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Shining Diamond ~ A reverse trap Diamond Tiara story

By Guest
Created: 2025-03-27 16:18:13
Expiry: Never
diamond tiarahumanreverse trapcrossdressing

  1. >You take another swig of your non-alcoholic beer and fiddle with the cheap decorations that were failing to turn the break room into something festive.
  2. >The bland pop music that's been playing is suddenly replaced with an unidentifiable subgenre of metal, and you sigh.
  3. "Someone get Lightning away from the music."
  4. >You try to ignore the sound of scuffling as you focus on the 'HAPPY RETIREMENT' banner, futilely trying to find a position that will magically make it less pathetic.
  5. >You hear Lightning whine as the music abruptly shifts back to something more appropriate.
  6. >"Come on you guys, this is supposed to be a party, isn't it?"
  7. >With a sigh, you abandon the banner and turn to face Lightning.
  8. "You'll give the poor guy a heart attack by playing that shit. He's supposed to be getting away from all the stress of dealing with our dumb asses."
  9. >"Surely Trixie is not included in such a crass description!"
  10. >"Are you joking? You're the worst of us!" Limestone bitterly shouts.
  11. >"Don't insult Trixie, your bad attitude is WAY worse!"
  12. "HEY! Knock it off already!"
  13. >"But she-"
  14. "Enough! This is exactly what I'm talking about, and he deserves to not have to deal with your shit for one goddamn day."
  15. >You shoot them a glare, and they reluctantly fall silent.
  16. >"Trixie is sorry."
  17. >"Yeah, sorry dude."
  18. >You take a moment to review the state of the party.
  19. >Lightning, Trixie, and Limestone are all shifting in place uncomfortably.
  20. >Zephyr, Derpy, and Sandbar are quietly chatting over the remains of the snack table you so lovingly arranged.
  21. >Wallflower is silently hovering in your peripherals as usual.
  22. >That accounts for the full staff of the Rockville Barnyard Bargains grocery store, save for the current guest of honour.
  23. >They are getting along about as well as they always do.
  24. >And when the store opens again tomorrow, that will be your problem to handle.
  25. >"This all for me?"
  26. >Cranky strides into the room, wearing his signature scowl and bad toupée.
  27. "Hey, Boss! Yeah, happy, uh... retirement!"
  28. >You stammer awkwardly as he approaches.
  29. "Just figured you deserved something... well, it's not what I wanted to do exactly, but..."
  30. >He lays a comforting hand on your shoulder.
  31. >"I appreciate it a lot, my boy. Thank you."
  32. >The corners of his mouth twitch in what you've come to realize is a smile.
  33. >Your soon to be ex-manager may come off as an asshole (or worse) to many, but you've worked with him a long time, and you know there's a heart of gold underneath that tough exterior.
  34. >"Come with me a moment, Anon. I need to talk to you."
  35. >Cranky firmly leads you to the nearest janitorial closet and shuts the door.
  36. "Something wrong, Boss?"
  37. >He fixes you with a solemn expression.
  38. >"The big man's coming down. He'll be here in a few minutes."
  39. >Holy shit.
  40. "Mr. Rich? Why is he-"
  41. >"He's bringing the new manager with him."
  42. >A heavy rock settles in your gut.
  43. >"I did what I could, but his mind is set. I'm sorry, kid."
  44. "Well, shit."
  45. >You let out a long sigh of disappointment.
  46. >Sure, the promotion to manager wouldn't have meant much of a pay increase. All it really would've done is saddle you with more responsibility.
  47. >But the rejection still stings.
  48. "Who the fuck is he bringing in, anyway?"
  49. >Cranky's scowl gets more severe.
  50. >"That's the worst part. It's his son. And the brat looks fresh out of his diapers."
  51. >Fuck.
  52. "A nepo hire? Fucking hell."
  53. >"Kid was apparently some business savant in college, graduated early and everything."
  54. "Like that fucking matters out here."
  55. >Cranky nods.
  56. >"Exactly. Either the kid is actually talented, in which case his talents would be better spent elsewhere, or..."
  57. "Or he's looking for a dumping ground for the fuckup, and we're expendable enough that it doesn't matter if he runs this place into the ground."
  58. >Cranky nods again.
  59. >"Pretty much."
  60. >There's a moment of silence, rudely interrupted by the pounding beat of a double kick drum as Lightning seizes control of the aux cable again.
  61. "Are you going to tell the others?"
  62. >"Ol' Filthy's going to make his announcement soon. I just wanted to let you down in person one last time."
  63. >You chuckle.
  64. "You know that really have been the best boss possible for a shitheap like this, right?"
  65. >He grunts in indignation.
  66. >"'Course I know. Now cut the mushy shit, dammit. I'm retired, not dead."
  67. >You follow him out of the closet and back to the party.
  68. "Lightning, the fuck did I just say?"
  69. >"JEEZ dude, fine."
  70. "All you dipshits better be on your best behaviour, Cranky says Mr. Rich will be here soon with your new manager."
  71. >"Fucking WHAT?"
  72. "I thought that would be your reaction, Limestone, so I figured I'd rip the band-aid off first. Now, no foul fucking language in front of the fucker who pays your fucking salaries, alright?"
  73. >Trixie opens her mouth, but you glare at her until she closes it.
  74. >Derpy gives you a compassionate look from one of her eyes, and opens her mouth to speak as well.
  75. >You give her a kinder warning glare, and she closes it.
  76. >It's nice that she cares for you. They all do, in their own way. As crazy as they all are, they're the closest thing to family you've got right now.
  77. >And they're the main reason why this new manager coming in is going to be a complete fucking trainwreck.
  78. >No outsider will know how to keep this gaggle of retards functional.
  79. >Keep Limestone away from the customers, keep Derpy away from breakables, make sure Sandbar and Zephyr aren't too high to function, make sure Trixie doesn't break every single fucking health code imaginable by smuggling in a fucking rabbit for her shitty act...
  80. >Cranky kept them in line, and you were prepared to accept that responsibility.
  81. >Life is weird out here in the middle of fucking nowhere, where you and all the other rejects from Canterlot seem to end up, but together you guys seemed to make it work.
  82. >But now, you don't see much hope for the future of this place.
  83. >And with that thought, the door opens and two figures enter.
  84. >The first is a familiar face, albeit one that's still strange to see in-person.
  85. >Mr. Filthy himself. Not that you or anyone else would dare to call him that to his face.
  86. >He wears the sort of relaxed smile that suits have when they're looking to put you at ease before they find some way to fuck you over.
  87. >The guy behind him, on the other hand, is a sight for sore eyes.
  88. >You can't recall ever seeing such a shiny suit in real life. He's dressed like he should be playing an asshole attorney on TV. His short hair is slicked back in a way that reminds you of Draco Malfoy.
  89. >In short, he looks like even more of an absolute cunt than you were expecting.
  90. >He looks younger than you expected as well. Very short and slim. Pale baby blue eyes with a youthfully round face, and ever so delicate features.
  91. >You immediately start imagining him speaking in a posh British accent.
  92. >His eyes dart around the room, taking everything in with an expression that is so firmly composed, it betrays nervousness by trying to conceal it.
  93. >You see his upper lip curl and his nostrils flare ever so slightly as his gaze passes over the various cupcake-related debris.
  94. >Probably used to eating tea and crumpets on a lace tablecloth.
  95. >He makes eye contact with you. You stare back, making sure your face is in a relaxed, neutral expression.
  96. >The kind that hopefully appears intimidating without actually being aggressive.
  97. >You see him swallow anxiously and look away.
  98. >...Faggot.
  99. >If this little fucker is going to steal the job you earned, he should at least have the balls to look you in the eye.
  100. >The suave baritone of Mr. Rich distracts you from your impromptu pissing contest.
  101. >"...that is very close to my heart. And so I extend my heartfelt gratitude to Mr. Doodle for taking care of such a fine location for so many years, and wish him the very best in his future endeavours!"
  102. >He nods toward Cranky, who graciously nods back.
  103. >The rest of the room is silent. Thankfully. You can tell Lightning and Limestone are getting twitchy, though.
  104. >"Now, I'd like to introduce all of you to my son, Shining Diamond, who will be filling Mr. Doodle's position. I know, I know, he looks a little young. But I can assure you all he's got a sharp mind for business, perhaps even better than his old man!"
  105. >Filthy grins at his own joke, seemingly ignoring the complete lack of response.
  106. >"I'm sure he's going to fit in just fine here, so please don't hesitate to rely on him just as you all did for Mr. Doodle!"
  107. >He slaps his son on the back, making the poor kid stumble forward and squeak in a high-pitched voice.
  108. >"Go on... son. Introduce yourself to everyone."
  109. >Your new manager clears his throat, and addresses the room.
  110. >"Hello. My name is Shining Diamond, I have an MBA from Crystal, and as of tomorrow morning, I'll be assuming the role of general manager for this location. I understand that you've been experiencing some difficulties with unusually high overhead, so that's something I'll be looking to rectify as soon as possible. I'll likely require all of your assistance in helping make this business more efficient, and I thank you for your cooperation in advance. I do hope to get to know all of you better, and I'd like to assure you that I don't intend to make any changes to personnel unless absolutely necessary. I promise to work hard, and I expect the same from all of you."
  111. >He smooths his suit jacket down as he talks. His voice is high-pitched and staccato, and glancing around the room you can tell that the others are all thinking the same thing.
  112. >He's clearly in over his head.
  113. >Nobody responds, leaving the young man hesitantly fiddling with his suit and twitching his mouth, unsure whether to continue speaking.
  114. >Mr. Rich breaks the silence.
  115. >"Well, we should leave you all to your party. I trust that you'll all make Shining feel right at home. Come along son, we've got other business to finish before the day's out."
  116. >With a quick nod of farewell, the nervous young man scurries after his father.
  117. >"So... guess we're fucked."
  118. >Lightning says what you're all thinking.
  119. >"Trixie was thinking it's about time to take her amazing act on the road."
  120. >"Guess I'll have to take more shifts at the family farm."
  121. >"Dude... like, that dude is younger than me? And he's, like, gonna be my boss? That's messed up, dude."
  122. >You take a deep breath and try to regain control.
  123. "Look, let's all just try and stay optimistic for now."
  124. >"Fuck that!"
  125. >Limestone slams the table as she scowls at you.
  126. >"Did you hear what that little bitch said? About not firing anyone? That's corpo bitch lingo for 'we can't fucking wait to fire your ass'! These fuckers look at the bottom line, they see we're not as profitable as fancy folks in Canterlot or wherever, and so they dump the boss's loser kid on us before killing the store entirely!"
  127. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but the fuck are we gonna do about it? Just up and quit? You've got the farm, but what about the rest of us? Derpy has a kid to feed and last I checked this town wasn't exactly dripping with opportunity."
  128. >You stare down each of them in turn.
  129. "We stick together and keep it business as usual. Limit the damage that Mr. Prissypants can do. He's not gonna fire all of us at once. Thanks to Cranky's godawful accounting habits, it's going to take some time to be able to run things. That gives us time to form our exit strategies. Anyone has a problem with that kid, come and see me. I'm the only one who can read Cranky's handwriting, so while I might not have the title, I'm going to be the real manager here, and I'll make sure the little shit knows how things work. We stick together, I buy us time, and we all help each other land on our feet."
  130. >"Take it from me: never quit when you can make them fire you."
  131. "That might be the smartest thing I've heard you say, Zephyr."
  132. >The room breaks into quiet chuckling for a second.
  133. "We good?"
  134. >Nods. Some more reluctant than others, but the family is still intact, for now.
  135. "Alright, I'll see most of you assholes bright and early tomorrow. The rest of you, think about what I said. And no panicking."
  136. >They leave one by one until it's just you and Cranky left.
  137. >"Yeah, you'll do just fine without me."
  138. >You smile bitterly.
  139. "You picked one hell of a time to retire, asshole."
  140. >"It's the right time. They trust you. And no matter what happens, you've proven you can handle the bullshit that comes your way. That's all that really matters, kid. Times get tough, but as long as you can outlast the tough times, it's bound to get better."
  141. "Inspiring. That from your upcoming memoir?"
  142. >"Just get out of here already, you little shit. I'll lock up."
  143. >With a weary sigh you give a final wave to the only guy that made this shitty job survivable.
  144. >Tomorrow will be one hell of a day.
  145.  
  146. >You wake up, do your routine, and head to the store a bit earlier than normal.
  147. >You're not trying to impress your new boss, but you also don't want him to get away with any shit while nobody's around.
  148. >Looks like your fears were founded, as when you pull into the backlot of the world's smallest supermarket, the most ridiculous car you've seen in your life is already parked there.
  149. >Like someone tried to make a James Bond car but ended up with Austin Powers instead.
  150. >It's polished to such a shine that you're surprised it's not considered a road hazard.
  151. >You'd be sure it'd be stolen within the hour, if you weren't equally sure no chop shop would take it.
  152. >You are absolutely sure the little shit got it the day he turned 16.
  153. >It's even got a vanity plate, although you're not sure what "DEE TEE" is meant to refer to.
  154. >Shaking your head, you enter the store and go straight for what you refuse to consider anything other than Cranky's office.
  155. >You give just enough of a knock to be able to say that you did knock before entering.
  156. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything?"
  157. >The brat is at Cranky's desk, wearing a completely different yet equally pretentious suit.
  158. >Filthy seems able to dress himself just fine, did he just never teach his son the meaning of 'business casual'?
  159. >And are those fucking shoulder pads?
  160. >"Ah, good. Mr. Anonymous. I was hoping to be able to speak with you before we open today."
  161. >He casually brushes the papers he was examining aside and folds his hands thoughtfully.
  162. >It would look more professional if he wasn't too short for the desk.
  163. >Resisting the urge to ask if he needs a booster seat, you sit across from him and loosely mirror his pose.
  164. "So how can I be of assistance?"
  165. >He takes a deep breath and gives you what must be his serious face.
  166. >"My father spoke to Mr. Doodle, and briefed me on your situation. I understand that while no explicit offer of promotion was made, there was a clear expectation. I would be very upset in your position, and I understand if you have resentment towards my father or I. But I am also confident that I will be able to earn your trust and respect."
  167. >He maintains a steady gaze, soft blue eyes doing their best to appear firm and determined.
  168. >"I meant it when I said I don't intend on making any changes to personnel. My job is to improve efficiency, not disrupt things. I'm sure you have your own ideas on how things can be improved around here, and if we work together my job will likely be finished in as short as a month. At that point, I will return to the city and leave you in charge of a well-oiled machine."
  169. >He smiles softly.
  170. >"All I ask for is your cooperation, for the good of everyone here. Give me that chance, and I promise two things in return: to leave this place better than I found it, and for you to have the position that you have clearly earned.
  171. >He extends his hand stiffly towards you.
  172. >"What do you say?"
  173. >You watch as his extended arm slightly quivers with tension.
  174. >Up close, you can tell that the sleeve of his shirt is too long.
  175. >Returning your gaze to his youthful face, you give him your answer.
  176. "If we're going to work together, I think that we should first acknowledge how things stand between us."
  177. >His hand withdraws.
  178. >"Alright, I was hoping that we could have a clean slate, but if-"
  179. "No, no. Hold on. See, I'm not quite sure if you know how it is, or if you're actually completely fucking clueless, but either way I don't have the patience to sit through another diplomacy fucking seminar."
  180. >You take a moment to enjoy how his eyes widen in shock.
  181. "Here's what's going on. You're being tested."
  182. >He actually gasps a little at that. You're not sure if he's surprised to hear it or surprised you knew.
  183. "Your daddy wants to see how much of an incompetent dipshit he neglected to raise while he was off banging your nanny, so he sent you to this shithole to see how you do. See, he wouldn't trust you with any place that's important, but we're apparently expendable. It doesn't matter how much you fuck up. But it also doesn't matter how well you do. Because once the test is over, either way you end up going back to daddy's arms, to the big mansion and the million servants to hold your dick when you take a piss. And anything you do here? It ain't gonna last a week."
  184. >Christ, he's actually turning as red as a tomato. Did this faggot even go to college? Or was it one of those online things where you never have to actually interact with real human beings?
