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Good Ol' Girls - Unknown Author

By ticker
Created: 18th December 2020 03:55:02 AM

  1. >Anon’s place has been so chilly lately with fall only days away from winter.
  2. >It’s pretty warm right now though.
  3. >Really warm actually…
  4. >Comfy too.
  5. >You yawn as your sleepiness begins giving way.
  6. >When did Anon’s couch get so comfy?
  7. >And smell so good too...
  8. >You lean in closer until you feel something that’s not her couch nudge your flank.
  9. >Your breathing feels a little more labored as you nestle in closer to it.
  10. >The sleep in your body is gone in an instant however when you recognize the feeling as Anon’s hand.
  11. >You try to stifle it, but a shriek escapes your lips as you jump into the air.
  12. >”AAH!” Anon shouts as she’s awoken by your coltish shriek.
  13. >”Holy shit Dash! You scared the hell out of me” she chuckles while clutching her chest.
  14. >You look away from her face and find yourself staring down at the blanket you were bundled up in next to her.
  15. >Were you two?!
  16. “S-sorry, I uh…”
  17. >”What’s the matter Dashie? Did ya have a bad dream?” she goads.
  18. “No! I just felt a spring or something! Your couch could use some repairs Anon!”
  19. >She grins smugly at you, “Oh yeah? Are you sure that’s all it was? “Anon! You’re you’re not going to hibernate in the winter too are you?! M-muh heart! I couldn’t take it if you were gone too!"” she says, mocking you from the talk you two had a few days ago.
  20. “I told you it was your damn couch!” you yell at her.
  21. >She can be such a cunt sometimes…
  22. >Anon taps your shoulder with a fist, “C’mon Dash, I’m just messing with ya. I’ll try to find someone around town with a couch cutie mark or something alright?”
  23. "Wait, Anon do-“
  24. >Actually, paying to have your couch checked for nothing seems like just the right kind of payback.
  25. “I mean… y-yeah. I’m sure they can help you out at Quills and Sofas” you say innocently, all the while cackling inside your head.
  26. >”What a strange combination of things to sell in one store…” she muses, "Well, we can just chill on the floor I guess until I get it fixed” she chirps while sliding down from the couch as though she were liquid.
  27. >Her long sleeve shirt lifts up as it catches on the couch and you get a full view of her stomach and part of her slightly furry chest.
  28. >You watch her intently.
  29. >No wait! N-no you don’t!
  30. >You were definitely NOT checking her out!
  31. >”We wouldn’t want Dashie gettin’ a spring in her ass or anything” Anon goads.
  32. >You turn away from Anon to hide the red on your cheeks.
  33. “Y-yeah yeah…” you respond, trying not to let your voice sound panicked.
  34. >You’ve got to get out of here!
  35. >This is too much for you to deal with right now...
  36. >”Hey Dash? Wanna play some mothafuckin’ F-Zero?!” she asks holding up her controller and your “playmat”  since you’re not a unicorn.
  37. “Uhm… I can’t! Uh, have to go do… cloud business, yeah! It’s really important and all” you respond jumping from one hoof to the other to get the idea of “urgency” across.
  38. >She frowns somewhat, “Oh. Alright then, guess I’ll just be here then...” she says wistfully.
  39. >Your heart feels a little heavy... but that’s part of the problem!
  40. >”Beating your high score that is!” she sneers at you.
  41. >You smile at her, but quickly retract it to a neutral look.
  42. “Okay, well. I’ll see you around Anon” you say crouching to take off through her window.
  43. >”Later Betch!” she shouts while staring at her compooter window thing.
  44. >You find yourself tearing flank through the sky as you try to clear your thoughts.
  45. >Anon’s one of your closest friends.
  46. >She’s only been here for a little over a month, but it didn’t take long for her to recognize you as the awesomest pony in all of Equestria.
  47. >And she’s pretty awesome herself.
  48. >Her apartment that came with her to Equestria is full of the coolest stuff and she likes all the same things you like.
  49. >Pranks.
  50. >Rock music.
  51. >Sports.
  52. >You even like those vidya games she has.
  53. >You two get along so well that you were actually really worried she had to hibernate for the winter too.
  54. >Turns out it was just Derpy confusing the space above Anon’s apartment for thunder cloud storage that was keeping her up and making her all tired.
  55. >That was probably the time you really noticed it.
  56. >How worried you are about her.
  57. >It’s like as much as Fluttershy and the other girls.
  58. >But just a little different with Anon.
  59. >You can’t wrestle with her for as long, or tackle as hard.
  60. >Not without feeling weird about it anyway.
  61. >And just now… you both must have taken a nap on her couch.
  62. >You know your clit winked when you nudger her hand with your ass.
  63. >But you’re straight!
  64. >Straight as an arrow!
  65. >You love dicks!
  66. >Like all the time. DIcks dicks dicks!
  67. >Right?
  68. >Right!
  69. >So why then…
  70. >You scream into the cloud you pulled along with you to a secluded area before falling on top of it defeatedly.
  71. >Why does Anon make you feel so… weird.
  72.  
  73. >Be Anon.
  74. >Sole human in this magical horse world called Equestria.
  75. “FUCK!”
  76. >And loser of video games to a colorful blue horse that doesn’t even have any goddamn thumbs!.
  77. “How the hell does fast flying translate to fast space vehicle driving?” you grumble.
  78. >Fuck this then.
  79. >You rise and work out the soreness in your ass from sitting on the floor.
  80. >Looking over the couch doesn’t reveal anything wrong with it, you even pat it all over to double check.
  81. >But it looks totally fine aside from the multi colored fur all over it, the majority being blue.
  82. >You tug at your pants to adjust your boys into a more comfortable position, wishing you could just stroll about in boxers.
  83. >Don’t like wearing pants indoors, but since only your apartment came with you to Equestria after that bomb went off it doesn’t have all the insulation it needs.
  84. >Pont is, it’s cold as dicks in here so you have to be bundled up.
  85. >Well, Rainbow bailed so now you don’t really have any plans…
  86. >Your power crystals are getting a little low…
  87. >Guess you could go work for Twilight or Rarity today.
  88. >They could charge up some of your crystals if you get a few hours in.
  89. >Better than slouching around alone anyway.
  90. >After all, you’re a fucking man.
  91. >You have manly pride and shit.
  92. >Also, you'd just wind up wasting the whole day jerking it or something if you stay here.
  93. >Look out Ponyville, here comes Anon.
  94. >The last man on Equ-… you should really learn if Equestria is the nation or the name of the planet huh?
  95.  
  96. >Deciding you don’t want to be doing Chinese sweatshop style labor all day you walk down the path to Twilight’s with the hope that she actually has work for you to do.
  97. >You push open one of the large wooden doors to Twilight’s castle.
  98. ”Hey hey hey!” you shout into the empty hall doing your best Fat Albert impression.
  99. >”Just one moment sir!” you hear Twilight’s echo from afar.
  100. >A bright purple flash blinds you for a moment, but you catch hints of Twilight looking around frantically before actually noticing you’re there.
  101. >”Anon?! I thought I heard… well never mind” she pauses with a sigh but quickly assumes a friendly demeanor, “So what brings you by Anonymous?”
  102. >You pull out a handful of empty power crystals and show them to twilight.
  103. “I was wo-“
  104. >”Anon! I’m normally happy to help out a friend, but I’m a little busy at the moment to be toiling over your power needs right now. The only reason I even came down here was becau-“
  105. “Oh no! No no, I was going to ask if there was some work I could do in exchange for some charges.”
  106. >Twilight’s little rant dies in her throat, which she clears to revert back to her friendly demeanor from her whiny one, “Oh! Well if that’s the case…”
  107. >She puts a hoof to her chin as she searches her mind to think of jobs for you.
  108. >”Oh, you can go help Spike! He’s organizing my room full of checklists in the order I set in a masterlist.”
  109. >No surprise there.
  110. >”And after that I could use your help moving my shipments of books into the library. It’s too dangerous a job fro Spike to do, and I am actually pretty busy so it would really help if you could do it.”
  111. >Sure, make the human who can’t levitate shit with his mind do it…
  112. “Yeah, alright… Where’s Spike working at anyway?”
  113. >”He’s down the hall, twelfth door on the right” Twilight responds before teleporting away.
  114. >You walk down the hall, counting the doors as you go, and enjoying the sounds your feet make when they strike the crystal floor.
  115. “Aaaand twelve.” you say while turning the handle.
  116. >”Aww come on… where is that dang scroll?” Spike mumbles to himself while digging through the massive pile on the table.
  117. “Hey little dude! What’s up?” you greet.
  118. >Spike jumps, knocking several scrolls to the ground, “A-Anon?! Uh…. I mean, nothing! Hehe, I-I’m just working… wh-what’s up with you?”
  119. >Spike is always so jittery.
  120. >You respond while picking up the fallen scrolls to add them back in the pile.
  121. >“Not much buddy. Twilight sent me to work with you on this whole scroll dealy.”
  122. >”Sh-she did? That’s great! Uh, I mean yeah… that’s cool.”
  123. “Yup. So, what are we doing exactly?”
  124. >His green eyes seem to snap to attention, “Oh right, we’re supposed to put those scrolls into the order that this list says… Hey! You have the one we need, lemme show you where to put it” he chirps.
  125. >You look at the scroll in your hand and see that it does match the next unchecked thing on Twilight’s list.
  126. >”Alright, you have to be a really careful when opening the drawer, but I’m pretty good at this by now, watch!”
  127. >He pulls gently on the handle only for it to not budge.
  128. >Spike laughs nervously and tries to pull it a little harder.
  129. >”Hehe, I’m just uh goofing around! You know o’l Spikey can be a goof.”
  130. >You smile at his little dragon antics and watch as he yanks harder on the drawer.
  131. “Hey, do you need me to h-“
  132. >”No! I can… ugh, I can do it!” he grunts as he pulls the drawer with all his might.
  133. >The drawer goes flying open and Spike falls back with the momentum.
  134. >Scrolls fly around everywhere and you’re left to stand over all the carnage.
  135. >”Oh man…I swear I did this great before!” he whimpers.
  136. >You run a hand over his head, smoothing back the soft green spines on his head.
  137. “It’s alright Spike, We’ll just start over. Yeah?”
  138. >He sniffles silently and wipes away a tear, “I’m sorry Anon…” he mumbles.
  139. “It’s cool little dude, we’ll get this sorted in no time together right?”
  140. >”Together?” he whispers, “Yeah! We can do this... together” he says nodding happily
  141. “That’s my dragon! Now what’s first on the list?”
  142. >You both work at a steady pace, calling out scroll names and picking them off the ground or the table.
  143. >It becomes your sole job to work the magic drawer where they all go in though.
  144. >”Upcoming Winter Wrap-up” Spike reads from the list.
  145. >You both scan the table for the scroll specified.
  146. >Spying it you reach out to grab it, only to wind up getting a handful of dragon claw.
  147. >You pull your hand back slightly so Spike can take it.
  148. “Sorry.”
  149. >”He yanks his hand back up to his chest and holds it with the other.
  150. >Wow, you didn’t hurt him did you?
  151. >”I’m sorry! I uh… I didn’t see your hand until … it was… holding mine” he mumbles.
  152. >Guess he’s pretty sensitive about his claws.
  153. “It’s cool little dude” you respond assuringly.
  154. >You stand there next to him in silence for a bit while he continues looking at his claw.
  155. “Uh… Spike?”
  156. >”Yeah Anon?” he asks almost sleepily before jumping to attention, "Uh Anon?!"
  157. “I think you grabbed the scroll first?”
  158. >”Scroll? Oh! Hehe, right! The scroll that we both held… that scroll!” he chirps while picking it up.
  159. >You laugh off his silly dragon antics internally as you open the drawer for him to drop the scroll in.
  160. “Alright, what’s next on the list?”
  161. >”Uhm… Upcoming Winter Wrap-up” he responds.
  162. >You turn to see him smiling at his claw again rather than looking at the list.
  163. “Spike? You just did that one.”
  164. >”Huh? Oh yeah… I guess I forgot to check it off, alright the next one is…”
  165. >You both continue to work and get pretty close to done.
  166. >The remaining scroll pile has shrunk down enough to be moved to a smaller table that’s closer to the drawer.
  167. >”Anon? I uhm, I like your outfit” he says casually.
  168. “This? Psh, it’s something I just yanked out of my closet.”
  169. >”No! You look really good!”
  170. >He drops the scroll he was hodling, “No! Wait I mean…”
  171. >You chuckle warmly and pat his head.
  172. “Well, thanks little dude. I was really only dressing to keep warm in my cold ass apartment, but I guess I got lucky with my pulls.”
  173. >”A-are you still cold? I could warm it up in here if you want!” he says in a panic.
  174. “No Spike, I’m pretty al-“
  175. >He takes a huge gulp of air before you can finish your sentence and the next thing you know.
  176. “Aw fuck! The tables on fire!”
  177. >”I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry! I didn’t mean to!”
  178. >No water.
  179. >Fucking scrolls nearby.
  180. >Gotta act fast!
  181. >You rip off your thermal and use it to bat down the green flames on the table.
  182. >Thankfully your shirt doesn’t catch aside from a few burn marks here and there.
  183. “Holy shit… I think… I think I got it all” you say through heavy breaths and the adrenalin in your blood has yet to die down.
  184. >”Anon I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean t-t-t-to-“ his voice keeps catching in his throat as his eyes shimmer with tears.
  185. “Hey it’s cool Spike no harm done! The scrolls were all over there, and my shirt and the table is only a little burned. It’ll probably wash and sandpaper right out respectively.”
  186. >He bolts out of the room holding an arm over his eyes to try and hide his tears.
  187. >You sigh and get back to work.
  188. >He’s a pretty emotional little guy.
  189. >Kind of makes sense given that he’s the only dragon around.
  190. >Oh. That kind of thinking will take you down a dark road too.
  191. >Back to scroll hunting then!
  192. >Spike returns a little later, his eyes are a little puffy but is otherwise pretending nothing happened.
  193. >”Oh wow! You managed to get through all those scrolls while I was… in the bathroom?”
  194. “It wasn’t as fun without my little dragon buddy, but since there’s so few left I did get through some yeah.”
  195. >He smiles up at you with determination in his eyes, “Well I’m back! So let’s get cracking at this list huh?”
  196. >You both finish in what feels like no time.
  197. >Spike’s even back to his old self by the end of it.
  198. “So that’s the last one huh? Job well done partner” you respond holding out a fist.
  199. >He bumps it with a light giggle, “S-so Anon… usually after doing some are work I like to reward myself with some ice cream...”
  200. “Yeah? That sounds like a pretty excellent way to enjoy a job well done little dude.”
  201. >”Yeah… b-but I usually can’t eat the whole tub by myself without getting sick…”
  202. “Heh, don’t worry man, you’re still growing. One day you’ll be like me and can polish off two whole tubs in twenty minutes.”
  203. >”Oh Anon I’d love to go wit- wait, what?”
  204. “Well alright, maybe I exaggerated a little bit, but it was more like thirty minutes I’m pretty sure.”
  205. >”Uhm… I really really like mint chocolate chip…” he says fiddling his claws together.
  206. “Well, you go enjoy you a big tub of it Spike, you totally earned it dude” you respond while stroking back his head spines, “I’ve gotta go haul some book shipments for Twilight before I can get paid.”
  207. >You leave the dragon behind to go and enjoy his treat and head back towards the library.
  208. "Move the crates on the right, all the way to the back of the Library, there’s a note telling you where to drop them.”
  209. >That’s what Twilight’s note read as.
  210. >So that’s what you’re gonna do.
  211. >Man, fuck Bookhorse.
  212. >These crates weigh so goddamn much.
  213. >This combined with the whole I’m going to die in a big green fire fiasco and you’re sweating more than… than… damn. Where’s AJ when you need her.
  214. >You strip off your shirt again and let the cool room of the library surround your naked torso.
  215. >You hear a rustle of books somewhere nearby and spy a purple tail poking out of a small pile of books.
  216. “Spike? I thought you went to go get ice cream?” you ask, walking over to the pile.
  217. >”Uhm… th-there’s no Spike here!” the pile responds.
  218. >You slide the pile around to reveal the cowering purple dragon beneath, “Oh! uh, hey Anon… wow! Th-this isn’t the ice cream parlor…” he responds nervously.
  219. “No, it’s not… were you just not hungry?” you ask, noticing the drool on his chin.
  220. >”Uh… Nope! Not hungry it turns out…”
  221. >D’aww he just wanted some bro time.
  222. “Alright then, I’m just about done here so why don’t you just hang out and maybe when I’m done we can go get some mint chocolate chip?”
  223. >”Wh-whoa really?!”
  224. >Little dude is all about that ice cream.
  225. “Sure, I’ll be quick.”
  226. >”N-no! You can take your time… I don’t mind.”
  227. >Spike hops into a nearby chair while you get back to hauling.
  228. >He must’ve found a pretty good book in that pile since he’s clutching it pretty close in his lap.
  229. >You grunt as you drop the last crate into place.
  230. “Phew! Finally don-“
  231. >”Anon? Are you still working? I expected you to be done some time ago” Twilight calls from just outside the library.
  232. >”Uh oh! Hum…. I gotta get ou-“
  233. >The doors open to reveal Twilight walking in, “You are still working… you know that slacking off is no- Spike?! Anon! What in Equestria do you think you’re doing?!’ she shouts at you.
  234. >Spike hops from his chair and scurries out of the room behind the furious allicorn princess.
  235. >Twilight stomps closer and closer to you.
  236. “Whoa! Hey, what are you talking about? I did what you asked!”
  237. >”Do you have ANY idea what kind of influence you’re having on SPIKE?!’
  238. >Influence?
  239. >What in the hell could you be influ-
  240. >Your shirt?
  241. >Oh shit…
  242. >Maybe he’s self conscious or something.
  243. >You two are the only bipedial things around, and while you’re not in the greatest of shape you don’t carry nearly as much belly pudge as he does.
  244. >It’s not really fair to compare yourselves, but as emotional as he is you could see him doing it anyway and feeling pretty bad about it.
  245. “Oh shit. Twilight, I swear to you… I had no clue I what I was doing to spike! I’m really sorry!”
  246. >She halts her approach, hopefully noticing the honesty in your apology.
  247. >Twilight looks down to the ground and sighs, “I’m… I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you both. It’s just... it's not easy trying to raise Spike you know? He’s changing in all kinds of ways, and I just get frustrated at myself for not adapting to them quicker."
  248.  >You breathe a sigh of relief knowing that she’s relaxed somewhat.
  249. >”I will have to talk with him about this, which is going to be very awkward… but I don’t blame you for not understanding Anon. You’ve only been here for a little over a month, how could I?”
  250. >You both stand there awkwardly as you shuffle back into your shirt.
  251. “So…”
  252. >”I charged up the power crystals for you, all of them… that’s all I need from you today I think.”
  253. >Yeah, that’s a “kindly get out of my castle” if you’ve ever heard one.
  254. “Right…. so I’ll see you around then?”
  255. >”Yup, have a good day Anon.”
  256. >You head out of the library and wave goodbye to Spike who was peeking down at you from the top of the stairs near the castle doors.
  257. >He returns a weak smile and waves back at you.
  258. >Maybe you’ll try to talk him into “job well done salads” next time…
  259.  
  260. >With a final split, you hold the last two notes with legs spread apart.
  261. >Pinkie on the other hand has already flopped down onto her belly.
  262. >She’s gasping for air.
  263. “Ponk?”
  264. >She hums absently, too worn out to even look up at you.
  265. >”So tell me something, how is it that you can not only keep up with me in Contra, but actually carry the entire game by yourself, and be this worn out from one game of DDR?”
  266. >She still lays there, sweating all over your USB playmat, trying to catch her breath.
  267. >This is totally absurd, she’s all about games ever since you introduced them to her.
  268. >Anything that’s not action filled gets a pass from her, even cutscenes, oh man does she hate cutscenes.
  269. >DDR seemed like the perfect thing for the super energetic party pony.
  270. >”It’s just too similar to work I guess… so my brain is all like NOOO! and when my brain get’s all like NOOO! Then my knees feel bored, and lungs are all like “meh” and then I get sweaty and achey and OH! And then my muscles are REALLY like NOOOOOO-“
  271. >You pinch her mouth shut, not willing to listen to her scream any longer.
  272. “I get it Ponk, you don’t like DDR. You can just say that you know?”
  273. >You can hear rumblings in her throat that sound like giggles.
  274. >You let go of her mouth so she can let them all out, “I know, but where’s the fun in that Nonny? You gotta have fun! And this,” she motions to the song select screen, “This isn’t fun. It’s arrows, arrows aren’t fun. Now lets load up some punchy, bikey, pillar-dodgey battletoa-“
  275. >She’s cut off by a loud rumble in her stomach.
  276. >Now that you’re thinking about it, you’re kind of hungry too.
  277. “Say, why don’t we make a,” you glance at your clock out of instinct and remember that it’s still not timed up properly, it seems dark outside, “Late lunch/ early dinner kind of thing?”
  278. >Wow, you guys played all the way through lunch.
  279. >”Yeah yeah! Oh, you know what goes great with games?!”
  280. “Pinkie, please. You think I don’t know what goes great with games?”
  281. >You lean down just as she rears up.
  282. >Face to face you both shout.
  283. “ULTIMATE!”
  284. >”PIZZA!”
  285. >And now in unison.
  286. “TIME!"
  287. >”TIME!”
  288. >You quickly throw on a hat and jacket since the stands are probably close to closing.
  289. >”Come on! Don’t make me wait forever, I’m already dreaming of the melty melty cheese!” Pinkie shouts, likely from your front door.
  290. >You bolt out past her and she jumps along to catch up.
  291. >You still wonder how exactly she doesn’t like DDR, but it could be like you and first person shooters, different preferences.
  292.  
  293. “Ponk, get the door. I’m dying over here.”
  294. >”Good, more Ulitmate Pizza for me.”
  295. “I’ll take your damned pizza to the grave with me if you don’t open that door.”
  296. >She opens the entrance to your humble abode and you practically tumble into the kitchen to drop all your pricy purchases on the table.
  297. >Shit’s getting expensive as winter looms close.
  298. >Unless you’re Time Turner apparently, that dude really knows how to make the ladies swoon.
  299. >You don’t get it either, he doesn’t even seem to be trying.
  300. >Any attempts you made to get a cheaper price was met with heavy resistance.
  301. >One of them even called you a dyke and raised the prices, not really sure what they meant by that...
  302. >Pinkie voice rouses you from your thoughts, ”Get the dough first Non, or is it too heavy for you?” Pinkie goads as she’s rummaging your cupboards.
  303. >Next time you’re going to remember to make Pinkie take her saddlebags so you’re not carrying everything yourself.
  304. >”Are you okay Nonny? Do you need some water? Maybe with a lemon wedge cut into the shape of a cute star? Y’know because you’re such a little bastard.”
  305. “Yeah yeah… lets see you carry everything with only your forehooves next time Panko Breadcrumbs.”
  306. >”Oh no! We forgot the breadcrumbs!”
  307. >You both laugh while spreading out all the ingredients on the table.
  308. “Think we can substitute these dried death peppers in place of the breadcrumbs? They’re probably crunchy right?”
  309. >Pinkie takes a huge gasp, “Nonny that is the best idea EVER! We can use the dried normal peppers too, but only on half of the pizza.”
  310. “Are we doing an ultimate pizza roulette here?”
  311. >Her face turns deathly serious, “Non. Drop the peppers.”
  312. >You and Pinkie isolate where the slices are going to be and drop death and normal peppers on random slices.
  313. “I don’t think I can eat haycon strips Pinkie.”
  314. >”Aww, I forgot.”
  315. “You know what? I’m not doing anything tomorrow I think. Go ahead and throw it in there, if I get sick it’ll hopefully pass in a day or something.”
  316. >”Yeah chick!” Pinkie chirps as she slugs your leg with a hoof.
  317. >Chick? She just can’t stop ribbing you, even in you’re doing something nice.
  318. >Ah well, she’s good at taking jokes back so it’s all good.
  319. >You both load up the pizza with all kinds of sit you bought.
  320. >Though you do have to convince her not to add flashpowder pellets.
  321. >You don’t doubt that they taste “Explosively amazing!” but you really don’t want to have to clean up your oven.
  322. >Speaking of that oven.
  323. “PINKIE NO!”
  324. >You rip the log of wood she’s about to toss in out of her hooves.
  325. >”What’s the big idea Non-“
  326. >You bonk her lightly on the head with the log.
  327. “My oven doesn’t use wood fire. I must have told you this like twenty times by now.”
  328. >She puts a hoof to her chin as she tries remembering the last time you had to stop her.
  329. “Remember? I had to use that “yummy foam” that made you sick?”
  330. >”Oh yeah! Do you have any more of that? We could put it on the pizza!”
  331. “I only have one more fire extinguisher left Pinkie, and I’m not putting it on the pizza.”
  332. >She crosses her forelegs, “Fiiiine, let’s go play some Doom while we wait! We can take turns.”
  333. >She loves that game.
  334. >It still baffles you to watch her play that with only the dancepad.
  335. >There’s nowhere near enough buttons on there to play it, but she’s basically speedrunning the game at this point.
  336. “So who’s going first? I bet I can take a guess...”
  337. >”Uh, duuuuuh? Who won at hoofball last time?”
  338. “I did.”
  339. >”No Nonny, not hoofball, I’m talking about hoofball.”
  340. >She means football, you stomped her in baseball.
  341. >Pinkie calls every sport hoofball, “Because you use your hooves to play” is her justification.
  342. >She could just admit she doesn’t know anything about sports and just likes playing anything, but what can you do?
  343. >The oven has dinged and you extract the golden crusted deliciousness that is…
  344. >”Ultimate!”
  345. “Pizza!”
  346. >Pinkie slices the pie into perceived segments with what looks like a flick of her neck.
  347. >”Sugarcube Corner changes a mare” she says in response to your amazement.
  348. >Both you and Pinkie nervously grab a slice of Pizza.
  349. >They’re both equal in terms of toppings.
  350. >Even the color, size, and amount of pepper slices.
  351. >You swallow hard.
  352. “Well… it was nice knowing you Pinkie.”
  353. >”Bury me with all my balloons Anon.”
  354. >You take the first tension filled bite.
  355. >”AAH! HOT HOT!” Pinkie shouts as she runs around your living room, mouth open and breathing loudly.
  356. >You almost choke on your slice from laughing.
  357. “Looks like you got the bullet eh Ponk?”
  358. >”No, I’m fine! I just burned my mouth” she says sticking out her tongue at you.
  359. >You can see a triangle shaped red mark on her tongue.
  360. >Oh.
  361. “I think I’m fine too…”
  362. >You both look at your pizza slices and then each other.
  363. >She starts giggling and you start laughing.
  364. >A sudden roar of flame erupts from Pinkie mouth.
  365. >You jump back and fall on your ass as she starts spewing fire like Spike does when you sneak up on him.
  366. “Jesus Pinkie! Stop talking! You’ll kill us both!”
  367. >”Ah! I can’t stop! But it doesn’t hurt! Nonny this is AWESOME!”
  368. >”Death” peppers.
  369. >Fucking horseworld, nothing is every straightforward here.
  370. >You grab Pinkie and aim her like a flamethrower as you lead her outside.
  371. >Thankfully she manages to only singe a few things before you can get her out.
  372. “Stay here” you command.
  373. >You run in and grab the remaining pizza and your fire extinguisher.
  374. >Setting it all down on your cold patio outside, you turn to see Pinkie warming her hooves with her fire breath.
  375. “Gimmie a slice of yours Pinkie, I want in on this.”
  376. >At some point smores over your roaring mouth fires are made while you two bitch about work and life.
  377. >All in all it was a good day.
  378. >You’re out of fire extinguishers though.
  379. >There’s probably a magic version or something that you’ll have to look into now.
  380.  
  381. >This is a nice evening.
  382. >It’s not chilly like you’d expect with winter coming in close.
  383. >Wonder how you’re going to sp-
  384. >”Howdy Anon!”
  385. “No Applebloom, you can’t study me for a cutie mark.”
  386. >”Can I study you fo- Hey! I didn’t even ask yet” she whines.
  387. >Fucking kids.
  388. “Fine. Go ahead and ask.”
  389. >”Can I stu-… uh, I mean, can we hang out?”
  390. >Yeah sure. Nothing strange about a grown ass man hanging out with a little girl… horse.
  391. “Yeah…. no. Sorry kiddo Ive got plans.”
  392. >”Aww, c’mon. Ya work on my farm, I ain’t askin’ for much."
  393. >Persistent little kid, this world would a be a molester’s paradise.
  394. “I work on ‘your family’s’ farm, and…”
  395. >C’mon think of something...
  396. >Jewelry store, market stands, bar, Sugarcube Cor-
  397. >Bar! It’s perfect!
  398. “I’m going to go get sloshed. At the bar. The bar that you can’t enter AB.”
  399. >”Aww nuts…” you hear her say as the door shuts behind you.
  400. >Phew, managed to dodge that bullet of bother.
  401. >It’s not that you don’t like her or her little friends, it’s just that they can’t seem to stop wanting to use you for their butt pictures.
  402. >And now, as a result you’re hiding out in a bar.
  403. >A bar that serves alcohol so far below your tolerance level that it’s basically overpriced water to you.
  404. >Seems pretty crowded today for such a nice evening outside.
  405. >Must be ladies night or something cause they’re really packed in here.
  406. >Not wanting to deal with the bar atmosphere you opt for the open area in the back.
  407. >You waltz into the gated outside of the bar.
  408. >While out there you happen to spot a certain white pony.
  409. “Rarity, is that you?”
  410. >Her shimmery purple mane swivels around as she turns to face you, “Anon? Hello darling! Come! Sit! Enjoy this generously comfortable evening air with me.”
  411. >You do as she says, except for the sitting part.
  412. >Little horse chairs are little.
  413. “Didn’t expect you as a bar drinker, especially not one that’s like… this.”
  414. >Rarity puts a hoof to her lips as she giggles, “I’m not usually, but tonight is a special occasion.”
  415. “Oh?”
  416. >She hums contentedly, “I finally finished my winter line, and a few days early I might add! So I’m out celebrating the best way I know how” she chirps.
  417. “Drinking alone in the patio of a bar?”
  418. >A blue glue surrounds your bottle of cider and it begins foaming over violently.
  419. “Aw, come on!” you growl as you move quickly to slurp it up.
  420. >”No darling, I’m window shopping” she says almost dreamily, as she gazes to the passing ponies beyond the gate.
  421. >Window shopping?
  422. “I don’t see any shops around on this side of the building Rara.”
