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AppleJack's Bootleggin' Ballad

By Guest
Created: 2025-11-08 13:02:34
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    [intro]
  2. 2.
    On a day's honest work
  3. 3.
    walkin' from the apple stall
  4. 4.
    takin' a break
  5. 5.
    and headin' to the town hall.
  6. 6.
    Mayor Mare losin' is breakin' news
  7. 7.
    with two ponies celebratin'
  8. 8.
    by givin' their Flim-Flammin' views.
  9. 9.
     
  10. 10.
    With their winnin' speech
  11. 11.
    they declare their first law
  12. 12.
    all cider is banned in Ponyville
  13. 13.
    for evermore
  14. 14.
     
  15. 15.
    [verse]
  16. 16.
    Ponies gasp
  17. 17.
    steppin' back
  18. 18.
    like they seen a rattler
  19. 19.
    or fearin' bear attack,
  20. 20.
    Twi's quick to the library
  21. 21.
    an' hits the books
  22. 22.
    after'n all night session
  23. 23.
    townsponies are tradin' looks
  24. 24.
     
  25. 25.
    she's returnin'
  26. 26.
    with the fact
  27. 27.
    it's all official
  28. 28.
    and legally backed
  29. 29.
     
  30. 30.
    [verse]
  31. 31.
    Ponies keep coming to Applejack,
  32. 32.
    belly achin' about the lack of cider
  33. 33.
    she politely noddin' while hiding the
  34. 34.
    anger deep down inside her.
  35. 35.
    feelin' like there's somethin' she should do
  36. 36.
    knowin' the apple's would think so too
  37. 37.
    it's time to get her family's
  38. 38.
    point of view.
  39. 39.
     
  40. 40.
    [verse]
  41. 41.
    Granny smith slams her hoof down
  42. 42.
    slick-talkin’ varmints ain't gonna push us 'round
  43. 43.
    consarn it!
  44. 44.
    we're gonna keep on pressin'
  45. 45.
    so we can keep on blessin'
  46. 46.
    this town secretly with a supply o' cider
  47. 47.
    and be a backwoods provider
  48. 48.
    makin' sure Ponyville never dries out
  49. 49.
     
  50. 50.
    [verse]
  51. 51.
    the word soon spreads 'round town
  52. 52.
    about the cider underground
  53. 53.
    head to sweet apple acre's stall
  54. 54.
    and say its awful dry for fall
  55. 55.
    have a green apple is the reply
  56. 56.
    ya'll go to the farmhouse
  57. 57.
    Granny Smith'll give you one to try
  58. 58.
     
  59. 59.
    [verse]
  60. 60.
    Applejack greets howdy, when
  61. 61.
    there's a'knockin' at the door
  62. 62.
    but seein' the fancy golden badge
  63. 63.
    nearly knocks her to the floor
  64. 64.
    hired hooves, the new mayors had deputized
  65. 65.
    loudly yellin' at her
  66. 66.
    outta way, you's bein' investigatized
  67. 67.
     
  68. 68.
    [verse]
  69. 69.
    with some ponies still hidin'
  70. 70.
    Granny Smith raises the alarm
  71. 71.
    while the deputies search the farm
  72. 72.
    Apple Bloom quick-distracts
  73. 73.
    with a lookit this weird bug
  74. 74.
    so Big Mac and applejack
  75. 75.
    can cover the trapdoor with a rug
  76. 76.
     
  77. 77.
    [verse]
  78. 78.
    when the deputies leave
  79. 79.
    the hidden ponies scarper
  80. 80.
    the Apples mop their brows
  81. 81.
    feelin' they need to play it smarter.
  82. 82.
    maybe there's somethin' they can move 'round
  83. 83.
    so they can deliver, under cover
  84. 84.
    to ponies secretly, while in town
  85. 85.
     
  86. 86.
    [verse]
  87. 87.
    Big mac and Applejack
  88. 88.
    under the cover of next market day
  89. 89.
    are pullin' a false bottom cart
  90. 90.
    filled to the top with hay
  91. 91.
    when a group appears in fron' of them
  92. 92.
    the two come quickly to a halt
  93. 93.
    the deputies surround the new wagon
  94. 94.
    expectin' to find fault
  95. 95.
    one knocks a loose panel
  96. 96.
    an' a half empty Barrel starts to roll
  97. 97.
    the slight slope makin' it
  98. 98.
    drop in front of the town's patrol
  99. 99.
     
  100. 100.
    [bridge]
  101. 101.
    aww, hay, we been rumbled!
  102. 102.
    let's get outta here big mac!
  103. 103.
    yeehaw!
  104. 104.
    (get after them, boys!)
  105. 105.
     
  106. 106.
     