  185. "Not sure if you noticed, but this is a small fucking town with quiet little townsfolk. They don't come pouring in when you put brand cereal on sale. They're not going to respond to pushy advertisements. A self-checkout might as well be witchcraft to them. They're simple people with simple tastes, which means that there are only two real possibilities. Either you don't change anything substantial, in which case the store stays the same. Profitable, but not nearly profitable enough for daddy dearest to change his mind on axing it and using whatever assets are here to buy you another toy car. Or, you do end up changing things. Maybe even for the better, at least in the short-term. But it won't last. Either you end up pissing off the locals with your changes, or daddy sends some other dipshit in an ugly suit to make even more changes, and they destroy everything."
  186. >"I wouldn't let-"
  187. "Look, I'll even give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you really do care about us little folk, and that you'll do your best to keep all your promises. How fucking sweet. Doesn't change the fact that your daddy's the one calling the shots, and let's be honest, he doesn't really fucking care about your opinion, does he?"
  188. >His mouth drops open in shock. His eyes glance around his desk as if he'll find the answer there.
  189. "If he did, you wouldn't be here. I knew that from the moment I saw you prancing around the break room, afraid that if you stick around too long the stink of poverty would rub off on you. But don't worry. I'm not here to make your life any harder."
  190. >You fold your arms and allow yourself to slouch in your chair.
  191. "I propose a slightly different deal. You do your best to contain your burning desire to try and 'improve' everything by sticking your grubby little hands all over it. I do the actual work, put out whatever fires get started, and put on a big show for your daddy about how what a difference you're making. The store stays open long enough for everyone here to find new jobs, you pass your little test and get to feel that daddy's actually proud of you for a change. Win/win. What do you say?"
  192. >The little man in the big suit is lost for words, furiously blushing and practically gasping like a fish as he tries to find a response.
  193. "OK, good chat. I'm really feeling the workplace synergy. I'm gonna go get the ball rolling for today, you just sit there and look pretty."
  194. >As you rise from your chair, he also stands up in a huff.
  195. >"I... You... Hold on! I forbid you from leaving!"
  196. >You hear a little sound as the words leave his mouth.
  197. >You're pretty sure he actually stamped his foot at you.
  198. "Aww. You're adorable when you're pissed."
  199. >Feeling extra cheeky today, you reach out and tussle his hair.
  200. >He flinches and bats your hand away.
  201. >"What are you doing? You think you can treat me like this? I'm your superior!"
  202. "Then report me. Call up daddy and tell him that you want me out on my ass today."
  203. >He draws a breath, only to clamp his mouth shut in bitter frustration.
  204. "Yeah... that's what I thought. See, you still haven't accepted that you don't actually have any real power here. If you could have replaced me, or anyone else, you'd have done it already. But that would send the wrong message to daddy, especially when you realized that this town isn't exactly filled with model employees. Believe it or not, that gaggle of retards is actually the cream of the crop around here. You'd be short-staffed for a long time, or worse, hire some absolute fuckup that'll burn the place down. So think about my offer. It's the only way you come out of this not looking like a total disappointment to your old man."
  205. >Just before you turn to leave, you point to some of the papers on the desk.
  206. "By the way, those reports aren't accurate. Cranky was drunk off his ass when he did those. The do-overs are in that locked filing cabinet. Cranky lost the key five months ago. Have fun with all that."
  207. >With a cheerful wave, you turn your back on the dumbstruck brat and go start yet another productive day's work.
  208.  
  209. >"Alright, dude, here's your receipt! Have a radical day!"
  210. >You stop spying on Sandbar. He's clearly doing fine for now.
  211. >Sandbar on cash can be risky, but he doesn't stink of weed today and Zephyr's not around to distract him, so it's probably fine.
  212. >You circle back to the produce section and nod in approval.
  213. "Good work, Trixie."
  214. >You have no idea how she does it, but she's able to arrange the fruits and veggies in a way that makes them look extra fresh and absolutely delicious.
  215. >"Trixie is an expert on showmanship, this is a piece of cake!"
  216. >You continue your rounds, and it's not long before you spot trouble.
  217. >"I just don't understand why you don't have them in stock! You did last week!"
  218. >Fuck, some boomer cornered Limestone.
  219. >She's supposed to be in the back, how the fuck did they get to her?
  220. >You speedwalk in their direction.
  221. >"Look, if it's not on this list here, we don't have it! Are you some kind of-"
  222. "HI THERE, how can I be of assistance today?"
  223. >You practically dive between the customer and an extremely irate Limestone.
  224. >After a couple minutes of pretending to listen to their bullshit, they return to their shopping, and you turn to your employee.
  225. >Surprisingly, she's staring at her shoes and fidgeting anxiously.
  226. >"Look, I know, I know. I just came out for a minute because I realized we forgot to restock these cans, and she just came out of nowhere..."
  227. >She mutters under her breath.
  228. "Hey, you kept your cool until I got here, that's a big improvement."
  229. >"Yeah... At least I didn't shout or anything."
  230. "Go take a break for a while. Make sure you're good and calm, OK?"
  231. >"Right, yeah. Fucking shitty old fucking cunts..."
  232. >Limestone heads off, squeezing her fists.
  233. >You spot her box of cans on the floor, and finish piling them on the shelf.
  234. >Turning around, you nearly get a heart attack from a pint-sized jumpscare.
  235. >"Mr. Anonymous."
  236. >His suit looks even more retarded when he's standing next to cans of baked beans and Manwich.
  237. >"Mr. Shiny. How can I be of assistance?"
  238. >He sniffs in vague disapproval. You're not sure if he's turning his nose up at you or just craning his neck to look you in the eye.
  239. >"I've been examining our inventory, and I'm afraid there are several issues. Torn labels, dented cans... These are products that shouldn't be sold at full price."
  240. "In a cushy Canterlot outlet, maybe. Here, we try to be 'efficient', that's what you're here for, right?"
  241. >"We still should try to provide a certain level of-"
  242. "Look, it's fine. The customers actually love it."
  243. >"What? But they're not even getting a discount. Why would-"
  244. "Because the entire town loves Derpy, and they enjoy seeing the little imperfections she creates in the things they buy. It's... personalized."
  245. >The kid narrows his eyes at you.
  246. >"The re-... the woman with the crossed eyes? She's responsible for... ALL of it?"
  247. "I'd say about 90%, yeah."
  248. >He huffs in frustration, pulls out a notepad, and starts scribbling intensely.
  249. >"Well, that explains it. I was surprised to see that this location has an unusually high amount of overhead in the form of damaged inventory, now I know why."
  250. "Derpy only handles cans and cash now, so it's not a problem. And as I said: the whole town loves her."
  251. >He opens his mouth as if to argue the point further, but then closes it.
  252. >"Fine. You have a point, if most of these items are actually of higher interest to customers, then we shouldn't fix what isn't broken. But make absolutely sure she stays away from anything that can be easily damaged."
  253. "That's the plan."
  254. >He nods sharply and turns away, making further scratches in his notebook.
  255. "...Hey."
  256. >He looks at you with a raised eyebrow?"
  257. >"Yes? Is there another concern?"
  258. "Just... glad you understand everything."
  259. >He hesitates, as if he's about to ask whether you meant the Derpy situation, or your earlier dictating of terms.
  260. >Truth be told, you're not sure of that answer.
  261. >He decides against it, and simply nods before scurrying back to his office.
  262. >You sigh and stretch your muscles.
  263. >Kid showed some balls for actually coming to you with a problem after you put him in his place earlier.
  264. >No point in telling him that, though. Brat like that, the last thing you want to do is inflate his ego even more.
  265.  
  266. >Several more days pass uneventfully.
  267. >The new manager hovers around you on occasion, asks a few questions, but generally keeps to himself.
  268. >Aside from having to stop Lightning from doing laps down the aisles, things run smoothly.
  269. >Until one day you pull into your usual parking space to see an extremely pissed off Limestone pacing back and forth.
  270. >Looks like one of THOSE days.
  271. >As soon as you open your car door she is ranting to you.
  272. >"I fucking SWEAR if you don't fix this shit I will quit, but not before I take that little faggot's face and shove it right into the compost heap."
  273. "Deep breaths."
  274. >"FUCK YOU with your meditation horseshit this is fucking serious, Maud is prepared to start a full boycott over this."
  275. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
  276. >"You had better not be playing fucking dumb right now."
  277. "Limey I'm running on four hours of sleep and dry cereal, I don't have the fucking energy to be playing games, now tell me what the issue is."
  278. >"The little CUNT just told the Apples to eat shit and die in a fire."
  279. "What?"
  280. >"I mean, not in like that exact way, but that's the gist of it. Our families have been discussing it all night, and it won't be long until they bring out the pitchforks. I had to basically BEG my old man to let me come to work today, mainly because I knew YOU wouldn't let this shit fly."
  281. "Well what the fuck happened?"
  282. >"I don't fucking KNOW, dude, you think they tell me anything?"
  283. "OK, OK, fuck, look, whatever's wrong I'll fix it, just tell your family not to get any fucking pitchforks. I'm sure it's all just a misunderstanding-"
  284. >"And if it's not?"
  285. "Then I'll hold Shining Diamond down for you."
  286. >"You fucking better. Fuck. I need a cig break, if I go back in there I'm gonna do something I'll regret."
  287. >You enter the store and immediately shove your face into your hands as you groan in frustration.
  288. >It's fine. Whatever happened can be undone, you're sure of it.
  289. >With a couple more deep breaths you shove your way into Shining's office without bothering to knock.
  290. "Please tell me that you didn't do what Limestone just said you did."
  291. >He faces you with that wide-eyed 'deer in the headlights' look, and his face goes from deathly pale to extremely flushed within a moment.
  292. >You realize that you must've interrupted him at a bad time. He's standing in the corner, suit jacket and tie on a nearby chair, hands placed at his neck as he presumably just finished buttoning his dress shirt as you entered.
  293. "Sorry, is GQ coming for a photoshoot today? The fuck are you doing? We have an actual fucking problem."
  294. >"The d-door was l-locked..."
  295. "Lock on that thing hasn't worked since before I started working here, I think Cranky did something to it after he locked himself out while drunk once too often."
  296. >He rushes over to his tie and jacket, putting them on in a hurry.
  297. "Did you hear me? We have bigger fucking problems than me seeing your hairless chest. What the fuck happened with the Apples?"
  298. >He seems to freeze in fear again for a brief moment before snapping his attention back to you.
  299. >"The Apples? Nothing, we're still in the middle of re-negotiating."
  300. "Re-negotiating? The fuck do you mean?"
  301. >"Well, have you seen how much they charge for their produce? It's outrageous."
  302. "Have you actually tried any of their apples?"
  303. >"They're high-quality, certainly, but we have to start finding ways to source our products more economically."
  304. >Your palm hits your face reflexively.
  305. "Fuck my ass sideways, did you actually tell the Apple family that you're going to start buying some mass-produced overseas crap instead?"
  306. >"What? No, I merely explained to Ms. Smith that if she can't cut us a better deal, we may have to explore other-"
  307. "So that's a yes. What else did you say?"
  308. >His eyes shift and his lips tighten with guilt.
  309. >"I... when she mentioned the current deal they had with us, I did mention that my family's lawyers could render that deal void..."
  310. "You fucking little SHIT!"
  311. >His jaw tightens as he suddenly barks at you.
  312. >"I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't make any changes to the existing arrangement, like you wanted. I just pointed out that we're getting a bad deal, and that we should be getting a much better one. It's basic business negotiation! They're a small farm, they need us more than we need them, so at the very least we shouldn't be getting ripped off like we are now!"
  313. >Deep breaths, in and out.
  314. "Look. Like you said, they're a small farm. A small LOCAL farm. The only reason that we're in business at all is because we go above and beyond to buy LOCAL. You even threaten to replace our Sweet Apple Acres apples with some crap from Mexico and people will riot. It's already starting to happen."
  315. >"What's the big deal? They're just apples..."
  316. "It's not JUST apples, you moron! That family is related to virtually every single farming family in the fucking state! They talk to each other, you know. I just got my ear chewed off by Limestone, and the Pie family are distant cousins at best! Over half our fucking inventory is provided by people who are either family or close friends with the old lady that YOU just threatened! MAYBE we'll still be able to get strawberries, but that's it."
  317. >His eyes dart back and forth, then slowly widen as the results of his actions dawn on him.
  318. "Glad to see you've caught up, now let's get moving."
  319. >Wasting no time, you grab his elbow and lead him out of the office.
  320. >"Wait! What- Where are we going?"
  321. "To Sweet Apple Acres, so YOU can apologize."
  322. >"Hold on, shouldn't we discuss-"
  323. "And wait for the angry mobs to show up? No, we need to fix this NOW. And for an old-fashioned lady like Granny Smith, that means a face-to-face conversation."
  324. >He suddenly pulls back out of your grip.
  325. >"I can't."
  326. >His eyes are wide again and he's started breathing heavily.
  327. >"I can't go there in person. I can't let them see... look, it's hard to explain..."
  328. "Yeah, I really don't care."
  329. >You step forward and move your face close to his as your voice lowers with the severity of the situation.
  330. "It doesn't matter what you said. It doesn't matter how much they were in the wrong. It doesn't matter how painfully awkward it's going to be. You took this job, and that makes you responsible for doing the right thing. Out here, there's no maid to clean up your messes. You grab a mop and get it done. Either you're willing to do that, or you get back in that absurd car and go back to daddy right now. Your call."
  331. >He's still panting slightly in fear, and he looks like he thinks you're about to eat him alive. But his wide eyes are still fixed on your own.
  332. >"I-I'll do it. I said I'd work hard and earn your trust. And I will. I made a mistake, but I'll fix it. You can count on me."
  333. >His trembling, nervous swallowing, and warbling soprano voice aside, you can tell there's weight to his words and determination in his eyes.
  334. "...Good."
  335. >You turn around and push open the door to the parking lot.
  336. "I'll drive. Don't want to get any mud on your car. Hell, you show up with that thing they probably won't even hear you out anyway."
  337. >You hear his footsteps follow as you try to remember the route to Sweet Apple Acres.
  338.  
  339. >"More pie there, young'un?"
  340. >After a dull drive with Shining Diamond sullenly sweating in the passenger seat, you found yourselves at the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse.
  341. >Luckily, Granny Smith was willing to meet with you, even if she did give your manager a stinkeye.
  342. >You started things off by apologizing on his behalf, stressing that it was all just a misunderstanding.
  343. >Shining seemed even more anxious than normal, glancing around as if he expected more Apples to pop out of nowhere and attack him.
  344. >Having met Big Mac, you're not entirely sure it's an irrational fear.
  345. >But once it was clear that Granny Smith wasn't going to sic her grandson on you, he started to speak for himself.
  346. >And you have to admit, he did one heck of a job.
  347. >He was apologetic, taking full ownership for his statements and how aggressive they must have seemed.
  348. >At the same time, he managed to mention the pressure he was under to succeed and the various struggles of the business, all without making it sound like he was creating excuses or shifting blame.
  349. >He probably just had lots of practice from weaseling his way out of trouble from his folks, but hey. Whatever works.
  350. >Not only did the pair of you get more slices of pie than you could stand, but Granny said that she'd "see about givin' y'all a discount come zap apple season".
  351. >Fucking hell, you might just walk away from this misadventure with a net profit.
  352. >While Granny's fetching the food that both of you insisted you couldn't eat, you give Shining a nudge.
  353. "Smooth work."
  354. >He lets out a shaky breath, the first sign of his nervousness that you've seen since slice #1.
  355. >"It was easier than I... that is to say... I didn't expect her to be... well, nice."
  356. >You chuckle.
  357. "Most people out here are, once you show that you mean them no harm."
  358. >As Granny returns with more pie and a helping of ice cream, you find yourself reflecting on your own words.
  359. >It wasn't that long ago that you would've done exactly what Shining did. Go into a conversation guns blazing. Gotta show 'em how tough you are, after all.
  360. >It took a few years of life out here, relying on your neighbours, before you realized that there was no shame in asking for a favour.
  361. >And then when Shining showed up, you fell back into your old habits.
  362. >Instead of helping him adjust, as so many locals did for you, you saw him as an outsider that had to be kept at arm's length.
  363. >Was that really fair?
  364. >Your brain is too full of pie to answer that right now.
  365. >Eventually you manage to convince Granny that the two of you need to get back to work, and make your escape.