  423. >”Oh do forgive me, I forget sometimes that you’re not a pony. I’m not shopping for any goods Anonymous… well, I suppose that depends on your definition of goods” she says with a wink.
  424. >Oooooohhhh.
  425. >She’s checking out some dudes.
  426. “Wouldn’t have thought you to be a creeper Rara.”
  427. >”Cree-?! I am nothing of the sort Anonymous! In case you’ve forgotten, I am a designer, there’s nothing wrong with… studying… form…”
  428. >She’s trailed off as Time Turner goes waltzing past.
  429. >Damn that brown stallion.
  430. >What is it about him that gets these mares all dumb?
  431. >Oh wait, you’ve got the perfect pers- uh, pony here to tell you.
  432. “Rarity?”
  433. >”Form! Oh, f-for uh, for my designs of course!”
  434. >Yeah, sure Rara.
  435. “Riiiight.”
  436. >She scoffs, “Well it’s not as though I have anything to prove to you Anon… but it is the truth. Trying to make it as a mare in a stallions world requires a constant eye for any hint of improvement.”
  437. >Huh, you hadn’t really thought about that.
  438. >Guess things are closer to your world than you thought.
  439. “Preach it sister” you respond holding out a bottle of cider.
  440. >She clinks her glass happily to your bottle and takes a few sips from her drink.
  441. “So… what is it about Time Turner that… “requires as constant eye”."
  442. >She goes on for a bit about what she likes.
  443. >A little too much about what she likes…
  444. >Dat generosity tho.
  445. “So what about that one.”
  446. >”Bulk? Oh heavens no… well perhaps after a particularly dry spell, and about twice as much alcohol as I’ve had already” she says with a titter.
  447. >This is fun.
  448. “Oh okay, what about uh… oh boom. Five o’clock.”
  449. >She swivels around to look for the pony you’ve pointed out.
  450. “No! Don’t make it obvious Rara! What’s wrong with you?”
  451. >She quickly snaps to look in another random direction.
  452. >The sudden movement combined with her tipsy state makes her wobble uncertainly in her seat.
  453. >Yeah, this is totally fun.
  454. >”Can I look now?
  455. “Oh, uh… looks like he’s gone.”
  456. >”Enough about me Anon, what of you?”
  457. “Me? What do you mean?”
  458. >”Well… you seem to have gotten along quite well here in Equestrian over the almost two months you’ve been here no?”
  459. >Pretty fair statement, you’ve made some great friends in such a short time.
  460. >”I know for instance that you and Spike are getting along quite heavenly… oh! Twilight told me not to tell anypony” she says with a drunken giggle.
  461. >Also a fair statement, Spike is totally like a little brother. Probably the most helpful pal you’ve ever had.
  462. >Twilight must be feeling a little jealous about how much time he spends with you if she didn’t want you to know what already obvious..
  463. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
  464. >Rarity squeaks, “Oh I just knew you two were great together! Certainly far better off than when- oh, well I don’t need to be dragging up an unnecessary past now do I?”
  465. >Past? What kind of p-
  466. >”Hi Rarity!” comes the boyish voice that can only belong to your best bro.
  467. >”A-Anon?! Uh… H-hi!”
  468. “Hey little dude! What’re you doing out so late?”
  469. >”Uhm… Tw-Twilight’s getting some books re- I mean! N-nothing! J-just strolling about at night because I felt like it” he says shakily.
  470. >You can see what’s probably ice cream dripping from his claws.
  471. >Little guy must be shivering after a snack.
  472. >”Anon? Shall I just bring you another?” Rarity asks, walking away to the door that leads inside.
  473. >She gives you a knowing look as she does so.
  474. >This has been a pretty good batch of cider, she must’ve realized you were actually enjoying it.
  475. >You nod and she happily trots into the bar proper to get the drinks.
  476. >You turn back to face Spike.
  477. “So… what’s new Spike?”
  478. >”Oh nothing… Just hanging around… in my big multi-roomed castle… on my own usually…”
  479. >You get it. He wants to hang out more.
  480. >”Spike! What are you doing here? I told you to wait for me over by the lamppost if your didn’t want to be in the bookstore” Twilight says as she trots over to where you two are.
  481. >Spike groans, “Twilight! I was only like a few steps away!”
  482. >”I don’t care how many steps it was. Do you know how dangerous it can be for a young dragon like you?”
  483. >He crosses his arms and blows little puffs of smoke out of his nostrils.
  484. >Big brother damage control to the rescue!
  485. “It’s alright Twilight, He only came over here because he saw me and Rarity sitting over here.”
  486. >Twilight seems to have only just realized you were there, “Ano-“ she sighs, “We’re sorry to have bothered you Anon.”
  487. “It’s really no both-“
  488. >She already pulling Spike along in her magical aura.
  489. >He grumpily stomps along, occasionally glancing back at you.
  490. >Little guy just can’t catch a break.
  491. >Maybe you’ll play catch or something with him.
  492. >Pinkie managed to do it by shoving her head into a glove, so he should have better luck with that claw of his.
  493. >”Where did Spike go?”
  494. “Twilight came and got him.”
  495. >She hums again, “No surprise there. I tell her as often that I can that Spike is old enough to have a little more control of his life, but I suppose Sweetie doesn’t exactly carry the same relationship with me as Spike does with Twilight.”
  496. >Now it’s your turn to hum.
  497. >You don’t totally understand how all these relationships work, so you’ve mostly just taken it all at face value.
  498. >You and Rarity clink bottles once more as you both enjoy what will probably be the last comfortable night air.
  499. >”Juss… I can… ho- hold on… I hve keys here some- *hic* somewhere…” Rarity mumbles.
  500. >You had to practically carry her all the way to her boutique, and now she’s stumbling around in her little satchel for the keys.
  501. >”Eureka!”
  502. >She’s holding up a spool of thread.
  503. “Good job Rara… now just let me…” you crouch down next to her and rummage through her little satchel yourself.
  504. >”Whoa filly, don’t think that just because I find you exotic means that you can make a move on me sister!”
  505. >She’s so fucking wasted.
  506. >You grab what feel like her keys and pull them out of the satchel.
  507. “Please Rara, I’m just getting your drunk ass home so I can get my regular ass home as well” you say as you unlock her door.
  508. >”W-well… th-thank you darling. You- You- *hic* You’re a good fr-friend” she slurs out.
  509. >You help her stumble her way up the stairs until she’s finally collapsed onto her bed.
  510. >You slip on a piece of cloth on her floor and find yourself face to face with the drunken mare… on her bed.
  511. >Her cheeks seem to redden even more, but that could just be the change in lighting, >“I wasn’t being… entirely sherious… e-earlier. I know what you musht have heard about me being a ‘fassionishta’… and it'sh not entirely wr-wrong…” she mumbles.
  512. >Rarity inhales deeply with her eyes closed.
  513. >Her tongue peeks out past her lips, and in a flash she licks the tip of your nose.
  514. >You jump back up to your feet in a hurry.
  515. >These fucking horses man, you can’t help but chuckle at the drunken pony wiggling around on the bed at your sudden absence.
  516. >She’s cute… but also very drunk.
  517. “You’re drunk Rara. I’m very flattered, but you’re totally drunk.”
  518. >You pat her on the head before taking your leave.
  519. >A cold chill has settled in now.
  520. >Which reminds you of how the weather normally is outside of earlier today.
  521. >Running of the leaves is in a few days.
  522. >If the weather is about as chilly as this then you’d better find your windbreaker stuff.
  523. >You ponder where in the hell it could be in the mess you call a bedroom as you head towards home.
  524.  
  525. >Running shoes tied snug.
  526. >Windbreaker jacket and pants combo so fresh the 80’s are likely to drag you back to the future.
  527. >Which would still be the present... you're dumb sometimes, and you make some dumb purchases at thrift stores
  528. >A cold breeze passes through the crowd eliciting shivers from many aside from you, this was certainly not a dumb purchase now.
  529. >”Nice outfit, gonna do some jazzercise after the run?”
  530. >Fucking Cheeril-
  531. >Oh wait, she looks serious.
  532. “Uh, no? I have... plans after.”
  533. >She looks a little disappointed but wishes you well on the run as she walks off to find her place.
  534. >Yeah, plans that involve laying the fuck down and sleeping.
  535. >Running sucks so goddamn much, but it’s like a community thing so you can’t exactly turn it down without looking like an asshole.
  536. >You glance around and find ponies with numbers that are in the range of the one on your chest.
  537. >Seems like you found th-
  538. >”Well howdy pardner!”
  539. >You glance left and right before remembering to look down, still not used to that yet.
  540. >Applejack is beaming up at you, “Seems like we got starting positions right next to each other” she says while pointing to your chest.
  541. >Huh, her number is one lower than yours.
  542. “Neat! Oh uh, just so you know. I’m absolutely terrible at running so I don’t expect to see you for very long after they blow the whistle.”
  543. >Applejack slugs your leg, which you brush off like it was nothing.
  544. >Certainly don’t bite your lip and hold back tears from the force of that little pony’s punch, no siree.
  545. >”I’m positive you’ll do just fine there sugarcube, ain’t like ya exempted like a lot o’ colts and fillies did after all.”
  546. >Well then… now you know what to do for next year, if you’re here that long anyway.
  547. >”-Just don’t wanna get all sweaty and gross” Applejack says with a deep mocking voice, “Psh, colts don’t know a thing 'bout a hard sweat what with how easy they got it…” she grumbles.
  548. >Twilight, who happens to be coordinating this whole thing, comes floating by to signal the runners to get into a ready position.
  549. >You and Applejack both nod as she passes.
  550. >”Y’all know what I’m talking about right Anon?”
  551. >Well, neither of you have some sweet wings or access to magic…
  552. “Oh yeah, they have no idea what it’s like.”
  553. >You can hear Twilight giving a speech about the history and importance of the running of the leaves.
  554. >”Say, why’re y’all wearin’ all that noisy clothes? Tryin’ ta get somepony’s attention?” Applejack asks, already bored of Twilight’s speech.
  555. >You glance down to Applejack when Twilight reaches “droning on and on” territory in her speech.
  556. “This works kind of like your fur actually. Let’s me keep comfy in face of the chilly wind."
  557. >You shift weight from one foot to the other as Twilight continues droning.
  558. >"-Written by a responsible single mother by the way-"
  559. >Jesus, is it like this every year?
  560. >"Look at that drink o' water Anon" Applejack says while nudging you.
  561. >She must have been pointing out Jeff Letrotski.
  562. >You find yourself brushing some fur that got stuck to your jacket as you see what she was on about.
  563. >Oh, he's trotting nearby offering "water or whatever" to anyone who needs it.
  564. "Jeff!"
  565. >No wait, should you be drinking water before going on a long run? or is it during?
  566. >"Wuzzat? You call my name man?" Jeff says as he glances back to you.
  567. "Oh uh, I did but... nevermind, I'm good."
  568. >"Cool man, cool."
  569. >Such a cool dude, didn't even bother him that you changed your mind.
  570. >"Mmhmm."
  571. >You look down at the orange shit eating grin that's looking up at you.
  572. "What? Did you want-"
  573. >"No no! Don't y'all worry 'bout me. I'm cool MAN" she says with a smug tone.
  574. >Oh sure, she's going to break your balls for being an indecisive bitch.
  575. >You shove her playfully and she nudges you back, "Just bustin' your bean there Non. I understand, fella's got a nice beard eh?"
  576. >He does have a nice beard, you find yourself nodding in agreement before having your attention drawn elsewhere.
  577. >"Oh come on Twilight! You're embarrassing me! Just GO!" Spike shouts and follows it with a pillar of fire into the sky.
  578. >Is that the start?
  579. >Aw shit, there's little horses stampeding all around you!
  580. >Run nigga!
  581. >Channeling your ancestral hunters that you hope were the same as modern day Kenyans, you spring into a steady speed.
  582. >Huh, this isn't too bad actually.
  583. >Hearing the whoosh of leaves that trail around you is pretty sweet.
  584. >And thankfully your lazy ass isn't in last place.
  585. >Significantly longer leg stride too stronk.
  586. >Little pone legs have to pump like three times as hard to match you.
  587. >Hell yeah!
  588. >This is fucking awesome!
  589.  
  590. >This... is not... awesome.
  591. >Fucking hell are you tired, even your thoughts sound winded.
  592. >"C'mon now Anon... y'all a fuckin' mare or what?" Applejack calls back between gasps.
  593. >This bitch calling you a bitch?
  594. >...Bitch.
  595. >She's just as winded as you are, and only a little further ahead.
  596. >Sure maybe you two raced a little as this went on, but it was all Rainbow's fault.
  597. >She goaded you all into a race between the three of you.
  598. >Then she got a "sudden cramp"" after she headbutted you.
  599. >Like literally.
  600. >Her head, your butt.
  601. >Maybe laughing about it wasn't the best idea, but it was really funny watching her go red in the face from embarrassment.
  602. >That left just you and AJ to maintain the lead the three of you gained.
  603. >She's falling back though.
  604. >The other racers are all catching up to you two.
  605. >Wow, guess "leg strength being more of a girl thing" is still the same here, it's like a wave of mares just behind you both.
  606. >Applejack has fallen just behind you, she's so tired that she's running with her eyes closed.
  607. >Gotta admire that dedication.
  608. >Also gotta remove this damn jacket, you're sweating up a storm under it.
  609. >The chilly air might keep you from passing out long enough to finish the race too.
  610. >With the steadiness of Michael J. Fox you eventually manage to unzip your stupid, yet effective, windbreaker jacket.
  611. >You say effective because sweet Christmas is there ever a cold wind.
  612. >Guess your face just got used to it as the race went on, either way it feels pretty damn good.
  613. >You can hear deep whiffs and sighs from the runners just behind you.
  614. >Uh oh, did you forget deodorant toda-
  615. >"Oof! Huh?! Thought I smelled..."
  616. >Applejack is blinking rapidly as if to regain focus.
  617. "Sorry AJ, that's probably me, I f-"
  618. >"Whoo-whee Non! Y'all are some kinda animal ain'tcha? Getting one in before a run, and then bein' on the fast track to fir- second?" Applejack says with a toothy grin.
  619. >Getting one in?
  620. >Oh, maybe she means the little jog you did to make sure you wouldn't fall flat on your face during the actual Running of the Leaves.
  621. >Didn't think anyone was paying attention.
  622. >AS you've learned today these little ponies seem to have shit stamina, guess running before a bigger run would be kind of impressive.
  623. >Don't know that you can manage to keep your lead though, those other ponies are gaini-
  624. *WHUMP*
  625. >No wait, they all kind of ran into each other somehow.
  626. >Really hope it's not your B.O. that made one of them faint or something.
  627. >Not like you're going to go back to check anyway, this could be the first time you ever win something athletic in your life!
  628.  
  629. "Aah!"
  630. >"Oh quit your belly achin' Anon. Y'all ain't got nothing I ain't familiar with, and I know that can't have hurt too much."
  631. >You shift the bag of ice Fruitfanny dropped on your crotch over some.
  632. >"No no, Y'all are gonna want to get that ice bag right between your thighs. S'the only way to buck that tree before the apples overripen, trust me or you'll be hurtin' somethin' fierce tomorrow."
  633. >She's got to run out of those contryisms sometime right? That one was a bit of a stretch.
  634. >Still though, she probably knows more about this than you do...
  635. >You hiss as the bag presses right up against your boys, very quickly turning them into girls as they shrink up against you.
  636. >Applejack curls up on your floor and tightens one of the straps on her hindleg to make sure her icebag doesn't slip either.
  637. >Her first place medal catches your ceiling light and blinds you for a second.
  638. >Stupid appulhoers.
  639. >Stupid second place medal around your neck.
  640. >Could've just stayed at home and played on your com-
  641. "Oh! Hey Applejack remember that farm calculation thing I was telling you about?"
  642. >"That Excellence thing?"
  643. "Excel. While you're here, lemme show you a rough draft of what I was talking about.
  644. >You guide her through a brief explanation of what it is you might be able to do for Sweet Apple Acres.
  645. >"So y'all are saying that this "Access" thing could keep track of our sales?"
  646. "Excel. And way more than that actually, but I think to start with I can set up something for just your sales, yes. Maybe even wire some commands to my dance pads so you guys can use it without me."
  647. >"Shoot Anon, if this does what you're sayin' it does it sure would be a grand help. Mac's the one what handles the finances, and y'all know how guys can be."
  648. >You glance around your apartment, video games, toys, and all other kinds of useless shit can be easily spotted.
  649. "Oh yeah, don't I know it."
  650. >"Sound's good to me pardner, we'll get to talkin' more just before winter wrap up."
  651. >Applejack makes a shaky stand and walks towards your door, "I think I've rested enough to make it home, thanks for helpin' the champ get back on her hooves Non" Applejack goads.
  652. "Yeah yeah..."
  653. >"Seriously, I appreciate the offer to help Anon. Y'all can come on over to my farm anytime, I'll let ya fuck my brother."
  654. >She shuts the door behind her, and you can her laugh beyond the door as she heads for her family's farm.
  655. >...Did she just call you a faggot?
  656.  
  657. >"I know I don't have to tell you Anon, but please do be careful."
  658. "Sure thing Fluttershy!"
  659. >Her eyes go wide for a moment and she presses a hoof to her lips, "Shh!"
  660. >Whoops, shit.
  661. "Sorry" you whisper.
  662. >She returns back to her usual caring smile and nods.
  663. >When your friend asks you for help checking on the hibernating critters, you probably shouldn't be shouting.
  664. >Fluttershy floats around the snow covered field and you tip toe along right behind her.
  665. >She lowers down and puts an ear to the snow.
  666. >Her long pink mane drapes over everything, getting slightly damp and picking up bits of grass and the like in it.
  667. >"Okay Anon, I've found one here."
  668. >You nod and tip toe closer.
  669. >She floats up once she satisfied you've got the right spot and lets you kneel down over it.
  670. >Very carefully you dig up the snow with your mittens until you reach the earth beneath the cold white blanket.
  671. >You grasp the bite mark ridden handle of the little shovel Fluttershy lent you.
  672. >Little pile after little pile of dirt, you scoop out until...
  673. >"Oh, there, you can stop there Anon."
  674. >You see the makings of a small burrow in the hole you've made.
  675. >Using the very edge of the shovel, you expose the borrow and lean back so Fluttershy can inspect it.
  676. >She looks at you hesitantly for a moment.
  677. >You give her a "well? Aren't you checking?" look.
  678. >She seems to suddenly remember what it is she's supposed to be doing and floats down in front of you.
  679. >Fluttershy pokes her head lower and lower into the hole, but in order to do so she has to lean further and further back towards you.
  680. >Her wing brushes up against your face, causing her to tense up in what you can only assume is fear as she is apt to do sometimes.
  681. >Before she can fall face down into the burrow, you catch her lower half and hold her up against your chest.
  682. >Her tail drapes over your back, tickling the left side of your neck slightly.
  683. >She lets out a small squeak, but otherwise makes no other actions.
  684. "Seems like you're in a good spot to peek into the burrow eh? Don't worry Fluttershy, I've got you here."
  685. >"O-okay Anon, I'll only be a m-m-moment."
  686. >She stretches down to get a good look into the hole while you support her.
  687. >"Oh, the poor dears didn't make a very good burrow this year. I thought I could hear them shivering from up above."
  688. >She rises up out of the little hole you've made and buries her face into the small satchel that's sitting next to you.
  689. >From the bag Fluttershy retrieves a tiny blanket that's got many tinier hedgehog outlines on it.
  690. >She lowers herself back down into the hole and carefully puts the tip of her muzzle, which holds the blanket, into the burrow.
  691. >You can feel her weight shift around some in your arms before she pulls her head back out of the hole and sighs contentedly.
  692. >"There, now you little pokey pals can be nice and comfy for the rest of winter."
  693. >When she asked you to hang out today, this wasn't exactly what you had in mind, but helping her do this stuff is actually really rewarding.
  694. >"How I wish I could be as covered as you all are... wrapped in her stro-"
  695. >Fluttershy tenses up again before flaring her wings out.
  696. >She bats you in the face with her right wing, causing you to yelp more out of being startled than pain.
  697. >"Oh my goodness Anon!" she whispers forcefully, "I was so focused on the critters that I completely forgot you were there, are you okay?" she asks while searching through the satchels frantically.
  698. >She keeps dabbing a soft cloth at your face with her hoof before you can manage any kind of response.
  699. "I'm goo-, hey!" you catch her hoof and hold it away, "I'm good Fluttershy, you were the one to startle me this time is all."
  700. >Her eyes lock on to your hand that's grasping her napkin covered hoof.
  701. >There seems to be a small speck of blood on the napkin.
  702. >She looks to be on the verge of tears now, "Oh, how terrible of me... I even invited you out today and this is how I treat my dear friend."
  703. >You sigh and shake your head.
  704. >It never takes much to get her going, you can't even feel any blood trying to make it's way out of our nose.
  705. >You take the napkin off her hoof and use it to dab just under her eyes now.
  706. "C'mon, I told you I'm okay didn't I? Look at me, don't I look okay?" you ask while putting on your winningest smile.
  707. >Fluttershy's reduced to quiet sniffles as she looks at you.
  708. >Her sea green eyes fix upon your form for a moment and a small smile forms on her lips, "Well... honestly I think you look better than okay..." she mumbles quietly.
  709. >D'aww, this mare.
  710. >Too kind for her own good.
  711. >Well, way too kind for Earth for sure. Probably too kind for this marshmallow pone world as well.
  712. >You pet her mane, and pick out a few bits of grass and pine and whatnot while you're at it.
  713. "So, should we move on to the next spot? My knees are starting to get cold."
  714. >She glances down at your legs for a moment, "Oh, yes of course. We still have a few more spots I want to check on before we go back for some nice tea."
  715. "Lead the way litle lady" you respond while pointing with the shovel.
  716. >Fluttershy giggles and pushes the shovel in a direction further to the right, "It's actually this way Anon."
  717. >She begins floating along and you follow close behind.
  718. >For a brief moment you thought she was addressing you again, but it seems like she lost her train of thought, all you heard her say was a quiet "We..."
  719.  
  720. “-So then everyone turns to him and says “CARLOS”.”
  721. >Fluttershy is giggling so much that she almost drops the silver serving tray in her hooves.
  722. >How she’s even holding it you’re not exactly sure, but thankfully she manages to set it down before putting a hoof to her lips to stifle her laughter.
  723. >”Oh Anon, you tell some of the funniest stories. Especially ones that have such a nice ending.”
  724. “Yeah well, he still doesn’t like bees to this day y’know.”
  725. >”Sounds to me like it was all just a simple misunderstanding, bees are some of the friendliest critters around.”
  726. “You say that about every critter around Fluttershy.”
  727. >She scrunches her muzzle slightly, “Well then I guess you won’t enjoy this tea I just made since it was made using help from some "less friendly critters”.”
  728. >You feign a broken heart as dramatically as possible before going limp in your chair.
  729. >The yellow pegasus giggles and you can hear the clatter of a tea cup being placed before you, ”Goodness me, I was being far too cruel to my dear friend, I certainly hope it’s not something that a fresh hot cup of tea can’t fix.”
  730. >You sit up in your chair suddenly.
  731. “Well, I suppose we can give it a shot eh?”
  732. >She nods once with a small giggle before sitting down in her chair across from you.
  733. >”I’ve made this tea a little bit different than some of the ones before it, I do hope you’ll like it.”
  734. >You nod and grab your cup as Fluttershy focuses on pouring her own cup.
  735. >”Oh, but please do be careful, I had to make this cup a little ho-“
  736. “Aah! Hothothot!”
  737. >”Anon! Oh I should’ve warned you first. I’m so sorry!”
  738. >You stick your tongue out and fan it with a flat hand while still trying to smile at a concerned Fluttershy.
  739. “Dough rorry Fluhherfy…”
  740. >You touch the burned tip of your tongue to the back of your hand and feel substantially less pain.
  741. “I’m alright, just impatient is all.”
  742. >She looks unconvinced, and in fact still very worried.
  743. >You try to play it off more by taking up a cookie instead.
  744. >She watches you bite into it and seems somewhat more relieved as a result.
  745. “Oh wow! These cookies are amazing Fluttershy!”
  746. >Her ears perk up for a moment before she shrinks behind her mane somewhat, “Oh, it’s nothing much really, Pinkie Pie was the one who helped me come up with them.”
  747. >Nothing much?!
  748. >You’d respond but you can’t seem to stop inhaling these cookies.
  749. >”They’re a very special recipe that lets you… a-and all of my friends be able to enjoy them without worrying about getting sick.”
  750. >You swallow what feels like, and may very well be, three mouthfuls of cookies at once before following that with a belly patting sigh.
  751. “Well that’s good. I am baffled by how many things you all manage to sneak hay into, especially since I never notice it until after I’ve already eaten it.”
  752. >You pick up your tea cup once more, and Fluttershy pretends to take a long sip of her tea so she can watch you.
  753. >Silly pony, such a bleeding heart she is.
  754. >You take an actual long sip before setting it back down on the saucer.
  755. “Mmm! This is some bomb-ass tea Fluttershy!”
  756. >She frowns slightly.
  757. “Oh. Uh, this is some… I really like it.”
  758. >Forgot about the swearing thing.
  759. >She shakes her head slowly dismissing your foul mouth, and continues sipping at her tea.
  760. >She fills you in on the goings on around town that she picks up while walking. Winona, and you nod along while focusing on not eating all those goddamn amazing cookies.
  761. >”S-so Hearts and Hooves day is coming up…”
  762. >Is that like some kind of fight club shit?
  763. >Wait no, don’t be a dumbass and think about it, this is like late-winterish.
  764. >Could this be?
  765. “So is this like Valentines day or something?”
  766. >”Valentines?”
  767. “Duh of course you don’t- uh… y’know there’s flowers and cards being given. A day to celebrate love, and couples and stuff.”
  768. >Her ears perk up suddenly, “C-couples?”
  769. “Yeah, is that not what it is?”
  770. >”Well yes, it’s just… y-you prefer being in a couple?” she asks while attempting to casually sip at her tea.
  771. “Yeah? Well, I guess it kind of depends on who you’re with, but for the most part It’s really nice… being able to care for a girl, and have a girl care for you. Y’know?”
  772. >You could’ve been more gender neutral about your explanation sure, but she got what you meant probably.
  773. >Fluttershy gasps and her cup slips from between her hooves and breaks against the table spilling what must be less hot, but still hot, tea all over herself.
  774. “Oh sh-oot! Are you okay?” you ask while jumping out of your chair.
  775. >”I do know!” she responds while jumping up into the air.
  776. “You know you’re okay?” you ask, pausing mid stride.
  777. >”No, I mean yes, I’m fine. What I mean is that I do know what you mean!”
  778. >Too many things going on at once, it's making your head hurt.
  779. >One thing at a time Non.
  780. >You grab a rag from her kitchen and run some cold water on one side of it.
  781. >Bringing it back to the tea area you kneel before the dazed mare.
  782. “Hold still for a second.”
  783. >You soak up the tea that spilled onto her coat with the dry side of the rag and then use the cool damp side to alleviate any burning.
  784. >She breathes in sharply when you first touch her with the cool side, but she relaxes into your touch shortly after.
  785. “Hmm, you don’t have very much fur on your chest do you?”
  786. >Pretty sure you’ve seen Rainbow rock some mad tuft during that month she broke her wing and couldn’t work.
  787. >You can feel her sigh in what you hope is relief.
  788. “But it’s so soft, I love it!” you muse aloud as you brush your fingers along her tuft once more to ensure you got every spot.
  789. >”Th-thank you Anon” she says, barely a mumble.
  790. “So what were we talking about, Arts and Shoes?” you ask while taking a seat next to Fluttershy rather than back where you were.
  791. >Too full of tea and cookies anyway.
  792. >”H-hearts and Hooves… I was asking you about it and you…”
  793. >She touches a wing to your shoulder.
  794. >You look into her face and see the same caring smile she usually wears, “You said something that can’t have been very easy to say and I’m very honored to hear it.”
  795. >Oh yeah... now that you’re thinking back on it, it is a bummer knowing that Valentine’s day is going to pass and you’ve got nobody to spend it with.
  796. >Back on Earth you had family at the least to hang out with on days like that.
  797. >What’ll you do now that you’re here?
  798. >A light pressure on your shoulder reminds you of the mare in front of you.
  799. “Well, it’s really easy to tell you about this kind of stuff Fluttershy, everything about you is so kind so I know you wouldn’t judge me.”
  800. >Rainbow might give you some shit about being single on this Hearts and Hooves day.
  801. >”Anon, I would never ever judge you. You can come to me for anything you ever need. I may not be as talented as Rarity, or as smart as Twilight, but I’ll do anything I can to help you, my dear friend.”
  802. >Aww man, she’s gonna make you cry.
  803. >You pull the little pegasus into your arms and give her the biggest hug you can muster.
  804. >She squeaks in surprise, but returns your hug regardless.
  805. >”Uhm… I th-think I know somepony who would love to spend hearts and hooves day with you.”
  806. >You break the hug and Fluttershy returns to her seat next to you.
  807. “You do?”
  808. >She nods hesitantly, “Mmhmm”
  809. >Her demeanor is leading you to question how seriously she means that, either that or she’s nervous because...
  810. “I dunno Fluttershy, I haven’t been around very long and well… look at me. I’m very different, and if Hearts and Hooves is anything like Valentines day is on Earth then it-“
  811. >”Anon, I am looking at you. Do you know what I see?”
  812. >Wow, some sudden determination in her eyes.
  813. >It’s so baffling all you can do is shake your head.
  814. >”I see a wonderful, friendly, kindhearted being, and It doesn’t matter one bit what you are, it’s who you are that matters the most. And don't let anypony tell you otherwise.”
  815. >Goddamn it.
  816. >The scent of her tea is making your eyes water.
  817. >”And I know just the perfect pony for you! She’s kind, so every pony says, and she’s very understanding, uhm… so I've heard…”
  818. >Her confidence seems to be shrinking away with each description.
  819. >”-A-and she’s a p-pegasus...”
  820. >Aww, does she mean hersel-
  821. >”HernameisFlitterandIthinkyou’dbothhavealotoffun.”
  822. >Oh.
  823. “Oh.”
  824. >Of course she really is just that nice Anon.
  825. >She wasn’t being extra nice to you, you dingus.
  826. “Uh, Flitter you said? That’s her name?”
  827. >The yellow pegasus sits still under cover of her pink mane for a moment.
  828. “Fluttershy?”
  829. >”Y-yes. Flitter is- th-that’s her name.”
  830. “Have I met her before? I don’t think I remember the name.”
  831. >”N-no, you haven’t met…”
  832. “So how do I-“
  833. >”I’ll write her a l-letter for you! T-Tell her all about how wonderful you are…” she stammers out.
