greenfntext 2


                                            >7:38 is when you check the clock after touching down at the bachelor pad

                                            >2 fucking dumbasses got in a pileup and shut down three lanes of the highway

                                            >but you got 6 keys made and confirmed they all work

                                            >you take a deep breath, sprawled on the couch

                                            >and open FB messenger

                                            >"Hey, just got home. I have 6 keys for you all. You coming?"

                                            >throw ur phone down and turn on the TV

                                            >theres a buzz as you tap into sportsurge

                                            >click through the 5 different jerkmate ads...

                                            >fuck. panthers are down 1-3 to the ducks

                                            >how the-oh. bobrovskys not in net. checks out

                                            >pick up phone

                                            >"Yeah! Well be there in 30 minutes."

                                            >hit her with a thumbs up

                                            >this is actually happening

                                            >suddenly your condomlooks a lot more dirty

                                            >dusty table you dont even use...

                                            >blanket and pillow compressed into one side of the couch

                                            >your grand total of 7 dishes in the sink

                                            >plate, big ass spoon, blender, water cup, cereal bowl, all purpose skillet and pasta pot

                                            >could stand to clean up a bit

                                            >dont get too flustered tho, end of the day theyre paying you to live here

                                            >8:10, as you dry off your pan, you hear a racket coming up the stairs

                                            >theyre not footsteps though

                                            >its... clopping

                                            >hooves on concrete

                                            >and a lot of them

                                            >what the fuck?

                                            >and a chorus of girls voices chattering to each other

                                            >you drop your skillet and look out the front window

                                            >you can *hear* them go to the front but cant see any of them-holy fuck

                                            >you swear you saw a purple horn poking up over the bottom of the sill and bob up and down towards your door

                                            >followed by extremely loud clops on your door that reverberate through all of your walls

                                            >"IM HERE!" you yell out as professionally as you can

                                            >you put your ear to the door

                                            >theres at least 5 voices giggling and laughing to each other

                                            >like rick harrison says, you never know whats gonna come through that door

                                            >and your lifes about to change forever

                                            >deep breaths now

                                            >turn the knob

                                            >open the door

                                            >get on the floor

                                            >everybody walk the dinosaur