  366.  
  367. >"Ughhhh..."
  368. "First time's a doozy, isn't it?"
  369. >The two of you slowly trudge your way down the long path from the main house to your car.
  370. >You had an outrageous amount of pie, but Shining got the full Granny treatment.
  371. >Claiming he needed "more meat on them bones", he was virtually force fed a cartoonish amount of apple products, with lots of milk to "help ya grow up nice and tall".
  372. >You try and imagine Shining with the proportions of Big Mac, and snicker at the image of him busting through that suit.
  373. >"Isn't... funny."
  374. >He pouts.
  375. "Aw, you'll live. And she's got a point, you could stand to pack on a few pounds."
  376. >His pout turns into a full facial scrunch.
  377. >"I don't want to 'pack on' anything, thank you very much."
  378. "You could've turned her down."
  379. >He scoffs.
  380. >"We both know that wasn't a real option."
  381. >Shaking his head, he lets out another weary sigh.
  382. >"So this is how it works, huh? Forget everything I was taught. Forget the negotiation strategies, professional manners, and abandon all logic and reason. Just show up at someone's house uninvited, eat their food, and ask them pretty please give you a better deal."
  383. "Pretty much."
  384. >"...I still don't get it. I really don't."
  385. >Poor guy really seems confused.
  386. >You gather your thoughts and try to pinpoint what his problem is.
  387. "Look... when people see you, see the suit, the car, the proper business attitude, what they see isn't what you want them to see. They see someone who's pretending to be something they're not. That's normal in your world. Here, people value honesty."
  388. >"I'm not trying to be dishonest..."
  389. "I know. And people will see that once they get to know you. I only really figured it out today. But you gotta give them a little help."
  390. >"I guess I see what you mean, but it still feels so-"
  391. >"Diamond?"
  392. >The sudden sound of a young female voice causes you both to stop.
  393. >Shining's eyes fly open wider than you've ever seen them before, and he looks frozen in place.
  394. >Looking around, you see who spoke. It's the younger Apple girl. Something with a flower... petal... Blossom. Bloom! Apple Bloom. You've spoken to her a few times when she's helping Mac with deliveries.
  395. >Looks like she was just coming back from the fields, two buckets of apples at her sides.
  396. >You give a friendly wave, but her attention curiously seems focused entirely on Shining as she speaks again.
  397. >"Diamond, is that really you? We haven't seen you in ages! Why are you dressed like that?"
  398. >There's a pain in your arm. Shining grips it tightly and starts pulling you to the car.
  399. >"Hey, Diamond! Slow down, I'm not mad-"
  400. >"Got to go, sorry!"
  401. >Without letting up on his death grip, Shining shouts over Bloom.
  402. >Your confused brain kicks into autopilot, entering your car and starting the engine.
  403. >You spare a quick wave of farewell and apologetic glance at Bloom while Shining enters his seat.
  404. >"Go on, get us out of here."
  405. >You oblige, ignoring Bloom's confused stare, and backing the car back out onto the lonely road.
  406. >As you start to slowly make your way down the neglected road, you glance at Shining.
  407. >His head is bowed, and he seems to be lost in his own little world.
  408. >He draws shallow, shaking breaths, and his face...
  409. >Fuck, is he about to cry?
  410. >What the hell could have upset him so much that-
  411. >...
  412. >Oh.
  413. "Holy fuck."
  414. >His eyes snap to you as if he just remembered you were there.
  415. "She's your ex, isn't she?"
  416. >"WHAT? No!"
  417. >Oh, he definitely doth protest too much.
  418. "THAT'S why you didn't want to meet Granny Smith in-person?"
  419. >"It's not like that, OK?! Bloom and I were... that is to say... well, it's complicated!"
  420. >A now-familiar red glow covers his cheeks as he stammers.
  421. >It's clearly a rough subject, but you get the sense he needs to talk about it.
  422. >"She broke your heart, huh?"
  423. >He takes a deep breath as if to lecture you, then suddenly deflates.
  424. >"...yeah, maybe she did."
  425. >You let the silence sit for a moment, encouraging him to speak again.
  426. >"I don't know... we were never really friends. There was a time when I thought we could be, but then... guess we just drifted apart."
  427. >He sniffs and quickly wipes his eyes.
  428. >"I didn't deserve it anyway. I was mean to her. For a really long time. Eventually I realized I was just jealous. She was popular in a way that I never could be. She had real friends, real... love. I wanted that."
  429. "I get it."
  430. >He looks to you, surprised.
  431. "There were a few girls back in high school that I had a thing for, but it wasn't really about them, you know? More like the idea of them. The idea of being the guy they'd swoon for, that they'd want to be around all the time."
  432. >"Kind of like that. Except... then I really did start to care for her. And by the time I realized it, high school was over, and... I just never really got the chance to tell her the whole story."
  433. >...
  434. >Are you really about to do this?
  435. >Do something good for the guy that would still probably fire you in a heartbeat?
  436. >...
  437. >Guess you are.
  438. >You slow the car down, and Shining looks to you in shock as you start a U-turn.
  439. >"What are you doing?"
  440. "Going back."
  441. >"Why?"
  442. "So you can apologize to her."
  443. >"What? No, you can't! I can't face her right now!"
  444. >He starts to push and shove you in panic, so you immediately put the car in park and face him directly.
  445. "Look, there are a shitload of people in my life that I should've talked to, and I didn't. At the time, I thought I was just playing it smart. Avoid embarrassing situations, avoid making a fool of myself. But in the long run, that's what fucks you over. You gotta go back, and talk to her, or you'll regret for the rest of your life, and trust me, that's a really, really fucking long time."
  446. >"But, right now I'm..."
  447. "It's not the perfect time, I know. It never fucking is. You never really get rid of that fear, the uncertainty. But the only way it ever kinda gets better is if you let it out. Go back and tell that girl you're sorry, that you love her, hate her, whatever. But you gotta tell her."
  448. >He lowers his head in thought as you start driving again.
  449. "I'll drag you to her if I gotta. And even if she hates you, and you hate me for this, you'll realize someday that it was something you needed to do."
  450. >You pull back into the long path. Bloom is still there, carrying her buckets, and turns around in surprise when she hears the car.
  451. >You park, and give Shining an encouraging pat on the back.
  452. >His eyes are fixed on Bloom, and his lip starts to tremble.
  453. "You think that what we talked about earlier was just business? That's how life works. You have to bare your heart and soul, and trust that the other person will catch you when you fall."
  454. >He looks at you with terror in his eyes.
  455. >"What if... What if it's too much? What if they see something... a part of me that I have to keep secret, no matter what?"
  456. "Trust that they'll keep it secret too. And as far as trusting people goes, an Apple is a pretty good bet. You'll be fine."
  457. >He nods, nervously, and carefully gets out of the car.
  458. >You watch as he walks up to Bloom, still hesitant with fear.
  459. >For her part, Bloom looks genuinely concerned. As they talk, that concern grows stronger, until she actually claps a hand over her mouth in shock.
  460. >Shining looks to be shaking, with fear or sadness, you can't tell. Maybe both.
  461. >After several long minutes, they exchange a hug, and Shining slowly returns to the car.
  462. >His eyes are moist, and he doesn't speak to you.
  463. >You drive.
  464. >It's several minutes on the road before he whispers.
  465. >"Thank you."
  466.  
  467. >Weeks pass before you know it.
  468. >Shining Diamond begins to settle in, and every so often he even manages to come up with a decent idea, like cards with recipes next to the produce section, helping less experienced cooks try an alternative to frozen food.
  469. >Things are still less than comfortable between him and the others, though.
  470. >Whenever he pokes his head out of his office, there are usually bitter glares from Limestone, Lightning, and occasionally Trixie.
  471. >Occasionally you have to play peacemaker, usually because Shining wants to change something, and you have to explain why it's worth a try.
  472. >Sure, not all his ideas are good, but you have to let the dude try if he's going to learn anything.
  473. >Slowly, you almost start to forget that your job is on thin ice.
  474. >And you've almost entirely forgotten that strange day with the Apples, until the day another girl about Shining's age approaches you in the store.
  475. >"Excuse me? Are you... you work here?"
  476. "Name tag give it away?"
  477. >Your friendly smile is met with a blank look.
  478. "Sorry, how can I help you?"
  479. >"I need to speak with Mr. Shining Diamond."
  480. >You take a closer look at this girl.
  481. >She looks rather well-dressed for this town, with her hair in two immaculate braids and a pair of designer-looking glasses on her nose.
  482. "Well, contrary to popular belief, we usually don't just let anyone come in and demand to see the manager. You a friend of his, or something?"
  483. >"I... no. Not a friend, but I really need to speak to him. Please."
  484. "I can give him your name, hold on one sec-"
  485. >"Wait, no. Don't tell him I'm here. Can you just point me to where his office is?"
  486. >You give her your best 'stop wasting my time' glare.
  487. "As I said, we don't just let anyone wander in and bother management."
  488. >"Look..."
  489. >She takes a deep breath.
  490. >"I am his friend, but he doesn't know I'm here, it's a surprise. Can you show me to his office, PLEASE? Otherwise I'm going to have to write a really bad review of your store!"
  491. >Her hands clench and unclench with anxiety.
  492. >She's clearly full of shit about the two of them being friends, even if it looks like they run in the same circles.
  493. >Bitter ex, maybe?
  494. >You're pretty sure she's bluffing about the review thing, but fuck it.
  495. >You don't get paid enough to be a bouncer, and this might end up being entertaining.
  496. "Fuck it, come right this way."
  497. >You lead the stranger to the back.
  498. >Shining's office is unmarked, with blinds over the window. You always thought it was odd that he didn't put some fancy nameplate up.
  499. >You knock and call for him.
  500. "Hey Shiny, got a visitor here for you!"
  501. >"What? Who?"
  502. "Dunno. She's pretty cute though, and looks desperate enough to be your type."
  503. >"WHAT? Just what are you going on about?"
  504. >Footsteps from inside get louder.
  505. >You wink at your confused guest as your plan succeeds. Shining is pissed off enough to come to you, so you technically didn't disturb him.
  506. >Sure enough, when he opens the door, he looks agitated. Then he sees the girl.
  507. >There's a moment of shock, similar to when he first saw Bloom, which is replaced by pure fury.
  508. >Fucking hell, you didn't know his cute widdle baby face could look like that.
  509. >"Hello... Diamond, I-"
  510. >As soon as the girl speaks, Shining grabs her by the arm and yanks her through the doorway.
  511. >He shoots you a furious glare before slamming the door shut without a word.
  512. >...
  513. >Well... he didn't say you couldn't stand here, so it wouldn't be your fault if you overheard anything, would it?
  514. >Besides, with how pissed he looked, you probably should stick around and make sure you don't hear the sounds of domestic abuse or anything.
  515. >You lean in to eavesdrop while trying not to be too obvious about it.
  516. >You hear Shining's calm tenor, but he's speaking too quietly to be audible.
  517. >The girl, though, she gets very little in edgewise, but you catch a few bits and pieces.
  518. >"...isn't fair to you."
  519. >"...me if you want, but that doesn't..."
  520. >"...know I never meant to..."
  521. >"...didn't know what else to do, you wouldn't..."
  522. >About half a minute of nothing but Shining's muffled voice later, then you suddenly hear her much more clearly.
  523. >"If that's really your choice then I won't interfere. I'm sorry I couldn't have done more."
  524. >Fuck, she's coming to the door.
  525. >There's a clipboard on a shelf nearby that you pretend to be interested in, but as she leaves, she doesn't even seem to see you.
  526. >You hear a sniffle and catch a glimpse of red eyes as she hurries past you.
  527. >Turning around, you're face to face with Shining.
  528. >His face is red and you can't tell whether he's going to start crying or shouting.
  529. >"What did she tell you?"
  530. >You blink in indignation.
  531. "Sorry?"
  532. >"Stop fucking around and tell me what she said to get you to let her in here."
  533. "Nothing, she just said she wanted to see you, I wasn't aware I had to act as a fucking bouncer-"
  534. >"You didn't think that if I wanted to see her I would have?"
  535. "Calm down, I was just-"
  536. >"No, shut up."
  537. >He jabs a finger against your chest.
  538. >"Doing a few nice things for me does not fucking entitle you to interfere in my life!"
  539. >That was loud. You glance around in a panic.
  540. "Volume. Jesus, there are customers not twenty feet away-"
  541. >"Why not invite them back here to mess with me too?"
  542. "Look, if I'd have known it would cause you to have a fucking breakdown, I-"
  543. >"But you didn't, which is the point! You don't know me or my life!"
  544. >His finger jabs you again.
  545. "Touch me one more time, you'll lose the finger."
  546. >With a strained breath, he lowers his arm and pulls himself up straight.
  547. >"Go and tell Silver Spoon that she's banned from the premises. If I see her here again I'm immediately contacting the authorities. The same goes for anyone else you decide to bring around. Is that understood?"
  548. >His fierce eyes let you know he expects a response.
  549. "Crystal clear."
  550. >He nods.
  551. >"Now, as you said, we have customers, so go help them afterwards. I'm going back to trying to find a way to stop this place from hemorrhaging money. While you're snooping around my personal matters, I'm trying to save your fucking job. You're welcome for that."
  552. >He vanishes back into his office, slamming the door behind him.
  553. >...
  554. >Deep breaths.
  555. >No point in getting upset.
  556. >You silence the voices in your head, both the anger that wants to lash out at that brat, and the subtler voice of guilt telling you that you were out of line.
  557. >Doesn't change that the only thing you can do now is try and find that girl.
  558. >Silver Spoon.
  559. >You head outside, and sure enough, find her sitting on the curb in front of the entrance.
  560. "Hey."
  561. >Red eyes and a wet face greet you silently.
  562. "I'm sorry. But he said that you're banned from here, and it sounds like he means it."
  563. >She nods with resigned acceptance.
  564. "Look... I know it's none of my business, but I've gotten on his bad side before and it never lasts long. So... maybe things will work out."
  565. >She gives you a hopeful stare.
  566. "I mean... it's clear he cares for you. You know... men, right? We just can't express our feelings good, y'know? And Shining is really a man's man."
  567. >Fuck, you sound like a retard.
  568. >She squints her eyes at you.
  569. >Probably trying to judge just how much of a retard you are.
  570. >Whatever the answer is, it's funny enough to make her giggle.
  571. >You chuckle politely in return, but fall silent as you watch her giggling turn into full-blown heaving laughter.
  572. >"Oh... oh, that's a good one. I'll have to remember that. If things ever get better, I'll have to tell her that one."
  573. "Right... well, whatever you're talking about, I'm glad to have helped in some way."
  574. >You give a friendly wave farewell, and move to step back inside.
  575. >"Wait."
  576. >Aw, shit.
  577. "Look, honestly I'm not really good at dealing with breakups or-"
  578. >"Just... Sorry, just, one more thing, please?"
  579. >She bites her lip in thought.
  580. >"I think Shining depends on you. He was worried when he saw me talking to you, he thought I... anyway, that's not important. Do you... do you consider him a friend?"
  581. >...
  582. >Huh.
  583. >That should be a difficult question, yet...
  584. "Yeah. We're not the best of friends or anything, but... yeah."
  585. >Despite all the harsh words between the two of you, despite all the times you've wanted to knock his teeth in...
  586. >You don't really want to see the guy get hurt.
  587. >Maybe this day had to happen this way, maybe you needed to end up hurting him in order to understand that it's not something you'd ever enjoy.
  588. >He's part of your fucked-up family now, whether you like it or not.
  589. >Silver sighs in relief.
  590. >"That's good. He needs friends. Especially now. He's always been... difficult."
  591. >She shakes her head in thought.
  592. >"No, scratch that. He's not difficult. He's a fucking asshole. Always has been, probably always will be."
  593. >She smiles sadly.
  594. >"But he does care, in his own way. Like you said, he's just always been bad at showing it. So please... keep being his friend."
  595. >Fresh tears fill her eyes.
  596. >"He needs people that are close to him now, even if he thinks he doesn't. He wants to be alone, but I can tell that she's in so much pain right now, and I can't-"
  597. >Her voice cuts off with a choking sob.
  598. >"Please. Take care of Diamond."
  599. >You're speechless as she abruptly walks away.
