-
>be anon on the 1st of the month
-
>rent went up by $200 again
-
>'reason: fuck you.'
-
>sure havent seen your paycheck go up $200
-
>time to get a roommate
-
>you post your ad to FB marketplace and within the hour you get flooded with responses
-
>her name's Rachel Davis, and she has rainbow dash's qtm as her profile
-
>shes one of 3 to not say 'Hi, is this available?' which that alone caught your attention
-
>living with a fellow mare enjoyer would be cool
-
>she wrote a nice paragraph, good english and punctuation, something was off about her story though
-
>ill let you be the judge:
-
>"Hello. My name is Rachel Davish (teh fastist flyer in eqestria!!!1111 XD). My friends and I ended up in [your city] recently from a far away place and are in need of a place to live. There was a big ole' storm and we had to run away from the government as they tried to hunt us down, but we have a clean criminal record and wouldn't hurt a fly. All of us have lived on our own and I at least take exquisite care of my residence. We don't even need to see the place, tell us how much the rent is and we'll move in, if that's ok with you. We don't even have that much stuff."
-
-
Best regards,
-
-Tiffany Sanders"
-
>ok that was more of a rollercoaster than you expected
-
>lets shelf that one for now
-
>"$900" comes at the top of your phone
-
>"1400 is lowest I can go." you text back
-
>"$800 and ill pay cash every month"
-
>"Fuck off you cheap nigger" you text and end the chat
-
>why do these jews always have to haggle?
-
>that no-look move in is tempting, but so many questions
-
>that are about be asked in your response
-
>"Rent is $1400 a month, Im trying to split it. May I ask how many people are you and your friends? My apartment is only a 2/2 so anything more than 2 would be a tight squeeze. Also, am I speaking with Rachel or Tiffany?"
-
>three dots pop up
-
>"We are 6, but that doesn't matter because everypony is small. I promise we won't take up that much space. What is your zelle?"
-
>SIX!?!?
-
>and really leaning into the pony pfp like its 2011
-
>and size doesnt matter when its 6 women and 1 dude living in a small space
-
>but shes serious about paying right now
-
>you weigh the options
-
>continue your marlboro reds and alice in chains single dude life
-
>or take on six roommates and turn your house into the brony brothel
-
>you leave that message on read for a minute
-
>smoke on it, sleep on it, hit the gym on it
-
>fuck it.
-
-
>2 days later while bored at work, you send you number over FB messenger
-
>Rachel's icon turns grey and the filled in check mark sinks below
-
>60 seconds go by, and no response
-
>this is where she ghosts you isnt it
-
>you put your phone down and work for a bit, annoyed at the absolute state of humanity
-
>until you feel a long buzz
-
>and you cant believe the text
-
>"Zelle: Twilight Sparkle sent you $1,500.00"
-
>*holy shit*
-
>if rachel was a hardcore pegasister, her friend Tiffany's even moreso
-
>youre still in disbelief as two more notifs come in rapid fire from facebook
-
>"What's your address?"
-
>"We can be there in an hour."
-
>***holy shit.***
-
>fuck, its only noon
-
>gotta keep it professional though
-
>"Ok, thanks for paying. My address is [your address] but dont come now. I get out of work at 6:30-7, Ill let you know when Ill be home"
-
>gotta buy some time to make 6 copies of your door key
-
>"Okay!"
-
>crazy how fast your life can turn around
-
-
>7:38 is when you check the clock after touching down at the bachelor pad
-
>2 fucking dumbasses got in a pileup and shut down three lanes of the highway
-
>but you got 6 keys made and confirmed they all work
-
>you take a deep breath, sprawled on the couch
-
>and open FB messenger
-
>"Hey, just got home. I have 6 keys for you all. You coming?"
-
>throw ur phone down and turn on the TV
-
>theres a buzz as you tap into sportsurge
-
>click through the 5 different jerkmate ads...
-
>fuck. panthers are down 1-3 to the ducks
-
>how the-oh. bobrovskys not in net. checks out
-
>pick up phone
-
>"Yeah! Well be there in 30 minutes."
