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The Color of Life By Wanderer

By ticker
Created: 18th December 2020 03:57:44 AM

  1.  3.     >"I'LL PAY YOU 800 BITS TO TAKE MY VIRGINITY!"
  2. 4.      >you are Anon
  3. 5.      >and Moondancer has just offered you 800 bits to make her a mare
  4. 6.      >No problem
  5. 7.      >"First stop, the bookstore."
  6. 8.      "W-what? I've studied how to do this for weeks!"
  7. 9.      >"Nope, just pick something out you'll enjoy reading. I'll grab something too."
  8. 10.     >she blushes when you get "The Horn-Polisher"
  9. 11.     >"Next stop? The spa. Deluxe package for two, 100 bits each."
  10. 12.     "Spa? What? What does mas-hahhhhhh"
  11. 13.     >"Relax the pony."
  12. 14.     >They actually need an extra half-hour to get all the mane knots out
  13. 15.     >Then the mineral bath in hot, bubbling water
  14. 16.     >They had to change the water when the drain got clogged with loose mane hairs
  15. 17.     >shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse
  16. 18.     >a good brisk currying
  17. 19.     >for her, you got oiled up and strigil'd
  18. 20.     >fuck yeah, Cloudsdale Method
  19. 21.     >cooling down with a good book in your hands/aura
  20. 22.     "Y-you look good, Anon. Why'd you spend half the bits on me?"
  21. 23.     >"It was worth it." And I wasn't touching her without a professional cleaning first.
  22. 24.     *blushing pony noises*
  23. 25.     >You got the goddamn sweater dry-cleaned too
  24. 26.     >"Now, we'll just get you home...ooh! Chocolate cake with candied violets. I'll take one of those."
  25. 27.     "Hey! This isn't the way to my house."
  26. 28.     >"That's right. We're using my place."
  27. 29.     >satin sheets
  28. 30.     >lots of fluffy pillows
  29. 31.     >"Now, come here my little virgin..."
  30. 32.     >You pick up Moondancer and lay her on the bed
  31. 33.     >"These things must be done properly, no?"
  32. 34.     >The curtains are drawn, leaving the bedroom dimly lit
  33. 35.     >slowly, you lay your hands upon Moondancer
  34. 36.     >and take her, slowly and masterfully
  35. 37.     >your fingers turn her ears into twitching pony puddles
  36. 38.     >moans as you roll her over and run your hands across her silken belly
  37. 39.     >full-bodied, sensous snugglings
  38. 40.     >her tongue is hanging halfway out of her mouth and spots of drool spackle the sheets
  39. 41.     >"How do you feel, Moondancer?"
  40. 42.     "I've...I've never felt so...loved. I feel like, like~"
  41. 43.     >"A mare. I do not take fillies. I make them into the mare I see under the blushes and stutters..."
  42. 44.     >"...and then I take what is ready to give."
  43. 45.     >kissing a pony isn't quite the same as a human
  44. 46.     >they like rubbing noses when they're touching lips
  45. 47.     >and it's not like Moondancer's ever really kissed a stallion
  46. 48.     >you do it right
  47. 49.     >nose against muzzle
  48. 50.     >not too much tongue
  49. 51.     >ponies have much more dexterous tongues anyway and you don't need to sprain yours trying to keep up
  50. 52.     >the belly rubs go...lower this time
  51. 53.     >aroused horses always sound a little silly
  52. 54.     >the whinnying and snorting they make when you play with their teats
  53. 55.     >but she's rubbing her neck against your face
  54. 56.     >and thanks to the spa, she smells really nice
  55. 57.     >so you nibble on that too
  56. 58.     *SQUEAL*
  57. 59.     >you never thought you'd grow up to have horny ponies on your lap
  58. 60.     >then again, most human women would have taken you getting naked in your own house a lot less easily than ponies did
  59. 61.     >you always worked better without any clothes on
  60. 62.     >and most ponies find bare skin exotic
  61. 63.     "Ohhhhhh...."
  62. 64.     >and there's the first trickles
  63. 65.     >mares rarely have dryness problems
  64. 66.     >and you always need to change the sheets with each client
  65. 67.     >lower...
  66. 68.     "Oh...Anon! I...I did that to your bed!"
  67. 69.     >"That just means you did what a mare is supposed to do when someone's loving her."
  68. 70.     >Moondancer is a very warm pony in your lap at the moment.
  69. 71.     >She gets warmer when you cover your fingers in that lovely mare juice and give the source a good rubbing
  70. 72.     >ponies are built a little less sensitive down there
  71. 73.     "A-ahn!"
  72. 74.     >but once you get them started
  73. 75.     "Ahhhhhhhhn!" *splurt*
  74. 76.     >they just keep going
  75. 77.     "AH! AH! OH!"
  76. 78.     >and going
  77. 79.     "~ooooooohh..."
  78. 80.     >OK, maybe Moondancer's a little out of shape compared to most mares
  79. 81.     >still, goofy cutie O-face with those eyebrows wiggling
  80. 82.     >plus having chubby pony plot rubbing your crotch feels really nice
  81. 83.     >a few more kisses on the neck and ears
  82. 84.     >"How does my lovely young mare feel?"
  83. 85.     "So.....so good...I...this...why don't they write this down?"
  84. 86.     >"Humans can be very good for sexual, Moondancer. They don't want to spoil you for stallions, but since you're paying...you're getting spoiled. The best way."
  85. 87.     >a nice fluffy pillow to go under a chubby pony belly
  86. 88.     >she's in no condition to complain about some help keeping her flanks up
  87. 89.     >speaking of flanks, your hands travel amidst the moon and stars
  88. 90.     >and that gets her tail up and flagging
  89. 91.     >"Moondancer? Still want to go all the way?"
  90. 92.     >the spatter of warm, sticky mare across your chest is a pretty good indicator but...
  91. 93.     "M-mmmmake me your mare!"
  92. 94.     >Yeah, that'll do.
  93. 95.     >kneeling behind Moondancer, you get a firm grasp of both flanks
  94. 96.     >she's shivering a little, but the winking says that's more lust than fear
  95. 97.     >and ever so gently, you take that pony pussy, half an inch at a time until you bump against a hymen
  96. 98.     >"Moonie?"
  97. 99.     *inarticulate horse noises*
  98. 100.    >"I'm going to have to push a few times, and it'll sting a little"
  99. 101.    *WHAP*
  100. 102.    >tail-in-the-face, occupational hazard of horsefuckers
  101. 103.    >keeping Moondancer's flanks firmly in hand (they're nice and squishy), you thrust
  102. 104.    *REEEEEE~HE-HE-HE!*
  103. 105.    >wow, she BIT THROUGH THE SHEETS
  104. 106.    >good thing you had to replace them after this anyway
  105. 107.    >and once you're through, there's a spot just past the hymen...
  106. 108.    >you wiggle dem flanks, letting your glans find that sweet spot
  107. 109.    *GOOSH*
  108. 110.    >annnnnd there's the pony G-spot
  109. 111.    >red-spotted orange marecum oozes it's way around the death grip Moondancer has on your pecker
  110. 112.    >tight, hot, and well lubricated, you just have to keep a slow movement going
  111. 113.    >you're giving her a G-spot massage right now, even if it's tougher to do that without a stallion-shaped dick
  112. 114.    >and you don't think you could make a mare lose more IQ points in under a minute short of a lobotomy
  113. 115.    "D-did you come?"
  114. 116.    >"Humans spoil mares, Moondancer."
  115. 117.    >tight or not, you slowly fuck her brains out for a half-hour straight before giving her the cooler
  116. 118.    >and by that, you mean a load of monkey spunk where it'll do a heated mare the most good
  117. 119.    >by that point, she's past screaming and moaning and likely can't move from the neck down
  118. 120.    >when you finish, she's gurgling contentedly
  119. 121.    >this is disturbingly normal in well-fucked mares
  120. 122.    >a warm, damp towel under the tail for the inevitable results
  121. 123.    >more cuddles for the come-atose mare
  122. 124.    "Sssssoo wurthit."
  123. 125.    *SNOOOOOORK*
  124. 126.    >out like a light
  125. 127.    >fortunately, you booked Moondancer for the night
  126. 128.    >she paid double the going rate, after all
  127. 129.    >and it's like hugging a body pillow with hooves that go kicky-kicky occasionally with pony dreams
  128. 130.    >you spoon the Moon in your torn up sheets
  129. 131.    >pull a thin one over the top of you so she doesn't get cold later on
  130. 132.    >and doze off, dreaming of chocolate cake for breakfast
  131. 133.     
  132. 134.    END.
  133. 135.     
  134. 136.    >your name is Moondancer
  135. 137.    >and you can't feel your hindquarters
  136. 138.    >well, you can but it's all happy-tingly and you might move if the house is on fire
  137. 139.    >but only a little
  138. 140.    >there's these big arms around you
  139. 141.    >and something damp against your tail
  140. 142.    >actually feels rather nice
  141. 143.    >and this isn't your bed
  142. 144.    >normally, you'd want nothing more than to flee anything social and go curl up in your nice safe hovel
  143. 145.    >perhaps with something trashy
  144. 146.    >heat always leaves you too flustered to read something worth reading anyway
  145. 147.    >but not tonight
  146. 148.    >there's a nice breeze sneaking in through the curtains
  147. 149.    >and you're totally not feeling that tail-lifting itch anymore
  148. 150.    >or any of the other usual itches, either
  149. 151.    >you've never been this dirty or felt this clean at the same time
  150. 152.    >...that might change if you don't find the bathroom
  151. 153.    >wiggle out of the giant monkey arms
  152. 154.    >get sleepy flank-grabbed
  153. 155.    >Anon's bathroom is -huge-
  154. 156.    >you almost drop the towel you're holding against your backside in shock
  155. 157.    >luckily, the important part has a double seat
  156. 158.    >what went in, must go out
  157. 159.    >how did so much go in?
  158. 160.    >ooh, wet wipes
  159. 161.    >aside from the wobble-walk, your first post-coital experience mess has been averted
  160. 162.    >thinking about that....
  161. 163.    >well, it's worth some more wobble
  162. 164.    >suddenly, you feel the anxiety hit you
  163. 165.    >this is a strange house
  164. 166.    >with a human
  165. 167.    >and he probably thinks your his special somepony
  166. 168.    >you almost climb out the window
  167. 169.    >but it's a long drop to the ground
  168. 170.    >better to sneak out the front door before he wakes up
  169. 171.    >and so you're halfway past the kitchen table when you see all the papers covering it
  170. 172.    >bills
  171. 173.    >fines for half a dozen minor social offenses
  172. 174.    >damages due for accidental breakages
  173. 175.    >I guess being a big guy in a pony-sized world isn't easy
  174. 176.    >there's a checkbook
  175. 177.    >...aside from the bits you just paid Anon, there's not much else in there
  176. 178.    >he's in trouble
  177. 179.    >but he's so good!
  178. 180.    >*thump* He's behind you, isn't he?
  179. 181.    >think fast
  180. 182.    >ZIP goes the icebox door
  181. 183.    >ZOOM goes the cake
  182. 184.    >SLICE goes the knife
  183. 185.    >CLATTER CLATTER
  184. 186.    >"Did....did you want some dessert?"
  185. 187.    "It's three in the morning, Moondancer."
  186. 188.    >"Um...I guess that means this is breakfast?"
  187. 189.    ---
  188. 190.     
  189. 191.    >You are Anon
  190. 192.    >It is three in the morning
  191. 193.    >Clearly, this means it is Cake O Clock
  192. 194.    >here, at the kitchen table
  193. 195.    >with the mare you were hired by to take her V-card
  194. 196.    >a job well done, you might add
  195. 197.    >but she looks nervous behind her concealing mask of chocolate icing
  196. 198.    "Um, Anon? What do you do when you aren't doing me?"
  197. 199.    >Call it stupid-o-clock too
  198. 200.    >she's blushing like a furnace
  199. 201.    >"Well, whatever odd jobs ponies actually feel like giving to a "hooman" they're scared shitless of."
  200. 202.    >"Which isn't much, or often."
  201. 203.    >heck, you got that job pulling weeds around where you met Moondancer because the maint ponies thought it smelled too funny
  202. 204.    >you can't be choosy
  203. 205.    >having everything made special for you in a ponysize world isn't cheap
  204. 206.    >you didn't know it smelled so "funny" because there was a reclusive grungymare in heat
  205. 207.    >heck, you just thought it was old mare smell or some shit
  206. 208.    >getting 800 bits (less expenses) for something out of a bad clopfic?
  207. 209.    >manna from heaven
  208. 210.    >especially since you usually were the one paying Bunny Bubbles out on the corner for the ol' cuddle slap and tickle
  209. 211.    >hey, a frustrated Anon has his needs
  210. 212.    >and you made sure Bunny got hers met too
  211. 213.    >she gave you a 10-bit-10-minute discount for each time she didn't fake an orgasm
  212. 214.    >30 bit discounts happened often
  213. 215.    >you were motivated, after all
  214. 216.    >that extra half hour of cuddles was better medicine sometimes than the wingjobs
  215. 217.    >especially since you seemed cursed to knock shit over or crash into somepony important enough to demand compensation
  216. 218.    >it's not like you can find decent weed in Equestria
  217. 219.    >but thank Jeebus ponies actually are for sexual
  218. 220.    >you are Moondancer
  219. 221.    >and you're having a heart-to-heart with Anon
  220. 222.    >you think
  221. 223.    >he's mumbling something about tripping over ponies
  222. 224.    >and something about weed
  223. 225.    >around mouthfuls of cake
  224. 226.    >it's mostly comprehensible
  225. 227.    >I mean, it's really good cock
  226. 228.    >I MEAN CAKE
  227. 229.    "...and yeah. I mostly make do."
  228. 230.    >"But...why?"
  229. 231.    "Because ponies are scared of humans."
  230. 232.    >"How could anyone be scared?"
  231. 233.    >did you just say that, Miss Used To Hide In Your House?
  232. 234.    >I mean, Minuette and the girls get you outside once in a while, but you're always a stay-at-home
  233. 235.    >especially when you're in heat
  234. 236.    >like they are, it's that time in the summer
  235. 237.    >Lemon Drops is probably in total grumpy mode right now
  236. 238.    >And Minuette is probably bouncing off the walls
  237. 239.    >while you're sharing cake with-
  238. 240.    >Luna's plentiful plot, with the best cooler in Canterlot and nopony knows it but you
  239. 241.    >that little itch just twitched upside your plot
  240. 242.    >"Mr. Anon, a pony once told me friendships are the most important thing a pony could have."
  241. 243.    >"I'm your friend. And I know just the ponies that would love a human like you."
  242. 244.    >After they get the Anon Treatment, that is!
  243. 245.    >you are Anon
  244. 246.    >And this nerdy little unicorn is meticulously planning on pimping you out
  245. 247.    >Apparently, Moondancer likes reading law books when she's in heat
  246. 248.    >It's the equivalent of thinking about your naked grandmother when you popped an ill-timed boner
  247. 249.    >and she's writing on the back of a past due bill with chocolate icing and a stray feather from Bunny that must have gotten left behind
  248. 250.    >Celestia's kicked the sun up for dawn
  249. 251.    >she's still scribbling
  250. 252.    "OK. Sign here."
  251. 253.    >a bit of fudge drips off the end of the feather floating in front of your nose
  252. 254.    >along with what appears to be the first contract you've ever seen written with pasty filling
  253. 255.    >...damn, she's good at this
  254. 256.    >rates, reference bonuses, commissions
  255. 257.    >it's the kind of thing there has to be an OCD alicorn of Checklists to bless
  256. 258.    >Moondancer finds you jobs
  257. 259.    >she gets ten percent + a small commission for each successful referral you get paid for
  258. 260.    >no jobs, no pay
  259. 261.    >and you get to say no to any job you don't like
  260. 262.    >what's a reclusive bookhorse going to do, work you to death getting her neighbors to let you clean their gutters for six bits each?
  261. 263.    >you sign the slightly smeary bottom line
  262. 264.    >this way, fewer ponies fainting when you knock on the door and ask if they want anything done
  263. 265.    >you are Moondancer, on your way home in the early morning
  264. 266.    >EEEEEEEEE!
  265. 267.    >he signed the contract!
  266. 268.    >it's a sweet contract
  267. 269.    >not just because you used fudge to write it
  268. 270.    >you're Anon's agent now
  269. 271.    >it's summer
  270. 272.    >and Lemon Drops is coming over for lunch
  271. 273.    >normally, you'd kinda be scared
  272. 274.    >now, you're excited
  273. 275.    >Canterlot is hell for a horny mare
  274. 276.    >Guards are no-touchy-allowed and the armor has anti-seduction enchantments built in
  275. 277.    >the stallion population is small
  276. 278.    >and rich mares like Fluer De Lis shrink the pool even further by contracting stallions like Fancy Pants
  277. 279.    >a pony is lucky for a minute-long poke from a bored, stinky stallion
  278. 280.    >Anon boned you like a stallion god
  279. 281.    >nonchalantly
  280. 282.    >you'd be dropping hay around him with no excuse to come back
  281. 283.    >except ~you're his agent now~
  282. 284.    >and that gives you all the excuses you need until you make your stallion-to-be famous, rich, and utterly grateful
  283. 285.    >if you can get the nerve up to ask Anon Superstallion again for...all that
  284. 286.    >your tail flips a neat figure-eight just thinking about it
  285. 287.    >first, Lemon Drops
  286. 288.    >"Hiiiiii, Lemon Drops!"
  287. 289.    "Grlglhumph growf..."
  288. 290.    >For someone working for the Princess, she's really not all that sunny right now.
  289. 291.    >Lunch is leftover cake
  290. 292.    >it's cookies that are a sometimes food
  291. 293.    >then you say the magic words
  292. 294.    >"Dropsy? ~I know a cooler~"
  293. 295.    "No wonder I want to pull out your tail."
  294. 296.    >Wow, she is REALLY puckering about not getting any!
  295. 297.    >"...for two hundred bits for a half hour."
  296. 298.    >...her face is so frozen in shock you could call her Lemon Sherbert instead
  297. 299.    "T-t--that's not even seven bits a minute! "
  298. 300.    >"AND he throws in a post-cuddle afterwards for free."
  299. 301.    "You?"
  300. 302.    >*happy horse noises and mane tossings*
  301. 303.    "Him?"
  302. 304.    >*whinnying noises intensifying*
  303. 305.    "Me?"
  304. 306.    >"He's an exotic cooler."
  305. 307.    "Tomorrow night?"
  306. 308.    >"I can see if he'll write you in."
  307. 309.    "Oh please please please please PLEASE get him to write me in! What is he? A thestral? I hear they're got...endurance..."
  308. 310.    >Somepony's been ogling the Night Court again.
  309. 311.    >"It'll be a surprise!"
  310. 312.    >you are Anon
  311. 313.    >And there's a nerdy pony at your door hopping up and down
  312. 314.    "Anon! Anon! I found you a job!"
  313. 315.    >here comes the gutter cleaning
  314. 316.    "Two hundred bits!"
  315. 317.    >wait, what?
  316. 318.    "Her name's Lemon Drops and she works at the castle and she TOTALLY wants you to do her!"
  317. 319.    >Wait, WHAT?
  318. 320.    >"Do....what?"
  319. 321.    "To do her! Like you did me! Only she's not a virgin. I don't think, anyway."
  320. 322.    >"...you know I can say no."
  321. 323.    >If they're anything like Moondancer, you're not that desperate for pone or bits right now
  322. 324.    >She's giving you eyes behind those taped-up glasses
  323. 325.    >Oh shit, she's gonna start crying
  324. 326.    >"...yes."
  325. 327.    "YES!"
  326. 328.    >"...but I can still say no."
  327. 329.    "THATSGREATSHELLBEOVERATSIX"
  328. 330.    >Apparently, sex changes a mare
  329. 331.    >Better clean up the kitchen.
  330. 332.    >And maybe buy a cake. Something citrusy.
  331. 333.    >...there's a smoke trail heading for Moondancer's house
  332. 334.    >too bad, you were going to invite her to go bakery shopping
  333. 335.     
  334. 336.    ---
  335. 337.     
  336. 338.    >you are Moondancer
  337. 339.    >and you just dropped a hay bale's worth of spagoots convincing Anon
  338. 340.    >but it's happening
  339. 341.    >Lemon Hearts co-worker is gonna go visit Anon
  340. 342.    >the magics will happen
  341. 343.    >and your Anon will be one-hundred eight-four bits richer
  342. 344.    >and he'll have years and years studding it up
  343. 345.    >all thanks to you
  344. 346.    >...they can have his dick, but you've had his cake
  345. 347.    >and he buys books
  346. 348.    >and likes spas
  347. 349.    >you didn't even know you liked spas till Anon
  348. 350.    >and he'll be SO grateful
  349. 351.    >and then you'll ask him to be your special somepony and live happily ever after
  350. 352.    >if this works out, you are gonna have SUCH a story to tell Lemon Hearts over the weekend
  351. 353.    >it can't go wrong!
  352. 354.    >you are Anon
  353. 355.    >and you are incredibly fucking nervous
  354. 356.    >there's a lemon vanilla pound cake on the table
  355. 357.    >two dishes
  356. 358.    >one spoon
  357. 359.    >but you can get another one if it gets awkward
  358. 360.    >and you've got a supposedly horny mare due to visit in under 5 minutes
  359. 361.    >no pressure
  360. 362.    >well, except not fapping today
  361. 363.    >Moondancer said:
  362. 364.    "Well, I won't make you nervous by hanging around all day!"
  363. 365.    >you'd have taken friendship with cuddle benefits
  364. 366.    >she IS kinda cute even when she's dropping pasta
  365. 367.    >mares are weirder things to understand than even human women
  366. 368.    >the door!
  367. 369.    >Given the color, it has to be Lemon Drops
  368. 370.    >definitely that yellow on an earth pony
  369. 371.    >that sour expression on her older face, definitely a previous generation to Moonie's
  370. 372.    >a mane that's going in almost as many directions as Moondancer's does
  371. 373.    >...smells sorta like Pledge
  372. 374.    >Her eyes go up...and up...and up...
  373. 375.    >"Welcome! Would you like some...cake?"
  374. 376.    >You tap the spoon against a plate
  375. 377.     
  376. 378.    ---
  377. 379.     
  378. 380.    >you are Lemon Drops
  379. 381.    >and you're not getting any younger
  380. 382.    >which doesn't help much in competing for a stallion's attention
  381. 383.    >why do you when there's younger mares clamoring for a heat break
  382. 384.    >and the ones that will break the bank before they break the heat
  383. 385.    >...but there's this stallion
  384. 386.    >he's offering you cake
  385. 387.    >you like...pound cake
  386. 388.    >he pulls you up a chair
  387. 389.    >he gets himself a spoonful of cake
  388. 390.    >...it's in your mouth
  389. 391.    >you're getting spoon fed cake by this "Anon" fellow
  390. 392.    >Celestia knows, the next best thing to a good rutting is good cake
  391. 393.    >Celestia does eat a lot of cake
  392. 394.    >you're going through a generous slice
  393. 395.    >and he's running his...hoof? Paw?
  394. 396.    >~Hand~ through your mane
  395. 397.    >cake and petting and sugar in my lemonade he's massaging my ears with that "hand"
  396. 398.    *blissful horse noises*
  397. 399.    >you are Anon
  398. 400.    >and apparently the cake is a hit
  399. 401.    >or the petting
  400. 402.    >time for a two-hit combo
  401. 403.    >the cake hand comes up
  402. 404.    >but there is no spoon
  403. 405.    >*boop*
  404. 406.    >Lemon Drops' eyes cross as they try and focus on your boop strike and deal with the fingers teasing her ears, all at once
  405. 407.    >the jaw drops open as the lights flicker upstairs
  406. 408.    >pone.exe has crashed. Adore, Hnnngh, Cuddle?
  407. 409.    "Mmmm...mmmmm...Moondancer! Moondancer said you were a really good cooler! Ha, hahaha! Hahhhhhhhnnnmmmm..."
  408. 410.    >you get her jaw mostly back in place by rubbing your fingers under her chin
  409. 411.    >"Yeah, I'm pretty cool."
  410. 412.    >Smooth line, Anon.
  411. 413.    "I'm....really feeling hot tonight, Mister Anon. Could you...help a mare out?"
  412. 414.    >there's a bag of bits on the table
  413. 415.    >and that smell is getting stronger
  414. 416.     
  415. 417.    ---
  416. 418.     
  417. 419.    >you are Lemon Drops
  418. 420.    >and it's barely five minutes in and your deodorant is melting clean off your dock
  419. 421.    >you're going to start wafting desperate mare all over the apartment in no time
  420. 422.    >"Give me a moment. I need to freshen up, it's a long trot from the palace! Ha!"
  421. 423.    >you dash into the bathroom
  422. 424.    >everything is very...er...proportioned
  423. 425.    >you wonder if his equipment matches the equipment in here
  424. 426.    >what if he's some overendowed alien that'll split you in two with his monster dick?
  425. 427.    >the deodorant gets washed off your tail
  426. 428.    >the cold water helps get your head back under control
  427. 429.    >you'll head back out there and let that stallion know who's boss in this arrangement
  428. 430.    >out the door and-
  429. 431.    >there he is
  430. 432.    >on the bed
  431. 433.    >nothing on as Faust intended a pony to live
  432. 434.    >a stalk of grass in his mouth
  433. 435.    "I've got this grass stuck in my teeth. Could you...help me get it out?"
  434. 436.    >you were a champion jumper in your youth
  435. 437.    >you clear the bed in a single mighty leap
  436. 438.    >you get that grass out from between his teeth
  437. 439.    >with your mouth
  438. 440.    >and your tongue
  439. 441.    >he's nuzzling you like a pro
  440. 442.    >and you feel like the day after your cutie mark when that cute colt got his nose under your tail
  441. 443.    >those hands are everywhere
  442. 444.    >and cake doesn't even come close
  443. 445.    >you are Anon
  444. 446.    >and Lemon Drops has gone from sour to sweet
  445. 447.    >likely because you have the earth pony sitting on your face
  446. 448.    >and she's creaming
  447. 449.    >it's sorta foamy as you lick her
  448. 450.    >lemon meringue pony pie
  449. 451.    >Equestria definitely believes in encouraging oral sex
  450. 452.    >she's hanging onto the headboard for dear life
  451. 453.    >you're being horse-ridden
  452. 454.    >ten minutes later and your palate is cleansed but you're covered in yellow streaks from nose to chin
  453. 455.    >she looks down upon you like Moses upon the Promised Land
  454. 456.    >her back end slides with nary a hitch to grind against your hips
  455. 457.    "Anon? Cake me. I mean, take me!"
  456. 458.    >you take yourself firmly in hand and do just that
  457. 459.    >she ruts herself silly, surprisingly muscular legs bouncing her up and down on top of your member, the sea of purple drops undulating in the play of muscles
  458. 460.    >20 minutes or so in, the bouncing starts to slow
  459. 461.    >it's not that rough on you, she's maybe 90 pounds soaking wet
  460. 462.    >she's definitely soaking wet right now
  461. 463.    >and before she melts down completely, you give her what she came for
  462. 464.    >hands, playing with the tuft of chest hair as you let her weakening muscles slowly milk your spunk into her marebox
  463. 465.    >Lemon Drops goes boneless as she's boned
  464. 466.    >and you're left holding her up as the eyes roll back into her skull and there's nothing but sated mare
  465. 467.    >a puddle forms around your balls
  466. 468.    >shower definitely in order
  467. 469.    >Lemon Drops refuses to let your dick go, however
  468. 470.    >this doesn't stop you from picking her impaled self up, leaving a sticky trail into the bathroom and starting the water up
  469. 471.    >showering with a sleeping pony riding your dick is a new sensation too
  470. 472.    >but the warm water is enough to finally relax her wide enough to free your semi-stiffie
  471. 473.    >you sit in the shower with Drops wet pony on wet human
  472. 474.    >as you fall asleep with her head on your shoulder, there's a glow on the shower and the water turns off
  473. 475.    >a towel floats off the rack and tousels your hair
  474. 476.    >and dries you off
  475. 477.    >and then you float up with your pony still attached
  476. 478.    >WTF, Moondancer?
  477. 479.    >you are Moondancer
  478. 480.    >and Anon is everything you knew he could be
  479. 481.    >you can hear Dropsy getting everything your Anon has to offer
  480. 482.    >He's showing off that long-lasting dick trick of his and she's done for
  481. 483.    >into the shower they go
  482. 484.    >you make sure the water is just right
  483. 485.    >finally, her hungry marevag unclamps
  484. 486.    >he's stuck with her in the shower
  485. 487.    >this does not do for Anon
  486. 488.    >you towel him off
  487. 489.    >then you lift them both into bed so he can get some cuddle time in, as promised
  488. 490.    >funny look he gave you floating by
  489. 491.    >clearly, nobody loved Anon like you do
  490. 492.     
  491. 493.    ---
  492. 494.     
  493. 495.    >you are Anon
  494. 496.    >and your after-sexing has an assistant
  495. 497.    >back to bed without touching the floor
  496. 498.    >earth pony blanket sprawled over your chest
  497. 499.    >she even fluffed the pillows
  498. 500.    >you half expected to find a mint
  499. 501.    >but you'll take sleepy pone lover cuddles
  500. 502.    >maybe Moondancer will want to pile on?
  501. 503.    >...she's gone?
  502. 504.    >no, that laughter means she was going
  503. 505.    >Girl takes this helping job way too seriously
  504. 506.    >you'll talk to her...hrmph....sygnzzz
  505. 507.    >when you and Lemon Drops wake up in the morning
  506. 508.    >your name is Lemon Drops
  507. 509.    >and it's sometime in the morning
  508. 510.    >and you're being hugged like a filly's favorite plushy
  509. 511.    >and his hand is wet
  510. 512.    >you've been licking it in your sleep
  511. 513.    >humans have salty skin
  512. 514.    >looks funny, tastes great
  513. 515.    >...tarts and treacle, it's almost NOT MORNING
  514. 516.    >YOU'RE LATE TO WORK
  515. 517.    >LEMON HEARTS IS GOING TO HANG YOU FROM THE CHANDELIER
  516. 518.    >THERE'S A BANQUET IN TWO HOURS
  517. 519.    >you roll out from Anon's grip
  518. 520.    >roll back in to smooch him on the cheek
  519. 521.    >gallop out the door
  520. 522.    >dash back in to toss another bag of bits on the table next to the cake
  521. 523.    >gallop out of the apartment building
  522. 524.    >you feel ten years younger and ready to take on the world
  523. 525.    >or maybe the world speed record to the castle
  524. 526.    >leaving a trail of upended ponies, you might just break it
  525. 527.    >behind you, you vaguely catch Moondancer waving goodbye
  526. 528.    >she is so invited for tea tomorrow
  527. 529.    >OH BUCK CABBAGE CART
  528. 530.    "MY CABBAGES!"