  600. >She gets into a fancy car. It looks like Shining's, but a bright girly pink instead of his silver.
  601. >As she drives away, you try and sort out what she said.
  602. >She mentioned another woman... does Shining have a new girlfriend now?
  603. >Something's off. Between Silver, Bloom, and this mystery third girl...
  604. >Shining's never struck you as much of a Casanova.
  605. >Hell, until you met Bloom you were pretty sure he was gay.
  606. >And you've never seen any sign of a woman in his life, or anyone for that matter.
  607. >Other than his father.
  608. >Scratching your head, you slowly return to your job.
  609. >If Shining wants you to stay out of it, you should probably stay out of it.
  610. >And... you should probably apologize.
  611. >You might not know what the fuck is going on with him, but Silver's probably right.
  612. >Kid needs a break.
  613.  
  614. >It's a full day later, and Shining is the last one to leave work.
  615. >You know this because you let everyone else go early, so you could wait for Shining in the parking lot.
  616. >It's not until he's locked the door and taken several steps towards his car that he sees you there, leaning against the hood, a six-pack dangling from one hand.
  617. "...Hey."
  618. >He silently stares at you as you take a deep breath.
  619. "You were right, I was a jerk, and this here is my way of an apology."
  620. >He glances between you and the cans, as well as your hand placed on the shiny hood of his car.
  621. >Whoops.
  622. >You stand up quickly, hoping that you didn't leave any smudges, and extend your peace offering to him.
  623. >He takes it gingerly, as if he suspects it might be poisoned.
  624. >"...thank you."
  625. >Well, that went well. You think.
  626. "No problem. Sorry again, for... everything."
  627. >He nods.
  628. >You get out of the way, for him to enter his car.
  629. >And head home... alone.
  630. "Hey. You, uh, have you been to The Boulder yet?"
  631. >He looks to you with a confused 'why are you still here?' look.
  632. >"What?"
  633. "The Boulder. Maud, uh, Limestone's sister owns it. Technically a comedy club, but it's usually just Maud who does any standup, and she's... uh, well anyway it's pretty much the only place in town to have a drink without risk of getting stabbed."
  634. >He blinks at you in stunned silence.
  635. "So, uh, wanna check it out?"
  636. >"When we both have to be here tomorrow morning, bright and early?"
  637. "Well it's not like I was planning to get blackout drunk or anything. Right?"
  638. >"Why are you asking me?"
  639. >Fuck if you know.
  640. >Because you feel sorry for him?
  641. >Because you want to see if alcohol will get that stick out of his ass?
  642. "Because I think we should be better friends."
  643. >His eyes narrow in mistrust.
  644. >"Why? We have an amicable working relationship. A friendship would only cause problems should our interests become misaligned in the future."
  645. "You think that's likely?"
  646. >"It's possible."
  647. "Then if either of our futures is doomed, we should at least get a new friendship out of the whole deal."
  648. >His mouth hangs open as he searches for a response.
  649. >"Did Silver put you up to this?"
  650. "Would it make a difference if she did? Or are you just looking for an excuse?"
  651. >His face scrunches in anger.
  652. >"Why do you always do that?"
  653. "Do what?"
  654. >"Get in my head like that. Trying to find a reason for everything I do, making me seem like some kind of... lonely, neurotic, weirdo."
  655. >He folds his arms and hunches his shoulders.
  656. "Sorry. I certainly don't mean it. I do think you're a pretty cool guy, y'know. You're smart, and a hard worker."
  657. >He scoffs.
  658. >"Yeah, she definitely did."
  659. "Technically, she asked me to look out for you. I'm trying to give you copious amounts of alcohol, and will likely push you into doing something embarrassing in front of strangers. Not really the same thing."
  660. >He gives a short, bitter laugh.
  661. >"You're still making it sound like I'm a charity case."
  662. "Can you blame me?"
  663. >He blinks in shock.
  664. "Look, all I know about you is that your dad sent you to the ass end of nowhere, you've got a shitload of guilt over a not-girlfriend plus a lot of rage towards another girl for reasons I can't even begin to guess. You've got no friends that I can see, you don't talk about your hobbies, everyone else in the store hates your guts-"
  665. >"Is there a point to this?"
  666. "My point is that yeah, to me you do look like a charity case, but that's just because I only see you at work. I'd like to get to know a side of you that isn't dealing with any of that bullshit right now. And I'm sure you'd prefer to see a side of me that isn't a micromanaging dickhead."
  667. >You get a small chuckle at that.
  668. "So what do you say? We'll hear some shitty jokes, drink a couple beers, shoot the shit for a while, and hopefully make this cloud of awkwardness dissipate a little. Sound good?"
  669. >He doesn't move for a few seconds.
  670. >You're about to give up, but...
  671. >"Lead the way, I'll follow."
  672. >You smile, your heart feeling surprisingly much lighter, and head for your car.
  673.  
  674. "So... what was life for you like back in the city?"
  675. >You try to make conversation awkwardly.
  676. >Well, what did you expect? That you'd both joyfully chat about the latest sports game?
  677. >Even getting in was a pain. Shining got carded immediately, and you swear he was going to have a panic attack.
  678. >For a second you thought it was going to be revealed that he actually was even younger than he looked, but nope. He showed his ID, and the bartender looked confused for a moment, but let him order.
  679. >Fuck, was it a fake ID? Are you committing a crime right now?
  680. >"It was... busier. But a good kind of busy, you know?"
  681. >Oh, right, you had asked him a question.
  682. >"I used to do things like this more often. Going out with friends. Usually had louder music and pricier drinks. And way more drama..."
  683. >He shakes his head.
  684. >"Looking back, I wonder why I even tolerated all of it. School was always easy in comparison. My social life was my work."
  685. >Staring down at what a less kind and open-minded man than yourself might call a girly drink, he sighs.
  686. >"How do you do it?"
  687. "Do what?"
  688. >"...have fun."
  689. >You raise your eyebrows questioningly, and a moment later he buries his head in his hands.
  690. >"Oh God, that sounded absolutely pathetic, didn't it?"
  691. "You're not exactly beating the allegations of being a charity case."
  692. >You hear nothing, but see his chest start to heave in a laughing motion.
  693. >"Hey, it's not that uncommon to secretly dislike and resent your friends, is it?"
  694. "Uh... maybe?"
  695. >You shrug.
  696. "Guess I'm the opposite. I only express resentment towards the people that I secretly like."
  697. >"That... honestly sounds even dumber than my thing."
  698. >He takes another sip of his drink, and noticeably relaxes.
  699. >"But yeah, don't worry. I know how to have fun, and I know what a true friend is, and all that. I just... have had a lot on my mind for the past... several years."
  700. >His lips twist into a sad smile.
  701. "Fuck, man. I get that it must be stressful with your Dad being who he is and all, but that doesn't sound healthy."
  702. >He shrugs.
  703. "Can I ask... why? Why put up with friends like that if you didn't want to?"
  704. >He shrugs again.
  705. >"Guess I never thought I had a choice about it. They were the kids of my parents' friends and acquaintances, so they became mine."
  706. "That how you ended up in business school? Following in their footsteps?"
  707. >"No."
  708. >He sits up a little straighter.
  709. >"That's always been what I've wanted. Even if it wasn't for Father, I'd have taken the same path. I've always been good at it. Even when the math started to go over my head, it just made me want to work harder to learn it."
  710. >He smiles, perhaps the brightest smile you've ever seen from him.
  711. "So what are you doing here?"
  712. >You ask before thinking about it.
  713. "You're clearly smart, hard-working, easy to get along with at least some of the time... why did your Dad put you here instead of somewhere where your talents could go to some real use?"
  714. >His smile remains, but the joy leaves his eyes.
  715. >"...I'm not nearly drunk enough to answer that."
  716. >His eyes flicker downward.
  717. >"All I'll say is that... I screwed up. I lost Father's trust, and this is how I get it back."
  718. >A bitter silence falls over your table.
  719. >You take another swig of beer, which seemingly coaxes another remark from you.
  720. "Doesn't seem remotely fair to me."
  721. >He gives you that 'perplexed' look that shouldn't look as cute as it currently does.
  722. "Your Dad is a big 'self-made' man, right? I could understand if he threw you to the wolves and made you fend for yourself. I mean, I don't think that'd be right either, but at least I could understand it. Instead, he's keeping you right under his thumb. Not even giving you the chance to prove yourself properly, with your own venture. You deserve at least that."
  723. >He winces at your last remark.
  724. >"If you knew me when I was younger... you wouldn't feel the same way."
  725. "Well, who gives a shit about that?"
  726. >His eyes widen in surprise, and you can't help but smile. A part of you enjoys being able to keep him on his toes like this.
  727. "So you were a little terror as a kid. You pulled on little Apple Bloom's pigtails and made her cry, big deal. What matters is who you are now. And you're clearly capable. Your father's nuts if he doesn't realize that, Shining."
  728. >His gaze falls to the table as he sighs with an unclear emotion.
  729. >"...Diamond."
  730. "Huh?"
  731. >"Call me Diamond. My... my friends call me that."
  732. >Now that's... kinda weird, you have to admit.
  733. >He's already a bit... pretty, for a dude. Strange that he'd prefer to be called by his more feminine name, hell, you'd expect a name like that to be a soft spot for him.
  734. >Come to think of it, that's what Bloom and Silver called him, wasn't it?
  735. >Well, not like it makes a difference to you.
  736. "Diamond it is."
  737. >He looks... oddly happy when you say his name.
  738. >His cheeks flush and he smiles as he looks at you.
  739. >But it's a different smile than before.
  740. >It's... softer.
  741. >...
  742. >Something feels weird right now.
  743. >You have no idea what, but your brain is telling you that you're missing something important.
  744. >There's a strange feeling in your gut, growing stronger as you stare into Diamond's eyes.
  745. >It's almost like-
  746. >"hello anonymous."
  747. >You jump a little in your seat.
  748. >You hate it when she sneaks up on you like that.
  749. "Oh hey, Maud. How's it going? How's your standup routine?"
  750. >"not so good. i keep needing to dig for new material."
  751. >...
  752. "Ah, I get it. Good one."
  753. >"who are you with?"
  754. "Oh, right, Maud, meet Shining Diamond. He's new in town, so I thought I'd-"
  755. >"is he your boyfriend?"
  756. "WHAT? No, no-no-no, why-"
  757. >As you stammer your denial, you realize Diamond was unfortunate enough to be taking a sip of his cocktail at the worst moment.
  758. >He does a full-blown spit-take, showering you in spray and hitting Maud directly in the chest.
  759. >She doesn't react at all as you frantically wipe yourself.
  760. "We're just FRIENDS, Maud, Jesus, why would you ever think otherwise?"
  761. >"because you were staring lovingly into each other's eyes a moment ago."
  762. >Your jaw hangs open.
  763. >A little voice in your head tells you she's not exactly wrong, and you immediately silence it.
  764. "Well, you misread the situation. I'm not gay or anything."
  765. >Your eyes suddenly grow wide as you turn back to Diamond.
  766. "Seriously, I'm not- I didn't take you here to hit on you or anything."
  767. >Diamond's face has nearly turned purple and his lips are clamped shut.
  768. >He nods without looking in your direction as he hesitantly attempts to wipe an oblivious Maud's shirt with a napkin.
  769. >"so you're not gay?"
  770. "No! You can't assume that just because we... looked at each other. Or whatever you saw."
  771. >"i assumed you were gay for years."
  772. "Why?"
  773. >"because you kept ignoring all my attempts to seduce you."
  774. >...
  775. >"HIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiii..."
  776. >Diamond finally finds his voice.
  777. >Or rather, his voice comes out in a weird high-pitched squeal before he hurriedly changes it to sound more normal and significantly less gay.
  778. >"Um... hi, Maud, right? I'm Shining Diamond, it's good to meet you! I'm so so so sorry about your shirt, you can send me the cleaning bill-"
  779. >"that's ok i'm not wearing my good shirt today."
  780. "H-Hey... Maud, that was a joke, right?"
  781. >"no this really isn't my good shirt."
  782. "No, I meant about..."
  783. >"S-So you do standup?"
  784. "You said, um.. that you were..."
  785. >"That sounds... uh, so fun!"
  786. >Your eyes meet Diamond's in a panic as you realize how pathetic you both sound stammering over each other like this.
  787. >Maud is unmoved.
  788. >"yes i perform standup comedy. normally i would be starting my routine at this time but we have a guest performer today instead."
  789. >"Well that's nice! Isn't that nice, Anon? Uh, pal?"
  790. "Y-Yeah. Buddy."
  791. >You wince and take another sip of beer on reflex before leaping on Diamond's change of subject.
  792. "So someone else is doing a show, then? Did Trixie finally get you to give her a shot?"
  793. >"no. my sister is in town so i wanted to give her the chance to try her brand of humour in a more challenging environment."
  794. >Diamond looks confused.
  795. >"Your sister? You don't mean Limestone?"
  796. >"no limestone has no sense for comedic timing. i mean pinkie."
  797. "S-So... um, if we could get back to you, uh, seducing me?"
  798. >"no thanks. a girl can only take so much rejection before the raging magma of her heart cools into passionless granite."
  799. >"Wait. Pinkie.. Pie?"
  800. >Somehow Diamond has gone from the colour of an overripe tomato to pale as a ghost.
  801. >But you've got bigger things to worry about at this moment.
  802. "You know, I don't actually remember, uh, seeing any of that magma, so-"
  803. >"you wouldn't."
  804. >"Pinkie Pie is your SISTER?"
  805. >"magma is located underground."
  806. >"And she's coming HERE? Tonight?"
  807. >"people often confuse it with lava, which is magma that has been expelled onto the surface of the planet."
  808. "Well see, my point was- ow, what?"
  809. >Diamond has suddenly got up from his chair and is yanking on your sleeve.
  810. >"We have to go. Now."
  811. "Calm your tits, what's the problem?"
  812. >"I can't tell you now, but we have to GO, quickly, before she-"
  813. >"DIAMOND TIARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!~~"
  814. >Diamond's next words are turned into a desperate gasp as the air is squeezed out of her by a very familiar face to anyone that's gotten within five miles of Canterlot.
  815. >"OH MY GOSH IT'S BEEN SOOOOOOOOOOO LONG SINCE I SAW YOU!!~ IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY THAT I WAS THROWING YOU YOUR QUINCEAÑERA AND YOU LOOKED SO CUTE IN THAT LITTLE DRESS AND NOW LOOK AT YOUUUUUUUUU YOU'RE LIKE A BIG GROWN-UP WOMAN NOW AND WAIT WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SUIT AND TIE OOOH LET ME GUESS IS THERE A CROSSDRESSING PARTY SOMEWHERE I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD THOSE KINDS OF PARTIES HERE OR DID YOU LOSE A BET OR HANG ON IS THIS COSPLAY I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE COSPLAY OOOOOOH I GIVE UP BUT YOU CAN TELL ME LATER OH WOW THERE'S SO MUCH FOR US TO CATCH UP ON AND I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR HAIR TOO YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY BUT IN LIKE A REALLY CUTE WAY IT REMINDS ME OF THIS THING CALLED 'ANIME' THAT MARBLE SHOWED ME AND NOW SHE SAYS SHE REGRETS EVER-OOOOOF!"
  816. >Diamond's flailing arms finally manage to get a grip on Pinkie and wrench her off like an oversized barnacle.
  817. >Your jaw hangs limp as you process the words you heard.
  818. >Dress.
  819. >Quinceañera.
  820. >Crossdressing.
  821. >...Woman.
  822. >As a panting Diamond turns to face you, it's as if you see two people.
  823. >You see Shining, your boss, the guy you've slowly been getting to know for weeks now.
  824. >But you also see a young woman, with a slender frame, wide eyes, and delicate lips.
  825. >...Diamond.
  826. >You realize this woman is a familiar sight, one you've been seeing a lot of lately, but you never got the chance to step back and see the whole picture until now.
  827. >And now, that woman, Diamond, is looking at you like you're going to eat her alive.
  828. >"I'm sorry."
  829. >She runs.
  830. >She's out the door before you can even think to move.
  831. >By the time you stand, you've already seen her car outside the window, speeding away.
  832. >You sit back down as Maud helps Pinkie to her feet, immediately grab your beer, and down it.