  107. 107.
    [verse]
  108. 108.
    the Apples split up and the deputies too
  109. 109.
    they cut in front of Applejack, who,
  110. 110.
    blocked from leavin' town
  111. 111.
    and needin' to double back
  112. 112.
    finds herself reunited with Big Mac.
  113. 113.
     
  114. 114.
    both dash into the market
  115. 115.
    hopin' to get out of view
  116. 116.
    tryin' to shake off the pursuers
  117. 117.
    by dippin' an' divin' their way through.
  118. 118.
     
  119. 119.
    [verse]
  120. 120.
    hooves are a'gallopin', with
  121. 121.
    deputies still chasin' from behind
  122. 122.
    bustin' through stacks of boxes
  123. 123.
    one's now wearin' a cardboard blind.
  124. 124.
    Applejack shouts back
  125. 125.
    while dodgin' side to side
  126. 126.
    y'all can't stop us!
  127. 127.
    we got apple pride!
  128. 128.
     
  129. 129.
    [verse 11]
  130. 130.
    jus' mindin' her own business
  131. 131.
    is a gray pegasus walkin' across
  132. 132.
    AJ and Big Mac swerve
  133. 133.
    their chosen fork, a coin toss
  134. 134.
    surrounded by walls of goods
  135. 135.
    seein' they're comin' to a dead end
  136. 136.
    their only hope, rampin' an upturned cart
  137. 137.
    with deputies comin' 'round the bend
  138. 138.
     
  139. 139.
    [verse]
  140. 140.
    with the Apples leapin' through the air
  141. 141.
    the townsponies stop and stare
  142. 142.
    it's too late for the deputies to see
  143. 143.
    the old cart's collapsed debris
  144. 144.
     
  145. 145.
    slammin' into each other
  146. 146.
    and gatherin' up every stall
  147. 147.
    they rumblin' through town, now
  148. 148.
    like a mighty big snowball.
  149. 149.
     
  150. 150.
    [verse]
  151. 151.
    ponies are divin' out the way
  152. 152.
    as the chaos comes tumblin' past
  153. 153.
    after finally slammin' into a wall
  154. 154.
    the avalanche comes to a stop, at last
  155. 155.
     
  156. 156.
    papers are a'flyin' out
  157. 157.
    as the deputies lie dazed and cross-eyed
  158. 158.
    sprawled out in the mayoral office
  159. 159.
    with a big hole in its side
  160. 160.
     
  161. 161.
    [verse]
  162. 162.
    Twi's drawn by the commotion
  163. 163.
    with townsponies givin' aid
  164. 164.
    all's left for her is to gather papers
  165. 165.
    before they're mislaid
  166. 166.
     
  167. 167.
    with a natural glancin' curiosity
  168. 168.
    she's seein' they're all receipts
  169. 169.
    both mayors been spending the town's funds
  170. 170.
    the proof bein' their mark on bill sheets
  171. 171.
     
  172. 172.
    [verse]
  173. 173.
    when Twi calls out
  174. 174.
    applejack comes to a stop
  175. 175.
    Twi's trying to explain to her
  176. 176.
    when the new mayors walk up
  177. 177.
     
  178. 178.
    dressed up in their finery
  179. 179.
    wonderin' what's going on
  180. 180.
    Twi stabs an angry hoof
  181. 181.
    asking if all the funds had been withdrawn
  182. 182.
     
  183. 183.
    [verse]
  184. 184.
    puttin' two and two together
  185. 185.
    with Twi's half-done splainin'
  186. 186.
    and the fancy clothes
  187. 187.
    right in fron' of her
  188. 188.
    ayjay shouts out
  189. 189.
    to the ponies clamorin' 'round
  190. 190.
    that both mayors been dippin' their hooves
  191. 191.
    in the town's fixin' fund
  192. 192.
     
  193. 193.
    [verse]
  194. 194.
    both mayors squirm
  195. 195.
    while rooted to the spot
  196. 196.
    not answerin' the question
  197. 197.
    despite already been caught
  198. 198.
    Twi gives Spike the word
  199. 199.
    not caring for both mayors disregard
  200. 200.
    he sends a quick letter to the Princess
  201. 201.
    with a reply she's turnin' out the guard
  202. 202.
     
  203. 203.
    [verse]
  204. 204.
     
  205. 205.
    with the townsponies lookin' mighty sore
  206. 206.
    and the guards on their way
  207. 207.
    the mayors decide its time
  208. 208.
    they made their quick getaway
  209. 209.
    with the brothers found out,
  210. 210.
    and on the run from the law
  211. 211.
    Mayor Mare's re-elected and her first act
  212. 212.
    is to end the cider ban for evermore!

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