  529. 531.    >*BANG*
  530. 532.    >...you'll pay for that later. Onwards!
  531. 533.     
  532. 534.    ---
  533. 535.     
  534. 536.    >you are Anon
  535. 537.    >you are waking up to the sound of galloping hooves
  536. 538.    >...your hand is covered in pony slobber
  537. 539.    >...your cheek is wet
  538. 540.    >...you've definitely had worse mornings
  539. 541.    >...oh, and Moondancer is at the foot of your bed and smiling at you
  540. 542.    >...she has pancakes
  541. 543.    >...this earns her an audience
  542. 544.     
  543. 545.    ---
  544. 546.     
  545. 547.    >you are Moondancer
  546. 548.    >and last night went fantastic!
  547. 549.    >you only had to stay up all night to make sure nothing went wrong or maybe if Anon needed a glass of water or something
  548. 550.    >well, that and you like watching him sleep
  549. 551.    >you made pancakes
  550. 552.    >Anon is pleased
  551. 553.    >you want to bounce around the room
  552. 554.    >that may be the large amount of coffee talking
  553. 555.    "Moonie, I was very surprised last night. I mean, in the middle of THAT?"
  554. 556.    >"It had to be perfect! I mean, you're perfect. And nobody appreciated you. But I do! And I know what it's like when nobody appreciates you and there's nobody to be your friend and just-"
  555. 557.    >Twilight Sparkle never showing up at your party
  556. 558.    >you're kinda really sleepy all of the sudden
  557. 559.    >Maybe another bucket of coff-*wobblethud*
  558. 560.    >you are Anon
  559. 561.    >there is a Moondancer on your floor
  560. 562.    >she is ded
  561. 563.    >...OK, she's just out cold
  562. 564.    >but still, dead to the world
  563. 565.    >why is it Moonie goes and does something weird every time you want to go shopping, anyway?
  564. 566.    >you gather the snoring little unicorn up and plunk her down in the somewhat grimy sheets
  565. 567.    >she gets a corner of them in her mouth and starts chewing on it in her sleep
  566. 568.    >well, better that than the pillows
  567. 569.    >one of which she's hugging suggestively
  568. 570.    >that's it
  569. 571.    >you're going out before something inappropriate happens to your bed
  570. 572.    >leave a note
  571. 573.    >"Moonie: Gone shopping, be back for lunch, try not to eat my sheets ~ Anon"
  572. 574.    >note to self: Buy more 4X (for pony) sized sheets for bed
  573. 575.    >At least it's easy to find decent pillows
  574. 576.    "Mmm, Anon...sooooo soft..."
  575. 577.    >We're done here.
  576. 578.    >Exit, Stage Front Door
  577. 579.    ZZNNNNNNNNNKKKKONK....
  578. 580.    >you are Moondancer
  579. 581.    >and it's mid-afternoon
  580. 582.    >and you're crashed hard on Anon's bed
  581. 583.    >deep in your fried brain, Anon is petting you...down there
  582. 584.    >you rub against his magical hand
  583. 585.    >it's so soft
  584. 586.    >you're hugging his chest for dear life, drinking in that alien-yet-stallion scent for all it's worth
  585. 587.    >Yes, yes....YE-
  586. 588.    >you're in Anon's room
  587. 589.    >on his bed
  588. 590.    >alone
  589. 591.    >and you've humped one of his pillows to shreds
  590. 592.    >there's Pegasus down stuck to your marebits
  591. 593.    >a dakimakura, it was not
  592. 594.    >but ...idea!
  593. 595.    >there's that pile of ruined sheets
  594. 596.    >you'll take care of those
  595. 597.    >have a few pillowcases made
  596. 598.    >cuddle pillow plans: made
  597. 599.    >see the note
  598. 600.    >lunch with Anon?
  599. 601.    >lunch FOR Anon.
  600. 602.    >what's in the pantry
  601. 603.    >noodles, spaghetti, ramen...a stallion after your "quick, boil it and eat it" heart
  602. 604.    >ramen it is
  603. 605.    >get the sheet stash out to your place
  604. 606.    >come back with a few eggs from the icebox back home, cause Anon's kitchen is pasta-products onry right now
  605. 607.    >fry em up with your horn and a mostly clean pan
  606. 608.    >boil some water
  607. 609.    >dump it out cause it looks funny
  608. 610.    >boil some more
  609. 611.    >doesn't look too funny, clean enough
  610. 612.    >ramen
  611. 613.    >fried egg on top
  612. 614.    >just in time, he's downstairs with some bags
  613. 615.     
  614. 616.    ---
  615. 617.     
  616. 618.    >you are Anon
  617. 619.    >and those bangin' bits are going to good use
  618. 620.    >groceries
  619. 621.    >laundry soap
  620. 622.    >duct tape (that chair looks like it needed some more)
  621. 623.    >even a little cheap ground from that Griffish deli down Mare Blanc Lane
  622. 624.    >ponies just don't into hamburgers
  623. 625.    >the scent of fresh food tickles your nostrils
  624. 626.    >and there's Moondancer, still looking a little frazzled but with steaming bowls of...
  625. 627.    >...well, shit. If there's anyone who's going to know what to do with ramen noodle cheap, it's gonna be Moonie
  626. 628.    >she looks like the kind of pony who hates wasting more than 5 minutes cooking
  627. 629.    >"Hey, Moon Unit Beta. Got started on lunch?"
  628. 630.    >the tail swishes like a happy puppy
  629. 631.    >once the icebox stuff is put away, you dig in
  630. 632.    >the eggs don't quite taste the same
  631. 633.    >how does she get them to cook so evenly?
  632. 634.    >itsmagicidonthavetoexplainshit.jpg
  633. 635.    >Right. Unicorns.
  634. 636.    >you are Moondancer
  635. 637.    >you've got some of that book to read
  636. 638.    >a bowl full of ramen noodles
  637. 639.    >and Anon
  638. 640.    >he uses a fork
  639. 641.    >you sort the noodles by length and suck them in by groups from longest to shortest, with proportional amounts of egg of course
  640. 642.    >Anon twirls a bunch on the end of his fork, spikes a chunk of egg and then noms the whole thing
  641. 643.    >that's predators for you
  642. 644.    >he smiles with those pointy teeth
  643. 645.    >it's a little scary
  644. 646.    >but in a good way, Anon has noticed me way
  645. 647.    >and he likes the ramen
  646. 648.    >and he's reading that book, too
  647. 649.    >bowl's perfectly clean
  648. 650.    >you go to put it into the sink
  649. 651.    >tail swish to the knee
  650. 652.    >noticemesenpai
  651. 653.     
  652. 654.    ---
  653. 655.     
  654. 656.    >you are Anon
  655. 657.    >And Moonie just gave you the come-hither with her tail
  656. 658.    >you can't help but look
  657. 659.    >somepony's a little grungy from last time
  658. 660.    >still
  659. 661.    >but she does clean up nicely
  660. 662.    >you've had nerdy girlfriends before
  661. 663.    >We can rebuild them
  662. 664.    >We have the technology
  663. 665.    >you clean up your bowl
  664. 666.    >"Whew! I was running around a LOT today."
  665. 667.    >"Gonna go hit the shower."
  666. 668.    >Gonna bait the hook, more like it.
  667. 669.     
  668. 670.    ---
  669. 671.     
  670. 672.    >you are Moondancer
  671. 673.    >pone.exe has shutdown Abort, Cry, Squee?
  672. 674.    >you follow him into the bedroom
  673. 675.    >he goes in the bathroom, the door closes...
  674. 676.    >....almost.
  675. 677.    >you can see him in there
  676. 678.    >should you be looking?
  677. 679.    >you can't stop peeking through the crack
  678. 680.    >he hangs his shirt on the doorknob
  679. 681.    >turns around
  680. 682.    >you can see him pulling off those blue "jeans" he likes to wear
  681. 683.    >the water turns on
  682. 684.    >it's getting steamy in there
  683. 685.    >he's taking off...my glasses! They fogged over!
  684. 686.    >you take them off and rub the water away from the lenses
  685. 687.    >when you put them back on, the bathroom door is open wider, letting a cloud of hot water into the bedroom
  686. 688.    >Anon's in the tub showering behind the curtain
  687. 689.    >it's just opaque enough that all you get is an outline
  688. 690.    >he's singing something about being "no stranger to love"
  689. 691.    >closer...
  690. 692.    >*fog*
  691. 693.    >Horseapples!
  692. 694.    >the glasses come off
  693. 695.    >you squint
  694. 696.    >you take a step into the bathroom
  695. 697.    >if you're quiet, he'll never notice
  696. 698.    >*SPLOOSH*
  697. 699.    "Oops!"
  698. 700.    >you are Anon
  699. 701.    >the target has entered the firing area
  700. 702.    >you get a nice double handful of water annnnd...
  701. 703.    >"Oops!"
  702. 704.    >...throw it over the curtain at the outline on the other side
  703. 705.    *ACK!*
  704. 707.    >water splattering everywhere
  705. 708.    >you pull the curtain aside to look out
  706. 709.    >she's wet from the neck up and shaking furiously
  707. 710.    >also blushing furiously
  708. 711.    "Anon, I'm..."
  709. 712.    >"All wet. May as well finish the job, so get in here."
  710. 713.     
  711. 714.    ---
  712. 715.     
  713. 716.    >you are Moondancer
  714. 717.    >and Anon just soaked you!
  715. 718.    >And then he noticed you were in there!
  716. 719.    >AND THEN HE INVITED YOU TO JOIN HIM!
  717. 720.    >d-does he really like-like you?
  718. 721.    >you stumble a little on the wet tiles
  719. 722.    >the glasses go sliding under the tub
  720. 723.    >you fumble for them
  721. 724.    >*FWUMPH*
  722. 725.    >you kicked over the towel rack
  723. 726.    >covered in pink polka-dotted fluffy cotton
  724. 727.    >he's laughing
  725. 728.    >is he laughing at you?
  726. 729.    >he must be laughing at you
  727. 730.    >why is he laughing at you?
  728. 731.    >towels go in all directions
  729. 732.    >and you run out the door with your wet mane hanging low in shame
  730. 733.     
  731. 734.    ---
  732. 735.     
  733. 736.    >you are Anon
  734. 737.    >What the fuck?
  735. 738.     
  736. 739.    ---
  737. 740.     
  738. 741.    >you are Moondancer
  739. 742.    >you are running away from embarrassing yourself in front of Anon like the clumsy goof you are
  740. 743.    >you are also running mostly blind as you realize that your glasses are still under the tub
  741. 744.    >*WHAM*
  742. 745.    >right into the kitchen chair
  743. 746.    >*CRASH*
  744. 747.    >skidding into the side of the counter
  745. 748.    >*SPLOOSH*
  746. 749.    >leftover dishwater cascading down while you thrash around, tangled in the debris
  747. 750.    >you are a bad pony
  748. 751.    >you're peeking on Anon when he's bathing
  749. 752.    >he's too good for a clumsy mare
  750. 753.    >he's picking you up out of the broken pieces of wood
  751. 754.    >he's...taking you back to the bathroom
  752. 755.    >"I....I can clean that up!"
  753. 756.    >he's taking you into the shower
  754. 757.    >he's...rubbing soap into your mane and fur
  755. 758.    >he's...he's...not mad at me?
  756. 759.     
  757. 760.    ---
  758. 761.     
  759. 762.    >you are Anon
  760. 763.    >and Moonie just sperged out on you
  761. 764.    >you're gonna need more duct tape next trip
  762. 765.    >but you also really need to clean up Moonie
  763. 766.    >not just the outside
  764. 767.    >you are still Anon
  765. 768.    >and there's a mare shivering in your tub with her eyes closed while you clean the dish-aster off her
  766. 769.    >you're sitting down with marebutt against your crotch
  767. 770.    >pony is not for sexual right now
  768. 771.    >even if it's a nice butt
  769. 772.    >crumbs of chicken abortion flow into the drain
  770. 773.    >you groom her, making soft, low wordless noises
  771. 774.     
  772. 775.    ---
  773. 776.     
  774. 777.    >you are Moondancer
  775. 778.    >and your eyes are screwed shut
  776. 779.    >if the drain water is a little salty, who will know
  777. 780.    >Anon is petting you
  778. 781.    >you can't make out what he's saying but it's nice
  779. 782.    >slowly, the shame and terror wash down the drain
  780. 783.    >it's hard to think when he rubs your ears like that
  781. 784.    >bad ponies don't get petted by giant stall- men, right?
  782. 785.     
  783. 786.    ---
  784. 787.     
  785. 788.    >you are Anon
  786. 789.    >and you laughed your ass off at the wrong time
  787. 790.    >ponies spook easier than humans, after all
  788. 791.    >even if it was funny
  789. 792.    >no horseplay with a qt mare in the shower today
  790. 793.    >just petting and a little rinse for the leftover soapy bits
  791. 794.    >the hot water finally starts to run out, so you turn it off
  792. 795.    >she's not shivering, but her eyes are still shut
  793. 796.    >luckily, there's a bunch of towels at floor level
  794. 797.    >rub the skin, rub the pony
  795. 798.    >wrap the pony up like a polka-dotted burrito,
  796. 799.    >dry your feet on the other towels
  797. 800.    >put the pone burrito on the bed
  798. 801.    >change the sheet
  799. 802.    >realize the pone is on the bed
  800. 803.    >try to change the fourth corner of the sheet one-handed
  801. 804.    >Mom made this look easy
  802. 805.    >succeed
  803. 806.    >put pone on bed again
  804. 807.    >realize glasses are still in bathroom
  805. 808.    >get glasses...
  806. 809.     
  807. 810.    ---
  808. 811.     
  809. 812.    >you are Moondancer
  810. 813.    >you feel a lot better but you still can't see Anon clearly
  811. 814.    >if you look at him all squinty, he might laugh
  812. 815.    >so you keep your eyes shut till he puts you on the bed and walks away
  813. 816.    >still wrapped up
  814. 817.    >you try to unwrap yourself with a little hornwork
  815. 818.    >nothing but sparks
  816. 819.    >you...spark like a little filly when you get scared
  817. 820.    >at least you didn't drop anything else
  818. 821.    >something is on your face
  819. 822.    >glasses?
  820. 823.    "Feeling a little better, Moonie?"
  821. 824.    >
  822. 825.    >you are Moondancer
  823. 826.    >and you can see clearly now, the shower's gone
  824. 827.    >well, that and your glasses
  825. 828.    >you're on something soft
  826. 829.    >that would be Anon
  827. 830.    >you're also wrapped up in something soft
  828. 831.    >that would be an Anon-sized towel
  829. 832.    >it's kinda huggy
  830. 833.    >and you're about a foot away from Anon's face
  831. 834.    >who is also the huggy sort, come to think
  832. 835.    >*blush*
  833. 836.     
  834. 837.    ---
  835. 838.     
  836. 839.    >you are Anon
  837. 840.    >and the last time you did something like this was with a cat
  838. 841.    >worked about as well and less scratching this time, so win
  839. 842.    >She's blinking at you like an owl
  840. 843.    >Who?
  841. 844.    >Moondancer!
  842. 845.    >And then she blushes
  843. 846.    >"So...ready to talk about all this? I mean, if you're wrapped up in something, let me know."
  844. 847.    >THAT got her out of blushing
  845. 848.    *CRACKLE*
  846. 849.    >she proceeds to sprinkle you with harmless sparks out of her horn again
  847. 850.    >you briefly wonder if there's some kind of unicorn Viagra for performance issues
  848. 851.     
  849. 852.    ---
  850. 853.     
  851. 854.    >you are Moondancer
  852. 855.    >you just sparked all over Anon
  853. 856.    >RUN AWAY, something says
  854. 857.    >but you're all wrapped up
  855. 858.    >you sorta wiggle briefly before your body realizes it's going nowhere and the fit fades away
  856. 859.    >Anon wraps you up in his arms to keep you from rolling off his chest
  857. 860.    >you just bury your nose in his chest and breathe and try NOT to hyperventilate
  858. 861.    >think about books
  859. 862.    >books aren't big and scary
  860. 863.    >they're always happy to see you
  861. 864.    >...you end up with a mental picture of Anon instead
  862. 865.     
  863. 866.    ---
  864. 867.     
  865. 868.    >you are Anon
  866. 869.    >and there is a pony snuffling your chest
  867. 870.    >and smiling
  868. 871.    >So are you.
  869. 872.    >you are Anon
  870. 873.    >you have a captive audience
  871. 874.    >so you're going to get some answers
  872. 875.    >and you get them
  873. 876.    >none wrapped in the Towels of Truth can resist your questions
  874. 877.    >the potential for boops or nuzzles for the especially stubborn was not lost on your subject
  875. 878.    >Canterlot has a premium on males
  876. 879.    >which is likely why the only female sex worker in town you found was a lame-winged pegasus
  877. 880.    >horny mares tend to get -very- competitive as a result with compatible ones
  878. 881.    >long-term "escort" services, ride-by-night stallions that are here one day and gone the next with dubious contraceptive charms for quick money, or barrel-scrapers that you'd have to be that desperate to shag
  879. 882.    >being a mare in heat running around dozens of others in a city the same way qualifies as desperate
  880. 883.    >mares tend to pass along "cooler" references by word-of-mouth rather than trusting a random sheath-on-the-street
  881. 884.    >and Burritopone here was afraid some mare was going to come along and take advantage of you
  882. 885.    >thus the contract
  883. 886.    >the nerdicorn with freak-out issues, protecting you from bossy mares
  884. 887.    >your sexual expert agent who's had sex...once
  885. 888.    >this earns the pony nuzzlings for being adorkably fierce
  886. 889.    >"You know, this makes us friends with benefits."
  887. 890.    "B-benefits?"
  888. 891.    >"Yep. You keep the crazy mares from dragging me away, and...
  889. 892.    >*smooch* "Nose love."
  890. 893.    >*skritcha-skritch* "Ears love."
  891. 894.    > "Maaaaannnne love" -as your fingers neatly demolish her usual bun into a cloud of mane hair
  892. 895.    > then you braid it into a "fishtail"
  893. 896.    >while she tries to inch her way up your chest
  894. 897.    >any time she starts getting headway, you just casually stroke an ear
  895. 898.    >fingers are definitely an unfair advantage for humans in snuggle struggles
  896. 899.    >the old bun hairtie goes in at the bottom to hold everything in place
  897. 900.    >it's long enough to brush her hooves if she stood up
  898. 901.    >you instead use it to tickle her nose
  899. 902.    *achoo!*
  900. 903.    >OK, slightly ew.
  901. 904.    >you free the primped pony from her prison and put the towel to use
  902. 905.    >you are Moondancer
  903. 906.    >you have just sneezed in Anon's face
  904. 907.    >what, it's allergy season and he tickled your nose!
  905. 908.    >he's rubbing the towel over his face
  906. 909.    >while he's not looking, you prepare your revenge
  907. 910.    >the towel falls away
  908. 911.    >you lick his nose- humans look very funny when you do that
  909. 912.    >"Nose love."
  910. 913.    >you lip those funny round ear-ends he's got
  911. 914.    >"Ear love."
  912. 915.    >and you snuffle his head-mane for good measure
  913. 916.    >by the time you remember anything else but cuddling and rubbing each other, it's nearly sunset
  914. 917.    >and there's a knock-knock-knockity on the door
  915. 918.     
  916. 919.    ---
  917. 920.     
  918. 921.    >you are Anon, and someone's come a-calling
  919. 922.    >you scoop Moonie off the bed and go find out
  920. 923.    >it's blue
  921. 924.    >it's bouncing
  922. 925.    >it's a unicorn with an hourglass on her butt
  923. 926.    "Ohmygoodness Moondancer! You did your hair!"
  924. 927.    >you watch as the greeting rituals of females regardless of species unfold
  925. 928.    >You recognize words like "hoof polish", but most of it is lost in some strange squealing-giggling patois that nothing with testicles can comprehend
  926. 929.    "And I went over to visit Lemon Hearts and...*whisperwhisperwhisper*"
  927. 930.    "She didn't!"
  928. 931.    "She DID! Lemon Drops was whizzing around like a divebombing pegasus! And she said to Lemon Hearts *whisperwhisperwhisper*
  929. 932.    "ME?"
  930. 933.    "You! Sooooo....who's your snuggle stallion? Ya gotta tell me! He's supposed to be tall and dreamy and..."
  931. 934.    >Moondancer's back to being red in the face
  932. 935.    >and she bumps her flank against your leg
  933. 936.    >actually, she's hiding behind you and peeking out now
  934. 937.    "You mean...?"
  935. 938.    >Minuette looks you up
  936. 939.    >and down
  937. 940.    >and stops about just below the belt line
  938. 941.    >and up again
  939. 942.    >and without a pause, she bounces around your leg and takes a good sniff of Moonie's mane
  940. 943.    "Oooh, did -I- interrupt some serious snuggling with you and a -really cool stallion-?"
  941. 944.    >you get the feeling there's some more mare-code in there
  942. 945.    "We were just snuggle-snuggling!"
  943. 946.    >your marefriend-cum-agent is starting with the fireworks again
  944. 947.    >so you pick her up
  945. 948.    >This doesn't stop Minuette
  946. 949.    >you are Moondancer
  947. 950.    >and Anon has picked you up
  948. 951.    >which feels safer
  949. 952.    >except that Minuette is better known as the "Dancing Dentist"
  950. 953.    *BOING*
  951. 954.    "He IS! Ohmygoshohmygoshishe *BOING* contractedhowdidyouaffordhimdidyou *BOING* winthelottery-"
  952. 955.    >"I'm his frontmare!"
  953. 956.    "you...what...wha....wow?"
  954. 957.    *WHOMP*
  955. 958.    >she didn't stick the landing
  956. 959.    "awk~ward!"
  957. 960.    >"You wanted to know if he could cover for you."
  958. 961.    "Like...yes?"
  959. 962.    >"Tomorrow?"
  960. 963.    >You see the light of hope dawn in her eyes
  961. 964.    "Yes?"
  962. 965.    >"Anon, is your schedule clear tomorrow?"
  963. 966.     
  964. 967.    ---
  965. 968.     
  966. 969.    >you are Anon
  967. 970.    >Moondancer is scheduling you for an appointment
  968. 971.    >the appointee is currently tangled in your feet in a rather awkward position
  969. 972.    >nothing wrong with that, mind you
  970. 973.    >"Why...sure, Moondancer! I can cover for Minuette tomorrow night."
  971. 974.    >suddenly, your legs are nearly being mashed together
  972. 975.    "Thank you! On the first day? I am -so- lucky. I'll be by tomorrow at six and couldyoupleaseputMoondancerdownsoIcanthankhertoo"
  973. 976.    >you cautiously put the unicorn down and back away slowly
  974. 977.    "Eeeeeeeee!"
  975. 978.    >Note to self: powerful, death-hug dealing legs
  976. 979.    >Moondancer is doomed as the hugbeast two-leg-hops around with your favorite pony clasped to her barrel
  977. 980.    >once she puts down your unicorn, she comes over and sniffs your hand
  978. 981.    "You smell nice and herdy. This is gonna be SO GOOD!"
  979. 982.    >and just like that, she digs out a bag, plunks it down in your hand, rubs noses with Moonie and walks out, though you're not sure her hooves are touching the ground
  980. 983.    >yep, that's a few hundred bits
  981. 984.    >"So, what does Minuette do that she needs me to cover her on the night shift for?"
  982. 985.    "She....um...actually, she works at a dressage club...she's going through dental school."
  983. 986.    >...she does the pony version of stripping?
  984. 987.    >sweat begins to bead on your forehead
  985. 988.    >you're going to be dancing for ponies in a strip joint?
  986. 989.    >where's a hanky?
  987. 990.    "No, no, no! She wants you to COVER her. You know...covering?"
  988. 991.    >your mind conjures being on a stage trying to dress a scantily clad dancing pony
  989. 992.    >you are Moondancer
  990. 993.    >and Anon is being clueless
  991. 994.    >not sure if on purpose
  992. 995.    >seriously, sexiest thing on two legs in the room and he can't get decent innuendo
  993. 996.    >"She wants you-covering-her, Anon."
  994. 997.    >you turn around and flip your tail
  995. 998.    >"You know...back here?"
  996. 999.    >It's tough wearing any clothing on your back end when you're in heat
  997. 1000.   >that stuff stains everything, and it smells, and...
  998. 1001.   >...well, Minuette dresses up in fancy clothing that doesn't take heat time well
  999. 1002.   >which means calling out hot
  1000. 1003.   >which means no working for most of two weeks
  1001. 1004.   >stallions don't have to deal with their bits getting drippy for weeks at a time
  1002. 1005.   >or needing to pee at random
  1003. 1006.   >or using coolers
  1004. 1007.   >there's a reason mares rule the world, and it's compensating for stupid heats
  1005. 1008.   >and Anon has picked you up mid-internal-rant and is teasing your dock
  1006. 1009.    
  1007. 1010.   ---
  1008. 1011.    
  1009. 1012.   >you are Anon
  1010. 1013.   >and the thought of pony un-strippers is a whyboner moment
  1011. 1014.   >but there it is
  1012. 1015.   >just as Moondancer flips her tail up
  1013. 1016.   >and leaves it up, lost in thought
  1014. 1017.   >the pony is being distracting
  1015. 1018.   >so you will take the pony to bed
  1016. 1019.   >one hand under the front
  1017. 1020.   >one hand full of extra-filling unicorn butt
  1018. 1021.   "A-anon!"
  1019. 1022.   >the Anon train has no brakes
  1020. 1023.   >you bare your predatory fangs and chomp tenderly one buttcheek, making fierce nomming noises
  1021. 1024.   >squealing kicky pony cannot escape
  1022. 1025.   >you destroy Moondancer's butt with fierce raspberries on her chubby back, then plant your filthy monkey muzzle in her belly and ruin that for good measure
  1023. 1026.   >The Anon feasted well on pony that night, and the quivering remains warmed his flesh throughout the night until they had to pee and wash off the slobber marks in the bathroom
  1024. 1027.   >you are Moondancer
  1025. 1028.   >it's the depths of the night
  1026. 1029.   >Anon is sleeping off having ravaged you in bed, the beast
  1027. 1030.   >you plan to do something depraved in bed next to him while he's asleep yourself
  1028. 1031.   >sneak into the kitchen
  1029. 1032.   >grab what you need without a sound
  1030. 1033.   >crawl back into bed
  1031. 1034.   >try to be quiet
  1032. 1035.   >make a few slurping, smacking sounds next to Anon until you swallow the last drops, leaving only a thin white mark on your nose
  1033. 1036.   >Cake and a glass of milk in someone else's bed when they're asleep is soooooo naughty!
  1034. 1037.   >you are Anon
  1035. 1038.   >it's morning
  1036. 1039.   >you're hungry
  1037. 1040.   >there's a plate with a few crumbs and an empty glass of once-milk on the nightstand
  1038. 1041.   >more crumbs in bed
  1039. 1042.   >clearly, you are a lousy sleepeater
  1040. 1043.   >Also, a note:
  1041. 1044.   >"Can't take another sick day, needed at work- in case of emergency, at the library."
  1042. 1045.   >and it's signed with Moondancer's cutie mark
  1043. 1046.   >that's a neat trick
  1044. 1047.   >but it means you've got six hours or so to kill
  1045. 1048.   >and some spare bits from that advance
  1046. 1049.   >some horseplay is in order
  1047. 1050.   >and the Racetrack Arcade is six blocks down the way
  1048. 1051.   >sure, not much in the way of vidyagaming
  1049. 1052.   >but they DO have skeeball
  1050. 1053.   >and the prizes are a lot better than the ones you remember from Freddy Fazbear's back home
  1051. 1054.   >the mushroom pizza's pretty good too
  1052. 1055.   >with the little-little ponies in school, only a few random adults are there to nosh on greasy slices and play the games
  1053. 1056.   >you wave at an acned-out scrawny stallion with a 50's robot for a butt mark
  1054. 1057.   >he's out on a date with some white-slinky unicorn who's more interested in talking about clothes than playing
  1055. 1058.   >poor bastard
  1056. 1059.   >but even he's date material in Canterlot
  1057. 1060.   >the ball pit is fun, though that one pegasus that decides to powerbomb it at full flight speed blows all the balls out
  1058. 1061.   >all you saw was rainbows before being swept out the entrance
  1059. 1062.   >they gave you an extra hour for that after booting the birdbrain
  1060. 1063.   >many tickets towards one of the Super Jingly Grand Prize were had, but some earth pony walked out with all four of the ones on the shelf as you were going to cash them in!
  1061. 1064.   >you vow revenge in classic six-year old fashion as a mountain of stuffed animals with a pink fluffy tail somehow gets outside without losing so much as a Giant Mister Sparky (tm) Dragon Doll
  1062. 1065.   >you order two large Shroomvrooms as usual
  1063. 1066.   >large for pony is half a medium for Anon at best
  1064. 1067.   >...seeing that pony in the cowboy hat looking longingly at your superior choice in dishes, though...
  1065. 1068.   >...OK, you take two of those slices extra cheese instead
  1066. 1069.   >you're still Anon
  1067. 1070.   >you've had your balls blasted, your prizes pinched
  1068. 1071.   >you're not going to be a pizza prick
  1069. 1072.   >and sure enough, once you're clear she snags the slices you left behind
  1070. 1073.   >clearly best pony material today
  1071. 1074.   >you demolish your folding slices of mixed mushroom magnificence one after another
  1072. 1075.   >roasted portabellos soak up the spices and a bit of cheesy grease so well you'd swear it was sausage
  1073. 1076.   >cowpone and dressupcorn with date are hanging out at the table
  1074. 1077.   >from the jealous looks, best pony has best pizza
  1075. 1078.   >and dressupcorn has...probably something diet
  1076. 1079.   >some ponies have no idea how to enjoy a good pizza place, really
  1077. 1080.   >you leave with your stash of tickets (another time, Mister Sparky) and those leftover cheesy slices for home as the school crowd starts to roll in with scrounged lunch money and hungry eyes
  1078. 1081.   >and of course...it happens.