  834. >Not what you were going to ask, but that does pretty much take care of any hangups you had about this.
  835. >You glance out the window and see the sun making its fast approach down.
  836. >Something you’re still not really used to.
  837. “Aww jeez, I’ve gotta head back home. Need to turn on my oven for a little while so my place is warm enough for me to sleep while snuggled up with some blankets."
  838. >Not having a heating unit travel with you to Equestria and also the loss of insulation really bites.
  839. >You thank Fluttershy for the company, and the tea, and the cookies, and for the Flitter offer one after the other while donning your outside gear.
  840. >She returns with quiet “You’re welcome”s.
  841. >She waves you goodbyes before slowly shutting her front door.
  842. >You really thought for a second that there was something there, but maybe it’s for the best that she wants to be friends.
  843. >Maybe you can do something for her since she’s going to go so far as to be your wingman… wingmare?
  844. >A cake maybe?
  845. >No, you can do better than that. Just gotta think of something...
  846.  
  847. “Dummy dummy dummy.”
  848. >Be Fluttershy.
  849. “Dummy.”
  850. >Maybe if you hit your head hard enough against your door you can forget this whole mess ever happened.
  851. >Anon was right here.
  852. >She came out to you.
  853. >Something you kind of suspected, but didn’t have the courage to bring up before.
  854. “Dummy.”
  855. >Just like you didn’t have it a moment ago.
  856. >You just had to say it.
  857. >”I like you.”
  858. >She could’ve been your special somepony for hearts and hooves.
  859. >And not only did you blow that chance, you literally offered to hoof her off to somepony else.
  860. “Dummy” you say aloud as you slide to be facedown with the floor.
  861. >Flitter would really only need to know “She’s a lesbian.”
  862. >She wouldn’t care about the fact that Anon’s an omnivore.
  863. >Everypony else overlooked Anon’s canine teeth, but it was one of the first things you noticed.
  864. >She’s an omnivore, and when asked about what kind of food she eats Anon responded by saying she eats fruits, grains, and veggies.
  865. >She didn’t lie about eating meat exactly, but instead had chosen to forgo something that’s almost necessary to her so everypony else would be more comfortable.
  866. >It’s like you giving up hay to live with a bunch of scarecrows.
  867. >It takes a very kind soul to give up something that major freely, you love hay and don’t know that even you could give it up like that.
  868. >No, Flitter would never understand what that means if you wrote it out.
  869. >The only thing she’d care about is…
  870. >”Oh thank you for letting me stay here tonight Fluttershy, it would be so cold if I went home alone. It’s a good thing that I’ve got you here to keep me nice and warm~”
  871. >”Oh you’re so warm right here… I just want t-“
  872. >A rapid series of thumps strike your shoulder.
  873. “Ouch!”
  874. >You tilt your head to see Angel crossing his arms at you.
  875. “Oh, I’m so sorry to worry you Angel bunny. I’m just feeling a little emotional right now…”
  876. >He rolls his eyes at you.
  877. >Angel hops over and tilts your head to face the clock in your living room.
  878. “Oh goodness, it’s almost dinnertime. I guess that is all you would be concerned with huh?”
  879. >Angel sighs and pets your mane gently.
  880. “Thank you Angel, I know that you’re just trying to distract me with work… I feel a little better already.”
  881. >He hops off towards the kitchen and you follow behind him.
  882. “Maybe some dinner will do me some good.”
  883.  
  884. >"Told you there was no way you could throw more snowballs than I can!"
  885. "I'm calling bullshit on that, no way in hell a pair of hooves can make a snowball faster than hands."
  886. >Rainbow looks up at you smugly, "Maybe they can't but when they're attached to me there isn't anything faster."
  887. >You roll your eyes as you go digging for your keys in your pocket.
  888. >Not exactly easy when you're wearing mittens.
  889. >Plus now your pockets are getting all cold and soggy.
  890. >Goddamn it.
  891. >You bite off the glove from your right hand and fish once more for your keys.
  892. >"Why do you even lock your door? What pony in their right mind would try anything on you."
  893. >You shrug as you pull out your keys.
  894. "Eh, it's a habit."
  895. >You unlock your front door and push it aside.
  896. >Rainbow shoves you hard into the doorway, "Make room for the reigning champ!"
  897. "One does not simply reign during a spontaneous snowball fight."
  898. >"Why are you holding your hand like that."
  899. "Sh-shut up" you respond while pocketing that hand.
  900. >"Anyway, I can totally reign. I won, you lost. That puts you under me, right where you belong..."
  901. >Competitive like always.
  902. >At least she's back to her old self again.
  903. >She's been pretty moody all winter, probably because of Tank, so it's nice to get a chance with ol-
  904. >"No wait! N-not that I meant..."
  905. >And there goes normal Rainbow.
  906. "Yeah yeah, I know what you meant. C'mon, I've got a whole bunch of dough and stuff from when Pinkie Pie tried teaching me how to bake a cake. Let's make a pizza, Champ" you respond by slugging her in the forearm.
  907. >She glances up at you and down to her arm before putting on the fakest smile you've ever seen, "Y-yeah, I'm feeling kinda hungry anyway."
  908. >Well, she's trying at least.
  909. >Oh man... fingers are feeling pretty numb.
  910. "Hey Dash? Wanna grab a shower before we get started?"
  911. >"Wh-what?! You m-mean-"
  912. "I'm losing feeling in my face, toes, and fingers yo. I need to warm up fast. You wanna get some hot water on too?"
  913. >"Uhm..."
  914. >Aw shit...
  915. >Your bathroom is a fucking mess.
  916. >Can't have a girl... horse, see all that!
  917. "Alright, well I'm gonna go shower up anyway, could lose a finger or something y'know? Once I'm done if you wanna grab one too then it'll be open for you."
  918.  
  919. >Be Rainbow Dash.
  920. >Anon's walking off towards her bathroom.
  921. >"I'm so glad Winter Wrap Up is tomorrow. Life sucks without centralized heat..."
  922. >Damn it Rainbow!
  923. >You're lucky Anon's way too alpha to have picked up on what you were saying.
  924. >Why in Equestria would she ask you to shower with her.
  925. >Why did you even entertain that thought?
  926. >Hot water running over your bodies.
  927. >Seeing the light red color on her face fade to a healthy green as the steam surrounds you both...
  928. >NO!
  929. >You.
  930. >Are not.
  931. >A lesbian!
  932. >N-not that there's anything wrong with them.
  933. >Fluttershy is one of your best friends after all, has been since flight school.
  934. >Its just...
  935. >You've seen what Fluttershy's been through first hoof.
  936. >It's not an easy lifestyle...
  937. >A-and it's not your lifestyle.
  938. >You're sure of it!
  939. >...Oh who are you kidding Rainbow?
  940. >Every snowball fight.
  941. >Hot cocoa sipping.
  942. >Video gaming by the oven.
  943. >Anytime you're around her it's like a little war in your head.
  944. >With support on both sides coming from places like your heart and... even your loins too.
  945. >You wish Tank was around right now.
  946. >The little guy always had a way of making you slowdown and let you think things through.
  947. >Without him...
  948. >"Oi! I'm done in the shower!" Anon calls from down the hall.
  949. >You can hear her bedroom door open and shut.
  950. >...Your nose is feeling a little numb.
  951. >The warm steam that comes from her bathroom is relieving in so many ways.
  952. >Which now has you tense in others.
  953. >You step cautiously into the room.
  954. >A very enticing scent surrounds you.
  955. >It's strange.
  956. >Almost natural, but fake?
  957. >The smell is all around you now, carried through the thick foggy air.
  958. >Your body is getting hotter.
  959. >Much hotter than you'd feel from this air on its own.
  960. >Her bathtub is strange, there's some kind of curtain around it.
  961. >You push the curtain with a hoof, wings are too stiff to-
  962. >F-from the cold!
  963. >The warm scent hit you like a soothing wave once you've moved the curtain aside.
  964. >As if in a trance you step into the tub.
  965. >Warm soapy water is still clinging on at the bottom.
  966. >You shake your head vigorously to try clearing the fog in there that seems thicker than the fog you're in right now.
  967. >Bathe Rainbow, you're here to bathe.
  968. >You turn the handle that says hot with your mouth.
  969. >Hot water soothes the aches you didn't realize you had in your ankles as you run them under the stream.
  970. >You look around for the plug to fill the tub but can't find one anywhere.
  971. >Did Anon say she was taking a bath?
  972. >You're pretty sure she said something about a shower, but you don't see any clouds in he-
  973. >There's some kind of hose thing up above.
  974. >It's like a really fancy metal hose thing.
  975. >You follow the hose down to see it go into the wall just above your head.
  976. >There's some kind of metal thing on the faucet.
  977. >Looks like you can push it?
  978. >No, it doesn't push.
  979. >Maybe you ca-
  980. "Aah!"
  981. >The water stopped flowing, and you heard some kind of gurgling noise, but before you could do anything a blast of hot water sprayed down onto your back.
  982. >Almost slipped on the soapy bottom from the surprise.
  983. >The hot water is running all down your body, covering you in a blanket of warmth.
  984. >If you move around some, you can feel it hit harder on certain spots.
  985. >The steamy air brings Anon's scent back up into your mind.
  986. >You turn around in the tub and spread your wings.
  987. >If you stand just right the sprayer thing really digs into your feathers.
  988. >It's almost like that time Anon tackled you during a game of hoofball and sprained your wing.
  989. >Her firm, yet gentle hands were kneading your wing.
  990. >If you close your eyes and breathe deep, its almost like she's...
  991. >You find yourself hovering right up next to the sprayer thing.
  992. >If it has a tube part like a hose then maybe...
  993. >You turn and let the water spray directly onto your chest.
  994. >The feeling is amazing!
  995. >Like getting hot wet nuzzles from a snugly colt.
  996. >You reach out of instinct and knock the sprayer thing loose.
  997. >It falls forwards into your forearms, getting water all over Anon's floor.
  998. >You hug it close to yourself in an effort to not soak everything in her bathroom.
  999. >The powerful stream is now hitting much lower on your body.
  1000. >You take in a sharp breath as your whole body tenses from the new sensation.
  1001. >You land on your back in the tub.
  1002. >Thankfully your head took most of that...
  1003. >Slightly dazed, you can feel heat of all kinds surrounding you.
  1004. >Anon's otherworldy scent is the strongest down here on your back.
  1005. >Hot water is running down your belly, flowing over your nethers and down your tail.
  1006. >You gasp lightly as you position the sprayer with all four of your legs.
  1007. >And you bite your lip when it begins spraying in just the right spot.
  1008. >Your eyes are shut tight as you let the sensation overwhelm you.
  1009. >It's almost like Anon's...
  1010. >Her warm hands are running all down your body.
  1011. >Your moisture leaking out, soaking into your tail.
  1012. >Her scent is all over you.
  1013. >And you could just about...
  1014. "Naagh!"
  1015. >Your breathing is ragged.
  1016. >Your head is swimming in the haze that follows an orgasm.
  1017. >As it begins to fade, something else decides to jump into the pool that is your head.
  1018. >Shame.
  1019. >Confusion.
  1020. >Relief.
  1021. >Fear.
  1022. "No..."
  1023. >Satisfacti-
  1024. >"NO! I can't be!... I-I'm not!..."
  1025. >Your eyes are blurring with tears.
  1026. >Don't cry, not like some little colt.
  1027. >Not here.
  1028. >Not now...
  1029. >Please.
  1030.  
  1031. >You knock loudly on the door to your bathroom.
  1032. >You hear some water sounds that didn't seem normal, followed by a thump and then eventually some kind of scream.
  1033. "Rainbow? Are you alright?" you ask after knocking again.
  1034. >There's no response.
  1035. >You press you ear to the door and hear what sounds like sobbing coming over the sound of a running shower.
  1036. >Aw shit, what if she hurt herself.
  1037. "Hey! If you're not hurt please open the door. I want to come inside Rainbow Dash."
  1038. >More sobbing.
  1039. "Fuck."
  1040. >You use the little key apartments always leave above the door frames to unlock it.
  1041. >With one confidence boosting sigh you push open the door.
  1042. >Rainbow is trying to hide her crying by cupping an elbow over her mouth.
  1043. >There's fucking water everywhere.
  1044. >Your fancy removable shower head is laying on the opposite end of the tub from where Rainbow is huddled up.
  1045. >Moving quickly you turn the water off and turn to face Rainbow.
  1046.  
  1047. >"Should've figured..."
  1048. >She walks out of the bathroom.
  1049. >You didn't even have the courage to look her in the eyes.
  1050. >How could you?
  1051. >She must be disgusted with you.
  1052. >You're disgusted with you.
  1053. >What were you thinking Rainbow?
  1054. >Why wou-
  1055. >Your blurry vision is further obscured as a white haze settles over you.
  1056. >You can feel firm pressure just under your armpits.
  1057. >In an instant you're raised up.
  1058. >It's a towel.
  1059. >Anon put a towel around you and took you out of her tub.
  1060. >Your rearlegs touch uneven ground.
  1061. >Ground that moves and shifts.
  1062. >Her lap?
  1063. >She's put you in... in her lap?
  1064. >"Shh, it's alright."
  1065. >The towel is pressed in closer to you as her arms wrap around yours.
  1066. >You tried holding it in, hoping to stop it.
  1067. >Thought maybe, you could leave the bathroom and fly home once you could see past the tears and forever hide your shame.
  1068. >Thought she would call you a dyke and throw you out if she did find out.
  1069. >Everypony would find out, and you reputation would be ruined.
  1070. >But here she is.
  1071. >Holding you close enough to hear her heartbeat.
  1072. >Does she really care about you this much?
  1073. >Silently, she holds you as you let out everything.
  1074. >You tried to explain yourself, but it all came out as incoherent wails.
  1075. >You gave up and just rode through all your pent up emotions.
  1076. >She never once said anything aside from the first time.
  1077. >Just held you close.
  1078. >Eventually, you're not sure for how long, you were reduced to quiet sniffles.
  1079. >"So, what do you want on your half of the pizza?"
  1080. "Wh-what?"
  1081. >"Pizza, remember? We were going to make some... maybe play vidya? You still want some right?"
  1082. >She's serious?
  1083. >You just-
  1084. >And she's gong to just let it go?
  1085. "H-haycon a-and p-peppers?"
  1086. >You can feel some gentle pats on your back, "You've got some shit taste, Champ" she goads.
  1087. >You can't help but smile, even if it's just a small one.
  1088. >"Alright, I'll go flatten the dough and stuff. You... do whatever you gotta do okay?"
  1089. >Anon sets you down on the cold wet floor, still bundled up in the towel.
  1090. >She rises and brushes some water off of her pants, "Psh, it'll dry up."
  1091. "W-wait! You're not gonna tell anypony about this r-right?"
  1092. >It feels like an eternity passes since the question escapes your lips.
  1093. >Anon's face mouth shifts to a tooth grin, "What? You expect me NOT to tell everyone that you fell and broke your ass in my bathroom? Sorry girl, can't promise I won't."
  1094. >"Don't worry Dash, this stays between us!" she calls out from somewhere outside the bathroom.
  1095.  
  1096. >Man, that was rough.
  1097. >Like dad always said, if a girl's crying for reasons that you can't even fathom just sit with her and offer her food when it seems like she's run empty.
  1098. >Solid advice pop, even works on girl sentient horse aliens.
  1099. >Really sucks about your bathroom though, you had just cleaned it.
  1100. >Well, no need to make Rainbow feel any worse than she already is.
  1101. >Winter Wrap Up is tomorrow, she's probably just been feeling emotional about her tortoise and stuff.
  1102. >Maybe one last casual night is just what she needs.
  1103. >She seemed to be into it, for now at least.
  1104. >Let's see how the rest of the night goes after pizza.
  1105.  
  1106. "You don’t have to do this."
  1107. >Your mouth hovers over the handle.
  1108. “You’re straight, as an arrow Dash. What happened earlier was…”
  1109. >Shameful?
  1110. >Wrong?
  1111. >Right?
  1112. >No.
  1113. >It was just an early flare of your estrus.
  1114. >Spring is literally tomorrow, and yours always comes early.
  1115. >You’ve been hitting record speeds for the reserves since last year.
  1116. >Maybe you’re hitting a new record speed this year.
  1117. >That’s all that was.
  1118. >You can accept that and just go back to the couch Rainbow.
  1119. >After, that, it was just a fun night with your best sis.
  1120. >Why risk changing that?
  1121. >A shaky sigh escapes your lips.
  1122. >You turn the handle to Anon’s bedroom and slowly open her door.
  1123. >It’s a complete mess in here.
  1124. >Not like you expected otherwise, she was a pretty messy mare.
  1125. >Like you’re one to think that, if you didn’t just let junk you don’t care about sink. through your floor, your room would probably look like hers.
  1126. >She’s laying there, sound asleep in her bed.
  1127. >The feeling in your gut is enough to make you sick.
  1128. >Trespassing into your sis’ room.
  1129. >What you’re thinking about doing.
  1130. >What might happen after.
  1131. >Knowing for sure.
  1132. >You take in a deep breath and hold it as you tip-hoof closer to her bed.
  1133. >Anon’s sleeping on her back, makes this a lot easier.
  1134. >Listen to yourself, it’s like you already decided you’re doing this.
  1135. >…But now that you’re here.
  1136. >And she’s right there…
  1137. >You can smell a mix of Anon’s scent and male musk.
  1138. >She's a total alpha.
  1139. >You’ve seen her around town, walking up to any male and talking to them like it was nothing.
  1140. >Going by how strong the smell is, she’s probably rutting colts almost everynight.
  1141. >You can hear the ruffling sound of your wings as they twitch uncomfortably, trying to spread.
  1142. >You swallow nervously.
  1143. “Psst, Anon” you whisper.
  1144. >She doesn’t even react.
  1145. >Just one peck Rainbow, that’s all you have to do.
  1146. >Then you can know for sure.
  1147. >You lean down and hover over Anon’s face.
  1148. >Her lips quiver slightly when she’s breathing out.
  1149. >Just go for it Rainbow, don’t just hover over her.
  1150. >Just kiss her once, and then you’ll be grossed out.
  1151. >You’ll have a solid answer.
  1152. >It won’t be awkward when you’re hanging out with your best sis anymore.
  1153. >Yeah, this is what you have to do.
  1154. >Wow, her breath feels really nice.
  1155. >A-and she’s breathing in your breath too.
  1156. >Her face looks so…
  1157. >Damn it!
  1158. >You stop debating and close the gap.
  1159. >Her lips are pressed completely, but gently on yours.
  1160. >Yup, this is terrible!
  1161. >Just like you thought.
  1162. >Really really terrible.
  1163. >SO terrible.
  1164. >Like some kind of chariot accident, it’s so terrible that you can’t pull away.
  1165. >You can feel your lip quiver as the lie starts falling apart.
  1166. >Oh no…
  1167. >No no no.
  1168. >Your heart won’t slow down.
  1169. >Her lips taste so good.
  1170. >The warm air coming from her nose is the most wonderful feeling.
  1171. >What will your parents think?
  1172. >Dad loves you, that won’t change right?
  1173. >But… he’s always asking about you getting a herd.
  1174. >Mom…
  1175. >Your eyes are burning with the same fire that rising in your chest.
  1176. >What’ll your friends think?
  1177. >Twilight and the others will accept you, just like they do Fluttershy.
  1178. >But everypony else in town?
  1179. >The Wonderbolts might kick you out!
  1180. >Just break the kiss Dash!
  1181. >Tell nopony about this.
  1182. >Bury it deep down forever.
  1183. >But you can’t do that, can you?
  1184. >You wouldn’t be loyal to yourself if you did that.
  1185. >Your sobs come out quietly.
  1186. >Involuntary breaths of air come out causing your lips to shift on Anon’s.
  1187. >They shift enough that you can finally muster the willpower to break the kiss.
  1188. >This is what you were most afraid of.
  1189. >How is Anon going to react when yo-
  1190. >”Mm? Wha’re you doin’ hrr?”
  1191. >Your breath catches in your throat as you see Anon sitting up next to you, wiping your tears from her tired face.
  1192. “An-An-An-An” is all you manage to muster.
  1193. >”Hey, hey c’mere. Don’t- s’alright” she mumbles as she reaches out to grab you.
  1194. >You go completely limp the moment her hands touch your barrel.
  1195. >She half lifts half drags you up onto the bed and lays you down on top of her.
  1196. >”S’okay, sleep i'off, feel…”
  1197. >She’s asleep again.
  1198. >Probably thinks you’re one of the colts she bedded.
  1199. >Might as well be, the dyke that you are.
  1200. >Both of her hands, one on your shoulder and the other resting on your barrel, squeeze you gently.
  1201. >You find yourself nuzzling her warm chest as a result.
  1202. >This wasn’t the answer you wanted.
  1203. >Sweet Celestia was it not what you wanted.
  1204. >Anon’s chest rises and falls in line with her steady breaths.
  1205. >Your forearms slide up her chest and rest limply around her neck.
  1206. >This is the most comfortable you’ve felt since she arrived here.
  1207.  
  1208. >You yawn deeply as the waking world begins coming into view.
  1209. >Hazy memories of the night before start clearing up.
  1210. >Very late last night in particular comes first.
  1211. >You pat mound in your chest.
  1212. “Good morning Rainbow… Fluff?”
  1213. >Blanket?
  1214. >Did you bundle up a blanket overnight?
  1215. “Guess that thing with Rainbow crying again was just a dream.”
  1216. >You glance over at the clock on your wall.
  1217. >Twilight said you were all supposed to meet early for Winter Wrap Up.
  1218. >Should probably get up and make breakfast or something.
  1219. >Check on Rainbow while you’re at it.
  1220. >Something about that dream keeps nagging at you, but yesterday was a "suddenly emotional" kind of night so it’s probably run off from that.
  1221. >You clap a hand over your mouth to stifle the yelp as you experience the worst pain known to mankind.
  1222. >Stepping on a lego piece barefooted.
  1223. >You hiss as you hop to your door and eventually feel comfortable enough to walk into the living room.
  1224. “Morning Be- tch?”
  1225. >Your greeting died partway when you realized there was none to greet.
  1226. >A quick glance to the mess in the kitchen confirms that there was indeed a pizza night last night.
  1227. >Guess she had to get an early start.
  1228. >Something about birds if you remember right.
  1229. >Well, she did seem better as last night went on so maybe it’s a good thing that she’s out and about.
  1230. >Spring means she gets her little buddy back after all.
  1231. >You’ll catch up with her later today anyway, probably.
  1232. >Your stomach growls and you consider making a mega-omelete.
  1233. >Flutter shy gave you like a ton of eggs when you told her that the date with Flitter didn’t go very well.
  1234. >Why she gave them to you in a bowl is beyond you, but now eggs have been part of almost every meal just to get through them all.
  1235. >It can be an annoying moral of yours, but you hate wasting food.
  1236. >So you’ve hunkered down and plan to eat all the eggs.
  1237.  
  1238. >”While I understand that we’re doin’ this for Anon’s benefit, and for the holiday an all, but-“ Applejack grunts while kicking at the water, “I just don’t see the appeal to clothes. Gets in th’ way if’n you ask me.”
  1239. >You don’t even try hiding the frown on your face.
  1240. “Perhaps if somepony hadn’t spent most of their winter eating and then avoided coming in for a measurement, then somepony else wouldn’t have had to fudge the numbers a little.”
  1241. >Applejack is about to respond but is cut off by Twilight, “I think Rarity might have a point Applejack, I’ll admit it’s still a little odd to wear something while swimming, but it actually feels pretty comfy.”
  1242. >”Yeah yeah! My tushie’s all mushy inside this “onepiece” but it sure is comfy!” Pinkie chirps.
  1243. >You have a feeling of satisfaction welling up in your chest.
  1244. >Most of the clothing you design is for the endless desires of colts everywhere, so much that you couldn’t even recall the last time you made clothing for any females, much less your friends.
  1245. >It feels good knowing that, for most, you did a good job.
  1246. >”Say don’t ya think my swim suit looks good Dashie?”
  1247. >”Wh-what’re you askin’ me for?! I don’t know!” Rainbow practically growls.
  1248. “Are you alright darling? Perhaps you’ve been out in the sun a little too much?”
  1249. >She looks red in the face, and certainly a bit off.
  1250. >Fluttershy paddles over to her and whispers something into her ear.
  1251. >Rainbow nods slowly before responding to you, ”No, I’m fine j-just… M-maybe I should get under the shade” she mumbles as she lazily paddles to the shaded part of the lake.
  1252. “Girls, we did tell Anonymous to meet us at noon did we not? Perhaps we should head back to Sweet Apple Acres, it is quite hot outside.”
  1253. >”Oh, if you’re worried about Rainbow Dash you don’t have to be. She’s just needs a little space right now” Fluttershy responds in a knowing tone.
  1254. >This filly knows something, but if she’s not divulging and Rainbow seems a little better under the shade then you won’t press further, for now.
  1255. >”Do you think Nonny’ll be surprised? It took all of my effort not to say anything about Opposite Day” Pinkie exclaims.
  1256. >”Anonymous has been very receptive to all of our holidays so far, I don’t see why this should be any different” Twilight responds astutely.
  1257. “While I do agree that our resident alien has been very adaptive to our world, I don’t believe we’ve ever asking this of our friend before.”
  1258. >”Psh, ain’t like bein’ nude’s all that difficult s’how we are every other day.”
  1259. >Truthfully, you wouldn’t mind getting a good look at her form.
  1260. >You recall your little faux-pas when Anonymous had to walk you home.
  1261. >That, and her sense of style is something so foreign to you, and yet enrapturing.
  1262. >Most of her outfits don’t seem to match, but surely it’s only because of some alien standard whose code you have yet to crack.
  1263. >Pinkie giggles, “I just want to see Anon’s winky!"
  1264. >”P-Pinkie Pie! You can’t just talk about Anon like that, and don’t call it a w-w- that. You could at least be respectful” Fluttershy scolds with a light scarlet on her face.
  1265. >Oh my, how have you not noticed this bef-
  1266. >”But why not he has a-"
  1267. >Pinkie is cut off by a familiar voice, ”Hello Ladies!”
  1268.  
  1269. >Be Anon.
  1270. >Your friends all invited you to go swimming down by Applejack’s farm.
  1271. >And then your lazy ass woke up hella late today so you only just arrived.
  1272. >They all wave you over and you jug to make up the distance.
  1273. “Hey girls! Sorry I’m late I had, uh, human stuff.”
  1274. >Works everytime.
  1275. >”Don’t y’all worry none sugarcube just toss yer britches and hop on in.”
  1276. >Drop the shorts?
  1277. “Oh, right. Actually these are shorts made for swimming, Didn’t think I had any since I haven’t gone swimming in a while but I did find them after a little digging.”
  1278. >And by digging you mean frantically throwing all the shit in your drawers out while screaming “I fucking know I had them somewhere!”
  1279. >But they don’t need to know that.
  1280. >And you needed a bigger excuse to clean your place anyway now that it was warm.
  1281. >”We’re well aware that swimming shorts exist darling, what Applejack means is that if you would be so kind as to remove them anyway.”
  1282. >The fuck?
  1283. “I don’t follow.”
  1284. >”It’s opposite day Nonny! Look see, we put on clothes just for you!” Pinkie remarks as she leaps into the air and floats long enough for you to see her blue one piece with candies patterned all over it.
  1285. “Holy sh-“ Nope, Fluttershy’s here, “What? You all have swimming suits on?”
  1286. >Taking a closer look you can indeed see some semblance of clothing through the clear water.
  1287. >”We figured that for this year we’d wear clothes, and if you’d like to join in then y’all could lose yours.”
  1288. >”Yeah, cause it’s opposite day!” Pinkie repeats.
  1289. “Gotcha, so because it’s not opposite day I should drop my shorts.”
  1290. >”No Anon, it is opposite day” Pinkie corrects.
  1291. “Right, that’s what I’m saying, It’s not opposite day.”
  1292. >”No but it is.”
  1293. “I know that Pinkie, that’s why i’m saying that it’s not.”
  1294. >”It is!”
  1295. >”Not.”
  1296. >She’s starting to get frustrated, “But it IS Opposite day!”
  1297. >This is getting fun.
  1298. >You respond in a very slow and drawn out fashion.
  1299. “I know that Pinkie, That’s. Why. I. Am. Saying. That. It’s. NOT. Opposite. Day.”
  1300. >She tugs at her mane in frustration’ BUT IT IS OPP-“
  1301. >A purple hoof finds its way into her mouth, “Anon! Not everything has to be opposite for opposite day. Most ponies just do one thing opposite to celebrate, like walking backwards or saying goodbye to greet you.”
  1302. “Yeah I figured that after the first correction, I’m just being a doofus.”
  1303. >Pinkie splashes you with some, admittedly, refreshing water and you both laugh aloud while your friends all groan at your collective idiocy.
  1304. >Their loss, that shit was funny.
  1305. >Rainbow seems to have gotten most irritated with your bullshit, looks like she’s practically fuming over by the tree.
  1306. >She’ll probably chill after you guys kick this swim time off right.
  1307. “Okay okay, I guess if it’s the season right?”
  1308. >You loosen the little knot on your trunks and pinch opposite sides of the bands.
  1309. >In a fluid motion that came as a result of streaking through football games with your bros you simultaneously sprint towards the edge of the lake and pull down your shorts.
  1310. >Everything seems slow-motion, probably a hang over of the Adrenalin from doing it in public.
  1311. >You can see all of your friends eyes lower and then simultaneously expand to fill the white.
  1312. >It’s like they’ve never seen a dick before or something.
  1313. >Well this’ll get em back to normal.
  1314. “CANONBALL!”
  1315. *SPLASH*
  1316. >The cool water surrounds you in an instant.
  1317. >The hair on the back of your neck stands on its end from the sudden temperature change.
  1318. >There was a particular pressure from the water around your backdoor that you’re not sure how you feel about, but this is probably the price to pay for skinny dipping.
  1319. >You exhale loudly as you surface.
  1320. “Did I get any of… you… girls?”
  1321. >Where the hell are they?
  1322. >”Got this darn suit stuck on a dang branch! Told y’all these things get in the way.”
  1323. >You look up and find all your friends sitting up in the tree.
  1324. >Holy fuck, did you splash them that hard?
  1325. “Yo! Did I do that? Didn’t think I was that heavy…”
  1326. >You see them exchange glances between each other.
  1327. >It’s about this time that you notice how warm this water got.
  1328. “Aww come on!” you shout as you rapidly swim away from that spot, “Did you girls really do what I think you did?!”
  1329. >Admittedly it’s kind of funny, gross and something you didn’t think girls would do, but you can see the humor in this.