  833. >Well, it's not like there's anything else for you to do right now.
  834. >And you're going to need a lot more of these before the night's finished.
  835.  
  836. "You're fucking high."
  837. >"Nah, man... I'm totally good!"
  838. >You stare Zephyr right in his glassy eyes as he tries to maintain his easygoing smile.
  839. >"Seriously, I haven't had a single puff!"
  840. "Sure. Look, just... go work in the back today, alright? I'll handle your register."
  841. >"Fine, but I'm telling ya..."
  842. >He shakes his head as he stumbles off.
  843. >Taking your position at the check-out, you give a friendly nod to Derpy at the second aisle.
  844. >It's the day after your big night out with Diamond, and you haven't seen her since.
  845. >She's presumably holed up in her office. Normally she'd have come out by now, checked on things, and maybe chatted with you.
  846. >It's weird to think of... her. As a her, that is.
  847. >You've thought about knocking, or even just barging in.
  848. >But then you remember that look of terror on her face when you last saw her.
  849. >And it wasn't just then, come to think of it.
  850. >Any time you were close to uncovering the truth, she started to panic.
  851. >But why?
  852. >Last night you got what information you could from Pinkie. But beyond the fact that her real name was Diamond Tiara, she used to be best friends with Silver Spoon, and apparently had a reputation for being a bit of a spoiled bully in high school... she didn't have anything useful.
  853. >You still don't know why she's pretending to be someone completely different. Or why she's not on speaking terms with Silver anymore.
  854. >After questioning Pinkie, the night is a bit of a blur. You drank more than you intended, and are feeling a bit hungover today.
  855. >You sigh and shift your weight from side to side.
  856. >The morning crowd has come and gone, and it's not likely you'll get more than a couple customers in the couple hours left before closing.
  857. >There's certainly no need for there to be two active checkouts right now.
  858. >You walk off to do a quick sweep of things. The store is clean, and everything seems to be where it should be.
  859. >The break room is a bit messy. Lightning brought in some cupcakes this morning to celebrate some new personal record she set, and there are still crumbs on the table.
  860. >You spend a few seconds tidying up.
  861. >Fucking Zephyr never cleans after himself, especially whenever he gets the munchies like this.
  862. >After the room is clean, you still find yourself aimlessly pacing back and forth.
  863. >Fuck it.
  864. >You walk out of the now-spotless break room and march straight toward the manager's office.
  865. >You get as far as lifting your arm to knock on the door before you stop yourself.
  866. >This is a terrible idea.
  867. >If Diamond wanted to talk to you, she would.
  868. >What right do you have to force a conversation?
  869. >You're not so cynical as to think that you're just trying to satisfy your selfish curiosity.
  870. >You're worried for her. A lot.
  871. >She's terrified of the fact that you know her secret.
  872. >But despite your instincts telling you to rush in and make her understand that you have no intention of hurting her...
  873. >It would just make things worse.
  874. >If you want to help, you need her to trust you, and right now that means staying silent and giving her space.
  875. >With a heavy sigh, you drop your arm and step back from the door.
  876. >And at that moment a terrifyingly loud crash makes you leap in fright.
  877. >You could hear exactly where it came from. Without thinking about it any further, you rush out back into the aisles.
  878. >It only takes a few seconds before you see the devastation.
  879. >One of the massive row of shelves, the one furthest from the entrance, has completely toppled over.
  880. >Various liquids pool on the floor, slowly seeping from shattered bottles of cooking oil, vinegar, and countless other items.
  881. >If that wasn't enough, parts of the shelf have smashed through the closest freezer door, scattering various meat products into the chaotic mess.
  882. >And on the opposite end of the aisle is Derpy, mouth agape, and arms flung high in panic.
  883. "What the fuck..."
  884. >"I... I slipped..."
  885. >You barely hear Derpy's voice as she whispers.
  886. >You quickly, but carefully move to the freezer. There are still undamaged items, and they'll need to be moved fast.
  887. >But you don't want to risk reaching through the jagged hole of the glass door, and a tentative tug confirms you can't open the door with the fallen shelf in the way.
  888. >You try and get a grip on the end of the shelf as you hear frantic footsteps behind you.
  889. >"Oh JESUS!"
  890. >"What the FUCK, Derpy?"
  891. >"Oh man, oh man..."
  892. >The shelf doesn't budge, it's got to be caught on something.
  893. >"Derpy, how the fuck did this happen?"
  894. >Limestone's screeching voice echoes throughout the store.
  895. >"I don't... I just don't know what..."
  896. >"This can't be fucking real, dude..."
  897. "Zephyr, shut the fuck up and help me move this thing."
  898. >"What happened?"
  899. >Your breath hitches as you hear Diamond's curt voice.
  900. >"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
  901. >"Derpy. What. HAPPENED?"
  902. >You hear Derpy choke back a sob.
  903. >"Limestone was st-stacking some bottles of vinegar, a-and then she had to leave all of a sudden, and I-I know I'm not supposed to touch things like that, but sh-she just left them! In the m-middle of the aisle!"
  904. >"Lightning said there was a call for me!"
  905. >"But you di-didn't come back, and I kept worrying about wh-what if someone trips on them, and I j-just imagined Dinky running down the aisle even though I tell her not to do that..."
  906. >"Hold on, Limey, dude, you just left that shit lying in the middle of the floor?"
  907. >"I told you I got a call from Maud! I didn't know SHE was going to wander over and start touching everything!"
  908. >Derpy starts to sob uncontrollably.
  909. >While trying to shift the shelf, you knock another shard of glass from from the freezer door.
  910. "OK, I shouldn't be trying to move this shit on my own, can someone PLEASE help?"
  911. >"It wasn't an emergency Limestone, jeez, you could've finished stacking the fucking bottles!"
  912. >"Why the FUCK are you mad at me?"
  913. "Lightning! Limestone! Knock it off!"
  914. >"This is fucked, man... this shit is really fucked, man..."
  915. >"Shut the FUCK up, Zephyr! This is your fault more than it is mine!"
  916. >"Limestone, please calm down!"
  917. >"Don't tell ME to calm down you little faggot bitch! I fucking TOLD Zephyr to finish for me!"
  918. >"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
  919. "Derpy, snap out of it! Everything will be fine..."
  920. >"Zephyr? Is that true?"
  921. >"Fuck no, I never talked to you!"
  922. >"I fucking CALLED for you!"
  923. >"I was in the back doing inventory, I didn't fucking hear anything!"
  924. >"What the fuck? You were supposed to be up front with Derpy!"
  925. >"Anon told me to! He said he'd cover for me!"
  926. >"So where the fuck were YOU, Anon?"
  927. "I was just going to talk to Di- to Shining-"
  928. >Lightning interrupts you immediately.
  929. >"So nobody other than Derpy was actually out here?"
  930. >"So fucking WHAT, dude? There's nobody even here! Derpy should be able to just fucking sit still!"
  931. >"You BOTH left DERPY alone!"
  932. >"Lightning, PLEASE calm down..."
  933. >"I just did what Anon ordered, why the fuck are you still yelling at me?"
  934. >"Because you're clearly fucking HIGH AT WORK you stupid bastard!"
  935. >"And Limestone fucked off to go have a social call with her sister! SHE left Derpy alone!"
  936. "Fuck, look, it was my fucking fault, alright? I'll take all the blame, just stop fucking around and help me!"
  937. >"How the hell is it your fault? Derpy still knocked the thing over!"
  938. >"You know it's not her fault!"
  939. >"No, fuck this, fuck her, I'm sick of taking all this shit from you guys while she gets nothing but sympathy for her fuckups!"
  940. >"FUCK YOU! And you too, Anon!"
  941. >"ENOUGH!"
  942. >Diamond shouts with more bloodcurdling force than you could have imagined.
  943. >The group falls silent, apart from Derpy's soft sobbing.
  944. >"I'm disappointed in all of you."
  945. >Diamond looks you in the eye.
  946. >"Including you."
  947. "Diamond, I just-"
  948. >She flinches, and squeezes her eyes shut before continuing as if you hadn't spoke.
  949. >"But right now there is one simple truth that needs to be addressed. And that is the cost of this accident. This cannot continue. The store cannot remain profitable under these conditions. I made it clear when I came to this store that I would do whatever it took to save this place, and unfortunately I've run out of options."
  950. >"I'm... I'm sorry, please..."
  951. >"Derpy, stop."
  952. >"I'll... remember better, I'll be more careful..."
  953. >"Derpy, you're fired. Effective today."
  954. >There's a moment of total silence.
  955. "Diamond, listen to me. I'm taking full responsibility-"
  956. >"I'm sorry, Anon."
  957. >"What the fuck, man..."
  958. >"What did you fucking say?"
  959. "I failed to keep an eye on her, you should fire me!"
  960. >"You can't be expected to watch her every second! You tried, we all tried to help her succeed, but it's just not working!"
  961. >"Just who do you think you are, bitch? You think you can just waltz in here and do that to her?"
  962. "Slow down and think about this, I know I can find a way-"
  963. >"I've been looking, Anon! There is no other way! Accidents like this happen constantly with her around! She's driving us out of business, hell she might have just finished the job today!"
  964. >"I just... don't know... what went wrong..."
  965. >"It's done. I'm sorry. I really am. But it had to be done."
  966. >Diamond stares at the ground, jaw clenched.
  967. >There's another terrifying silence, and then-
  968. >"FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
  969. >Limestone moves forward, and in the blink of an eye swings her fist straight into Diamond's face.
  970. >For a brief instant you can clearly see Diamond's head snap back, a thick spray of blood leading from her nose.
  971. >Her legs stumble back to try and find their footing, and instantly slip in the thick oil now coating the floor.
  972. >Before you can even think to move, Diamond falls.
  973. >Her head falls limply against the floor with a sickening crack.
  974. >You finally move.
  975. >Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Lightning tackle Limestone, who only stares blankly in shock.
  976. "Diamond!"
  977. >The shout just bursts from your body as you crouch over her.
  978. >You see her blink several times as you try and examine her head without moving it.
  979. >"Oh God... I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt her."
  980. >"What the FUCK, man? What the fuck is going on, man?"
  981. >"Shit, Limey, what the fuck were you thinking?"
  982. >"Stop it... Please, everyone stop fighting..."
  983. >You try to tune out the voices behind you and give Diamond your full attention.
  984. >"Wha...whawasat?"
  985. >Diamond's speech is slurred as she suddenly lifts her head up.
  986. "Stay still."
  987. >"Heyanon...whazzyadoin?"
  988. >You gently grasp Diamond's head and move it so her eyes catch the light.
  989. "Diamond, one of your pupils is bigger than the other."
  990. >"Youstarinatmuheyesgain?"
  991. >She start to laugh, only to cough. Blood sprays onto your shirt.
  992. "I'm taking you to the hospital."
  993. >You turn to the others.
  994. >Lightning is still gripping Limestone tightly.
  995. >Limestone is quivering in shock.
  996. >Zephyr is hyperventilating.
  997. >Derpy has sunk to the floor and is rocking rhythmically with her hands over her head.
  998. >It's not alright to leave them, but you don't have a choice.
  999. "Clean what you can, then lock up. We're all taking tomorrow off. After that, then..."
  1000. >You can't finish that thought.
  1001. "Just, look after yourselves. Please."
  1002. >"Mnanon...gottabwowmuhnose..."
  1003. "Hang on Diamond, we're gonna stand up now."
  1004. >"Mmmkay..."
  1005. >She clings to your chest as you help her rise and slowly shuffle towards the exit.
  1006. >"Sowwy...gotsumfinonyershirt..."
  1007. "Don't worry about it, you're doing good, just a little farther."
  1008. >"Fanksferhelpinme..."
  1009. >You hug her tighter.
  1010. "Doing good. Real good."
  1011. >Step by step, you lead her out to your car, leaving the broken remains of the closest thing you had to a family behind.
  1012.  
  1013. >Things at the hospital go about what you'd expect.
  1014. >Diamond had a nap in your car, and looked significantly better by the time you arrived. Still tired, but her eyes were alright and the few words she spoke were clear.
  1015. >There weren't any dramatic, pained looks from the staff. Nothing to indicate this was anything but a routine bump on the head.
  1016. >Of course, they still had a million tests they wanted to run, and Diamond quietly agreed to it all.
  1017. >If it was you, you'd probably try and sleep it off with a bit of ice, but fuck it, she's got the money.
  1018. >After awkwardly standing around near her while she was ferried to and from various equipment, they said she was basically fine, but wanted her to stay the night just in case.
  1019. >You wouldn't have minded staying with her longer, but you figured it was only a matter of time before her folks showed up, which would probably be uncomfortable for everyone.
  1020. >Plus, you got the feeling the staff weren't too happy on you hanging around. You can't really blame them. After all, you brought in a young woman, said she'd been punched in the nose, and carefully avoided elaborating on who did it.
  1021. >It was still pretty early in the evening when you drove home.
  1022. >Opening your fridge revealed a few bottles of beer that looked really tempting.
  1023. >You immediately tossed them in the trash.
  1024. >If you hadn't been irresponsible yesterday, things probably would've gone differently today.
  1025. >You're not stupid or depressed enough to blame yourself, but you're also not going to continue contributing to the problems at hand.
  1026. >Even though it's probably too late to try and save anything.
  1027. >Not only is Derpy's already gone, but Limestone will be probably lucky if she stays out of jail.
  1028. >It's almost exactly what you feared would happen when Diamond first walked into your life.
  1029. >You were confident that with a bit of luck, you could stop disaster from striking.
  1030. >That was foolish.
  1031. >You realize that you've been pacing back and forth for the better part of an hour.
  1032. >With only a brief hesitation, you grab your keys and head out again.
  1033. >You're going back to the store.
  1034. >Diamond is smarter than you when it comes to finances. If she says there's no way to keep Derpy around, then you believe her.
  1035. >But anyone can make a mistake. Forget to carry the 2. Assume money's going to the wrong place. Lose an important scrap of paper.
  1036. >If she made even one minor mistake, then maybe...
  1037. >You don't expect to find anything, but you can't live with not trying.
  1038. >You stop to grab a few energy drinks along the way. This is going to be a long night.
  1039.  
  1040. >You wake up slowly.
  1041. >Sunlight comes in through the window blinds like daggers.
  1042. >Your head is on Diamond's desk, fallen there in the middle of studying the various documents littering the desktop, drawers, filing cabinets...
  1043. >You just hope you didn't drool on anything important.
  1044. >As you carefully stretch out all the little aches in your body, you reflect on your progress so far.
  1045. >It's not much.
  1046. >Derpy was costing the store way, way more money than you had thought.
  1047. >With all the individual incident logs in front of your nose, there was no denying that Diamond's concerns were accurate.
  1048. >Throughout the long night, you only found one tiny shred of hope.
  1049. >One of the incidents attributed to Derpy was on a date where Derpy wasn't at work. She had to take Dinky to the doctor's at the last minute, and had run out of sick days.
  1050. >You covered her shift, and never told Cranky. On paper, she worked that day and got paid for it. Only you know differently.
  1051. >You have no idea how Derpy ended up taking the fall for the couple dozen tomatoes that apparently got squashed that day, but you know she's innocent of this one.
  1052. >And that means that she might be innocent of others.
  1053. >Hopefully.
  1054. >You take a deep breath and try to let the tension of worrying about Derpy's job leave your body.
  1055. >Only for it to be replaced with worry for Diamond.
  1056. >Taking another look at the sun, you figure it's early enough to try visiting her.
  1057. >You use your phone to take a picture of that paper, plus a few other ones that caught your eye.
  1058. >You don't plan on interrogating Diamond yet, but there's no harm in having a copy safely in your pocket.
  1059. >As you leave the store, you check once again on the damage caused from yesterday.
  1060. >They did an alright job. The freezer door is safely covered with cardboard and the shelf looks normal, if a little emptier than usual.
  1061. >With a final smile of appreciation for your team, you head for your car.
  1062.  
  1063. >She's awake.
  1064. >And from the moment that you see her glance your way, you know that she's herself again.
  1065. >As you enter her room, you realize it's the first time you've gotten the chance to really look at her since you've known the truth.
  1066. >Her shirt is unbuttoned at the top, and you can see two bumps that definitely weren't showing before. She must have had some kind of binding that got removed.