  1079. 1082.   >one little stampede of field-tripping colts and fillies try and push past the door at the same time with their haggard-looking teacher
  1080. 1083.   >something with a big red bow bashes into your knee
  1081. 1084.   >and the leftovers go flying
  1082. 1085.   >cheese-side down over two snooty fillies
  1083. 1086.   >what do you call a pink pony and a grey pony with pizza faces?
  1084. 1087.   >time to cheese it
  1085. 1088.   >luckily, the teacher was looking the other way
  1086. 1089.   >the rest of the class is too busy being a giggling distraction
  1087. 1090.   >you haul your goofy ass out of Arcadeland before Sky Eye or one of the other beat cops decides it's time for another ticket
  1088. 1091.   >you're still Anon, possibly wanted man for hit and run with pie
  1089. 1092.   >and your dash for freedom has taken you further down the street away from home
  1090. 1093.   >right onto Palace Street
  1091. 1094.   >it's a long, straight road to the Castle, and you never can miss the view
  1092. 1095.   >high in the sky, there's some loopy purple pegasus coming in on approach like a drunken chicken
  1093. 1096.   >she vanishes in a flash of purple light inches from crashing into a wall
  1094. 1097.   >hope that wasn't some kind of pony equivalent of a bug zapper
  1095. 1098.   >you did wonder how they kept the walls so clean
  1096. 1099.   >aaaaaand look at that it's one of Canterlot's finest!
  1097. 1100.   >midnight blue
  1098. 1101.   >telescope on the butt
  1099. 1102.   >it's your favorite pony po-po, Sky Eye!
  1100. 1103.   "I just got a call on a pie and run a few blocks down the way...so, Anon. What'd you have for lunch?"
  1101. 1104.   >"Pizza with mushrooms."
  1102. 1105.   >he sniffs your breath
  1103. 1106.   "...OK, it checks out. Assailant was armed with a cheese pizza. You're clear to go. THIS time."
  1104. 1107.   >and off he flies to terrorize a pink-maned adorableness slowly floating towards the palace
  1105. 1108.   "You! What'd you have for lunch?"
  1106. 1109.   "A-a-a pizza with extra cheese?"
  1107. 1110.   "And you were dropping slices on fillies for kicks, WEREN'T YOU?"
  1108. 1111.   >...and there's Blue Ballblaster, zipping in to argue with Sky Eye
  1109. 1112.   >least she's good backup
  1110. 1113.   >watching two flying ponies get into an argument while the third one tries to hide in a roof-full of pigeons (if the feathers coming over the side is any indication) is good entertainment
  1111. 1114.   >annnnd here come Cowpone and Dresshorse, dragging The Poor Bastard with her horn at the gallop
  1112. 1115.   >now they're all getting into it
  1113. 1116.   >annnnd there's the police whistle
  1114. 1117.   >Birds in Blue everywhere
  1115. 1118.   >hey, there's that bow-filly with a few friends
  1116. 1119.   >and she's...confessing?
  1117. 1120.   >Sky Eye is giving her the third degree
  1118. 1121.   >so is Cowpone
  1119. 1122.   >someone's going to bed without dessert tonight
  1120. 1123.   >they all start walking slowly back towards the arcade in a clump, the fillies looking dejected
  1121. 1124.   >"Hey! You! The filly with the bow!"
  1122. 1125.   >"You dropped these tickets!"
  1123. 1126.   "Ah...ah didn't drop anything!"
  1124. 1127.    
  1125. 1128.   >"You did, and after all that with the pizza? You should know not to deny that sorta thing."
  1126. 1129.   >and you stuff a double handful of play tickets into her saddlebag
  1127. 1130.   >there's not a chance in hell it all fit in there before
  1128. 1131.   >but you make it fit
  1129. 1132.   "Um....thanks?"
  1130. 1133.   >you bend over and whisper:
  1131. 1134.   >"Thanks for covering for me, kid. You lost some more at the prize counter, too."
  1132. 1135.   >considering she saved you at least fifty bits, it's a bargain
  1133. 1136.   >"Now stop dropping your stuff all over the street. Do you want to be known as..."
  1134. 1137.   >"...a SERIAL LITTERBUG?"
  1135. 1138.   >Dresshorse actually looks scandalized by the concept of hanging out with a filly delinquent.
  1136. 1139.   >Cowpone is just looking at you funny
  1137. 1140.   >she's on to you...
  1138. 1141.   >"Really, those kids left a trail all the way back to the arcade! Nice of them to come all the way here to help you mares out with the cops."
  1139. 1142.   >and with that, you wave and jog back down the street, missing stepping on most of the hooves as you go
  1140. 1143.   >you "find" the rest of the tickets and make sure Grand Prix holds them at the prize counter, then scoot before the herd gets in
  1141. 1144.   >dinner and a show, what could have been better?
  1142. 1145.   >...realizing Minuette's showing up at your apartment in an hour and Moondancer's off any minute and you forgot to clean up?
  1143. 1146.   >operation Dine and Dash must succeed!
  1144. 1147.   >you make it the six blocks back in under 10 minutes
  1145. 1148.   >and lo and behold, Moonie's at the door looking nervous
  1146. 1149.   >you sneak like the ninja you are
  1147. 1150.   >*CLOMP*
  1148. 1151.   >like the giant elephant on a squeaky hallway floor you are
  1149. 1152.   >and rub noses
  1150. 1153.   >ponies take smooching much more seriously
  1151. 1154.   >you're OK with the Eskimo Way anyhow
  1152. 1155.   "Time to panic clean?"
  1153. 1156.   >"Yep."
  1154. 1157.   "Got enough closet space?"
  1155. 1158.   >"Hope so."
  1156. 1159.   >you end up getting the bathroom back in order
  1157. 1160.   >Moonie proves that telekinesis > hands for stuffing a closet full of junk to the top and then making it shut and lock
  1158. 1161.   >you even manage to splash some water on your face and change shirts before it's quarter-to-six
  1159. 1162.   >because sauce stains ain't stylin', yo
  1160. 1163.    
  1161. 1164.   >sit on couch
  1162. 1165.   >next to Moondancer, who is back to the bun
  1163. 1166.   >"It made a great bookmark though", she tells you
  1164. 1167.   >professional faces on
  1165. 1168.   >two minutes in, look at each other's professional face and giggle, ruining it
  1166. 1169.   >six o' clock
  1167. 1170.   >six-oh-five
  1168. 1171.   >six-ten...*KNOCKKNOCKCRASH*
  1169. 1172.   >Moonie opens the door
  1170. 1173.   >there's Minuette
  1171. 1174.   >there's what appears to be a sock hanging from her horn and saddlebags up around her neck
  1172. 1175.   "Hi,Hi! I'm so sorry I'm late, I had to undress from work and..."
  1173. 1176.   >professional face status: rekt
  1174. 1177.   >Moondancer says something quietly in her ear that makes it perk up and swivel your way, then
  1175. 1178.   "You're sure you're OK with just you in here with a mare?"
  1176. 1179.   >"Long as I don't have to stuff them in the closet."
  1177. 1180.   >Minuette takes another pass at Moondancer on the way out the door
  1178. 1181.   >whatever she's telling her, it's making her almost goofy-dance her way around the corner
  1179. 1182.   "Oh, Anonnnn....can I use your bathroom to freshen up a little?"
  1180. 1183.   >isn't that Femalese for "I'm nervous and need some quick alone time?"
  1181. 1184.   >"Sure thing!"
  1182. 1185.   >you quietly hope you didn't miss anything in there
  1183. 1186.    
  1184. 1187.   ---
  1185. 1188.    
  1186. 1189.   >you are Minuette
  1187. 1190.   >and you're going to get REALLY well covered today
  1188. 1191.   >but that's just the bonus
  1189. 1192.   >you're totally going to get Anon hot to trot
  1190. 1193.   >keep him distracted till Moonie's properly dressed up
  1191. 1194.   >pop his cork like bubbly cider
  1192. 1195.   >and then you're going to fool with that filly till Luna goes to bed once you wear out Anon
  1193. 1196.   >shouldn't take more than two minutes, tops
  1194. 1197.   >you've always had a thing for Moondancer
  1195. 1198.   >but virgin bookhorses won't even go into a sock shop without spaghetti saddlebagging it
  1196. 1199.   >thanks to Anon, no more virgin
  1197. 1200.   >a healthy interest in getting more stallion time
  1198. 1201.   >and some outfits that'll "keep your stallion standing", as it were
  1199. 1202.   >they just happen to keep you tingly, too
  1200. 1203.   >you love Moondancer
  1201. 1204.   >not just platonically
  1202. 1205.   >but she'll never keep a stallion on her own and she won't herd up without one
  1203. 1206.   >you want Moondancer
  1204. 1207.   >and a nice stallion is a bonus
  1205. 1208.   >Anon's close enough
  1206. 1209.   >you get all your props in order…
  1207. 1210.   >you are Anon
  1208. 1211.   >and you're sitting on the bed waiting for Minuette to get her nerve up and come out of the potty
  1209. 1212.   >one last check for pizza breath
  1210. 1213.   >you're sucking on a mint anyway
  1211. 1214.   >and the bathroom door cracks open, just enough to let one well defined foot step past the threshold
  1212. 1215.   >and your vision becomes misty all of the sudden as the light turns off
  1213. 1216.   >the glow of magic, swirling uncountable filmy scarves of silk in the air
  1214. 1217.   >something leaps through the air
  1215. 1218.   >for a moment, the cloth-fog parts enough to show a mare, mid-leap
  1216. 1219.   >a flash of midnight blue, serpentine swirls across her legs that form themselves into socks even as she -slinks- down to the floor
  1217. 1220.   >the hint of a bi-colored tail, vanishing even as you realize it
  1218. 1221.   >a scarf *CRACKS* in the cloth-cloud, making you startle
  1219. 1222.   >the air, stirring brings a faint scent of arousal
  1220. 1223.   >a diffuse blue glow behind the veils
  1221. 1224.   >in the corner, she rises with perfect precision, an Equestrian pesade
  1222. 1225.   >into a two-legged leap!
  1223. 1226.   >up, over...her tail dusts the ceiling as a ribbon wraps itself around in a spiral, glitters like stars tying themselves into a neat bow at the base...
  1224. 1227.   >...and she lands on her front hooves, balanced as gracefully as a biped
  1225. 1228.   >...one foreleg comes up and stretches out lazily, and you can't help but watch the rippling flesh or the velvet hoof-cover that laces itself over the extended digit
  1226. 1229.   >then she switches effortlessly, and makes a little come-hither for good measure
  1227. 1230.   >something black and lacy rubs itself against your face like a lingerie cat
  1228. 1231.   >Minuette's hind legs go vertical
  1229. 1232.   >and the mare-panties she just stroked against you slide down to caress her ass
  1230. 1233.   >they leave absolutely nothing to the imagination
  1231. 1234.   >and even less when they start to show damp outlines
  1232. 1235.   >or when she twists a full 180 on that single hoof to show off the other side, teats straining to be contained beneath the heaving lace
  1233. 1236.   >you seriously begin to consider going totally ponysexual
  1234. 1237.   >you are Minuette
  1235. 1238.   >and Anon is most definitely out of his sheath
  1236. 1239.   >a day or so more and you'd probably have to use a fire hose to keep the stallions off during your routine
  1237. 1240.   >but right now, you're just interested in one
  1238. 1241.   >"How's it feel to be my Very Important Pony?"
  1239. 1242.   >"Would you like to...take my lead?"
  1240. 1243.   >and just like that, you sneak a bridle into his lap
  1241. 1244.   >periwinkle-flower accents in silver, and a nice strong bit strap for a stallion to hold on to tucked behind the ears
  1242. 1245.   >you don't think Anon will use his teeth there
  1243. 1246.   >but you wouldn't mind in the least
  1244. 1247.   >"Won't you put your pretty pony in her harness, Anon?", as you get back on all fours and mince, one hoof after another in a line that ends at Anon's knees
  1245. 1248.   >he's sweating like it's Midsummer, but his hands move almost unthinkingly
  1246. 1249.   >you purr as the padded straps slide over your head
  1247. 1250.   >and those delicious fingers brush the base of your horn
  1248. 1251.   >what is he...
  1249. 1252.   >ohhhhh he's got me by the ears
  1250. 1253.   >you didn't know you could do that to a mare's ears
  1251. 1254.   >nopony had done them to YOURS, anyway
  1252. 1255.   >you're close enough to smell his desire taking the bit in it's mouth and running
  1253. 1256.   >those pants have to be uncomfortable
  1254. 1257.   >they'll have to come off, but first...
  1255. 1258.   >you giggle and let the cloth orbit close around Anon's head, ribbons licking at his ears and leaving him in a world that's all you
  1256. 1259.   >and open the door for the -other- mare to get inside
  1257. 1260.   >her mane is braided
  1258. 1261.   >so's her tail
  1259. 1262.   >and she's wearing a nice purple schoolfilly's skirt that's a hair too small
  1260. 1263.   >you think the stripes on her panties underneath help make that big butt even more worth noticing
  1261. 1264.   >the stage is set
  1262. 1265.   >and Moondancer's quietly undoing his pants
  1263. 1266.   >you pull them down, making sure your velvety hooves measure Anon's best asset
  1264. 1267.   >...and let the cloth fall down like a springtime sprinkle as your lips meet Moondancer's at a rendezvous- between Anon's legs
  1265. 1268.    
  1266. 1269.   ---
  1267. 1270.    
  1268. 1271.   >you are Anon
  1269. 1272.   >and the veil has been dropped
  1270. 1273.   >and holy fuck, you're being double-teamed on the most expanded dong ever
  1271. 1274.   >you are still Anon
  1272. 1275.   >though perhaps you died somewhere and went to heaven
  1273. 1276.   >as there's two mares making out with your dick in the middle
  1274. 1277.   >Moondancer seems more interested in tasting you
  1275. 1278.   >Minuette is kissing you and managing to sneak in a few on Moonie's muzzle for good measure
  1276. 1279.   >and if Minuette is the teacher of "how to sex it up in clothes, Moondancer's the student
  1277. 1280.   >with the braids and ribbons
  1278. 1281.   >and that too-short skirt
  1279. 1282.   >and that tight, broad length of mare-do-well across her ass
  1280. 1283.   >all she'd need is pigtails and a lolly to finish the impression
  1281. 1284.   >lacking the lolly, she's decided to use you instead
  1282. 1285.    
  1283. 1286.   ---
  1284. 1287.    
  1285. 1288.   >you are Minuette
  1286. 1289.   >and you're discovering that humans are pleasantly salty
  1287. 1290.   >the sweaty parts you've freed from khaki bondage
  1288. 1291.   >the occasional taste you can get of what Moondancer's enthusiastically suckling on
  1289. 1292.   >it's definitely amateur night
  1290. 1293.   >most stallions would have popped off by now if she actually did it right
  1291. 1294.    
  1292. 1295.   ---
  1293. 1296.    
  1294. 1297.   >you are Anon
  1295. 1298.   >she's a natural at this
  1296. 1299.   >or really inspired
  1297. 1300.   >not that Minuette's hurting things with the go-team-testicle-licking bit
  1298. 1301.    
  1299. 1302.   ---
  1300. 1303.    
  1301. 1304.   >you are Moondancer
  1302. 1305.   >and you have no idea what you're doing, but Minuette said it's a great way to get a stallion spunking
  1303. 1306.   >Anon isn't, but you can taste your success
  1304. 1307.   >so you keep going until Minuette nips your neck!
  1305. 1308.    
  1306. 1309.   ---
  1307. 1310.    
  1308. 1311.   >you are Minuette
  1309. 1312.   >and you want Anon in YOUR mouth
  1310. 1313.   >after all, it'll be easier to tell when he's going off
  1311. 1314.   >and you're damn well going to get your money's worth of THAT where it'll do some good
  1312. 1315.   >there, she's off his rod
  1313. 1316.   >and you are gonna back on that
  1314. 1317.   *smack*
  1315. 1318.   >he....he spanked you!
  1316. 1319.   >he-he's got both hands on your panties and...
  1317. 1320.    
  1318. 1321.   ---
  1319. 1322.    
  1320. 1323.   >you are Anon
  1321. 1324.   >and Minuette needs to learn to share
  1322. 1325.   >both hands on the pony butts
  1323. 1326.   >under the panties
  1324. 1327.   >and just like that, you've got two mares with their heads on the bed and your fingers knuckle deep in their marehoods
  1325. 1328.   >Moonie's already soaking hers
  1326. 1329.   >Minuette's just shocked
  1327. 1330.    
  1328. 1331.   ---
  1329. 1332.    
  1330. 1333.   >you are Minuette
  1331. 1334.   >and Anon is doing heavenly things to your backside
  1332. 1335.   >you are Minuette
  1333. 1336.   >and Anon is riding your cunts like a team in harness
  1334. 1337.   >magic-clopping just doesn't feel the same as flesh, even if you can make funny shapes
  1335. 1338.   >you're gonna have to retire this pair after tonight
  1336. 1339.   >and frame the panties on the bathroom wall
  1337. 1340.   >he's playing you two like a one-pony band
  1338. 1341.   >*twitch*
  1339. 1342.   >if you weren't leaning on the bed, you'd have been on the floor
  1340. 1343.   >h-he's got a finger all slippery in the other hole!
  1341. 1344.   >AND he's still diddling you
  1342. 1345.   >AND he's still diddling her
  1343. 1346.   >and that splattering sound is Moondancer soiling her panties with an orgasm
  1344. 1347.   >and THAT sets you off when you watch that dorky cute face of hers twist up into something ridiculously sexy
  1345. 1348.   >you push against Anon's invasion of your nethers, and grunt as you can feel the two fingers moving as one
  1346. 1349.    
  1347. 1350.   ---
  1348. 1351.    
  1349. 1352.   >you are Anon
  1350. 1353.   >and you've just given your first pony shocker
  1351. 1354.   >two in the wink
  1352. 1355.   >one in the stink
  1353. 1356.   >she's got her mouth open and there's a line of drool hitting the ground as Minuette watches the other mare getting off while humping your hand for all it's worth
  1354. 1357.   >both have mostly forgotten about your dick in favor of sexually violating your digits
  1355. 1358.   >that's probably good for not blowing your load in the next few minutes
  1356. 1359.   >it's also good for them blowing theirs
  1357. 1360.   >Moondancer's panties are a soaking mess
  1358. 1361.    
  1359. 1362.   ---
  1360. 1363.    
  1361. 1364.   >you are Minuette
  1362. 1365.   >Moondancer is going to be ready for an all-nighter after this
  1363. 1366.   >and you're going to put Anon's dick to rest without mercy
  1364. 1367.   >if-if-iiiiiiiiffffff
  1365. 1368.   >"SWEET SASSY CELESTIA!"
  1366. 1369.   >you can get that hand out of your behind
  1367. 1370.    
  1368. 1371.   ---
  1369. 1372.    
  1370. 1373.   >you are Anon
  1371. 1374.   >you may have just sprained a few fingers when Minuette got off
  1372. 1375.   >at least the one in her ass
  1373. 1376.   >she shimmies her lacy tail and breaks free of your sodomizing
  1374. 1377.   "Ohhhhh Anon? I think I'm ready for you to get on top of me like the big stallion you are..."
  1375. 1378.   >what that look didn't melt is now diamonds
  1376. 1379.   >and she turns in place and presents, the magic outline pulling her panties tight one more time before abandoning them
  1377. 1380.   "I'm ready for my closeup..."
  1378. 1381.   >you are Moondancer
  1379. 1382.   >and Anon just knocked the starch out of your saddle
  1380. 1383.   >you crawl on to the bed, the wet making interesting feelings as the cloth squishes into your fur
  1381. 1384.   >you snuggle against a leg and pant
  1382. 1385.   >...and there's Minuette with her tail in the air and one thing on her mind
  1383. 1386.   >...you're still kinda sore from Anon
  1384. 1387.   >Minuette's in for a surprise!
  1385. 1388.    
  1386. 1389.   >you are Anon
  1387. 1390.   >and there's a ravenous unicorn out for your dick
  1388. 1391.   >the bed's actually the right height to match Anon slot A with Pony slot B
  1389. 1392.   >you just hold yourself straight and level and let Minuette find where she want's it
  1390. 1393.    
  1391. 1394.   ---
  1392. 1395.    
  1393. 1396.   >you are Minuette
  1394. 1397.   >and you've got Anon by the dick
  1395. 1398.   >against your finely tuned muscles, it won't take but a moment to get your cum~
  1396. 1399.   >two minutes
  1397. 1400.   >five minutes
  1398. 1401.   >...is he impotent or something?
  1399. 1402.   >nope, he's working your ass like it's overtime
  1400. 1403.   >you could do your next six routines to this beat
  1401. 1404.   >in 2/2 balls time
  1402. 1405.   >he keeps going...and going...
  1403. 1406.    
  1404. 1407.   >you are Anon
  1405. 1408.   >it's been about 15 minutes
  1406. 1409.   >and you are plenty ready
  1407. 1410.   >Moondancer rubbing her head against your side while you fuck is comforting
  1408. 1411.   >but your balls tighten and empty themselves
  1409. 1412.   >and all there is to anything is your dick and it's natural home, the pone
  1410. 1413.    
  1411. 1414.   ---
  1412. 1415.    
  1413. 1416.   >You are Minuette
  1414. 1417.   >And you manage to turn the scream into some weird noise
  1415. 1418.   >blame it on O-face
  1416. 1419.   >that satisfying, steady squirt of Vitamin D to the foal factory
  1417. 1420.   >...and you don't even have to worry about contraceptive charms
  1418. 1421.   >"Un-uhhhhh..."
  1419. 1422.   >Oh, Celestia....that hits the hotstpot!
  1420. 1423.   >he's picking you up
  1421. 1424.   >is he going to try for another round?
  1422. 1425.   >no
  1423. 1426.   >the pets
  1424. 1427.   >halp
  1425. 1428.   >I...
  1426. 1429.   >had plans
  1427. 1430.   >Mmmmmmmmmm
  1428. 1431.    
  1429. 1432.   ---
  1430. 1433.    
  1431. 1434.   >You are Anon
  1432. 1435.   >the very non-naked ponies are very messy right now
  1433. 1436.   >washday can wait
  1434. 1437.   >you've got one under each arm
  1435. 1438.   >the ruthless ear and neckplay dominates Minuette into obeying the racial need for after-sex snuggles
  1436. 1439.   >the bed is nice and warm with two ponies
  1437. 1440.   >you'll have to see what happens when you all wake up together tomorrow
  1438. 1441.   >you are Anon
  1439. 1442.   >it's a beautiful Canterlot morning, a few clouds starting to fly in for an afternoon shower
  1440. 1443.   >the feeling of cloth across your otherwise naked belly
  1441. 1444.   >that'd be from the two mares holding each other's cloth-covered legs entwined atop
  1442. 1445.   >you're not getting up yet is the clear message
  1443. 1446.   >Minuette snorts into your armpit and pulls Moondancer's leg over a bit further to her side
  1444. 1447.   >Moondancer flops over and puts her hindleg across your thighs
  1445. 1448.   >Minuette is...holding Moondancer's hoof between her forelegs and doing something that's probably very lewd
  1446. 1449.   >to ponies anyway
  1447. 1450.    
  1448. 1451.   ---
  1449. 1452.    
  1450. 1453.   >you are Moondancer
  1451. 1454.   >and you're still out cold
  1452. 1455.   >but someone's rubbing your hoof
  1453. 1456.   >mmm, just 10 more minutes...
  1454. 1457.    
  1455. 1458.   ---
  1456. 1459.    
  1457. 1460.   >you are Minuette
  1458. 1461.   >and you look like you're asleep, but you aren't
  1459. 1462.   >you've got Moondancer by the hoof
  1460. 1463.   >and you're not letting go, even if you have to drag half of her over that behemoth sleeping between you
  1461. 1464.    
  1462. 1465.   ---
  1463. 1466.    
  1464. 1467.   >you are Anon
  1465. 1468.   >two mares are apparently playing tug-of-war over your-man's-land
  1466. 1469.   >they both smell of slightly stale sex and sweat, but you like the smell of ponies
  1467. 1470.   >your arm is free to stroke Moondancer's back
  1468. 1471.   >and Minuette has her hoof-binkie against her muzzle
  1469. 1472.   >it's a nice lazy morning
  1470. 1473.   >you're not going to change that
  1471. 1474.   >you are still sleepy Moondancer
  1472. 1475.   >and you're chilly
  1473. 1476.   >the warm nice smell is gone
  1474. 1477.   >maybe it moved, you can smell it not too far off
  1475. 1478.   >it comes closer
  1476. 1479.   >warm and Anon and friend and fuzzy
  1477. 1480.   >good
  1478. 1481.   >cuddle!
  1479. 1482.    
  1480. 1483.   >you are Minuette
  1481. 1484.   >Anon slid out of bed to use the bathroom
  1482. 1485.   >Moondancer just made unhappy noises and pulled on your hoof until you slid over
  1483. 1486.   >she's using you as a pillow
  1484. 1487.   >and nomming your ear
  1485. 1488.   >she's also sucking the heat from you like some kind of sun vampire
  1486. 1489.   >it's actually really nice after the last few nights with the heat flashes
  1487. 1490.   >plus, she smells like Anon too
  1488. 1491.   >that's even better than just sweaty sexy mare
  1489. 1492.   >you nicker quietly and let her do whatever she likes
  1490. 1493.   >Minuette do like
  1491. 1494.    
  1492. 1495.   ---
  1493. 1496.    
  1494. 1497.   >you are Anon
  1495. 1498.   >and the only thing monstrous about this morning was the piss you had to take
  1496. 1499.   >when you come back, it's adorable
  1497. 1500.   >Moondancer is slobbering on Minuette's ear
  1498. 1501.   >they're tangled up in a pile of sheets, loose ribbons, and her panties are bunched up in the crack
  1499. 1502.   >actually, they're probably glued there
  1500. 1503.   >Minuette keeps making little happy horse noises and twitches
  1501. 1504.   >and their manes are disaster areas only a professional beautician could survive
  1502. 1505.   >they're four parts adorable, one part lewd
  1503. 1506.   >they shall have pancakes
  1504. 1507.   >pancakes are divine, after all
  1505. 1508.   >you make for the kitchen
  1506. 1509.   >you only need an apron for pancakes, after all
  1507. 1510.   >three tall stacks later, the bleary mare-zombies shuffle into the room
  1508. 1511.   >Minuette's halter is hanging askew over one ear
  1509. 1512.   >Moondancer's left-hind sock is mostly dragging along the floor as it clings grimly to her hoof
  1510. 1513.   >and they're leaning on each other to walk in a mostly straight line
  1511. 1514.   >not a single piece of clothing is on right
  1512. 1515.   >but your pancakes can call back the dead
  1513. 1516.   >...OK, maybe someponies need coffee too
  1514. 1517.   >you'll get on that
  1515. 1518.   >you are Anon
  1516. 1519.   >and two unicorns are prancing around your bathroom singing something saccharine while water flies in all directions
  1517. 1520.   >that is, before they sat down in a half-full tub to soak for a few minutes
  1518. 1521.   >marecum is apparently good for gluing cloth to fur. Yours too.
  1519. 1522.   >then Minuette splashed Moondancer
  1520. 1523.   >the bathroom floor is soaked
  1521. 1524.   >wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg
  1522. 1525.   >and apparently that was time for spontaneous song number
  1523. 1526.   >when you stuck your head in to protest the musical ear-worming, they ended up lobbing their panties at you
  1524. 1527.   >which are now slowly sliding down the bathroom door
  1525. 1528.   >you'll go in there when it's sane, silent, and unicorn-free
  1526. 1529.   >until then, you'll just hum along to the perculator's percussion
  1527. 1530.   >you are Moondancer
  1528. 1531.   >and you're having fun with Minuette
  1529. 1532.   >who is adorable
  1530. 1533.   >and a long-time friend
  1531. 1534.   >and a satisfied customer
  1532. 1535.    
  1533. 1536.   ---
  1534. 1537.    
  1535. 1538.   >you are Minuette
  1536. 1539.   >and you've having fun with Moondancer
  1537. 1540.   >who you're considering jumping on in the shower
  1538. 1541.   >because dat wet mane
  1539. 1542.   >hnnnngh
  1540. 1543.   >if she wasn't about as graceful as a minotaur in a tea house and as fashionable as lint, you'd get her a job at the club
  1541. 1544.   >then again, if she wasn't that adorkable, you never would have fallen for her in the first place
  1542. 1545.   >and you'll never be satisfied
  1543. 1546.   >until she's your little spoon every night
  1544. 1547.    
  1545. 1548.   ---
  1546. 1549.    
  1547. 1550.   >you are Moondancer
  1548. 1551.   >and you've just discovered bathtubs full of water are slippery
  1549. 1552.   >your wet mane has a mind of it's own
  1550. 1553.   >and you don't really see so good without your glasses
  1551. 1554.   >"Whoops!"
  1552. 1555.    
  1553. 1556.   ---
  1554. 1557.    
  1555. 1558.   >you are Minuette
  1556. 1559.   >and there's an old saying:
  1557. 1560.   >"Be careful what you wish for, Discord might give you just what you've always wanted"
  1558. 1561.   >Moondancer slips
  1559. 1562.   >she flails, clocking you upside the head
  1560. 1563.   >you fall back against the extra-large tub and slide down with a *sploosh*
  1561. 1564.   >she falls...into your lap
  1562. 1565.   >well, a little lower than your lap
  1563. 1566.    
  1564. 1567.   ---
  1565. 1568.    
  1566. 1569.   >you are Anon
  1567. 1570.   >the bathroom brawl rises to a cresendo
  1568. 1571.   >then...silence
  1569. 1572.   >manfully clad in your "Kiss the cook" apron, you come in to announce breakfast
  1570. 1573.   >Minuette has her hooves over the edge of the tub
  1571. 1574.   >and she's blushing
  1572. 1575.   >this is probably because Moondancer is ass up, face down in her lap
  1573. 1576.   >OK, a little lower than that
  1574. 1577.   >"I'll just cover the pancakes till you're done..."
  1575. 1578.    
  1576. 1579.   ---
  1577. 1580.    
  1578. 1581.   >you are Moondancer
  1579. 1582.   >you are currently admiring the pretty cutie marks orbiting in your vision, set against a blue fuzzy sky
  1580. 1583.   >it's a good thing you landed on something soft
  1581. 1584.   >and a little bumpy
  1582. 1585.   >funny, it's getting bumpier
  1583. 1586.   >and then you realize you just went ass-over-teats
  1584. 1587.   >and landed snoot-first in Minuette's
  1585. 1588.    