-
>hit her with a thumbs up
-
>this is actually happening
-
>suddenly your condo looks a lot more dirty
-
>dusty table you dont even use...
-
>blanket and pillow compressed into one side of the couch
-
>your grand total of 7 dishes in the sink
-
>plate, big ass spoon, blender, water cup, cereal bowl, all purpose skillet and pasta pot
-
>could stand to clean up a bit
-
>dont get too flustered tho, end of the day theyre paying you to live here
-
>8:10, as you dry off your pan, you hear a racket coming up the stairs
-
>theyre not footsteps though
-
>its... clopping
-
>hooves on concrete
-
>and a lot of them
-
>what the fuck?
-
>and a chorus of girls voices chattering to each other
-
>you drop your skillet and look out the front window
-
>you can *hear* them go to the front but cant see any of them-holy fuck
-
>you swear you saw a purple horn poking up over the bottom of the sill and bob up and down towards your door
-
>followed by extremely loud clops on your door that reverberate through all of your walls
-
>"IM HERE!" you yell out as professionally as you can
-
>you put your ear to the door
-
>theres at least 5 voices giggling and laughing to each other
-
>like rick harrison says, you never know whats gonna come through that door
-
>and your lifes about to change forever
-
>deep breaths now
-
>turn the knob
-
>open the door
-
>get on the floor
-
>everybody walk the dinosaur
-
-
>just kidding
-
>you swore this shit only happens on fimfiction
-
>and you havent even read one since high school
-
>but now you have the mane 6 staring up at you with their big ole' eyes
-
>5 seconds go by until you realize twilight intoduced herself
-
>even though you know exactly who they are
-
>"oh... yes. im anon, youre at the right place."
-
>you shake her hoof
-
>its so soft...
-
>pinkie giggles
-
>"come on in"
-
>you step aside
-
>the 6 mares worm their way in
-
>raritys flank brushes the fronts of your legs
-
>dontgetabonerdontgetabonerdontgetaboner
-
>twilight turns around to address you again
-
>"Oh! I shouldve introduced my friends
-
>"im Rainbow Dash! fastest flyer in equestria!"
-
>"dashie he doesnt know what that is!"
-
>you stifle a laugh with all your jedi training
-
>"ah'm applejack, thanks for lettin' us live here!"
-
>you shake her hoof
-
>soft fur, but tough as nails underneath
-
>"IM PINKIE PIE!"
-
>now theres 3 balloons and a few streamers on your floor
-
>"I'm Rarity~"
-
>where did, oh there she is, on the wall
-
>"what's your name?"
-
>as if you didnt know
-
>"im fluttershy..."
-
>"can i call you flooter?"
-
>she giggles and nods slowly with her whole head and neck
-
>god shes so fucking cute
-
>the restless ponies are already curiously poking around at your furniture
-
>"so uhh,yeah. you saw the pictures i mean, thats the 2nd bathroom, thats my office with a spare bed. this is living room, kitchens down the hall, my rooms up there the door on the left, ive got a home gym in the other one you can use it if you want and... yeah, make yourselves at home"
-
>twilight and flooter were the only ones listening
-
>"we cant thank you enough mister anon"
-
>only your boss calls you that
-
>"were gonna take some time to get situated and bring our stuff in, do you wanna get a bite with us after?"
-
>its been a long fucking day
-
>"eh its kinda late and its only wednesday. maybe tomorrow?"
-
>"that's ok!"
-
>fuck, you just remembered you cant
-
>"so how much stuff do you... ponies... have?"
-
>cant let on how much you know
-
>you follow twilight back into the hallway
-
>and see a mountain of suitcases and beauty stuff piling up to the ceiling
-
>"dont worry, 80% of that stuff is Rarity's"
-
>like a bird on your shoulder, rainbow dash remarks from right beside you
-
>she hasnt touched the ground once
-
>"i shoulda guessed."