  1067. >Her hair is uncombed. Although still quite short and boyish, it naturally frames her face in a way that looks far more feminine than what you're used to.
  1068. >You always thought that 'Shining' had a feminine face, but the first glance has you wondering why you were fooled so easily by such a strikingly pretty girl.
  1069. >You figure it out with the second glance. It's the way that there's a slight amount of tension present in her face. A slightly furrowed brow, flared nostrils, and stiffened upper lip. You have no idea if she's consciously doing it, but it gives her face just enough strong, angular lines to pass as masculine.
  1070. >You think of how she looked two nights ago, when you got those butterflies in your stomach. That might have been the most relaxed you've ever seen her.
  1071. >You really, really wish you could see her like that again.
  1072. "Hey."
  1073. >"...Hi."
  1074. >She doesn't meet your eyes.
  1075. "They're pretty good here. The doctors. I mean, I've only been in for a few stitches and stuff, but if they say you're alright I think you can trust them."
  1076. >She nods.
  1077. "Have your parents been in yet? I don't see any... I don't know, flowers, or..."
  1078. >"No."
  1079. "...Are they coming in?"
  1080. >"I didn't tell them."
  1081. "...Why not?"
  1082. >"Because they can't help me, and it would have just caused more problems."
  1083. "What problems?"
  1084. >Her lips grow tight.
  1085. "Diamond, you could have been permanently brain-damaged, and you didn't even think to call your parents? What the fuck could be so horrible that you won't even tell them anything? Is this all part of your dad's test? Is 'Shining Diamond' part of that test?"
  1086. >"You already know way too much."
  1087. "So might as well tell me the rest."
  1088. >"I can't."
  1089. >Her nose twitches. It almost looks like she's trying not to cry.
  1090. >You take a seat. Close, but not too close to her bed.
  1091. "I want to be your friend, Diamond."
  1092. >Both of you stare at the ground.
  1093. "I want to help you. Even if I can't do anything about it, I can tell you need to talk to someone."
  1094. >"You'll end up regretting it."
  1095. "There's a lot I regret. I regret getting pissy at you as soon as we met. I regret messing with you by using Silver. And I really regret everything about yesterday. But I promise I will never regret trying to help you."
  1096. >You hear her sniffle.
  1097. "I mean it."
  1098. >"I know. That's why this sucks. Because you're going to be disappointed in me."
  1099. "Maybe. But that doesn't change my mind."
  1100. >Silence.
  1101. >"You know what I was thinking about before you showed up? I was thinking about Limestone, and I thought to myself: 'Now I have leverage. Now, I can force both Anon and the Pie family to keep my secret. They can't tell anyone, or I'll press charges against Limestone.' That's how my mind works. I was going to use a young woman's freedom as a bargaining chip."
  1102. >She looks at you directly. Her eyes are wet.
  1103. >"I'm not a good person, Anon."
  1104. "Bullshit."
  1105. >"I just said-"
  1106. "You thought about it, so what? You didn't do it. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, it means you're in a really bad situation, and you're desperate for a way out."
  1107. >She gulps, and her bottom lip quivers.
  1108. "I won't tell anyone that. I promise. No matter what happens to Limestone or Derpy. Even though a part of me wants to do anything to protect them, too. I understand exactly how you feel. And I think the same thing that's stopping me from... from blackmailing you, or whatever, is the same thing stopping you."
  1109. >Her eyes drift as she thinks about what you said.
  1110. >"I... don't trust people like that. Maybe I can't..."
  1111. "You've got to. At one time in your life or another. And... I think that time for you is now."
  1112. >You manage to come up with a couple more clever ways to try and convince her, before she suddenly starts to speak.
  1113. >"I had extremely high grades in college. I was the youngest one in all my classes. I knew that people disliked me because of that. I... tried my best to not brag about it, but looking back, I probably did. A lot."
  1114. >The corner of her mouth pulls up, and for an instant you can see her as she must have been. A smug rich girl, but the kind that you couldn't fully hate even if you wanted to.
  1115. >"I knew it made me stand out, I didn't realize it made me... vulnerable. That was my first mistake. My second was not listening to rumour. I had a professor that everyone else thought was creepy. I thought he was cool. Until the day that I realized he had been playing me."
  1116. >She hasn't been making eye contact with you, but she still turns her head away in embarrassment, staring at the glass of water next to her bed.
  1117. >"He knew how much I cared about my grades. So he gave me an extension on an assignment, then failed me for not meeting the deadline, denying that we had ever had that agreement. I'd have to retake the class, and get the previous failure expunged from my record. Even if I could, it would cost a lot of time. I was already planning my graduation party. My parents would be furious. So then I made my third mistake. I figured... why not? Why not just get it over with? Why not just stop arguing, get on my knees, and it would be over before I knew it, and..."
  1118. >She hugs the bedsheets around herself like a shield.
  1119. >"And that was that. I was back to my normal life. Impressive GPA. Admiration of my peers. And Father was so proud when they handed over my degree. I never thought about... that. Or at least I tried my best not to. It was really just... a business transaction. One where I was shamefully outplayed. And then..."
  1120. >She grasps her head in her hands, as if it suddenly became too heavy for her body.
  1121. "Shit, are you in pain? Should I call-"
  1122. >"I'm OK, it's just... You have to understand, all hell broke loose. He had been doing things like that to many students over the years, and he finally did it to the wrong one. She accused him, there was an investigation, and... he kept recordings. Names. They were supposed to be kept confidential. Evidence. They didn't stay that way."
  1123. >She hugs her legs to her chest as tears run down her face.
  1124. >"I don't know if my... video got leaked. I've never worked up the nerve to look. But my name did. Everyone knew, at least everyone who knew us, who were 'worth knowing'. And Father... I've never seen him get like that before. He was heartbroken, and furious. He wouldn't listen. He accused me of... doing that... with others. He said that my degree was a fraud, that I was a whore..."
  1125. "Jesus, Diamond..."
  1126. >"I just couldn't make him understand. I couldn't... he looked at me, and he just saw every single time I had lied before. Abused my status, my money, my looks... He finally believed that I had earned something meaningful on my own merit, and to him, this was proof that it was just another lie. So... he gave me a test."
  1127. >She wipes her face and looks you in the eye.
  1128. >"No allowance. No calling for help. I go to a failing business, and I turn it around. And I do it as a man. No special privileges. Just the car and enough to pay for essentials. Just like he did it, when he was my age. And if I let anyone find out the truth, that's proof that I rely on my sex to get what I want, that I couldn't make the cut if I was a man. If I pass, I get it all back. My inheritance, my house in Canterlot, vice president in the company, everything. If I fail, I'm out. He won't leave me destitute, but I'd... I wouldn't be his daughter anymore."
  1129. >She swallows stiffly.
  1130. >"But I guess... all that's in your hands now."
  1131. >As Diamond finishes her story, it's as if your brain remembers that you can move, and then one thought fills your head.
  1132. >She's scared. You need have to help her.
  1133. >You lean forward, and wrap both arms around her in a gentle hug.
  1134. >She's very warm, and soft, and you can feel her trembling.
  1135. >Then your brain gives you a wakeup call. With everything she just talked about, it's probably a bad idea to go touching her without her clear permission.
  1136. >You let go and comically deflate back into your chair.
  1137. "Sorry, I... wasn't thinking."
  1138. >"Do that again."
  1139. >She lowers her gaze, tucking her head behind her legs, so that all you see are her wide, wet, pleading eyes.
  1140. >"Please?"
  1141. >You feel yourself blush, but force your terrified limbs to move.
  1142. >Taking another risk, you gently pat her head before dropping your arm around her shoulders.
  1143. >Her hair is really soft, and you feel pressure as she leans into your touch.
  1144. >Your other arm reaches around, and you carefully pull the shivering Diamond ball to your chest.
  1145. >She nestles her head under your chin.
  1146. "It's going to be alright."
  1147. >She makes a quiet whine of doubt.
  1148. "It will, trust me. Nobody else knows, and if they find out, I'll make sure they understand to keep quiet. We'll fix everything with the business. I've already found something... we can go over it together."
  1149. >"I'm sorry."
  1150. "Don't be."
  1151. >"I was stupid..."
  1152. "Someone who was supposed to guide and protect you abused that power. That's not your fault."
  1153. >"It is... I deserve this..."
  1154. "Now that's just silly."
  1155. >You squeeze her tighter.
  1156. "Your dad is a dick. Even if what happened was your fault, and it wasn't, but even if it was, that's just a mistake. I've only known you for a matter of months, and I know you're smart, capable, and a fast learner. He has no right to question your competence like this."
  1157. >"I shouldn't be asking you to lie for me."
  1158. "I'm happy to do it, seriously. Your dad is a dick and you shouldn't have to go through any of this."
  1159. >"Yeah... thanks..."
  1160. >You softly rub her back, and it isn't long until you hear soft little snores.
  1161.  
  1162. >The days pass in a blur.
  1163. >Work starts to eclipse what little life you had outside of it.
  1164. >It's hard. Nobody laughs anymore, or talks much.
  1165. >When you're not making up for the absence of Derpy and Limestone, you're in Diamond's office, pouring over ancient reports and interrogating your weak memory of Derpy's various accidents.
  1166. >Most of the time, the two of you end up staying late.
  1167. >It's hard work, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy being alone with her.
  1168. >Bit by bit, you started to be convinced that something was deeply wrong.
  1169. >Not only were there more instances where Derpy couldn't have been at fault, but there were inconsistencies in the extent of the damage.
  1170. >For the last incident, there were several meat items that had to be trashed, including a few packages of pork chops. But you can distinctly remember those being fine.
  1171. >It all pointed to one thing, something that you didn't want to believe.
  1172. >"So whazzup?"
  1173. >Lightning Dust leans over the chair facing Diamond's desk.
  1174. >"We were hoping you could help us with a few things."
  1175. >Diamond smiles professionally.
  1176. >You didn't want her to take the lead on this, but you know you couldn't handle the job.
  1177. >"First of all, I wanted to ask about something that happened a few months ago..."
  1178. >She pulls out a calendar that you've thoroughly marked with all of Derpy's accidents.
  1179. >"...and you're sure that Derpy was responsible?"
  1180. >"Well, yeah? I mean if that's what it says, then yeah?"
  1181. >Diamond's questioning continues.
  1182. >And every time Lightning claims a lack of memory or outright evades the question, that pain in your gut grows.
  1183. >"...well, the issue is that Anon tells the story differently."
  1184. >"OK? Where is this going?"
  1185. >"I'm just trying to resolve a few discrepancies."
  1186. >"Because it sounds like you're starting to accuse me of something."
  1187. >"That's not what-"
  1188. "We are."
  1189. >You're tired.
  1190. "We're saying you've been stealing from the store, and blaming the missing inventory on Derpy's accidents."
  1191. >You take a deep breath and try to keep your voice steady.
  1192. "You knew that we were struggling. Why keep going? If you needed money, you could've asked me. You know I've helped the others in the past."
  1193. >Lightning stares blankly at you.
  1194. >"You're serious?"
  1195. >"I wish we weren't. But you're the one common factor with all of these cases."
  1196. >Diamond folds her hands with an air of finality.
  1197. >"Wow... that's some crazy detective shit, dude."
  1198. >Lightning's face splits into a grin.
  1199. >"Good work, Ms. Tiara."
  1200. >Diamond's jaw drops.
  1201. >You probably don't look much better.
  1202. >Lightning just chuckles at the two of you and starts fiddling with her phone.
  1203. >"Yeah, I can do detective shit too. Got a few contacts at Crystal, old track buddies and stuff. When I heard Mr. Shining was from there, I called them up. None of them knew Mr. Rich's son, but his daughter... boy, they had a LOT to say about her!"
  1204. >Diamond recovers quickly.
  1205. >"If you think that knowledge gives you some sort of bargaining chip, I would advise caution."
  1206. >Lightning responds without looking, still tapping on her phone.
  1207. >"That so? Go on."
  1208. >"As you can see, Anon isn't surprised by my identity. True, it's a secret, but not a very well-kept one. You're trying to threaten me with nothing more than social embarrassment, whereas your activities are criminal. Now, I entered this meeting prepared to hear your side of the story, and depending on how you presented the situation, offer my silence. Threatening me isn't a good way to-"
  1209. >"Hold on! Here we go, knew it was here somewhere."
  1210. >Lightning turns her phone around, that cheerful smile still firmly in place.
  1211. >For a second, you're confused. Why the hell would Lightning be showing you porn right now?
  1212. >But you just weren't used to seeing Diamond with long hair.
  1213. >You know exactly what that is, and before you've fully processed that fact, you lunge at Lightning, slapping the phone from her hand and shoving her against the door.
  1214. >"Whoa! Easy, champ! You really don't wanna play it like this, do you?"
  1215. >Lightning holds her hands up in surrender, but keeps the shit-eating grin.
  1216. >"It's on the internet, you know. Slapping me around ain't gonna change that, big guy."
  1217. >You shake your head, as if it would somehow make the person in front of you someone else.
  1218. >Someone you didn't know. Someone cartoon villain in a black mask.
  1219. >Someone you didn't consider a friend until this very minute.
  1220. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  1221. >"Calm down, dude! Like you've never taken a little something from work? This is no different."
  1222. "You let Derpy get FIRED to cover your ass!"
  1223. >"And now, I'm getting her back! Her AND Limestone. Unless Ms. Tiara would prefer half the town getting a certain not-safe-for-work video showing up in their email from a mysterious source."
  1224. >She lowers her arms and switches her grin for a sympathetic smile.
  1225. >"Things will go right back to how they were, Nonny. The whole gang together again. That's what you want too, right?"
  1226. "Go back to the lie? Pretending that we're friends? Pretending you're not taking advantage of everyone?"
  1227. >"I never lied to you. You just never looked that hard. Why are you looking now? Why do you care? Because of her? How about I set you up with some of my friends? You'll forget all about-"
  1228. "Get the fuck out."
  1229. >There's a pause, before she shrugs and picks her phone off the floor.
  1230. >"Alright, alright. I think I've made my position pretty clear, so you two talk it out and do whatever you gotta do. You know how to reach me."
  1231. >She pauses and looks back just as she passes through the door.
  1232. >"Look, either way, I want you to know: no hard feelings on my end. You're a great boss, Anon."
  1233. >She walks away.
  1234. >You turn to check on Diamond.
  1235. >She's pale, but otherwise the perfect picture of stoicism.
  1236. >Until you both hear the roar of Lightning's motorcycle leaving the parking lot, and she immediately bursts into tears.
  1237. >You rush to her side, but Diamond raises a hand to stop you.
  1238. >"I-I'm fine. I'm fine."
  1239. "No, you're not. Look, I can't even imagine what-"
  1240. >"It's not a problem. This changes nothing."
  1241. >She brushes the tears off her face angrily, as if she could stop them from flowing with sheer willpower.
  1242. "Diamond... whatever you're feeling, it's OK to let it out."
  1243. >"Not yet. I still have work to do."
  1244. >She starts sorting through the papers on her desk.
  1245. "Leave that alone for now."
  1246. >"No."
  1247. "...Diamond, we should go somewhere to talk about-"
  1248. >"I don't want that bitch to get away with this for a second longer than absolutely necessary."
  1249. >You have a bad feeling about how Diamond said that.
  1250. "What are you going to do?"
  1251. >"I'll make sure I have all the evidence in order, then I'll go to the police first thing in the morning."
  1252. "What? But she'll..."
  1253. >You can't finish the thought.
  1254. >"That's irrelevant. It's the right thing to do. Besides, I refuse to let myself be blackmailed."
  1255. "Let's just talk about it first."
  1256. >"No point. You heard her. She can't be reasoned with."
  1257. "But maybe we can find another way..."
  1258. >"Either we expose her, or she stays. We have no reason to fire her otherwise. It's cut and dry, Anon. I don't want to pull rank on you, but this isn't your choice to make."
  1259. "Will you please just slow down and think about what will happen to you? Not just with the video, but your father? He's going to..."
  1260. >"What he chooses to do is up to him. It's not my place to interfere. Besides, I've already failed the test anyway, it doesn't matter if I fail again."
  1261. "You haven't failed yet! And you don't deserve to fail! Just please let me help you!"
  1262. >Diamond finally looks at you.
  1263. >"What makes you say that? How do you know I don't deserve this? How much do you really know about me?"