  1586. 1589.   >you are Minuette
  1587. 1590.   >your showertime seduction is definitely not as planned
  1588. 1591.   >you lift Moondancer out of your crotch as slowly as you can get away with, though
  1589. 1592.   >stop fantasizing about hot mare-on-mare times, Minuette
  1590. 1593.   >think about Granny Waltz
  1591. 1594.   >think about her dentures
  1592. 1595.   >...mostly better
  1593. 1596.   >now where's the towels?
  1594. 1597.    
  1595. 1598.   ---
  1596. 1599.    
  1597. 1600.   >you are Moondancer
  1598. 1601.   >and you're still a little wet and woozy
  1599. 1602.   >so you shake it off
  1600. 1603.    
  1601. 1604.   ---
  1602. 1605.    
  1603. 1606.   >you are Minuette
  1604. 1607.   >and you're just gotten another free shower
  1605. 1608.   >sitting there watching Moondancer gyrate
  1606. 1609.   >her eyes closed as strands of mane shed streams of water in all directions
  1607. 1610.   >yes, shake those flanks Moonie...
  1608. 1611.    
  1609. 1612.   ---
  1610. 1613.    
  1611. 1614.   >you are Moondancer
  1612. 1615.   >and Minuette is panting
  1613. 1616.   >Anon DID cool her off last night, right?
  1614. 1617.   >Poor thing, leftover heat is horrible
  1615. 1618.   >so you give her a big ol' wet hug
  1616. 1619.    
  1617. 1620.   ---
  1618. 1621.    
  1619. 1622.   >you are Anon
  1620. 1623.   >the water just came back on
  1621. 1624.   >from the shrieking, the hot water must have run out again or something
  1622. 1625.   >nothin' like a cloud-fed cold shower, right?
  1623. 1626.   >oh, hey. There's some waffles in the pantry!
  1624. 1627.   >you'll just make some of those too
  1625. 1628.    
  1626. 1629.   >you are Anon
  1627. 1630.   >and FINALLY you have two unicorns for breakfast
  1628. 1631.   >no, ponies are not for meal
  1629. 1632.   >but they used every towel in the bathroom and they're still damp
  1630. 1633.   >luckily, both of them are also night-shift types
  1631. 1634.   >and you didn't eat all the waffles
  1632. 1635.   >it's a remarkably quiet breakfast
  1633. 1636.   >Minuette is muted
  1634. 1637.   >Moondancer is nursing a slight jawache from the tub-games
  1635. 1638.   >it takes most of three cups of coffee to reanimate the ponies
  1636. 1639.   >even then, there's a lot of mmm-hmming and such on Minuette's end
  1637. 1640.   >still, you get a big hug from Minuette at the end of breakfast
  1638. 1641.   >she looks like she needed someone to hold onto
  1639. 1642.   >and Moondancer's very good about helping clean up breakfast
  1640. 1643.   >though Minuette hugs her too, it's a lot more awkward than yesterday
  1641. 1644.   >...you know, you'd have thought after a threesome it'd be the other way round
  1642. 1645.   >and off Minuette goes, much more sedately than the magical creature from last night
  1643. 1646.   >you scare up some aspirin for Moonie, though
  1644. 1647.   >and a stack of already-Anon-read books
  1645. 1648.   >the afternoon is for quiet time
  1646. 1649.   >pony, sofa, Anon, familiar pages, companionship
  1647. 1650.   >and more clothing than that apron
  1648. 1651.   >about six chapters into "Pride and Preakness", the aspirin kicks in enough...
  1649. 1652.    
  1650. 1653.   >you are Moondancer
  1651. 1654.   >and poor Minuettte had another one of her weird-outs again, it seems
  1652. 1655.   >they always happen around the end of a heat
  1653. 1656.   >she'll act like she REALLY wants snuggle-hugs and such while it's going on
  1654. 1657.   >but after the heat clears, it's always like she's embarrassed to be getting some mare-togetherness with friends
  1655. 1658.   >which you share with Anon
  1656. 1659.   >what's a "closet lesbian"?
  1657. 1660.    
  1658. 1661.   ---
  1659. 1662.    
  1660. 1663.   >you are Anon
  1661. 1664.   >and you sense you've been the beard
  1662. 1665.   >not that Minuette didn't obviously enjoy the relief, but....
  1663. 1666.   >...she might have been going for the mare, not the man
  1664. 1667.   >you're not exactly sure how to give advice on mare-mare relationships, though
  1665. 1668.   >time to dodge like the man you are
  1666. 1669.   >"So, Moondancer...what's "I smell herdy" mean?"
  1667. 1670.   >that got a blush out of Moondancer
  1668. 1671.    
  1669. 1672.   >you are Anon
  1670. 1673.   >and Anon is asking about...mare stuff
  1671. 1674.   >stallions
  1672. 1675.   >"She means you smell....er...."
  1673. 1676.   >You are so not coming out and saying what it REALLY means.
  1674. 1677.   >"...like a family pony. Yeah! Like you'd be good for..."
  1675. 1678.   >...oh goodness you just said Minuette thought Anon was marriage material
  1676. 1679.   >it's considerably more lewd than getting hitched to the same wagon
  1677. 1680.   >IT MEANS SHE THINKS HE'S GOOD FOR SATISFYING A LOT OF MARES IN A ROW
  1678. 1681.   >and then you remember what he did last night with his fingers
  1679. 1682.   >and you blush and bury your face in the sofa
  1680. 1683.   >except Anon happens to be on that cushion
  1681. 1684.    
  1682. 1685.   ---
  1683. 1686.    
  1684. 1687.   >you are Anon
  1685. 1688.   >there is a blushing bookhorse with her head in your crotch for totally non-sexual reasons and a horn poking your belly button
  1686. 1689.   >awkward
  1687. 1690.   >she comes up for air
  1688. 1691.   >her face compliments her mane right now
  1689. 1692.   >faces are not supposed to be red and purple
  1690. 1693.    
  1691. 1694.   ---
  1692. 1695.    
  1693. 1696.   >you are Moondancer
  1694. 1697.   >you have achieved a new level in spaghetti saddlebagging
  1695. 1698.   >this would be by telling Anon he's horsemarriage material
  1696. 1699.   >and one of your best friends just took him on a test ride
  1697. 1700.   >you're just neglecting optional things while processing this
  1698. 1701.   >like breathing
  1699. 1702.    
  1700. 1703.   ---
  1701. 1704.    
  1702. 1705.   >you are Anon
  1703. 1706.   >you are also confused
  1704. 1707.   >Minuette has the hots for Moondancer, who thinks she's got the hots for YOU?
  1705. 1708.   >Moondancer allows you a thoughtful period when panic, embarassment and holding your breath combine to make your lap a fainting couch
  1706. 1709.   >fortunately, this also means she stops holding her breath
  1707. 1710.   >you wonder if there's a pony version of Xanax for mares like this, or if dramatic fainting fits are normal
  1708. 1711.   >you find the reset button and reinitialize pone.exe
  1709. 1712.   >again
  1710. 1713.    
  1711. 1714.   ---
  1712. 1715.    
  1713. 1716.   >you are Moondancer
  1714. 1717.   >what were you thinking about before-
  1715. 1718.   >Anon skritches the ears
  1716. 1719.   >...I'm sure it'll come to me later
  1717. 1720.   >...it can't have been important if he's doing thiiiiis~
  1718. 1721.    
  1719. 1722.   >you are Anon
  1720. 1723.   >Moondancer is being a good pony (like she ever isn't at least trying)
  1721. 1724.   >you have a decent book to peruse
  1722. 1725.   >a belly is available to rub between pages (but not too much, she'd drop her book)
  1723. 1726.   >just a nice lazy early afternoon until lun-
  1724. 1727.   *KNOCKknockknockknock*
  1725. 1728.   >-someone decides to make you get up
  1726. 1729.   >Moondancer gets to hog the couch
  1727. 1730.   >...you don't know this pony at the door
  1728. 1731.   >She's purple, blue curly-maned
  1729. 1732.   >scissor buttmark
  1730. 1733.   >but Moondancer sure does
  1731. 1734.   "MISS Moondancer, we have an issue!"
  1732. 1735.    
  1733. 1736.   ---
  1734. 1737.    
  1735. 1738.   >you are Moondancer
  1736. 1739.   >And did a ripe load of horseapples ever show up at Anon's door
  1737. 1740.   >"Anon, t-this is Abigail Abridge."
  1738. 1741.   >When it's time for new books to go in and old ones to be remanded to the back stacks, they're "Abridged".
  1739. 1742.   >a-and if somepony screws up too badly, the last pony they see before they're unemployed is Abigail too.
  1740. 1743.   "We have had an unfortunate....incident."
  1741. 1744.   "The shelf holding the 129s gave way and the contents struck Miss Fortune."
  1742. 1745.   >"It was only her second day on the job! Is she..."
  1743. 1746.   "Almost the death of a thousand paper cuts. The doctors are working there hardest, but so many...*sniffles* so many boo-boos..."
  1744. 1747.   >"I-Ill come in right awa-"
  1745. 1748.   "No, we'll need you tomorrow morning. Tonight's an emergency reshelving, and with us down one pony already, it'll be nip and tuck without some help getting everything back into order."
  1746. 1749.   >"I-I know someone who could help!"
  1747. 1750.   >and you point a hoof at Anon
  1748. 1751.    
  1749. 1752.   ---
  1750. 1753.    
  1751. 1754.   >You are Anon
  1752. 1755.   >and you're apparently being volunteered for shelving duty
  1753. 1756.   >actually, you figure you've got some advantages there
  1754. 1757.   "You say this...is a book-lover?"
  1755. 1758.   >you point at the stack you and Moondancer were going through
  1756. 1759.   "One-fifty-nine, Mister Anon."
  1757. 1760.   >your mind flashes back to college doing volunteer stuff for extra credit
  1758. 1761.   >"Psychology...Will it-"
  1759. 1762.   "Will it is, Mister Anon. A pleasant surprise, no wonder Miss Moondancer thinks fondly of you."
  1760. 1763.   >you don't even remember a section labeled "Will" in the library
  1761. 1764.   >then again, the 200's were a real surprise
  1762. 1765.    
  1763. 1766.   >you are Moondancer
  1764. 1767.   >and you very, very much want to keep an eye on Anon
  1765. 1768.   >Miss AA isn't the First Assistant for nothing
  1766. 1769.   >but if you do, she'll know
  1767. 1770.   >it's like Mom Radar for library peons
  1768. 1771.   >you'll just do something soothing
  1769. 1772.   >like rearranging Anon's entire kitchen so you don't wear a groove in the floor pacing
  1770. 1773.    
  1771. 1774.   ---
  1772. 1775.    
  1773. 1776.   >you are Anon
  1774. 1777.   >and you feel ten years younger
  1775. 1778.   >that's because the last time you did reshelving was ten years ago
  1776. 1779.   >still, Abigail's not even giving you so much as a "hmph" while you work
  1777. 1780.   >the end parts of the 120s collapsed and took the front end of the 130's with it
  1778. 1781.   >fortunately, Canterlot's library system prints the Dewey Morning numbers right on the spine in ink
  1779. 1782.   >and you're making sure each book has it's pages nice and flat and properly stacked with a pair of gloves on
  1780. 1783.   >how the heck a pony library has proper archival gloves, you'll never know
  1781. 1784.   >Dragon, size medium, heat resistant
  1782. 1785.   >you spend hours triaging the pile
  1783. 1786.   >shelvable, easily repairable, needs conserving
  1784. 1787.   >Abigail finds the worst damaged ones like a vulture, plucking them out with cloth-covered teeth with a delicacy you couldn't believe
  1785. 1788.   >then you handle the small things like glue daubs and humidifying pages while the regulars get the shelves mostly back in order
  1786. 1789.   >by the time you're done, it's nearly midnight and the night crew is starting to droop
  1787. 1790.   "Mister Anon! An excellent night's effort- I've been watching you, and it's clear we've missed a diamond in the rough."
  1788. 1791.   >Well, you had been thinking about minoring in library sciences, but the courseload in History had been a killer...
  1789. 1792.   "Please, come to my office."
  1790. 1793.   >you find yourself following her tail as it weaves through the back stacks to a door, a rather sparkly emblem of AA's cutie mark in stained glass hung on the front
  1791. 1794.   >it's definitely a working-mare's office
  1792. 1795.   >a shelf of old books barely holding on to life
  1793. 1796.   >a desk, mostly clear at the moment
  1794. 1797.   >except for a modest pile of bits in a bag and a magicstone lamp
  1795. 1798.    
  1796. 1799.   >you are Abigail Abridge
  1797. 1800.   >and you've got Anon in your office
  1798. 1801.   >late at night
  1799. 1802.   >alone
  1800. 1803.   >time to make a few offers
  1801. 1804.   >"Mister Anon, your pay for doing a solid job with the reshelving today. You have earned it."
  1802. 1805.   >honestly, you'd expected far less from a stallion living on his own and a reputation for clumsiness
  1803. 1806.   >"Miss Fortune will be out for the week at least until the band-aids come off, so I'm in need of a few things. First, someone willing to do what you've been doing in the back stacks- reshelving books, minor repairs, and suchlike."
  1804. 1807.   >Anon perks up at this
  1805. 1808.   >"In the evenings."
  1806. 1809.   >Moondancer is a young mare and certainly not to be distracted by stray stallions if she's to work in your library
  1807. 1810.   >"Also, I'd like you to help with one other thing before you leave for the night."
  1808. 1811.    
  1809. 1812.   ---
  1810. 1813.    
  1811. 1814.   >you are Anon
  1812. 1815.   >and you've just been offered a job
  1813. 1816.   >seriously
  1814. 1817.   >you actually enjoyed doing all this tonight anyway
  1815. 1818.   >peace, quiet, books, no crowds
  1816. 1819.   >Abigail nuzzling your crotch
  1817. 1820.   >WAT.
  1818. 1821.   "Me."
  1819. 1822.    
  1820. 1823.   ---
  1821. 1824.   >you are Abigail
  1822. 1825.   >and clearly, Anon is no brute to books
  1823. 1826.   >you require this in your stallions
  1824. 1827.   >educated and with finesse
  1825. 1828.   >and it's obvious to a well-read mare why Moondancer's heat wore off that fast when half your patrons smell more like a locker room than mare this month
  1826. 1829.   >"To whit, you. My desk. Now. I assure you, I treat a stallion as well as I treat anything else in this library, including making it worth your troubles."
  1827. 1830.    
  1828. 1831.   ---
  1829. 1832.   >you are Anon
  1830. 1833.   >and this mare just casually wants you to mount her on her desk like something out of a porn story
  1831. 1834.   >after offering you a job
  1832. 1835.   >"You've known me for one day and you want me to-"
  1833. 1836.   "Cover me, yes. You're Moondancer's cooler, aren't you?"
  1834. 1837.   >"Actually, I'm a professional-"
  1835. 1838.   "You're what?"
  1836. 1839.    
  1837. 1840.   ---
  1838. 1841.   >you are Abigail
  1839. 1842.   >and your assistant-assistant has a side job?
  1840. 1843.   >as a frontmare?
  1841. 1844.   >for a "hooman"?
  1842. 1845.   >"So, you're a professional and Moondancer hasn't told me she's working on the side?"
  1843. 1846.   >"Show me how professional you are and not only do you get the job, she gets to keep hers."
  1844. 1847.    
  1845. 1848.   >you are Anon
  1846. 1849.   >and Abridge is casually lifting her tail at you when she says "professional"
  1847. 1850.   >walk out and Moondancer gets in trouble
  1848. 1851.   >or give this nag the D
  1849. 1852.   >plus, she just called you an amateur horsefucker
  1850. 1853.   >you're the best horsefucker in Canterlot, dammit
  1851. 1854.   >and Miss AA is going to need Anon-Anonymous meetings to get over her addiction to what she's gonna get for that crack
  1852. 1855.   >you pick up the mare in a single swoop
  1853. 1856.   >she barely has time to gasp before you've got her front legs on one side of the desk and her back side on the other
  1854. 1857.   >one hand holds the tail up
  1855. 1858.   >the other one spanks that naughty mare's ass like a bad filly
  1856. 1859.   >"You don't threaten my friend." *SMACK!*
  1857. 1860.   >"You don't put your nose in my crotch without asking first." *SMACK!*
  1858. 1861.   >"You don't look down on Moondancer for taking care of me." *SMACK*
  1859. 1862.   >"And I am a *SMACK* professional *SMACK* library worker! *SMACK*"
  1860. 1863.   >she's squealing as you spank her ass into what has to be a warm, stinging pair of flanks
  1861. 1864.   >but she isn't trying to kick you or anything
  1862. 1865.   >you'd have expected that, but...
  1863. 1866.    
  1864. 1867.   ---
  1865. 1868.    
  1866. 1869.   >you are Abigail
  1867. 1870.   >and to your utter shock, you've just ended up marehandled onto your own desk
  1868. 1871.   >Anon is spanking your plot with gusto
  1869. 1872.   >between calling you a bad pony, your ass is tingling
  1870. 1873.   >h-how did he know you get off on being called a bad pony and being spanked like a naughty filly?
  1871. 1874.   >he IS a professional
  1872. 1875.   >you've made a terrible mistake
  1873. 1876.   >"I-!-OH! Anon! OWIE! Y-you're right! I-yi-yi-yi-I'm sorrrrrry! I'm a bad filly! P-please! I won't fire Moondancer! You're hi-yi-yi-yi-red! P-p-pleeeeease don't stop till I'm done!"
  1874. 1877.    
  1875. 1878.   ---
  1876. 1879.    
  1877. 1880.   >you are Anon, and you've beaten Abigail's ass into submission for threatening Moondancer
  1878. 1881.   "-don't stop!"
  1879. 1882.   >holy shit, she's getting off on this
  1880. 1883.   >your spanking slackens as your next smack changes to resting your hand on one wiggling flank
  1881. 1884.   "P-please! You're so good...don't leave me like this!"
  1882. 1885.   >there's wet streaks running down her hindlegs
  1883. 1886.   >and she's crying
  1884. 1887.   "I hah-haven't gotten a good spanking for years..."
  1885. 1888.    
  1886. 1889.   >you are Abigail
  1887. 1890.   >and your backside is burning like it'd been cropped
  1888. 1891.   >"I-I'll pay your full fee for a night if you don't stop. More. I-I'm sorry for saying you weren't a professional. I-I've never been so wrong in my life."
  1889. 1892.    
  1890. 1893.   ---
  1891. 1894.    
  1892. 1895.   >you are Anon
  1893. 1896.   >and you've just discovered ponies are kinkier than you ever imagined
  1894. 1897.   >...
  1895. 1898.   >OK. Apology accepted.
  1896. 1899.   >*WHAP!*
  1897. 1900.   >right above one hock
  1898. 1901.   >you systematically tenderize that mare's ass like a good steak
  1899. 1902.   >including a few slightly gentler swats right under her tail
  1900. 1903.   >she ends up biting down on the desk after the second one zaps her across the ponut, clenching her cheeks and leaving a trail of drops over the carpet
  1901. 1904.   >you don't have to hold her tail up, it just won't come down
  1902. 1905.   >you mix in the occasional touches with the spanking, fondling the red, swollen puffy parts as she squirts little gouts of arousal onto the tile floor
  1903. 1906.   >one last slap across her marehood and the squirts turn into a stream...
  1904. 1907.    
  1905. 1908.   ---
  1906. 1909.    
  1907. 1910.   >you are Abigail
  1908. 1911.   >you're grunting into the desk
  1909. 1912.   >which you're amazed you haven't bit through
  1910. 1913.   >and the fire in your behind has turned into a glowing crescendo of pleasure
  1911. 1914.   >and you push down and let the release find it's way all over the floor
  1912. 1915.   >little stringy drips funneling down your legs to dangle off your hooves
  1913. 1916.   >you haven't come that hard since...well, ever
  1914. 1917.   >the fit passes, and you flop over the desk, panting and sweating like you'd galloped a mile
  1915. 1918.   >Anon didn't even break a sweat
  1916. 1919.   >and he uses your tail for a hand towel
  1917. 1920.   >"T-third drawer. T-ake the whole bag, a-and let D-day Planner know when you're available for the d-day shift. T-tell Moondancer you did both your jobs v..."
  1918. 1921.   >he's massaging your flanks
  1919. 1922.   >f-fingers must be hooman magic
  1920. 1923.   "...verrrah well."
  1921. 1924.   >you melt into a senseless stupor
  1922. 1925.    
  1923. 1926.   ---
  1924. 1927.    
  1925. 1928.   >you are Anon
  1926. 1929.   >and your new boss is straddling her desk, soaked in her own cum from the tail down
  1927. 1930.   >not to mention the floor
  1928. 1931.   >you leave her to it, it's been a long night
  1929. 1932.   >but you at least lock the door behind you
  1930. 1933.   >professional courtesy and all
  1931. 1934.    
  1932. 1935.   >you are Moondancer
  1933. 1936.   >and you fell asleep on your feet again
  1934. 1937.   >counting the prime numbers from 104,729 down
  1935. 1938.   >it's a sensible way to keep calm
  1936. 1939.   >the morning however dawns somewhat gloomily thanks to a nice layer of clouds
  1937. 1940.   >it's enough to keep you snoozing
  1938. 1941.   >at least until something tickles your ears
  1939. 1942.   >it's Anon
  1940. 1943.   >in bed
  1941. 1944.   >snoring a bit
  1942. 1945.   >but apparently unscathed
  1943. 1946.   >he's been up all night, but he tucked you in before passing out
  1944. 1947.   >such a gentlecolt
  1945. 1948.   >you slide out of bed, get your hair up, gobble down a bowl of cereal (Cheery O's are best cereal, which Anon has clearly discovered) and carefully close the door on the way out
  1946. 1949.   >an easy trot down to work
  1947. 1950.   >the shelves look a bit off with the new wood, but everything's in place
  1948. 1951.   >Abigail apparently took the day off sick
  1949. 1952.   >when you walk by her office it smells like a hot barn
  1950. 1953.   >poor mare must have caught something
  1951. 1954.   >the morning gets spent productively, lunch is a quick feedbag from the grazery next door that leaves you a nice half-hour for doing what you like to
  1952. 1955.   >that is, getting your snootful of paper and ink in the archival sections
  1953. 1956.   >you're about three scrolls into the first envoy to the Ram Sages when you hear Anon
  1954. 1957.   >he's talking to...Day Planner?
  1955. 1958.   >about scheduling?
  1956. 1959.   >...he got a job?
  1957. 1960.   >At the library?
  1958. 1961.   >...I work at the library.
  1959. 1962.   >With Anon!
  1960. 1963.   >*CLAP*
  1961. 1964.   "SSSSSHHHHH!"
  1962. 1965.   >...patrons hate it when you bang your hooves together with glee
  1963. 1966.   >dome of silence time
  1964. 1967.   >*flash*
  1965. 1968.   >,,,a celebratory cookie is in order
  1966. 1969.   >...after you put the scrolls back
  1967. 1970.   >you prepare to nom the cookie with quiet delight whilst using a random book as cover
  1968. 1971.   >you get through about a paragraph before you drop the book and do a victory dance
  1969. 1972.   >possibly mistaken by some for a seizure
  1970. 1973.   >a victorious seizure
  1971. 1974.   >but quietly
  1972. 1975.    
  1973. 1976.   >you are Anon
  1974. 1977.   >and ponies are staring
  1975. 1978.   >actually, Day Planner seems more than a little surprised but has you in for Miss Fortune's lost hours right now
  1976. 1979.   >five hours a day
  1977. 1980.   >twelve bits an hour
  1978. 1981.   >five days a week
  1979. 1982.   >and it's all take-home pay
  1980. 1983.   >Moondancer normally works till five
  1981. 1984.   >you're actually in an hour later and leave an hour sooner
  1982. 1985.   >speaking of which, she should be around here somewhere-
  1983. 1986.   >Holy shit
  1984. 1987.   >she's trapped in a magical dome with some scrolls
  1985. 1988.   >spasming wildly
  1986. 1989.   >her mouth moves, but not a sound is coming out
  1987. 1990.   >and the patrons are staring at her in horror
  1988. 1991.   >you half expect to hear someone going "Klaatu Barata Nikto!" and pone-skellies to leap out of the violated earth as she convulses, a weird,ecstatic grin on her face
  1989. 1992.   >all without a sound
  1990. 1993.   >you wanted to talk to Moondancer?
  1991. 1994.   >THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
  1992. 1995.   >you charge like the predator you are and leap at the dome, fists swinging
  1993. 1996.   >and it pops like a soap bubble
  1994. 1997.   >noise rushes into the space
  1995. 1998.   >she's laughing
  1996. 1999.   >you're heading for the inevitable collision
  1997. 2000.   >and then she finally realizes there's an incoming Anonymissle...
  1998. 2001.    
  1999. 2002.   ---
  2000. 2003.    
  2001. 2004.   >you are a gleeful Moondancer in your mosh pit of Absolute Quiet
  2002. 2005.   >eyes closed
  2003. 2006.   >gettin' your groove on, oh yeah
  2004. 2007.   >*POP!*
  2005. 2008.   >your eyes open just in time to see Anon coming down like a ton of bricks
  2006. 2009.   >three feet, two feet...
  2007. 2010.    
  2008. 2011.   ---
  2009. 2012.    
  2010. 2013.   >you are Anon
  2011. 2014.   >and believe it or not, you're walkin' on air
  2012. 2015.   >OK, flopping like a beached fish in mid-air
  2013. 2016.   >Moondancer is looking at you like an idiot
  2014. 2017.   >that's OK, you -feel- like an idiot
  2015. 2018.   >in fact, you've picked up the idiot ball and ran it in for a touchderp by the looks on everyone's faces
  2016. 2019.   >"Um....hug?"
  2017. 2020.   >strangely, this works
  2018. 2021.   "What does he think he is, a pegasus?"
  2019. 2022.   >that's the worst comment other than a few mutters
  2020. 2023.   >you're still flopping
  2021. 2024.   >Moondancer comes up close
  2022. 2025.   >there is a chocolate chip cookie orbiting her horn
  2023. 2026.   "Sooooo.....victory cookie?"
  2024. 2027.   >you nod
  2025. 2028.   >victory is awkward and sweet
  2026. 2029.    
  2027. 2030.   ---
  2028. 2031.    
  2029. 2032.   >you are Moondancer
  2030. 2033.   >Anon does not get the victory dance
  2031. 2034.   >but you'll at least give him a cookie
  2032. 2035.    
  2033. 2036.   >you are Anon
  2034. 2037.   >and you are walking Moondancer back home from work
  2035. 2038.   >you just told her that you "helped Abigail when she was feeling bad" and passed her a share of the bits
  2036. 2039.   "Awww, no wonder you got the job!"
  2037. 2040.   >you make a point of buying a "get well soon" card
  2038. 2041.   >and remind yourself to draw a butt on it later
  2039. 2042.   >Moonie gives you a hug when you get her to the door
  2040. 2043.   >and sneaks in a nuzzle when you're standing back up
  2041. 2044.   "Figures. The only unicorn that would nuzzle something that weird is a weirdo."
  2042. 2045.   >and freezes like someone just dropped her in liquid nitrogen
  2043. 2046.   "The goofus and the giant, a perfect fit."
  2044. 2047.   >oh, you know THAT voice.
  2045. 2048.   >standing there on the street are two perfect examples of Canterlot society
  2046. 2049.   >unicorns
  2047. 2050.   >pompous
  2048. 2051.   >Canterloticus Assholious
  2049. 2052.   >the asshole you know is Star Struck, whose talents seem to include following famous ponies around and being a dick to anyone else
  2050. 2053.   >the golden-furred swine with a pearl on her flank next to him?
  2051. 2054.   "Oh, Golden Pearl doesn't even BELIEVE they let her live here, never mind give her a license for exotic pets."
  2052. 2055.   >There we go. Yellow and red make orange you going to fucking leave now?
  2053. 2056.   >Moonie is twitching in place now.
  2054. 2057.   >Sparking, even.
  2055. 2058.   "Oh, look at her. Lighting up like she was still in diapers."
  2056. 2059.   >They laugh. It's the laughter of every popular thing on two legs you wanted to run through a wood chipper in college.
  2057. 2060.   >it's poison
  2058. 2061.   >and it's bit on Moondancer, hard
  2059. 2062.   >no more outside time
  2060. 2063.   >you pick up your mare and stalk into the house, leaving a trail of grayish motes behind
  2061. 2064.   "Ta-ta! Don't climb any skyscrapers in Manehatten, monkey-boy!"
  2062. 2065.   >*SLAM*
  2063. 2066.   >Moondancer's house is...dingy.
  2064. 2067.   >a bit pungent
  2065. 2068.   >possibly a good shroom factory from the mildew stains on the ceiling
  2066. 2069.   >and full of old, long-condemned books from the library that she's adopted, like some kind of cat lady of books
  2067. 2070.   >plus a shivering pony with her eyes screwed shut and tears dripping behind the glasses
  2068. 2071.   >you just hug her neck- a wordless wail screeches out, like a squeezy toy from Helll
  2069. 2072.    
  2070. 2073.   >you are Moondancer
  2071. 2074.   >you're a nice pony
  2072. 2075.   >sure, you live alone
  2073. 2076.   >and your sister got the nice apartment in Manehattan when your parents died
  2074. 2077.   >and the trust fund doesn't quite pay for all the things needed to fix up the place
  2075. 2078.   >and yeah, it's kinda smelly
  2076. 2079.   >but they don't have to rub your nose in it
  2077. 2080.   >every. single. time.
  2078. 2081.   >heck, you can't afford to be a mare-of-the-party like your rotten neighbors in their stupid fancy houses
  2079. 2082.   >and with ponies like that, you wouldn't WANT to
  2080. 2083.   >m-maybe you should swallow your pride and move into that tower
  2081. 2084.   >just another hoof-out from friends and family
  2082. 2085.   >it'd been such a good week...why'd it have to stop?
  2083. 2086.    
  2084. 2087.   ---
  2085. 2088.    
  2086. 2089.   >you are Anon
  2087. 2090.   >and Moondancer is sobbing a river down your back in literal anime-style eye fountains
  2088. 2091.   >how the hell do ponies produce all this frickin liquid, are they made out of sponges and marshmallow?
  2089. 2092.   >you push up the glasses and get them out of the Crymea River
  2090. 2093.   >she's even managed to turn her eyebrows into a waterlogged mess
  2091. 2094.   >you run your fingers along them, squeegeeing out the excess tears
  2092. 2095.   >something about having your hands on her face turns down the water pressure
  2093. 2096.   >so you keep doing it
  2094. 2097.   >the faucet slows down to a trickle as you run your thumbs along her cheekbones
  2095. 2098.    