-
-
>the next morning you were woken up by a clop on your bedroom door
-
>at 5:30 in the morning
-
>after a long night of chattering and rearranging with the lights on
-
>you open it up and theres applejack, hat on and all
-
>"mornin' anon, uhh, i saw you had some eggs and bell peppers, can i make some breakfast?"
-
>this is gonna be a slippery slope
-
>"sure" you grunt out
-
>but stop yourself from slamming the door in her face
-
>"thanks! ill leave you some"
-
>she winks and turns back around to start cooking
-
>you peek over at the living room
-
>rainbow and flooter are curled up on opposite ends of the couch
-
>raritys sprawled out luxuriously on her fainting couch, diagonal in the center of the room amongst vanitys and other nicknack pieces of furniture
-
>gonna have to navigate around that in a few hours
-
>you go back to bed with the scent of of eggs and butter coasting into your nostrils
-
-
>iphonealarmtone.wav
-
>god damnit
-
>the three S's are muscle memory at this point
-
>grab the dirty skillet and wash it
-
>slap it on the stove, open the-
-
>oh, theres a plate of food
-
>thanks AJ
-
>shes nowhere to be seen though
-
>mozy out ot the living room so you can be closer to the mares
-
>because whos day isnt brightened by 6 mares
-
>your office door's closed, twilight and pinkie must be in there
-
>rarity and fluttershy are in the exact same position as earlier
-
>and a very done-with-this-shit dash eating a bowl of cereal at your table
-
>"sup, action figure" she drones out
-
>oh yeah, you dont have a shirt on
-
>"sup blue fast, you always loot peoples cereal on the first night?"
-
>"AJ said it was up for grabs"
-
>told you, slippery slope
-
>"whered she go, anyways?"
-
>dash shrugged as she slurped down a spoonful of your corn flakes
-
>"where do *you* go at this time?"
-
>"work. so i can, you know, exist"
-
>dash chuckled
-
>she was starting to wake up and get that spunk in her voice
-
>"ive got some clouds to shuffle around today, showers at 4 youknow?"
-
>"oy vey you just fly in from israel?"
-
>"huh?"
-
>"nevermind"
-
>"and then make a biiiiig awesome rainbow after it!"
-
>she makes a rainbow motion with her hooves
-
>you crack a smile
-
>dash picks up her bowl and starts drinking the rest of it like a true bro
-
>but then starts lapping up the inside of it like a dog
-
>you just wanna stick your arm out and ruffle that rainbow-
-
>'ahhhhhhh'
-
>-and milk covered muzzle
-
>"welp i gotta finish getting ready so if you fly outta here ill seeya tonite"
-
>"alright, seeya around!"
-
>about 15 minutes later you start to exit, as put together as you can get in that time
-
>rarity's gone, the fan's on in the guest bath, and the shower's running
-
>youre not one for irish goodbyes, but wagies gotta get in the cagie
-
>a ray of teal light catches your eye as you reach for the door
-
>the yellow pegasus quickly shutters her eye after tracking you across the hall
-
>"bye fluttershy" you say out, calling her bluff
-
>she grins and stops pretending to sleep
-
>"bye anon..." she quietly says back, starting to unfold and sploot out
-
-
>as dashie brushes her teeth, a staccato thumping starts to vibrate through the walls
-
>"ugh, what is that *racket?*" rarity melodramatically whined from the shower
-
>*pbbt* "better than the last place ill say that" dashie says
-
>and comes out to meet fluttershy eagerly staring out the window
-
>"look rainbow, its anon!"
-
>the thumping revved up and down like an engine backing out of a parking spot
-
>and the two pegasi watched as a black and blaze orange dirtbike banked left and rode off out of the condo complex
-
>"coool, what is that?"
-
>"i dont know, it looks like one of those, uhm, what are they called?
-
>"cah-rrs i think"
-
>"but like half of one, on two wheels"
-
>"that's different though, the ones we always see are like, swoopy, or like those stupid scooter things"
-
>"i think theyre cute..." fluttershy said softly, her sensitive snowpity a bit hurt
-
>rainbow pulled her friend into a sidehug
-
>"sorry flutters, i didnt mean it"
-
>"goooOOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYPONY!!!!"
