Kingnon Snippet

 

>(You) got four hooves, a gaudy crown, and a migrane, so you must be His Majesty Anonymous Rex

>And that last thing doesn't feel like it's letting up anytime soon

>Amidst the nobility existing in general, some griffon 'brigands' testing your borders, and the mountain of work waiting back in your office, the most pressing source feeding it is currently to your left

>Princess Luna, Ruler of Dreams, Mistress of the Night, and Persistent Pain in The Ass

>You'll admit you can't blame her for her original poor reception

>One thousand years of imprisonment and a few hours of a failed sequel to her initial rebellion, and what is she met with?

>One big green usurper and zero indication as to where her older sister was

>It was likely only due to her being extremely weakened from getting blasted by the Elements that stopped her from trying to crawl up your forelegs and throttle some answers out of you

>Though not for lack of trying

>And that just about set the tone for your relationship

>Princess Luna managed to both have the great capacity to criticize your governance but also no interest in actually being involved in it

>Stalking the chamber during the early hours of your morning court to openly deride your rulings on matters was one thing, and even kind of funny

>But her dodging her share of responsibility was another entirely

>The paperwork demands a sacrifice of Alicorns

>The more the better

>And for all her begging off to 'learn to acclimate to the modern world' she still sounds like someone beat William Shakespeare with a hammer

>But you were sure she would come around at some point

>You put a lot of effort into keeping the memory of the Royal Sisters alive

>A few Holidays here and there, making sure to name drop them in speeches over the centuries, even some good old state-sponsored theatre

>In fact, after a few months of convalescence, you had arranged a special performance of the "Fall of The Lunar Sister"

>The title isn't great, sure, but the moral stressing the importance of making time for your family and loved ones was pretty well delivered, you think

>She fucking hated it

>The actors? amateurs with no business on stage

>The storyline? designed to make her look weak, not 'generate empathy'

>The moral? patronizing to be sure.

>Since then there's been no real winning with her

>You had hoped that her sister dragging herself out of the aether a few years later would see an improvement in her attitude

>A nice big 'I told you I didn't murder her' wrapped up in alabaster wings and a fat ass

>To your amazement having her sister back in her life just seemed to embolden her bullshit

>Like she thought she had backup since the numbers were now two to one

>To her credit Celestia doesn't support Luna's ideas of dumping you ass first outside the city limits and acting like nothing had changed

>But she doesn't exactly try and dissaude her from them either

>She probably feels more indulgent now that she knows ignoring her sister's problems has the chance to turn her into a demon

>Which, fair, but the support would've been nice

>At least she contributes towards running the country, bless her

>The paperwork is pleased to have a third Alicorn tending to it (thanks Cadance, we'll get Twilight up in here soon, promise)

>But just imagine what could be possible if there was a fourth pulling her weight

>You might get more than two days off a month!

>Oh, the lofty dreams pony Kings dream

>Such fantasies will have to wait though

>Luna still isn't done with her current diatribe

>"Truly, i doth not und'rstand wherefore thee begeth our council in these meetings if 't be true thou art going to insist on being presenteth, usurp'r. The griffons only engage in their aggression in response to thy owneth. We hadst those folk eating out of our hooves centuries ago, and couldst receiveth those folk backeth in line if 't be true thee alloweth us taketh the leadeth. as thee shouldst has't already"

>You didn't really pay attention when your Freshman English class was taking turns reading Romeo and Juliet but you're pretty sure it didn't sound even half that bad

>But you've been on this end of Luna's bitching enough to understand the gist

>'Hey dumbass, fuck on off back to where ever you came from so we can properly clean up your mess'

>Nothing new, really, but this was a sore spot

>Griffonstone had been the biggest thorn in your side during your rule

>Not out of being a genuine threat, no, absolutely not

>But just from their sheer persistence in poking the bear

>The yaks? fucked off after you concussed their King in a headbutt contest before closing their borders entirely, and Torch kept the dragons in line after your first meeting