  2096. 2099.   ---
  2097. 2100.    
  2098. 2101.   >you are Moondancer
  2099. 2102.   >and you're ashamed of yourself
  2100. 2103.   >but Anon's blurry hands are rubbing your face
  2101. 2104.   >and it still hurts, but it's the emptied-out ache
  2102. 2105.   >and a literal headache
  2103. 2106.   >but the petting does make you feel better
  2104. 2107.   >*hiccup*
  2105. 2108.   >"S-Star Chaser and Golden Pearl hate me cause my house is a dump, and it's right between their big fancy places...a-and I'm not fancy! I don't walk around in gilded horseshoes or fancy dresses or have lots of bits and-"
  2106. 2109.   >you may have started yelling towards the end of that, but Anon just shut you up
  2107. 2110.   >with his mouth
  2108. 2111.   >it's worth every bit in Canterlot and then some
  2109. 2112.   >and you mash your muzzle into it for all it's worth
  2110. 2113.    
  2111. 2114.   >you are Anon
  2112. 2115.   >and you are rolling around on a dirty carpet making out with a unicorn
  2113. 2116.   >who knows what the sopping wet back of your shirt is picking up right now
  2114. 2117.   >the waterworks are still on low pressure
  2115. 2118.   >but they're definitely not bitter
  2116. 2119.   >just very, very needy
  2117. 2120.   >that's OK, even if you end up banging teeth once or twice
  2118. 2121.   >you'd take honest clumsy kissing over the fine art of bullshit smooching any day
  2119. 2122.   >"I could always put them over my knee, Moonie."
  2120. 2123.   "W-what?"
  2121. 2124.   >"Abigail's at home with a burning booty, that's why she called out."
  2122. 2125.   "Y-you..."
  2123. 2126.   >"Spanked her naughty ass for saying something so rude about us that she needed to make an apology."
  2124. 2127.   "But..."
  2125. 2128.   >"Yep, right on the butt. Turned out she was sorry AND she liked it AND hired me to do some real work, too. I'm happy to see you, but that's actually thirty of your bits in my pocket."
  2126. 2129.   "You...you..."
  2127. 2130.    
  2128. 2131.   ---
  2129. 2132.    
  2130. 2133.   >you are Moondancer
  2131. 2134.   >you are visualizing scary ol' Abigail kicking and screaming like a baby as Anon whaps her plot with a newspaper and a fatherly demeanor
  2132. 2135.   >then Golden Pearl
  2133. 2136.   >maybe Star Struck
  2134. 2137.   >come to think of it, you'd probably enjoy chasing him off with a newspaper next time...
  2135. 2138.   >"A-heh...ha...HA!"
  2136. 2139.   >the laughter that follows is slightly hysterical but cathartic
  2137. 2140.    
  2138. 2141.   ---
  2139. 2142.    
  2140. 2143.   >you are Golden Pearl
  2141. 2144.   >the weirdo and her pet are sobbing, then howling with laughter
  2142. 2145.   >it's leaking out the windows and soiling your ears
  2143. 2146.   >why that pigsty is allowed to stay there by Royal decree, you have no bucking idea
  2144. 2147.   >some centuries-old land laws
  2145. 2148.   >you can't buck tradition, I suppose
  2146. 2149.   >it was probably some house where Celestia dropped her hanky during the Discordian era
  2147. 2150.   >maybe if it collapsed from shoddy upkeep, you'd finally be able to add that walk-in mansion closet after you bought the lot
  2148. 2151.   >from the looks of things, you won't give it another season anyway
  2149. 2152.   >or perhaps...
  2150. 2153.   >"Dear Canterlot Health and Equine Services, I'm embarrassed to write you about a health hazard that's developed next to my home..."
  2151. 2154.   >...you can hurry things along.
  2152. 2155.    
  2153. 2156.   >you are Anon
  2154. 2157.   >and your back is stuck to the floor
  2155. 2158.   >as in "you had to wiggle out of your shirt to escape" stuck
  2156. 2159.   >and there's a disturbing black stain where your cotton shirt + unicorn tears made contact with the floor
  2157. 2160.   >you're not sure if it was the impromptu strip show, all the wiggling you just did, or the fact that the floor is apparently trying to eat your shirt that made her blush
  2158. 2161.    
  2159. 2162.   ---
  2160. 2163.    
  2161. 2164.   >you are Moondancer
  2162. 2165.   >and Anon suddenly just slithered out of his shirt and levered himself off the floor
  2163. 2166.   >while holding you one-armed to his chest
  2164. 2167.   >humans are....flexible
  2165. 2168.   >rrrrowr.
  2166. 2169.   >then you realize it's because your floor is -eating- his shirt
  2167. 2170.   >...you meant to clean that
  2168. 2171.   >..."also, unicorn tears are used in growing some kinds of exotic plants and fungi"
  2169. 2172.   >thank you, Green Grass
  2170. 2173.   >if by "exotic" you mean mildew
  2171. 2174.   >and by "grow" you mean "turn Anon's shirt into a yucky black stain on the floor".
  2172. 2175.   >awk-ward
  2173. 2176.    
  2174. 2177.   ---
  2175. 2178.    
  2176. 2179.   >you are Anon
  2177. 2180.   >topless
  2178. 2181.   >although Moondancer is keeping that part warm nicely
  2179. 2182.   >and that black patch on the floor looks like it's hungry
  2180. 2183.   >you sidestep around it lest some animesque tentacle thing springs forth and does horrible things to your orifices
  2181. 2184.   >out the door
  2182. 2185.   >close the door
  2183. 2186.   >kick a rock in front of the door
  2184. 2187.   >just in case
  2185. 2188.   >from a balcony next door, Golden Pearl is giving you a look and a nasty smirk
  2186. 2189.   >you show your appreciation in the one finger salute of your people and head for home with Moondancer still under one arm
  2187. 2190.    
  2188. 2191.   ---
  2189. 2192.    
  2190. 2193.   >you are Golden Pearl
  2191. 2194.   >for a beast, he isn't bad looking once you stop trying to dress him like a real pony
  2192. 2195.   >maybe you'll buy him once Moondancer's gone
  2193. 2196.   >he'd make a nice closet decoration
  2194. 2197.    
  2195. 2198.   ---
  2196. 2199.    
  2197. 2200.   >you are Anon
  2198. 2201.   "Where are we going?"
  2199. 2202.   >Oh, right. Unicorn under arm.
  2200. 2203.   >you put the slightly confused looking Moondancer down
  2201. 2204.   >"We're going to my apartment, we're coming back with bleach and possibly something flammable. Just in case."
  2202. 2205.   "Hey!"
  2203. 2206.   >"I'm just saying that in case Mildewzilla rises."
  2204. 2207.   >into the apartment you go
  2205. 2208.    
  2206. 2209.   >you are Anon
  2207. 2210.   >a scion of the goddess Hygieia
  2208. 2211.   >mop-spear in one hand, bucket holding bottles of bleach and soap in the other
  2209. 2212.   >you walk to war with your unicorn companion
  2210. 2213.   >she is armored for battle in your spare apron and menacing grime with a stout pushbroom
  2211. 2214.   >it's pink checkered
  2212. 2215.   >don't judge me, it was 75% off at Barnyard Bargains
  2213. 2216.   >you move the stone sealing Moondancer's front door
  2214. 2217.   >the stain thankfully hasn't grown eyes or tentacles or achieved self-awareness
  2215. 2218.   >it has, however doubled in size and has eaten a noticeable groove from the flooring
  2216. 2219.   >"In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
  2217. 2220.   >you liberally soak the entire patch (and the surrounding floor for good measure with the spray bottle of bleach solution
  2218. 2221.   >then step back as the fumes rise and waft through the window
  2219. 2222.   >....why is Moondancer looking at you funny?
  2220. 2223.    
  2221. 2224.   ---
  2222. 2225.    
  2223. 2226.   >you are Moondancer
  2224. 2227.   >and Anon just sprayed sodium hypoclorite all over the mold patch
  2225. 2228.   >...nothing's really happening
  2226. 2229.   >"Um, Anon? Was that supposed to be a cleaning potion?"
  2227. 2230.    
  2228. 2231.   ---
  2229. 2232.    
  2230. 2233.   >you are Anon
  2231. 2234.   >potion what?
  2232. 2235.   >"No, we let it soak a bit to kill that gunk, then scrub it off and wash the floor again with soap and water."
  2233. 2236.    
  2234. 2237.   ---
  2235. 2238.    
  2236. 2239.   >you're still Moondancer
  2237. 2240.   >and that sounds horribly inefficient
  2238. 2241.   >and slow
  2239. 2242.   >and seriously, Anon just overkilled on the reagent here
  2240. 2243.   >waste not, want not, that stuff isn't cheap
  2241. 2244.   >so you cast Eusol's Universal Solution
  2242. 2245.   >the circle of black turns white under your spell
  2243. 2246.   >green, noxious gases scourging the wood as the bleach boils under a dome of monochrome magic
  2244. 2247.   >you take a sprinkle of salt from the cupboard and toss it in
  2245. 2248.   >the fumes settle to the ground harmlessly into a cloud of white crystals and cover the pitted surface
  2246. 2249.    
  2247. 2250.   ---
  2248. 2251.    
  2249. 2252.   >you are Anon
  2250. 2253.   >Moondancer just pulled the nuclear option of floor scrubbing
  2251. 2254.   >of course, the floor is also a half-inch lower there
  2252. 2255.   >horn wizards, no sense of right or wrong
  2253. 2256.    
  2254. 2257.   ---
  2255. 2258.    
  2256. 2259.   >still Moondancer
  2257. 2260.   >covered in sweat
  2258. 2261.   >alchemy is fun, if pricy
  2259. 2262.    
  2260. 2263.   >you are Anon
  2261. 2264.   >Moondancer just WMD'd a patch of her floor
  2262. 2265.   >it's covered in white
  2263. 2266.   >and under the white, the wood is bleached white
  2264. 2267.   >and she's half dead on her feet and stinking of sweat
  2265. 2268.   >all for a patch of floor
  2266. 2269.   >you look at the room
  2267. 2270.   >then back at the pony
  2268. 2271.   >you find a mostly clean tap and fill your bucket...
  2269. 2272.    
  2270. 2273.   ---
  2271. 2274.    
  2272. 2275.   >you are Moondancer
  2273. 2276.   >you're kinda zoned out at the moment
  2274. 2277.   >something something equivalent exchange blah blah blah
  2275. 2278.   >you blink
  2276. 2279.   >the scenery changes to your front yard
  2277. 2280.   *SPLOOSH*
  2278. 2281.   >and you're soaking wet, but it's a nice kinda wet
  2279. 2282.   >clears the head
  2280. 2283.   >your horn's aching
  2281. 2284.   >how much of that reagent WAS in that bottle?
  2282. 2285.   >over 5%?
  2283. 2286.   >you do some simple math
  2284. 2287.   >more than twice the suggested reagent
  2285. 2288.   >multiply by surface area
  2286. 2289.   >...you just burned a day and a half's worth of thaumens in about five minutes finishing that spell
  2287. 2290.   >*gurrrrrrrrrgle*
  2288. 2291.   >that would explain the hypoglycemia, hornache, and
  2289. 2292.   >*thump*
  2290. 2293.    
  2291. 2294.   ---
  2292. 2295.    
  2293. 2296.   >you are Anon
  2294. 2297.   >and the cold water didn't help much
  2295. 2298.   >if anything, she looks even more dazed than before
  2296. 2299.   "ssss~ugar pleass."
  2297. 2300.   >well, OK
  2298. 2301.   >you've got some hard candies in your pants pocket
  2299. 2302.   >one gets popped into Moondancer's mouth
  2300. 2303.   >faint sucking sounds are heard
  2301. 2304.    
  2302. 2305.   ---
  2303. 2306.    
  2304. 2307.   >you are Moondancer
  2305. 2308.   >and you're suffering a personal brownout at the moment
  2306. 2309.   >there is a butterscotch candy in your mouth
  2307. 2310.   >you hate the taste of butterscotches
  2308. 2311.   >it dissolves a bit and a trickle of sucrose finds it's way down your throat
  2309. 2312.   >you are rethinking your relationship with butterscotch in light of that
  2310. 2313.   >you even manage to grind your teeth a little against it, letting the sweet dissolve faster
  2311. 2314.   >"mour pess."
  2312. 2315.   >a second disgustingly wonderful candy is lodged into the other side of your mouth
  2313. 2316.   >you think you might be able to do two plus two if you worked at it, but licking and swallowing is the order of the day
  2314. 2317.    
  2315. 2318.   ---
  2316. 2319.    
  2317. 2320.   >you are Golden Pearl
  2318. 2321.   >the monkey is squatting on the grass next to the weirdo, who is clearly three sarsaparillas to the wind
  2319. 2322.   >it sticks a candy in her mouth, then another
  2320. 2323.   >Ick.
  2321. 2324.    
  2322. 2325.   >you are Anon
  2323. 2326.   >Moondancer is apparently stoned on magic or something
  2324. 2327.   >first big flashy bang-bang
  2325. 2328.   >then she's dopey and has the munchies
  2326. 2329.   >no wonder most unicorns stick to levitating things if spellcasting is weed
  2327. 2330.   "bufferscooch pls."
  2328. 2331.   >you slide another one between her drooly lips
  2329. 2332.    
  2330. 2333.   ---
  2331. 2334.    
  2332. 2335.   >you are Moondancer
  2333. 2336.   >you are never letting Anon near spellcasting materials ever again
  2334. 2337.   >once you can actually form a complete sentence without slurring, anyway
  2335. 2338.   >there's a reason most ponies are sugar junkies
  2336. 2339.   >magic needs fuel
  2337. 2340.   >sugary stuff is good for lots of fuel
  2338. 2341.   >not enough fuel and you burn fat, then the essential bits
  2339. 2342.   >or you burn too much magic at once and it scrubs the blood out, coma time
  2340. 2343.   >not that you don't enjoy a good hayburger
  2341. 2344.   >but magical ponies need their high-glucose brain foods. Like cupcakes.
  2342. 2345.   >you'd kick someone for a cupcake
  2343. 2346.   >or a donut
  2344. 2347.   >a dozen donuts
  2345. 2348.   >that's brilliant, Dumbledancer.
  2346. 2349.   >"hiwanna donutz, ahnon. Doh-nutssz."
  2347. 2350.    
  2348. 2351.   ---
  2349. 2352.    
  2350. 2353.   >you are Anon
  2351. 2354.   >you think your magic-stoner pony wants donuts
  2352. 2355.   >fortunately, even an idiot knows where to go in Canterlot for those
  2353. 2356.   >you lay Moondancer over your shoulders like a little lost lamb and hoist
  2354. 2357.   >cause using her legs seems to be off the table
  2355. 2358.   >close the door
  2356. 2359.   >and walk
  2357. 2360.    
  2358. 2361.   ---
  2359. 2362.    
  2360. 2363.   >you are Star Struck
  2361. 2364.   >Anon has just stalked by you with Moondancer wrapped around his neck like some kind of scarf
  2362. 2365.   >while she's wearing a pink, checkered apron
  2363. 2366.   >he gives you a fulminating state
  2364. 2367.   "Donut run."
  2365. 2368.   >and walks off
  2366. 2369.    
  2367. 2370.   ---
  2368. 2371.    
  2369. 2372.   >you are Donut Joe
  2370. 2373.   >heck, your name is synonymous with "round, deep-fried pastry goodness" the way everyone calls those nose tissues "Breezies".
  2371. 2374.   >you add another notch the "species served today" tally as a big ol' biped (not to worry, the door's alicorn-sized for good reason) comes in with one of your regulars
  2372. 2375.   >nice filly, studies way too much
  2373. 2376.   >then again, she's no Twilight Sparkle
  2374. 2377.   >looks like she pulled another double-all-nighter or something
  2375. 2378.   "Dooooohnutz."
  2376. 2379.   >Yep. Another zompony from Celestia's School for Gifted Overdoingits.
  2377. 2380.    
  2378. 2381.   >you are Moondancer
  2379. 2382.   >Anon has carried you to the sacred fount of revival
  2380. 2383.   >already, you feel the presence of the divine
  2381. 2384.   >"One Eternal All-Nighter Special, comin' up!"
  2382. 2385.   >you don't argue with Moon Princess when she names things
  2383. 2386.   >blessed Donuthalla, shiny and chrome
  2384. 2387.   >a bowl of black, caffeine-laden power is set before you
  2385. 2388.   >marshmallows sprinkled upon it
  2386. 2389.   >it is art
  2387. 2390.   >it is magic
  2388. 2391.   >it is...you can't quite get it
  2389. 2392.    
  2390. 2393.   ---
  2391. 2394.   >you are Anon
  2392. 2395.   >Moondancer's head is lying on the counter
  2393. 2396.   >she's making feeble tongue motions towards the cuppa Joe left on the table
  2394. 2397.   >you carefully hold her head
  2395. 2398.   >it's spaghootie-soft
  2396. 2399.   >and she's the limp noodle
  2397. 2400.   >the tongue sorta flops it's way across the artistic fluff and laps up a coffee-laden marshmallow
  2398. 2401.   >well, this definitely beats what you hold someone's head over normally when they're stoned like this
  2399. 2402.    
  2400. 2403.   ---
  2401. 2404.    
  2402. 2405.   >you are Moondancer
  2403. 2406.   >and you are lapping up coffee like a cat
  2404. 2407.   >you only feel MOSTLY dead right now
  2405. 2408.   >thankfully, Anon is keeping you from drowning in it
  2406. 2409.   >most ponies think Donut Joe's talent is in making those O-so-wonderfuls
  2407. 2410.   >finals-crunchers know he's got so much more
  2408. 2411.   >the hornache crumbles under the relentless stimulant
  2409. 2412.   >but you're still hollower than...
  2410. 2413.   >Oh, sweet Celestia, he's brought the donuts!
  2411. 2414.   >you reach for the plate of a dozen sweet salvations...
  2412. 2415.    
  2413. 2416.   ---
  2414. 2417.    
  2415. 2418.   >you are Anon
  2416. 2419.   >Moondancer briefly goes spazzy in your grip and faceplants in a chocolate creme with rainbow sprinkles
  2417. 2420.   >munching sounds are heard
  2418. 2421.   >most of the donut vanishes, the pastry icing gore smeared across her lips
  2419. 2422.   "Nonnnnn? Cmre."
  2420. 2423.   >you peer at the unicorn
  2421. 2424.   "Cloooooosr!"
  2422. 2425.   >OK...
  2423. 2426.    
  2424. 2427.   ---
  2425. 2428.    
  2426. 2429.   >you are Moondancer
  2427. 2430.   >you could kiss Anon for getting you here
  2428. 2431.   >if he gets close enough
  2429. 2432.   >Closer...
  2430. 2433.   >you lunge!
  2431. 2434.    
  2432. 2435.   ---
  2433. 2436.    
  2434. 2437.   >you are Anon
  2435. 2438.   >there is chocolate-flavored horseslobber running down your ear
  2436. 2439.   >Moondancer is flopped off the stool
  2437. 2440.   >hoof goes up
  2438. 2441.   >"Gimme donoots!"
  2439. 2442.   >you grab a cider cake one and lower it to the waiting maw
  2440. 2443.   >*snarfslobbergobble*
  2441. 2444.   >wow, she really IS eating like a horse
  2442. 2445.    
  2443. 2446.   >you are Anon
  2444. 2447.   >by donut number four, Moondancer has clawed her way up to resting her head on the stool
  2445. 2448.   >Donut Joe isn't even fazed by the show
  2446. 2449.   "You should have seen her during senior crunch."
  2447. 2450.   >and he noses over a stack of napkins
  2448. 2451.   >you hold a caramel cheesecake concoction over the beast at counter level
  2449. 2452.   >*SNAP*
  2450. 2453.   >only a thin rind remains crumbling at your fingers
  2451. 2454.   >you eat it
  2452. 2455.   >waste not, want not
  2453. 2456.   >besides, they're god-tier donuts
  2454. 2457.   >"So....can you get me another two plates and the dirt on this mad donut-devouring pony?"
  2455. 2458.   >Joe chuckles as Moondancer makes a plaintive noise at the words "plate" and "donut"
  2456. 2459.   "Sure, lemme tell you a good one!"
  2457. 2460.   ...
  2458. 2461.   "I had every donut on the shelf rolling that Trixie out of here and down the street. By the time they'd stop going, she swore she'd never trust anything round again!"
  2459. 2462.   >Moondancer's junior Group Animation project apparently had a few kinks in it
  2460. 2463.   "The worst part was this one poor unicorn. Head to toe in cheese quesadillas from the school cafeteria. Carried her up the bell tower and nested there for two days until they finally went stale enough to get her out!"
  2461. 2464.    
  2462. 2465.   ---
  2463. 2466.    
  2464. 2467.   >you are Moondancer
  2465. 2468.   >and you shall not allow your work to be defamed!
  2466. 2469.   "Hey! I still got a B on that "Fast Food" spell for creativity! And I paid for all the donuts..."
  2467. 2470.   >they've left a jelly stick unguarded
  2468. 2471.   >*snarf*
  2469. 2472.   >only a thin purple smear remains
  2470. 2473.   "So, who was that unicorn anyway?"
  2471. 2474.   >"Um....I'm not allowed to say. Still. Ever. Anon."
  2472. 2475.   >Twilight would turn you into an orange if you did.
  2473. 2476.   >you focus
  2474. 2477.   >draw
  2475. 2478.   >the chocolate-double-dipped Prench cruller is snatched from Anon's grasp and split in two
  2476. 2479.   >the door jingles cheerfully as a herd's worth of ponies start to stream in
  2477. 2480.   "Whoops! Evening rush is on. You two need anything else, just holler!"
  2478. 2481.    
  2479. 2482.   >you are Anon
  2480. 2483.   >you've just finished splitting a few plates of donuts
  2481. 2484.   >by which you mean Moondancer ate most of them and you managed to save a few
  2482. 2485.   >in your belly
  2483. 2486.   >you can understand where the pudge comes from under that sweater of hers
  2484. 2487.   >still, it's as relaxed as you've seen Moondancer in a crowded spot
  2485. 2488.   >she doesn't give a fuck
  2486. 2489.   >you could probably shake another donut's worth of crumbs out of her clothing
  2487. 2490.   >you think you got most of the choco-slobber off, but she's got bits of icing and sprinkles in her fur
  2488. 2491.   >the next time Moonie's gonna do magic to it, you're stocking up on junk food first
  2489. 2492.   "You know, I only got that spell to -really- work well on one thing."
  2490. 2493.   "Canned pasta."
  2491. 2494.   >"..."
  2492. 2495.   "Yeah! Anything less cooked tended to get a mind of it's own and attack random passerby."
  2493. 2496.   >you look at the now half-empty shelves and imagine them rolling off and attacking ponies
  2494. 2497.   >"Attack of the Killer Donut-Os" doesn't quite sound as good as tomatoes
  2495. 2498.    
  2496. 2499.   >you are Moondancer
  2497. 2500.   >and you've paid the power bill
  2498. 2501.   >by which you mean you snapped up every donut in each
  2499. 2502.   >Doh!
  2500. 2503.   >you're paying for Anon's tab tonight
  2501. 2504.   >and you kiss him on the cheek for good measure
  2502. 2505.   >"I hear you're supposed to tip the delivery pony."
  2503. 2506.   >Anon looks at you and grins
  2504. 2507.   "Just the tip?"
  2505. 2508.   >He gets another kiss for that.
  2506. 2509.   >"I tip generously!"
  2507. 2510.   >you are Anon, and she totally didn't get that one. Ponies...
  2508. 2511.   >you make your way out into the sunset, leaving only crumbs and dribbles behind
  2509. 2512.   >he's got his hand on your sweater the whole way back to the house
  2510. 2513.   >and it's magic
  2511. 2514.   >the kind Twilight taught you about
  2512. 2515.   >this is grade-A, 100% friendship
  2513. 2516.   >with some extra credit thrown in
  2514. 2517.   >and you love extra credit
  2515. 2518.   >you l~
  2516. 2519.   >your heart goes pitter-pat and thumpity-thump
  2517. 2520.    
  2518. 2521.   ---
  2519. 2522.    
  2520. 2523.   >you are Anon
  2521. 2524.   >and you've got your hand on Moondancer
  2522. 2525.   >just seems natural
  2523. 2526.   >walking down the street in the slowly darkening skies
  2524. 2527.   >she's good pone
  2525. 2528.   >you're almost to the house
  2526. 2529.   >and you close your eyes
  2527. 2530.   >just as you stop
  2528. 2531.   >something electric sizzles in the air, thunder and lightning without a sound goes off in your head
  2529. 2532.   >and you look down at Moondancer
  2530. 2533.   >she's literally got hearts in her eyes
  2531. 2534.   >like, someone replaced her pupils with Valentine's Day decorations
  2532. 2535.   >and they're bubbling off her like some kind of lovey-dovey champagne
  2533. 2536.    
  2534. 2537.   ---
  2535. 2538.    
  2536. 2539.   >you are Star Struck
  2537. 2540.   >and most people think you got your cutie mark for following every famous flank in Canterlot
  2538. 2541.   >and boy, do you write up some juicy stuff on each and every one of them
  2539. 2542.   >...with a little help from your special talent
  2540. 2543.   >it's not quite love magic, and it's not quite want-it-need-it
  2541. 2544.   >but you sure as Shining Armor shields cities get ponies blind head-over-hock stupid for each other
  2542. 2545.   >maybe you can get your annoying neighbor to do something -really- stupid now that she's got a target for your magic to stick to
  2543. 2546.   >flufflefeathers, it doesn't apparently work on monkeys!
  2544. 2547.   >...worked on HER, though. Good enough
  2545. 2548.   >not like she'll ever figure it out...
  2546. 2549.    
  2547. 2550.   >you are Anon
  2548. 2551.   >and Moondancer has gone full Pepe Le Pew on you
  2549. 2552.   >and you might be able to surgically separate her from your leg, but you doubt it
  2550. 2553.   >in fact, she's trying to climb you at the moment
  2551. 2554.   >she scrabbles her way up your pants
  2552. 2555.   >and you take the brief moment to pick the pony up and hold her at arm's length
  2553. 2556.   >she's making kissy faces
  2554. 2557.   >you look around
  2555. 2558.   >the only one looking at you is...
  2556. 2559.   >that fucker Star Struck from his balcony
  2557. 2560.   >he's -sneering- at you
  2558. 2561.   "Looks like the only one doing any climbing is your marefriend, lover boy!"
  2559. 2562.   >into Moondancer's house you go with Moonie kicking and hollering terms of endearment under one arm
  2560. 2563.   >seriously, "smoochie-wuggums"?
  2561. 2564.   >and her horn glows
  2562. 2565.   >and your pants are making a beeline for the floor
  2563. 2566.   >you grab the end of her horn and pinch
  2564. 2567.   >and the aura goes out like a snuffed candle
  2565. 2568.   >you wiggle-walk your way to the creaky old cushion-pile she uses for a bed
  2566. 2569.   >*pomf* goes the unicorn onto the bed
  2567. 2570.   "Oh! Anon! How ~romantic~ you are!"
  2568. 2571.   >she's trying to pose seductively
  2569. 2572.   >this is Moondancer
  2570. 2573.   >she looks more like she's trying to make a pillow angel
  2571. 2574.   "You're going to make my fondest dream come true! Oh, marry me! We're going to have SO many babies and I'm going to be your first mare and-"
  2572. 2575.   >it's even creepier with the way she's looking at you with those messed-up eyes
  2573. 2576.   >I mean, you'd do Moonie again happily
  2574. 2577.   >heck, you'd even call her your marefriend
  2575. 2578.   >but not like this
  2576. 2579.   >this is like date-rape material time here
  2577. 2580.   >and with that, you're grabbed up into the air and you find your face mashed into hers
  2578. 2581.   >and once again, everything just goes BOOM between your ears
  2579. 2582.    
  2580. 2583.   ---
  2581. 2584.    
  2582. 2585.   >you are Moondancer
  2583. 2586.   >and Anon is the most wonderful stallion in the world
  2584. 2587.   >you're going to stop working, have his foals, wait on him hoof and mouth like the divine creature he is
  2585. 2588.   >and you're going to smooch and snuggle him this instant!
  2586. 2589.   >your horn yanks the only thing that matters into the air and propels it to your eager mouth
  2587. 2590.   >and you drink in that sweet hooman's taste
  2588. 2591.    
  2589. 2592.    
  2590. 2593.   >you are still Moondancer
  2591. 2594.   >and you have your kissy-wissy husbando right where you want him
  2592. 2595.   >on top of you
  2593. 2596.   >where you're holding him
  2594. 2597.   >and getting your tongue inside to swap some spit when
  2595. 2598.   >something crackles inside your head
  2596. 2599.   >smoke literally pops out your ears
  2597. 2600.   >and a spark of -something- white-hot launches itself from your horn and streaks out the window
  2598. 2601.   >and it takes that desperate hunger for Anon away
  2599. 2602.   >...you're kinda struggle snuggling Anon
  2600. 2603.    
  2601. 2604.   ---
  2602. 2605.    
  2603. 2606.   >you are Star Struck
  2604. 2607.   >and you've just been star-struck
  2605. 2608.   >as your little special spell came back to sender with interest
  2606. 2609.   >blind-sided you right on the horn, a dozen times more powerful than when you sent it
  2607. 2610.   >and the backlash converts itself to heat and light
  2608. 2611.   >your bedroom briefly goes from dimly lit to full daylight
  2609. 2612.   >and your curtains are on fire
  2610. 2613.   >your bed is on fire
  2611. 2614.   >OH DEAR CELESTIA YOUR TAIL IS ON FIRE
  2612. 2615.   >and you run in a blind panic out of your house and down the block, leaving a trail of smouldering hair and terror
  2613. 2616.   >meanwhile, someone starts ringing a fire alarm
  2614. 2617.   >you're too busy diving into the fountain to put yourself out
  2615. 2618.    
  2616. 2619.   ---
  2617. 2620.    