-
>oh celestia, pinkies awake
-
>"hey pinkster, you got the need?"
-
>"yeah i do, the need..."
-
>"FOR SPEED!" both of them yelled out and brohoofed
-
>somepony watched Top Gun recently
-
-
-
-
>be anon a week later
-
>go out to your bike as is routine
-
>fuel, choke, helmet, gloves, killswitch to center
-
>*dweee*BRRRBRPRPRPRPRPRPR
-
>sit there for about 60 seconds so she warms up, and...
-
>you have a blue visitor hovering behind you
-
>hit the killswitch, work can wait
-
>"whats up dash?"
-
>"nothing..." shes trying brush off the fact she followed you out here just to stare at you
-
>"you want a ride?"
-
>her eyes light up
-
>"yeah!"
-
>aw shit, you just remembered
-
>"ill take you, but i gotta get you a helmet"
-
>"pfft, as if i need one, i can just fly away if we crash"
-
>"youre right, theres only feathers in that head anyway"
-
>marescrunch.png
-
>she walked right into that one
-
>"ill tell you what, lemme run by the bike store tonight and well go for a ride soon, kay?"
-
>"okay!" dash beamed back, and a rainbow trail shot up into the sky
-
>you swing your leg over and restart your thumper
-
>its been a while since you had someone on the back of this thing, but never somepony
-
>or a girl for that matter...
-
-
>roll in about 6 that night, but still the first one home
-
>well, aside from twi and rarity
-
>twi's been in full moondancer mode trying to negotiate with celestia
-
>your attempts to get her to open up are met with cold, administrative amicability
-
>she has a job to do after all, being princess of friendship
-
>raritys been getting slammed with her etsy shop since before she moved in
-
>she sleeps the least out of anypony
-
>AJ went to home depot not 24 hours after moving in and got picked up as a farm hand
-
>according to dash shell be back on weekends as part of the deal is room and board during the week
-
>also through dash is how you know what fluttershys up to
-
>shes been putting in some serious hours at the animal hospital
-
>being able to understand exactly what they want earned her many hats
-
>pinkie, you have no idea
-
>but she comes home every evening with the most gas pastries youve ever had and a saddlebag full of cash so shes doing something right
-
>like right now
-
>"Hi Everypony!"
-
>"Hi Pinkie!"
-
>"'Ello!"
-
>"whatsup ponk"
-
>"hi anon! i brought some guayaba pastries!"
-
>theyre still hot too
-
>you chow one down from the metal tin she offered
-
>"where did you go today?"
-
>"welllllll i went to this one street corner in the city everypony there was like in suits so no one wanted any. but then i went to this OTHER corner on the other side of the river and everypony was like *yelling and gruff* but the second they saw what i was selling it was like we were the bestest of friends!"
-
>you know exactly the area shes talking about
-
>"and then one of them was like '¿porquetomanelcaballonaranjoalsucampo?'" she imitated an old hispanic guys accent
-
>holy shit she knows spanish?
-
>"and then i was like 'THATS APPLEJACK!' so then we went insiiiiide... we got some coffeeee..."
-
>last thing this mare needs is caffeine
-
>"and i went to a few more spots and now im here!"
-
>"well sounds like you had a productive day" you bounce your hand up and down on the top of her poofy mane, earning a few giggles
-
>"whats in the box anon?" she said, stretching her head and neck toward it
-
>"is it one of those hats you wear when you ride your uhh, whats it called?"
-
>you pull the blocks of styrofoam out and pull your prize out of the sheath
-
>rarity gasped in shock
-
>did i mention she was spectating
-
-
>"in case any of you little ponies want to hop on the back you can protect your noggins"
-
>"highlighter yellow!? ugh, and what are those childish letters on the back?"
