She began to lean forward again
  948.  
  949. > “But while we’re on the topic of Old Ponyville. What do you know about the old hooves estate?”
  950.  
  951. “No…No..You don’t…Tell me you don’t know about this.” I peeped
  952.  
  953. > I started to get up
  954.  
  955. > “Sit down, Fluttershy!” Lyra growled “This will only take a moment.”
  956.  
  957. > I slowly sat down, but I couldn’t face her
  958. > I began stroking my mane, eyes locked on the floor
  959.  
  960. > “Don’t you find it odd that after I released my power over Brighty….Or… “Muffins” onto you that her house just spontaneously burns down? And the next thing I know, Dear old Muffins is living with you now!”
  961.  
  962. “I can…”
  963.  
  964. > “And what REALLY annoys me is that I didn’t find out from you, or Muffins. I had to find that out through newspapers and meditation, trying to access the past with my horn stopper isn’t easy, Fluttershy. And I want you to know that I used a lot of my dwindling energy to observe your little schemes.”
  965.  
  966. “Please, Lyra, you don’t need to do this.” I whimpered
  967.  
  968. > “I really should have predicted something like this would happen. It was SO obvious!”
  969.  
  970. “Lyra…”
  971.  
  972. “It should have been obvious! When we first had our first official meeting….You know….I always found it ironic how you were never shy of speaking about Muffins in a romantic capacity. And I actually found it kind of….Wholesome.”
  973.  
  974. > From the corner of my eye I could see Lyra scanning her hooves in her typical, know-it-all sort of way.
  975. > She was loving this.
  976.  
  977. > “I of course never saw the appeal. But I knew that Muffins loved you….At least at the time.” Lyra chuckled “And I considered that to be very important when looking for my replacement.”
  978.  
  979. “She still does.” I sniffled
  980.  
  981. > “Sorry?”
  982.  
  983. “She still loves me…”
  984.  
  985. > “Sure.” Lyra replied, completely glossing over my remark in the most painful and rude possible way
  986.  
  987. > “The thing is, Fluttershy. I didn't care how you felt about the mare. Because regardless of your personal feelings, you had the perfect qualities to take my place. If my judgement had proven correct Muffins would’ve been happy and healthy. And I would feel no guilt in passing down all of her information, secrets and government ID onto you.”
  988.  
  989. “Yes…About that…”
  990.  
  991. > “Heck! I didn’t even care if you slept with her! So long as you were clean and weren’t being manipulative. You know how easy it is to confuse dear old Muffins, don't you?”
  992.  
  993. “Lyra I…”
  994.  
  995. > “I’m speaking.” Lyra hissed
  996.  
  997. > My body tightened and I closed my eyes
  998.  
  999. “S…Sorry…”
  1000.  
  1001. > Lyra sighed
  1002.  
  1003. > “Fluttershy, look at me.”
  1004.  
  1005. “I can’t.”
  1006.  
  1007. > “Fluttershy. I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.”
  1008.  
  1009. > I looked up at Lyra
  1010.  
  1011. > “The night her house caught fire, there was a storm wasn't there? Lots of lightning?”
  1012.  
  1013. “Yes.” I nodded
  1014.  
  1015. > “Do you think it was possible that her house was struck by lightning?”
  1016.  
  1017. > My heart sank in relief
  1018.  
  1019. “Yes…It could’ve been.”
  1020.  
  1021. > “It’s not outside the realm of possibility.” Lyra nodded
  1022.  
  1023. > Lyra tapped her hoof to her chin
  1024.  
  1025. > “BUT! Muffins also uses a lot of unregulated Dr. Hooves brand products. Products predisposed to catching fire, correct?”
  1026.  
  1027. “Yes…That could have caused the fire too!” I nodded
  1028.  
  1029. > Lyra clasped her hooves together and smiled
  1030.  
  1031. > “The problem is that the fire could have started in a number of ways and currently there exists a number of perfectly credible possibilities to how it started.”
  1032.  
  1033. “Exactly.” I nodded with confidence
  1034.  
  1035. > “But regardless of all of that. I want to know your side of the story.”
  1036.  
  1037. “My side of the story?” I gulped “What do you mean? When the fire started I was with Muffins…We were on the Apple farm…”
  1038.  
  1039. > “Come on Fluttershy! You know I know exactly what happened. Just admit it!” Lyra cheered
  1040.  
  1041. “I….I’m not admitting anything to you.” I whimpered
  1042.  
  1043. > “You know I can’t help but to pry. It’s a symptom of my excellence.” Lyra gushed
  1044.  
  1045. > “Do you wanna know what I think happened?”
  1046.  
  1047. > I nodded my head disagreeably
  1048.  
  1049. > “I think that you tried SO hard to convince Muffins to move in with you. But when she refused you had that little friend of yours Milky Way burn her house down.”
  1050.  
  1051. > I started to shuffle in my seat
  1052.  
  1053. > “Fluttershy?”
  1054.  
  1055. > I looked up, beyond my mane and tears I could see her silhouette
  1056.  
  1057. > “Do you want to know how I figured that out?”
  1058.  
  1059. “I…I don’t wanna know.” I said throwing my hooves over my eyes
  1060.  
  1061. > “But it’s true, isn’t it?”
  1062.  
  1063. “Y…Y…You don't understand…I…I…I..”
  1064.  
  1065. > I burst into tears and fell to the floor
  1066.  
  1067. “Please don’t tell Muffins! If she finds out she’ll hate me!”
  1068.  
  1069. > Lyra rolled her eyes and leaned along the couches armrest
  1070.  