  1330. >”N-no! It’s not… we peed!” Rainbow stammers out.
  1331. >But that is what you think they di-
  1332. >Pinkie takes a deep gasp of air as she pops up out of the water right next to you.
  1333. >Was she always wearing goggles?
  1334. >”Anonymous! I forgot that us girls have some… Opposite Day friendship business to take care of” Twilight shouts from her spot near the top.
  1335. >”No we don’t.” Pinkie chimes in, "I remember you checked, double checked, triple checked, and even quadr-“
  1336. >She, along with everyone else vanishes in a flash of purple light.
  1337. >Huh, they didn’t freak out because of you did they?
  1338. >What you’re packing doesn’t look that different from a station.
  1339. >But it made them pee themselves and run away.
  1340. >Maybe you should talk to someone about this…
  1341.  
  1342. *FOOSH*
  1343. >In a flash of purple you and five of your bestest friends in the whole wide world have teleported to Twilight’s castle.
  1344. >Twilight is soundproofing the room and locking all the doors.
  1345. >Applejack is ripping off her swimmy suit.
  1346. >Rarity is yelling at Applejack for ripping it.
  1347. >Fluttershy is hiding behind her mane.
  1348. >And Rainbow Dash is staring at the floor.
  1349. >*GASP*
  1350. >That must mean…
  1351. >You are Pinkie Pie!
  1352. >YAY!
  1353. >”Alright Girls, I’m sorry to teleport us all out so suddenly but this is clearly an emergency situation.”
  1354. >The others nod along in agreement.
  1355. “Wait, emergency? What’s the emergency? Is it a party?! Did we forget to throw a party? It’s opposite day so maybe I’m forgetting so I can remember it a-“
  1356. >”No darling, It’s not a party. It’s what happened just moments ago.” Rarity replies.
  1357. >Well moments ago you were sneakily sneaking a peakily peak at Anon’s winkly- his penis.
  1358. >Then they pulled you here...
  1359. “Was it because I was looking at his winky? I had implied permission.”
  1360. >”No Pinkie, it’s- well it kind of has to do with that. Anon is some kind of hermaphrodyte” Twilight responds.
  1361. >”S’that what ya get when one o' them mares takes a potion to go “half way”?” Applejack asks with a hint of disgust in her voice.
  1362. >A half way potion?
  1363. >No Pinkie, you can think of "pickle barrel surprise” recipes later.
  1364. “No he’s not. Anon is a boy.”
  1365. >”But he has breasts Pinkie.”
  1366. “No sillies, that’s how human boys are. They have muscle up there, the girls have a bunch of milky stuff that makes them way bigger.”
  1367. >”How do you know that?” Twilight asks.
  1368. “Anon told me while we watched some movies together.”
  1369. >Oh Mulan, you’re such a go getter.
  1370. >”Movies? What are mo- no Twilight one thing at a time. Pinkie, you knew?”
  1371. “Duh, of course I knew. The real question is how do none of you know? I told you he was a boy.”
  1372. >”No y’all didn’t! My memory’s sharper than one o' them rascal FlimFlam brothers's tongues and I don’t member a lick of that outta you.”
  1373. >Well that doesn’t sound sharp at all, your tongue can’t cut through anything.
  1374. >”Sharpness aside, I do believe we would recall such a shocking revelation as this no?” Rarity adds.
  1375. “Well why don’t you girls think back, waaaaaay back to when Nonny first got here...”
  1376. >Oh boy it’s flashback time, you love the swirly vision thing that happens during flashbacks.
  1377. >SWIRL SWIRL SWIRL
  1378. >”Pinkie, stop saying swirl over and over! Just tell us what happened.”
  1379. “Oops, sorry.”
  1380. >Swirl
  1381.  
  1382. >You are Pinkie Pie.
  1383. >Still? Hooray! You love getting to talk in black text, it’s so easy to read.
  1384. >Apple harvest has just finished and your friends are all taking a relaxing lunch after a job well done.
  1385. >You were too until something caught your attention.
  1386. >There’s a little ladybug who looks lonely.
  1387. “Hey there little lady” you greet.
  1388. >Ha, little lady, where DO you come up with these?
  1389. “I bet you could use some company hu-“
  1390. >A strong sensation flows through your body.
  1391. “Twitcha twich?”
  1392. >Tail's raising every two point three seconds.
  1393. >Front knees weak.
  1394. >Tongue feels heavy.
  1395. >Got leftovers in the fridge already, Mom’s spaghetti.
  1396. >Eyes are wandering all zig zaggy.
  1397. >And ONLY your left ear is all flippy floppy.
  1398. >That can only mean one thing…
  1399. >You’re not eating that spaghetti for dinner.
  1400. >No wait!
  1401. >Your fun button is playing hide and seek.
  1402. >THAT can only mean one thing!
  1403. >There’s a male alien from another world who’s going to crash land here in Ponyville.
  1404. >With how many zany things happen to Ponyville almost every week, you’re surprised this one hasn’t happened vary often.
  1405. >You gotta tell the girls!
  1406. “Girls hey girls!”
  1407. >Oh blacktext, you just stand out so well.
  1408. “Girls!”
  1409. >”Shoot Pinkie, I don’t know where you get all that energy from. If i had that I probably wouldn’t need y’all’s help with the harvest” Applejack remarks.
  1410. “Aww, you know that we’d never let you do that on your own again. I almost died from those baked bads. Oh! But that’s not the point, I have to tell you girls something.”
  1411. >”What is it Pinkie Pie? Is something wrong?” Fluttershy asks.
  1412. “No, something is great! My clit started winking a-“
  1413. >”Oh come on Pinkie, Rarity’s the generous one and even she wouldn’t show any pony that!” Rainbow Dash says.
  1414. >”Yes, how simply uncou-“
  1415. >Rainbow cuts Rarity off, “Because it’s so big nopony would know what they’re looking at”.
  1416. >You can’t help by giggle at such a sick burn.
  1417. >Rarity’s going to need some ointment for that on-
  1418. >”Ouch! Come on I was joking!”
  1419. >Ooh, Rainbow’s gonna need something other than ointment for THAT.
  1420. >Focus Pinkie, your tail is raising faster.
  1421. “No, What I’m trying to tell you girls is-“
  1422. *BOOM*
  1423. >”What in tarnation was that?!”
  1424. >”I don’t know but it can’t have been good, come on girls!” Twilight shouts as she charges towards the crash.
  1425. “That must be the alien!”
  1426. >”Alien? Are you sure you didn’t just wear out your brain instead of your body during the harvest? It’s probably some ancient evil or something” Rainbow dash remarks before speeding off.
  1427.  
  1428. “SWIRL SWIRL SWIRL SWI-“
  1429. >”Pinkie! You don’t have to say swirl! I know that’s the end” Twilight growls.
  1430. >You giggle lightly.
  1431. “Oops, right. Well there you have it girls, proof that I told you all… about my fun button. Guess I never got to the important part.”
  1432. >Twilight Rarity and Applejack sigh in unison.
  1433. >Aww, you wanna do something in unison too.
  1434. >”So all this ti-“
  1435. “All this ti-“
  1436. >”Pinkie, stop copying me.” Twilight says flatly, “All this time you knew and you didn’t think to bring it up again? We referred to her uh, him as a female. You were there for some of them!”
  1437. “I just thought you were all joking, like “ha ha Anon acts like a mare ha ha”.”
  1438. >”I just do-“
  1439. >”Y’know I always thought Anon was just polite. The way sh- he would leave the toilet seat up for Big Mac whenever sh- dang it, HE was at the farm… S’been helping do the finances too, partly cause I joked about him fu- Oh sweet Celestia” Aplejack hides her scarlet face behind her hat.
  1440. >”I did always think there was something more to Anon’s preference in clothing, this makes complete sense! Why, I could, no should, offer my services to help the poor dear” Rarity muses to herself.
  1441. >Or she would except this crystal room really carries doesn’t it?
  1442. >PICKLEBARREL!
  1443. >picklebarrel
  1444. >Hey it worked!
  1445. >Must be really empty for your thoughts to echo too.
  1446. >…No wai-
  1447. >”If Anon is a male then… oh Spike, this is not going to be a fun discussion” Twilight mumbles to the floor.
  1448. >”YES! I KNEW IT!”
  1449. >You all turn to see Rainbow Dash doing loop-de-loops in the spacious ceiling.
  1450. >”You knew too?!” Twilight asks.
  1451. >”No I didn’t know, but now I know! Y’know?” Rainbow responds.
  1452. “YEAH!”
  1453. >”yeah”
  1454. >You don’t actually know but you do love echoes.
  1455. >”Oh I can’t tell you how relieved I feel. All the pressure is off now! it’s just like Fluttershy was te-“
  1456. >Rainbow stops and slowly pans down to where Fluttershy is.
  1457. >Tears are dropping from beneath her curtain of a mane into a little puddle by her hooves.
  1458. >”Fluttershy, I-“
  1459. >”I-I I loved her!” She cries as she bolts out of the room faster than you’ve ever seen somepony go.
  1460. >”Uh… I’ll go after her. We have some things to talk about anyway” Rainbow Dash remarks before zooming off.
  1461. >”Oh the poor dear, I only realized today that our Fluttershy was having a bit of a crush. I suppose it was far more impactful than a mere crush…” Rarity says to the open doorway.
  1462.  
  1463. >You rise out of bed at the crack of dawn and prepare yourself for another rich and fulfilling day.
  1464. >Nah, just kidding.
  1465. >Your lazy ass gets up at noon because you don't need money for a few more days.
  1466. >You walk over to the bathroom and preform the standard routine.
  1467. >Running low on razors you notice, do ponies even "clean shave"?
  1468. >Or is it like those bearded goats you've seen on Nat Geo where it kind of takes care of itself.
  1469. >Well, that's a question to ask next time you need to head out.
  1470. >You step towards your bathroom door before noticing something in the mirror.
  1471. >Is that...
  1472. >It is!
  1473. >Holy shit, you've got abs!
  1474. >They're not well defined, but its a step up from the pudge you're relaxed lifestyle has earned you thus far.
  1475. >Having to pick up a vegetarian diet and losing internet and cars forever seems to have done wonders in the half year you've been here.
  1476. >You spend a little time flexing your no gainz and striking dumb poses before leaving your bathroom.
  1477. "Aah! Ffffffuck!"
  1478. >Goddamn LEGO brick, you will hand that brick's family off to a bunch of foals so help you god!
  1479. "Gotta clean up this damn place..."
  1480. >This is probably the worst it's ever-
  1481. >Okay, so this is the standard for your room, but now there's pony fur and feathers that have been building up so you should really prioritize this.
  1482. >...Eh, maybe tomorrow.
  1483. >You snap on a pair of boxers only for them to flop onto you.
  1484. "Hmm..."
  1485. >They seem to hang around your waist limply.
  1486. >Throwing on a shirt and a pair of shorts, then promptly eating shit when you trip on the shorts around your ankles informs you that maybe you need new clothes.
  1487. >Or at the very least you need these resized.
  1488. >Maybe all of your shorts and pants and stuff actually, you've found yourself pulling on them more and more lately but none of them have straight dropped.
  1489. >Man, that's going to cost a lot.
  1490. >Or not very much?
  1491. >You really don't know, but now you know what you'll be doing today, or who you'll be asking about clothes and prices to be specific.
  1492. >A quick glance through your closet doesn't reveal any belts.
  1493. >You reach a hand into the pile of things that is your closet before hearing a knock at your front door.
  1494. "Ah damn. Welp, hopefully this'll be quick."
  1495. >Holding your shorts with one hand you stroll over to your front door and open it.
  1496. >Glancing down you see a tiny purple princess looking up at you.
  1497. "Hey Twilight. Is it learning day already? Where's Spike?"
  1498. >She turns away to avoid your gaze before responding, "Well, it is and it isn't. This is going to be more of a... casual visit so I don't need Spike here taking notes."
  1499. >Silly princess pone, she still feels guilty for leaving you alone at the lake a few days ago.
  1500. >Kinda stung in the moment, but she apologized the next day and explained that there really was some emergency regarding new information coming to the surface.
  1501. >Not one to pry in all that biz you took her at her word and let it go, that and you could never think of the right way to phrase "Hey could you look at my dick?" to anyone.
  1502. >Judging by how tense she is makes you thinking that she hasn't quite let it go on her end.
  1503. "Oh well that's a bummer, I haven't seen the little guy in a bit. Come on in Twi."
  1504. >She hesitates briefly before stepping into your humble abode.
  1505. >"I wasn't interrupting anything was I?" she asks while looking at your waist.
  1506. >Probably noticed that your shorts aren't fitting.
  1507. "No, just having a little wardrobe trouble is all. I kinda need to address it today, but I've got time."
  1508. >"How could I have not noticed it before..."
  1509. "Noticed what?" you ask while reaching for your chair.
  1510. >"Uh, n-nothing It's just... oh here, please let me-"
  1511. >The chair you were reaching for glows purple and gently slides back enough for you to drop your bum onto.
  1512. >She does the same for your pony chair.
  1513. >Which is just a normal chair that has a seat cushion and folded blanket on it so they can sit at the appropriate height.
  1514. >Ponk may be silly, but damn if she doesn't eke out a good idea from time to time.
  1515. >Twilight withdraws a small black vial, pen, and parchment from her saddlebags and sets them down onto your table.
  1516. >There's some kind of list on the second sheet.
  1517. >The only thing you can really make out on the list is "Moonvies (Lunar Projections?)."
  1518. "For a casual visit this is really looking a lot like a "learning day" to me."
  1519. >Twilight's ears perk up before falling flat against her head.
  1520. >She gives you an embarrased smile, "Well, perhaps casual wasn't quite the right term..."
  1521. >Twilight sighs as the vial glows the same purple her horn does.
  1522. >A few tiny droplets of ink float up from the vial.
  1523. >"Wha- Oh, don't tell me I grabbed the wrong vial!... Spike usually prepares my bags, I'm just so busy I tend to forget things like this" she grumbles to herself.
  1524. >You glance around before spying a pen of your own laying under a stack of papers that consisted of Pinkie's cake recipe .
  1525. >A good reminder to never tell her it's for a friend, otherwise you get a thirty page recipe on how to make "cakes for friends."
  1526. "Here, this one still has ink in it."
  1527. >"Thank you Anon- uh, does this one click?"
  1528. "I think so."
  1529. >Twilight groans, "I appreciate you sharing such cutting edge writing technology with me, but if I'm being honest... I hate the clicky pens."
  1530. >You chuckle.
  1531. "Yeah, I don't care for them either. I always found myself clicking it whenever I was bored or-"
  1532. >"-Was bored or frustrated, yes! That's exactly why!"
  1533. >You both share a laugh until Twilight clears her throat, "R-right so, I wanted to talk about uh, your biology."
  1534. >Aww shit, you were kinda hoping you'd get to bullshit her about the moonvies thing for a little while.
  1535. "Uh, alright. I don't know as much about myself as I should, but I'll answer whatever I can."
  1536. >Twilight clicks the pen, then clicks it a few more times while biting her lip before floating it down to her parchment.
  1537. >"S-so, for starters... you only have two genders right? H-humans I mean! You HUMANS have only two genders?"
  1538. >Stifling a chuckle you respond calmly.
  1539. "Well depending on who you ask no, but most sane people would agree that there are two biological genders yes."
  1540. >"Depending on-" she shakes her head, "What are the differences between your two genders?"
  1541. "Hmmm, well I think it's mostly like you ponies... hold on lemme try to get all textbook with you."
  1542. >"You have textbooks on the subject?!"
  1543. >This mare and her books.
  1544. "Figure of speech Twilight!" you call out as you grab your laptop.
  1545. >Bringing it back over to the table you set it down to the starry eyed princess' delight.
  1546. "Let's see, I'm sure I can use a scene from something..."
  1547. >Damn, you downloaded way too many cartoons back on Earth.
  1548. "Ah, perfect."
  1549. >You turn the screen around so Twilight can see the paused video.
  1550. >Displayed are two pretty standard looking humans, one male and one female.
  1551. >You walk around and kneel next to Twilight so you can point out what you need to.
  1552. "So that's a male and that's a female, pretty notable difference right?"
  1553. >"I see..."
  1554. "So obviously there's the main difference right? Guys have a penis and girls have a vagina."
  1555. >She continues studying the screen but nods to get you to continue.
  1556. "Well then there's the other stuff, and that can change a lot from person to person, but it basically works like this-"
  1557. >You point to the top of the people's heads.
  1558. "Hair, pretty much the same as manes. Guys tend to keep it short, girls tend to keep it long."
  1559. >Twilight nods again.
  1560. "Uh, oh! Beards, most guys grow facial hair of some form, and most girls can't."
  1561. >"How much?"
  1562. >You take a moment to draw some of the more common facial styles on the screenshot you had just made of the scene.
  1563. >"So you take sharpened blades to your skin?! Isn't that dangerous?"
  1564. >You shrug.
  1565. "It's what a man's gotta do to be taken seriously usually, plus you get used to it eventually."
  1566. >Twilight nods in understanding, "such high standards your world has..."
  1567. >If you knew dicks about makeup you'd have a horror tale for her, but today's focus is biology so you'd better get back to it.
  1568. "Adam's Apple, every guy has one. No female does."
  1569. >"I see..." she mumbles while scribbling down something in her notes, "And what purpose does it serve? Louder screams in times of danger?"
  1570. >Huh, what the hell does it do?
  1571. "I don't actually know, I just know I can wiggle it if I move my tongue around."
  1572. >You hear some rapid clicking along with the soft ruffle of feathers and a slight hiss from Twilight, but she looks fine when you glance back at her.
  1573. >Turning back to the screen you move on to the next thing down, probably one of the most glaring differences.
  1574. "Breasts. Girls have them, guys don't... usually anyway."
  1575. >Twilight stares at the to people's chests for a while, "I don't... forgive me Anon it's just that I'm not noticing a difference other than size."
  1576. >You look again and it takes you little bit of thinking to see it her way.
  1577. "Oh yeah, I guess to you they would look like that huh."
  1578. >You wiggle out of your shirt and turn to face Twilght, "A-Anon! There's no need to-" she stammers while clicking her pen rapidly.
  1579. "No, c'mon it's fine. Here, just touch my chest."
  1580. >She resists your grabbing of her hoof, but not enough that you can't have her boop your nipple.
  1581. >Her face is a very deep scarlet, and that just brings you so much enjoyment.
  1582. "Look, really push down on it. See? It doesn't have very much give, it's mostly muscle under there."
  1583. >She retacts her hoof the moment you let it go and stares at it while you continue.
  1584. "Girls usually have a lot more right here, it's squishier because it's full of fat and milk making stuff."
  1585. >"So it's the presence of milk that makes them breasts?"
  1586. "I guess so. Most people call this area the chest, and if they're a girl then breast can also be used too."
  1587. >"A-and the fur?"
  1588. >You follow her eyes down to your own chest.
  1589. "Oh, that's guy thing too. Usually anyway."
  1590. >You think about whether there's anything else, or at least anything that requires you to remain shirtless.
  1591. >Coming up with nothing you slip back into your shirt.
  1592. >You hear Twilight sigh as you pop your head through the neck of your shirt.
  1593. "And that's it I think. Most guys are taller and stronger as you can kinda see here and it is here too I think."
  1594. >Twilight nods slowly to confirm your assertion while her mind seems to be miles away.
  1595. >She jumps slightly in her seat, "S-so that time in the library?!"
  1596. >You tilt your head and hum questioningly.
  1597. >"When you were working shirtless with Spike in the room..."
  1598. >Oh yeah.
  1599. "Ah, yeah. Sorry again about that, I was just broing around with Spike. I didn't realize th-"
  1600. >"Broing? As in brothers?"
  1601. "Yeah, what else would I mean?"
  1602. >Twilight puts down her pen and her face takes a more serious look to it, "Of course..." she mumbles to herself, "Oh, I've taken up enough of your time Anonymous, I should really get going."
  1603. "Oh, okay. Did we cover everything you wanted to know?"
  1604. >"Yes, thank you Anon. This has been very... eye opening."
  1605. >She gathers her things and bolts in pretty wuick succesion.
  1606. >Twilight didn't even ask your blood type or anything, guess biology means something a little different to tiny magic pony.
  1607. >You rest your hands on your head and think about what it was you were going to do today.
  1608. >The slight chill you feel around your thighs reminds you of what that thing was.
  1609. >Gotta go see Rarara today.
  1610.  
  1611. >Flashes of Anon's thin coltish chest tuft flood your mind.
  1612. >Flying is a even harder to do at the moment, but...
  1613. >Holy hay!
  1614. >It all makes sense now!
  1615. >Anonymous was acting on his natural fatherly instinct towards Spike!
  1616. >Such a modest guy he is too, referring to Spike "like a brother" so as not to threaten your place as his mother.
  1617. >But nopony you know would have done so much to-
  1618. >Oh sweet friendship, you made him do so many difficult tasks around the castle!
  1619. >You didn't know he was a HE at the moment, but even still Anonymous did them, he even did them happily?
  1620. >Because he was able to be around Spike?
  1621. >Oh, how could you be so blind Twilight?
  1622. >For years now you've been on the hunt for a colt who would complete your family.
  1623. >Working hard to make something of yourself.
  1624. >Raising Spike to show how responsible you are.
  1625. >All of it has lead to a castle full of responsibilities and no free time to date, and a budding young dragon who's more of a tammyfilly than a boy.
  1626. >There's no way you could peruse this... right?
  1627. >It's not as though Anon was being very subtle you muse while staring at the hoof that Anon held.
  1628. >No... not until you've had a long talk with Spike, if even then.
  1629. >You sigh as you glide down onto your balcony.
  1630. >You'd rather deal with another Tirek than this talk...
  1631.  
  1632. >Anon again.
  1633. >You take one more glance around your place to see if there's anything else you might want to take care of while you're going out today.
  1634. >Found a belt.
  1635. >Grabbed your more often used shorts and pants.
  1636. "Hmm... oh!"
  1637. >Should put the laptop back in its rightful place.
  1638. >Printing screenshot?
  1639. >Did you hit the button while "lecturing" Twilight?
  1640. >Well, it's not like you have a printer anyway so whatever.
  1641. >Seems like you covered everything, may hit up Sugarcube Corner on the way back for a snack and to see if Ponk is free to hang tonight.
  1642. >You haven't Plenka Po in a little bit.
  1643. >...Or any of your friends really, not until Twilight dropped by today.
  1644. >Hopefully Rarity isn't too busy making her winter line or however fashion stuff works.
  1645. >You lock your front door and make your way to Rarity's Boutique.
  1646. "Aah fuck!"
  1647. >No, actually you're just going to eat shit after having taken two steps.
  1648. "Fucking horse patio furniture" you growl to yourself as you dust off.
  1649. >Thought you tucked in that damn chair yesterday.
  1650. >The spring sun is really doing a number to it though.
  1651. >Looks like the white and brown is fading to a yellow and reddish color.
  1652. >Maybe the Quills and Sofas ponies can touch it up?
  1653. >Hopefully you don't forget to stop by and ask before coming back home today .
  1654.  
  1655. >You reservedly turn through another page of Twilight's very detailed notes, eager to simply tear into it the moment it appeared before you just moments ago.
  1656. "I see, so it's THESE curves that are accentuated in the females" you mumble to yourself as you usually do when drafting new designs.
  1657. >Twilight certainly can do very thorough work if it's a tool for study, a shame really, she's got potential.
  1658. >Ah well, perhaps it is best that you're the only one who's focus is in design in this small village.
  1659. >All these darling colts coming to you for emergencies or advice.
  1660. >You're more than happy to help the poor dears, being in their good graces is a wonderful feeling indeed.
  1661. >You turn to the next page.
  1662. "Oh yes, so rather than protruding features it's the lack of curvature in the face that determines masculinity."
  1663. >By pony standards Anonymous carries many physical traits that are common in mares, but looking at Twilight's sketches the differences in humans are quite clear to your keen eyes.
  1664. >Such interesting beings humans are, you can feel your mind reeling with all the possibilities just from these sketches alone!
  1665. >You need only to find a way to convince Anonymous to stop by the boutique...
  1666. >Twilight deemed it best for his coltish psyche for none of us to address our "discovery" and to treat him as we have before.
  1667. >She had also asked that we limit our contact with Anonymous until she can gather some more information.
  1668. >Well, information you have now so she shouldn't mind you spending a little time with the otherworldly stallio-
  1669. >Three sharp knock sounds off at your door.
  1670. >"Are you getting it Rarity?" Sweetie Belle calls from her room upstairs.
  1671. "Yes Sweetie!" you call back as you make your way to the front door.
  1672. >Thankfully she seems to be busy plotting some other cutie mark plan to bound down the stairs and answer the door for you.
  1673. >While you love your little sister, she can be a little brash with your clientèle.
  1674. "Hello, welcome the the Carousel Boutique! How may I he- Anonymous?!"
  1675. >There he stands, exotic form given context.
  1676. >Mysteries now fully understood, and yet still intriguing.
  1677. >Before you stands the delightfully androgynous, and yet still fully male, Anonymous.
  1678. >"Hey Rarity, I probably should've come in sooner for this but uh, could you tailor my pants and stuff?"
  1679. >The poor dear is practically buried in his clothing!
  1680. "Of course darling of course! Do come in, oh and let me assist you with those" you chirp as you levitate the mountain he bore on his arms.
  1681. >"Oh, thank Rarity" he says as he rubs an arm.
  1682. >You almost reel back in surprise when you see the sorry state of Anonymous' clothing.
  1683. >Is this dirt?!
  1684. >"Oh, yeah. I fell while on the way over, sorry about that."
  1685. >Seems you still speak your thoughts when you're flustered.
  1686. >"Ah don't worry, I do that sometimes too."
  1687. >You set Anon's clothing down and take a deep breath to hopefully regain control of your mouth.
  1688. "So Anonymous, what is it that you need assistance with?"
  1689. >"Well, I've been losing weight since I got here and now my clothes don't fit anymore, see?"
  1690. >Your eyes are locked on to his sharp jaw as he speaks, his "Adam's Apple" moves when making certain sounds.
  1691. >How truly fascinating.
  1692. >"-ankfully I managed to find a belt that wasn't too loose on me. So can you help?"
  1693. >You blink rapidly.
  1694. >Oh ponyfeathers, you weren't listening.
  1695. >Anonymous' thumbs are tucked into the waist of his shorts.
  1696. >Severe crumpling of his shorts along the belt.
  1697. >Open space from his body to the belt despite it being at the final hole.
  1698. >He wants you to take him in!
  1699. "Of course!"
  1700. >His clothes in! He wants you to take in his clothing!
  1701. "Th- uh, that is... y-yes of course Anonymous. S' a-a simple task" you follow with a nervous giggle.
  1702. >Anonymous smiles, "That great! Are you sure though? I know I'm not a pony so I wasn't sure..."
  1703. >You breathe a sigh of relief, he seems to have not noticed you acting like anything but the gentlemare you are.
  1704. "Anonymous, have a little faith no? If there's anypony who could work with such an... exotic form, it would be moi!"
  1705. >That's right, just a little touch of pressure to instil confidence.
  1706. >Anon gives a deliciously rich chuckle, "Yeah I guess you've got a point. So how much would it cost to do all of those?"
  1707. >You glance back to the beaten, wrinkly, dirty clothing he's pointing at and it takes everything in you not to shed a tear for the poor dear.
  1708. >He must be trying to make ends meet as a single colt.
  1709. "Oh let's not worry ourselves about frivolous things like cost, coming to me of all ponies in your time of need is all the payment I need of you, now would you be so kind as to allow me to take your measurements down?"
  1710. >"Oh Rarity I couldn't do that, I'll pay whatever you normally charge for th-"
  1711. "I simply won't allow it Anonymous, please, I've plenty of time now that I'm between seasons, and working with your... unique form, is just the thing to keep me sharp as it where."
  1712. >Anon's brow furrows, but then relaxes shortly after, "Alright alright..." he mumbles as he scratches your ear with that wonderfully delicate hand of his, "You silly generous pony you."
  1713. >You can't help but titter at his aggressive complement.
  1714. "Now then, go and stand up on the podium if you please."
  1715. >Like a good stallion he does as you say, but most colts relish the opportunity to show off.
  1716. >Now comes the part where there's usually some resistance that requires an air of professionalism.
  1717. "If you would darling, remove your clothing so I may get as accurate a measurement as possible."
  1718. "All of it?"
  1719. >You clear your throat.
  1720. "Well, seeing as how you're the only one of your kind I'm afraid I don't have any other references. I need to be as thorough as possible to ensure a proper fit."
  1721. >Anonymous shrugs and begins removing his shirt.
  1722. >Well, you certainly didn't think he woul-
  1723. >Woul-
  1724. >Wow...
  1725. >You've seen him shirtless before, but never have you seen him in the process of becoming so.
  1726. >His musculature shifting as he pulls the bottom up.
  1727. >The bend in his spine giving you a very... insightful look at his torso.
  1728. >Hazy memories of a drunken night following a successfully completed order flood your mind.
  1729. >A feeling of regret fills your chest as you casually inspect the "measuring tape" before you.
  1730. >How much time could you have saved had you simply acted on your instincts back then.
  1731. >You've been rather partial to his androgynous nature and unique sense of style back when you thought he was female, and now...
  1732. >"Rarity, I'm going to hang out with the girls. We're going to try and get our cutie marks in wagon racing!"
  1733. "Alright Sweetie, try to get the ponice called on you like las- SWEETIE!?"
  1734. >With a flick of your magic you shut the curtains and whip around to see Sweetie enter your work area.
  1735. >She's immediately suspicious of your reaction, "Are you hiding something back there sis?" she asks while glancing at the shut curtain.
  1736. >"Nope, just a human, not really hidden" Anonymous calls out.
  1737. >Sweetie giggles, "Anon? Is that all? I thought you had something way cooler back there" she leans in close to you, "Like a boy" she whispers with a slight blush.
  1738. >Is she at that age alre-
  1739. >"Hey, I'm plenty cool! Just a little indecent right now..."
  1740. >Sweetie rolls her eyes, "Psh, like I haven't see-"
  1741. "Sweetie! D-don't you think it's rude to keep your friends waiting?" you say with forced normalcy.
  1742. >"Oh yeah! I gotta hurry, I'm bringing the helmets! Bye Anon, bye sis!" she says as she runs for the front door.
  1743. >You wipe the sweat from your brow and pull back the curtain, pretending nothing's changed is harder than you thought.
  1744. "I'm so sorry about that, I was so caught up in fant- planning! That I forgot Sweetie Belle was even home."
  1745. >"Eh, I had these bad boys on so it's not like it would've been terrible, but thanks for shutting the curtains anyway."
  1746. "Bad... boys..."