-
>referring to the cartoony red, blue, and yellow letters of 'THE DOCTOR" on the back
-
>"hey dont disrespect the GOAT"
-
>"well alex barkov at least knows how to color coordinate"
-
>she did 'hmph' and a sassy mane flick to top it off
-
>but you know deep down she would be ecstatic to ride up to the stadium for a hockey game
-
>dashie bursts in, full of bravado
-
>"hiya dashie!" ponk waves
-
>"hey pinks, hey rarity
-
>"'ello dashiekins"
-
>rarity knows dash hates when she calls her that
-
>"you nap too long?" you ask
-
>"naaah i had to push the showers down south, applejacks gonna get soaaked-whats that!?"
-
>"thats the helmet i got, here" you toss her the helmet
-
>"'the... doc...tor? why is it yellow?"
-
>"hes a goat, and they dont like getting disrespected!" ponk loudly whispered
-
>"only the fastest man on 2 wheels." you chime in
-
>"so saturday night. me. you. ride." you do a hang loose between you and dash to lock it down, and cool guy walk away to your room
-
>dash was starstruck, ponk was in awe, and rarity tried to hide her jealousy
-
-
>saturday night
-
>the lights from your inner-city condo make it almost as bright as the daytime
-
>and youre fully suited up, jacket to boots to gloves
-
>pumped for a clear-your-head ride, and for the first time in forever with a companion
-
>who refused to touch the ground between the door and the bike, leaving a few rainbow loop-de-loops in her wake
-
>"alright blue fast, gotta put this on before we leave"
-
>"nah, i dont need it, nothing can rattle my-" dash stopped her protest realizing she was about to walk into another roast
-
>you smirk and stick out the helmet to hand it to her
-
>"oh. before you do..."
-
>she already had it resting on her head when you whip out a small, rounded edge case
-
>that got her attention
-
>and open it to hand her your left airpod
-
>"oooh, is this like a secret spy earpiece?"
-
>"youll see" you say jamming the right one in your ear
-
>youve got the aux cord tonight
-
>and once you buckle your helmet, you see dash struggling to keep the bud in her left ear,
-
>tilting it up like shes trying to drain water out of her eardrum
-
>"hold on a sec, put your helmet on"
-
>she does so, and popping her visor open you jam your hand in and set it so its wedged between the padding and her ear
-
>said mare fidgeting until it got settled in nice and snug
-
>"now..."
-
>you start a phone call
-
>"**can you hear me?**"
-
>dash's eyes widened at the sudden crispness of your voice blasting in her ear
-
>"pretty cool huh? now sit your flank right here"
-
>you scoot forward and pat the back of your seat
-
>"woooow i didnt know you had so much cool stuff!" dash vocalized into your ear
-
>"its like were on a wonderbolt flying mission!" she added on, getting comfy while straddling the rear part of the bike
-
>and once set, wrapping her front hooves around your sternum and compressing her torso against you
-
>sending a wave of blood and electricity coursing toward your dick
-
>god damn has it been that long?
-
>"wow anon, your backs so like, muscle-y" dash's voice echoes in your ear, rubbing her cheek between your shoulder blades
-
>would you like to run throbbingerection.exe? [yes] [yes]
-
>you have been /fit/ since long before your equine friends showed up, nice to get a mire for once
-
>right... the ride
-
>you do your ritual, choke, killswitch center, lights, little red button
-
>*dwee*BRRRRPRPRPRPRPRPR
-
>the old shirtless guy on his porch is staring at you
-
>you move the kickstand back and start waddling backwards
-
>the mare behind you swaying back and forth to keep her balance
-
>and suddenly bearhugging you again once you stop
-
>give it a few revs, then a nice even throttle pull up to about 10 grand
-
>couple blips, and turn around
-
>"you ready dashie?"