  2618. 2621.   >you are Anon
  2619. 2622.   >and aside from the light show and the explosion next door, you're on top of Moondancer
  2620. 2623.   >kissing
  2621. 2624.   >but it doesn't feel wrong anymore
  2622. 2625.   >and whatever was fucked up in her eyes is gone
  2623. 2626.   >it's replaced by scared crying mare
  2624. 2627.   >so you settle into the pillow pile and hold her
  2625. 2628.   >and it'd be getting dark but someone lit the house next door on fire
  2626. 2629.   >couldn't happen to a better stallion, you think
  2627. 2630.   >all you could wish for now is some marshmallows
  2628. 2631.    
  2629. 2632.   ---
  2630. 2633.    
  2631. 2634.   >you are Star Struck
  2632. 2635.   >and the firepegasi are putting out your house
  2633. 2636.   >the second story is utterly ruined
  2634. 2637.   >"I-impossible...how could my spell go wrong? I've done it a thousand times! It's perfect! Perf-"
  2635. 2638.   >your world goes pink and blue
  2636. 2639.   >and you're turned around
  2637. 2640.   >very fast
  2638. 2641.   >it's the face of a pink, angry unicorn nose to nose with yours
  2639. 2642.   "What. Did. You. DO?"
  2640. 2643.   >and to your horror, that's when her wings snap out
  2641. 2644.   >and the royal guards move in
  2642. 2645.    
  2643. 2646.   >you are Anon
  2644. 2647.   >and somepony is knocking on the door
  2645. 2648.   >you are cuddling Moondancer
  2646. 2649.   >this is us time
  2647. 2650.   >and they won't stop knocking
  2648. 2651.   >you rub her head between the ears one last time
  2649. 2652.   >they flick as another rapping disturbs them
  2650. 2653.   >right, no more of this shit
  2651. 2654.   >you give her a quick I'm-sorry-gotta-get-up kiss and stand up
  2652. 2655.   >nearly trip over your pants
  2653. 2656.   >pull the pants up
  2654. 2657.   >go and open the door
  2655. 2658.   >It's some tall skinny pink pony
  2656. 2659.   >you'd say more, but as soon as you open the door your eyes water and your nose clogs up
  2657. 2660.   >fucking hell, you thought Equestrians were all hypoallergenic
  2658. 2661.   "Excuse me, can I come in-"
  2659. 2662.   >"No."
  2660. 2663.   >*SLAM*
  2661. 2664.   >it takes you a few minutes at the sink to get the horrid itching sensation to pass
  2662. 2665.   >back to the important stuff
  2663. 2666.    
  2664. 2667.   ---
  2665. 2668.    
  2666. 2669.   >you are Cadence, Princess of Love, ruler of the Crystal Empire, etc. etc.
  2667. 2670.   >and you'd been with your Aunties for a visit when Star Struck did his thing
  2668. 2671.   >you could feel that spell go wrong from halfway across the city, considering how much true love it takes to break it
  2669. 2672.   >fortunately, the scroll he got it from went up in flames
  2670. 2673.   >nopony else is going to learn that filthy magic
  2671. 2674.   >and he's going to spend a long time in the Canterlot dungeons...talking
  2672. 2675.   >you may have years of fixing the damage done to friendships, special someponies, and marriages
  2673. 2676.   >...and when you went to go find the last victim, a giant green-faced biped opened the door, told you off, and slammed the door in your face
  2674. 2677.   >he was crying, you better give him some space
  2675. 2678.   >*sniffles*
  2676. 2679.   >love getting twisted is so...so sad!
  2677. 2680.    
  2678. 2681.   ---
  2679. 2682.    
  2680. 2683.   >you are Orthoclase, proud scion of the line of Feldspar, guardians of the Crystal Princess
  2681. 2684.   >who is currently standing in front of a ratty old house and weeping for no discernable reason
  2682. 2685.   >that's dam-in-making hormones for you
  2683. 2686.   >"Come, m'lady. We shall fortify thee with chocolates."
  2684. 2687.   "W-with pickles?"
  2685. 2688.   >"If that be thine desire."
  2686. 2689.   >At least this time she didn't want hot peppers
  2687. 2690.   >and with that, the guards herd their charge (after a few hankies) back to Canterlot palace
  2688. 2691.    
  2689. 2692.   >you are Moondancer
  2690. 2693.   >and you've had a really hard day
  2691. 2694.   >and night
  2692. 2695.   >but Anon is here, and it's getting late
  2693. 2696.   >and honestly, he's halfway on the floor while you cuddle
  2694. 2697.   >"Anon? It's late, and you've had a really hard day...and I don't want you to sleep down here."
  2695. 2698.   "Afraid the floor will get me?"
  2696. 2699.   >you look at a black spot near your bed
  2697. 2700.   >Actually, that's a good point.
  2698. 2701.   >"It's been really, REALLY crazy today, and we've got work tomorrow, and maybe-"
  2699. 2702.   >your mouth locks up
  2700. 2703.   >you don't invite yourself over to a stallion's place, it's just not done!
  2701. 2704.   >ponies tend to think you're trying to push your way into herding them
  2702. 2705.   >how can you say it without saying it?
  2703. 2706.    
  2704. 2707.   ---
  2705. 2708.    
  2706. 2709.   >you are Anon
  2707. 2710.   >and Moondancer's looking flustered
  2708. 2711.   >It's not like you mind having her over
  2709. 2712.   >Bunny was a sure-fire insomnia cure, even without the wingjobs
  2710. 2713.   >pony cuddles are very relaxing things
  2711. 2714.   >"Rather get some snuggles in where we don't have to steal each other's blanket?"
  2712. 2715.    
  2713. 2716.   ---
  2714. 2717.    
  2715. 2718.   >you are Moondancer
  2716. 2719.   >Thank goodness for hooman sensibility
  2717. 2720.   >you thought he might not get the hint
  2718. 2721.   >instead, you're packing an overnighter in your saddlebag and walking to Anon's place
  2719. 2722.   >teeth are brushed
  2720. 2723.   >showers are had
  2721. 2724.   >dinner is mostly skipped on account of overdonuting
  2722. 2725.   >and sweet, sweet cuddle time is had
  2723. 2726.   >and for once in the day, nothing goes wrong
  2724. 2727.   >and you find Luna's domain with your chin using Anon's arm as a pillow
  2725. 2728.   >Goodnight, Moon(dancer).
  2726. 2729.    
  2727. 2730.   ---
  2728. 2731.    
  2729. 2732.   >you are Anon
  2730. 2733.   >it's been a long day
  2731. 2734.   >luckily for you, this is a good way to end it
  2732. 2735.   >you slip into your dreams almost immediately
  2733. 2736.   >Moondancer is in them
  2734. 2737.   >casting spells
  2735. 2738.   >eating donuts
  2736. 2739.   >getting hit by a Instant Infatuation Incantation
  2737. 2740.   >...where did that come from?
  2738. 2741.   >a flicker, like a cloud over the moonlight
  2739. 2742.   >and your slumber becomes more normal things
  2740. 2743.    
  2741. 2744.   ---
  2742. 2745.    
  2743. 2746.   >you are Moondancer
  2744. 2747.   >and you dream of the moon
  2745. 2748.   >and the moon becomes an eye
  2746. 2749.   >watching over as you banish the fears of the day
  2747. 2750.   >subtly catalyzing the dissolution of a thousand little anxieties
  2748. 2751.   >you won't remember tomorrow
  2749. 2752.   >others will
  2750. 2753.    
  2751. 2754.   >you are Anon and Moondancer
  2752. 2755.   >it's early in the morning
  2753. 2756.   >you're still fast asleep
  2754. 2757.   >in fact, you're going to be sound asleep for another three hours and change
  2755. 2758.   >so you won't notice the alicorn hovering by your window looking in
  2756. 2759.   >she's a mite gravid and wobbly
  2757. 2760.   >but she's smiling at the sight of you two wrapped around each other in a knot only love can tie
  2758. 2761.   >a little yank on the sheets to keep them from falling off the bed
  2759. 2762.   >and like a tubby pink sparrow, she flits back off into the morning sun
  2760. 2763.    
  2761. 2764.   >you are Moondancer
  2762. 2765.   >and you are awake for the most fundamental of reasons
  2763. 2766.   >the call of nature
  2764. 2767.   >Anon doesn't wanna let go
  2765. 2768.   >you don't really want him to let go
  2766. 2769.   >but you REALLY don't wanna let go
  2767. 2770.   >so you lick his nose and escape to the potty
  2768. 2771.    
  2769. 2772.   ---
  2770. 2773.    
  2771. 2774.   >you are Anon
  2772. 2775.   >and you are hopped on your favorite sleeping aid, snuggles
  2773. 2776.   >a single loose feather drifts in through the open window while you doze and make clutching motions at the warm pony-shaped space where your snuggle used to be
  2774. 2777.   >it lands on your nose
  2775. 2778.   >*twitch*
  2776. 2779.   >WAAAAAAAAHCHOOOOOO!
  2777. 2780.   >the thunderous blast sends the offending bit of hellish pink fluff back out into the open air from whence it came
  2778. 2781.   >someone falls off their perch with a few choice words in the bathroom
  2779. 2782.    
  2780. 2783.   ---
  2781. 2784.    
  2782. 2785.   >you are Moondancer
  2783. 2786.   >SOMEONE just roared in the bedroom
  2784. 2787.   >and you are currently hiding in a pile of toilet paper rolls, shivering
  2785. 2788.   >....what, it sounded like a manticore went off in there!
  2786. 2789.   >after a few minutes and getting a roll unstuck from your horn, you sheepishly peek out the bathroom door
  2787. 2790.   >there's Anon
  2788. 2791.   >his eyes are red and he's sniffling
  2789. 2792.   >...he's not sick, is he?
  2790. 2793.    
  2791. 2794.   ---
  2792. 2795.    
  2793. 2796.   >you are Anon, and Moondancer's talking-thinking again
  2794. 2797.   "You're not sick, are you?"
  2795. 2798.   >"Allergies. Yesterday, there was this pink extra-fluffy unicorn at your door with a crown on and it was horibble. *SNERK*"
  2796. 2799.   "...you're sure she didn't have wings?"
  2797. 2800.   >"What?"
  2798. 2801.   "You just told a Princess to go away."
  2799. 2802.   >"She wub making my nobe itchy and stubbe!"
  2800. 2803.   >Head goes under the bathroom tap and you soak your face until the horrible effects start to fade again
  2801. 2804.   >Moondancer is prancing in place
  2802. 2805.   "You...you told Princess Cadence to go away! "
  2803. 2806.   >she accidentally steps on your foot
  2804. 2807.    
  2805. 2808.   ---
  2806. 2809.    
  2807. 2810.   >you are Moondancer
  2808. 2811.   >and you're just so nervous you could trample someone
  2809. 2812.   >which you did
  2810. 2813.   >the panic whinnying is making funny echoes off the tile in here
  2811. 2814.   >I mean, you KNOW Princess Cadence
  2812. 2815.   >not know-KNOW her, but it's not like you didn't end up with a few study nights with Twilight when you were fillies
  2813. 2816.    
  2814. 2817.    
  2815. 2818.   >you are still Moondancer
  2816. 2819.   >and you're making little galloping circles in the bathroom with panicky horse noises
  2817. 2820.   >because you don't just tell Princesses to go away
  2818. 2821.   >OK, so you told a Princess to go away
  2819. 2822.   >a few times
  2820. 2823.   >OK, a lot of times
  2821. 2824.   >you're not on the moon or anything
  2822. 2825.   >you stop trying to paw a hole in the floor
  2823. 2826.   >I mean, she was Twilight's foalsitter!
  2824. 2827.   >and she's really nice and Twilight's brother is married to her and all that
  2825. 2828.   >your breathing slows down
  2826. 2829.   >you are not a silly pony
  2827. 2830.   >you are an educated librarian
  2828. 2831.   >you have left hoof marks all over Anon's pajamas
  2829. 2832.    
  2830. 2833.   ---
  2831. 2834.    
  2832. 2835.   >you are Anon
  2833. 2836.   >and while communing with the purifying glories of the tepid waters of get this devil shit out of my nostrils you think about last evening
  2834. 2837.   >so that's what a Big Gu-er, Girl in Equestria looks like?
  2835. 2838.   >you thought they were more like the Tallest or some shit
  2836. 2839.   >you're gonna bruise a little from where Moonie managed to panic-squash your shins
  2837. 2840.   >but given that Equestrians seem to be at least part marshmallow fluffy, you've done worse kicking the bed at night
  2838. 2841.   >you grope for a towel
  2839. 2842.   >it magically ends up in your hands
  2840. 2843.   >...oh, right. Unicorns.
  2841. 2844.   >It's not like the po-po or some Imperial Stormtrooper ponies have busted down the door and arrested you
  2842. 2845.   >and you say as much
  2843. 2846.    
  2844. 2847.   ---
  2845. 2848.    
  2846. 2849.   >you are Moondancer
  2847. 2850.   >and apparently you have to explain to Anon that no, there are no white-armored guards from the Crystal Empire
  2848. 2851.   >nor does Cadence shoot lightning from her hooves
  2849. 2852.   >and she isn't married to some stallion named Palpatine
  2850. 2853.   >...he's pulling your horn, isn't he?
  2851. 2854.   "You will be converted to the Love Side of the Force..."
  2852. 2855.   >given the hugs, you suppose you can forgive him for being the silly pony in the relationship
  2853. 2856.    
  2854. 2857.   >you are Anon
  2855. 2858.   >and this morning is your first day at work
  2856. 2859.   >eleven to four, Moondancer's ten to five
  2857. 2860.   >she does have seniority, after all
  2858. 2861.   >cereal, orange juice, brush your teeth and wash your face
  2859. 2862.   >it's an easy walk down to the library when you've got someone to talk to
  2860. 2863.   >you're in early, but Day Planner has paperwork to fill out
  2861. 2864.   >quills are definitely not ballpoint pens
  2862. 2865.   >but you're done by the time for your shift is ready
  2863. 2866.   >there's some differences from back home
  2864. 2867.   >but the Morning Dewey system is like an old-fashioned Dewey Decimal system back home
  2865. 2868.   >they still have a big section 92
  2866. 2869.   >and the 110's take up as much space as the 500's
  2867. 2870.   >and there's a 626 on "Magical Engineering" that's really popular given how Canterlot holds up
  2868. 2871.   >fortunately, you've got a backroom job
  2869. 2872.   >Miss Abridged was impressed with your hands for more applications than her ass
  2870. 2873.   >so you're working next to a bunch of ponies
  2871. 2874.   >Moondancer included
  2872. 2875.   >she's actually made a lot of "book friends" back here
  2873. 2876.   >Bookmark and Lucy Libro are earth ponies, Paste Pot's a unicorn, and Sweep's the library pegasus
  2874. 2877.   >she's the one who makes sure the air is clean, precisely the right humidity, and keeps the atmosphere properly conditioned, right down to keeping a few clouds around to reduce direct sunlight in the back
  2875. 2878.   >the whole room smells of buckram and old paste
  2876. 2879.   >you spend most of the day talking about archival sleeves and plates with Paste Pot while you breathe life back into dry spines and crumbling bindings
  2877. 2880.   >Bookmark and Lucy generally take care of the back-to-circulation carts
  2878. 2881.   >Moondancer gets the archived books and scrolls
  2879. 2882.   >you take a break around noon and it's sandwiches and soup all 'round in the breakroom
  2880. 2883.   >Four o' clock comes by faster than you imagined, and you sign out with Day Planner and go browse the 25's
  2881. 2884.   >unicorns use wood ash to make acid-free paper?
  2882. 2885.   >interesting...
  2883. 2886.    
  2884. 2887.   ---
  2885. 2888.    
  2886. 2889.   >you are Moondancer, and it's 5 o' clock
  2887. 2890.   >there's an attractive stallion with his nose in a book...
  2888. 2891.    
  2889. 2892.   >you are Anon
  2890. 2893.   >and there's someone breathing on you
  2891. 2894.   >no wait, that's Moondancer reading over your shoulder
  2892. 2895.   >you sneak your fingers down, down...
  2893. 2896.   *tickle*
  2894. 2897.   "Wa-HAH!"
  2895. 2898.   "SHHHHHH!"
  2896. 2899.   >mission accomplished
  2897. 2900.   >you walk out like a man as Moondancer slinks along behind with her ears down
  2898. 2901.   >the second she's clear of the exit, you ruffle the offending flat bits into pointing up again
  2899. 2902.    
  2900. 2903.   ---
  2901. 2904.    
  2902. 2905.   >you are Moondancer
  2903. 2906.   >and you've just been mass-shushed
  2904. 2907.   >Day Planner gave you the evil eye
  2905. 2908.   >(but then she winked at Anon)
  2906. 2909.   >he's ruffling your mane and reducing it to a muddled mess
  2907. 2910.   >you hate him
  2908. 2911.   >ok, you don't hate him
  2909. 2912.   >but you'd steal all his donuts again
  2910. 2913.   >and your mane is sticking to your sweater
  2911. 2914.   >yay, static
  2912. 2915.    
  2913. 2916.   ---
  2914. 2917.    
  2915. 2918.   >you are Anon
  2916. 2919.   >Moondancer walks besides you, random strands of mane reaching out to try to stick to other ponies as you pass by
  2917. 2920.   >this amuses the Anon
  2918. 2921.   >why is the ground heading your way?
  2919. 2922.    
  2920. 2923.   ---
  2921. 2924.    
  2922. 2925.   >you are Moondancer
  2923. 2926.   >those are some nice shoes Anon was wearing
  2924. 2927.   >it's a shame if someone tied the laces together
  2925. 2928.   >but you're feeling merciful, so...
  2926. 2929.    
  2927. 2930.   ---
  2928. 2931.    
  2929. 2932.   >you are Anon
  2930. 2933.   >and you're floating in midair with your shoes tied together
  2931. 2934.   >this is going to utterly ruin your "big strong guy" part of the relationship
  2932. 2935.   >Moondancer leisurely walks on as you flail, mane askew but grinning
  2933. 2936.    
  2934. 2937.   >you are Anon, destroyer of mane-dos
  2935. 2938.   >you are also flying
  2936. 2939.   >er, floating by force
  2937. 2940.   >naturally, you take the opportunity to do an aerial backstroke as Moondancer tows you along
  2938. 2941.   >from the look on Moondancer's face, she might find you a body of water to get a few laps in
  2939. 2942.    
  2940. 2943.   ---
  2941. 2944.    
  2942. 2945.   >you are Moondancer
  2943. 2946.   >your mane is a hydra's-nest
  2944. 2947.   >there aren't enough hairpins in Canterlot to get it all back down in a bun
  2945. 2948.   >so you force it (mostly) down and pin the mess to your sweater
  2946. 2949.   >someone is sleeping on the couch tonight, and it won't be...
  2947. 2950.   >Wait.
  2948. 2951.   >It's his couch. And his apartment.
  2949. 2952.   >but he's your stallion, right?
  2950. 2953.   >UGH. STALLIONS.
  2951. 2954.    
  2952. 2955.   ---
  2953. 2956.    
  2954. 2957.   >you are Anon
  2955. 2958.   >still floating
  2956. 2959.   >Moondancer pins down her mane (mostly) and moves on with an "UGH!"
  2957. 2960.   >It doesn't matter what race, apparently you just don't mess with a lady-do unless your name is Steven, you're FABULOUS and a licensed stylist
  2958. 2961.   >off she goes, nose up in the air in a huff
  2959. 2962.   >you're still floating there
  2960. 2963.   >not moving
  2961. 2964.   >ponies are starting to stare
  2962. 2965.    
  2963. 2966.   ---
  2964. 2967.    
  2965. 2968.   >you are Moondancer
  2966. 2969.   >and now that you've salvaged some semblance of dignity, you shall be off to your hom-
  2967. 2970.   >you walk half a block before you realize you left Anon
  2968. 2971.   >*YOINK!*
  2969. 2972.    
  2970. 2973.   ---
  2971. 2974.    
  2972. 2975.   >you are Anon
  2973. 2976.   >you feel like a fish on the line as the unseen forces reel you in
  2974. 2977.   >when you stop in front of Moondancer's horn, it'd have left skid marks if you'd been touching the ground
  2975. 2978.   >she stares at you
  2976. 2979.   >snorts
  2977. 2980.   >and does a perfect Canterlot Walk with you air-planking a foot over her glowing noggin
  2978. 2981.   >at least it's a relaxing trip to the apartment
  2979. 2982.    
  2980. 2983.   ---
  2981. 2984.    
  2982. 2985.   >you are Moondancer
  2983. 2986.   >and if Anon is going to act like a colt, he's going to be treated like one
  2984. 2987.   >so you tow him the entire way home like the naughty child he was
  2985. 2988.   >and he's not even ashamed of it!
  2986. 2989.   >you drop him on his butt and turn to stomp off to your house
  2987. 2990.   "Wait!"
  2988. 2991.    
  2989. 2992.   >you are Anon
  2990. 2993.   >and you have one shot at not having a pissy marefriend
  2991. 2994.   >"I'll...I'll do your hair for you. Nicely."
  2992. 2995.   >you hear your man card spontaneously combust and burn to ashes inside your head
  2993. 2996.    
  2994. 2997.   ---
  2995. 2998.    
  2996. 2999.   >you are Moondancer
  2997. 3000.   >Anon has just offered to do your hair
  2998. 3001.   >...maaaaybe he's learned something from all this
  2999. 3002.   >plus, Anon's fingers going through your mane, rubbing your scalp...
  3000. 3003.   >brushies. BRUSHIES.
  3001. 3004.   >"OK, Anon. But if this is an excuse to mess up my mane again? You're on the couch."
  3002. 3005.   >Hah! That's how you put your hoof down.
  3003. 3006.   >AND you got to use the couch threat.
  3004. 3007.   >you didn't tell him it was because he'd have to hold you nice and close all night to fit on it
  3005. 3008.    
  3006. 3009.   ---
  3007. 3010.    
  3008. 3011.   >you are Anon
  3009. 3012.   >you are being "punished" by having a cute pony in your lap
  3010. 3013.   >who you shall brush
  3011. 3014.   >and probably braid her mane for good measure
  3012. 3015.   >imokwiththis.jpg
  3013. 3016.   >"You bring the brushes and I'll do it."
  3014. 3017.   >time for a nice evening with Moonie
  3015. 3018.   >mare is happy
  3016. 3019.   >Anon is happy
  3017. 3020.   >everybody's gonna win here
  3018. 3021.   >it's the Equestrian Way
  3019. 3022.    
  3020. 3023.   >you are Moondancer
  3021. 3024.   >and you're going to do something daring when you get home
  3022. 3025.   >you get inside
  3023. 3026.   >grab your brushes
  3024. 3027.   >and your toothbrush
  3025. 3028.   >the "home" one
  3026. 3029.   >you're going to put it in Anon's bathroom and...
  3027. 3030.   >your Mom looks at you in the mirror above the sink
  3028. 3031.   "You're going to take care of the house when I'm gone, my little crescent roll?"
  3029. 3032.   >you flinch at the image
  3030. 3033.   >and it's gone
  3031. 3034.   >but she's still there in your head
  3032. 3035.   >this is the family home
  3033. 3036.   >you don't get to let go
  3034. 3037.   >no matter how happy you might be somewhere else
  3035. 3038.   >or if you afford to keep it going
  3036. 3039.   >you're the eldest daughter
  3037. 3040.   >it's your responsibility
  3038. 3041.   >and for a moment, Canterlot feels like a ball and chain on your fetlock
  3039. 3042.   >...and you put the toothbrush back in it's place
  3040. 3043.   >M-maybe you'll just stay home like a good mare and read a book
  3041. 3044.   >a lot of books
  3042. 3045.   >you put your horn against the cool porcelain as your eyes start to water...
  3043. 3046.   *KA-RACK!*
  3044. 3047.   >...the sink breaks off of the wall and a geyser of water sprays
  3045. 3048.   >all over you
  3046. 3049.   >inside the wall between the bathroom and living room
  3047. 3050.   >all over the floor
  3048. 3051.   >running in a stream out your back door
  3049. 3052.   >and you scream
  3050. 3053.   >do you ever scream
  3051. 3054.    
  3052. 3055.   ---
  3053. 3056.    
  3054. 3057.   >you are Golden Pearl
  3055. 3058.   >and there's sweet music in the air
  3056. 3059.   >and a Moondancer River
  3057. 3060.   >that letter will be making it's way to it's destination in a day or two
  3058. 3061.   >then they'll inspect her house
  3059. 3062.   >condemn it
  3060. 3063.   >and you'll be ready to snap up your new closet space at last
  3061. 3064.   >maybe Star Struck's house for good measure now that he's out of the picture
  3062. 3065.   >Ooh! Guest house. You've always wanted another one.
  3063. 3066.   >you rear up and rub your forehooves together
  3064. 3067.   >Yes, everything is going to be -perfect-.
  3065. 3068.    
  3066. 3069.   ---
  3067. 3070.    
  3068. 3071.   >you are Anon
  3069. 3072.   >it's been an hour
  3070. 3073.   >why you no brushie brushie?
  3071. 3074.    
  3072. 3075.   >you are Moondancer
  3073. 3076.   >and you're bawling
  3074. 3077.   >but somepony is comforting you
  3075. 3078.   >actually, she smells kinda...
  3076. 3079.    
  3077. 3080.   ---
  3078. 3081.    
  3079. 3082.   >you are Minuette
  3080. 3083.   >and you were on your way to work when you passed by
  3081. 3084.   >and flood and crying and where the heck is anyone else
  3082. 3085.   >and you realized that she needed
  3083. 3086.   >and you wanted
  3084. 3087.   >and here you are
  3085. 3088.   >you managed to get the water turned off
  3086. 3089.   >well, the water in the house
  3087. 3090.   >Moondancer's a mess
  3088. 3091.   >her hair's all over the place
  3089. 3092.   >and it's covered in sniffles and soaked and yuck
  3090. 3093.   >so you lean against her and tell her it's going to be all right
  3091. 3094.   >till she takes a step
  3092. 3095.   >and you lean
  3093. 3096.   >and she steps
  3094. 3097.   >and you lean
  3095. 3098.   >and she's walking
  3096. 3099.   >and you take her back to your apartment
  3097. 3100.   >and she's crying
  3098. 3101.   >and you put her in the shower and coo at her and wash the yuck away
  3099. 3102.   >and she's not crying too much
  3100. 3103.   >and you tell work you had an emergency
  3101. 3104.   >and she's dead on her hooves from crying
  3102. 3105.   >and you get her a couple of aspirin for the sob-ache
  3103. 3106.   >and you get her into bed
  3104. 3107.   >and you hold her
  3105. 3108.   >and it's everything you wanted
  3106. 3109.   >except for the sobs
  3107. 3110.   >but you'll make it better
  3108. 3111.   >and you kiss it to make it better
  3109. 3112.   >there's a lot of holding
  3110. 3113.   >and a lot of kissing
  3111. 3114.   >and you make wine from her tears
  3112. 3115.   >the intoxicating salt
  3113. 3116.   >the warmth as you cuddle
  3114. 3117.   >she is sad and beautiful and everything with her hair laying about her in candy-colored strands
  3115. 3118.   >and she is yours
  3116. 3119.   >sometime, in the night the sad lets go and there's peace in your little apartment
  3117. 3120.   >just the two of you and the taste on your tongue
  3118. 3121.   >sleeping
  3119. 3122.   >it's a strange way to your happy place
  3120. 3123.   >but you've found it
  3121. 3124.    
  3122. 3125.   ---
  3123. 3126.    
  3124. 3127.   >you are Anon
  3125. 3128.   >and you're asleep on the couch
  3126. 3129.   >fitful, sorry
  3127. 3130.   >she got mad
  3128. 3131.   >she didn't come back
  3129. 3132.   >you fucked up
  3130. 3133.   >you'll tell her sorry in the morning
  3131. 3134.   >with enough flowers for brunch
  3132. 3135.   >but tonight, you'll give her space
  3133. 3136.   >and since no brushie
  3134. 3137.   >couch it is
  3135. 3138.    
  3136. 3139.   >you are Moondancer
  3137. 3140.   >and you cried yourself to sleep on a friend's shoulder because your house basically asploded
  3138. 3141.   >but she's really very cuddly
  3139. 3142.   >and she's rubbing her hindleg down...there
  3140. 3143.   >which is why you woke up
  3141. 3144.   >she's tickling your teats
  3142. 3145.   >you're still wearing your sweater from last night
  3143. 3146.   >and you really need to get some water in and out right now
  3144. 3147.   >Minuette refuses to let go until you levitate a pillow into the snuggle position
  3145. 3148.   >while you park your rump, you think about last night
  3146. 3149.   >your eyebrows make a nice V shape when you realize it's been all night and Anon's been-
  3147. 3150.   >you leap off the porcelain thinking spot
  3148. 3151.   >run back in to flush
  3149. 3152.   >run out past a very sleepy Minuette
  3150. 3153.   >and out the door
  3151. 3154.   >down the stairs
  3152. 3155.   >and down the street you go
  3153. 3156.    
  3154. 3157.   ---
  3155. 3158.    
  3156. 3159.   >you are Minuette
  3157. 3160.   >why the snuggles go away?
  3158. 3161.   >UGH.
  3159. 3162.   >you'll deal with it in a few hours
  3160. 3163.   >night dancers are not morning ponies
  3161. 3164.   >Zzzz...
  3162. 3165.   >Hello, cute and sexy mare with the red and purple socks!
  3163. 3166.   >"Mmrph...make them go all the way up Moonie..."
  3164. 3167.   >it's probably better that she didn't actually hear that
  3165. 3168.    
  3166. 3169.   ---
  3167. 3170.    
  3168. 3171.   >you are Anon
  3169. 3172.   >on the couch
  3170. 3173.   >it took a few hours but you're in a fitful slumber
  3171. 3174.   >clutching a pillow
  3172. 3175.   >it smells like her
  3173. 3176.   >once you're tired enough, that was what you needed
  3174. 3177.   >the pillow is gone though
  3175. 3178.   >the smell is still there
  3176. 3179.   >something tucked into your arms while you start to rouse
  3177. 3180.   >warm, fuzzy something
  3178. 3181.   >smells nice
  3179. 3182.   >hugs
  3180. 3183.    
  3181. 3184.   ---
  3182. 3185.    
  3183. 3186.   >you are Moondancer
  3184. 3187.   >you stole back into Anon's apartment
  3185. 3188.   >and there he is on the couch
  3186. 3189.   >you were going to fluff that pillow
  3187. 3190.   >he grabbed you instead
  3188. 3191.   >nose against the back of your neck
  3189. 3192.   >legs hanging off the side of the couch
  3190. 3193.   >...not waking him up just yet
  3191. 3194.   >today, you're going to be a total cuddle slut
  3192. 3195.   >life owes you this after last night
  3193. 3196.    