  1071. “She already doesn't like me! A..a..and I’m trying my best but it's so hard!”
  1072.  
  1073. > “I don't intend on telling “Muffins” anything.” Lyra replied with a flat cadence
  1074.  
  1075. “You don't?” I whimpered
  1076.  
  1077. > “Who else would I have to watch over her? Twilight Sparkle? The state? Pinkie Pie!? Think Fluttershy!”
  1078.  
  1079. “I…I don't think I can do it any longer…”
  1080.  
  1081. > “Why not?” Lyra asked, sounding annoyed
  1082.  
  1083. “Because it's too hard. I still love her…But she doesn't listen! She’s immature, she’s messy and I’m not equipped to deal with the stress!”
  1084.  
  1085. > “Now do you see why I kept my distance? You had her for a year and a half and decided to live with her! And they say I’m crazy!”
  1086.  
  1087. “I was in love!” I cried
  1088.  
  1089. > Lyra rolled her eyes
  1090.  
  1091. “I tried my best! I thought things would be perfect! We would have a nice little house where we would have tea and read together! We would share a bed and she would go to work and I would make her breakfast….”
  1092.  
  1093. > “It's about balance. You need to help her just enough to get her out of bed, but not too much that she becomes dependent.”
  1094.  
  1095. > I cried for a long moment
  1096.  
  1097. > “Fluttershy….Derpy Deliveries was a great idea! You just….Messed it up.” Lyra said, showing more kindness now than before
  1098.  
  1099. “Maybe I should just break up with her.” I sniffled “Let her live with Twilight. She clearly loves her more.”
  1100.  
  1101. > “The last thing we need is Twilight asking questions about things that aren't her business. I know she's been trying to learn about Old Ponyville.”
  1102.  
  1103. “She has?”
  1104.  
  1105. > “Of course! That egghead doesn't know what's good for her. I want you to know that I’ve been sending Twilight bogus letters since she moved to town claiming to be an Old Ponyville historian. Of course, Brighty being Brighty opened the letter and the last time I saw her she yelled at me. Because in that particular letter which she opened I was trying to convince Twilight that Old Ponyville was nothing but an old garbage dump. Dear old Brighty didn't like that. She somehow found out that I was the one writing those letters. Came to the hospital and yelled at me. I of course told her it was a prank and thought nothing of it.”
  1106.  
  1107. “You’re so much better at this kind of thing than me…”
  1108.  
  1109. > “Until a week later! When I received a letter from the post office stating that Brighty had started opening letters looking for “pranks.” Needless to say, this had put our dear muffins' employment at risk. The employment she received through Mr. Hooves which, alongside her well being, and happiness I was employed to ensure above all else. But when I went to appeal her employment on her behalf. I failed to justify the mares employment. It appeared that my tired tactic of appealing to “disability discrimination defense” Wasn’t working as well as it used to. I know that they only used that milk incident and “damage to property” as an excuse to get rid of her. It was around that time I decided to renounce my powers onto you. Where it appears I have also failed.”
  1110.  
  1111. > I fell was silent
  1112.  
  1113. > “This isn’t an easy job, Fluttershy. But it must be done. For reasons beyond your understanding she must be preserved. There are no government agencies. No amount of money, princesses or powers at our disposal. We are the solitary guardians opposing the Apollyon.”
  1114.  
  1115. > Lyra picked up her coffee and studied the room, smiling
  1116.  
  1117. > “So, with all of that out of the way! What is it you need from me, Fluttershy?”
  1118.  
  1119. “I…I..I’m sorry about all of this. I really truly am.”
  1120.  
  1121. > “I know. Now tell me what you need.”
  1122.  
  1123. “I need your help burying a body.”
  1124.  
  1125. > I felt like throwing up
  1126. > And I almost did
  1127.  
  1128. > “How original.” Lyra said, rolling her eyes
  1129.  
  1130. “I know you can do it! The spa sisters said you’ve done it before!”
  1131.  
  1132. > “Who’s body is it this time?” Lyra sighed
  1133.  
  1134. “Strawberry Sunrise.”
  1135.  
  1136. > “Strawberry Sunrise…” Lyra thought “Isn’t she the mare who caught you in the act with the Kitsune?”
  1137.  
  1138. “Allegedly…” I whimpered
  1139.  
  1140. > “Right, right…”
  1141.  
  1142. > Lyra started to chuckle
  1143.  
  1144. > “You weren't the one who did her in, right?”
  1145.  
  1146. “No! It was…Well…I’m not exactly sure what happened. But I know that if we don't…Dispose of her the news of her death will destroy the town's milk operation!”
  1147.  
  1148. > “Oh no!” Lyra feigned concern “Not the milk operation which exists to treat dear Muffins like cattle!? Imagine the horror!”
  1149.  
  1150. “You know if anypony finds out. Muffins will be implicated.”
  1151.  
  1152. > “So you’re saying I have no choice.” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow
  1153.  
  1154. “I’m sorry Lyra…This is all my fault. And I am indebted to you.”
  1155.  
  1156. > “Great! So you’ll help me bury the body!”
  1157.  
  1158. “Well….I was hoping you would do it yourself…”
  1159.  
  1160. > “Nah! I think this will be an amazing learning experience!”
  1161.  
  1162. > Lyra jumped to her hooves and walked to the door
  1163.  
  1164. > “Let’s go now!”
  1165.  
  1166. “They just let you walk out of here?”
  1167.  
  1168. > “No…You’re going to break me out.”
  1169.  
  1170. “How am I going to do that?”
  1171.  
  1172. > “With your tits of course.” Lyra replied flatly

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