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>>43291591
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>Be Anon
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>Your legs hurt, your back hurts, you've been standing in the middle of this private audience chamber for hours
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>Royal guards flank you on either side, high standing unicorn nobles watch from the sidelines
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>In front of you, Sun Butt is levitating what's left of an exhausting stack of papers
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>One sheet splits off and drifts delicately down to join the pile sitting on the floor next to her cushioned seat
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>She lets out a thoughtful hum as she observes the last point in your sordid history of memefuckery
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>"Mister Anonymous... it says here that you were inquiring with another user as to whether..."
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>Celestia's mane billows calmly, in contrast to the regal frown forming upon her face
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>Ugh, fuck, what did you say this time? You can barely concentrate with how long this has been going on
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>"As to whether... it were acceptable to... kill young fillies."
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>You suddenly get a sharp look from the white alicorn
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>There are murmurs around you from the attending inner circles
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>Even the stallions standing guard next to you exchange a glance
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>Ah, okay, in hindsight that doesn't sound good
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>It really doesn't sound good, when she puts it like that
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"Uh- your majesty- that- that was just hypothetical. There was a discussion regarding the killing of mares and-"
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>Shocked and alarmed whispers echo around the marble chamber
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>Your blood seriously goes cold, you're sweating now-
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"-It's not what it sounds like! There was this guy, another anon, he said if a mare ever rejected him, he'd-"
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>Celestia stops you and hushes the gathering with a gesture of her wings
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>"Ah yes... him... Mister Anonymous, please calm yourself and understand, this hearing is about you, not the statements of your compatriots. Try to remain focused."
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>You swallow
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>This is the last hurdle, just explain it like it is
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"I... I was just asking!"
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>"You were... just asking? As to whether you should or should not harm innocent ponies?"
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"Look your majesty you- you gotta understand the context! I was joking around-"
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>"Joking around?"
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"I love ponies, okay! I've always wanted to be here, but back on Earth it seemed like an impossibility. I know it's wrong to hurt fillies, Princess, I know, okay?"
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>There's a certain hotness in your chest, a desperation to set what should have been a harmless comment straight
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>You can't go back, not now, not when you've finally made it
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>Sun Butt's expression has softened
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>She's waiting for you to continue
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>Take a breath
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"Anon was... making a plain statement not to kill mares. Mares specifically, not ponies in general, or fillies or stallions. So I asked him for clarity as to whether that statement included fillies."
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>"I see. As a matter of rhetoric."
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>The last sheet of paper silently descends and settles with the rest of your linguistic sins
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>"Believe it or not, Anon, over the years I have begun to develop an understanding of how your kind engages with one another. I trust that now that you are here, you will find more thoughtful ways of expressing yourself..."
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"Y-Yes Princess."
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>Is... is that it?
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>Another murmur passes around the room, softer this time
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>Celestia is standing up, the complete bulk of your record immersed in the field of her magic, rising up to accompany her
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>"Guards, please take Mister Anonymous back to his room for the time being. I will arrange a trip to Ponyville, under supervision..."
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>She looks at you, more kindly than you would have expected
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>The royal guards next to you salute, hooves clanking against their helmets as Sun Butt begins to move to exit via a side door
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>Haha! You passed! You hunch up and do a little fist pump, whispering under your breath
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"Yes! Yes yes yes..."
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>A careful nudge pulls you out of your celebration, both guards are looking at you as the other atendees filter out, many still bearing concerned looks
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>Can't really blame them, especially if... wait, Celly knows
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>About all of you
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>Or... some of you, at least?
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>"Sir?"
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"Oh, sorry. Uh, let's go."
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>Worry about it later
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>With a spring in your step, you follow the guardponies out, the hallways of Canterlot Castle feeling bright and open
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>It was close, but... as long as you don't mess it up from here, you should be good
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>Just don't say anything stupid or weird
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>Easy!
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>Equestria baby!
by Penname
by Penname
by Penname