  1747. >You simply can't take your eyes off of them.
  1748. >Their material seems so thin.
  1749. >It covers just enough, and hangs so loosely on him that you can make out a second patch of fur.
  1750. >This certainly wasn't in Twilight's notes, and it appears to be just above his...
  1751. "Well! It would seem that you may require a little more than a simple taking in Anonymous."
  1752. >"What do you mean?"
  1753. "This-" you say while tugging at the band of his shorts, "material is simply unable to be tailored, I'll have to make you some myself."
  1754. >Ones with little hearts.
  1755. >Ones with little bows.
  1756. >Oh! Ones with your cutie mark!
  1757. >"Hmm, nah, I think I can make do with the ones I have for now. It's really the pants and shorts that I need fixed."
  1758. "Wh-what? No! Anonymous, you simply must allow me to tailor you some now shorts! I have all these ideas already, I know you'll find them simply devine!"
  1759. >"Jeez Rara, I just don't feel right taking advantage of your generosity like that. Offering to do my pants and stuff alone is plenty."
  1760. "Th-then how about dinner?"
  1761. >You clamp your mouth shut before you've even realize the words have already escaped your lips.
  1762. >Oh damnation.
  1763. >"Dinner? Like you want me to make you dinner?"
  1764. "Forgive me Anonymous, I didn't mean to imply that you owe me anything! I was simply feeling a bit peckish is a-"
  1765. >"Okay. Dinner it is, it's a start at least for everything you're doing for me."
  1766. >Wait what?
  1767. "R-really?" you stammer out in utter disbelief.
  1768. >It's the wrong thing to do, asking a client on a date... but a simple tailoring is hardly enough to be considered a client no?
  1769. >The rest is more of a personal project rather than an order right?
  1770. >"Yeah sure! Heh, I've never had a girl ask me on a date before, even if I am the one preparing it all... and like I said, it's a start right?"
  1771. >Dinner as the start?
  1772. >Then where does he plan to end?
  1773. >Your tail tucks tightly between your legs and you take a few breaths to regain your composure.
  1774. "Right well... wonderful then! N-now raise your arm i-if you would."
  1775.  
  1776. >Welp, turns out the Quill and Sofa's ponies can't do patio furniture.
  1777. >Kind of expected it, ponies don't tend to be very flexible with what they can do once they've got a cutie mark.
  1778. >Huh, that's kind of sad...
  1779. >The groceries in your arms feel just a bit heavier.
  1780. >C'mon Non! You've got a date with a cute mare this is no time to dwell on sad things.
  1781. >Well, to you they're all cute little sentient magic horsies, but to have one ask you out is really flattering.
  1782. >And you like Rarity plenty so you've got no qualms taking her up on the offer.
  1783. >Though you did set the date for tomorrow evening "so she could find someone to watch Sweetie."
  1784. >Such a gentleman you are.
  1785. >A gentleman who has a very clean apartment and totally knows how to make a fancy looking dinner.
  1786. >Starting tomorrow of course.
  1787. >"Hey Anon!"
  1788. >You glance up from the ground, a habit you've picked up so you don't trip over anyone, and spy Bon Bon and Lyra passing you by.
  1789. "Hey girls! You both heading to the market?"
  1790. >"Yup! This one," she motions to Bon Bon with her head, "Says my cooch is getting ready to swim upstreams if you know what I mean" Lyra says while nudging your leg with an elbow.
  1791. >You just about drop your haul from laughing while Bon Bon's face goes red with a mix of anger and embarrassment.
  1792. >"So we're heading to the markets to pick up some pineapples for me to chow down on so she can chow dow-"
  1793. >"LYRA! H-honey... You remember what we talked about? Right?" Bon Bon cuts her off with something between sweet talk and a growl.
  1794. >"Oh come on, Candy Ass, Anon here knows what I'm talkin' about right? We're all in good company."
  1795. >Well, you're not too familiar with horse pussy, but you've been around pussy.
  1796. "Yeah, I'm with you."
  1797. >"Not yet you're not cutie." Lyra coos.
  1798. >"Lyra! You're doing it again! We talked about this..." Bon Bon responds before you can.
  1799. >"Doing what? Being myself? We talked about how you don't want me to be myself?" the minty mare snaps back defensively.
  1800. >Bon Bon rolls her eyes and bares the face of someone who's been through this a number of times before.
  1801. >"No Ly- Come on, you know that's not what I mean... ponies are staring."
  1802. >"So what?! Let them stare! I'm not ashamed of who I am, I'm not ashamed to love you Bon Bon!"
  1803. >Holy shit, how the hell do you get out of being in the middle of this.
  1804. >Bon Bon walks up close to Lyra and nuzzles her cheek, "Lyra, my spicy little mint, you know I love you too... just-"
  1805. >Lyra sighs, "I know, I'm sorry. I just get riled up sometimes-"
  1806. >"I know..." Bon Bon coos.
  1807. >"Like when you let me do that thing with my hor-
  1808. >"I know!"
  1809. >Lyra blushes and puts a hoof to her mouth, Bon Bon boops the minty hoof with her nose and they both start walking together away from you.
  1810. >"Think it's the sun getting to me" Lyra mumbles.
  1811. >"Yeah, it's clearly the sun that's doing this, not anything else" Bon Bon responds with a light giggle.
  1812. >"Oh!" Lyra flips around to face you, "Bye Anon!" she shouts as she hops backwards to keep up with Bon Bon.
  1813. "Uh, S-see you around" you respond back.
  1814. >"Yeah you wi- Aah!" she yelps as Bon Bon whips her around with a yank of Lyra's tail.
  1815. >It's always something in this crazy horse world, aggressively bisexual horses is today's thing it seems.
  1816. >Don't even know what Lyra was on about with the sun, today's been great.
  1817. >It's been refreshingly cloudy all da-
  1818. >Eh?
  1819. >Or maybe you're just feeling good because you've got a date.
  1820. >One lone cloud in the sky might technically be cloudy, but it really felt like they were all over you today.
  1821. >You shift the load of groceries in your arms for a moment while trying to get the keys out of your pocket.
  1822. >It's about the time you almost drop the melon you bought that you decide to just set everything down on the little table you have outside your place.
  1823. >Man, maybe it was just the rapid change from indoor light to bright sunlight, but you could've sworn that chair was more yellow and red when you tripped on it.
  1824. >You unlock the door to your housepartment and carry your stuff inside to set it down on the kitchen table.
  1825. >You take a deep sigh as you look over your tasks for the day.
  1826. >Clean up fucking everything should probably be first.
  1827. >Find a recipe to make all this stuff you bought into a fancy dinner can be next.
  1828. >Lastly is don't fuck up your date with Rarity.
  1829. >That doesn't seem like too much.
  1830. >But if you're going to get down and dirty for a few hours you're going to do it the only way you know how...
  1831. >You pick up your mostly useless phone from the coffee table and pull up your "cleaning playlist".
  1832. >It's loaded with dumb girly pop music, but damn it all if that shit isn't your jam when having to clean up your place.
  1833. >You set the phone down onto your speaker dock and turn that shit up.
  1834. >You've got a lot of dancecleaning to do after all.
  1835. >The best kind of cleaning if you do say so yourself.
  1836. >Normal cleaning is boring and it sucks.
  1837. >Feather duster at the ready, you tap the play button on your speakers and let the music take you away.
  1838.  
  1839. >Be Rainbow Dash.
  1840. >Currently outside your best sis' place.
  1841. >Or well, she was your best sis, when you thought she was a she.
  1842. >Now she's... no HE'S still your best sis.
  1843. >Or is it bro?
  1844. "Ugh, but that sounds so coltish" you groan to yourself as you tug at your mane in frustration.
  1845. >Why is this still difficult!?
  1846. >In a very big way you're relieved to know that you're not gay.
  1847. >N-not that there's anything wrong with that, j-just it's not for you.
  1848. >What is for you now is...
  1849. >Is that you're gong to knock.
  1850. >On the door that you've always just barged into before...
  1851. >Maybe Twilight was right to ask everypony to wait until she got her research or whatever.
  1852. >You'd been flying around nearby "working" to try building up the confidence just to come over.
  1853. >Twilight took off from his place a little while ago, so technically you did wait for her to get her research.
  1854. >And now here you are floating above one his ugly chairs, fighting with yourself to just knock.
  1855. >You hold a hoof out, letting it hover just above his door and...
  1856. >And seriously what kind of colt gets chairs that are just two different shades of brown?
  1857. >One of them even looks kind of yellow from the sun.
  1858. >They're so ugly that you can't help but look away from them.
  1859. >...For just a little longer.
  1860. >Certainly not stalling or anything, just appalled by these chairs.
  1861. >His door knob rattles and you can feel the fur on the back of your neck stand on it's end.
  1862. >Horseapples, you gotta hide!
  1863. >You hear the creak of one of his chairs and a tugging on your tail.
  1864. >Stupid thing got caught on you!
  1865. >In a flash you dive hoof first into the first cloud you see.
  1866. >Which happens to be the only cloud you see.
  1867. >You'll have to remember to thank Cloudy for being so such a stubborn cunt.
  1868. >"Aah fuck!"
  1869. >You peek out through the cloud to see Anon sprawled out on the floor in a pile of his own clothing.
  1870. "An-" you stifle yourself with a hoof.
  1871. >"Fucking horse patio furniture" he grumbles as he dusts himself and the clothes off with a hand.
  1872. >Phew, almost blew your cover.
  1873. >Why are you even taking cover?!
  1874. >That's your sis down there, you should've been laughing that she ate dirt.
  1875. >He, that he ate dirt...
  1876. >And that's why your first instinct was to worry.
  1877. >He hasn't changed at all, you just learned more about him, that shouldn't make things so weird still.
  1878. >You already kissed him!
  1879. >And he hugged you after you had an orgasm in his bathroom.
  1880. >There's not really much further you can go here.
  1881. >Just get down there.
  1882. >Just...
  1883. >Ow ow, you hurt your wing when that chair got caught on your tail... s-somehow.
  1884. >Better just cruise in this cloud for a little while.
  1885. >Gonna just cruise along to the mark-
  1886. >Nope! Sudden turn, going towards Sweet Apple Acres.
  1887. >Maybe Anon's donating his clothes to make scareponies.
  1888. >Not that you're following him or anything, just happen to be going the same way.
  1889. >The same way towards Swee-
  1890. >Carousel Boutique!
  1891. >The wind is really nice around there, might help with your wing and stuff...
  1892.  
  1893. >He's been in there forever!
  1894. >You bet Rarity and him are just talking up a storm.
  1895. "Oh darling what do you think about my summer line? It's all the rage in Appleoosa" Cloud Rarity asks in her snobby tone.
  1896. "I love it since I'm actually a guy and I wear clothes all the time to be handsom and attractive for Rainb-" Cloud Anon's deeply toned response is cut off by the ringing of a bell down below.
  1897. >"See you tomorrow!" real Anon calls from over his shoulder.
  1898. >"Ta ta Darling!" Rarity beams from the doorway.
  1899. >What are they doing tomorrow?
  1900. >More boring clothes stuff probably.
  1901. >You float along as Anon stops by Quills and Sofas for a very brief moment.
  1902. >You can see him shrug as he exists the store and heads to the market proper.
  1903. >He's getting all kinds of fancy looking junk.
  1904. >None of it is the usual grub you two get when you're loading up for a day.
  1905. >He's even taking forever to decide on what he wants!
  1906. >How have you not noticed this before?
  1907. >You've raided his fridge a bunch of times before but none of what he's buying today was ever in there.
  1908. >Was he hiding all this from you?
  1909. >Pinkie knew he ws a guy this whole time.
  1910. >Why would he pretend to be a mare for you?
  1911. >You follow him along, to make sure he gets home safe and all.
  1912. >Lyra and Bon Bon pass him by and he stops to chat with them.
  1913. >If he's trying to rope himself a herd, then he's bucking up the wrong trees.
  1914. >Oh Celestia no.
  1915. >Sweet Celestia NO!
  1916. >He's a guy! How can they not see that!?
  1917. >Just look at all the colty stuff he bought Bon Bon, you're the mare of the relationship!
  1918. >Somehow the whole thing blows over and all you can do is sigh at the whole thing.
  1919. >Anon glances around for a moment, you see his head angle up to the sky around him.
  1920. >He didn't hear you or anything right? His hearing isn't as go-
  1921. >Ohponyfeathershide!
  1922. >Your view goes all white and fluffy as you wait to hear him call your name.
  1923. >When it doesn't come you take a very small peek out from your cloud.
  1924. >Anon's nowhere in sight.
  1925. >You exhale the breath you were holding in and let your limbs dangle lazily out through the bottom of the cloud.
  1926. "That was close."
  1927. >You drift along to Anon's house, as you get closer you can hear a steady thumping sound.
  1928. "Is that music?"
  1929. >It's not like anything you've hear him play for you before.
  1930. >Sounds a lot like that colt band stuff that Spike likes.
  1931. >You float closer and closer to his window, and you're more sure it's some of that garbage pop stuff.
  1932. >The weird thing is that it sounds like a female singer.
  1933. >What kind of self respecting chick woul-
  1934. >Your jaw drops so fast that you can hear it pop.
  1935. "Ow..."
  1936. >He's dancing?!
  1937. >The same sis that tackles harder than anypony you've ever met.
  1938. >The same sis that smelled the thing you found near the Everfree forest because you just asked him to.
  1939. >The same-
  1940. >Oh Sweet Celestia look at him go...
  1941. >There's no way he's your sis anymore.
  1942. >Now way any sister of yours would move like that.
  1943. >Well that makes this a lot easier doesn-
  1944. >"Rainbow Dash!"
  1945. "Iwasjustmakingsure... th-the window was up to code!" you blurt out in surprise.
  1946. >Clear Skies, your kind-of boss ever since the "hibernation fiasco" is glaring down at you, "Why in Equestria do you have a cloud out?"
  1947. "Uh I was..." you stammer a few more tiems while trying not to glance at the window.
  1948. >Clear glances over to Anon's window.
  1949. >Ponyfeathers.
  1950. >She gives you a toothy grin, "Oh, I see what's gong on..."
  1951. "No! It's not what you thi-"
  1952. >"You were gonna give her the ol' thundershock eh? While I appreciate a good prank, if the uppers find out you've got a cloud today I'll be the one getting my flank chewed out so do me a solid and put that back eh?"
  1953. "Wha- bu-"
  1954. >"Hey, it's out of my hooves. Don't worry though come next scheduled thunderstorm we'll get Anon but good" Clear Skies responds with a wink.
  1955. >You glance back to see his window has a lot of glare from the sun.
  1956. >Clear Skies was hovering around this spot, that was pretty lucky.
  1957. >This is all getting to be a little too much.
  1958. >Maybe waiting for Twilight to send you her notes was a better idea than trying to do this yourself.
  1959. >She's a total nerd, but she knows her stuff.
  1960. >You tug the cloud along with you as you head off to storage.
  1961.  
  1962. >Stupid storage place and its stupid rules.
  1963. >Sign this, fill out that.
  1964. >Then wait in this line... THAT TAKES LIKE AN HOUR TO GET THROUGH!
  1965. >You honestly just want to go home after all this.
  1966. >Want to, but your wings are already guiding you back to Anon's.
  1967. >It's time to mare up and just tell him.
  1968. >You can do that right?
  1969. >Heck, you've already established that you kissed him.
  1970. >How hard can it be to just ask him out at this point.
  1971. >Yeah.
  1972. >YEAH!
  1973. >Ugh, this music totally sucks though.
  1974. >VERY uncool.
  1975. >The singer sounds like a total beta.
  1976. >You can't really argue the results though, she sings "shake" and he shakes.
  1977. >Does he ever shake...
  1978. >You watch as he spins around in his living room.
  1979. >He's kicking his legs around as he dusts.
  1980. >The shorts on his waist are dropping lower and lower with each kick.
  1981. >You find yourself leaning closer and closer to the glass.
  1982. >He wiggles his butt around while that lady sings about shaking.
  1983. >This might be music you could get into...
  1984. >His shorts drop just a little lowe-
  1985. "Dang it!"
  1986. >Until he hikes them up and walks off to somewhere you can't see.
  1987. >You lean over as far as you can to try getting a better view of the hall Anon went down.
  1988. >Nothing.
  1989. >There's no other wind-
  1990. >Your ears perk to attention as you hear some kind of horrible roaring.
  1991. >It's almost drowning out the music.
  1992. >What in Equestria is-
  1993. >Anon's backing into his living room.
  1994. >Whatever horrible sound you're hearing, it's coming from that big thing!
  1995. >Anon's pushing it off of himself!
  1996. >He's in trouble!
  1997. "Anon! HEY ANON!"
  1998. >You pound on the glass, but he can't hear you over the roaring of that thing.
  1999. >Ponyfeathers! His front door is locked!
  2000. "ANON! DON'T WORRY! I'M COMING!" you shout as you glide back to build up window breaking speed.
  2001.  
  2002. >Be Anon.
  2003. >Cleaning sucks.
  2004. >But at least it doesn't feel as bad if you're fucking jammin' to low effort, yet catchy, pop music.
  2005. >And you sure as shit are jammin'
  2006. >There ain't even a "g" on the end of that word you're cleaning so hard.
  2007. >This was long overdue and honestly it does feel kind of nice to finally stop putting it off.
  2008. >These fucking shorts though.
  2009. >Maybe you should've waited for Rarity to make you a mock up pair like she suggested.
  2010. >No use worrying about it now, this next song is your shit.
  2011. >Mutha fuckin' shake motherfucker!
  2012. >Aww yeah, you're spongebob-in', you're jivin', you're spinnin' and other stupid dancey shit.
  2013. "Achoo!"
  2014. >You sniffle and pull up your drooping shorts, again.
  2015. >Lots of dust and fur all over your floor now.
  2016. >Well, even more of it now that you dusted off everything else.
  2017. >Guess now's as good a time as any to vacuum up.
  2018. >You dance over to your hall closet that you just recently organized into the appearance of a non-mess.
  2019. >It's still totally a mess, but not if you're just putting a coat in there really quick or something.
  2020. >Moving both quickly and precisely you pull your trusty vacuum out of the closet and shut the door before anything else gets disturbed.
  2021. >You plug the sucker in to the nearest outlet and kick that shit on.
  2022. >"-This. Sick. Beat."
  2023. "Oh Taylor, what do you know about sick beats..."
  2024. >Man you love this part though.
  2025. "Oh my god~! Priceless."
  2026. >You've been working closer to the living room by walking it backwards.
  2027. >Not the most efficient way of doing it but it became something of a habit.
  2028. "Damn."
  2029. >Sounds like you're really pulling up some stuff, you've never heard your vacuum thump like that.
  2030. >Have you even used the damn thing since arriving here?
  2031. >Man, you're such a fucking slob.
  2032. >"-on"
  2033. >Was that someone outside?
  2034. >You take a look outside your window and see Rainbow Dash zooming around outside.
  2035. >Her mouth is moving really widely but you can really hear her over the sound of the music and vacuum.
  2036. >You hold out your hand to hopefully send the message of "gimmie a second to get to my door."
  2037. >Oh good, she got your message since she's flying closer to-
  2038. *CRASH*
  2039. >"GET OFF OF HIM!" Rainbow snarls as bits of glass go flying everywhere.
  2040. "Rainbow! Jes- AAH!"
  2041. >One shard that must have been carried in on her tail whips you across the face and you feel a sting along your cheek.
  2042. >While you're dazed she shoves you, hard, and sends your back flying against the wall.
  2043. >"STAY BACK ANON! I'LL HANDLE THIS... THIS MONSTER!" she roars.
  2044. >The sight before you is something you're never going to forget.
  2045. >Nor are you ever going to let her live down.
  2046. >Taylor Swift is blasting on your speakers.
  2047. >Rainbow is flaring her wings out furiously at your vacuum while she takes rapid bats at it's hard plastic surface.
  2048. >She's literally bobbing and weaving against a stationary vacuum.
  2049. >You'd stop her if you could, but you're just fucking losing it.
  2050. >"HAD ENOUGH OF THAT?! HOW BOUT SOME OF THI-AAAAH" she squeals.
  2051. >Her tail got sucked up at the bottom.
  2052. >She panics and kicks the fuck out of your vacuum toppling it over, and sending herself airborne and into the wall above you.
  2053. >Drywall rains down on you as she shakes the daze off and dives down at your vacuum again.
  2054. >You shout everything you can think of to get her to stop while she continues her epic battle and adds her own shouts as well.
  2055. >"BEARING YOUR TEETH AT ME HUH? HOW BOUT I BREAK 'EM THEN?!" she shouts, followed by something that's between a whinny and a growl as she swings at the air with her forehooves.
  2056. >Nothing you shout stops her, and the damn pegasus is too fast for you to grab her.
  2057. >"ANON! IT'S GOT ME! SAVE YOURSELF!" she begs as she struggles to pull her mane out of the vacuum.
  2058. >Finally realizing the best solution to this whole ordeal is to turn the damn thing off you dive over your couch and scramble to unplug the damn thing.
  2059. >You hear a loud crash followed by lung achingly loud coughing, "POISION?! ... DAMN... Y-you..." she shouts between hacking coughs.
  2060. >You rip the power cord off from the wall, like it does you any fucking good now.
  2061.  
  2062. "Lyra honestly, as if the whole... situation... back by the markets wasn't enough" you grunt as she leads you closer to Anon's home.
  2063. >"Oh come on, she was totally into it! You were there."
  2064. "How do you know that? Remember the last time? When you thought Cheerilee was "totally into it"."
  2065. >Lyra blows raspberries at you, "I'm still sure she is, that whole Hearts and Hooves thing was all an act. As for Anon, Flitter told me she's game, if not a little shy, last time she was visiting."
  2066. "Flitter?"
  2067. >"Yeah, they were each other's dates for Hearts and Hooves."
  2068. >This is news to you.
  2069. >Lyra notices your change in face and raises her eyebrows at you, "So, guess now you're not going to try and stop me huh?"
  2070. >You can feel the heat radiating off of your muzzle.
  2071. "Y-yes!... I still think your way of "making best friends" is still a little much."
  2072. >"Admit it, you want to know what those fingers are like right?"
  2073. >The heat seems to double in intensity.
  2074. "Sh-shut up!"
  2075. >"Aah!" you both hear over the loud noises coming from the Anon's home.
  2076. >"Rainbow! Oh god!"
  2077. "Sounded like Anon."
  2078. >"I've got you right where I want you!"
  2079. >"Yeah, and that sounds like..." she gasps, "Rainbow Dash?!"
  2080. >Lyra starts trampling the ground underneath her with exceitement, "more friends!" she squeaks.
  2081. >"Oh fuck Rainbow! You're hurting-" Anon grunts.
  2082. >Oh goodness.
  2083. >"Oh Yeah! Those two really know how to throw down!" Lyra chirps as she trots closer.
  2084. >You bite her tail and yank her back over to you.
  2085. "I don't know Minty, It sounds like-" a loud crash sounds from his home which is followed by a grunt from Rainbow Dash, "-like they're a little much."
  2086. >"Oh Bonnie, you think everything is "a little much". They're having fun, what's wrong with that?"
  2087. >You frown.
  2088. "I don't know... It's just, you know I don't really like being so open about ... things like that."
  2089. >"Got my whole hoof do you?!"
  2090. "I just think they make US look bad..."
  2091. >Lyra giggles, "Oh Bon Bon, you're so cute when you're all prudish. I think it's sweet that they throw common decency to the wind"
  2092. >"It's all over my face!" Anon shouts.
  2093. >You scrunch your muzzle at what you can only imagine is going on in there.
  2094. >Sure sounds like the kind of girl Flitter would be into, though if she's calling this shy what does Flitter consider normal?!
  2095. >"Why don't we let the lovebirds have their fun, we can come back some other time-" Lyra says as she nudges your side with hers.
  2096. >You nod and make your way back towards home with your marefriend trotting happily alongside you.
  2097. >"And why don't we have a little fun of our own..." she whispers into your ear as her horn begins glowing gold.
  2098. >You pick up the pace just a little bit more.
  2099.  
  2100. >"So you use that- that... Tartarus summoned thing to clean with?"
  2101. >You sigh into the palms of your hand as you rub your eyelids with the tips of your fingers to keep from getting a headache.
  2102. "For the hundredth time. Yes! It's not alive, it's not some mutant changeling, that wasn't a poisonous cloud you inhaled, it is a machine. Just like my t.v. and my computer. Am I clear?!"
  2103. >Rainbow sits sheepishly on your dusty couch with a hoof to her chin, "Are you su-"
  2104. "I swear to all the gods Rainbow. If there aren't any here then I will create them. I will become a messiah, I will name disciples, I will build churches, all so I can swear to these gods that I am going to kill you if you ask me "Am I sure?" one more time."
  2105. >"Alright already, no need to get your teats in a twist" she grumbles.
  2106. >This nigga.
  2107. >"No wait I didn't me-"
  2108. "Teats in a- Bitch you just trashed my fucking living room. Literally, there is trash everywhere. Th- look at my walls! You left holes all over the place! You're goddamn right I'm going to twist my teats, I'll twist whatever the fuck I want!"
  2109. >"No! Anon, please stop yelling. I didn't mean to say that I keep forgetting that- th-..."
  2110. "Forgetting what?!"
  2111. >She winces as you shout at her.
  2112. >Alright, relax. The damage is done, yelling at her won't fix anything even if it kind of does make you feel better.
  2113. "Look, I'm sorry okay?"
  2114. >"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who trashed your house."
  2115. "Yeah, but yelling at you won't make it better. It just makes my throat hurt."
  2116. >"I'm really sorry Anon, I thought you were in danger..." she mumbles.
  2117. >You plop yourself down on the couch next to her, a plume of dust rises up from the couch and sends you both into coughing and sneezing fits.
  2118. "I know you did Dashie." you respond after finally clearing out your throat.
  2119. >You scratch her head much in the same way you did with the family dog whenever you were frustrated back on Earth.
  2120. >She gasps and you can feel her wing nudge you in the side, "Wh-what are you doing Anon?" she mumbles.
  2121. "Thinking."
  2122. >"A-ab-ab- ACHOO!" she goes to wipe her nose with a forearm but pauses just before she makes contact and glances around the dirty room frantically instead.
  2123. >You pull the sofa cloth sample you were han- hoofed while asking about your chair and hand it to the sniffling mare.
  2124. >She blows her nose and offers you a small thanks before continuing her original statement, "What are you thinking about?" she asks with a touch of fear still in her voice from earlier.
  2125. "How the hell I'm going to get this all cleaned up by tomorrow."
  2126. >"We-"
  2127. "And just how much your dumb ass owes me for wrecking my place, hero."
  2128. >Rainbow clamps her mouth shut after your little quip.
  2129. >You give her a light tap on the shoulder with your fist.
  2130. "C'mon Dash what's with you? Not gonna fire back with something? Too tired from getting your ass handed to you by my vacuum?"
  2131. >"Oh I'll have you firing on my ba- ah, I mean... uh, I can fix this!"
  2132. "Psh, sure you can-"
  2133. >"I can! I just need to call in a few favors. This place is going to need a lot more wingpower than I can do by myself."
  2134. >She looks serious, and remorseful still.
  2135. >There's no way in hell you'd be able to clean this up by tomorrow night even with just the two of you.
  2136. "Alright, but I need this cleaned up by tonight. Think you can do that?"
  2137. >"Psh, who do you think you're talking to here? There's nothing I can't do."
  2138. >Except win against a vacuum.
  2139. "And the place will be like new?"
  2140. >"Yup! Oh, except for the walls and stuff" she says as her ears droop.
  2141. >You sigh.
  2142. "Goddamn it Dash, the hell am I gonna do with a clean but broken living room?"
  2143. >"Go ask Applejack? She raises barns and stuff, maybe she can do this stuff too" Rainbow responds as she nudges a fairly sizeable hole.
  2144. >More drywall falls out of it and Rainbow immediately retracts her hoof while laughing nervously.
  2145. >Like you've got any better options at this point.
  2146. "Fine. I'll be back as soon as I can to help. Please don't smash more things, I really need to make the place look presentable by tomorrow night."
  2147. >"Take your time Anon, you can't really help anyway since you're a guy and all- a w-wingless guy I mean..."
  2148. >She's always had your back up until today...
  2149. >You remind her again that it's important she get this cleaned up as soon as possible before heading out to Sweet Apple Acres.
  2150. >"Wait!" Rainbow calls as floats along next to you, "Why do you need this all by tomorrow night anyway?"
  2151. "If you must know, Rarity asked me out on a date and I'd really like for her not to see me living in a dump" you respond while not breaking your pace.
  2152. >Rainbow falls back, probably to cash in on those favors she needs to clean up your place.
  2153. >At least that's where she better be headed, you're a little too occupied with getting your walls fixed to focus on where she's headed.
  2154.  
  2155. >Be Rainbow Dash.
  2156. >Rarity did WHAT?!
  2157.  
  2158. >Well this is all less than ideal.
  2159. >Totally should've tried putting an end to it as soon as she broke through your window, but it really was fucking hilarious in that moment to see her trying to fake out your vacuum cleaner.
  2160. >Hell, you can find some humor in it now that you've calmed down a decent bit during the walk to Sweet Apple Acres.
  2161. >The sligth sag in your shorts reminds you of the urgency you had shortly after leaving your dump of a housepartment.
  2162. >Rarity, your place needs to look spiffy as fuck if you're going to have any hope of impressing her tomorrow.
  2163. >You're just a guy after all, she could probably just pick up another with no problems.
  2164. >Man being a chick is such easy mode bullshit, probably wouldn't even matter what your place looked like so long as the bed was clean.
  2165. >"Howdy there Anon!"
  2166. >You fidget, but only because you resisted the urge to jump and yelp like a bitch.
  2167. >Below you, well below you stands the tiniest Apple in the family.
  2168. "Hey Applebloom."
  2169. >"Did I scare ya? Come on 'Non you've gotta be tougher n'that" she says as she tries to nudge your leg.
  2170. >She underestimates just how much more mass you have then her and bounces away from your leg and onto the ground.
  2171. "I think I'm plenty tough" you goad while kneeling down to help her back onto her little hooves.
  2172. >She bats away your hand in a fluster, "I can get up by m'self" she huffs as she rises.
  2173. >Fuck you too tiniest horse.
  2174. >"So, what brings you by Anon?"
  2175. "Oh sh- right. I need to talk to your sister, is she busy?"
  2176. >"She left to the market square to run the stand for a little while."
  2177. >Damn.
  2178. "Okay, how about your brother? I bet he's probably more who I'm looking for anyway."
  2179. >Applebloom looks you over and squints, "He's with m'sister." she says almost threateningly.