-
>your voice cut through the engine noise to her eardrum
-
>she nods, the magenta in her eyes so bright they look ready to explode
-
>pull her visor down, then yours, and off you go
-
-
>all of the world zones out, nothing but the columns of hiphenated white lines stretching and leaning into the next curve
-
>the meaty engine purring between your legs, the vibration carrying through the stiff forks into the handlebars
-
>and in your zen state, the feeing of every molecule in your rubber tires sticking to the asphalt, right on the edge of slipping as you lean through every curve of the highway
-
>as an added bonus, a nice warm, soft body pressed against your back, two bright blue hooves resting on your lap in the bottom of your peripheral vision
-
>its so
-
>right
-
>"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" rainbows raspy cheer pierces your right eardrum
-
>truly a moment of all time
-
>you lean into an off ramp, and duck under a spider web of 5 other ramps
-
>until you crest a hill, and the lit up city skyline emerges next to the highway
-
>with your non-throttle hand you point to your left
-
>silent awe is all you feel when dash turns her head and gazes off to the side
-
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
-
>clutch and foot up...
-
>brrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
-
>dash's grip tightens
-
>and suddenly two new limbs wrap around your abdomen
-
>what the fu- oh. *ohh.*
-
>shes winghugging you
-
>the highway rolls by in slow motion, exits 3 and 2 fly by 30 seconds apart
-
>but amongst your zen, something rings in your ear
-
>whimpering, a long, strained squeak of sorts
-
>you immediately let off the throttle
-
>and milliseconds later dash loosens her grip
-
>her wings returning to her sides
-
>on cue, you bank right off on the ramp for exit 1
-
>and duck into the sunoco gas station right at the corner
-
>you and dash being the only souls at a pump
-
>mainly because its an unspoken rule that this is where the hood starts
-
>you pull her visor up
-
>"you okay dash?"
-
>her eyes all sorts of red and wet
-
>but beneath them, a huge ear to ear grin, giggles leaking out of it
-
>"heheheee, yeah"
-
>"you scared?"
-
>"NO!" she snapped, "ok, a little..."
-
>"having fun?" you ask to the buzzing pegasus, ready to pounce
-
>"YEAH!-"
-
>BONK
-
>yeah, everyone forgets they have 5 pounds of padding and kevlar around their skulls from time to time
-
>"ohmigosh you okay??"
-
>shes hovering with her ass in the air as the hit to your chin startled you
-
>"yeah, lol" you say, laughing to yourself, "dress for the slide not the ride"
-
>"what does that mean?"
-
>you restart the bike
-
>"it means keeping YOU safe when shit goes south"
-
>you boop a nice fresh fingerprint on the chin of her helmet
-
>dash assumes her position, and off you go back onto the highway
-
-
>you and dash string together a nice loop of highways and surface streets
-
>earning some oohs and ahhs from dashie as you went past the casino, the stadium, and the old town
-
>and of course above all else, whoops cheers and laughs as you wrung it out on long straight sections of highway
-
>cars looking like nothing but cones to slalom around
-
>dashie getting more comfortable with every pull
-
>she was ready
-
>but first, the bike was getting a bit light, time to fill up
-
>and what better place than the wawa on the edge of the city
-
>in contrast to the aesthetic buildings of downtown, this area was all cookie cutter developments and two-story housing projects amongst miles of warehouses and industry
-
>meaning not a soul was out here on a saturday night
-
>"woah... my legs are like, shaky" dashie points out as she roams around the pump with a visible vibration in her hooves
-
>"youre gettin' your sea legs"
-
>"why is this a 'wawa' anyway?"
-
>"because it has you on it"
-
>you point at the red bird up on the beige building
-
>"all... day... breakfast... do you think they sell pancakes here?"
-
>you actually think about it for a second
-
>"nah, last i came it was all eggs and stuff like that"
-
>dash marescrunched slightly
-
>*CLUNK*
-
>tikatikatikatikatikatikatikatika
-
>you put the pump back, pull yourself back together, and start the bike up
-
>dash is still hovering in front of the wawa sign
-
>"DASHIE!"
-
>she perks up and zips back to her post, sitting like an attentive student in her helmet
-
>"you ready?"
-
>some cute and fast nods
-
>"alright, were gonna spice it up a little bit. were going into the middle of nowhere where we can go REALLY fast"
-
>dash gulps under a beaming grin
-
>as you immediately find the perfect song
-
>"now listen closely, the beginning of this songs quiet"
-
>dash is giving her full attention
-
>with the volume on max, you press it with your thumb
-
>"AHHHH!"