  3194. 3197.   >you are Abigail Abridged
  3195. 3198.   >and you're getting off in the bath before work
  3196. 3199.   >again
  3197. 3200.   >lying on your back while the faucet blasts cool water over your aching crotch
  3198. 3201.   >you'd call in hot, but that's not going to change things
  3199. 3202.   >not going to get Anon's hands slapping your ass while his big thick stallion stick makes the need go away
  3200. 3203.   >you've never had luck with mating
  3201. 3204.   >for all the books you've read, you never could read a male right
  3202. 3205.   >and Anon was the next chapter in "Abigail Can't Snag Stallions"
  3203. 3206.   >the orgasm and cold water just gets the heat down to a dull throbbing
  3204. 3207.   >but it's time for work
  3205. 3208.   >deodorant, "plot patch" so ponies don't have to stare at you winking, mane up, ears down
  3206. 3209.   >days like this you -wish- you were an old nag so you'd stop getting that springtime Celestia special
  3207. 3210.   >but you aren't
  3208. 3211.   >so it's off to work you go
  3209. 3212.    
  3210. 3213.   >you are Moondancer
  3211. 3214.   >you are couch pillow
  3212. 3215.   >Anon is making happy noises in his sleep
  3213. 3216.   >rubbing his face against your neck
  3214. 3217.   >*poke*
  3215. 3218.   >now he's rubbing something else against you
  3216. 3219.   >b-but you're not in heat, what's making him do this?
  3217. 3220.   >stallions aren't interested in...that with a mare who isn't ready!
  3218. 3221.   >you're blushing enough to keep Anon warm, never mind the rest of you
  3219. 3222.   >he's...cuddling your marebits
  3220. 3223.   >you remember Anon telling you that humans will spoil you for stallions
  3221. 3224.   >there's a pleasant tingle going on down there
  3222. 3225.   >hand doing handsy things to your teats
  3223. 3226.   >hand rubbing your belly under the sweater
  3224. 3227.    
  3225. 3228.   ---
  3226. 3229.    
  3227. 3230.   >you are Anon
  3228. 3231.   >dreaming happy dreams about mare molesting
  3229. 3232.   >Moondancer making little squeals of delight
  3230. 3233.   >it's so real you wonder if she'd be as happy with you awake
  3231. 3234.   >most mares don't really seem to be interested if they're not in heat
  3232. 3235.   >it's a dream, so why not enjoy it?
  3233. 3236.    
  3234. 3237.   ---
  3235. 3238.    
  3236. 3239.   >you are Moondancer
  3237. 3240.   >and Anon is clearly out of it
  3238. 3241.   >but he must be dreaming about mares
  3239. 3242.   >...he's doing that thing with his hand
  3240. 3243.   >you can't help but shiver when he starts exploring
  3241. 3244.   >it's not the crazy feeling you got when Anon was cooling you down, even when you were still presenting a little with Minuette
  3242. 3245.   >it's...warm. Loving. Like he's bringing you into heat, just by touching you the right way.
  3243. 3246.   >there's a trickle, not a gush
  3244. 3247.   >enough to make his fingers slippery without ruining the couch
  3245. 3248.   >you weren't thinking about mating for months, you thought
  3246. 3249.   >stallions just can't get it up right without a receptive mare
  3247. 3250.   >mares aren't thinking of stallions that way unless they're in heat
  3248. 3251.   >humans apparently have...ha~aaaah
  3249. 3252.    
  3250. 3253.   ---
  3251. 3254.    
  3252. 3255.   >you are Anon
  3253. 3256.   >and this is an awesome wet dream
  3254. 3257.   >your dick is probably diamonds
  3255. 3258.   >and then your mind makes that imperceptible shift from half-sleep to half-awake
  3256. 3259.   >and you aren't humping a pillow
  3257. 3260.   >it's Moondancer
  3258. 3261.   >making very happy noises while you stroke her ponycootch-ie coo
  3259. 3262.   >so you dip a few fingers in
  3260. 3263.   >it's not drenching your hand
  3261. 3264.   >but it's plenty slippery enough
  3262. 3265.    
  3263. 3266.   >you are still Anon
  3264. 3267.   >and Moondancer is panting and sighing about being horsemolested
  3265. 3268.   >so you say hello
  3266. 3269.   >"Hello, Moonie."
  3267. 3270.   "A-anon? I'm nnnnn...not in heat, but hhhhh...how are you so ready?"
  3268. 3271.   >"Human mares don't go into heat, human stallions don't need to sniff a hot mare to do-"
  3269. 3272.   >and you gently pinch her clit between two fingers
  3270. 3273.   >"Stuff like this."
  3271. 3274.    
  3272. 3275.   ---
  3273. 3276.    
  3274. 3277.   >you are Moondancer
  3275. 3278.   >and you had no bucking idea that anyone would want you for mating-without-mating
  3276. 3279.   >pony stallions don't get it up without smelling the right things
  3277. 3280.   >and if it's too much, they're flaring before they stick it in and you've got to wait to try again
  3278. 3281.   >and then it's like a minute at most
  3279. 3282.   >or so you've read
  3280. 3283.   >no stallion could be doing ~this~ to you
  3281. 3284.   >...you're not letting a "sexy cuddler" like this away for the rest of your life
  3282. 3285.   >and he does that thing with his fingers as they curl up and thrust-
  3283. 3286.    
  3284. 3287.   ---
  3285. 3288.    
  3286. 3289.   >you are Anon
  3287. 3290.   >and Moondancer just apparently came
  3288. 3291.   >horn-sparks sprinkling the floor and drifting out the window like fireflies
  3289. 3292.   >your hand is wet
  3290. 3293.   >but it isn't any messier than jacking off into your own hand
  3291. 3294.   >once the belly loosens a bit and her legs stop kicking air, you hear:
  3292. 3295.    
  3293. 3296.   ---
  3294. 3297.    
  3295. 3298.   >you are Moondancer
  3296. 3299.   >"Can we...cuddle like that more?"
  3297. 3300.   >and there's something else poking your backside
  3298. 3301.   >and inside
  3299. 3302.   >Wow, he's actually mating with you outside of heat!
  3300. 3303.   >You hold him, but it's not a panic-heat-the-meat-hug
  3301. 3304.   >there's no frenzy to get that precious seed
  3302. 3305.   >just the pleasant feeling of fullness as Anon presses again and again into your rear
  3303. 3306.   >and there's another gentle ripple of joy
  3304. 3307.   >and a third a few minutes later as he squeezes you like a doll and the warmth of his own release mixes with your own
  3305. 3308.   >the room is filled with little magical motes that are caught on the breeze and drift out into the morning sky
  3306. 3309.   >was that you?
  3307. 3310.    
  3308. 3311.   ---
  3309. 3312.    
  3310. 3313.   >you are Anon
  3311. 3314.   >and that was definitely something new
  3312. 3315.   >Bunny wasn't ever up for sex-sex even if she'd get you off
  3313. 3316.   >but Moondancer certainly seemed to like it
  3314. 3317.    
  3315. 3318.    
  3316. 3319.   >you are Minuette
  3317. 3320.   >and you're looking for Moondancer
  3318. 3321.   >she isn't at her house
  3319. 3322.   >and she ran out in a hurry
  3320. 3323.   >maybe she's at Anon's place?
  3321. 3324.   >you get to just outside the apartment building when a gust of wind blows a cloud of sparkles down from the skies
  3322. 3325.   >they're like itty-bitty snowflakes
  3323. 3326.   >and they melt on contact
  3324. 3327.   >why do you feel so warm all of the sudden?
  3325. 3328.   >it's not heat, Anon took care of that
  3326. 3329.   >but all the sudden, a stallion sounds REALLY nice
  3327. 3330.   >there's one right there in the middle of the street in a fancy top hat
  3328. 3331.   >"R~rowr."
  3329. 3332.   >that's not the part you're into right now
  3330. 3333.   >nor are the eight other mares giving him the winker's eye
  3331. 3334.   >aw, he's running away!
  3332. 3335.   >that's OK. You're athletic.
  3333. 3336.   >and with a bounce, you're off to the races in the Stallion Stakes
  3334. 3337.   >a solid second behind that one mare
  3335. 3338.   "Dear- Sweet Celestia! What's gotten into you?"
  3336. 3339.   "Mmm...why aren't you in ME?", she says-
  3337. 3340.   >and the two tear off nose-to-tail through the crowd
  3338. 3341.   >like a couple or something
  3339. 3342.   >you shake your head and slow down, the other mares blitzing past you after their goal
  3340. 3343.   >you just tried to...jump a mare and her herd stallion?
  3341. 3344.   >that's not nice
  3342. 3345.   >but he'd feel so goooood
  3343. 3346.   >No, that's not NICE.
  3344. 3347.   >and the warm feeling in your nether regions dissolves like a wisp of cooling tea as you shake off whatever-it-was in confusion
  3345. 3348.    
  3346. 3349.   ---
  3347. 3350.    
  3348. 3351.   >you are Drafty Dodger
  3349. 3352.   >and your herdmate Merry Hail has got her tail up
  3350. 3353.   >in the dead end alley she's ran you into
  3351. 3354.   >backed into a corner
  3352. 3355.   "Honnnney Dodger, I want you to buck m-"
  3353. 3356.   >and she blinks
  3354. 3357.   "I want- what?"
  3355. 3358.   >you take this as a good time to use the wall as a handy leaning spot and konk out
  3356. 3359.    
  3357. 3360.   ---
  3358. 3361.    
  3359. 3362.   >you are Anon
  3360. 3363.   >and you're kissing your marefriend good morning
  3361. 3364.   >it's like yesterday's wrongs never happened
  3362. 3365.   "Noooonie, brushies?"
  3363. 3366.   >she's giving you the cutie eyes and levitating a manebrush
  3364. 3367.   >OK, maybe they happened a little
  3365. 3368.   >and you curry out the tangles while she floats a coffee cup up to your lips for sips
  3366. 3369.   >it's still a good morning
  3367. 3370.    
  3368. 3371.   >you are Anon
  3369. 3372.   >and Moondancer
  3370. 3373.   >and you're off to work
  3371. 3374.   >(after a little cleaning up)
  3372. 3375.   >morning sex is good sex
  3373. 3376.   >it's not like most pony couples would make the effort
  3374. 3377.   >and you're strolling down the street
  3375. 3378.   >you've got a bounce in your step
  3376. 3379.   >you're being pulled into an alleyway by your shirt collar
  3377. 3380.   >Lyra Heartstrings is pulling your coltfriend into an alleyway with that slightly demented grin of hers
  3378. 3381.   >Oh, fuck.
  3379. 3382.   >Oh, BUCK.
  3380. 3383.    
  3381. 3384.   ---
  3382. 3385.    
  3383. 3386.   >you are Lyra Heartstrings, xenoarcheologist and musician
  3384. 3387.   >that butt mark of yours is an interest both in the past and music, after all
  3385. 3388.   >and when you heard the descriptions from Minuette about Moondancer's colt-toy, you knew what it was
  3386. 3389.   >an ancient race that had enslaved the first ponies as beasts of burden, the Hooms!
  3387. 3390.   >you'd find out his nefarious plans and save Equestria from
  3388. 3391.   "Oh, hi! You must be Lyra."
  3389. 3392.   >...he knows...
  3390. 3393.   "LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!"
  3391. 3394.   >Uh-oh. Moondancer's defending the Hoom like she's already enthralled! Time to-
  3392. 3395.   *skkritchy-skritch*
  3393. 3396.   >W-what is this...
  3394. 3397.   >my ears...
  3395. 3398.    
  3396. 3399.   ---
  3397. 3400.    
  3398. 3401.   >you are Anon
  3399. 3402.   >and this is your favorite trick ever
  3400. 3403.   >skritch the pony-ears
  3401. 3404.   >see how long it takes them to snap out of it
  3402. 3405.   "H~nnngh..."
  3403. 3406.   >resistance is futile
  3404. 3407.   "Anon, she isn't going to tell me why she just tried to drag you into an alley if you keep doing that!"
  3405. 3408.   >luckily, you have two hands
  3406. 3409.    
  3407. 3410.   ---
  3408. 3411.    
  3409. 3412.   >you are Moondancer and Lyra
  3410. 3413.   >and you are being manhandled
  3411. 3414.   >that is, a luxuriant feeling of scratchies behind your ears
  3412. 3415.   >it fades, just enough to remember where you are
  3413. 3416.   >in an alley, with Anon
  3414. 3417.    
  3415. 3418.   ---
  3416. 3419.    
  3417. 3420.   >you are Anon
  3418. 3421.   >you desire a croissant and hot chocolate before work
  3419. 3422.   >so you turn the ear-love down a few notches
  3420. 3423.   >"Breakfast? Lilac Roan's?"
  3421. 3424.    
  3422. 3425.   ---
  3423. 3426.    
  3424. 3427.   >you are Lyra
  3425. 3428.   >you have been effortlessly subdued by the Hoom
  3426. 3429.   >who has just invited you to breakfast
  3427. 3430.   >which, in your crusade you had forgotten about
  3428. 3431.   >*gurgle*
  3429. 3432.   >"Umm..."
  3430. 3433.   >Moondancer gives you a baleful stare that changes that to "You will go to breakfast or you will become an experiment in orbital mechanics".
  3431. 3434.   >"Yes?"
  3432. 3435.    
  3433. 3436.   >you are Anon
  3434. 3437.   >and you're heading to Lilac Roan's
  3435. 3438.   >you could do this with your eyes closed
  3436. 3439.   >just follow the smell of fresh, flaky pastries
  3437. 3440.   >biscuits and mushroom gravy
  3438. 3441.   >croissants
  3439. 3442.   >and a baklava that must take tapping a beehive for the honey alone
  3440. 3443.   >and the croissants are just out of the oven
  3441. 3444.   >brushed with butter
  3442. 3445.   >it's nice having some bits padding your pockets
  3443. 3446.   >so there's a pile of best bready treat
  3444. 3447.   >two unicorns
  3445. 3448.   >who manage to pick up one at the same time
  3446. 3449.   >fortunately, it shreds in two
  3447. 3450.   >Moonie's chewing on hers like a wolf
  3448. 3451.   >Lyra's keeping her mouth full and giving you the side-eye
  3449. 3452.   >clearly, you must masterfully lead the conversation
  3450. 3453.   >"Sooooo! I hear you and Moondancer are old friends. Welcome to Canterlot!"
  3451. 3454.    
  3452. 3455.   ---
  3453. 3456.    
  3454. 3457.   >you are Lyra Heartstrings
  3455. 3458.   >should you say something?
  3456. 3459.   >will Moondancer launch you so hard you become your own constellation?
  3457. 3460.   >he's a pony-enslaving minion of evil
  3458. 3461.   >but do minions of evil buy you breakfast?
  3459. 3462.   >do they give you...
  3460. 3463.   >your tail twitches
  3461. 3464.   >Bucking bothersome heat flashes
  3462. 3465.   >you grab another croissant and chew slowly to buy time
  3463. 3466.   >what would Agent Bon Bon do?
  3464. 3467.   ---
  3465. 3468.    
  3466. 3469.   >you are Anon
  3467. 3470.   >time to turn up things a notch
  3468. 3471.   >"Moondancer's been a wonderful friend to me. Why, I wouldn't have a career as a professional cooler and library aide without her!"
  3469. 3472.   >you duck as Lyra hacks out a sodden breadball
  3470. 3473.    
  3471. 3474.   ---
  3472. 3475.    
  3473. 3476.   >you are Lyra
  3474. 3477.   >and HE COVERS MARES FOR A LIVING?
  3475. 3478.   >t-the Hooms...snu-snu-you into being their mare-mistresses?
  3476. 3479.   >you choke on your breakfast and do your best Opalescence impression
  3477. 3480.   >*HACK*
  3478. 3481.   >it lands in a glass in the recently vacated table next door
  3479. 3482.   >you meant to do that
  3480. 3483.   >"A-heheheh...about that...thaaat's why I pulled you into the alley!"
  3481. 3484.   "Books?"
  3482. 3485.   >"N-no..."
  3483. 3486.   >you sit up like the Hoom does and lean over to whisper in his ear
  3484. 3487.   >"I'm sorta running hot today."
  3485. 3488.   >*JAB*
  3486. 3489.   >and that's Moondancer's hoof in your ribs
  3487. 3490.    
  3488. 3491.   ---
  3489. 3492.    
  3490. 3493.   >you are Moondancer
  3491. 3494.   >and Lyra's studying Anon like a pre-Minosian vase
  3492. 3495.   >...annnnd her ears just went up all the way when Nonny said "cooler"
  3493. 3496.    
  3494. 3497.   >you are still Moondancer
  3495. 3498.   >and you've got one forehoof firmly in Lyra's ribs right now
  3496. 3499.   >"Let me guess, Lyra."
  3497. 3500.   >"Oh, I'm so shy about finding a stallion when I'm heating that when I saw Anon, I was just OVERCOME with the need to ask him!"
  3498. 3501.   >you look at Anon
  3499. 3502.   >"That's Lyra speak for "she'd like to study you harder than a seven course syllabus collection for Advanced Arcanodynamics III."
  3500. 3503.   "Could I?"
  3501. 3504.   >"I don't know, Lyra. Could you what? I'm his front and his marefriend."
  3502. 3505.   "Could I do it...for science?"
  3503. 3506.   >your eyebrows peak somewhere around the summit of Mt. Canterhorn
  3504. 3507.   >"You released a ancient Pegasopian Horned Daemon into Mr. Hinny's third-year class the last time you said that."
  3505. 3508.   "But-"
  3506. 3509.   >"It ate their research papers and puked cuneiform all over the blackboard."
  3507. 3510.   "Butttt-"
  3508. 3511.   >"You think you can write about some weird mythological sex rituals using Anon as your source and get published. Again."
  3509. 3512.   "He IS a weird mythological! He's a Hoom!"
  3510. 3513.   >"Hooman, Lyra."
  3511. 3514.   "Hoom, Hooman, whatever! He's-"
  3512. 3515.   >"Two hundred bits an hour and if you get weird with him, no refunds. Anon, is she too weird?"
  3513. 3516.   "Is she going to eat my hands?"
  3514. 3517.   >What? EWW.
  3515. 3518.   >"NO!"
  3516. 3519.   "Well, alrighty then."
  3517. 3520.    
  3518. 3521.   ---
  3519. 3522.    
  3520. 3523.   >you are Anon.
  3521. 3524.   >the hot chocolate is delicious
  3522. 3525.   >the Lyra is...interesting
  3523. 3526.   >you think you'll spend some quality time picking her brains about legends while scratching behind her ears
  3524. 3527.   >boops as needed to ensure she spills the mythical beans
  3525. 3528.   >...why is Moondancer so hot for you to trot, anyway?
  3526. 3529.    
  3527. 3530.   ---
  3528. 3531.    
  3529. 3532.   >you are Moondancer
  3530. 3533.   >and you're not telling Anon how deep in the bucket you likely are
  3531. 3534.   >that's not something you burden a stallion with if you love them, right?
  3532. 3535.   >Lyra will talk Anon half to death, do something weird as usual, show's over, Anon has more pocket money and you can pay the plumber without giving anything away
  3533. 3536.   >nothing can go wrong with this
  3534. 3537.   >and after exchanging addresses, you and Anon are off to work for the day
  3535. 3538.    
  3536. 3539.   >you are Anon
  3537. 3540.   >and you kiss Moondancer goodbye after work
  3538. 3541.   >she's saying something about Brothers Plumbing as she walks off
  3539. 3542.   >but she's also got the advance from Lyra for the night in her saddlebags
  3540. 3543.   >probably end up with three new books before she gets home
  3541. 3544.   >shopping is girl therapy, right?
  3542. 3545.   >then, you turn the corner off the stairs and there is a sea of books
  3543. 3546.   >somewhere in the middle, there must be a pony, but you can't see them for the sea
  3544. 3547.   >"Lyra?"
  3545. 3548.   >and there's a hoof tapping your ass
  3546. 3549.   >you totally didn't just jump in the air, that was just turning around politely
  3547. 3550.   "Hi!"
  3548. 3551.   >she's...rather strangely dressed
  3549. 3552.   "Hoom-ans have a nudity taboo, right? When Minuette heard I was coming over, she told me you'd love seeing me formally dressed for the occasion!"
  3550. 3553.   >it's probably a good thing your slacks have some slack in them
  3551. 3554.   >stick to the plan...
  3552. 3555.   >"Do come in. I've got cake."
  3553. 3556.   >"Ooh! Cake!"
  3554. 3557.   >it's going to be an -interesting- night
  3555. 3558.    
  3556. 3559.   >you are Moondancer
  3557. 3560.   >and there are two plumbers from the Crystal Empire turning your bits into fixed pipes
  3558. 3561.   >which is appropriate, as they may very well date BACK to the Sombran Occupation
  3559. 3562.   *KLONG* "Mama mia!"
  3560. 3563.   >you'd never heard of these guys, but the 25% off flyer you found stuck in the door made an impression your bit bag couldn't resist
  3561. 3564.   >and the pre-discount rate was good too
  3562. 3565.   "OWOWOWOWOWOWOW."
  3563. 3566.   >the green one's apparently found a turtle in the pipes, nose first
  3564. 3567.   >you're thinking about Anon
  3565. 3568.   >you'd rather be there
  3566. 3569.   >but you'd also like to not have Crescent Estate become a water park
  3567. 3570.   >Lyra's just strange
  3568. 3571.   >Anon'll be fine
  3569. 3572.    
  3570. 3573.   ---
  3571. 3574.    
  3572. 3575.   >you are Anon
  3573. 3576.   "So, why do you only wear socks on your hind legs?"
  3574. 3577.   "Can you tell me why ancient Hooms had a bridle on all their ponies? Was it some kind of fetish?"
  3575. 3578.   "Did you come back after a thousand years? Equestria tends to have problems with that."
  3576. 3579.   >you're being bombarded by questions by a pony in Equestian lingerie who thinks this is "making you comfortable"
  3577. 3580.   >she sits up
  3578. 3581.   >straight up
  3579. 3582.   >good grief, she's got teat covers
  3580. 3583.   >lacy ones
  3581. 3584.   >right in your face, Anon
  3582. 3585.   >and her tail keeps wagging and fanning hormonal mare up your nose
  3583. 3586.   >think about something else
  3584. 3587.   >Moondancer in socks comes to mind
  3585. 3588.   >dammit, boner
  3586. 3589.    
  3587. 3590.   >you are Lyra
  3588. 3591.   >and you're learning so much about Hoom-ans
  3589. 3592.   >you wonder if "Anon" is some kind of Hoom-an naming convention like gryphons and G-names
  3590. 3593.   >"Hoom"- Anon.
  3591. 3594.   >too bad there's only one of them and if they're anything like gryphons, mentioning it is a great way to learn about violent predator reactions
  3592. 3595.   >I mean, he's already got this nudity taboo thing, the last thing you want are bite marks
  3593. 3596.   >and you can tell he's distracted
  3594. 3597.   >maybe he was raised to think of ponies as inferiors?
  3595. 3598.   >no, he clearly treats Moondancer as an equal
  3596. 3599.   >but he did the skritchy thing
  3597. 3600.   >this requires more research!
  3598. 3601.    
  3599. 3602.   ---
  3600. 3603.    
  3601. 3604.   >you are Anon
  3602. 3605.   >and Lyra just won't stop
  3603. 3606.   >that angle
  3604. 3607.   >does she know she's wearing the equivalent of a stripper outfit?
  3605. 3608.   >...did Minuette know when she gave it to her?
  3606. 3609.   "...and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take some drawings of your anatomy"
  3607. 3610.   >so help me if she asks for the pants to come off, I'm just going to believe I've been trapped in a clop story and do what the male leads are supposed to do...
  3608. 3611.    
  3609. 3612.   ---
  3610. 3613.    
  3611. 3614.   >you are Moondancer
  3612. 3615.   >and it's been a few hours, but not only is the busted pipe fixed
  3613. 3616.   >they fixed a dozen other leaks
  3614. 3617.   >and the clogged sink
  3615. 3618.   >and the toilet flushes right for the first time in a decade
  3616. 3619.   >what a mushroom cutie mark has to do with plumbing, you have no idea
  3617. 3620.   >anyone who says unicorns cornered the magic market never met these two
  3618. 3621.   "No extra charge, it's part of the package!"
  3619. 3622.   >and you pay without a second thought (but have change left over)
  3620. 3623.   "Okey-dokey!"
  3621. 3624.   >says the red one as he hands you the receipt and a business card
  3622. 3625.   >and they're off with their toolboxes balanced on their backs like it isn't even there
  3623. 3626.    
  3624. 3627.   >you are Anon
  3625. 3628.   >and yes, anatomy subject
  3626. 3629.   >but Lyra's been remarkably professional about this
  3627. 3630.   >given, you've ended up stretching and turning and twisting a bit, but it's not at all lewd
  3628. 3631.   >and no clothing has been removed whatsoever
  3629. 3632.   >in fact, she's done!
  3630. 3633.   >"You didn't need anything else?"
  3631. 3634.   "Oh, that was perfect! Minuette was nice enough to help me out with a lot of the things I thought would be outside your comfort zone."
  3632. 3635.   >"Minuette-"
  3633. 3636.   "Yep! She's actually really good with drawing things."
  3634. 3637.   >and with that, Lyra gives you a hug, nabs the last bite of chocolate-mint spongecake off the plate, and walks out the door
  3635. 3638.   >you can't help looking
  3636. 3639.   >she's actually got everything covered up, though
  3637. 3640.   "Bye! If anyone asks, I'm heading home to Bon-Bon and getting out of the heat!"
  3638. 3641.   >you had no idea she had a coltfriend
  3639. 3642.   >they're in for a happy surprise in that outfit
  3640. 3643.   >speaking of happy surprises, she slipped a bag of coins in your pocket with the hug
  3641. 3644.   >score!
  3642. 3645.    
  3643. 3646.   ---
  3644. 3647.    
  3645. 3648.   >you are Moondancer
  3646. 3649.   >and you're not sure what to expect when you get there
  3647. 3650.   >Lyra -should- be done by now
  3648. 3651.   >*knockity knock*
  3649. 3652.   >and there's Anon
  3650. 3653.   >and he sweeps you off your feet with a smooch
  3651. 3654.   >that's a little bit more than a smooch
  3652. 3655.   >hooooo wow that's a LOT more than a smooch
  3653. 3656.   >he's got a big bump in his pants
  3654. 3657.   >and he's nuzzling your neck
  3655. 3658.   >and pulling off your sweater
  3656. 3659.   >do Anons go into heat?
  3657. 3660.   >on my back
  3658. 3661.   >on the bed
  3659. 3662.   >kisses going down my belly
  3660. 3663.   >down some more
  3661. 3664.   >he is -really happy to see me-
  3662. 3665.   >and I'm really happy to see him
  3663. 3666.    
  3664. 3667.   ---
  3665. 3668.    
  3666. 3669.   >you are Anon
  3667. 3670.   >and you're laying in bed with Moondancer
  3668. 3671.   >she's definitely feeling better
  3669. 3672.   >and you're definitely not blue-balling it anymore
  3670. 3673.   >one hand making little circles between her forelegs
  3671. 3674.   >and that literal afterglow she makes after she comes
  3672. 3675.   >little sparkles of night-light drifting through the air, enough to see outlines
  3673. 3676.    
  3674. 3677.   ---
  3675. 3678.    
  3676. 3679.   >you are Moondancer
  3677. 3680.   >and Anon just did it again
  3678. 3681.   >so much want
  3679. 3682.   >all for you
  3680. 3683.   >it's intoxicating to be so wanted
  3681. 3684.   >more so to be really loved
  3682. 3685.    
  3683. 3686.   >you are Anon
  3684. 3687.   >and it's Pillow Talk Time
  3685. 3688.   >as Anon is being used as pillow
  3686. 3689.   "So, you mean they don't go into heat?"
  3687. 3690.   >"Nope. Once a, er, moon or so they get all crampy and grumpy though."
  3688. 3691.   "And you mate -all the time-?"
  3689. 3692.   >"Well, when we're horny."
  3690. 3693.   "...you grow horns when it's time for foals?"
  3691. 3694.   >"Figure of speech. "
  3692. 3695.   "Is THAT why you're into unicorns?"
  3693. 3696.   >"No, it's because you squeak when I kiss you on the horn."
  3694. 3697.   "You've never kissed my- EEP! Do that some more..."
  3695. 3698.    
  3696. 3699.   ---
  3697. 3700.    
  3698. 3701.   >you are Moondancer
  3699. 3702.   >and Anon keeps the bed just the right temperature when you're next to him
  3700. 3703.   >normally, you're always at least little chilly
  3701. 3704.   >unless you're in heat
  3702. 3705.   >the only chills you get with Anon are the kind you have when he kissed your horn
  3703. 3706.   >or other spots
  3704. 3707.   >they're the kind that make you feel even warmer afterwards
  3705. 3708.   >you could chase off a wendigo herd feeling like that
  3706. 3709.   >but you'd rather nibble on Anon's ear with just a little bit of teeth and giggle like a goof
  3707. 3710.   >so you do
  3708. 3711.    
  3709. 3712.   ---
  3710. 3713.    
  3711. 3714.   >you are Cadence, wrapping up your bi-monthly visit to Canterlot
  3712. 3715.   >and you like to close your eyes to watch the city at night
  3713. 3716.   >it's an ocean of lights behind your eyelids
  3714. 3717.   >the bright sparks of young romance
  3715. 3718.   >the roaring little flames that start little foals
  3716. 3719.   >hearthfires of families, father, mother, children
  3717. 3720.   >the banked embers of old mares and stallions
  3718. 3721.   >pink twinkles dancing circles around each other in the skies and drifting along on clouds
  3719. 3722.   >and there's a ruddy glow in the middle of the lot that isn't quite like the rest
  3720. 3723.   >like you're going to let one of Twilight's friends be miserable for a little plumbing, right?
  3721. 3724.    
  3722. 3725.   >you are Lyra
  3723. 3726.   >you happen to be sitting in a dressage club
  3724. 3727.   >Minuette's working but she'll be done in a few
  3725. 3728.   >in the back
  3726. 3729.   >too many frisky stallions watching and it's already way too warm in front
  3727. 3730.   >and Bon-Bon said she'd meet you and Minuette for dessert later once she got a little business done
  3728. 3731.    
  3729. 3732.   ---
  3730. 3733.    