  1264. "Nobody deserves to be punished for something they didn't do!"
  1265. >"And now you're the judge of that? You know, my whole life I've heard people tell me what I 'deserve', and it's different every time. 'You deserve to be a princess.' 'You deserve a spanking.' 'You deserve a better mother.' 'You deserve a true friend.' 'You deserve a better butler.' 'You deserve to be kicked to the curb.' Look, how about you and Father and everyone else all get together and you can all argue with each other about what it is that I 'deserve', OK? Because I'm SICK of hearing it!"
  1266. >She slams her fist on the table.
  1267. >"Better yet, why don't you go find Silver Spoon? You two would get along great, you have all sorts of GREAT ideas on how to make my life SO much better!"
  1268. "What's she got to do with anything?"
  1269. >"She was the last person who gave me what I 'deserved'. Even though I BEGGED her not to do it. I knew, I fucking KNEW that things would end up like this! It was the only time in my life that I really, truly needed her help, and she... she did the right thing."
  1270. >Diamond gives up on trying to stop the tears.
  1271. >"I didn't even know she was in that class. By the time she told me, it was too late. I couldn't do anything to stop it. Only she didn't shut up and take it. She turned down his deal. She was... brave. And I... I tried to stop her from talking about it."
  1272. >Her face cracks in a silent sob, and she clutches the table to stop herself from falling.
  1273. >"She c-c-came to me... and she was s-so scared... She needed me. She needed me to be s-strong for her... to help tell her what to do. Not just for her, but for everyone. To stop him from hurting anyone else. And I... I begged her not to do it... and the look on her face. I never, ever thought I would see that from her. I never th-thought I could h-hurt her like that!"
  1274. >Her hands clench around her hair, as if she was about to rip it out.
  1275. >"All I c-could think about was me! And the embarrassment, and the sh-shame! My friend... my ONLY real friend needed me. And I betrayed her... and I hated her for it. I HATED her because she did the right thing, and I got what I deserved!"
  1276. >Diamond shakes with uncontrollable sobbing.
  1277. >"I'm... I'm the worst..."
  1278. >You reach out a hand to her.
  1279. >You can't think about what she's said. You can't begin to judge her, all you want is to comfort her.
  1280. >But she pushes you away.
  1281. >"S-Stop. Stop c-caring about me. I don't deserve friends."
  1282. "Diamond..."
  1283. >"Don't be like Silver. I don't want you to get... I don't want to hurt you too. Just go."
  1284. "Please, don't do anything..."
  1285. >"Go. This is my choice to make."
  1286. >...
  1287. >"Go."
  1288. >The words aren't coming.
  1289. >They have to exist, right? The words that will help make this right. That will stop Diamond from doing something terrible to herself.
  1290. >But you can't find them.
  1291. >You leave the office in a daze.
  1292.  
  1293. >"And... yeah. That's everything."
  1294. >You fiddle with your empty coffee cup.
  1295. >The whole situation feels silly to you, but you didn't know where else to turn.
  1296. >When you left Diamond behind, you don't think you've ever felt that lost and confused in your life.
  1297. >You started to drive home, but something made you change direction.
  1298. >You started to regret it immediately after knocking, but Matilda was super nice and welcoming, despite the late hour.
  1299. >Cranky looked better than you've ever seen him. You'd even describe him as cheerful. Retirement must be suiting him well.
  1300. >He offered you some coffee, and you were surprised to see that he didn't add any booze to his mug.
  1301. >You started to talk, and it felt like you rambled for hours.
  1302. >So now the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table over coffee, having one of those man-to-man conversations that you've been missing for too long.
  1303. >As Cranky gives you a refill, he sighs deeply.
  1304. >"Well, shit. Kid, that's a fine mess of things you're in. And I guess I have a bit of blame to share, huh?"
  1305. "Well, it would've been nice if you didn't hire a psychopath, I guess."
  1306. >"Live and learn."
  1307. "So, I don't suppose you have any sage advice for me?"
  1308. >"Hell no. This is way out of my league. All I can say for sure is that you need something else."
  1309. >He leans back and folds his arms in thought.
  1310. >"All your hard evidence so far is circumstantial. It will hopefully be enough for the cops to start an investigation, but it won't get rid of Lightning, not immediately. She'll have more than enough time to ruin young Diamond's life before she ever sees a courtroom."
  1311. "...Yeah."
  1312. >You were afraid of that."
  1313. >"What you need is direct evidence. Something that's real leverage over Lightning. And I have to say, right now it looks like you're still missing a few critical pieces of the puzzle."
  1314. "How so?"
  1315. >"Well, let's take a closer look at Ms. Dust's plan. She sits and waits for Derpy to have one of her little stumbles, offers to clean up, but then secretly swipes everything that can be resold to one of our competitors, and chalks it all up as Derpy's collateral. That about right?"
  1316. "Pretty much, yeah. And if there's nobody looking too closely, she'll cause an accident and blame it on Derpy."
  1317. >"And there's the rub. I've given Derpy a hard time in the past, and she's always taken full responsibility."
  1318. >You scratch your head.
  1319. "You're wondering why. Why is she taking the fall for accidents that she didn't cause?"
  1320. >"It's a pretty big fly in the ointment. You're Lightning. You've sold off some inventory and logged an incident report saying 'Derpy did it'. How do you make sure that Derpy doesn't deny it ever happened whenever someone brings it up?"
  1321. >You slowly exhale through your nose.
  1322. >This isn't what you thought you'd be discussing.
  1323. >But maybe it's what you need.
  1324. >Focus on problems that you can solve, worry about the ugly tangle of emotions later.
  1325. "Well, you'd have to rely on her shitty memory. She causes so many problems, I guess it's not out of the question she'd forget about a few."
  1326. >"Still a big risk. Have you ever known Derpy to have a bad memory?"
  1327. "Honestly, no. She's good at taking care of Dinky. Whenever I talked to her about life outside work, she's always seemed to have her act together. But when it's about her accidents, her answers are always vague and confusing."
  1328. >Cranky folds his hands in thought.
  1329. >"Have you considered that Lightning might be affecting her memory?"
  1330. "What, like drugging her?"
  1331. >He shrugs.
  1332. >"It's not out of the question. And it would solve both of Lightning's problems. How to make sure Derpy keeps having her little accidents, and how to make sure she doesn't remember the details."
  1333. >You rub your head.
  1334. "Sounds a little far-fetched. And even if that's true, how does it help me? I'm not about to break into Lightning's home and look for drugs. And anything that Derpy was slipped would probably be out of her system by now."
  1335. >Cranky shrugs.
  1336. >"No idea. I'm just trying to fill in the blanks that I see."
  1337. >He stands up.
  1338. >"Right now, it sounds like young Diamond needs a chance to cool off. Try catching her tomorrow morning, before she gets to the cops. Make her see reason. Maybe you can catch Lightning in the act."
  1339. "Yeah, right. She's too smart, and she knows we're on to her."
  1340. >"Then you gotta play it even smarter."
  1341. >He rinses his mug.
  1342. >"I think it's past my bedtime, but I'll chat with you some more in the morning if you think it'll help. Want any muffins? Matilda's one hell of a baker, you know."
  1343. >You stand up and prepare to leave.
  1344. "Nah, I should be going. I don't really know why I came here, to be honest. I just-"
  1345. >...
  1346. >You've dreamed of having a moment like this.
  1347. >You can feel your brain buzz with energy as everything suddenly clicks into place.
  1348. >For a brief second, you have a 10000 IQ and all the world's mysteries are revealed.
  1349. >It's just like in the movies.
  1350. >You only wish you didn't look like such an idiot as it happens.
  1351. >Your eyes bulge, your jaw drops, and you have to grasp the table to stop yourself from falling.
  1352. "Holy FUCK!"
  1353. >"Kid? You-"
  1354. "I GOTTA GO THANKS SO MUCH!"
  1355. >You stumble out of the kitchen and rush out of Cranky's house.
  1356. >You barely have the presence of mind to buckle your seatbelt before you slam the gas and head off, straight back to the store that you just left.
  1357.  
  1358. >As you pull back into the lot, you spot Diamond's car still sitting on the other side, and a small silhouette moving towards it.
  1359. >The moment you turn the engine off you tumble out of the car and start running toward her.
  1360. "DIAMOND!"
  1361. >You shout while waving your arms wildly.
  1362. "DERPY'S MUFFINS!"
  1363. >OK, maybe you're having a little bit too much fun with this.
  1364. >"What the fuck?"
  1365. >You can make out Diamond's confused expression now that you've jogged a bit closer.
  1366. "I figured it out! Zephyr was telling the truth! Come on, come inside!"
  1367. >Grasping her wrist, you gently tug her back to the store.
  1368. >"Anon, what the fuck are you talking about?"
  1369. >Diamond starts to question you as you fumble with your key.
  1370. "Lightning's been drugging Derpy!"
  1371. >"WHAT? That's insane!"
  1372. "Insane and brilliant!"
  1373. >You unlock the door and pull Diamond inside.
  1374. "I guess she couldn't keep waiting for Derpy to have an accident, so she started making her have them. No idea what she used, something she has a prescription for probably? But it was just a little bit, enough to give her a little buzz, make her forget that she's not supposed to touch glassware, make her a little more likely to lose her balance."
  1375. >You enter the break room and rush to the fridge.
  1376. "It probably messed with her memory too! Made it more likely that she would just accept the fact that she didn't have any memory of causing the accidents that Lightning faked!"
  1377. >Throwing the doors open, you start rummaging through the few refrigerated and frozen foodstuffs kept there.
  1378. >Nothing.
  1379. >"Hold on, how do you know that's not just... Derpy being Derpy?"
  1380. >You pull out your phone and toss it to Diamond.
  1381. "Look at the dates! The dates that stuff went missing!"
  1382. >You're grateful that you've been taking pictures of all relevant documents.
  1383. >The calendar is already up on your phone.
  1384. "Almost every single day there was a problem was a day when we had some minor celebration at work, and had muffins or something! That's how Lightning did it! She messed with the food!"
  1385. >Leaving the break room, you rush to the next likely spot: the walk-in freezer at the rear of the store.
  1386. >"Hold on, Anon... That doesn't make sense. If Lightning was drugging our food, then we'd have noticed. Someone would have gotten sick, not just Derpy!"
  1387. >You wheel around, waving your arms in excitement again.
  1388. "That's why it's brilliant! Think about it, whenever there are snacks out, who's eating them?"
  1389. >Diamond furrows her brow.
  1390. >"Usually... Derpy, Zephyr... and Sandbar?"
  1391. >Understanding lights her eyes.
  1392. >"No way..."
  1393. "Way! It did affect them! But we never noticed, because those two are always getting high! They must have a higher tolerance, right? So it would hit them differently. The day that Derpy knocked the shelf over, I could tell Zephyr was high as fuck, but he swore he didn't take anything! He was actually telling the truth! Lightning brought in cupcakes that morning, and both he and Derpy scarfed them down!"
  1394. >You enter the freezer and resume your search.
  1395. >It's much more crowded in here. You shove your hands in your sleeves to avoid frostbite.
  1396. >"That... OK, maybe that makes sense. But, we still can't prove it, can we?"
  1397. "Those two ALWAYS save some food for when they get the munchies! I've caught them doing it before, they stash it... somewhere..."
  1398. >Just as you start to despair, you spot something in the corner of your eye, buried at the bottom of a pile.
  1399. >One firm tug, and you pull out a red tupperware container.
  1400. >There's a post-it note on the top that reads: 'PROPERTY OF ZEPHYR BREEZE ~ DO NOT TOUCH ~ THAT MEANS YOU SANDBAR!'
  1401. >And on the inside, you recognize the distinctive frosting of the cupcakes that Lightning brought in the day Derpy had her big accident.
  1402. "Bingo."
  1403. >And that's when you hear the familiar sound of a motorcycle engine.
  1404. >You share a panicked look with Diamond.
  1405. >"That's Lightning..."
  1406. "Guess she had the same idea."
  1407. >You hand the container to Diamond.
  1408. >Taking a random unidentifiable package from the freezer, you shove it into a nearby shopping bag.
  1409. "Go out the front, I'll stall her."
  1410. >"Hold on, that doesn't seem-"
  1411. >"HELLOOOOOOO? Anon? Shining? I saw your cars, I know you guys are here!"
  1412. >Lightning's voice echoes through the store.
  1413. >You give Diamond a quick shove.
  1414. "No time. Get going. Now."
  1415. >Holding the bag, you walk towards the rear exit, and immediately see Lightning about to enter Diamond's office.
  1416. >"Oh, hey Anon, there you are!"
  1417. >She smiles when she spots you, but unlike before it doesn't reach her eyes.
  1418. >"Hey dude, it's pretty late for you to be here."
  1419. "You're one to talk."
  1420. >"Yeah... thing is, I just suddenly got this awful feeling that I left something behind last time I was here. You wouldn't happen to know where it is, would ya?"
  1421. "I think I might, actually."
  1422. >"Oh, that's great. That's really awesome, Anon! You just keep on blowing me away with all the detective shit, man!"
  1423. >The smile fades, and Lightning stares at you with cold, dead eyes.
  1424. >"Alright. Thanks for the help. Hand it over, buddy."
  1425. >Her voice maintains a forced cheer despite the tension in the room.
  1426. "I don't have it."
  1427. >You allow your grip on the bag to shift nervously.
  1428. >You don't hear anyone else in the store. Hopefully Diamond's already gone.
  1429. >Lightning reaches into her jacket.
  1430. >"C'mon, Anon! Do your friend a solid, yeah?"
  1431. >There's a menacing click, and Lightning is now holding-
  1432. "A switchblade? Really? You get that from a museum?"
  1433. >"Huh? What are you talking about, Anon?"
  1434. >She speaks in an exaggerated, unnatural way.
  1435. "Oh, I get it. You think I'm wearing a wire? Yeah, the FBI is parked outside, you must've missed the white van."
  1436. >"Stop messing around, Anonymous."
  1437. "Says the girl waving a fucking switchblade around like she's auditioning for West Side Story."
  1438. >You know you should just turn tail and run.
  1439. >Throw the bag and just get the fuck out.
  1440. >That was basically your plan anyway.
  1441. >But fuck it.
  1442. >You're beyond tired of all this shit.
  1443. "So if I don't hand you this bag, you're gonna, what? Slit my throat?"
  1444. >The 'Quote from man stabbed' meme flashes through your mind.
  1445. >"I don't know what you're talking about, buddy."
  1446. "Lightning, you're retarded. There are probably a dozen witnesses that heard your fucking bike. If you use that thing, blood is going to get everywhere. What's your plan exactly? Hope the cops don't notice the bleach marks on your jacket?"
  1447. >"Last chance."
  1448. >This is a bad idea.
  1449. >But Lightning is looking really uncertain right now.
  1450. "You know all the evidence and shit is backed up on my phone, which gets uploaded to some cloud shit, right? Even if you set this whole place ablaze the cops will find it. I think I even named a file lightning_evidence.txt, I basically did their job for them."
  1451. >"Anon, just shut the fuck up and-"
  1452. "Newsflash: you're a criminal. You've been caught. That's not going to change. The only choice you have right now is whether you want to be one of those intelligent criminals who lawyers up, pleads guilty, and gets out in six months, or if you're going to be one of those dumbfucks on TV who gives themselves a fucking murder charge by virtue of their own braindead stupidity in trying to cover up a far less serious crime."
  1453. >She starts to lower the knife, eyes full of doubt.
  1454. >You've got her.
  1455. >"Wait!"
  1456. >Fuck.
  1457. >Diamond runs up behind you.
  1458. >"Here, take it!"
  1459. >FUCK.
  1460. >Before you can say anything, Diamond has tossed the container to Lightning.
  1461. >She pops the lid off, and you can see that it's still filled with the same cupcakes.
  1462. >"You've got what you want. Now, you're going to leave. And you're not going to come back."
  1463. >She awkwardly smooths down her suit.
  1464. >"You're very, very lucky, and you're not going to do anything to spoil that. You're going to forget about that video, and we'll never see you again. That's what's best for everyone."
  1465. >Lightning studies the contents of the container before speaking distractedly.
  1466. >"It's too bad, I had a pretty good thing going here. But I guess it's all gotta come to an end sometime.