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>the first second of Them Bones sent dash shooting into the sky
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>you laughing your ass off as she returned to earth
-
>and a very pranked pegasus calling you all sorts of dummy names as she play punched and shook your arm
-
>once you finally caught your breath, you looked back at her
-
>"you ready?"
-
>bobbleheaddash.wmv
-
>visor down, visor down, killswitch center, red button
-
>rewind button...
-
>you feel a small jolt in the body behind you, even though its now at a reasonable volume
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>couple of hooves around your abs
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>and off you go
-
>iiiiiiiiiiii belieeeeeeeeeeve them booooooones are meeeeee...
-
-
>as you ride northwest out of town, civilization thins out into collections of mobile homes and large plots of overgrown land
-
>amber bulbs radiating above the trees behind the curtain of endless LED streetlights
-
>after a very well advertised bend north, an endless stretch of highway with flat grasslands on one side and tall, thick brush on the other
-
>you pin the throttle, and the vaccuum of air sucks at your sides
-
>dashs grip tightens across your front
-
>70, 80, 90...
-
>she still clasps around you hard, but her breathing tells you shes a lot more used to it than before
-
>you always knew she was a speed demon
-
>you let off the throttle as some rhythmic flickering lights pop out in the distance
-
>and in about 30 seconds, you reach your left turn
-
>a whole light show of flashing ambers, reflectors, and rows of red and green traffic signals mark this seemingly monumental intersection of two roads.
-
>master of puppets finishes off as you wait for two straggling cars to pass by
-
>you wonder what song is gonna host the climax of this ride
-
>Natural Born Killer
-
>hell. yes.
-
>you feel dash's head bobbing against your back
-
>finding your gap, you lean yourself right and the bike left through the tight turn, and roll on the throttle
-
>keep it at about 60 until you get through the left
-
>and poetically during a machine gun riff, you flip to running lights, and pin the throttle
-
>dash's grip tightens again on cue
-
>except this time, you dont stop
-
>wring all the way through 4th...
-
>clutch up...
-
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-
>the winds louder than the engine
-
>the engines peak RPM barely pokes above the wind noise with its redlined pitch
-
>oh were not done yet
-
>clutch up...
-
>BRAAAPPPPSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-
>almost under the wind you can hear raspy laughter
-
>or you could be feeling her chest vibrating and your ears filling it in
-
>all sound collects in this supernova bubble around you
-
>underlined by the now muted, staticy wind noise
-
>blasting between the runways of reflectors catching the moonlight and feeding you the clear path forward at an absurd speed
-
>and now that your eyes are adjusted, the tapestry of stars further communicating to you every stain and pebble on the asphalt
-
>tall grey trees undulating in a ribbon-like wave to your-oh, blinking yellow
-
>you let off after what felt like 10 minutes in that state
-
>even dash lets off loose enough you think you were standing still
-
>'and im waiting, waiting for the days to pass me by'
-
>can you pull it off this time?
-
>'AND ALL THE PROMISES ILL FIIIIIIIIND...'
-
>youve got some extra weight on the back...
-
>'no hesitating, you pulled the trigger now your story's left behind'
-
>dash is gonna love this... even if you gotta chase it out
-
>'LIKE. MY. SOUL. YOU. WONT-'
-
>clutch, crunch, THRO-TLLLLLE
-
>your front wheels in the sky
-
>holy fucking shit
-
>feather that 1 to 2 milimeters of rear brake like its a tight rope
-
>dash clamps around you like a spidermonkey
-
>you cackle maniacally as you catapult your
-
unicycle down the highway
-
>dash is laughing too, you feel it in her chest
-
>and pounding heart punching you in the shoulder blades
-
>for maybe 5 seconds until the bubble forms and all is right again
-
>you feel something new though
-
>bap. bap. bap. bap. in a constant rhythm at your sides
-
>you glance down for a split second
-
>shes flapping her wings
-
>humans will never know what its like to fly under their power
-
>but this has to be pretty damn close
-
>and the fact that you took a creature that loves nothing more than flying and speed to that exact state with your own invented device
-
>one that is so extremely cute, soft and pure of soul
-
>makes this an easy top 3 night of your life
-
-
>omnomnomnomnomnomnom
-
>this is her second 4-stack of strawberry pancakes
-
>youre more of a waffle house guy, but it was the guest's craving
-
>the feeder fetish fags got something right, who knew
-
>she wipes off the sticky strawberry jam with her hoof
-
>"sho... whygggsfishplashe"
-
>"i cant hear a word your saying"
-
>gulp
-
>"so why is this place called "IPHO?" like, 'international pancake house of...'"