  3731. 3734.   >you are Bon Bon
  3732. 3735.   >Agent of SMILE
  3733. 3736.   >but maybe you know me better as Sweetie Drops
  3734. 3737.   >if you're reading this without clearance, the memory wipe will trigger *BWAP* now.
  3735. 3738.   >and you're casing the subject's place while she's with her coltfriend
  3736. 3739.   >you had to go off the books when Cadence became Empress
  3737. 3740.   >but that never lasts long
  3738. 3741.   >Equestria always needs it's protectors of Love and Laughter
  3739. 3742.   >that means you
  3740. 3743.   >...not a shred of evidence of forbidden desire spells anywhere in the place
  3741. 3744.   >Agents Pipe and Plunger found nothing
  3742. 3745.   >but two cases of infatuation magic and only one unicorn caught in such a small area
  3743. 3746.   >there has to be an accomplice!
  3744. 3747.   >you leap out the window into the dark back yard
  3745. 3748.   >your dessert appointment will be topped with the bitter dark chocolate sauce of failure, today
  3746. 3749.   >but Bon Bon has to be seen or questions you don't want asked happen...
  3747. 3750.    
  3748. 3751.   >you are Bon Bon
  3749. 3752.   >and you're about halfway through sundaes with your best friend in so many ways Lyra and her old Canterlot friend, Minuette.
  3750. 3753.   >they're chatting
  3751. 3754.   >you've got your mission on your mind, but you can't say anything about that NOW
  3752. 3755.   "And good GRIEF I hate getting this heat"
  3753. 3756.   >Heh. Haven't had that problem since the first go-round with that bugbear. Amazing what having a giant stinger poisoning your reproductive tract will do for that...
  3754. 3757.   >Now, if the source of that magic wasn't stashed in the home, where could it be
  3755. 3758.   "I know, right? Moondancer's friend helped ME with that. Boy, did he ever!"
  3756. 3759.   >Wait, that's right. She's got a coltfriend named...
  3757. 3760.   >"Anon!"
  3758. 3761.   >you said that out loud, didn't you
  3759. 3762.   "Yep! You've heard of him too, Bon Bon?"
  3760. 3763.   >think fast, Lyra doesn't know that you know she got some research time in with a Hoom...
  3761. 3764.   >"Well, yes! I hear they even know about him in the castle!"
  3762. 3765.   "Aww, you ruined my surprise..."
  3763. 3766.   "You mean you knew about him and Lemon Drops?"
  3764. 3767.   >he's got someone in the castle staff?
  3765. 3768.   >A race legendary for turning ponies into pets?
  3766. 3769.   >and unknown uses of illicit love magic around a unicorn with a Hoom for a coltfriend?
  3767. 3770.   >you need an in to Anon's place
  3768. 3771.   "It's toooo bad you spent all your fun money on researching Anon, and not FUN with Anon, Lyrrrrra...."
  3769. 3772.   >!
  3770. 3773.   >you grin
  3771. 3774.   >most ponies would take that as you being pervy right now
  3772. 3775.   >but Lyra's your way in
  3773. 3776.   >and after the Changeling Incident, you have enough spell triggers on her that any mind control will light up the room like Celestia on a flare bender
  3774. 3777.   >if he's the culprit, it'll be obvious and....
  3775. 3778.   >"How about I spend MY fun money on you having some fun, Lyra?"
  3776. 3779.   >Minuette clearly approves of this message
  3777. 3780.   "Oh, it is SO worth it Lyra! Anon will spoil you for stallions..."
  3778. 3781.   >Heh. She doesn't know I already did...
  3779. 3782.   "And we'll go out for brunch the next morning! I felt kinda guilty not inviting Moondancer for sundaes anyway..."
  3780. 3783.   >"Perfect!"
  3781. 3784.    
  3782. 3785.   >you are still Bon Bon, Agent of SMILE
  3783. 3786.   >and having Moondancer under your nose will be perfect
  3784. 3787.   >no matter how good she is, if she casts anything like that around Lyra, you'll know in an instant
  3785. 3788.   >and Lyra will be one big Anon-detection system on hooves
  3786. 3789.   >so you'll have both of them covered
  3787. 3790.   >Directo-I mean Empress Cadence was only able to tell everyone to "keep an eye on these two"
  3788. 3791.   >but you could easily figure out what needed to be done given what you knew
  3789. 3792.   >the unicorn using infatuation spells
  3790. 3793.   >Moondancer being his neighbor
  3791. 3794.   >a weird biped from a race that makes pony slaves
  3792. 3795.   >add it all together and something stinks
  3793. 3796.   >and you've got the perfect setup to catch one or both of them in the act now
  3794. 3797.   >you get through the rest of that hot fudge sundae with even more pleasure than usual
  3795. 3798.   >and you'll put all that extra happy to use on Lyra tonight once you get her alone, in bed, snuggling and cuddling her brains out.
  3796. 3799.    
  3797. 3800.   ---
  3798. 3801.    
  3799. 3802.   >it's the next day, and you're Anon
  3800. 3803.   >at the library
  3801. 3804.   >it's a really nice day
  3802. 3805.   >but Canterlot Branch Library usually is, apparently
  3803. 3806.   >and that's before adding Moonie into the equation
  3804. 3807.   >lunch break hits, and you go looking for someone to share sandwiches with
  3805. 3808.   >it has been determined they taste better when the original owner is your coltfriend/marefriend and then switch
  3806. 3809.   >and there's Moondancer on the front steps, chatting with Lyra and some other earth pony-
  3807. 3810.    
  3808. 3811.   ---
  3809. 3812.    
  3810. 3813.   >you are Moondancer
  3811. 3814.   >and Bon Bon is seriously buttering you up
  3812. 3815.   >"I mean, Lemon Drops apparently loved his work, and Minuette wouldn't stop talking about him long enough to finish her double strawberry swirl!"
  3813. 3816.   >speaking of that strawberry color, you're blushing
  3814. 3817.   >that's your coltfriend, after all
  3815. 3818.   >and he's even better than that to you
  3816. 3819.   "So I thought I'd make Lyra's vacation -really- good and hire Anon for the night!"
  3817. 3820.   >Lyra's had a seriously flagging tail while she's here
  3818. 3821.   >"He's the best in Canterlot!"
  3819. 3822.   "Bu-but don't Hoomans have trouble with being naked?"
  3820. 3823.    
  3821. 3824.   >you are Anon
  3822. 3825.   >and you've found your marefriend discussing your comfort levels with nakkid times
  3823. 3826.   >it's not like most ponies have problems with being naked
  3824. 3827.   >you're more likely to get called lewd talking about saddles and lacy bridles here
  3825. 3828.   >perfect stealth position for Lyra and Bon Bon so...
  3826. 3829.   >"Not when I'm holding a sweet, brainy mare."
  3827. 3830.   >Lyra spooks
  3828. 3831.   >Bon Bon doesn't even flinch
  3829. 3832.   >Moondancer gets a really nice flush going and shivers a little
  3830. 3833.   >the good kind of shivers, but she knew you were coming
  3831. 3834.   "Bon Bon wanted to get an appointment for Lyra as a present."
  3832. 3835.   >That's....strangely sweet of her.
  3833. 3836.   >time to be slightly pervy
  3834. 3837.   >"So, you want me, and Lyra together all night so you can watc-"
  3835. 3838.   "Ha! Hahahah! No! We're going to have a mare's night out, just me and Moondancer and Minuette! And breakfast afterwards for everybody!"
  3836. 3839.    
  3837. 3840.   ---
  3838. 3841.    
  3839. 3842.   >you are Bon Bon
  3840. 3843.   >he COULDN'T know what you have in mind
  3841. 3844.   >...could he?
  3842. 3845.   >you must be getting sloppy
  3843. 3846.    
  3844. 3847.   ---
  3845. 3848.    
  3846. 3849.   >you are Moondancer
  3847. 3850.   >and this sounds like a great next couple of days
  3848. 3851.   >there's a really nice Waffles, Omlettes, and Stationary place downtown you've been dying to go to
  3849. 3852.   >"Let me get your deposit down and I promise you Lyra, he's the best gentlestallion you'll ever-"
  3850. 3853.   >*glomph*
  3851. 3854.   >share a sandwich with, apparently
  3852. 3855.   >peanut butter and jelly, om nom nom
  3853. 3856.   >he's apparently good at remembering you forgot about lunch break, too
  3854. 3857.    
  3855. 3858.   ---
  3856. 3859.    
  3857. 3860.   >you are Anon
  3858. 3861.   >Moondancer has a mouthful of peanut butter (extra sticky, the way you like it)
  3859. 3862.   >"Moondancer's never steered me wrong on a client or a friend. And lucky you-"
  3860. 3863.   >*boop*
  3861. 3864.   >"You get to be both tomorrow!"
  3862. 3865.   >Bon Bon looks a bit cross at that last bit.
  3863. 3866.   >Well, you DID just boop her marefriend, apparently.
  3864. 3867.   >*boop*
  3865. 3868.   >so you boop her too
  3866. 3869.    
  3867. 3870.   ---
  3868. 3871.    
  3869. 3872.   >you are Bon Bon
  3870. 3873.   >he....booped you!
  3871. 3874.   >he booped Lyra!
  3872. 3875.   >...if he's the evil love-slaver, he's beyond perfidious booping grown mares in public like that-
  3873. 3876.   >stay cool, Bon Bon
  3874. 3877.   >he's trying to get in your head-
  3875. 3878.   >he's hugging Moondancer
  3876. 3879.   >aww, they're so cute together-
  3877. 3880.   >HEAD IN THE GAME!
  3878. 3881.    
  3879. 3882.   >you are Anon
  3880. 3883.   >and you're just going for a walk in the park with friends
  3881. 3884.   >you and Moonie and Lyra and Bon Bon and Minuette
  3882. 3885.   >poor Bon Bon seems to be left out of the "old friends catching up" bit, so you sidle up next to her
  3883. 3886.   >she looks out of sorts, anyway
  3884. 3887.    
  3885. 3888.   ---
  3886. 3889.    
  3887. 3890.   >you are Bon Bon
  3888. 3891.   >and you're still a mite flustered by the wanton booping
  3889. 3892.   >and Lyra's chatting up a storm about that mare who got her head stuck in a flask in school
  3890. 3893.   >you're the mare on the side
  3891. 3894.   >and here comes that...shameless booper
  3892. 3895.    
  3893. 3896.   ---
  3894. 3897.    
  3895. 3898.   >you are Anon
  3896. 3899.   >and you'd really like to talk with Bon Bon
  3897. 3900.   >she's Lyra's other half, after all
  3898. 3901.   >"While they're reliving third grade, I thought it'd be nice to get to know you better. I mean, you -are- Lyra's best friend and I don't want to do anything to hurt that."
  3899. 3902.   >well, that threw her for a loop
  3900. 3903.   >"Sooooo...what kinda cake does she like?"
  3901. 3904.    
  3902. 3905.   ---
  3903. 3906.    
  3904. 3907.   >you are Moondancer
  3905. 3908.   >and Bon Bon and Anon are talking like they're walking
  3906. 3909.   >it's nice to know your friends are being good friends too
  3907. 3910.   "And then Twilight accidentally hits the FLASK with the shrinking spell!"
  3908. 3911.   >ooh, this is always the good part...
  3909. 3912.    
  3910. 3913.   ---
  3911. 3914.    
  3912. 3915.   >you are Bon Bon and are being pumped for intel like a well handle
  3913. 3916.   >and Anon has just been one of the most thoughtful stallions you've ever met
  3914. 3917.   >Lyra's a little ditzy at times and prone to second-guessing
  3915. 3918.   >and she likes getting her tail braided
  3916. 3919.   >and she always gets sore hocks sitting all funny like that
  3917. 3920.   >...wow, you coulda used this stallion in Polite Questioning Section (always mind your PQS when getting intel from a source!)
  3918. 3921.   >he even managed to get you to tell him about that time you made her three-chocolate caramels for Lyra's birthday
  3919. 3922.   >and you end up from there on Germane Katzen Pfotchen by the end of it
  3920. 3923.   >he's more a chocolate licorice kind of stallion
  3921. 3924.   >you like yours strong and salty
  3922. 3925.   >and you don't even realize you're at the end of the path until you trip on the curb
  3923. 3926.   >Lyra laughs, and it's enough to nearly cause a toothache at how sweet it is
  3924. 3927.   >h-he's a nice stallion!
  3925. 3928.    
  3926. 3929.   >you are still Bon Bon
  3927. 3930.   >and there's a nose helping push you up off your near-faceplant
  3928. 3931.   >it's Lyra, and it turns into a nuzzle
  3929. 3932.   >you were just wobbly getting up, honest
  3930. 3933.   "Being best wingpony, Bonnie?"
  3931. 3934.   >and she sidles up real close as you walk out of the park
  3932. 3935.   "I saw you checking out Anon while I talked with the girls..."
  3933. 3936.   >you were totally NOT checking out Anon!
  3934. 3937.   >well, not THAT way
  3935. 3938.   "Someone's earned themselves a hoofrub when we get back to our room for being best pony."
  3936. 3939.   >that's why it works with Lyra
  3937. 3940.   >you're best for each other, often
  3938. 3941.   >tonight it's her turn!
  3939. 3942.    
  3940. 3943.   ---
  3941. 3944.    
  3942. 3945.   >you are Moondancer
  3943. 3946.   >and your Anon is being an A-plus stallion
  3944. 3947.   >so you bump up against his knee while he's watching Lyra and Bon Bon be adorable
  3945. 3948.   >"Bon Bon's a nice mare, isn't she?"
  3946. 3949.   "Well, she doesn't have you to cuddle at night, so she's not as -lucky- as somebody I know."
  3947. 3950.   >that's another coltfriend point scored
  3948. 3951.   >"You're definitely NOT on the couch tonight."
  3949. 3952.   >ooh, HUG
  3950. 3953.   >someone's whistling at you
  3951. 3954.   >probably Minuette
  3952. 3955.   >don't care, hugging
  3953. 3956.   >done
  3954. 3957.   >Anon's waving goodbye
  3955. 3958.   >"See everybody tomorrow!"
  3956. 3959.   >Anon rubs noses with you when you get back to your front walk
  3957. 3960.   >and you go in singing something wordlessly happy and tidy up
  3958. 3961.   >just because you feel good
  3959. 3962.   >cobwebs are vanquished, plates are shiny
  3960. 3963.   >maybe you've got enough in the budget now for a new bed
  3961. 3964.   >big enough for two
  3962. 3965.   >maybe big enough for two for a long, long time?
  3963. 3966.   >outside, Golden Pearl closes her window as your somewhat off-key serenade increases in volume, but it's not like you'd notice
  3964. 3967.    
  3965. 3968.   >You are Anon
  3966. 3969.   >and you feel like you slept for a month straight
  3967. 3970.   >which is good, considering tonight
  3968. 3971.   >maybe that explains the frantic rapping on your door?
  3969. 3972.   >HOLYSHITTENMINUTESTILLWORK
  3970. 3973.   >PANTS
  3971. 3974.   >NOT BOTH LEGS IN HALF OF PANTS
  3972. 3975.   >PANTS AGAIN
  3973. 3976.   >SHIRT
  3974. 3977.   >SHOE-*SNAP*
  3975. 3978.   >shit, the heel broke!
  3976. 3979.   >BAREFOOT MONKEY STYLE
  3977. 3980.   >OUT THE DOOR
  3978. 3981.   "Anon! I came to- YEEEP!"
  3979. 3982.   >SCOOP THE UNICORN
  3980. 3983.   >DOWN THE STAIRS
  3981. 3984.   >or in this case, leap down the flights and forget actual stairs
  3982. 3985.   "Nonnnnnieeeeeeeeek!"
  3983. 3986.   >CHARGE OUT THE DOOR
  3984. 3987.   "Why, I never!"
  3985. 3988.   >apologize hurriedly
  3986. 3989.   >MAXIMUM JOB-SAVING VELOCITY
  3987. 3990.   "MY CABBAGES!"
  3988. 3991.   "My goodness!"
  3989. 3992.   >nearslip on the marble library steps
  3990. 3993.   >ACROBATIC TUMBLE
  3991. 3994.   >Ok, SKID INTO FRONT DOOR ON FACE
  3992. 3995.   "Mister Anon! Is that Moondancer on your back?"
  3993. 3996.   >"She....she likes the ride..."
  3994. 3997.   "Eheee....e-HEE, ehee..."
  3995. 3998.   >"W-wasn't that fun, Moonie?"
  3996. 3999.   *thud*
  3997. 4000.    
  3998. 4001.   ---
  3999. 4002.    
  4000. 4003.   >you are Moondancer
  4001. 4004.   >and you were grabbed by your big ol' monkey lover
  4002. 4005.   >and took the two-minute tour
  4003. 4006.   >through some poor pony's produce pile
  4004. 4007.   >up the stairs, over a cartwheel, into the air
  4005. 4008.   >and landing with all four hooves on Anon's back as he skidded into work
  4006. 4009.   >that last part was a little much
  4007. 4010.   >so you spend some quality time on the floor with Anon while your eyes stop swirling
  4008. 4011.   >and levitate the sign-in sheet over
  4009. 4012.   >pull his hand through the mail slot on the door
  4010. 4013.   >slap it on the tally sheet
  4011. 4014.   >with about ten seconds to spare
  4012. 4015.   >Day Planner gets a little sore-hoofed when she's short-hoofed on the schedule
  4013. 4016.   >...why isn't Anon's hand fitting back through the mail slot?
  4014. 4017.    
  4015. 4018.   >you are Anon
  4016. 4019.   >and you're hand seems to be jammed into something rather unyielding
  4017. 4020.   >...oh, that's the library door
  4018. 4021.   >...with your arm stuck in it
  4019. 4022.   >think relaxing thoughts, Anon
  4020. 4023.   >now that it isn't all tensed up expecting another collision, it squeezes back through without a problem
  4021. 4024.   >channeling your inner cool cat, you go into the back room like nothing had happened
  4022. 4025.   >Bookmark's staring at you
  4023. 4026.   "Um...Anon? You kinda have skid marks on your muzzle."
  4024. 4027.   >bathroom mirror
  4025. 4028.   >sure enough, there's a wad of gum smeared down the bridge of your nose
  4026. 4029.   >Ewww.
  4027. 4030.   >ah well, it gives you a good excuse to wash up a little and peel the used gum off your face
  4028. 4031.   >and looking only slightly trainwrecked, you step out of the stallion's stall and get to doing something mostly normal
  4029. 4032.   "PASTE POT! I TOLD YOU TO STOP LEAVING YOUR CHEWING GUM ON THE BATHROOM SINK!"
  4030. 4033.   >he at least has the grace to look embarassed about how it got there
  4031. 4034.   >fortunately, soap smell is stronger than overchewed wintermint smell
  4032. 4035.   >No-one will know the truth
  4033. 4036.   >OK, nobody but Bookmark
  4034. 4037.   >and Paste Pot
  4035. 4038.   >and maybe that unicorn trying very hard not to laugh over there
  4036. 4039.   >you don't know her, that Moon-loony
  4037. 4040.    
  4038. 4041.   >you are Moondancer
  4039. 4042.   >Anon is ridiculous
  4040. 4043.   >seriously, like "Griffin getting a bathtub dumped on them and acting like nothing happened" ridiculous
  4041. 4044.   >no shoes
  4042. 4045.   >messed up shirt
  4043. 4046.   >I'm such a cool stallion, you could use me for your icebox
  4044. 4047.   >you can't look at him for more than two minutes without wanting to giggle
  4045. 4048.   >but then it's four o clock and he's off to his other job
  4046. 4049.   >not without a smooch on the cheek
  4047. 4050.   >Lyra isn't gonna know what hit her
  4048. 4051.    
  4049. 4052.   ---
  4050. 4053.    
  4051. 4054.   >you are Lyra Heartstrings
  4052. 4055.   >and Bon Bon is trying to keep you from wearing a hole in the carpet
  4053. 4056.   >or from reading "Basics for Bipeds" for the twentieth time
  4054. 4057.   >I mean, what if he's hung like a minotaur?
  4055. 4058.   >you don't want to spend the night impaled on something
  4056. 4059.   >...you're not sure how something big would fit on a hoom
  4057. 4060.   >maybe he keeps it down a pants leg?
  4058. 4061.   >m-maybe that's why hooms wear pants?
  4059. 4062.   >something wet finds it's way into your ear
  4060. 4063.   >"YEEEP!"
  4061. 4064.   >the Bon-Bon Wet Willy of Sanity
  4062. 4065.   >it's going to be a long wait till six...
  4063. 4066.    
  4064. 4067.   >you are still Lyra
  4065. 4068.   >"Bonnnnnie? Can we go a little bit early? I'm sure Anon wouldn't mind."
  4066. 4069.   >you're bringing chocolate, after all
  4067. 4070.   >chocolate is the universal symbol of civilization
  4068. 4071.   >and Bon Bon could end a war with those triple-dipped cordials
  4069. 4072.   Actually I have, but that batch had enough tranquilizers to dope an Ursa Minor. They don't call me Sweetie DROPS for nothing.
  4070. 4073.   >and hey, there's Anon galloping up the stairs
  4071. 4074.   >you get a perfect view of his hindfeet as they flash up
  4072. 4075.   >which you follow up to
  4073. 4076.   >mmmm, hooms do have a nice butt when it's moving like that
  4074. 4077.   >"YEEEEE!"
  4075. 4078.   "Lyra, you're drooling at stallions again."
  4076. 4079.   >*BLUSH*
  4077. 4080.   >"Eh-heh...walk me upstairs?"
  4078. 4081.    
  4079. 4082.   ---
  4080. 4083.    
  4081. 4084.   >you are Anon
  4082. 4085.   >and you're literally running to catch up here
  4083. 4086.   >dirty clothes in hamper, hamper in closet
  4084. 4087.   >white carnation petals on the sheets
  4085. 4088.   >open closet again and strip, cause you're wearing dirty clothes
  4086. 4089.   >time for a quick shower and nice cloth-
  4087. 4090.   *shocked horse noises*
  4088. 4091.   >...I left the front door open, didn't I?
  4089. 4092.    
  4090. 4093.   >you are Bon Bon
  4091. 4094.   >and you just got to see the full moon inside a room
  4092. 4095.   >well, it's actually Anon's ass
  4093. 4096.   >you reflexively bump Lyra's flank
  4094. 4097.   *clack*
  4095. 4098.   >that would be her jaw no longer hanging down
  4096. 4099.   >"We'll just.... waitinthekitchenwebroughtchocolateandeverything!"
  4097. 4100.   >and you yank Lyra by the tail out the door and slap it shut with your hoof
  4098. 4101.   >naked hooms definitely are a little exotic
  4099. 4102.   >but he definitely had one part in place
  4100. 4103.   >no sheath or anything, just hangin' out
  4101. 4104.   "I'm going to get special snuggles from a mythical creature, Bon Bon!"
  4102. 4105.   >time for drastic measures
  4103. 4106.   >by which you mean you smooch her
  4104. 4107.   >the kind of long smooches that can cause fainting in less sturdy ponies
  4105. 4108.   >it's enough to make Lyra wobble-kneed and she's used to them
  4106. 4109.   *click*
  4107. 4110.   >and you're making out with Lyra while Anon is watching.
  4108. 4111.   >Perfect.
  4109. 4112.    
  4110. 4113.   ---
  4111. 4114.    
  4112. 4115.   >you are Anon
  4113. 4116.   >and you grabbed a robe and came out to apologize
  4114. 4117.   >"Hi, Bon Bonnnnoh I see you're occupied, gonna go take a shower and I'll be right out!"
  4115. 4118.   >it's going to be a slightly colder one than usual
  4116. 4119.   >having two mares clutching each other in the kitchen while frenching each other is about an 8 on the "things Anon likes happening as foreplay"
  4117. 4120.   >you turn on the water and start scrubbing
  4118. 4121.    
  4119. 4122.   ---
  4120. 4123.    
  4121. 4124.   >you are Bon Bon
  4122. 4125.   >and maybe you didn't realize how heated up Lyra was
  4123. 4126.   >considering she's on top of you grinding her needy crotch against yours
  4124. 4127.   >and you really can't convince yourself to stop it
  4125. 4128.   >especially when s-s-s-shhhhohmyCelestiaplaysmynipplesandclitlikeherlyre
  4126. 4129.    
  4127. 4130.   ---
  4128. 4131.    
  4129. 4132.   >you are Anon
  4130. 4133.   >there's two mares fucking, moaning, and probably making a sticky mess on your kitchen
  4131. 4134.   >you're gonna wait this one out
  4132. 4135.    
  4133. 4136.   >you are Moondancer
  4134. 4137.   >and you're about to join Bon Bon for coffee once she drops Lyra off for the evening
  4135. 4138.   >the lights are on at Anon's
  4136. 4139.   >they must still be there!
  4137. 4140.   >you get to the front door
  4138. 4141.   >there's a...lot of moaning and stuff going on near the front door
  4139. 4142.   >wow, was Lyra that needy
  4140. 4143.   "Bon Bonnnn...."
  4141. 4144.   >you push the door open verrry quietly, just a bit
  4142. 4145.   >Lyra's...
  4143. 4146.   >...you should take notes.
  4144. 4147.    
  4145. 4148.   ---
  4146. 4149.    
  4147. 4150.   >you are Lyra Heartstrings
  4148. 4151.   >and Bon Bon has been all over you about this
  4149. 4152.   >you detect just a hint of jealousy after that last smooch
  4150. 4153.   >so you're going to make sure she knows exactly how much she's wanted
  4151. 4154.   "Ohmycelestiahnnnn"
  4152. 4155.   >you think you saw little hearts flying out from under her tail when you played the Candymare's Concerto on Bon Bon's bonnie bits
  4153. 4156.   "You...Anon...go...don'tstopwaitgostartonAnonIpromisewellusethehotfudgewhenyougethomeAH!"
  4154. 4157.   >and she staggers away from your marely molestations and plunges through the front door
  4155. 4158.   >someone cries out in surprise, there's a brief crash, and the door shuts
  4156. 4159.   "I'm OK!"
  4157. 4160.    
  4158. 4161.   ---
  4159. 4162.    
  4160. 4163.   >you are Moondancer
  4161. 4164.   >and Bon Bon just charged out Anon's front door and tripped over you
  4162. 4165.   >given, you were sorta eavesdropping
  4163. 4166.   >and now you're slightly stomped and eww, sticky
  4164. 4167.   >it's on your horn and fur and everything!
  4165. 4168.   >so you float a hanky out of your saddlebags to clean up a bit
  4166. 4169.   >while you're cleaning the maregunk off, you don't even notice the little sparkly bits drifting off your horn and landing on Bon Bon's panting floor-pancake
  4167. 4170.    
  4168. 4171.   ---
  4169. 4172.    
  4170. 4173.   >you are Bon Bon
  4171. 4174.   >and you lie there waiting for the burning between your legs to settle down
  4172. 4175.   >but it doesn't
  4173. 4176.   >it spreads
  4174. 4177.   >like a pleasant fever
  4175. 4178.   >and you look up
  4176. 4179.   >why, there's Moondancer and she's looking very nice tonight
  4177. 4180.    
  4178. 4181.   ---
  4179. 4182.    
  4180. 4183.   >you are Moondancer, and you just managed to get the last of that mess off
  4181. 4184.   >and Bon Bon is grabbing you
  4182. 4185.   >she's looking into your eyes
  4183. 4186.   >she's hugging you
  4184. 4187.   "Help....me..."
  4185. 4188.   >she's burning up!
  4186. 4189.   >you help her down the stairs
  4187. 4190.   >your house isn't too far away and she can at least rest, the poor thing
  4188. 4191.    
  4189. 4192.   >you are Lyra Heartstrings
  4190. 4193.   >and you've found that interesting place between heated, anxious, and excited
  4191. 4194.   >you're alone
  4192. 4195.   >in an apartment
  4193. 4196.   >with Anon
  4194. 4197.   >"Mister Anon?"
  4195. 4198.   >you open the door, and there he is
  4196. 4199.   >stretched out on the bed, reading a book
  4197. 4200.    
  4198. 4201.   ---
  4199. 4202.    
  4200. 4203.   >you are Anon
  4201. 4204.   >and you're going to enjoy a few chapters while the thrashing and moaning dies down
  4202. 4205.   "Mister Anon?"
  4203. 4206.   >whoops, didn't think it'd be over that fast
  4204. 4207.   >you tuck the book under the bed
  4205. 4208.   >"Lyra! You and Bon Bon must have been pretty excited to drop by-yi-yi-yi!"
  4206. 4209.   >that would be on account of the blue streak leaping through the air and knocking you flat on the mattress
  4207. 4210.   >then standing over you, just...looking you over from top to bottom
  4208. 4211.   >licking her lips
  4209. 4212.   "I don't know if I should study you or mount you."
  4210. 4213.   >well, that just answered one question you had about mare-mare relationships
  4211. 4214.   >they've got tops and bottoms
  4212. 4215.   >and you're playing the role of "bottom" at the moment
  4213. 4216.    
  4214. 4217.   ---
  4215. 4218.    
  4216. 4219.   >you are Moondancer
  4217. 4220.   >and you've gotten Bon Bon home
  4218. 4221.   >she's getting the cushions tonight
  4219. 4222.   >and a big glass of water, too
  4220. 4223.   >which you float over to the sweaty mare
  4221. 4224.   >she says something you can't quite hear
  4222. 4225.   >so you get closer
  4223. 4226.   >and the glass goes crashing to the floor when she grabs you
  4224. 4227.   *SNOOOOORT*
  4225. 4228.   >and just buries her nose in your fur and takes a big breath
  4226. 4229.   "A-ahhhhh...."
  4227. 4230.   >and her eyes cross like she just accidentally swallowed a salt lick
  4228. 4231.   >and you end up with a serious case of ongoing non-consensual snuggling
  4229. 4232.   >Bon Bon can't get enough of hugging you, nuzzling your throat, cuddling you until there's cushions scattered across the entire room
  4230. 4233.   >it's like she switched from breathing air to inhaling unicorn
  4231. 4234.    
  4232. 4235.   ---
  4233. 4236.    
  4234. 4237.   >you are Bon Bon
  4235. 4238.   >and you have to...have to have this mare
  4236. 4239.   >it takes every ounce of your well-trained willpower to resist doing to her what you'd do to Lyra
  4237. 4240.   >but that doesn't stop you from criminal acts of cuddling
  4238. 4241.   >dimly, you realize you're doing something terrible
  4239. 4242.   >but the need is too strong
  4240. 4243.   >too....strong...
AIE

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