  2180. >Well, as threatening as a tiny cute pone can be anyway.
  2181. >You think about how you must look right about now.
  2182. >Dirty, banged up, and wearing baggy clothes, no shit she's feeling protective you look like you just fought and robbed some hobos.
  2183. "Of course." you grumble, "Guess that's where I'm headed then. Thanks Applebloom" you say as you spin and had back towards town.
  2184. >"Anon!" she calls, "Y'all best keep in mind that Applejack'll be keepin' right close to m'brother. Right close!"
  2185. >Okay? If anything that probably works out in your favor, double the sources of info and potential workforce? Yes please.
  2186. "I got it thanks!" You shout over your shoulder.
  2187.  
  2188. >You get a few stares as you make your way through town to reach the square.
  2189. >Most notably from the stallions, they take much longer looks at you than just passing surprise at your dishevelled appearance.
  2190. >Hmm, you must look hard as fuck to them.
  2191. >Might as well take the chance to get some props.
  2192. >You make sure to give them all a "sup" nod as they watch you pass by.
  2193. >The market comes into view shortly, and the apple family stand even shorter than that.
  2194. >You stride up to it and greet the brother sister team running the stand.
  2195. "Applejack, Mac, I really need some help."
  2196. >Big Mac is in the middle of a sale.
  2197. >Applejack is polishing up her basket of apples, "Sure thing part-" she looks over her shoulder at you, "Sweet Celestia Anon! What in tarnation happened to ya?!"
  2198. "Well Rainbow Dash- look  it's not important. Can you guys repair drywall?"
  2199. >"I don't think a dry wall needs fixin' Anon, it s'possed to be like that. Y'all don't have any wet walls normally do ya? Cause that does need fixin'."
  2200. >Fuck.
  2201. >"We- now hold on a minute here sugarcube, you're tellin' me that Rainbow did this to you?" Applejack asks somewhat aggressively.
  2202. >Ah shit, this probably does look bad to her.
  2203. >Mac finished his sale and looks like he's mirin' how tough and shit you look though.
  2204. >This nigga gets it, but you probably shouldn't make it a big deal in front of Applejack.
  2205. "Well... she was around when this happened yes but it really looks worse than it is. I don't really want to get into it right now though, I really need to figure out some way to patch up my walls."
  2206. >"She put holes in your walls?!"
  2207. >You hold a fist over your lips as you think about how to phrase this next part to sound as casual as possible.
  2208. "Technically yes, but it was kind of my own fault. I should've defused things right from the start but-"
  2209. >"Now I don't want to hear none of that here Anon, y'all know it ain't ever your fault no mare should ever hit-"
  2210.  
  2211. >A stallion?
  2212. >Is that what you were going to say Applejack, after you all had agreed not to spill Anon's "secret"?
  2213. >Mac's heard every single word!
  2214. >You got so flustered at the thought of Rainbow hitting a stallion that you just spoke without thinking.
  2215. >He was trying his best to talk it all down, trying to keep his dignity, but you can see right through his facade.
  2216. >He may look masculine compared to the female sketch Twilight sent you, but he still looks too marely in your opinion.
  2217. >Marely looking or no, no stallion deserves to be treated like that.
  2218. >Rainbow Dash is better than this, you thought so anyway.
  2219. >...You didn't actually finish that thought did you?
  2220. >Think mare, think!
  2221. "H-hit our resident... visitor from another world. You're the only one of you we have, can't have some VERY FOALISH mares like Rainbow Dash goin' and roughin' you up."
  2222. >Anonymous smiles, and the ache your heart feels for his plight lightens a little.
  2223. >It's so much harder to keep quiet about Anon's gender than you thought.
  2224. >Need to be more cautious about your words, like a colt should be after the sun goes down.
  2225. >"Heh, maybe you could give Rainbow a reminder of that sometime."
  2226. >Oh you'll be sure to do just that as soon as you can, but Anon's wellbeing comes first...
  2227. "Mac, y'all don't mind taking Anon here out shopping for some paintings and such right? Reckon that'll be a good fix, put some pretty where the ugly was."
  2228. >Your older brother nods enthusiastically, "Nnope!"
  2229. >"Paintings? Hey yeah! That could work!" Anon chirps.
  2230. >You pull out the sack of bits you both earned so far and toss it onto the stand.
  2231. "Here, on me sugarcube."
  2232. >"Whoa, AJ you don't have to-"
  2233. "I won't hear none of it Anonymous. What with your "axel" thing our savings are lookin' better n'ever. So I want y'all to have a nice time out and enjoy yourselves" you command.
  2234. >Big Mac takes the bit bag in his mouth, "eeyup!" he says through gritted teeth.
  2235. >Anon begins to protest again before being nudged away by your brother.
  2236. >"Alrigth alright. he says to your brother, "Hey, I promise I won't take up your offer today AJ" Anon jokingly calls back over his shoulder.
  2237. >Offer?
  2238. >It baffles you how you didn't notice his coltish mannerisms until now, poor stallion must be so shaken up that he won't admit to taking your money since Big Mac too-
  2239. >Your brother slides over more to walk right next to Anonymous, and now you remember what "offer" Anon was talking about.
  2240. >If he still remembers that...
  2241. >But that ain't right!
  2242. >It's wrong. So wrong. So very VERY wrong...
  2243. >Dang it Applejack, that's your brother you're thinking about!
  2244. >Well, Anon could use the support of another stallion right about now.
  2245. >You'll just have to hope none of it leads anywhere.
  2246. >Like into your brother's room, that shares a wall with yours-
  2247. >No! Focus girl!
  2248. >You flip the sign on your stand to let anypony know that you'll be back soon.
  2249. >A good flank kicking should only take a few minutes after all...
  2250.  
  2251. "So uh, how many paintings do you think I could get with those bits? I'm gonna need... well, quite a few."
  2252. >Big Mac glances up at you briefly before crossing his eyes to look down at the bit bag in his mouth.
  2253. >You wait for a moment, but he still continues trotting along while staring at the bag of coins.
  2254. >Don't know why you thought making small talk would make this whole ordeal go smoother.
  2255. >You like Big Mac just fine, but trying to make conversation with him is a little difficult.
  2256. >So far you've just been kind of wandering the markets and he's been gently nudging you in the direction you need to go rather thank just tell you.
  2257. >He's usually quiet, but now you're starting to think that maybe he has some kind of phobia.
  2258. >He's sticking close enough to you that you can feel his fur brush against your shorts, and now that you're thinking on it he's always seemed more quiet if you're all out and ab-
  2259. "Three" he eventually responds, breaking your train of thought.
  2260. "Huh? Oh. I was uh, kind of hoping for more than that actually."
  2261. >You hear the coins jingle and look down to see his muzzle scrunched as if deep in thought.
  2262. >Or well, maybe deeper in thought?
  2263. >The guy always seems very pensive.
  2264. "Say Mac?" he relaxes his mouth and glances up at you with the same kind green eyes he always has, "Are you okay? Like in public and stuff I mean?"
  2265. >Mac's eyes dart to the floor for a time before shifting back up again, "With you?" he asks hesitantly.
  2266. >Do you cause problems in public? Why would he single you ou-
  2267. >Oh, now you're starting to get it.
  2268. >There are some stares.
  2269. >Some of the ladies are talking amongst themselves and nodding in your direction when you both pass by.
  2270. >Guys are doing it too, you'd just been waving back when they wave cheerfully at you both without thinking about how often.
  2271. >Only reason you're making note of that now is because Mac has been brushing up against you each time you waved.
  2272. "Well, I guess I do mean with me. You don't mind do you?"
  2273. >Figured the novelty of "the alien" would've worn off by now, but it seems you just got used to it and now shy guys like Mac are having to deal with the fallout.
  2274. >"Nnope" he responds quickly and nudges you again.
  2275. >Huh, well maybe he's just saying that so you don't feel too bad.
  2276. >You follow his nudge and go to turn but he bites your shirt and tugs you back.
  2277. >Oh, he was just fucking with you with that last shove.
  2278. >Man, he's such a bro and you're not even picking up on it, why don't you guys hang out more often?
  2279. >You don't actually have any guy friends now that you're thinking about it, there is Spike, but he's more of a little brother.
  2280. >Applebloom or Applejack were always inviting themselves along when you asked Mac to hang out, and it just became an "Apple day" if you remember right.
  2281. >"Here" Big Mac says, breaking you from your thoughts once again.
  2282. >He's starting to rub off on you, you're not even sure how long you were both walking in silence for.
  2283. "Hmm, this place sure looks fancy... probably fancy costs too huh?"
  2284. >"Eeyup."
  2285. "Well... maybe they've got good a good sale going on eh? I really need more than three paintings."
  2286. >Big Mac blocks the entryway into the art tent and pushes you back slightly, "eeyup" he responds while shooting you a wink.
  2287. >Mac raises his tail and walks into the tent with his head held high.
  2288. >Is he really going to try wooing the merchant for you?
  2289. >Fucking bro tier shit man, you have GOT to hang after this.
  2290.  
  2291. "Come on, where is he?" you grumble to yourself.
  2292. >It can't take that long to get to the farm and back.
  2293. >No way in tartarus are you going to be doing beta bastard work while Rarity gets to run around as the alpha.
  2294. >Nope, you're going to settle things with Anon here and now.
  2295. >The alpha title in the herd is yours to have.
  2296. >After you've cleared that up you'll have your pals help you whip up a tornado to get his place cleaned up in a jiffy.
  2297. "He just needs to get his sweet ass over here!" you shout to the open sky.
  2298. >"For shame. Woulda thought your pa raised you better n'this Dash."
  2299. >Huh? That sounded lik-
  2300. *WHAM*
  2301. >Anypony get the make of that chariot?
  2302. >"Don't y'all worry none sugarcube, I'll make sure the lesson sticks this time" growls the orange blob.
  2303. >You shake the daze, and the tiny angelic Anons playing harps around your head, away and take off to the sky out of instinct.
  2304. >"Oh no ya don't! Get back here ya varmint!"
  2305. >You feel a gentle brush of something against your barrel.
  2306. >Before you can even recognize it for what it is, the brush quickly turns into a tight squeeze that clamps your wings to your back.
  2307. >You struggle and kick, but you can feel your momentum slow.
  2308. "Uh oh..."
  2309. >Your momentum begins picking up again as you plummet towards the ground.
  2310. "Oof!"
  2311. >A plume of dirt surrounds you, "Won't even stand and fight like a mare, no wonder y'all are goin' after Anon like ya were" says the silhouette just beyond.
  2312. >The dirt settles down and you see Applejack standing there before you, "Howdy" she growls.
  2313. "Applejack?! What's the big idea!" you grunt, "Lemme outta this thing."
  2314. >You try biting the rope and kicking all around but can't free yourself.
  2315. >"Sure don't feel right feeling helpless and all eh? I sure hope y'all keep this in mind from now on."
  2316. >What is she on about?!
  2317. >Your dad?
  2318. >Some lessons?
  2319. >Feeling helpless?
  2320. >And she said something else before this...
  2321. >But what was-
  2322. >Applejack lets out a loud whistle, "Hoo boy, I'm thinkin' that boy's gonna need more bits than I gave him for this."
  2323. >She's standing between you and Anon's plac-
  2324. >"Goin' after Anon like ya were..."
  2325. >Oh no!
  2326. >She couldn't seriously be thinking that could she?!
  2327. >She's going after Anon too!?
  2328. >Oh if that doesn't just-
  2329. "Alright, you, and Rarity, and everypony else needs to just cool it for a minute!"
  2330. >Applejack scoffs at you, "Cool it? And just let you dominate however ya please?"
  2331. "You're damn right Applejack!" you snap back while rising to your hooves.
  2332. >"Y'all are talkin' nonsense there Rainbow, honestly it's disgustin' that you really think this is how it's s'possed t'be."
  2333. >You being the alpha is nonsense?
  2334. >It's disgusting?!
  2335. >Sure, maybe being in the reserves isn't as immediately glamorous as having your own farm, but you're going to be a Wonderbolt anyday now and there's no doubt in your mind that you deserve to be the alpha.
  2336. >Just gotta show her the old fashioned way...
  2337. >You dig into the dirt with your rearhooves.
  2338. >Muscles tense up as you ready your charge.
  2339. "I'll show you nonsense" you mutter.
  2340. >"Say what n-OOF!"
  2341. >You grunt as your shoulder makes contact with Applejack's chest.
  2342. >Your charge doesn't stop there though, you carry her with nothing more than your top sprint.
  2343. >Until you trip over a rock and propel both you and Applejack into the air and into-
  2344. *CRASH*
  2345. >You're splayed out on Anon's dirty floor.
  2346. >Applejack is on her back on Anon's dirty couch.
  2347. >The perfect chance to strike!
  2348. >You lunge towards your beta-to-be only to be halted mid pounce by her farm toughened hooves.
  2349. >"Granny Smith would had my hide pinned by now"Applejack says playfully, "This here's nothin' compared to when she'd hit the cider a little too much and I didn't finish all o' m'chores as a filly."
  2350. >With a grunt she bucks you into the air and sends you over Anon's coffee table.
  2351. *CRASH*
  2352. >Or well you thought it was sending you over.
  2353. >"Darn, must've gotten worn out while pulling the wagon up to the mark-"
  2354. >You recovered quick, just like you had trained at the academy and land a solid hook.
  2355. >She responds with a tackle of her own and you both go tumbling all over Anon's living room.
  2356. >You kick and she punches.
  2357. >She kicks and you punch.
  2358. >The blows come faster and faster until you're both tumbling and swinging like blue and orange blurs.
  2359. >Everything gets harder to see as you both kick up more and more dust from around Anon's home.
  2360. >But neither of you are willing to give up the alpha spot so easily and continue fighting through the fading vision.
  2361.  
  2362. "Jeez Mac, I can't believe you managed to snag all of these. You're the best!" you chirp while ruffling Big Mac's dusty orange mane.
  2363. >"Eeyup!" he responds with a light chuckle as he pushes his head against your palm.
  2364. >You're toting around something like twelve paintings.
  2365. >They're not the most complex paintings, but they certainly seem "Rarity" enough you think.
  2366. "Say, you wanna grab a bite to eat or something? My treat of course."
  2367. >He totally saved your ass after all you owe him this much at least.
  2368. >And if you manage to get some ass because of this you're going to owe him way more than an ice cream cone.
  2369. >Big Mac nods excitedly.
  2370. >Fella must really like ice cream.
  2371. >You should totally do a guys night out with Spike and Mac!
  2372. >...Except maybe make it sound less gay than that.
  2373. >You both walk up to Coldstone's Creamery where the ivory coated unicorn awaits your order.
  2374. >"I'll have... uh... red delicious?"
  2375. >That's a flavor?
  2376. >"You got it!" Coldstone responds as she trots off to the freezers behind her.
  2377. "W-wai-" you stammer out with a hand extended before dropping it in acceptance of your out loud thinking.
  2378. >Ah, whatever it sounds good anyway.
  2379. >She flicks her cherry red mane out of her face as she levitates the cone to you.
  2380. >"And for you handsome?" she coos while facing Big Mac.
  2381. >Mac keeps his eyes locked on the sign, a flustered look all over his face.
  2382. >Oh, right, you hardly gave him any time to decide, poor guy must be getting nervous from all the options.
  2383. >His eyes dart over to you for a moment, "P-pistachio" he mutters out.
  2384. >Coldstone looks somewhat deflated by his answer.
  2385. >Uh oh, sounds like she's ou-
  2386. >"Comin' right up" she responds with a little less enthusiasm.
  2387. >Oh, guess she's just running low.
  2388. >"Alright lovebirds, that'll be three bits" she says as she floats the cone before you.
  2389. >You and Mac chuckle at the idea as you drop the bits on her counter and take the other cone in your hand.
  2390. >Note to self, get ice cream in advance of, the less gay sounding, "Bro Night" so you don't accidentally send any mixed signals like you are today.
  2391. >Coldstone motions you closer with her head while Mac scans the area for a spot to sit down at, "Lemme know if you two are ever in the mood for a scoop of peppermint eh?" she whispers.
  2392. >"Anon" Mac calls and you follow his pointed hoof to a table bench that just opened up.
  2393. "Will do Coldstone, thanks!" you call back to the unicorn mare as you leave to catch up to Mac.
  2394. >You plop yourself down next to him and hold out his cone in front of him.
  2395. >He stares at it for a moment.
  2396. "If you wait too much longer, It'll start dripping all over me."
  2397. >Big Mac nods and lowers his head to take a bite out of the bright green mound on the cone.
  2398. >You dig into your solid red ice cream as well, not wanting it to melt on your either.
  2399. >Mac scoots closer to you as he continues snacking away.
  2400. >His moving allows you to rest your elbow on the table which is great because it was starting to get tired.
  2401. >You mumble a thank you through a mouthful of refreshingly cold ice cream.
  2402. >Mcintosh looks away as he pokes his tongue into what's left of his cone.
  2403. >Damn, he eats fast.
  2404. >You rush to catch up only to find yourself finished at the same time as he is.
  2405. >Turns out he really likes getting all the ice cream out of the cone before chomping down into it.
  2406. >To each his own, you like biting into a full cone since it seems to break less that when its empty.
  2407. >Yummy snack chilling happily in your stomach, all the paintings you'll need to cover the damage Rainbow left, and she's hopefully cleaned up the place by now. You can't help but smile at how well things have turned out despite the sour turn earlier today.
  2408. >Mac is looking pretty cheerful too.
  2409. >Oh, he also has some pistachio on his muzzle.
  2410. "Hey, Mac, hold still a second."
  2411. >You rub the spot but the ice cream won't come out.
  2412. >Is that even ice cream?
  2413. >You lean in to try getting a better look.
  2414. >Big Mac closes his eyes now that the sun is shining in them.
  2415. >Can't quite tell from here.
  2416. >His breath feels hot on your hand as you get closer and-
  2417. >"Pack it up everypony! We have to get the markets shut down asap! There's a level five fightcloud loose in the area" Mayor Mare states from the center of the market square.
  2418. >She's surrounded on both sides by guards with giant bug nets.
  2419. >That doesn't look too good.
  2420.  
  2421. >You break away from Mac, deciding that the urgency of the situation is greater than some spot of ice cream, and follow him back to the Apple stand.
  2422. >The totally empty apple stand.
  2423. "Where's your sister?"
  2424. >Big Mac shrugs and begins loading up the wagon himself.
  2425. >You set your paintings down help him get everything sorted.
  2426. >They made that "fightcloud" thing that's somewhere in the area seem like a big deal and with Applejack away it's be kind of a dick move to ditch your bro now.
  2427. >Mac locks himself into the wagon and utters a small sigh.
  2428. "Hey, thanks for everything Big Mac. You are totally amazing!"
  2429. >He smiles down at the ground.
  2430. "And if you want, maybe we could hang out sometime soon? Uh, not tomorrow though. Girl reasons and all y'know?"
  2431. >"Eeyup" he responds happily.
  2432. "Choice, if I see Applejack I'll let her know you've got all the stuff. Be careful on the way back alright?"
  2433. >Mac nods and you bend down to grab your tote full of paintings.
  2434. >As you do you feel a small nip at your ear and a mixed sound of squeaky wheels and heavy hooves on dirt.
  2435. >You jump up to see Mac trotting away, wagon in tow.
  2436. >He just bit your ear.
  2437. >Is that... is that like slugging another dude's arm?
  2438. >You'll have to ask someone about that later, maybe Pinkie?
  2439. >Several guards pass you by on the way home.
  2440. >You catch a few things as they pass by.
  2441. >"Blorange."
  2442. >"Heading west."
  2443. >"Originated nearby."
  2444. >It's been about half a year now and you're still learning about new magic horse shenanigans.
  2445. "Ho-ly shit."
  2446. >Your housepartment.
  2447. >God DAMN Rainbow!
  2448. >It's fucking spotless!
  2449. >Everything is spotless, not just your living room too. Everything!
  2450. >She even replaced your window, or at the very least got someone to do it.
  2451. >You totally forgot about getting it fixed, and didn't even ask her to do it, but she came through for you anyway.
  2452. >Holy hell is this one huge relief.
  2453. >And for a little while there you actually doubted her.
  2454. >Well fuck, you'd hug her until she turned blue if she was around, bu-
  2455. >No wait... until she turns blue-er?
  2456. >Whatever, you owe her-
  2457. >Oh right, the holes are still everywhere.
  2458. >Well, you've got paintings for this at least so you're willing to just call it even until you can figure out how to actually fix or replace your walls.
  2459. >You spend some time matching the painting's size to the damage size.
  2460. >It's not great, and damage still peeks out past some of the paintings, but if you went to a bigger size then the damage would be very noticeable on the one you switched with.
  2461. >So it'll have to be good enough.
  2462. >Now you just gotta actually hang them on your-
  2463. "FffffffffUCK!"
  2464. >Man a hammer and nails would be a great thing to have wouldn't it?
  2465. >Too bad all that shit is in your family's shed.
  2466. >Back home...
  2467. >On. Earth.
  2468. >And what with the fightcloud situation all the stores are locked up tight even though it's not all that late.
  2469. >Well... at least you can get the fancy dinner thing sorted right?
  2470. >You scribble down a quick note to Pinkie Pie asking for her help with making a fancy meal and to borrow a hammer and some nails if she has them.
  2471. >Aiming carefully you pop the cork of bottled dragonflame and ignite the paper in the emerald fire.
  2472. >Twilight had her mind blown when you explained what the "magic glass" that was your phone could do.
  2473. >Text messaging was something that really stuck with her after that week's "Learning Day" apparently.
  2474. >She strolled around town a few days later passing out bottled dragonflames for stallions to use in the event of an "emergency."
  2475. >You and Rainbow laughed at how forward she was being.
  2476. >It's like it wasn't even a secret that she wanted booty calls.
  2477. >At the time you didn't know her as well as you do now, it's still kind of funny but you realize now that she was being genuine.
  2478. >Their usefulness caught on and eventually Equestria entered some kind of partnership with the dragons to mass produce these things.
  2479. >Since you were somewhat responsible for it, you get them for free, which isn't as great as a cut of the sales, but you really didn't provide much anyway.
  2480. >Orange sparkles begin forming in your kitchen.
  2481. >Oh good, she's responded.
  2482. >You forget, as you often do, to look away from the fire when it flares up and are temporarily blinded.
  2483. >"Waagh!"
  2484. *WHAM*
  2485. >You rub your eyes and look down to see Pinkie sitting on your floor with scorch marks all over her and the tip of her mane is on fire.
  2486. "Jesus Ponk! When I asked you to come over I figured you'd have walked."
  2487. >She still sits there, with a surprised look on her face.
  2488. "Pinkie?"
  2489. >"I think... I fell... on the nails" she squeaks.
  2490.  
  2491. "So..."
  2492. >You dab a wet rag on Pinkie's face and wipe away the soot mark on her muzzle.
  2493. >"I couldn't get the cork off the bottle so I used my mouth! I've got hoovsies not handsies like you, see!" she whines while shoving her hooves in your face.
  2494. "Oh don't give me that, I've seen you grab plenty of things with one hoof before" you respond while batting away her hooves.
  2495. >Pinkie sits there with a heart achingly cute pout, she's making a point to look away from you.
  2496. >You roll your eyes and grab another bandage from the box.
  2497. >Her eyes dart over to your hands when she feels a gentle tugging on her curly mane.
  2498. >She sees a bandage wrapped around the burnt tip of her mane and cracks a small smile.
  2499. >Pinkie giggles and you join in on the laughter when she boops one on your face.
  2500. >One pack of bandages later and you're both aproned up and ready to cook.
  2501. >"So first thing's first, you need to really whisk these nails up good. Otherwise the casserole won't hold up."
  2502. "Right, whisk the- wait did you say-"
  2503. >Pinkie pours the box of nails into one of your bowls and goes digging into one of your drawers for a whisk.
  2504. "Pinkie."
  2505. >You walk over to stand next the pink butt that's wiggling left and right as her upper half digs around in your drawers.
  2506. >"Yeah Nonny?" her muffled voice calls from inside.
  2507. "Who eats nails and hammers for a fancy meal?"
  2508. >"I dunno, maybe Cranky doodle? He likes being difficult, hardware casserole seems like just his kind of thi-"
  2509. >You hear a loud gasp followed by a pounding thud and a quiet "owie."
  2510. >Pinkie emerges from your drawer with less bandages on her face than she had when she entered.
  2511. >"You're gonna have a fancy dinner with Cranky Doodle?! But- but- he's married! Th-that's forbidden love..." she whispers that last part wile face to face with you.
  2512. >The tension in the air is high, until you break it when another bandage falls off her cheek and you break out into laughter.
  2513. "No I'm not having dinner with Cranky Doodle, I was trying to make a point. I don't need the hammer and nails for the dinner Pinkie" you respond while pouring the nails back into the box.
  2514. >She looks confused until you turn her head to look into your living room, "Ohhhhh."
  2515. "Yeah. But I can worry about that later now that I actually have a hammer and some nails."
  2516. >Pinkie nods in agreement and claps her hooves together and pushes them away from her chest.
  2517. >You hear several pops followed by a relieved sigh, "Alrighty, let's get to work then Nonners!"
  2518. >Yeah, you're not even going to address that one.
  2519.  
  2520. >You trot over to your mirror.
  2521. >The same pale pink face you've known all your life stares back at you.
  2522. >Lifeless mane, flat and straight hangs down your face.
  2523. >You are Pinkamena Diane Pie, serial helper.
  2524. >When it comes to how seriously you take your special talent, you prefer the term "clinical".
  2525. >It sounds more official like, you think.
  2526. >"Psychopath" is just ugly, makes ponies think about hatchet wielding cupcake makers.
  2527. >Both words are a means for the same end when it comes to you: devoid of emotional attachment.
  2528. >So does it really matter?
  2529. >Yes.
  2530. >Appearances are everything in this world, from a mane style, to a cutie mark.
  2531. >And in this world... you are a chameleon, ready to change at will for whatever need you have to fulfil.
  2532. >Maybe it's why you got an alligator for a pet...another coldblooded being.
  2533. >You could've been master of anything, but none of it felt like it was worth your time.
  2534. >Fear? Fear is easy.
  2535. >Hold a canon in somepony's face, boom, you'll see fear.
  2536. >Hurting, hurting is even easier.
  2537. >Really, it's like the simplest solution to a problem with somepony else.
  2538. >"I wanna hurt that mare. How do I hurt that mare?" you ask your reflection, to which it shrugs.
  2539. >Frozen rubber chicken, butcher knife, crossbow, giant hammer, alligator flail, mega party canon, there's always new ways to do it, but it's nothing new itself.
  2540. >But making somepony happy?
  2541. >Now you've got a challenge.
  2542. >THAT is throwing the hardest party.
  2543. >You glance around the room, it's makeshift, but it'll do for now, a literal spiderweb of yarn connecting dates with pictures.
  2544. >Everypony the world over is catalogued and detailed in your hidden room, but even when you're away from it you can see it in your mind.
  2545. >Likes and dislikes.
  2546. >Birthdays, anniversaries, they celebrate it, you're throwing it.
  2547. >Others may experiment with hurting, or abusing to see how deep their emotional void goes, to know that they can't feel it.
  2548. >You took a different path, the harder path; you make others laugh, or smile, or cry (with joy that is).
  2549. >It became an addiction, you knew it after the first party you threw for your family.
  2550. >Seeing their happiness didn't affect you in the slightest, but you did... enjoy? being able to control their emotions.
  2551. >They were only happy because YOU made them that way.
  2552. >You cracked through the gruffest donkey to have ever lived.
  2553. >By the time you were done with him, his face hurt with how much he was grinning.
  2554. >Then there was Matilda's wedding.
  2555. >You knew Amethyst Star was feeling neglected after how much Twilight has done for the town.
  2556. >Derpy was worried that she'd never get to do anything meaningful.
  2557. >Rainbow was feeling hungry for some action after how Griffonstone went.
  2558. >Bon Bon was being eaten up inside over her continued double life that was hidden from Lyra.
  2559. >Octavia was an unexpected element in your whole plan...
  2560. >Hmm, you wish you could crack yourself up, of course you planned for her.
  2561. >She was in need of a kickstart to create music she felt was getting stale.
  2562. >Tearing through all of Ponyville may have been a little more than a kickstart, but it all worked out in the end.
  2563. >All according to keikaku.
  2564. >It sure sounds easy, but there were a lot of strings you had to pull for everything to come together, almost like it was scripted and you were just a background player.
  2565. >Fear is easy.
  2566. >Hurt is easy.
  2567. >Happiness is hard, and you're the best at making it.
  2568. >Nopony else could do what you do, all the ponytarians and charity workers do little for others, just prolong a series of miserable lives that aren't worth living.
  2569. >You take misery and turn it into something others might call beautiful.
  2570. >You don't believe in beauty, but you do believe in doing the hardest work one is capable of.
  2571. >And baby, you do the hardest work there is.
  2572.  
  2573. "Pinkie? I finished cutting all the vegetables, took forever... Pinkie?"
  2574. >You glance around the kitchen and living room to find nobody around.
  2575. >Damn it...
  2576. "You're not doing that monologue thing again are you?" you call out while walking to your bedroom.
  2577. >"N-nooooo" she responds through the door, rising slowly in pitch as she drags the vowel out.
  2578. >You can hear a loud rustling of paper and twings of some kind of string being pulled taught.
  2579. >You grab the doorknob to your room to which she instantly responds, "No wait! D-don't come in! I-I'M NAKED!"
  2580. "You're always naked" you remind her as you enter your bedroom.
  2581. >She's laying on the floor cocooned in a bundle of red yarn and silly doodles of everyone in Ponyville.
  2582. >Her mane is soaking wet to keep it straight.
  2583. >There's wet bandages everywhere.
  2584. >Pinkie's muzzle is stained dark red, and you can only guess that she swiped your blood orange when you weren't looking.
  2585. "Oh come on, I only bought one of those!"
  2586. >You sigh loudly as you set to work on freeing your pink friend from her yarn cocoon.
  2587. "I don't even know why I thought watching Dexter with you would be a good idea, this is why I only showed you Disney movies."
  2588. >"Can I hide my box of frosting smears behind your air conditioner?" she asks with puppy dog eyes.
  2589. "No Pinkie, I'm not enabling this. I don't even have an AC unit."
  2590. >Pinkie whines as you continue untangling her.
  2591. "Stupid yarn get off, I need you out of this. I don't know what to do next."
  2592. >"Don't worry Nonny, Pinkie's here for you." she chirps while trotting away.
  2593. >You look down to see your arms are bundled up now.
  2594. >Goddamn it Plenka.
  2595.  
  2596. >"Ooh,yeah~"
  2597. >Pinkie's legs weakly swing in the air from your effort.