-
>youre confused
-
>"of what? you already said pancakes"
-
>"no i know, but like, theres still an 'O' after it so its like 'of' what!?"
-
>did she fall off and you not realize it?
-
>"what has an O after it?"
-
>"the SIGN! you know, the big blue thing out front, it says IPHO!"
-
>you try not to laugh
-
>mostly at the thought of dashie flying off and coming back unscathed because, well she can actually fly
-
>"Dashie, its 'international house of pancakes' I-HOP, I..."
-
>it hits you like a ton of bricks as blue fast starts to passionately spell out aye-pee-eych-oh
-
>why she has such a hard time remembering what your bikes called
-
>why she waits for a friend to get home before opening her mail
-
>and more importantly, why it took until daring do, a book which is full of pictures, to actually enjoy reading
-
>....we love our dyslexic blue pegasus.
-
>"uh, anon? you okay?"
-
>you laugh, but its more of a blush laugh
-
>"can i get you- guys... anything else?"
-
>"get her another 4 stack of strawberry pancakes"
-
>fucking waitors always killing the moment
-
>"come here"
-
>"she stretches her head full of beaming eyeballs across the table
-
>and you ruffle up her helmet head even more
-
>"i can tell you had a lot of fun tonight"
-
>she giggles
-
>"yeah... i didnt know you can go SO FRIGGING FAST in this place!"
-
>"and thats not even in the air"
-
>"maybe we should try that sometime, put me on your K-T-N..."
-
>close enough
-
>"...and try to fly with it! im sure twilight could find a way to work it"
-
>"well ill tell ya one thing, it wasnt legal"
-
>"pssh, rules are for chumps"
-
>truly your spirit mare
-
>"heres your pancakes sir"
-
>she beams a grin and starts attacking plate number three
-
>for about 3 bites
-
>until her eyelids drop like shutters
-
>sugar crash
-
>YAWWWWWN
-
>"im tired anon..."
-
>"dont mind if i do."
-
>operation: pay and get sleepy mare home is now in place
-
-
>you cruise down the city streets, chilling in 5th gear even though youre doing 45
-
>dash is more cuddling than holding onto you at this point
-
>when you started, the highway was about 20% full of cars streaming in and out of downtown for saturday night festivities
-
>now, you and dashie are truly alone
-
>nothing but darkened houses, black storefronts, and blinking yellow lights watching over you two
-
>gently guiding your bike to its bed in your condo block
-
>the stray cats politely clearing your path as you turn the last corner in the parking lot
-
>must be late, all 5 are out sleeping on the asphalt
-
>and once in the lines, you nudge that kill switch, and bask in the rare total silence of the night
-
>the limp blue body still wrapped around your abs, rhythmically rising and falling below the highlighter yellow helmet
-
>"knock knock, anyone home?"
-
>the helmet taps woke her up and snapped her right to attention
-
>you pull her visor up
-
>"end of the line, was that a ride?"
-
>she nods her head
-
>and you both go inside, careful not to wake any of the eeping mares
-
>you catch a glance of the clock
-
>3:51
-
>wow, beat your last record by a 28 minutes
-
>well, counting a stop or two
-
>tomorrows sunday, but applejacks gonna be up in 2 hours anyways
-
>still plenty time to shower and doze off
-
>dash has it easy, already curled up opposite her fellow pegasus
-
>helmet beside her on the coffee table, ready at a moments notice to ride again
-
>you did your job
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