>The Dragonlord wasn't immortal, but his lifespan ensured that you probably wouldn't have to put on another demonstration for a few more decades at this point

>The Griffons went through so many goddamn Emperors and Kings and Regents that it seemed like they were too busy stabbing each other in the back to actually learn any lessons

>The most pertinent one being 'Don't fuck with Equestria'

>Which leads you to this latest meeting with Emperor Whogivesafuck to discuss the bandits taking pot shots at your borders

>Bandits your ass, this was far from the first time those assholes had dirtied up their soldiers armor and tried to pass them off as independent rabblerousers, and even with the very blunt laying down of the law you gave the Emperor you had no doubts you'd be giving the same speech in a few months to King Dontbotherlearningit

>Celestia clearly wasn't a fan of your threatening approach to negotiations, but she at least recognized that your crown was currently bigger than hers, so she gave counsel instead of trying to take the lead during the meeting

>Luna, meanwhile, had opinions

>And Lord they were still happening

>"it is a wond'r any of our ancient allies still calleth us as such with thy sledgehamm'r approach to politics, so boldly threatening to taketh their lands f'r yourself in such a matt'r. Is th're nothing thee consid'r out of reacheth of thy covetous hooves? aft'r usurping our throne, I supposeth not."

>That word again

>'Usurp', 'Usurper'

>It was her favorite title for you, certainly one she put to use far more often than 'King'

>It always served to make your withers tense and your teeth clench

>And after an hour of having to listen to that dipshit Emperor lie through his teeth about his manuevering, after one too many incidents with that ponce Blueblood terrorizing the maid staff, and most importantly, nearly a full month of your muzzle being in the proverbial fire, it wasn't something you wanted to hear anymore

>Before you even registered it you'd made a tight turn to go from walking between Luna and Celestia to standing directly in front of the Princess of the Night

>Muzzle? Scrunched. Teeth? Bared. Filter? Off.

"You know, Princess. If you're so dead set on hunting down the Pony responsible for our current roles, you might consider taking a look in one of the many mirrors in Canterlot Castle."

>"I begeth thy pardon?"

>"King Anonymous, that hardly seems appropriate -"

>Nah, we're not doing mediation right now, good effort though Celly

"You want to call me a usurper? Sure. I can cop to that if it means so much to you. But I was only ever in a position to do so because you decided to indulge in the whispers of the Dark Below because ponies like to sleep at the hours when it's most appropriate to. You gave in to the Nightmare over petty jealousy and set this one-"

>You gestured with your hoof towards Celestia, to ensure she felt good and involved in this whole mess

"- On the path to getting her trapped in the fucking Sun in a misguided effort to break you out of jail early."

>Luna seemed poised to retort, but none of that now, thanks

"I took power in an age of strife and famine. It's a miracle we didn't starve before I could coerce Discord to tend to the day and night cycle in your absences. In fact, I take it back. I don't acknowledge your usurpation claims. I did not take Equestria from your thrones. I took it from the brink of damnation, and If I had to spill blood to ensure that it would be waiting for you when you returned, then I damn well would, did and will continue to."

>You stomp the ground with one of your forelegs, the resulting spiderweb of cracks on the marble are sure to get you some side eye from the royal masons, but that's a future problem for a future Anon

"And you returned - and for the past few years you haven't lifted a single hoof to take that power from me, or share in it, despite me making it clear you were welcome to. For all your hateful talk, you haven't put your claims to the proof, and I don't think you ever will. I'm almost convinced that this dynamic is just more of the same for you. A backseat politician. You wonder why they never showed you appreciation in your time? Like I said, check out one of my castle's many mirrors."

>Any good bitching out requires you get in the last word, and nothing facilitates that like a good Teleportation spell. The Sisters know the way back to the Castle, they can escort themselves.

>You wouldn't be aware of it, but the Tantabus hardly had to do any work that night.