  2598. >She's enjoying this so much her tongue is lolling out of her mouth.
  2599. >Her breathing quickens, "Yeah yeah... r-right there."
  2600. >You do as she says and maintain your pace.
  2601. >Pinkie moans and her hooves wrap around your arm to hold you in place, "Just a little more Nonny~"
  2602. >Finally satisfied Pinkie releases your arm, allowing you to explore her once more.
  2603. >"F-faster Anon, I need it faster."
  2604. >You quicken your pace amid a rise of "Oh"s, "Ooh"s, and "yes"s.
  2605. >Pinkie moves all around underneath you, kicking sometimes, biting her bottom lip when you hit a sweet spot.
  2606. >You're starting to feel tired...
  2607. >"AAhhh!" Pinkie finally cries out.
  2608. >She practically melts into your lap, completely satisfied.
  2609. >Pinkie's going to miss an important plo-
  2610. >Oh eww! She IS melting into your lap!
  2611. >Pinkie very quickly flips around onto her belly, and stretches herself as long as she can over your lap.
  2612. >"My belly's all scratched out now, I need those fingers all over my back."
  2613. "You're not even pretending to watch the movie anymore are you?"
  2614. >Her tongue pokes out and she's got a cheeky grin on her face, "Come oooon" she whines patting your couch with all four of her hooves that dangle away from your lap.
  2615. >You roll your eyes and get to work as you lean back into your couch to make yourself comfortable.
  2616. >Well if she's lost interest in the movie you've already seen countless times then there's no point in paying attention to it anymore.
  2617. "So are you sure we just leave it in the fridge until tomorrow? I thought you only did that for bread or something."
  2618. >"Nonny, I'm a professional here. Of course I'm sure."
  2619. "Your back leg is kicking my couch."
  2620. >"S-so! Professionals can enjoy ear scratches too" she huffs.
  2621. >You chuckle and continue idly rubbing her back with one hand and scratching an ear with the other.
  2622. >Several pets and scratches later the movie's credits roll.
  2623. "Hey, thanks for helping me hang the paintings. I don't think they would've looked half as good without you."
  2624. >"You flatterer you, I guess not everypony can know for sure if something's level or not."
  2625. >You're kind of thankful not to be able to tell honestly.
  2626. >She did great work, but she also took forever on each painting moving them fractions of an inch until they were "perfectly level".
  2627. >Rarity would probably appreciate that more than the small bits of damage that show behind some of the paintings right?
  2628. "Oh wow."
  2629. >Pinkie took longer than you thought.
  2630. >The party pony turns around to follow your gaze out the window, "It must be really late."
  2631. "Yeah, sorry about tha-"
  2632. >Pinkie jumps up from your lap and lands on her back on the cushion next to you, "Yay! That means it's slumber party time!"
  2633. >Her hooves go digging into your couch and she pulls out a huge bag of chips and what appears to be freshly made dip, "So I think we should start off with Ciderio Kart, you have cider ri-"
  2634. "Pinkie" you say as you rise out of the couch and stretch your tired limbs, "I'm way too tired for a slumber party, and don't you work early in the mornings?"
  2635. >She looks a little disappointed as she stuffs the food back into your couch, "No, I have the day off tomorrow..." she immediately returns to a bright smile, "oh, but I can sleep over still right?"
  2636. "Sure, if you want to play some games or whatever that's fine just try to keep it down if you lose" you goad.
  2637. >"Nah, I think I'm feeling sleepy too now" she mumbles while stretching "You're better than the spa ponies."
  2638. >You chuckle and head down the hall to your room.
  2639. >Pinkie follows close behind, only to run ahead and leap onto your bed before you even cross the doorway.
  2640. >You throw on your loose fitting pajamas in the dark and fall onto your bed right next to the outline you hope is Pinkie.
  2641. >She yelps as she's launched into the air and you grunt when she lands on your back.
  2642. >You both laugh as you get settled in with you laying on your stomach and Pinkie scooches in close so your arm drapes over her chest.
  2643. >She holds it in place with her forearms and breaths a comfortable sigh.
  2644. >Your eyelids feel heavy, your pillow very comfy, and the dog-like pony under your arm very warm.
  2645. >That is until she gasps loudly and wiggles out from under your arm, "I almost forgot about my jammies too!"
  2646. >Oh yeah, it's been a little while since you two did this.
  2647. "They were over there on the floor..." you point to the right corner of your room.
  2648. >"I don't see them anywhere" Pinkie's voice calls out in the dark.
  2649. >Oh right, Rainbow cleaned up everywhere.
  2650. >You hear her walking around and the sound of your dresser being opened a few times.
  2651. >"Nope. Nu-uh. Ooh, these feel fun! I think I fou- no wait, they're not- no wait they are! I found them."
  2652. >Man, she better not have thrown all that stuff on the floor.
  2653. "Are you sure you found them?"
  2654. >"Uh-huh, they're the only pink clothes you own."
  2655. >A pair of pink boxers you got as a gag gift once, and the pink shirt you got from that special edition Catherine game.
  2656. "Nice, I had no idea where they would've gone after Rainbow cleaned up."
  2657. >The room is silent until you hear a few grunts, "They don't fit" Pinkie whines.
  2658. "What?"
  2659. >"I said they don't fit" she repeats while grunting again.
  2660. "How can they not fit? They hang loosely on me, so they should be huge on you."
  2661. >Pinkie gets close enough for you to make out her general features, the silhouette tries, then fails once again to put them on, "I can't get them on Nonny."
  2662. "That's ridiculous, you're a little pony-"
  2663. >Pinkie quickly cups her hooves over her mouth and cuts you off in a raspy tone, "For you."
  2664. >Her grin couldn't possibly be wider as you glare.
  2665. "Oh goddamn it Ponk. That's not even how it goes!"
  2666. >She giggles as she slips on the boxers and pokes her tail trough the "front" hole.
  2667. >You slide over on the bed and listen to the rustle of her getting her shirt on.
  2668. >The mattress rocks slightly as she hops back up to join you.
  2669. >Pinkie stands next to you and plops herself down so your sides are touching.
  2670. >You turn to face her and she does the same to you.
  2671. "Night Pinkie."
  2672. >"Good night Nonny."
  2673. >Her head rests on your shoulder and you settle your back as deep into your shitty mattress as you can.
  2674. >"Psst, hey Nonny."
  2675. >You open one very heavy eyelid and see Pinkie's bright blue eyes inches away from yours.
  2676. "Yeah?"
  2677. >"Can I do the thing?"
  2678. >Shutting your eye again you grunt as you turn onto your side, facing away from the pink earth pony.
  2679. "Sure, just don't hit mach three" you yawn out.
  2680. >Pinkie gives a silent "yes" and scootches up close to you.
  2681. >Her forearms wrap around your neck, and one of her rearlegs goes over your waist.
  2682. >Your back is suddenly very warms as she snuggle in close.
  2683. >"Equestria we are go for liftoff in three, two, one..."
  2684. >She makes quiet whooshing noises as she rocks you back and forth, side to side.
  2685. >You watched Rocketeer together during what eventually became the first sleepover, and she loved the idea of a jetpack.
  2686. >Something about expanding her party possibilities.
  2687. >So now she likes riding piggy back, or jetpack as it were, if she can.
  2688. >Tiny horse whooshing makes for great white noise to fall asleep to.
  2689. >And that's just what you do.
  2690.  
  2691. >Your eyes resist as much as they can, but they eventually concede to the rest of your waking body and open to reveal your sunlit bedroom.
  2692. >"Nonny you've got too much mane in my face, it tickles my nose."
  2693. >She tends to mumble in her sl-
  2694. >"Ah-ACHOO!"
  2695. >The sudden loss of body heat coupled with the soft thump that sounded out from behind you leads you to believe that Pinkie just sneezed herself off of your bed.
  2696. "Pinkie are you alright?" you ask with a creakier voice than what normally accompanies morning talking.
  2697. >Pinkie's sitting on your floor in her loosely fitting "jammies", rubbing her eyes with her hooves.
  2698. >You brush away the hair that drapes down to cover your vision.
  2699. >Wait... since when do you have-
  2700. >Pinkie lets out a loud gasp, "Nonny! You're as pretty as that drawing Twilight handed out" she exclaims before clamping a hoof to her mouth, "Oops, I wasn't supposed to talk about that."
  2701. "Pretty? I'm no- is that me? Is this my voice?!" a much less creaky and far more feminine voice says.
  2702. >You look down only at yourself only to find some of your vision obscured by a nice set of tits.
  2703. >Tits that are attached to you!
  2704. >You step out of bed, only to find it a little higher than you were expecting and meet the floor with your face rather than your foot.
  2705. >A girlish yelp escapes your lips and you clasp your soft and dainty hands over your fuller feeling lips.
  2706. >"How'd you do this? Is it like a full moon kind of thing?" Pinkie asks, hoping all around your dazed form.
  2707. >Rising to your feet, you look yourself over in your bedroom mirror.
  2708. >But it's not you who looks back.
  2709. >You raise a shaky hand, and the voluptuous female in the mirror does the same.
  2710. >A gasp escapes your lips as you step closer and closer to the girl who matches your pace.
  2711. >You make contact with the cool reflective surface and see a shocked face looking back at you.
  2712. >This... this is going to make your date tonight very awkward...
  2713.  
  2714. “You know, I happen to think the dandelion is perfectly complemented by a touch of honey… though I will commend you for your originality, tears are an interesting way of adding salt to your tea.”
  2715. >Fluttershy continues sobbing on her couch, tears flying in a perfect arc into the tea cup you’ve levitated in front of her.
  2716. >A grimace forms on your face.
  2717. >She’s been like this for days now.
  2718. >Ever since she learned the truth about the otherworlder Anonymous.
  2719. >While you despise him for what he’s done to dearest Fluttershy, you do have to give credit where it’s due, it was quite the ruse.
  2720. >You were practically drowning in the chaos it brought to all of Fluttershy’s friends.
  2721. >”O-oh I’m s-sorry, were you speaking to me D-D-Discord?”
  2722. >Ah, she’s at a point where she’s run out of tears for now.
  2723. “No no, not at all. Simply enjoying your company for our usual tea time that we both have to make time for each other in our very busy lives but we do anyway because we’re such good friends.”
  2724. >Certainly you're not patiently waiting for the next tea time because you have nothing better to do or anything.
  2725. >Fluttershy’s eyes are all red and puffy, but your dearest friend puts on a weak smile for you regardless.
  2726. >”Oh thank goodness. I was just f-feeling a little… sick, is all. No need to worry about me” she says as she takes the cup you were levitating.
  2727. >Her tongue protrudes from her mouth as she scrunches her muzzle, “Is this tea made from something that’s local to Chaosville? I’m sure it’s very lovely, but I don’t think it’s suited for me.”
  2728. >You roll your eyes and teleport the cup from her hooves into your claw.
  2729. >She follows its return as you tip the teapot and let the tea flow up and out of her vision and catch it in the upside down cup you’re holding.
  2730. “Yes… I figured it was worth a shot, but I suppose we’ll stick to something native to Equestria hmm? Dandelion?” you ask, offering her the now right-side up teacup.
  2731. >She nods slowly, her eyes cast down, her mind likely miles away from here…again.
  2732. >Fluttershy sips casually at her tea and you do the same.
  2733. >That bastard Anonymous, he’s completely ruined your time with Fluttershy.
  2734. >...And even more enraging he’s ruined Fluttershy.
  2735. >She moves as little as she can from her couch, her animal friends have needed a little bit of chaotic assistance to pick up the slack that your dearest Fluttershy has been leaving behind in her broken state.
  2736. >You hear a shattering noise and find that your tea cup has shattered in your claw.
  2737. >Liquid tea floats before you in the shape of the cup that held it before.
  2738. >You pinch the liquid and a new cup forms as the liquid swished around to form the shape of a cup.
  2739. >The shattered teacup floats into the new cup and becomes fresh hot tea.
  2740. >She didn’t even notice!
  2741. >This is the first time you’ve even done something like this.
  2742. >Suppose it’s time for another rousing tale from your past then.
  2743. “So Flutt-“
  2744. >”Discor-“
  2745. >You both stop at the same time.
  2746. >Fluttershy’s actually making conversation?
  2747. >Perhaps she’s finally over her little slump and you can both enjoy a proper tea time.
  2748. >”I didn’t mean to cut yo-“
  2749. “By all means please cont-“
  2750. >You roll your eyes, and wave a claw, motioning for her to continue while your own mouth is zipped up tight.
  2751. >She takes a moment before speaking again, “Oh, well, I just wanted to apologize for being such a bad host. I didn’t mean to lie to you, I’m just not feeling too much like myself right now. The truth is… I’m not actually sick.”
  2752. >You choose not to feign surprise and outrage, despite every chaotic bone in your body telling you to do otherwise.
  2753. >”I’m just really hurt right now because I found out that my good friend… forme- Anonymous isn’t who I thought sh- they were.”
  2754. >Did she tell you that Anon was a- no, that’s right you were drawn to Twilight’s castle due to the massive concentration of chaotic energy and overheard.
  2755. “I see…”
  2756. >”The worst part about all of this is that it’s all my fault.”
  2757. “Why that’s ridiculous Fluttershy! It’s not as though you changed h-Anonymous.”
  2758. >”No, I didn’t, but Anon was never anything but themself. I understand that now, I was the one who made all the wrong thoughts.”
  2759. >Hmm, changed Anonymous… oh she’s still speaking.
  2760. >”-And I was the one who told Anon that it’s who they are that matters most, and I wish I could believe what I said, I really really do but…”
  2761. >Her eyes shimmer once again and you turn your teacup into an umbrella, preparing for the storm that is to come.
  2762. >She doesn’t sob fully this time, but she does bury her face in her forehooves once again.
  2763. >Her body shakes when she takes a muffled choked breath.
  2764. >Your friend is certainly in shambles, and she might be this way for the unknowable future, which would certainly damper the next number of teatimes.
  2765. >Now what was that thought you were forming…
  2766. >Pants shirts? No.
  2767. >You pop that idea cloud that was coming from your ear.
  2768. >Making different rooms in Twilight’s castle sound like Macho Mare Randi Cabbage at random?
  2769. >You chuckle heartily, that one can be filed away for later.
  2770. >Teleporting your filing cabinet marked with "Chaos plans” back to your home you move on to the next idea bubble.
  2771. >Changing Anonymous.
  2772. >Yes, the perfect solution.
  2773. >Fluttershy would have never been wrong, you get to continue having wonderful tea times with your dear friend, and Anonymous was already parading himself around as a female anyway, so this should make it so everyone wins.
  2774. >Pleased with yourself you fly into Fluttershy’s closet and shut the door behind you as you float above Anonymous’ home.
  2775. >Normally you’d have bid Fluttershy a farewell, but it’s likely she won’t even notice you’re gone.
  2776. >You fly down closer and take a peek through the window to see Anonymous and the mare who’s castle you’re going to make the cream of the crop very soon.
  2777. >They seem to be discussing something in-
  2778. >Someone’s nearby.
  2779. >You send one of Anon’s lovely patio chairs to Chaosville and change your form to take its place, though now you can’t exactly see…
  2780. >Ah, there we go, not much you can do about the red and yellow color, even you are subject to chaos’ effect even if you’d have preferred to blend in.
  2781. >Oh, it's Rainbow Dash. She was certainly quite thrilled about “the news” while Fluttershy was in shambles.
  2782. >Sure she did try to make Fluttershy feel better, but honestly the mare’s a thick as syrup.
  2783. >One “No really I’m okay” from Fluttershy and she was racing off to who knows where.
  2784. >The cyan pegasus darts away, leaving you free and clear to resume your spying as you return to your normal form.
  2785. >While it’s better than a patio chair you can’t exactly hear what they’re saying from out here, and making your ears bigger would likely only draw their attention.
  2786. >So, perhaps taking a more "in plain sight" approach would be better.
  2787. >You've been curious to know what's beyond those small windows he carries around anyway.
  2788. >With a snap of your claws you send yourself through the window both Anonymous and Twilight are looking at.
  2789. >It's very crowded in here, there's numbers of all kinds floating around back here.
  2790. "Ouch, hey! Watch where you're going" you hiss to the very rude zero that just bumped you.
  2791. >Actually now that you're looking around, you see that it's all just ones and zeroes.
  2792. >Hmm, well this isn't very interesting at all, why would anyone want to gaze at this?
  2793. >Even your place in the garden had a more interesting view tha-
  2794. >"Hmm, one sec, It's just taking a minute to load up the video is all."
  2795. >You look around to find the source of Anon's voice and catch a glimpse of another layer to this place up above you.
  2796. "Aah, maybe there's something more interesting up... here."
  2797. >You poke your head through to see beautiful rolling hills and a bright blue sky.
  2798. >A large white arrow head looking thing scans by overhead and you tuck yourself behind a thin blue wall.
  2799. >You can hear many voices coming from the side of the wall facing Anonymous and Twilight.
  2800. >"Mm, lemme find a better scene that's got a guy and a girl."
  2801. >The arrowhead slams into the wall you're hiding behind, and sends you tumbling back through what looks like a gigantic folder.
  2802. >You're now inside of some kind of white room with various things scattered about.
  2803. >A very large grey box of some kind, "Emulator".
  2804. >Perhaps some kind of Emu factory?
  2805. >Your body is all tingly with so many new things to play with in here.
  2806. >Ah, you've seen those when you go passing through Ponyville, looking for chaos to brew up. Filthy Rich uses them during his meetings, a pie chart you think they're called.
  2807. >You take a bite out of the brown slice of the pie, it takes a few chews for the flavor to really come out, but you'll be damned if it doesn't taste like what it says.
  2808. "Apple Family Stand", thankfully this slice is free of any splinters unlike the stand it came from.
  2809. >Oh, the look of regret on Applejack's face when she said to you, "There ain't nothing Apple related that ain't good here."
  2810. >Priceless. Though, you really did like the taste of her stand, but you'd never admit that to her.
  2811. >You consider taking a few bites from the other slices, "Cider Sales" seems like a particularly good one, but decide against it.
  2812. >You did add a dash more honey to your tea than you meant to earlier and you should be mindful of your figure.
  2813. >A loud thud sounds in the room as a very large portrait of what appears to be two other humans slams itself against the wall.
  2814. >You can hear the loud thump of the mouse and dive into the Emu factory to hide.
  2815. >There are quite the number of things in this box, but none of them look like Emus.
  2816. >Well, maybe that green one there could- nope, Emus don't have long tongues like that, and they certainly don't eat turtles, nor do they breathe fire.
  2817. >"-so this is called a goatee."
  2818. >You peek out of the terrible emulator factory and see a giant paintbrush marking all over the portrait that's apparently been made into a stand alone wall.
  2819. >You watch the paintbrush make this design and that on the face of the taller human, "So let's give him a full on lumberjack."
  2820. >Him? Ah, so the taller one is the male then?
  2821. >Interesting... this is precisely what you were hoping to find.
  2822. >Anonymous and Twilight are busy talking so you'll just slip out and slide around the backside of this wall.
  2823. >Peeking down from the top, you can see the shorter human with a mane style that does resemble some of the mares you've passed by in town.
  2824. >Perfect, now to just copy the form down so you can bind it to Anonymous' form and everything should be set.
  2825. >Hmm, this larger version might be a bit more difficult to copy and there's a chance you could be spott-
  2826. >No wait, Anonymous has guided Twilight to the door.
  2827. >How convenient.
  2828. >You hop over the top of the wall and kick some kind of panel in the process.
  2829. >A chime sounds and there's now some kind of banner that's rolled down in front of the painting.
  2830. >Print?
  2831. >That sounds like just what you need.
  2832. >You float over and press the panel purposefully this time.
  2833. >A new wall appears before you with yet another print panel.
  2834. >You select it again in the hopes that it'll a-
  2835. >"Hmm... oh!"
  2836. >You turn around to see Anon's heading over to you.
  2837. >With another snap of your fingers you poof into existence just outside of Anonymous' door.
  2838. >You can feel the image attempting to print out and offer yourself as it's point of origin.
  2839. >The portrait slowly juts forward little by little out of your mouth until you've got a completed image in your claws.
  2840. >A little saliva on there, but it'll do for your purposes.
  2841. >With a flick of the wrist you cut away the taller human and and poof it away to who cares where.
  2842. >The half you did keep gets crumpled in your paw until you can mix it with enough chaos magic to turn it into a spell.
  2843. >The next thing you touch with your paw should take on the properties of the human depicted, so all you need to do is wait for Anon to-
  2844. >Hmm, you've been doing all of this for your dearest friend's benefit, may as well continue the goodness of it all and keep your namesake out of the picture for once.
  2845. >A good deed is its own reward as they say.
  2846. >With a snap of your claw, you turn back into the patio chair you thankfully forgot to replace and wait for Anonymous to step out.
  2847. >A flutter of wings sounds off from somewhere above you, as the all seeing chair that you are, you see Rainbow Dash touch down at Anon's doorstep.
  2848. >Hmm, this could complicate things...
  2849. >You had planned to waddle over while he's not paying attention and give him a light tap with your paw, if Rainbow is hovering just above you then you won't exactly be able to do so as secretly as you'd wanted.
  2850. >Perhaps this is the world telling you that you're owed the spotlight for all the good you plan to do.
  2851. >Or this is yet another test to prove that you are worth befriending Fluttershy, now that you're good and all...
  2852. >Rainbow paces back and forth as you contemplate your own course of action.
  2853. >She goes to the door a few times only to retreat back when her hoof is only inches away from Anon's door.
  2854. >She couldn't possibly be thinking to take Anonymous from Fluttershy could she?
  2855. >Psh, and she's supposed to be loyal.
  2856. >Wasn't she the one spouting about "sisters before misters"?
  2857. >Oh how you'd love to give her a good-
  2858. >You yank on her tail with your claw the moment her eyes lock on to Anonymous' door handle.
  2859. >While you can't hear it open, you see the doorway open and Rainbow takes off to the sky.
  2860. >You release your grip and fall in the direct path out from Anon's doorway.
  2861. >Anonymous, with his vision obscured by handfuls of cloth in his arms doesn't see you in his way.
  2862. >If it weren't your complete opposite, you'd like to think nicely about how useful it is when things wind up working in harmony.
  2863. >You grab Anon's leg with the paw you extend out from the chair and in so doing complete the spell.
  2864. >"Aah fuck!"
  2865. >He goes tumbling to the ground and knocks you over in the process.
  2866. >"Fucking horse patio furniture" he grumbles as he lifts you up and sets you aside.
  2867. >Any moment now he should start changing.
  2868. >Anonymous pats the clothing he's picked up off the ground and gives a light sneeze from the dirt.
  2869. >Why isn't this working? you used your paw for sure.
  2870. >Anonymous whistles a jaunty tune as he strolls off down the dirt path with Rainbow trailing him from up above.
  2871. >Well it has been a while since you've cast a spell like this, and you've certainly never cast it one something from another world.
  2872. >You never stopped to consider whether or not it would work.
  2873. >You stroll through Anon’s front door and enter into Princess Desperately Single’s library.
  2874. >You can hear five telltale pops of magic being cast from some other room, which is good.
  2875. >Because it means she’s free and clear of her mare cave.
  2876. >You only had to turn the pages in all her books to spaghetti once to get yourself banned from her royal dryness’ library.
  2877. >It was completely worth it.
  2878. >Made even better by the fact that you’re the Lord of Chaos, there’s nothing you could even be banned from.
  2879. >Anywho… time for a quick flipthrough of the chaotic sorcery spell books just to make sure you had gotten everything right.
  2880. >And to double check on the Wandering Voice spell for future use.
  2881. “Oh honey, I’m home!” you chirp as you set a hatrack on top of a very fashionable hat by Fluttershy’s front door.
  2882. >You glance around the room but don’t see your friend anywhere.
  2883. >”Oh, look at how adorable…” you hear from the other side of the couch.
  2884. >You float over the find Fluttershy curled up on her couch, flipping through some sort of booklet.
  2885. “Fluttershy?”
  2886. >“Oh Discord, Did you find the cakes?” she asks, not even glancing up at you.
  2887. >Cakes? The cakes that you teleported over from the kitchen right at the start of tea time? Those cakes?
  2888. >She’s so distracted by whatever booklet she’s flipping through that she’s hasn’t realized you were gone for a while.
  2889. >Shrinking down to Breezie size, you touch down on Fluttershy’s shoulder and take a peek at whatever it is that has her so entranced.
  2890. >”Her little nose is so adorable. I wonder if yours turns the same cute shade of red that Anon’s does when its cold” she mumbles to the sketch.
  2891. >Your eyes roll so hard they pop out of your sockets and roll down the makeshift ramp of Fluttershy’s arm.
  2892. >Humans, the last thing you want to concern yourself with right now.
  2893. >You had checked the spellbooks and verified that you cast the spell perfectly.
  2894. >It not working was a bit of a frustration, so you made yourself feel better by casting the Wandering Voice spell.
  2895. >Hearing Twilight shriek like a little colt when the voice of Macho Mare Randi Cabbage shouted “OH YEAH! SNAP INTO A GRAIN JANE” from a nearby closet was just the thing you needed.
  2896. >Knowing it’ll go off in rooms near her every hour or so tickles you in all the right ways.
  2897. >You rise and lower with Fluttershy’s shoulders as she takes a deep breath and releases a heavy sigh, “Why couldn’t things be different?” she muses aloud as she touches a hoof to the page showing a sketch of Anonymous.
  2898. >”If only I had known you were… maybe I wouldn’t have noticed your big kind heart, or your caring eyes, or how you didn’t get mad at me when your date with Flitter went-“
  2899. >She gasps and jumps up and out of the couch causing you tumble down.
  2900. *Splash*
  2901. >You pass into the booklet with what you think could be an 8/10 dive given the circumstances.
  2902. >Fluttershy returns to the couch with a letter in her hooves.
  2903. >”You mailed this to me shortly after Hearts and Hooves. I was so upset about sending Anon into your hooves that I couldn’t even look at the letter without wanting to cry so I put it away.”
  2904. >She pulls at one end of the letter ad begins tearing it open, “Then when Anon told me your date didn’t go well I was so overjoyed...” she says while hugging the letter to her chest before holding it back out in her hooves “And then guilty for being happy about it that I spent that day talking to Elizabeak about the whole thing and forgot about the letter” she mumbles.
  2905. >Ah yes, you recall her having so many eggs, because her chickens’ usual response to most attention is to lay an egg, that she ran out of containers to keep them in and had to resort to using bowls and the like.
  2906. >Fluttershy reads some lines aloud as she quickly scans the letter, ”Was having a wonderful time… got to talking about girls we liked… maybe felt outclassed?… got really quiet after I told her how many… might be more your kind of girl, shame because of how cute she is-“
  2907. >She sighs again, “Yeah, my kind of gir-“
  2908. >Her eyes widen when she spots you in her booklet, “D-Discord?! I th-thought you were out getting cake for our tea?”
  2909. “How many treats are you planning on cycli-“
  2910. >”Oh no… you didn’t overhear me earlier did you? You don’t know that Anon’s a boy do you?”
  2911. >An eraser appears and begins wiping you away, which causes you to appear wipe by wipe in Fluttershy’s living room.
  2912. “Well, I suppose I can’t exactly say no now, can I?”
  2913. >Fluttershy squeaks as she curls into herself.
  2914. >She suddenly leaps into the air, pressing her hooves against your chest, “Discord I know that you like to have fun, a-and that your fun usually goes underappreaciated-“
  2915. >Preach it sister!
  2916. >”-But please, PLEASE don’t tell anypony about Anon. Twilight said it might be really bad if everypony found out. And, oh goodness, I don’t even know how HE would feel… watching everypony change the way they see you because you were just being who you are.“
  2917. >Is she trying to ban you from doing something?
  2918. >Doesn’t she know that nobody can ban the Lord of Ch-
  2919. >Oh darn her little pouty lip.
  2920. “Very well… not a word about this to anyone.”
  2921. >Which is technically true, while your attempt at a good deed filed ultimately, you never said a word during the attempt.
  2922. >Fluttershy throws her forearms around you, “Oh thank you Discord! I know it can’t be easy to keep something like this to yourself so why don’t we go out and do some nice and friendly chaos together?” she asks while stuffing the letter and booklet into a drawer.
  2923. “I suppose it will have to do…” you respond, trying to sound as disappointed as possible.
  2924. >She starts pulling you towards her front door, ”Why don’t we start with the chickens? Their coop is awfully messy, I bet that if you used your magic to clean it up they would be in for quite a surprise huh?”
  2925. >The things you do for a friend.
  2926.  
  2927. >You spent the rest of the day with Fluttershy spreading “chaos” in all the areas where she normally does her chores.
  2928. >While you’d normally loathe that kind of thing, Fluttershy was far more active during this day than any of the last few.
  2929. >For that alone it was worth doing, even if she was only doing so to keep you quiet.
  2930. >The evening was cut short however when there were talks about a fightcloud in the area, and you bid Fluttershy farewell as she went back to check on her animals and probably cry a little more.
  2931. >And now you’ve been meandering about Chaosville, making sure it’s up to snuff.
  2932. >Normally you’d be out pinpointing the chaotic energy radiating from the fightcloud and following it around for some cheap entertainment, but you’ve had an odd feeling about the spell you cast earlier lingering so you decided to keep things simple tonight.
  2933. >Plants are sufficiently meaty, animals are plenty leafy.
  2934. >Gravity fluctuates as it should, and you can’t seem to find your snaggletooth.
  2935. >Everything’s as it should be, and with that it’s time to retire for bed.
  2936. >Perhaps in the morning you’ll feel better.
  2937. >The sun lowers to a bright and beautifully zany morning in Chaosville.
  2938. >Your bed rolls out from under you and you rise to find yourself still feeling odd.
  2939. >The feeling lingers as you pour milk from the box and cereal from the carton.
  2940. >Tossing the now empty bowl over your shoulder you can conclude that it’s not hunger that’s making you feel off.
  2941. >While pondering what it could be you open your closet door to grab the broom and dustpan.
  2942. >Forgot to make the bowl rubber and now you need to clean it up.
  2943. >The closet door shuts behind you and you find yourself floating in front of Anon’s home.
  2944. >Were you drawn here just now?
  2945. >How odd, you didn’t mean to com-
  2946. >”SWEET JESUS TITTY CINNAMON WHY AM I A CHICK!?” an unfamiliar voice shouts.
  2947. >A voice you’re certain belongs to Pinkie Pie responds, ”YIPEE! Now we can pee sitting down together Nonny! This! Is! The! BEST THING EVER!”
  2948. >A slight rattle of the window followed by the first voice shouting “Oh goddamn it Pinkie! Why do you have ovary shaped confetti?!… FUCK! MY ROOM! IT’S EVERYWHERE!”