  1467. >Pocketing the blade, her cocky smile returns.
  1468. >"Pleasure doing business with you both."
  1469. >She backs up without taking her eyes off the two of you, and walks out the exit.
  1470. >It's only when the roar of her bike fades that you let out a tense breath and let the remnants of fear flow through you.
  1471. >Glancing to Diamond, you see her doing the same.
  1472. "I had it, you know. I was getting her to leave."
  1473. >"Maybe. I wasn't going to take that chance."
  1474. "I knew what I was doing. Now she has the only evidence, and we can't-"
  1475. >A smug smile on Diamond's face silences you.
  1476. >"I did a little searching of my own while you were playing hero."
  1477. >Reaching into her suit pocket, she pulls out a single cupcake covered in layers of shrinkwrap.
  1478. >A note is attached, reading: 'SANDBAR'S SNACK ~ ZEPHYR IF YOU EAT THIS I WILL END YOU!'
  1479. "Holy shit. Diamond, you're an absolute-"
  1480. >You're instantly silenced by a powerful smack to your cheek.
  1481. >"And that's for nearly getting yourself killed, you ASSHOLE! We could have just left together!"
  1482. "I had to make sure you'd be alright!"
  1483. >"I wouldn't be alright if you got STABBED, moron!"
  1484. >You sigh.
  1485. "You know, you've got a point."
  1486. >And that's when you slap Diamond Tiara in the face.
  1487. >"OW! What the FUCK, ANON?"
  1488. "THAT is for coming back here to get stabbed alongside me instead of leaving!"
  1489. >"She wouldn't have stabbed you after I gave her the evidence!"
  1490. "Oh, so now who's taking chances with the mind of a psychopath?"
  1491. >The two of you glare at each other, when a distant creak in the building makes you both jump.
  1492. "OK, let's get out of here first, argue later."
  1493. >"Yeah."
  1494. >You walk out into the cool night air and head for your car.
  1495. >Diamond follows closely at your side.
  1496. "Uh, you know you're parked over-"
  1497. >"I know. I... don't want to be alone right now."
  1498. >You reach your arm over to pull her into a hug.
  1499. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen."
  1500. >She snuggles in.
  1501. >"I know."
  1502. >Reaching your car, you move around to open the passenger door for her.
  1503. >Hey, she's a rich lady. Gotta do all that chivalrous shit.
  1504. >As you settle into the driver's seat, you ask something that's been on your mind for a while.
  1505. >"So where DO you live, anyway? I never saw-"
  1506. >You're interrupted again, this time by the sensation of warm, soft, wet lips touching your own.
  1507. >It's a simple kiss, but you can feel the deep emotion behind it.
  1508. >You push your own lips forward, ever so softly, trying to share your own feelings.
  1509. >Your hand moves without thinking to caress her cheek, and you run your fingers through her short hair.
  1510. >Everything about her is so soft.
  1511. >The two of you break away slowly.
  1512. >She's wearing a gentle smile, but as you look into her eyes, it starts to crumble, breaking away into girlish giggles.
  1513. "What's so funny?"
  1514. >"N-Nothing. Just... you. K-Kissing you."
  1515. "OK...?"
  1516. >"It's just.. you make me feel safe. It's weird, I don't know. Like, normally when I do this I'm worried about my dress, how much cleavage I'm showing, is my makeup getting smudged, does he secretly think I'm a bitch... and now, I don't have to worry about any of that. You've already seen me be such a spaz. And... worse. My skin is SO awful right now, I probably smell dreadful. Oh, and I was screaming at you earlier while having a total fucking breakdown. And you still want to kiss me."
  1517. >She laughs some more, wiping tears from her eyes.
  1518. >"You're really weird, you know?"
  1519. "Says the crossdresser."
  1520. >She clings to your arm as the laughter overwhelms her.
  1521. "But you know, I see one big upside to your outfit right now."
  1522. >"What's that?"
  1523. >You grab her tie.
  1524. >Lifting it up, you can effortlessly pull her closer to you, and even tilt her head up.
  1525. >Her eyes go wide and she gulps nervously as you stare down at her with your best expression of carnal intent.
  1526. >"I-I see."
  1527. >You kiss her.
  1528. >You taste her.
  1529. >You can't really describe what she tastes like, you just know you want more.
  1530. >You take revenge on the bratty little mouth that's been nagging at you for so long by showering it with love and affection.
  1531. >You feel more weight tugging at her tie as she relaxes.
  1532. >You grip it like a leash, and she fully accepts the control you wield.
  1533. >You break for air, and take the chance to explore more of her.
  1534. >All of her is soft and sweet.
  1535. >Her cheeks, her neck, her ears, her hair.
  1536. >You love all of it.
  1537. >After you've tasted enough, you pull back.
  1538. >Pulling on her tie, you settle her back into a sitting position.
  1539. >You smile as your eyes feast on her flushed expression and dopey grin.
  1540. >"M-More?"
  1541. "Home first. More later."
  1542. >"...Deal."
  1543.  
  1544. >"Mr. Rich will see you now."
  1545. >You get up, adjust your suit, and walk toward the intimidating office door.
  1546. >It's been a while.
  1547. >Ever since that night, your life has been pretty awesome.
  1548. >Going to the cops was terrifying, but you at least got them to test the damn cupcake.
  1549. >Lightning got arrested, and lawyered up. You were worried about the video, but the police made it clear that they'd throw on a witness intimidation charge if anything happened.
  1550. >Every so often, you will get a call asking you to give more detail on a specific incident, but otherwise the whole thing is entirely out of your hands.
  1551. >Work is great. Turns out that without the poisonings and theft, you're actually able to make some decent money.
  1552. >Derpy was hired back immediately. Limestone still has some anger management shit to finish up, but surprisingly Diamond's eager to have her back once she's done.
  1553. >...Diamond's eager about a whole lot of things now.
  1554. >Mainly involving the time when the two of you are off work.
  1555. >Maybe that's why she's willing to have Limestone back? Make it easier for both of you to have time off?
  1556. >Since nobody's called you a fag, you're pretty sure nobody else at the store has noticed your relationship, despite how daring the two of you have been.
  1557. >After all, it's not like she's leaving lipstick marks, so why not steal a few kisses when you visit her office?
  1558. >One day you noticed her tie was a little crooked, so you adjusted it for her in front of everyone.
  1559. >She couldn't stop blushing as you tugged and pulled on what had become such a staple of your late-night activities.
  1560. >She's really turned you into a degenerate in that regard. You don't think you can ever date a tie-less girl again.
  1561. >Or a girl that doesn't need you to unwrap her chest bindings every night and massage her aching, sweaty-
  1562. >OK, stop.
  1563. >You're meeting her father now, fucking chill.
  1564. >You'd never forgive yourself if you let down Diamond today.
  1565. >One of the most important days of her life.
  1566. >The test is over.
  1567. >Every store employee has been given the day off with a sizable bonus so that they could come here today and report on Shining Diamond's performance.
  1568. >Everyone else has already been in and out of those doors before you.
  1569. >You saw Sandbar leave looking absolutely gobsmacked, and you've got a pretty good idea why.
  1570. >You were at Diamond's place last night, and this morning you got to saw her change into her 'normal' clothes and apply makeup for the first time in months.
  1571. >It was pretty hot.
  1572. >You're still going to slip a tie on her later tonight though.
  1573. >Shaking your head to get rid of those admittedly awesome thoughts, you enter a small meeting room with a square table.
  1574. >There's an empty chair right in front of you. On your left is Mr. Filthy Rich. On your right, Ms. Diamond Tiara, unmistakably his daughter. Opposite your seat, there's an accountant-looking guy shuffling through a stack of papers.
  1575. >"Come in, Anon! Please, have a seat!"
  1576. >Filthy Rich calls to you while distractedly scribbling something on a notepad.
  1577. >You give Diamond a glance before sitting. She returns a nervous smile.
  1578. >The two of you have talked about this day a lot.
  1579. >About how you wanted it to go down.
  1580. >Well, Diamond talked about what she wanted, and you mostly just anxiously fretted, making sure that it was what she really wanted.
  1581. >But she's gotten a lot more confident since that night.
  1582. >Reconnecting with Silver Spoon helped.
  1583. >You held her hand and helped her say all the things she needed to say.
  1584. >They're still not back to being best friends, but it's getting there.
  1585. >That memory gives you courage to face this problem head-on.
  1586. >And so you turn to face Mr. Rich.
  1587. >"Well Mr. Anonymous, I think your written report says it all! You've clearly got a high opinion of my little Diamond's capabilities. I would say it's exaggerated, if not for the fact that every other testimonial backs it up. There's just one little issue on my mind, and that's the fact that you haven't reacted at all to seeing my daughter Diamond Tiara. Almost like you knew the whole time."
  1588. >He gives you a friendly smile.
  1589. >"What do you have to say about that, son?"
  1590. >Show time.
  1591. >You look him right in the eye and keep your face neutral as you respond.
  1592. "I'm extremely shocked to learn that Shining is a woman, sir. I had no knowledge of that until this very moment."
  1593. >Filthy's smile vanishes.
  1594. >"Why?"
  1595. "Sir?"
  1596. >"Are you trying to make an enemy of me, son?"
  1597. "No, sir."
  1598. >"Father, let me-"
  1599. >"No, Diamond, I want to hear it from him."
  1600. >He shoots a look of annoyance at his daughter.
  1601. >"You've done a hell of a job here Diamond, truly. And I'm more than willing to overlook a few... slip-ups considering that fact."
  1602. >The accountant dude leans over to frantically whisper in Mr. Rich's ear, but he's immediately waved off.
  1603. >"Yes, yes! I know what the damn thing says, I wrote it! I'm saying that I understand your position, and I can forgive you lying to me. I'm used to it by now. I expect it. What I don't understand is why you're not even trying to lie convincingly."
  1604. >He faces you again.
  1605. >"So why? Why would you not even extend the courtesy of pretending to be surprised? Unless you're deliberately trying to antagonize me?"
  1606. >You take a deep breath.
  1607. "I want to be as honest with you as possible, sir."
  1608. >Filthy shakes his head.
  1609. >"Alright, fine. Give me the damn thing."
  1610. >He snatches a sheet of paper from the other guy and scribbles a signature on it.
  1611. >"There, it's over. Set in stone. You did a good job, Diamond. You've gotten what you wanted. Now can we all talk freely? Because I don't think you understand at all what I was trying to teach you with all of this."
  1612. >"Father-"
  1613. >"This wasn't just about having to be a man in a man's world. It was supposed to be about learning how to conduct yourself with honour and dignity."
  1614. >"I know! That's why I asked Anon not to act surprised! Because we didn't want to deceive you!"
  1615. >"You still lied in order to take my money."
  1616. "Diamond earned it."
  1617. >He looks to you in shock.
  1618. >You just shrug.
  1619. "She did. She worked hard and deserved to win. I'm sorry for lying, but it would have been a greater injustice to let her fail."
  1620. >He narrows his eyes.
  1621. >"I don't know what you think you are to her, but this is family business. Understand? You've given her what she wanted, so don't expect whatever deal you've concocted to go beyond that."
  1622. >"...And that's exactly why I asked him to lie."
  1623. >Diamond's voice has a sharp edge of anger to it as she stares down her father.
  1624. >"You always see me as something I'm not! If I had told you the truth, I know what you would have thought! You wouldn't have said it was just a 'slip-up'! You always insist on seeing the worst in me. And I know I've given you plenty of reason for it. I know I've abused my status and privileges. But you're not going to teach me anything by making me live a lie! I haven't had the same hardships as you, but I've had my own share of problems that you can't imagine! I don't want to lie to you, but I'm not going to admit to being something that I'm not! That's why I had to win!"
  1625. >She pulls out a small stack of paper.
  1626. >"But I'm not going to force you to give me your money, Father. I want to make a new deal."
  1627. >She extends the contract that you helped her write. It's immediately snatched up by the silent accountant/lawyer guy, who starts studying it intently.
  1628. >"I'll give up everything I just earned in exchange for ownership of a certain small business. A very generous deal, and I hope you take it."
  1629. >Filthy Rich folds his arms and stares at his daughter for a long moment.
  1630. >"Why?"
  1631. >"Because I don't want to live in your shadow. I don't want you to see a spoiled child when you look at me. I want you to meet me when I'm able to stand on my own two feet, without a disguise. Then, after you've gotten the chance to know the real me, I hope you'll be proud to consider me your daughter again. But that's going to be your choice. I'm hoping for your approval, but I'm done begging for it."
  1632. >The other guy finishes scanning the document and gives Filthy Rich a nod of confirmation.
  1633. >After a thoughtful pause, Filthy turns to you again.
  1634. >"And what's your part in all of this? Because you should know, I WILL find out the truth one way or another. And if any part of it involves you profiting from my daughter's rash decisions, I WILL hold you culpable."
  1635. >You draw a deep breath before speaking.
  1636. "I did encourage Diamond to lie to you in order to pass your test. I did not encourage her to make this new deal with you, in fact I cautioned her against it. I can't deny that I have... profited from this, but not in the way you might suspect. I consider myself lucky to be Diamond's friend. Before I met her, I thought I was happy. I thought I was ready to step into a role of leadership. That would have certainly ended in disaster. The truth was that I was blind. Not just to the true intentions of someone I was wrong to consider a friend, but to the reality of how things were falling apart around me. Diamond opened my eyes to that. She led me on a better path, and I'll be eternally grateful to her for it. I know it's not my place to interfere, but I hope you get to know her better, because she's the best person that I've ever known."
  1637. >Filthy narrows his eyes in deep thought once more.
  1638. >"You'll forgive me, Diamond, if I don't continue to expect you to show up crying at our doorstep, begging us to take you back."
  1639. >"Wait as long as you like. Just please don't wait forever."
  1640. >Diamond's voice is tinged with affection.
  1641. >Filthy Rich signs the second document, and you can't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
  1642. >"Now, I've got a lot of business to deal with today. Lots of people all eager to take their turn lying to my face. So I'll have to ask you to leave."
  1643. >Diamond stands and exchanges a formal handshake with her father.
  1644. >You do the same, but he leans in to whisper a final message.
  1645. >"Be good to her."
  1646. >You don't know if it's a request or a threat, but you nod sagely all the same.
  1647. >And with that, the two of you are out of the lion's den, strolling across the lot to that eyesore she calls a car.
  1648. >"Free at last."
  1649. >Diamond spreads her arms open, a wide smile on her face.
  1650. >You let your gaze drift to her chest.
  1651. "Yeah... they're free at last..."
  1652. >She smacks you.
  1653. >But she also blushes, so it was worth it.
  1654. >"Asshole. Is that how you show your 'eternal gratitude'?"
  1655. "Oh, you know exactly how I like to show them some eternal gratitude..."
  1656. >She smacks you again.
  1657. >"So when you said I'm the greatest person you know, you were just talking about my tits?"
  1658. "Yup, I was always in love with your body. Shame you turned out to be a girl."
  1659. >"I tricked you real good, huh?"
  1660. >She curls her arm around yours and nuzzles close.
  1661. "Are you... OK? About how it all went down in there?"
  1662. >You feel her nod against you.
  1663. >"He'll come around soon. So will Mom."
  1664. "I just... you know, some of what he said still makes me feel a little guilty, like I'm taking advantage of you-"
  1665. >She grabs your tie for a change, and pulls you in for a soothing kiss.
  1666. >A blush spreads over your face.
  1667. >So this is how it feels.
  1668. >It's going to be very interesting to sort out who will be wearing the literal and metaphorical pants in this relationship, but you suspect you'll be happy with any arrangement.
  1669. >"You're my favourite person too, you know."
  1670. >She gives you that special, warm smile that makes your heart melt.
  1671. >"Now come on."
  1672. >She tugs on your arm.
  1673. >"We can finally go on a real date! Oh, we can go watch that Sapphire Shores musical! But first I'll have to buy new girl clothes, I have literally NOTHING to wear right now, and it's been SO LONG since I got something from Rarity's, OOH I don't think you've met Sweetie Belle yet, we started talking again after like forever and she's super nice, and on the way we should stop by this super cute smoothie place..."
  1674. >...
  1675. "Yeah, I definitely liked you better when you were a boy."
  1676.  
  1677. FIN

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