how i got 6 roommates


                                            >be anon on the 1st of the month

                                            >rent went up by $200 again

                                            >'reason: fuck you.'

                                            >sure havent seen your paycheck go up $200

                                            >time to get a roommate

                                            >you post your ad to FB marketplace and within the hour you get flooded with responses

                                            >one's name is Rachel Davis, and she has rainbow dash's qtm as her profile

                                            >shes one of 3 to not say 'Hi, is this available?' which that alone caught your attention

                                            >living with a fellow mare enjoyer would be cool

                                            >she wrote a nice paragraph, good english and punctuation, something was off about her story though

                                            >ill let you be the judge:

                                            >"Hello. My name is Rachel Davish (teh fastist flyer in eqestria!!!1111 XD). My friends and I ended up in [your city] recently from a far away place and are in need of a place to live. There was a big ole' storm and we had to run away from the government as they tried to hunt us down, but we have a clean criminal record and wouldn't hurt a fly. All of us have lived on our own and I at least take exquisite care of my residence. We don't even need to see the place, tell us how much the rent is and we'll move in, if that's ok with you. We don't even have that much stuff."


                                            Best regards,

                                            -Tiffany Sanders"

                                            >ok that was more of a rollercoaster than you expected

                                            >lets shelf that one for now

                                            >"$900" comes at the top of your phone

                                            >"1400 is lowest I can go." you text back

                                            >"$800 and ill pay cash every month"

                                            >"Fuck off you cheap nigger" you text and end the chat

                                            >why do these jews always have to haggle?

                                            >that no-look move in is tempting, but so many questions

                                            >that are about be asked in your response

                                            >"Rent is $1400 a month, Im trying to split it. May I ask how many people are you and your friends? My apartment is only a 2/2 so anything more than 2 would be a tight squeeze. Also, am I speaking with Rachel or Tiffany?"

                                            >three dots pop up

                                            >"We are 6, but that doesn't matter because everypony is small. I promise we won't take up that much space. What is your zelle?"

                                            >SIX!?!?

                                            >and really leaning into the pony pfp like its 2011

                                            >and size doesnt matter when its 6 women living in a small space

                                            >but shes serious about paying right now

                                            >you weigh the options

                                            >continue your marlboro reds and alice in chains single dude life

                                            >or take on six roommates and turn your house into the brony brothel

                                            >you leave that message on read for a minute

                                            >smoke on it, sleep on it, hit the gym on it

                                            >fuck it.