  2949. >Ah, so that’s what the feeling was.
  2950. >Shame you didn’t act on it earlier, you missed any potential chaos that’s happened between then and now.
  2951.  
  2952. >You are Anon, no matter how you look now, ovary confetti wedged all up in your hair or not.
  2953. >R-right?
  2954. “Jesus fuck! What the hell happened to me?!”
  2955. >”I dunno, did you tuck it between your legs for too long while you were sleeping?”
  2956. “You!” you turn pointing to the pink pony jumping happily on your bed.
  2957. >”EMM! Are talking about our favorite letters now?”
  2958. “What did you do?!”
  2959. >Pinkie sits down on your bed and brings a hoof to her chin, “Hmm, well I was playing jetpack while you went to sleep. Last I left off we were escaping the clutches of the nefarious doctor-“
  2960. “No damn it! How’d you change me into.. this!” you shout while pointing at the mirror.
  2961. >Pinkie gasps, ”I can do that?!”, she then proceeds to scrunch her muzzle harder than you’ve ever seen before.
  2962. >Her mane and tail “poofs” and then goes flat, “Did I do it? Am I a Dragon now?”
  2963. >Yeah, so she probably didn’t do it.
  2964. >You can see her sweeping up all the confetti with her broomlike tail behind your reflection.
  2965. “So if you didn’t do it, the- I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming! HA HA, OH WOW This has to be a dream right?”
  2966. >”Maybe, if you’re dreaming then that means the rules don’t count! I can have dinner for breakfast! Or Cranky Doodle could throw me a party! Or, or I could be talking-“
  2967. “Like this!”
  2968. “AAH! How did- what did you-“
  2969. >It’s like you two switched places just now…
  2970. >Pinkie giggles, “Gee I think you might be right about the dream part Nonny.”
  2971. >You shake your head.
  2972. >Then you shake it again even harder.
  2973. >Most of the paper ovaries in your hair fall out, and you make yourself sneeze from the hair brushing your face but you’re still standing in front of your mirror instead of waking up from this fucked dream.
  2974. >Need something more.
  2975. “Pinkie, I need you to hit me in the face.”
  2976. >”You got it!” she springs from your bed, into the air and rears back a hoof on the downward arc towards you.
  2977. >You shut your eyes tight but never feel the connect.
  2978. >What you do sense is the sound of brakes being slammed on.
  2979. >You open your eyes and see Pinkie floating in the air just before you.
  2980. >”Waiiiit a minu- aah!” she falls onto her rear, only to spring back up to her rearhooves and pokes you just below your chest, “Are you tryin’ ta cheat me Nonny? I know I can’t hit a human lady, you’re delicate and fragile.”
  2981. >Damn it Ponk, you don’t have time for this shit.
  2982. >Trying to act faster than your brain can stop you, you swing an open palm across your face.
  2983. *SMACK*
  2984. >Pinkie gasps, and before you can even do anything you’re tackled to the floor.
  2985. >”NOO! They’ll take you away Nonny! It’ll be an open and shut case! And I’ll be a witness if I don’t tell the ponice!” she sobs loudly.
  2986. “Pinkie.”
  2987. >”And I don’t wanna be a snitch! They get knishes, and I hate potatoes!” she cries even louder.
  2988. “PINKIE!”
  2989. >She blinks her tears away and looks down at you.
  2990. “Nobody’s going to jail. and apparently I’m not sleeping.”
  2991. >She lowers her head to rest it on your chest, “Phew, thank goodness.”
  2992. >You hear her sniffing, and feel her warm breath tickling your neck.
  2993. >She stands up and buries her muzzle in your chest as she continues sniffing.
  2994. >”Hey, you smell completely different now! Almost li-“
  2995. >You grab her by the armpits and lift her up from your chest.
  2996. “Don’t! Uh, don’t do that please… it feels weird.”
  2997. >The tingling feeling you were getting still lingers even after picking Pinkie up.
  2998. >”Nonny, are you ticklish now?” she says with a shit eating grin on her face.
  2999. “No!” you respond while setting her down next to you and rising back to your feet, “Yes?... I don’t know okay?! I just… this is all a lot to deal with right now and I- I...”
  3000. >You slam the door to your bathroom shut and bury your silky smooth face into your silky smooth hands.
  3001. >Your breath hitches as you try to suppress the seemingly overwhelming urge to cry.
  3002. >Two small knocks sound from the door beside you, “Nonny? Are you okay?”
  3003. “I’ve been better” you mumble, letting your hands fall as you watch yourself in the mirror.
  3004. >A beautiful, yet teary eyed you looks back.
  3005. >”Please don’t cry. That’s like the opposite of the thing that I want you to do.”
  3006. >Your reflection cracks a small smile.
  3007. “I’m not crying. I just really really want to.” you sigh.
  3008. >Might as well tear the bandaid off in one go.
  3009. >You raise your loose shirt up, revealing a lithe waist with hints of a curvy hip peeking out from your bottoms.
  3010. >You raise your shirt higher and catch the underside of your… self before revealing them completely.
  3011. “Holy…”
  3012. >You’re fucking stacked!
  3013. >YOU’RE FUCKING STACKED!?
  3014. >THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
  3015. >In a panic you drop your shirt down and pull it tightly.
  3016. >All that does though is accentuate your tits against the no longer loose shirt.
  3017. >FUCK!
  3018. >You let the shirt go at the bottom and bury your face in your hands again.
  3019. >Okay Non, you have no clue what the fuck is going on, but you need to deal with this if you have any hoped of figuring it out.
  3020. >Affirmed in your decision, you decide to really rip the bandaid.
  3021. >You shut your eyes tight and toss away everything.
  3022. >Three.
  3023. >Two.
  3024. >One…
  3025. >You open your eyes.
  3026. >Then shut them tightly again immediately afterwards.
  3027. >This is too fucked.
  3028. >Flowing shoulder length hair.
  3029. >Great bust.
  3030. >Slender form.
  3031. >Decent hips.
  3032. >Nice legs.
  3033. >This is all the kind of shit you’d want, in someone else!
  3034. >”Nonny? Are you getting changed? You forgot to bring clothes.”
  3035. “Changed? Yeah. Changed is good. I want to do that.”
  3036. >You peek out at yourself and find it not quite are jarring as it was a moment ago.
  3037. >Yup, if you squint super hard it almost looks like your legs have some hair on them.
  3038. >”Okey dokey, I’ve got some outfits picked out for you here Nonny.”
  3039. “Outfits? Just leave a shirt and pants by the door.”
  3040. >”No, you’re supposed to come out and flip through all of them. Then complain that you hate them all and need better clothes. Its what human girls do.”
  3041. >Never should’ve gone with anything that wasn’t Disney movies.
  3042. “Pinkie… I really don’t feel like coming out right now okay.”
  3043. >”Aww, come on Nonny. It’s your best pal Pinkie! I won’t judge you, heck I probably won’t even notice a thing. We are both girls now after all.”
  3044. >Damn that soothing tone of hers...
  3045. >Your hand rests on the door handle, you take a deep breath and turn it against what feels like monumental resistance.
  3046. >The door pushes open slowly.
  3047. >Pinkie sits just beyond it, her eyes are looking up into yours.
  3048. >Then they begin to lower and widen the further down your body they travel.
  3049. >Her mouth opens wider and wider, you can feel a great amount of unease building up in your chest.
  3050. >”WOWIE ZOWIE! YOU’RE-“
  3051. *SLAM*
  3052. >Two knocks sound at your door.
  3053. >Or you just sniffled twice in succession.
  3054. >”Nonny…” Pinkie says quietly.
  3055. >You continue sobbing as you hug your knees closer to your chest.
  3056. >”So I told you a teensie-weensie little lie... I promise I didn’t mean anything bad!”
  3057. >You breathing is still jumpy, but you managed to calm down enough to speak again.
  3058. “I know…”
  3059. >”Then why are you crying?”
  3060. ”I don’t know! I want nothing more than to stroll out of here and give zero fucks like usual but I can’t! Stupid girl body is fucking with my head! I don’t want to sit here on the fucking toilet and cry except it's also exactly what I want to do and now I don’t know what I want.”
  3061. >”You want… a hug? Maybe?” Pinkie squeaks out.
  3062. >…
  3063. >You open the door and find Pinkie up on her rearhooves, eyes shut tight and forearms outstretched.
  3064. >You kneel down and lean into her.
  3065. >Her arms clamp down on you like a vice the moment you make contact with her.
  3066. >Her fur feels softer than you remember.
  3067. >The feeling of her cheek rubbing against yours sends shivers down your spine.
  3068. >You try to stand but find the pony in your arms is heavier than you expected.
  3069. >A grunt escapes your lips as you hoist her up and carry her over to your bed.
  3070. >”So I took ONE orange from you! You don’t have to make such a big deal about it Nonny.” she huffs.
  3071. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m weak as fuck now.” you respond with a light chuckle that comes out as more of a titter
  3072. >Stupid grill bod.
  3073. >You drop her on the bed and look at the clothing she’s laid out on the bed for you.
  3074. >That one  gonna be too snug, somehow you can just tell
  3075. >This one is cute-
  3076. >NO, not cute damn it! It's ... fine
  3077. >But you might look fine in th-
  3078. >You groan in frustration at your own war of the minds
  3079. >"Ooh, did you hit a snag?"
  3080. >You look down to see Pinkie's face in your hands
  3081. >Your hands are gently running all ove, much to her enjoyment
  3082. >...And your own too
  3083. >Her mane is so soft and bouncy
  3084. >Her ears wiggle under your touch
  3085. >And she lets out the cutest giggle if you scratch just under her-
  3086. >NO STOP ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH!
  3087. >You slam the door to your closet behind you, Pinkie grunts as she dives face first into your bed from the sudden lack of your support
  3088. >You realize this was a short sighted plan turned into a no sighted plan as you stand in the dark closet
  3089. >You fumble around for a moment, feeling for what you're pretty sure is the baggiest clothing you can find.
  3090. >”So what’s the plan Nonaroo.” Pinkie asks as you re-enter your room proper
  3091. “I don’t know... You wouldn't happen to have any ideas would you?"
  3092.  
  3093. >Okay... Zecora's.
  3094. >That's not that far out of the way, and heading into the Everfree might actually be nice, trees don't have eyes.
  3095. >Well... hopefully they don't.
  3096. >And if they do, at the very least you hope they're not big ones.
  3097. >Ponies have such big eyes you've suddenly realized.
  3098. >And fucking ALL of them were on you, you could just feel them.
  3099. >It made you so uncomfortable that you ducked into a back alley.
  3100. >You pull the hood of your hoodie further up over your face.
  3101. >Some of your long hair peeks out.
  3102. >You quickly stuff it back and tuck the loose strands behind your ear again.
  3103. >Stupid long hair.
  3104. >Stupid girl body.
  3105. >Stupid-
  3106. >"Oof-"
  3107. >You bump into a guard that suddenly rounded the building that you were strolling the back end of.
  3108. >She jumps back immediately and holds an oversized bugnet at the ready.
  3109. >You squeak and hold your hands out in surrender.
  3110. >She blinks once to take in your sight, for a little longer than you'd like, before relaxing and curling her lips into a firm line, "Be more careful Anonymous. The blorange fightcloud is still storming, it could have escalating overnight, and us guard are all on high alert. The next one may not think before acting like I did."
  3111. "Yeah, sor-"
  3112. >You immediately clap a hand over your mouth while the guard quirks an eyebrow.
  3113. >You clear your throat and try to force as deep a voice as you can muster.
  3114. "Sorry Vigilant, I-I'll be more careful."
  3115. >She nods, "Try to stay out in the open areas, we've got most everywhere else blocked off and heavily patrolled until we find it."
  3116. >You nod and continue past her, you can feel her eyes boring into the back of your head as you head out onto the dirt pathway.
  3117. >"Hey!" she calls, making you jump.
  3118. >Your whole body tenses up, refusing to move.
  3119. >With great effort you manage to shuffle around and face the guard.
  3120. >She squints her eyes, scrutinizing you.
  3121. >You fight the nervous trembles building up under your skin.
  3122. >Your heart starts to pound in your chest loudly.
  3123. >She smiles, "Is that a new sweater?"
  3124. "O-oh! No actually, I've had it for a while" you chirp.
  3125. >You chirp?!
  3126. >She hums, "Isn't it a little hot to be wearing a sweater though."
  3127. "H-human... uh, thing" you squeak as you turn heel and leave the guard standing there slightly dumbfounded.
  3128. >Once you reach a lamppost that's relatively out of the way you slump against it and sigh loudly.
  3129. >The sound of your own breath does help calm your nerves slightly.
  3130. >Still a long way to Zecora's and it seems like your roundabout way towards her isn't going to work.
  3131. >The guard are patrolling the non-trafficked areas and Vigilant's right, any of them jump you and your secret is revealed.
  3132. >But you have to get to Zecora's.
  3133. >It's the only chance you have at getting back to normal...
  3134.  
  3135. >"Any ideas? I have TONS of ideas, like uh, taco pants! And and... taco hat! OH OH AND-"
  3136. "I meant ideas that help me go back to... me. Ideally before my date tonight with Rarity."
  3137. >Pinkie deflated somewhat, "Oh. So less about tacos and more about YOUR taco, well lemme think... Your winky is a winky now-"
  3138. "Human girls cant..."
  3139. >"They can't what?"
  3140. "Nothing, not important. Focus."
  3141. >Pinkie nods, "Right! Well... uh, earlier when the girls and I had our first meeting about you-"
  3142. >She freezes mid sentence, "Ewes! Yeah, Ewes, those dirty bitgrubbers-"
  3143. >Was that... racism? Speciesism?
  3144. >"-Applejack mentioned something about a half-way potion."
  3145. "Halfway?"
  3146. >"You know, when a herd is having a little trouble getting by, one of the mares can... step up. I don't know anything more about it, but if the word potion is involved there's one lady I know to turn to-"
  3147. "Zecora..."
  3148. >"Yeah! How'd you know? Do you have that mind-reading power girls have now? From what I recall guys are much slower to get it and that causes a lot of relationship problems."
  3149. "Pinkie, you gotta stop watching that junk on my laptop."
  3150. >She snickers, "If I wanted to watch junk I'd watch your porn- I mean... 'Woodworking' videos."
  3151. "Hey!"
  3152. >You can feel your face light up.
  3153. >"Or some of those awesdumb gameplay videos you recorded."
  3154. "Sh-shut up!"
  3155. >Pinkie giggles, then quickly realizes she's the only one laughing.
  3156. >She looks up at you, the moment her eyes lock with yours you immediately turn away on reaction.
  3157. >"Nonny, are you okay?"
  3158. >You nod.
  3159. "I'm fine Pinkie." you snap back.
  3160. >You can hear her trace circles on your bed with her hoof, "A-are you sure?" she asks hesitantly.
  3161. >You sigh.
  3162. "Yeah, I'm sure. I know I am just... I'm feeling uncomfortably embarrassed that you found those videos."
  3163. >What?
  3164. >Why the hell would you admit that!?
  3165. >Pinkie jumps down to the floor, her hooves clop closer and closer towards you.
  3166. >You stumble forwards a little when she nudges her head against the back of your leg, pushing the back of your knee in the process.
  3167. >"I'm sorry Nonny, if it makes you feel better I didn't actually look at them. I just saw the thumbnails popping out of the folder they were in."
  3168. >Dumbass, you always told yourself to change the folder type but no, nobody would ever wind up using your laptop...
  3169. >Her warmth against your leg coupled with her explanation do actually go a long way towards making you feel better.
  3170. "It does actually. Thanks Pinkie. I'm gonna go now, you uh, hold down the fort would you?"
  3171. >"I'm not going with you?" she whines.
  3172. "No way, I don't know how long this is going to take and you're the one who knows how to finish cooking up the dinner we started last night right?"
  3173. >She glances towards the kitchen, "Yeahhhh, but-"
  3174. "Please, Pinkie, this is a lot to deal with right now and knowing that at least one thing is in control would go along way to keeping me from losing my mind here" you respond, spinning around with your arms out to emphasize how fucked things kind are.
  3175. >Pinkie's eyes circle around with your spin before coming to a stop on you, "Okay... " she responds defeatedly.
  3176. "Okay. And if anyone comes by just tell them I'm out or something. Do NOT tell them what actually happened okay? I can't even imagine what everyone would do if they all found out I was a girl now."
  3177. >Pinkie's eyes widen, it's good to know that she's on your page.
  3178. >"Pshyeah! That would... well uh, you know m-maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal if-"
  3179. "Pinkie. C'mon-"
  3180. >"No Nonny, seriously, I REALLY don't think it would-"
  3181. >Why is she fighting you on this?
  3182. "Pinkie." you growl, "Promise me. Pinkie Promise me that you won't way anything about this to anyone."
  3183. >She squirms in her seat, A strained squeak escapes her lips, that slowly transitions into a long groan, "-nnnngfine! Okay..."
  3184. >She does the motions as she makes the promise.
  3185. >You kneel down and hug her.
  3186. >She quickly returns the embrace, weakly at first then gradually getting stronger until she's nuzzling your cheek.
  3187. >You like the hug more and more and the feeling of her soft fur against your face just fills your heart with a tingly warmth.
  3188. >You nuzzle her back and give her one last squeeze before forcing yourself to let her go.
  3189. >"Wow, you're way less stiff during our hugs" she muses.
  3190. "Was that a crack at my dick."
  3191. >Pinkie giggles, "No, it was a crack at you having a crack now."
  3192. >You giggle back.
  3193. "Two cracks Pinkie. I still had a butt before."
  3194. >She waves you off, "Have you seen that thing you've got now? THAT's a butt, you had nothin' before sister."
  3195. >You can feel your face get hot again, but it's tolerable this time, just with you and Pinkie, joking around in your housepartment
  3196. "Okay, for real I'm off."
  3197. >"Bye Nonny..."
  3198.  
  3199. >The sounds of hooves crunching dirt and rock nearby draw you from your recollection of your departure.
  3200. >You quickly start walking into town square, trying to stay ahead of whomever is behind you.
  3201. >The less interaction you have with anyone until you get changed back the better.
  3202. >Unfortunately cutting through the square is the most direct path to Fluttershy's and also the start of the only path you know to get to Zecora's.
  3203. >As you get closer and closer into town you start catching up to, walking past, or walking beside more and more ponies.
  3204. >Most of them don't say anything, but you can't help but feel your skin crawling when anyone gets too close.
  3205. >It's all in your head, you know that, but goddamn it it won't stop.
  3206. >"Howdy Anon!"
  3207. >You briefly glance down and to your left to find a small brown stallion looking up at you with a wide smile on his face.
  3208. "Hey-" you clear your throat again and deepen your voice, "Hey Time Turner."
  3209. >The stallion walks beside you in an uncomfortable silence for a bit.
  3210. >You know he has something he wants to say, you can almost... feel it.
  3211. >In the way he glances over at you, how he makes an effort to keep up with your shorter-than-when-you-were-a-man-but-still-longer-than-a-pony stride.
  3212. >Sheesh, try trademarking that slogan.
  3213. >You don't want to say anything, but you feel somewhat compelled to hear what he's got to say.
  3214. "You uh, was there something you wanted Time Turner?"
  3215. >The stallion jumps a little, "Oh, no! N-nothing..."
  3216. >Liar.
  3217. >You see that little flick of his eyes.
  3218. "Oh okay... well I'll see you around then-"
  3219. >You start to up the pace.
  3220. >"W-wait!"
  3221. >There it is.
  3222. >You slow down to a slow walk so he can catch up and trot comfortably beside you.
  3223. >Ooh, look at those little legs prance-
  3224. >The hell?
  3225. >"I uh... I just wanted to say that I really like your sweater, especially that big pocket! Is it an Equestrian design?"
  3226. "My... oh, no it's from back home." you respond, pulling at the loose fabric some.
  3227. >"Well I think it looks just lovely on you..." he chirps, his eyes remain fixed on your sweater.
  3228. >You can see his little nostrils flare from your angle on him.
  3229. >Did he say Lovely?
  3230. >You feel a little color fill your cheeks.
  3231. >It is kind of a nice hoodie isn't it?
  3232. >Definitely not appropriate for today though, you can feel the sweat dripping down your back and hairs matting to your neck.
  3233. >Still that was very sweet of him to say.
  3234. "Well thank y-"
  3235. >Your hand stops midway through a head to neck pet, his ears flick up just as your hands passed over them.
  3236. >A blush forms on his face and he quickly jumps back and away from your hand, "A-Anonymous! So forward..."
  3237. >Your mouth hangs agape, what did you just do?!
  3238. >One minute you're thinking about how sweet a-and soft his mane looks while getting complemented on your cute sweater, and the next...
  3239. >How did you-
  3240. >It dawns on you now that you are still in petting position, which for a small pony means you are squatted down, poking your butt out in the air.
  3241. >You quickly stand up straight and pull your hoodie down to cover as much of yourself as possible.
  3242. "-ater?"
  3243. "Huhwhat?"
  3244. >Time Turner giggles, "I said that I'm not usually one to make... friends so quickly, but if you wanted to we could y'know get lunch? S-sometime later?" he repeats himself a little louder, his eyes glance around as he did so.
  3245. >Get lunch?
  3246. >You copy his motion and glance around, you notice that many of the passersby have either stopped to look at you both after his outburst or are sneaking glances your way as they walk by.
  3247. >Your skin starts getting crawly again, you can feel the sweat pumping out harder around your skin and your legs begin to tremble.
  3248. "Y-yeah, sure, lunch sounds great. Gotta go!" you respond to him over your shoulder as you continue down the path towards the square.
  3249. >"W-wait! What day?" he shouts back.
  3250. "I'll write you!" you shout as you break into a light jog.
  3251. >You turn ahead again and keep your eyes high to avoid all the stares you can feel all around you.
  3252. >Just gotta get to Zecora's.
  3253. >You reach the square after a little bit.
  3254. >Pretty much anything branching out of here that isn't main roads has a guard stationed at it.
  3255. >You ran past a few on the way into the square and you can see some patrolling out in the distance down any path out of here.
  3256. >Your breaths are all heavy.
  3257. >Not really from exhaustion but from heat.
  3258. >This hoodie is killing you.
  3259. >You'd give anything to just rip it off, but that is very clearly not an option.
  3260. >Hell even just an-
  3261. >"Apple juice?"
  3262. >A tingle runs down your spine, you quickly spin around to find yourself almost face to face with Big Macintosh.
  3263. >He beams up at you and nods to the stand behind him.
  3264. >A nice big pitcher of apple juice front and center on it.
  3265. >Your eyes look on intently as a drop of condensation builds and builds at the lip of the pitcher.
  3266. >You lick your dry dry lips as you watch it streak down the side of the pitcher.
  3267. >Shaking your head clear your throat and look back to Big Mac.
  3268. >You can see his nostrils flare every second or so.
  3269. >It's just so adorable!
  3270. >You recall what he said before you lost your mind in that pitcher.
  3271. "Uh yeah, I'd love some of your apple juice Big Mac."
  3272. >He brings a hoof to his lips to stifle a snicker before turning around and walking you back to his cart.
  3273. "On your own today?"
  3274. >"Eeyup. AJ didn't come home last night. Wasn't back this mornin' neither."
  3275. >Applejack, last you saw her she had sent you and Mac to get those paintings.
  3276. >Maybe this fightcloud thing is actually a big deal.
  3277. "Oh, is she... alright?"
  3278. >Big Mac looks down, "Think so..." he looks back up at you with a forced smile, "she won't be if'n I find out she just went too hard on the cider with one of her friends."
  3279. >You give him a warm smile in return.
  3280. >The worry in his eyes aches your heart.
  3281. >You reach out hesitantly, your hand lingers in the air for a moment before you commit to your decision and comb your fingers through his mane.
  3282. >He closes his eyes and leans into your touch.
  3283. >His mane is so soft.
  3284. >Why are all these ponies manes so soft?!
  3285. >Thankfully you can pet him easier due to him being taller so there's no need to squat down any allowing you to pet freely.
  3286. >He nudges your side with his nose, the contact elicits a ticklish response, making you step back.
  3287. >He opens his eyes and looks up at you, biting his lip.
  3288. >His dopey face coupled with the tickle in your side makes you break out into laughter.
  3289. >Mac joins in with your for a moment.
  3290. >The tension in the air seems to lessen.
  3291. >you both become quiet after a bit.
  3292. >It takes a second to realize that, and then a second longer to notice that you're just looking into his eyes with him doing the same.
  3293. >You break the eye contact, feeling a strange tingle in your stomach.
  3294. >"Juice?" Mac asks, breaking the slightly tense again silence.
  3295. >You nod.
  3296. >Mac motions to a cup while he rears up onto the table.
  3297. >You take hold of the cup in your hand while you watch him grab the pitcher in his mouth.
  3298. >His strong thighs bulge as he leans just a bit further to better grab the pitcher.
  3299. >You look on as his tail flicks lightly, exposing part of himself as a result.
  3300. >You can feel your face start to get hot.
  3301. >The way his hips sways back and forth while he ensures he's got a steady grip on the pitcher is...
  3302. >You swallow down the awkward feeling welling up in your chest and snap to attention as he comes back to all fours and brings the pitcher over to you.
  3303. >When you look at your hand to bring it over to him you realize two things.
  3304. >One, you are holding that cup tighter than necessary.
  3305. >And two, your hand was swaying up and down without you realizing until now.
  3306. >A poke to your arm makes you jump with shock.
  3307. >You spin around to face a concerned looking Mac, tilted sideways to hold the pitcher without spilling it.
  3308. "Oh! R-right..."
  3309. >You hold out the cup for him.
  3310. >He pours with who knows how may years of talent.
  3311. >Filling you up to the brim with his apple juice.
  3312. >You hold the drink up to your lips.
  3313. >It's so cold in your hand and the smell is incredible!
  3314. >You take a slow sip.
  3315. >The deliciously sweet, but not too sweet, liquid tickles your tongue as it travels down your throat.
  3316. >You tip the cup further and down half of it in one gulp.
  3317. >Mac looks up at you with his mouth slightly agape.
  3318. >Your face gets hotter and you shrink down a little.
  3319. "G-guess I was thirstier than I thought..." you joke.
  3320. >Mac nods.
  3321. >You force yourself to sip on the drink to keep from embarrassing yourself further.
  3322. >An awkward silence begins to settle in between the two of you.
  3323. >Mac kicks at the dirt near his hoof while you sip your cup every so often to make it seem less uncomfortable.
  3324. >Man this bites.
  3325. >Mac is your bro!
  3326. >Sure this isn't a good spot for you, but he totally had your back yesterday and his own sister might be missing with this Fightcloud business going on.
  3327. >You set the cup down and place a hand on his firm broad shoulder.
  3328. >He looks up at you with those gorgeous green eyes of his.
  3329. >Your response dies in your throat.
  3330. >A small smile form on his face.
  3331. >He tilts his head to brush it against your hand.
  3332. >Mac raises a hoof and rests it on your leg much in the same way you are holding his shoulder.
  3333. >Your heart kicks in your chest.
  3334. >The feeling of his fur under your palm feels even better than ever.
  3335. >You can feel your lip quiver as you look at this adorable stallion before you.
  3336. >You can feel... can feel...
  3337. >Something that doesn't feel like sweat in your pants.
  3338. >You snap your legs shut, startling Big Mac.
  3339. "S-sorry! Mac I uh... f-forgot I have to go take care of something. H-how much for the drink?"
  3340. >He shakes his head, "No charge... for you."
  3341. >You have got to get out of here.
  3342. >He is such a sweetie and it is literally killing you.
  3343. "Thanks Mac, y-you're the best! If I uh, come across your sister I'll let her know you're waiting for her okay?"
  3344. >Big Mac lowers his head slightly, "Eeyup..."
  3345. >Aww, you can't just leave like that!
  3346. >But you HAVE to get to Zecora, soon!
  3347. >You think back to yesterday.
  3348. >When Mac and you parted ways.
  3349. >What he did...
  3350. >It's just like a slug on the shoulders but for guy stallions right?
  3351. >You quickly kneel down beside him and wrap an arm around his front.
  3352. >Your hand comes up and gently cups his soft face.
  3353. >He tenses up as you bring your face closer towards him.
  3354. >You can smell him now, fruity, but there's a deeper scent too.
  3355. >Your heart pounds in your chest as you bring your lips closer.
  3356. >You can hear Big Mac breathing heavily on your neck.
  3357. >Turning your head just a little more, you put his ear right by your lips.
  3358. >You part them and gently sink your teeth into the soft flesh and fur.
  3359. >Just like he did to you, you hold the bite for a very short time, just a nip.
  3360. >You release him and lean back.
  3361. >He's about face to face with you now.
  3362. >Upclose you can see a blush on his muzzle even through the thick red fur.
  3363. >Guess your slug came off more like a brush of the hand but you couldn't well just bend and nip without risking exposing yourself.
  3364. >Slowly a dopey smile begins to spread across his cute little face.
  3365. >You watch his eyes glaze over for just a moment before her quickly turns away from you.
  3366. >You rise and brush your knee off.
  3367. "So I'll see you around right?" you mumble.
  3368. >Mac is silent.
  3369. >You decide it best to maybe just walk away.
  3370. >After a step you hear him speak up, not much more than a mumble, "E-eeyup".
  3371. >You take one last glance before heading off towards Fluttershy's.
  3372. >He's flicking the ear you bit, and you think you can see a smile on his face.
  3373. >Despite you goofing it up, seeing his joy at being bros with you makes you feel all warm inside.
  3374. >...and a little outside.
  3375. >You brush your hands over the front of your pants and even give your leg a shake to air yourself out a little.
  3376. >The market passes behind you and thankfully the path towards Fluttershy and the Everfree is completely empty.
  3377. >You traverse the worn path through the trees with only a minor amount of squirming at seeing something crawling just out of your field of view.
  3378. >Soon the warm glow of Zecora's hut comes into view.
  3379. >You feel relief welling up in your chest already.
  3380. >You skip to the door and knock gently against it.
  3381. >"Come in, come in visitor, do not dally too long outside my door."
  3382. >You push the door in and stand at the doorway.
  3383. >Zecora looks up from the book she was reading on a far table.
  3384. >She tilts her head and squints her eyes, "Anonymous? To what do I owe this visit most wondrous."
  3385. >You step in, hands tucked securely into the pocket of your hoodie.
  3386. "Uh... w-well I'm having a bit of an issue."
  3387. >She looks you over before slowly closing her book shut.
  3388. >Zecora hops down from her stool and trots closer to you, "An issue? Could you be more specific? Nothing about you seems anything but terrific"
  3389. "Well..."
AIE Anon Mane 6

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