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1.
>7:38 is when you check the clock after touching down at the bachelor pad
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2.
>2 fucking dumbasses got in a pileup and shut down three lanes of the highway
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3.
>but you got 6 keys made and confirmed they all work
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4.
>you take a deep breath, sprawled on the couch
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5.
>and open FB messenger
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6.
>"Hey, just got home. I have 6 keys for you all. You coming?"
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7.
>throw ur phone down and turn on the TV
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8.
>theres a buzz as you tap into sportsurge
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9.
>click through the 5 different jerkmate ads...
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10.
>fuck. panthers are down 1-3 to the ducks
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11.
>how the-oh. bobrovskys not in net. checks out
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12.
>pick up phone
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13.
>"Yeah! Well be there in 30 minutes."
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14.
>hit her with a thumbs up
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15.
>this is actually happening
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16.
>suddenly your condomlooks a lot more dirty
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17.
>dusty table you dont even use...
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18.
>blanket and pillow compressed into one side of the couch
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19.
>your grand total of 7 dishes in the sink
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20.
>plate, big ass spoon, blender, water cup, cereal bowl, all purpose skillet and pasta pot
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21.
>could stand to clean up a bit
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22.
>dont get too flustered tho, end of the day theyre paying you to live here
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23.
>8:10, as you dry off your pan, you hear a racket coming up the stairs
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24.
>theyre not footsteps though
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25.
>its... clopping
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26.
>hooves on concrete
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27.
>and a lot of them
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28.
>what the fuck?
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29.
>and a chorus of girls voices chattering to each other
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30.
>you drop your skillet and look out the front window
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31.
>you can *hear* them go to the front but cant see any of them-holy fuck
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32.
>you swear you saw a purple horn poking up over the bottom of the sill and bob up and down towards your door
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33.
>followed by extremely loud clops on your door that reverberate through all of your walls
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34.
>"IM HERE!" you yell out as professionally as you can
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35.
>you put your ear to the door
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36.
>theres at least 5 voices giggling and laughing to each other
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37.
>like rick harrison says, you never know whats gonna come through that door
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38.
>and your lifes about to change forever
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39.
>deep breaths now
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40.
>turn the knob
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41.
>open the door
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42.
>get on the floor
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43.
>everybody walk the dinosaur
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